Praise for · Praise forJust Ask Leadership “While I honestly wasn’t conscious of it, Gary’s notion of ‘lead-ing by asking’ nicely captures my own style. This approach cre-

Praise for Just Ask Leadership

“While I honestly wasn’t conscious of it, Gary’s notion of ‘lead-ing by asking’ nicely captures my own style. This approach cre-ates a more collegial attitude. It opens dialogue and shows respectfor those who are closer to and have responsibility for the issues.In many cases, it is also appropriate because each generationseems to be smarter than the last. As a tool, Gary’s book can raiseeveryone’s awareness of the social and intellectual power of ask-ing rather than telling.”

—Tom Pritzker, chairman, Hyatt Corporation and MarmonGroup Holdings

“Gary will help leaders on the front line be much more effective.Asking questions is not just about decision making, it is whatleaders use to lead!”

—General Jack Chain

“For innovative thinking and getting a new slant on an old prob-lem, Gary Cohen is incomparable. He brings his rich backgroundin growing a business and transforming it and himself to every-thing he does.”

—Marcy Syms, CEO, Syms Corporation

“Gary Cohen’s Just Ask approach to leadership made me ques-tion my own habit of ‘leading by example.’ Is it not more proac-tive to lead by provoking a response instead of requesting aspectator? And, is it not ultimately more productive by reactingto new solutions instead of judging redundancies?”

—Vance Van Petten, executive director, Producers Guild of America

“Gary’s concept of Just Ask leadership is new and illuminating.It is what we do as leaders. Gary has brought unconscious com-petence in the world of leadership into our consciousness.”

—Matt Wisk, president of MyPoints.com and executive vicepresident/chief marketing officer of United Online (NetZero)

“I think Gary’s Just Ask leadership approach is an insightful andunique way of looking at the leadership problem that will giveleaders a very definite way of putting positive leadership intopractice. In other words, taking your ego out of it, listening toyour people—those positive leadership attributes that I think areimportant.”

—Rear Admiral James A. Symonds, Commander of NavyRegion Northwest

“Good questions and active listening are the hallmark of greatleaders in the private, public, and non-profit sectors. GaryCohen illuminates this pathway to excellence in his new book,with real insight to what makes a question ‘good’ and what tolisten ‘for.’”

—John C. Read, president and chief executive, Outward Bound

“Peter Drucker once said, ‘There is nothing so useless as doingefficiently that which should not be done at all.’ Gary Cohen,with his theory that leaders should ask questions and not dictate,is onto something big. Leaders today need to listen to and empower staff to sift through the maze of complex yet insignificant ‘noise’ in the business world. Listening carefullyto those that touch the client is key to growing a sustainable business.”

—Alan J. Krause, president and CEO, MWH NaturalResources, Industry & Infrastructure, Inc.

“Gary’s Just Ask leadership methods work and are relatively sim-ple to implement in any organization. He teaches you how to askthe right kind of question, not the ‘let me grill you’–type ques-tion that creates barriers and ill will. If you aren’t asking ques-tions, it means you are not naturally curious—a clear sign ofsomeone mired in the past.”

—GL Hoffman, president and CEO, JobDig

“I discovered long ago that it is more important to ask the rightquestions rather than pretend that you have the right answers.Gary’s approach would result in greater employee engagementleading to better results.”

—Harsh Pati Singhania, managing director, JK Paper Limited

“What is your source of innovative ideas? Whom and how doyou ask to get the really new and insightful stuff? Gary gets it!You ask those that interface with customers or those that makestuff all day, every day. And, he has researched the most effectivequestions to ask.”

—Bill McLaughlin, chairman and CEO, Select Comfort

“This is my favorite kind of book! A fascinating way to learn howalteration in your approach to leadership can have radical effectson results. Just Ask Leadership, is a thoroughly engaging, well-researched book that has changed the way I run my business.”

—Kayle Neeley, CEO, EZ Payroll & Staffing, and former vicepresident, Norwegian Cruise Line

“Gary Cohen’s idea of ‘question-based leadership’ gets at theheart of what real leadership is all about—dropping the ego andusing the power of questioning to stimulate others to think forthemselves.”

—Audie Dunham, chief operating officer, The Arthur Group

“Gary has hit the nail on the head. For most companies, theirgreatest resource is their people. If leaders don’t ask what theyknow, a valuable corporate resource will have been wasted.”

—Steven Segal, founding partner, J.W. Childs Associates

“Gary’s Just Ask techniques empower employees to manage theirown destiny, which empowers managers to become leaders. Man-aging my staff used to be like herding cats, but thanks to Gary’s JustAsk methodology, I now find myself at the head of a pack of tigers.”

—Ken Clark, founder/CEO, 1–800-Translate

“I have found Gary’s Just Ask approach to be a very effectiveway to help others assume responsibility and free myself to focuson the areas that truly require my attention. This approach hashelped elevate thinking throughout our organization, includingmy own.”

—Matt Van Slooten, president, Carlson Real Estate Company

“Gary’s unique style of probing the most basic human behaviorssets him apart from many management gurus. He forces intro-spection, gets results, and motivates as few can. If you’re reallyready to examine your leadership style, this book is for you!”

—Gary F. Beck, vice president, Direct and Database MarketingCentex Homes

“Just Ask, applies to schools as well as businesses. Administra-tors can empower teachers and teachers can empower studentssimply by asking thoughtful, open-ended questions.”

—Arne Duncan, United States Secretary of Education

“Just Ask Leadership, is today’s version of Napoleon Hill’s Thinkand Grow Rich.”

—Marshall Besikof, CPA, JD, LLM Partner, Lurie, Besikof,Lapidus & Company, LLP

“Just Ask Leadership’s strengths lie in its straightforward, unpre-tentious usefulness. It’s a solid manual in a field that attracts alot of gimmicky pretenders. . . . The questions are sound, and theapproach is reassuring in its avoidance of any high-flown over-sell. My first impression is of good principles usefully illustratedby someone who knows what he’s talking about.”

—Ben Dunlap, president, Wofford College (Spartanburg, SC)

“Just Ask Leadership integrates a number of key elements whichare often not integrated in books of this nature (i.e. values,vision, asking the right questions). I found the examples from

high-profile leaders to be more illuminating than inspiring, andI was happy with this.”

—Ted Love, CEO, Nuvelo, Inc.

“I really like the specific examples that can be easily translatedto business, volunteer and social/family situations. I like the shortsections—excellent for a quick airplane or evening read withoutfeeling like you have to complete the entire book or start overonce you pick it up again. I also like how Just Ask can be appliedto a broad cross-section in the organization—middle-manage-ment to leadership.”

