Professional conversations with familiesthe good, the bad and the ugly

Heather Barnes

Ballarat, Bairnsdale, Benalla, Bendigo, Colac, Camperdown, Echuca, Geelong, Hamilton, Leopold, Melbourne (city and metropolitan), Mildura, Moe, Point Cook, Port Fairy, Portland, Sale, Seymour, Swan Hill, Traralgon, Warragul, Warrnambool, Werribee, Winchelsea, Wodonga, Atherton, Ayr, Bowen, Brisbane, Cairns, Charters Towers, Cooktown, Cooya Beach, Croydon, Georgetown, Gympie, Ingham, Innisfail, Karumba, , Mackay, Magnetic Island, Mareeba, Maroochydore, Mission Beach, Mossman, Mt Isa, Normanton, Port Douglas, Rockhampton, Surfers Paradise, Toowoomba, Tully, Townsville, Weipa, Yungaburra, Alice Springs, Alyangula, Darwin, Jabiru, Gunbalanya, Katherine, Nhulunbuy, Ntaria, Tennant Creek, Yuendumu, Yulara, Albany, Bunbury, Brookton, Broome, Busselton, Carnarvon, Denmark, Derby, Dunsborough, Esperance, Fremantle, Geraldton, Kalgoorlie, Karratha, Katanning, Kununurra, Mandurah, Margaret River, Mount Barker, Narrogin, Northampton, Perth, Port Hedland, Wyndham, Canberra, Burnie, Devonport, Hobart, Launceston, Albury, Broken Hill, Newcastle, Orange, Sydney, Wollongong, Adelaide, Port Augusta. Christmas Island, Cocos Islands, Falkland Islands

This session . . .

Encourage reflection on professional conversations with families:

• about their child’s learning and development

• about sensitive issues

• when they are raising issues that are important to them

‘The role of parents and families is respected and supported’Guiding principles of the NQF

Guide to the National Quality Framework, 2018, p. 11

NQS Quality Area 6: Collaborative partnerships with families and communities

Standard 6.1

Respectful relationships with families are developed and maintained and families are supported in their parenting role.

Element 6.1.2 Assessors may observe:

• information being exchanged between families and educators at arrival and departure times

• educators and families discussing children’s individual requirements and play preferences sensitively, respectfully and confidentially

• educators demonstrating a non-judgmental understanding of each child, and each child’s family and community context

• educators sharing with families:

»» some of the interactions they have had with children

»» children’s successes and achievements

‘If our conversations are limited to “Sarah had a good day today” or “Toby had fun in the sandpit” then families get little sense of what we actually do. When we take the time to have deeper conversations about children’s interests and their learning it gives families an insight into their own child’s day as well as the importance of our role as educators.’

Connecting with Families (DEEWR)

Element 6.1.2 Assessors may observe:

• families:»» being informed promptly and sensitively of any incidents affecting their child»» talking about the values and expectations they hold in relation to their child’s wellbeing and learning»» sharing their knowledge, skills and expertise as well as aspects of their family life and culture»» contributing to the documentation of their child’s learning and goal-setting.

Sharing aspects of their family life

Contributing their child’s current interests

NQS Quality Area 1: Educational program and practice

Element 1.3.3

Assessors may sight:

• documentation (such as a communication plan) that demonstrates that families have been consulted about how they would like to receive information about their child’s progress

• a range of strategies being implemented to share information with families in meaningful and useful ways

A Communication Plan

Reinforces that educators and families want to share information with each other

Clarifies what level of communication to expect

Outlines the methods that will be used to share information

Shows that you see collaboration as important and that you value their input

Exceeding guidance: Standard 6.1

Exceeding theme 1: Practice is embedded in service operations

Across the service, the observed and discussed approach to building respectful and supportive relationships with families demonstrates a strong commitment to the principles and practices of the approved learning framework/s, and aligns with the educational program, the service’s statement of philosophy, and the enrolment and orientation process.

