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The National Permanency ConferenceOctober 2017
Julie Flannery, Harmony Family CenterPam Frye, Harmony Family Center
Preparation for Permanency
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
TRANSform …What is it?
TRANSform is a five year demonstration grant led by Harmony Family Center that proposes to build on DCS
progress, to re-invigorate existing systems, and to build cross-system bridges that carry an increased trauma focus
and evidence-supported practice to all systems serving children in the public child wellbeing system.
“Promoting Well-Being and Adoption After Trauma”
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
*The child’s journey in custody
* What gets “broken apart”, even when we try to provide safety?
* How does each role hold a piece of Wholeness!!
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
Sense of personal
safety
Attachment relationships
Sense of self
Hope for future
Emotional regulation
Normal development
Ability to trust
TRAUMA FRAGMENTS
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
*Entry into state custody provides SAFETY, but fragments…
Daily Parenting
Family History & Traditions
Identity
Decision-making
Cutural Heritage
Sibling Relationships
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
*Emotional Fragmentation…
Love
Anger
LoyaltyConfusion
Grief
Fear
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
Trauma Informed Care changes the question from, "What's wrong with you?" to
"What happened to you?"
This is exactly what the child wants to know, and is the central issue in both
trauma-informed care and adoption preparation
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
Child’s Journey to Adoption
All children have the right…
• To understand their personal history
• To have the opportunity to grieve past losses
• To understand that the problems that led to the separation were not their fault
• To develop a positive sense of identity
• To have stability, permanency, a sense of belonging..
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
Adoption Competency - Preparing Children for Permanency: the 3-5-7 Model
Darla L. Henry
•3 TASKS (Clarification, Integration, Actualization)
•5 Conceptual Questions:
What happened to me? (Loss)Who am I? (Identity)Where am I going? (Attachment)How Will I get there? (Building Relationships)How will I know when I belong? (Claiming)
•7 critical skill elements – Am I safe enough to take this journey?
*7 Critical Elements, beginning at the beginning…
• Engage the child in the process• Listen to the child’s words• Speak the truth• Validate the child and the child’s story• Create a safe space for the child to do the work• It is never to late to go back in time• Acknowledge that pain is part of the process
“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.”Brene Brown
* CLARIFICATION: If I could get an answer to one question about myself and my life, it would be… get the answer to one question about
myself and my life, it would be …* “What happened to me when I got
beat up and people threw stuff at me?” Kenny, 8
* “Why did my parents treat me the way they did?” Sarah, 15
* “Why did they throw me away?” Steve, 12
* “Why did my mom go off and leave me?” Mia, 11
* “In 10 whole years, nobody has been able to take care of me!” Levon, 10
*CLARIFICATION
* Assisting the child to understand what “really” happened to them;
* hearing and reframing child’s view of events, being honest at the child’s developmental level;
* lifting blame from them and placing it where it belongs
* What happened to you? (the trauma question)
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
*Integration
* Acknowledging the child’s membership and emotional ties to many families, and validating that these families had meaning to the child and the child had meaning to them
* Assisting the child in dealing with loyalty conflicts regarding birth family, foster family, adoptive family
* Honoring all the people a child has loved – and allowing the child to GRIEVE.
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
*Actualization
* Visualize, practice, and experience membership in a safe, healing family
* Understand and experience family roles and begin to develop trust in new attachment relationships
* Provide support to foster and adoptive families, so that they can create a “circle of security” for their children and embrace the “whole child”
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
*Trauma Experience Integration
*Work with children to actively explore, process and integrate [past] experiences, into a coherent and comprehensive understanding of self, in order to enhance their capacity to effectively engage in
present life.
Blaustein and Kinniburgh, Treating Traumatic Stress in Children and Adolescents
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
Sense of personal safety
Trauma experiences integrated,
through therapy and parenting
Range of emotions from
love to loss acknowledged and expressed
Critical role of birth family
acknowledged and honored
Positive Identity incorporates birth family ,
experiences of belonging,
unique personal characteristics
Learning to trust and
build attachment
relationships
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
Birth Parent preparation is very important to the long-term success and the followingmust be completed:
Grief/loss counseling/therapy
Family given opportunity to share family history, photos, mementos, etc.
TPR/Surrender Discussions
Blessing letter/closure visit completed (if appropriate)
Openness plan discussed—what is the plan for the future
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
* Protective Factors for Adoptive Families
Formal & informal supports
Communicative openness
Positive parenting style
Realistic expectations & preparation
Susan Smith, Center for Adoption & Education, 2013Content Property of Harmony Family Center
WHAT PARENTS OF HURT CHILDREN REALLY NEED….
• LISTENING WITHOUT JUDGEMENT (I am not to blame for what happened to him but I am trying to be part of the healing
• UNDERSTANDING (my child looks normal on the outside but not on the inside
• RESPECTING MY PARENTING DECISIONS (I really need you to stand beside me rather than behind me
• COMPETENT SUPPORTS (Encourage creativity and hope)
Content Property of Harmony Family Center
*
• preparation starts the first day of custody• the core components of birth parent preparation, child preparation and adoptive family preparation
must all be completed for long-term success• the value of gathering, documenting and fully understanding the child's past, present and future as it
relates to permanency must never be overlooked or minimized• it is absolutely necessary to engage everyone on the child's team from the first contact so that
understanding, comprehension and acceptance can occur for the family unit to be successful throughout the permanency journey
Content Property of Harmony Family Center