—Cindy Chandler, CEO, Chandler Group

“This is a leadership style with tremendous potential. The JustAsk method can have a profound effect on improving morale andmake an organization more responsive as a whole. I also believeit would have a positive effect on staffing and training.”

—Michael Chwastiak, founder, Blue Boulder

“Gary’s vision is clear, simple, and compelling. The notion of ask-ing as an alternative, or perhaps evolution from answering ques-tions resonates and I think emphasizes something new in thebusiness psyche.”

—David Cronin, VP, American Express

“Leaders are often too tolerant of their own failures, and intol-erant of others’. Just Ask Leadership helps leaders know whenand how much to trust their coworkers. Cohen understands thatto learn and grow, we all must have the opportunity to fail. Hetakes a long-term view of leadership that’s refreshing and, in lightof recent leadership failures at some of the nation’s biggest com-panies, much needed.”

—Tom Oreck, chairman, Oreck Corporation

This page intentionally left blank

just askleadershipwhy great Managers Always

Ask the Right Questions

New York Chicago San Francisco Lisbon LondonMadrid Mexico City Milan New Delhi San Juan

Seoul Singapore Sydney Toronto

a

gary b . cohen

Copyright © 2009 by The McGraw-Hill Companies. All rights reserved. Except as permittedunder the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced ordistributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without theprior written permission of the publisher.

ISBN: 978-0-07-163914-9

MHID: 0-07-163914-4

The material in this eBook also appears in the print version of this title: ISBN: 978-0-07-162177-9,MHID: 0-07-162177-6.

All trademarks are trademarks of their respective owners. Rather than put a trademark symbolafter every occurrence of a trademarked name, we use names in an editorial fashion only, and tothe benefit of the trademark owner, with no intention of infringement of the trademark. Wheresuch designations appear in this book, they have been printed with initial caps.

McGraw-Hill eBooks are available at special quantity discounts to use as premiums and sales promotions, or for use in corporate training programs. To contact a representative please e-mailus at [email protected].

TERMS OF USE

This is a copyrighted work and The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. (“McGraw-Hill”) and its licensors reserve all rights in and to the work. Use of this work is subject to these terms. Exceptas permitted under the Copyright Act of 1976 and the right to store and retrieve one copy of thework, you may not decompile, disassemble, reverse engineer, reproduce, modify, create derivativeworks based upon, transmit, distribute, disseminate, sell, publish or sublicense the work or anypart of it without McGraw-Hill’s prior consent. You may use the work for your own noncommer-cial and personal use; any other use of the work is strictly prohibited. Your right to use the workmay be terminated if you fail to comply with these terms.

THE WORK IS PROVIDED “AS IS.” McGRAW-HILL AND ITS LICENSORS MAKE NOGUARANTEES OR WARRANTIES AS TO THE ACCURACY, ADEQUACY OR COMPLETE-NESS OF OR RESULTS TO BE OBTAINED FROM USING THE WORK, INCLUDING ANYINFORMATION THAT CAN BE ACCESSED THROUGH THE WORK VIA HYPERLINK OROTHERWISE, AND EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ANY WARRANTY, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED,INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITYOR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. McGraw-Hill and its licensors do not warrantor guarantee that the functions contained in the work will meet your requirements or that its oper-ation will be uninterrupted or error free. Neither McGraw-Hill nor its licensors shall be liable toyou or anyone else for any inaccuracy, error or omission, regardless of cause, in the work or forany damages resulting therefrom. McGraw-Hill has no responsibility for the content of any infor-mation accessed through the work. Under no circumstances shall McGraw-Hill and/or its licensors be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, punitive, consequential or similar damagesthat result from the use of or inability to use the work, even if any of them has been advised ofthe possibility of such damages. This limitation of liability shall apply to any claim or cause whatsoever whether such claim or cause arises in contract, tort or otherwise.

Contents

Foreword xiAcknowledgments xvIntroduction 1

CHAPTER 1 Improve Vision—Gaining Insight from All Levels of the Organization 9

CHAPTER 2 Ensure Accountability—Increasing Team and Organization-Wide Performance 43

CHAPTER 3 Build Unity and Cooperation—Creating aCulture of Trust 69

CHAPTER 4 Create Better Decisions—Getting the Right Answers by Asking the RightQuestions 111

CHAPTER 5 Motivate to Action—Asking for Success 161

Afterword 191Index 197

a ix


FOREWORD

All good families have their epic stories, and the onemy mother tells to every new guest in her Oregon

home is “Young Harry’s First Day of School.”When I slogged into our cramped kitchen after that

first fall day in Mrs. Michaels’ almost-as-cramped class-room, my mother naturally asked, “So what did youlearn today, Harry?” I startled her with my reply.

“Nothing, mom,” I said. “The teacher talked all the time.”

Fortunately, part of what I learned, in school and awayfrom it, is we overrate talking and misunderstand listen-ing. You see that made vivid in those Fortune magazinecorporate advertisements for companies who decide theymust convince the world that they are “solution providers”by stressing their new theme, “We listen.”

My work has convinced me that the creators of theseads misunderstand listening. Yes, listening helps youunderstand what others need. But the great successescome not from giving people what they want but fromproviding them with something they never could haveimagined—iTunes, traveler’s checks, and instant cashmachines being three vivid examples.

No, people—clients and employees—value listeningnot because you will absorb what they hear and answertheir need. They value listening for the act alone: being

a xi

listened to makes them feel valued, and we treasure thatfeeling, as suggested by Richard Most: “The greatest giftyou can give is the purity of your attention.”

That helps explains why the man behind this book iswell liked. When people talk, Gary listens. And becauseof how he listens—with all of himself, nonjudgmentally,gently—he encourages you to say what you couldn’t, orhadn’t, or wouldn’t. And that points you in directionsyou never would have headed without him. Gary helpsyou see what you missed and achieve what you wouldhave missed.

Although this appears to be a business book, it willenrich all of your life. Become a better manager and youwill become a better parent, husband, and steward ofyour community, because those you manage are just likethose whom you raise and live with: they are people, andwhat people love does not change when they cross thethreshold into an office.

In business, Gary’s approach has so many benefits thatit’s startling it’s not used universally. Workers who,coaxed toward a solution of their own making, forexample, feel a sense of authorship. They take responsi-bility and follow through; they work better and later.And at the end, they feel a pride of accomplishment thatmakes them more productive and motivated the nexttime, and on and on in the most virtuous of cycles.