Exceeding theme 2: Practice is informed by critical reflection

Educators, co-ordinators and the educational leader:

»» consider and discuss social justice and equity implications of their approach to engaging with and supporting each family’s participation in the service, including self awareness of their own biases and how these may impact on building respectful relationships with families

As a team, educators, co-ordinators and the educational leader engage in robust debate and discussion about the service’s approach to engaging with families and supporting their participation at the service. As part of this debate and discussion, personal, professional and organisational values that influence practice are identified, discussed and challenged.

Exceeding theme 3: Practice is shaped by meaningful engagement with families and/or the community

Educators, co-ordinators and the educational leader:

»» consistently tailor their approaches to communicating with and engaging with each family in recognition of individual families’ circumstances and ways of connection, and seek out families’ views on their preferred means of communication and participation from enrolment

Diverse family structures

Other ways they are unique

• The culture of each family – how they live their lives

• Their celebrations

• Their interests

• Their involvement in the community – sport, hobbies, religious affiliations

• Their connection to extended family and friends

• Their use of community amenities such as the library or leisure facilities

• Their commitments (work, family, study or other)

Families are diverse in the way they react, respond and participate

• Their expectations

• Their confidence and assertiveness

• Their interest or availability to be involved

The importance of connections

‘Connected families display lower stress levels, have better relationships and are more able to accept and access support. Connection and support help us all cope better with life’s ups and downs’

Kids Matter, Every Child, p. 23.

QA 6

Effective, respectful communication between educators and families builds shared understanding of each other’s expectations and attitudes, and builds on the strength of each other’s knowledge.

Standard 6.1 Guide to the NQS, 2018 p. 250

Reflect on your enrolment and orientation procedures

Are families offered assistance with the enrolment procedures (if they have low literacy or comprehension skills)?

Do you provide a family handbook?

Do you identify goals for their child with them? Do you complete a communication plan with them?

How do you respond if families want to spend time doing a gradual orientation that is longer than you think is necessary?

How do you respond if they are not able to complete the orientation due to work or other commitments?

Possible obstacles to effective conversations

Educators’ attitudes

Families’ attitudes

Families . . . . .

Anti

Assertive

Aggressive

‘Angel’ mentality

Anxious

Apprehensive

Attitudes of some families

I had awful experiences with teachers and schools and this place brings back those memories.

I don’t understand why the children are not learning the important things like alphabet, numbers and colours. They just play.

The educators don’t seem to notice my child or pay any attention to her.

Families express concern for their child’s wellbeing in many different ways.

Some might seem overbearing, demanding and critical

Some may become defensive

Some use ‘carpark gossip’ to express their feelings but don’t share them with you!

Attitudes of some educators

I’ve tried hard to connect with that family but they don’t seem friendly

That family really doesn’t seem to appreciate how hard we work and are always complaining about something

If only the family showed more interest/cared more about the child/used better guidance at home, then there wouldn’t be so many behaviour challenges

I don’t really feel comfortable with the practices of that family’s religion/culture

I have trouble pronouncing their names so I feel embarrassed

Families need to be more involved in the service

Using a strengths-based approach

Adapted from ‘Adopting a strengths approach in child care services,

Putting Children First, NCAC, March 2008

The… is… that..

dysfunctional family a family is experiencing difficult life circumstances

uninterested family a family has many competingpriorities

high maintenance family

a family ???

Sometimes family aspirations and expectations can be in conflict with service philosophy and practice. Open, respectful and non-judgmental communication between educators and families builds a shared understanding of children’s learning and participation.

Standard 6.1 Guide to the NQS 2018, p. 250.

