Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don’t criticize, condemn (осудува), or complain.

2.Give honest and sincere appreciationa.Don’t just tell someone something small like “You’re doing great” or

“Looking good!”, but tell them HOW they’re doing great, or what about them looks good, etc…

3.Arouse (predizvikaj) in the other person an eager want.

a. Convince this person of how something can benefit them

Ways to Make People Like You

4.Become genuinely interested in other peoplea. Say Hello to people in a way that shows you are pleased to talk with

them.

5.Smilea.Sincere

6.Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

7.Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

a.Be interested. Ask questions that people will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.

8.Talk in terms of the other person’s interests9.Make the other person feel important – and

do it sincerelya. If you want to be appreciated, feel important, worthwhile, give that

feeling to others first.

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

a.Look for areas of agreement.

11. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “you’re wrong”.

a.Well, now, look, I thought otherwise, but I may be wrong. I frequently am. And if I am wrong, I want to be put right. Let’s examine the facts

b.Respect other’s opinions

12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

13. Begin in a friendly way.14. Get the other person saying “Yes, Yes”

immediately.a.Cold reading

15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking

a.Listen to their accomplishments. Don’t boast about your own. Mention your achievements only when asked.

16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

a.Ask for their ideas or advice about something

17. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

a.Remember to not condemn someone for being wrong, even if they are DEAD wrong. The wise try to understand why this person would say something like that.

18. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

a. “I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.”

b.Three-fourths of the people you meet want sympathy. Give it to them and they will love you.

19. Appeal to the nobler motives

a.Example: When John D. Rockefeller wanted newspaper photographers to stop taking pictures of his children, he appealed to nobler motives. He didn’t say “I don’t want these pictures taken”, but instead, said “You know how it is, boys. You’ve got children yourselves, some of you. And you know it’s not good for youngsters to get too much publicity.”

20. Dramatize your ideasa.The truth has to be vivid, interesting, dramatic

21. Throw down a challengea. “You’re right. You probably shouldn’t take that class. Only smart

people can pass that class”.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation

a. It is always more comfortable to hear something unpleasant about ourselves after we have heard some praise about one of our good points..

23. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

a. “I’ve got to say bro, you’re looking thick, solid, tight… and if you work your legs a bit harder people will def. think you’re ripped

24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person

a.Admitting one’s own mistakes – even when one has corrected them – can help convince someone to change their behavior.

25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

a.Example: “DO THIS!” versus “You think it’d be a good idea to try this next time..?”

26. Let the other person save facea. “I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his

own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

27. Praise (пофалба) the smallest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “honest in your approval and big in your praise.”

a.Give specific praise. Not just short flattery (ласкање).

28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

a. “The average person can be led easily if you have his or her respect and if you show that you respect that person for some kind of ability.

b.If you want to improve a person in a certain characteristic, act as though that particular characteristic were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics.

29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

a.Praise someone’s good points and minimize the person’s faults. You could say something like “All it would take is a little _________ and you could be great!”

30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

a.Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do.

b.Consider the benefits the person will receive from doing what you suggest.

c.Match those benefits to the person’s wants.

d.When you make a request, put it in a form that shows the other person how they will benefit from it.