Which brings me to Calvin Coolidge.Before a dinner party that Coolidge was to attend, a

woman bet her best friend that the president would say

=xii

Just Ask Leadership

at least three words that evening. As the cake was beingserved, Coolidge had yet to speak. Fearful of losing herbet, the woman left her chair and approached his, bentover, cupped her hand, and whispered to him, “I bet Abigail that you would say at least three words tonight,Mr. President. What do you say?”

He replied, “You lose.”Yet this man who spoke so infrequently considered

these words so vital that he left them to posterity: Noone ever listened himself out of a job. He knew that peo-ple love listeners, value listeners, learn from listeners—and that they learn even more from us. But how can youlisten even better, and reap all these rewards? You canstart right now: stop listening to me, and start listeningto this wonderful little book.

—Harry Beckwith

=xiii

Foreword

To Chris, Sammi, and Ali

Acknowledgments

Iam not the likeliest candidate to write a book. Severelearning challenges have always made writing difficult

for me. I became so frustrated and dispirited in gradeschool that my mother hired a tutor, Pat Zimmerman, toassist me. I owe a debt of gratitude to my mother andPat, as well as two helpful teachers, Craig Falkman andSue Merriman. They encouraged me to push my waythrough challenges, put my thoughts down on paper, andlean on others to maximize my talents.

I am all for challenges, but a book seemed too big aproject for me to “push through.” At his cabin one after-noon, Bill McLaughlin (CEO of Select Comfort) con-vinced me otherwise. He said that I needed to write thismyself. He couldn’t have been more right and, in a way,completely wrong.

The words here are largely my own, but it has becomea much bigger collaboration than I ever anticipated. I amespecially indebted to all the leaders who shared theirstories with me. I accumulated hundreds of hours ofinterviews on tape. Each of these leaders’ stories becameanother stitch in the mosaic of this book (even if not allare overtly mentioned), and these leaders convinced meof the vitality and validity of question-based leadership.

a xv

This book never would have come together, though, ifI didn’t have an amazing family to lean on. Chris and thegirls, Ali and Sammi, kept me rooted. Chris gave me thespace and time to work, and was my inspirationthroughout. The three of them had to put up with a slug-gish husband, dad, and friend through some longstretches, and they helped me find ways to recharge.Together, we push and support each other, always.

My friends who helped are numerous, and somedeserve special mention: my business partner of 18 yearsand close friend, Rick Diamond; our wonderful COODana Olson; and Senior Vice President Lois Dirksen, whowas my left and right arm at ACI and remains a dearfriend. Together, we learned and shared so much—fromeach other, our mentors, and through trial and error(sorry about some of those trials and errors, by the way!).

Thanks also to my friends Kayle Neeley, Marcy Syms,David Rochlin, and Phil Levin, who helped me sortthrough the ideas and concepts that appear in these pages.I deeply value our ongoing conversations and friendship.I feel similarly about Scott Richards, who sadly passedaway last year, but whose presence is still felt.

I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my clients, who have trusted me in helping them and their organizationsgrow, and for their contributions to the Just Ask leader-ship model.

Harry Beckwith deserves a huge thank you as well, forhis willingness to write the foreword and his insightful

=xvi

Just Ask Leadership

comments on drafts of the book. He is one of the world’sbest copywriters, and I am fortunate to count him as afriend. I will forever remember his advice: “The true costto readers is not the price of the book, but the price oftheir time.” I have tried to honor that advice on everypage of this book.

I am perhaps most grateful to Harry for introducingme to Eric Vrooman, who worked with Harry on his firstbook, Selling the Invisible. Eric helped me organize andedit all the written material I generated for this book. Henot only preserved my voice throughout, but also helpedclarify my thoughts. I was proud, but not surprised,when the senior editors at McGraw-Hill expressed theiramazement at how clean our draft was when it arrived!

I also had the privilege of working with David Brake,the CEO of the Content Connections. He and his staff(Holly McAllister, in particular) provided us with focusgroups and sophisticated response technology, so that wecould ask readers what they wanted and how we did atdelivering against those wants. Just Ask received bettergrades and reviews than all but one of the bestsellers thatwe were matched up against, but thanks to David and hisstaff (and all the wonderful input from readers), the bookis now vastly improved.

David worked with John Larson at Bright HouseAgency to get my book in front of the largest and bestpublishers in the world. The deal would not have hap-pened without either of them.

=xvii

Acknowledgments

I want to thank Mary Glenn for her fierce determina-tion to make this a great book and for putting up withall of my questions! Even though it wasn’t the top pickfor her or her team (or for me, for that matter), Maryagreed to name the book Just Ask Leadership becausethat was the consensus pick of hundreds of early read-ers. Thank you, Mary and readers, for believing in andhelping to shape this project.

I have learned so much from the brilliant leaders I inter-viewed. Many of them have since spoken to me abouthow awareness of their own questioning style has helpedimprove them as leaders. With their encouragement, Iforged a partnership with Brian Ferro and Keith Moricalto develop the Just Ask Leadership training course and aunique Leadership 360 assessment tool (which can befound at www.justaskleadership.com). I would be remissif I didn’t thank Brian and Keith for their terrific andvisionary contributions as well.

The spirit of asking, and the process, have opened meup to so many new people and ideas, and I am extremelygrateful for that.

=xviii

Just Ask Leadership

www.justaskleadership.com

INTRODUCTION

Would you rather be asked for your input or toldwhat to do?

Good questions generate thought, focus, and actionfrom the listener. They also convey respect. Maybe that’swhy 95 percent of leaders prefer to be asked questionsrather than told what to do. And yet, according to a sur-vey I conducted, these same leaders give instructions 58 percent of the time rather than asking coworkers fortheir input!

It’s time for leaders to practice the type of leadershipthey most prefer themselves. If you want to lead andmotivate others, questions are the answer.

I don’t envision John F. Kennedy jumping onto hisdesk and telling everyone what to do during the Bay ofPigs. I imagine him asking his well-informed cabinet,“What do you think should be done?”

Leaders can’t know everything—they couldn’t in the1960s, and they can’t today. Especially not today. Infor-mation accumulates at such a rapid pace, and there areso many ways to access information, that our cowork-ers routinely know more about their work than we do.

If we tell our coworkers how to do their jobs, we areessentially limiting their options and stifling their initia-tive. We’re not leading.

a 1

I grew up in a family of question askers. My grandfa-ther cofounded Ellen Kaye Laboratories, the companythat developed and produced Final Net Hair Spray (thefirst hair fixative to use a pump, not an aerosol bottle,thereby reducing ozone depletion). He often said, “Ideasare twenty-five cents a dozen. It’s the person that runsall the way with one that succeeds.” He valued workerswho put ideas through a tough questioning process, ashe did. His favorite question: “How will we hold off thebank a little longer?”