Raising sensitive issues with families

"Parents should be encouraged to raise any concerns with the professional, and in turn those working with young children should establish the kind of trusting relationship that allows a mutual sharing of observations and any concerns...This sort of relationship is likely to lead to positive outcomes for the child and the family, as well as being very satisfying for the professional"

Professor Frank Oberklaid, 2004

Ensure that you have documentation that supports your concerns (clear, factual, descriptive observations)

Have a copy of the age-appropriate pages from the Developmental Milestones and the Early Years Learning Framework and the National Quality Standard

Prepare a profile of the child with co-educator

Seek support from others (coordinator/director/educational leader)

Arrange to meet with the family to discuss concerns at a mutually convenient time

Have referral options available

When families raise sensitive issues

Acknowledge the parent’s feelings and be sensitive to his or her experience and perspectives

Explain the reason for the current practice

Avoid judgmental statements or put-downs

Listen and accept the parent’s statements without necessarily agreeing with them

Clarify the issue to check everyone’s understanding

Involve the parent in brainstorming ways in which the problem might be solved or consensus reached

Effective communication with families

Does not mean:

Everyone always has to agree

Everyone always likes everyone else

Has to share the same values and ideas

Does mean:

Mutual respect

Listening

Compromise

Effective Communication Techniques

Attending

Focusing and concentrating your whole attention on them.

Active listening

Tuning in and using open-ended questions

Empathic responses

Using body language and tone of voice, paraphrasing/reflecting back

Planning together

Suggesting alternatives and summarising the next step

“We need to think about our interactions with parents as actually supporting the parents and meeting their needs rather than meeting a need of ours and making us feel good”

Child Australia

Help families in their parenting role

Listen

Refer to the Regulations and NQS

Don’t be the expert

Provide information to extend their knowledge and understanding about: Development Behaviour (sharing, biting, tantrums, friendships) Toileting Children’s need for rest Children’s creativity Learning through play

Keep them informed

Make positive contacts with parents regularly to share information about their child, not just communicate with them when there is a problem.

How can we share more with families about the interesting things that we have noticed about each child’s learning?

Do we raise issues of concern or do we avoid the conversation because we know the family may not react well?

Do we really listen to families’ concerns?

How can we ‘be there’ more for families who are struggling?

If we genuinely take on board the message that what matters most in a child’s life is the relationship with family and the family’s ability to support the child’s wellbeing, how will that affect our work tomorrow? What might we do differently?

Developing an effective and professional approach to communicating with families takes time and effort, but the result is a better relationship between the family and the service, and positive outcomes for children.

References and further reading

Barnes, H. (2008) Communicating with new families. Putting Children First, National Childcare Accreditation Council, Issue 28, December. http://ncac.acecqa.gov.au/educator-resources/pcf-articles/Communicating_with%20_new_families.pdf

Benveniste, J. (2013) A practice guide for working with families from pre-birth to eight years. Engaging Families in the Early Childhood Development Story. Melbourne, Victoria: Education Services Australia Ltd as the legal entity for the Standing Council on School Education and Early Childhood (SCSEEC).

Carbone, S., Fraser, A, Ramburuth, R & Nelms, L. (2004) Breaking Cycles, Building Futures. Melbourne, Victoria: Victorian Government Department of Human Services.

Child Australia (2012) Build Strong Partnerships with Families. How to Series, PSC Alliance.

DEEWR) (2012). Connecting with families. Bringing the EYLF to life in your community. Living the Early Years Learning Framework Everyday - Practice Based Resources for the Early Years Learning Framework. Canberra, ACT: Commonwealth of Australia.

KidsMatter (2011) Working with parents and carers. Every Child. Vol.17 No 3. Watson, ACT: ECA.

Oberklaid, F. (2004). Health in Early Childhood Settings. Castle Hill NSW: Pademelon Press.

McFarlane, Jan. Adopting a strengths approach in child care services. Putting Children First, National Childcare Accreditation Council, Issue Twenty Five, March 2008

Touhill, L. (2012) Community Engagement NQS PLP e-Newsletter No 47 Community Engagement http://www.earlychildhoodaustralia.org.au/nqsplp/e-newsletters/newsletters-46-50/

Whalley, M. (2005). The Pen Green Centre Team, Working with Parents. Hodder and Stoughton, UK.