My mother was a psychotherapist and, prior to that,owned a chain of women’s wear stores. Whether she wasnegotiating a conflict between sales personnel or listen-ing to a client describe compulsive eating episodes, shefound that one question brought clarity: “What is thepurpose of their behavior?” Today, as an artist, she asks,“What do I wish to convey?”

My father was a top sales executive, representing JohnMeyer’s upscale women’s wear for 17 years. He askeddepartment store buyers, “What other clothing lines areyou showing?” to assess how much their customers werewilling to spend. Once he had a sense of the buyer’svision, he presented options that filled several gaps. Hecustomized his pitch based upon the buyer’s needs, nothis own preferences.

Questions served a different purpose for me. I sufferedfrom a learning disability diagnosed in third grade, cre-ating a wall that kept me from accessing knowledge in

=2

Just Ask Leadership

the same way other kids could. Asking questions becamemy way of getting around not knowing the answers.Despite my struggles, classmates came to me to discusstheir problems and share successes. When this patterncontinued through college, I grew more conscious of theconnection between asking questions and leading others.

Thoughtful and open-ended questions often triggerunexpected connections. As an intern for Jim Ramstad,a Minnesota state senator, I had difficulties respondingto constituents’ mail due to my learning challenge. WhenI asked Jim, “What kind of meaningful legislation couldI work on instead?” he suggested drunk-driving reform.Rather than type letters, I made inquiry calls. I askedinvested organizations, “If you could create a law regard-ing drunk driving, what would it be?” The result was abill that representatives from MADD (Mothers AgainstDrunk Drivers), local detoxification centers, and thesheriff’s department all supported—one that made bothJim and me proud.

After college, my childhood friend Rick Diamond andI pooled $4,000 and began a two-person business intelecommunications. In a relatively short amount oftime, we had over 2,200 employees and more than 20Fortune 500 clients. Question asking was the pillar ofour success. Rick and I could never know or do every-thing. We depended on the knowledge and expertise ofthose we led. When we didn’t know, which was often,we asked.

=3

Introduction

I fought my ego constantly. If you’re like me, your egopropelled you into leadership. You used your creativityand resourcefulness to meet objectives—a reduction ofresources, for example, or an increase in revenue. Youasked questions only to accomplish a specific task. Ingeneral, however, your ego discouraged you from askingquestions and disliked following orders. Egos want toachieve—on their own.

Egos also crave recognition. With each success, yourcareer has progressed and your standing in the organiza-tion or community has grown. Your ego has grown, too.You tend to ask fewer questions and provide moreanswers. After all, others—even your boss, perhaps—cometo you as an oracle. You likely feel, and are, in control.

Here’s the paradox: egos can vault you into a leader-ship position, but as a leader you now must set your egoaside and relinquish control.

As a leader, your career advancement is no longer task-dependent. Leadership is about allowing others the chanceto flourish. You advance as a leader only when you placeyour coworkers’ egos above your own. And you do that,and convey that, by asking questions.

Four-star general Jack Chain is a true leader. When heserved as a staff officer in the Pentagon, his 10-year-olddaughter asked him, “What do you do?” He thought fora minute and said, “I answer questions.” Later, when hemade commander, his daughter asked how his new rolewould be different.

=4

Just Ask Leadership

His response: “Now I ask the questions.”Now you should, too. That’s the message of this

book: “Just ask.” Here you will learn not only specificquestions to ask in certain contexts but also how toimplement question-based leadership as a whole. Restassured, I won’t ask you to play a character named“Leader” or require you to memorize lists. You will cer-tainly not be expected to imitate Jack Welch or Gandhi.I want to help you lead authentically, and I have takengreat care in making this book work for you ratherthan you for it.

By asking questions and empowering your cowork-ers, you will reap the benefits of their productivity andcreativity. When everybody has a hand in an organiza-tion’s decisions and future, their work is produced withthe richness of a live performance. They improvise solu-tions when mistakes happen and respond to feedback.In addition, the more decision makers you have, themore likely faulty assumptions will be uncovered andamended.

The right question can empower, inspire, and chal-lenge—both you and your coworkers. After all, open-ended questions engage the responder and the asker.They enable both to work together toward an uncertainand exciting end.

The chapter entries are short and center around realstories from some of this country’s best leaders. When Iset out to write this book, I didn’t presume to have all the

=5

Introduction

answers, so I asked. I interviewed almost one hundredhighly effective leaders—religious leaders, Fortune 500CEOs, small business owners, military commanders,heads of nonprofits, and so on. I asked them how theyused questions to inform their strategic decisions. I askedthem to describe various business and management sce-narios and walk me through the kinds of questioningstrategies that they felt were both effective and ineffec-tive. I asked them how questions could make their organ-izations more competitive, more profitable, and betterplaces to work.

These leaders don’t equate asking questions with notknowing the answers. They don’t believe that the onlypurpose in asking a question is to find an answer. Theyknow that questions lead to fresh ideas, committedaction, and the creation of a new rank of leaders.

You will get the benefit of their expertise throughoutthis book. You will also benefit from the input of earlyreaders. Before submitting the manuscript to publishers,I invited readers to provide feedback in the form of sur-veys and focus groups. Based on this feedback, I cut anentire chapter, reorganized the table of contents, changedthe title, and wrote entries to fulfill specific requests forcontent.

While most of the stories here come from the businesscommunity, you don’t have to be a CEO to be a leader.Parents can be terrific leaders. So can soccer coaches. So can volunteers or temporary workers. Question-based leadership is valuable and appreciated in all

=6

Just Ask Leadership

spheres. The more you practice it, the more applicationsyou’ll find.

I promise that by the time you reach the end of thebook, you will be asking more and better questions.Most importantly, your need to tell will decline as youincreasingly recognize the limitless power of asking.

=7

Introduction

The leader of the past was a person who knew how to

tell. The leader of the future will be a person who

knows how to ask.

—Peter Drucker

a 9

aC h a p t e r 1

Improve Vision—GainingInsight from All Levelsof the Organization

Questions can help us to see ourselves, coworkers, andorganizations more clearly. In this chapter, you will

learn to put your values and goals to the test with ques-tions. Be sure to align these individual values and goalswith the organization’s on a regular basis. Your organiza-tion’s culture and stability can be compromised, especiallywhen new people are being hired, if you and other lead-ers don’t communicate a unified vision. But once thatvision has been established, focus on achieving long-termgoals and spend less time managing short-term crises.

1. What are my values?

2. Are my values in alignment with the four corehuman drives?

3. Are our values as strong as our profits?

4. Is there a gap between our stated values and ouroperating values?

5. What is our organization’s culture?

6. Are my coworkers aware of the importance oftheir work?

7. How true are the stories we tell?

8. Are job performance measures aligned with ourorganization’s goals?

9. How can we outrun the competition?

10. Why is it my job to explore the unexplored?

11. How would I feel if this issue made the frontpage of the newspaper?

12. Am I a decision maker or goal achiever?

13. Am I leading into the future or am I managingthe present?

14. What is my guiding question?

15. Is our organization asking the right question?

16. Who will be my successor?

17. How do I hire someone who will excel in ourorganization’s culture?

18. If we hire this person, what should we expect?

Improve Vision #1:

What are my values?

Values drive our behavior, and yet most people don’t cat-alog and rank their values—at least not explicitly. Sowhen their values come into conflict with one another,

=10

Just Ask Leadership

they make rash decisions, allow themselves to be influ-enced by others, or fail to act.

Isolate and weigh your values now, when you’re notunder duress. (Note: You can do so for free at www.ceotest.com). In the future, you’ll be more prepared to makequick, confident decisions and defend your position. Moreimportantly, you’ll know what your position is.

Suppose you learn that one of your coworkers lied onher résumé. In fact, she lied not only about her job titlebut also about her salary and the length of time sheworked at a particular job. You learn about this lie whentalking to her former employer at a trade show. The dis-covery takes you completely by surprise. After all, thisperson has worked for you for three years and done anoutstanding job as vice president of sales, outperformingher two predecessors. To the best of your knowledge,she’s been honest with you during her tenure, and you’vegrown to think of her as a friend. So, what should youdo about the falsified résumé?

Without knowing your core values, you will be forcedto make a decision while being clouded by emotionalbias. You might be so emotionally enmeshed that you failto make a decision and just let the matter slide. After all,any number of values might be coming into conflict: fel-lowship, loyalty, forgiveness, wealth creation, honesty,integrity, consistency, and so on.

If you previously ranked your values, you’ll be pre-pared to handle this complicated scenario. If fellowship,loyalty, forgiveness, and wealth creation are of greatervalue to you than honesty, integrity, or consistency, then

=11

Improve Vision—Gaining Insight from All Levels of the Organization

www.ceotest.com

www.ceotest.com

your decision is clear. You’ll keep her. If not, you mustlet this coworker go. If you’ve been clear about your val-ues all along, this coworker and friend will respect yourdecision, and you’ll sleep easier.

Once you’ve done the hard work of ranking your val-ues, you’ll see life through a new lens. Your relationshipswill improve. Your family, friends, and coworkers willsense and benefit from the clarity you will then have.They will come to know you better as a person and trustyou to make decisions that are consistent with the val-ues you espouse. And you will see them differently, too.You will have a better understanding of how your val-ues overlap with theirs and where they diverge.

Improve Vision #2:

Are my values in alignment with thefour core human drives?

In Driven: How Human Nature Shapes Our Choices(Jossey-Bass, 2002), two eminent Harvard professors,Paul R. Lawrence and Nitin Nohria, identify four corehuman drives:

• The drive to acquire stems from the basic humaninstinct to survive. It can be seen in our efforts togather food, status, and power.

• The drive to bond is based on our need to connectwith others for reproduction, social interaction,sharing/trading, and protection from predators.

=12

Just Ask Leadership

• The drive to learn allows us to accumulate andtransmit knowledge from generation togeneration. This is where we develop our beliefsabout how the world works or ought to work—ideologies, in other words (something thatdistinguishes humans from animals).

• The fourth drive, to defend, protects us fromenvironmental risks by encouraging us towardfight or flight. In many ways, it takes intoaccount all the other drives since we are called todefend not only our bodies but also ourpossessions, power, relationships, knowledge,and ideologies.

While these four drives often work synergistically, oneor more can dominate. And, as with values, our drivescan come into conflict. If there is limited food after ashipwreck, for instance, would your drive to bond withsurvivors impel you to share the food, or would yourdrive to acquire and survive supersede it?

Naturally, our drives are connected to our values. Wesettle on our values, in large part, based upon our needsto acquire, bond, learn, and defend. Examine your corevalues. Are all four drives represented in your choices?If not, reflect on the drive(s) not being satisfied and con-sider whether or not it points toward an unbalancedapproach to your life. To be balanced doesn’t mean thateach drive has an equal and corresponding number ofvalues. These drives have an innate desire to be met,

=13


however. If you’re ignoring one, the situation bears someinvestigation and, perhaps, a realignment of your values.

Think of your prioritized values as a constitution. Tryyour best to live up to the spirit of them, but don’t getcaught up in constantly defending your position to your-self or others. Constitutions are, by their nature, some-what elastic. Give yourself permission to be kind so thatyou and others aren’t overwhelmed with shame andanger when acting in opposition to your values.

For example, if someone calls you a liar—and honesty,integrity, authenticity or trust are some of your core val-ues—your first reaction will likely come from your driveto defend. After all, if you don’t defend your core value,your self-image will suffer. Before you fly into full battlemode, ask yourself, “Have I ever lied?” If the answer isyes, then you are, in fact, a liar. Accept that you and oth-ers do lie on occasion but that you do your best to liveup to the spirit of your values. Rather than counterattackyour accuser, take it as an opportunity to illustrate howyou employ your values in your daily life and explainhow exceptions to your behavior don’t rest easy with you.

Improve Vision #3:

Are our values as strong as our profits?

Are you willing to lose money or let your organizationfail in order to maintain your values?

Marketing Architects purchases blocks of radio timeand fills them with direct-response advertising. This

=14

Just Ask Leadership

Minneapolis company’s goal is to have its annual rev-enue become its net profits four years later. The companyalso believes in standing by its values, one of which is“the consistent development of strong, structured andknowledge-based relationships in every aspect.”

When the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001—9/11—hit, the entire advertising community trembled.Many companies reneged on their advertising commit-ments or pulled a high percentage of their ads off theair. Chuck Hengel, chairman and CEO of MarketingArchitects, asked his team, “Should we cut back on ourpurchases?”

The response back was unanimous: “No. Business asusual.” Team members felt a moral imperative to stickby their commitments and clients, and their value ofmaintaining strong relationships. Marketing Architectsnot only honored its agreements to purchase air timefrom large national radio networks, the company offeredto offset its clients’ shortfalls because of lower-than-expected response rates! When the networks and Mar-keting Architects’ clients heard this news, they couldn’tcontain their disbelief and gratitude; some of them liter-ally cried on the other end of the line.

In the aftermath of 9/11 more people listened to radiothan before, and the response rates went through theroof. Rather than covering shortfalls, Marketing Archi-tects “printed money” for its clients. The firm stuck byits values and was handsomely rewarded. Of course, theoutcome could have been different. The company’s

=15


honor and integrity would likely have been rewardeddown the line, though—even if their actions had resultedin considerable short-term losses.

Once the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) liftedthe air travel ban that went into effect immediately fol-lowing the attacks from the air on 9/11, MarketingArchitects sent its sales force out to increase marketshare. Proud of their value-driven decisions, salespeopledidn’t have trouble securing new accounts. No surprise:People want to do business with honorable partners.

Don’t choose profits over values. Choose values andtrust that profits will follow. Ask, “What’s the right thingto do?” and let the answer determine your course ofaction.

Improve Vision #4:

Is there a gap between our statedvalues and our operating values?

“Organizations must distinguish between stated values,those that hang on the wall, and operating values, thosethat are acted upon every day,” says John Foley, CEOand founder of LEVEL, a brand and reputation firm. Heurges organizations to align these values because of themassive impact a discrepancy can have on their brandand because it’s the right thing to do.

Not every organization has stated values, but they allhave operating values. Decisions are made every day byyour coworkers, based upon their own values and their

=16

Just Ask Leadership

perception of the organization’s values. They are keenlyaware of how hard others are working, for instance, andwhether or not their coworkers are respectful of theorganization’s mission, customers, and workplace.

The more explicit the organization’s values, the morelikely people will share and organize around them. Haveyou ever noticed how some organizations keep workerslonger and make them happier (even without advance-ment opportunities or substantial pay increases)?Chances are that it’s because the operating values are inline with the organization’s stated values.

If you’re happy with the operating values of yourorganization, make them explicit. Make them the statedvalues, and watch your brand/organization coalescearound them. If you’re not happy with your organiza-tion’s operating values, it will take longer for a positiveculture to take shape.

If you haven’t done so already, ask everyone in theorganization:

• Who are we?

• What values do we possess?

• How do we want to behave?

Most organizations only involve the senior team inanswering such questions and then later ask why peopleare behaving counter to those values. Don’t make thismistake. If you want your coworkers to stay longer thanthe national average (2.7 years), make them part of theprocess.

=17


Once critical mass has been achieved, the company’svalues will soak into its very fabric and new hires willabsorb them, too.

Improve Vision #5:

What is our organization’s culture?

Humans live in the frozen tundra, deserts, massive cities,and tropical islands. As they adapt to their particularenvironments, they join together to secure their safetyand prosperity. They form social contracts—agreementsabout the rights and duties of each individual.

Over time, as individuals, families, and tribes bandtogether and the social contract strengthens, a cultureemerges—a term that encompasses not only values butalso shared beliefs, characteristics, and behavior.

Anthropologists often consider themselves “value neu-tral” as it relates to observing cultures. I can’t make thisclaim. There are organizational cultures that work effec-tively and those that don’t.

At United Parcel Service (UPS), drivers are taught howto stop, unbuckle, and start moving out of the truck allat the same time—a process that saves the company mil-lions of dollars. By installing global positioning systems(GPS) in its trucks, the company has reduced idle timeconsiderably, again resulting in huge savings. UPS trucksdrove 2.5 billion miles in 2006, so reducing fuel con-sumption must be a centerpiece of the company’s culture,and it is. This is an ever-improving culture at work.

=18

Just Ask Leadership

According to John Lilly, a 20-year veteran at Procter& Gamble who had responsibilities for over 30 differentconsumer brands, questions were seen as an opportunityto “explore possibilities.” “We would look at a productand ask question after question, ‘What if . . . ?’” In thatculture, pride didn’t get in the way of greater explo-ration. He and his colleagues used questions to improvetheir own work habits and the company’s products.

When he became CEO of Pillsbury, John found thatthe company had a considerably more competitive andless cooperative culture. Questions were used to catchsomeone off-guard or unprepared, and in doing so,enhance the status of the asker. Because of the pride theyinvested in their work, Pillsbury workers took offense atsuch questions. Of course, this led to more insular behav-ior and a spirit of distrust.

Cultures develop, intentionally or unintentionally, sodon’t leave this matter to chance. Ask yourself the fol-lowing questions:

• What is our organization’s culture?

• Is our culture in alignment with our industry?

• Is our culture in alignment with the organization’smission and vision?

• Is our culture open to questions?

In Leadership on the Line: Staying Alive through theDangers of Leading (Harvard Business School Press, 2002),Ronald A. Heifetz and Martin Linsky discuss at length howhard it can be to effect cultural change. Organizations can

=19


slide into parental hierarchies, especially when rules aren’tclearly defined. Workers come to “Mom” and “Dad” forpermission to move forward. But when questions are mov-ing upward in your organization, not downward, the cul-ture is bound to suffer. Questions should provide authorityand power, not stand for permission.

It takes time to change any culture, and rarely doespositive change occur without the bell-ringing endorse-ment of the leader. But once instigated, a strong organi-zational culture can be a dynamic, mountain-movingforce—communicating and perpetuating a set of sharedvalues, beliefs, and behavior.

Improve Vision #6:

Are my coworkers aware of theimportance of their work?

Your legacy shouldn’t just be a bronze sculpture in thelobby. It should be present in the air, in the culture, longafter you’re gone.

If you want to be remembered positively, you mustensure that the organization’s values and behavior align.When they don’t, you need to ask:

• What is causing this gap?

• What is the conversation we’re not having?

• What can we do to solve this problem?

According to Mike Harper, former CEO of ConAgra,cultural change won’t happen by ordering people to

=20

Just Ask Leadership

comply with the organization’s values. Everyone mustbuy into these values individually. And leaders can onlyaccomplish this by conversing with coworkers on anindividual level.

Mike takes preemptive measures to make sure thatgaps between values and behavior don’t occur. Herecounted for me a conversation he had with quality con-trol inspectors on a bacon packaging line. These inspec-tors made sure that every pack of bacon met weight,color, and thickness specifications. He asked, “Whathappens if you don’t do your jobs well?” The inspectorsplayed out scenarios—customers getting ill, potentiallawsuits, bad word of mouth, fewer repeat buyers, gro-cery stores not carrying their product, and so on. WhenMike asked, “You know you have the most importantjob in the plant, right?” these inspectors knew he meantit. If they let the quality slip, even a little, the future ofthe entire company was in jeopardy.

Are your coworkers aware of the importance of theirwork? Are you? The more you recognize the importanceof others, the more your organization’s values and behav-ior will align, and the greater the legacy you will leave.

Improve Vision #7:

How true are the stories we tell?

We all have a unique perspective based upon our per-sonal history, beliefs, values, behaviors, culture, and lan-guage. Our perspective takes the form of stories, which

=21


we craft to explain our successes and failures. In littleleague, we often struck out because we didn’t have bat-ting gloves and our coach didn’t throw us curveballs inpractice. These sorts of stories are usually a combinationof subjective truth and fantasy. The more we tell them toourselves, though, the harder it is for us to distinguishtruth from fantasy. They crystallize into memory.

All our bodies’ cells, including brain cells, regenerateevery seven years, but our memories outlast them. If ourmemories are so stubborn, is it any wonder that we are,too? We cling tightly to the stories we’ve gathered andformulated. In essence, they are us.

We defend our stories vigorously in part because, as aunique blend of emotion and logic, they are hard toexplain. We also have an investment in keeping some ofthem buried. If they’re unearthed, then we might have toadmit failure and revisit decisions we’ve made based onfaulty logic. Exposing these stories, however, allows usto grow and develop perspectives that are groundedmore in truth than fantasy.

It takes a culture of trust to get members of your organ-ization to reveal what they believe and why they believeit. We must feel safe if we are to reveal our emotionallycharged stories. For this reason, any gaining-perspectivequestion you ask you must be willing to answer as well.

Here are a few examples of gaining-perspectivequestions:

What responsibilities or daily tasks are you tied to,and why?

=22

Just Ask Leadership

What thoughts are triggered when you hear theword fear?

Why did you react so strongly to the speech ourCEO gave?

What keeps you up at night?

What is the story behind the value you hold mostdearly?

The stories we tell to ourselves and others aren’talways accurate. Be prepared to question their underpin-nings—memories that may, in fact, be decades old andin desperate need of revisiting.

To ensure safety—your own and that of others—besure to qualify these gaining-perspective questions bysaying that you are seeking only professionally relatedresponses, not personal ones.

Improve Vision #8:

Are job performance measures alignedwith our organization’s goals?

I asked Robert Fry, former executive vice president ofL.L. Bean, “What is the single most powerful questionyou’ve ever been asked in your career?” The answercame to him immediately, but before he shared it, he pro-vided the context.

His company measured everything, which is a fairlystandard practice for companies that have grown up inthe direct marketing industry (e.g., catalog, direct mail,

=23


call center, Web). But when an outside consultant asked,“What are the top two or three key measurements toknow that you’re reaching your goals?” the executivecommittee fell silent. According to Bob, “As you lookedaround the table you could sense a fear of not knowing.Each of us had plenty of key performance indicators inour departments, but none that as a company we couldall agree on were the most important. It was totallyshocking how a company this well organized and plannedcould be stumped by such a straightforward question.”

The meeting wasn’t a total loss. With the consultant’sassistance, the executive committee hammered out whatthe top three key indicators ought to be: sales per cata-log, return on investment, and business expenses as apercent of net sales.

Just because you’ve got your goals and budget in placedoesn’t mean you’re done with strategic planning. Makesure that everyone is managing toward the same organ-ization-wide goals. Not only will it help managers prior-itize job performance measures, it will also help unify thewhole organization.

Improve Vision #9:

How can we outrun the competition?

My business partner, Rick Diamond, CEO of ACI, has asaying over his desk that he got from Ted Deikel, formerCEO and chairman of Fingerhut Corporation. It says:

=24

Just Ask Leadership

Every day in Africa a gazelle wakes up.It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or itwill be killed.Every morning a lion wakes up.It knows that it must outrun the slowest gazelle or itwill starve to death.It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle.When the sun comes up, you better be running.

–Abe Gubegna, Ethiopia, circa 1974

Rick and I had no prior experience in the call centerindustry, so when we woke up in the morning, we knewwe had to do at least one thing better than our compe-tition; otherwise, our company would starve. We askedourselves, “How can we outrun the competition? Howcan we improve upon what they do?”

We first narrowed our focus. How could we reducethe amount of dead time our call center operators spenton the phone? This question prompted us to seek thetechnology called “predictive dialing,” which was beingused in the collections industry. Predictive dialing even-tually became the call center industry standard, but notbefore little ACI grew from two employees to 2,200.This technology predicted when operators were goingto complete a call and transferred another call to themthe moment they hung up. If call center operators nor-mally spent 22 minutes an hour talking to customers,now they would spend 45. Because payroll was ourlargest cost, we were able to both outproduce and

=25


undercut the competition. As lions new to the terri-tory—lion cubs really—we caught our first gazelle.

If you’re chasing the competition, be a lion. Ask your-self: “How can we outrun the competition? How can weimprove upon what they do?” If you’re trying to stayahead of the competition, run like a gazelle. Ask yourself:“How can we avoid being caught? What will allow us toincrease the distance between us and the competition?”

Improve Vision #10:

Why is it my job to explore theunexplored?

The leader’s role is to ask questions that aren’t beingasked by others. Everyone else in the organization canbe demoted, circumvented, or replaced. Unless there’s astrong overseeing board, the leader is largely immune tothese concerns. The leader’s only judges are banks andcustomers.

Too many leaders bathe in the light of their pastaccomplishments—what they built, what they own, howfar they’ve come—when they should be investigatingbarriers and bridges to the future.

Some of your coworkers may have blinders on, doingonly the work that’s placed in front of them. Don’t judgethem too harshly, since they are vital to everyday oper-ations. As a leader, though, you must have more periph-eral and long-range vision. Climb up to the crow’s nestfor an unobstructed view. Take a look down at your

=26

Just Ask Leadership

ship’s deck. What might be impeding your progress?Now look out to sea. What opportunities do you see onthe horizon? What threats?

Tom Pritzker, chairman of Hyatt Corporation andMarmon Group Holdings, read in the New York Timesone morning that pending legislation would requiretobacco products to be moved behind store counters.Since at that time he owned a tobacco company, Con-wood, he was understandably concerned. Conwood’sCEO assured him the legislation would have a negligibleeffect on the company’s business, since all companieswould be beholden to the same rule, but Tom could seestorm clouds looming. He asked for a breakdown of thelegislation’s effects by region and product line.

Despite some grumbling, the Conwood senior teamran the numbers. They assumed that consumers were theones lobbying for the bill. It turned out, however, thatbig tobacco companies intended to use the bill to stran-gle their competition and prevent new entrants into themarket. The big players, with their well-establishedbrands, could demand that retailers purchase their wholeline of products or none at all. Since space behind coun-ters was limited and smaller competitors couldn’t guar-antee sales of their products, the littler companies werethe ones who stood to lose. Tom’s team estimated thatthe legislation would cost Conwood anywhere from 50to 100 percent of its earnings.

Management then launched a deeper investigation intothe commercial practices of their largest competitor. The

=27


results suggested a pattern of anti-competitive behavior:the most notable example being the wanton and largescale destruction of Conwood’s display racks by theircompetitor’s salespeople. As an attorney, Tom had theview that these practices were a violation of antitrustlaws, but management was averse to litigation. Eventu-ally, however, he won them over and Conwood launchedone of the largest antitrust suits ever in U.S. courts. Thisresulted in a $1.05 billion verdict in his favor and moreimportantly, resulted in an injunction which allowedConwood to enter the market with an innovative, price-oriented product, which later captured a 40 percent mar-ket share in its category.

Tom salvaged what could have been a total disaster byasking early on, “How exactly will this decision impactour business?” and, “Who stands to gain or lose?”

Climb to the top of the mast and scan the sea foropportunities and threats. Then ask forward-leaningquestions that others may be reluctant to voice.

Improve Vision #11:

How would I feel if this issue made thefront page of the newspaper?

Feel-good stories rarely make the headlines, and meetingyour organization’s sales targets won’t sell papers.Reporters don’t wear rose-colored glasses; they look for

=28

Just Ask Leadership

dirt—especially on the wealthy, famous, and powerful.So before you make a controversial decision or sign offon a discretionary expenditure, imagine what the head-lines might be.

Whenever we had an issue in dispute, Tom Madison,retired CEO of US West Communications and a boardmember of my former organization, asked, “How wouldyou feel if this issue made the front page of the newspa-per?” If he failed to ask that question, John Kunz, for-mer president of Dun & Bradstreet, often did. They werewell aware of what negative press could do to our com-pany and careers.

Once a writer or news source takes a stand againstyou, you have little chance of reversing the tide. Yourevery comment will feel as if it’s taken out of context,and the press won’t necessarily stretch to get the fullstory. I recall an instance when only former members ofour organization were interviewed for an investigativereport, not current ones. Needless to say, the results werenot good—or fair.

The papers are filled with stories about leaders whoreceive golden parachutes and performance bonuses,which leave employees and stakeholders feeling bitter—especially when health-care benefits and pensions arebeing cut. As a leader, you’re in the limelight. So when-ever you make a decision that could affect your image orthe organization’s, ask, “How would I feel if this issuemade it to the front page of the newspaper?”

=29


Improve Vision #12:

Am I a decision maker or a goal achiever?

At an executive retreat I attended, an expert consultantasked the assembled leaders, “Why do you get paid?”After listening to a variety of responses, he revealed hisanswer: “Leaders get paid for making decisions.” He’sright, to a point, but the message he sent was a danger-ous one for leaders to hear.

Yes, leaders make decisions, but if they think of them-selves as decision makers, that’s what they’ll be. Not lead-ers. Decision makers organize their universe aroundproblems. In general, they seek to define a problem, solicitinput, create a desired outcome, and then select a strategy.

Exceptional leaders don’t start with the problem. Theystart with the organization’s goal. Next, they assess thecurrent state of the organization in relation to the goal—the organization’s position, in other words. The thirdstep is to determine the strategy to reach the goal fromthe current position.

Although these two approaches are similar, they arenot the same, and the difference in outcomes can be dra-matic. The goal achiever works from a proactive state(where do we want to go?). The decision maker worksfrom a reactive state (how are we going to get out of thissituation?). Goal achievers lead and inspire their cowork-ers as they head toward a concrete destination. Theywant to do the right thing. Decision makers seek

=30

Just Ask Leadership

personal recognition, engender distrust, and go wherethe wind takes them.

Authority figures in hierarchical organizations whoconsider themselves decision makers do so because asthey moved up through the ranks, they rode the coattailsof their clever decisions. Exceptional leaders, whodemonstrate leadership, inspire those beneath them tomake sound decisions. If leaders are making all the deci-sions, there are fewer opportunities for their coworkersto excel. And these leaders are not spending enough timeor effort identifying their organization’s overarchinggoal, position, and strategy (what I call “GPSing”). Thisprocess works just like a GPS: you supply the destina-tion (goal), the system triangulates your location (posi-tion) relative to the destination using a satellite, and thenit produces accurate and efficient directions (strategy).

Start using GPSing, if you’re not already. With ques-tions, focus in on the goal, identify the organization’scurrent position, and then search for the correct strategy.Think of yourself as a goal-achieving leader, not a deci-sion maker.

Improve Vision #13:

Am I leading into the future or am Imanaging the present?

David McLaughlin, former chairman of the Red Crossand past president of Dartmouth College, said that healways knew whether he was leading or managing. If he

=31


was handling issues that were one to five years out, hewas leading. If the problems were closer to the present,he was managing.

Leaders are responsible for vision—both their visionand the vision of their coworkers. Ideally, the distanceworkers see into the future increases as they move up inthe organization:

• Front-line workers should consider their workfrom a minute, hour, day, and week perspective.

• Supervisors should consider their work from anhour, day, week, and month perspective.

• Managers should consider their work from a day,week, month, and quarter perspective.

• Vice presidents should consider their work from aweek, month, quarter, and annual perspective.

• Presidents should consider their work from amonth, quarter, annual, and three- to five-yearperspective.

Each succeeding level in the organization ought toeliminate one line of microexamination and add an addi-tional view of macroexamination. This doesn’t mean thatfront-line workers aren’t aware of the overall goals forthe company or that presidents can’t spend some timeworking on present-time issues; it simply means thateveryone must be responsible and accountable for his orher own goals to achieve the goals of the organization.

Do you spend the bulk of your time forecasting into thefuture (leading, in other words) or managing short-termcrises? If you’re focused more on the present than on the

=32

Just Ask Leadership

future, pass those present-day responsibilities onto themanagers and supervisors, where they truly belong. If youdon’t feel confident that your managers and supervisorscan handle these responsibilities, you’re either too control-ling or you need to hire better people.

Improve Vision #14:

What is my guiding question?

“Om . . .” Meditators use sounds like this one to helpthem find peace, harmony, and direction. These soundsare repeated until the day’s irritations—sirens, horns,slips, spills, criticisms, and so on—slip away.

Guiding questions can have a similar harmonic effect.They can make sorting through distractions and optionsmuch easier. Not surprisingly, many leaders find theminvaluable. Greg Farrell, president and CEO of Expedi-tionary Learning Outward Bound, said to me, “Youknow, Gary, the question I’m wrestling with is not‘Should I work with a guiding question?’ but ‘What guid-ing question should we work with when setting up eachexpeditionary learning model?’”

Guiding questions serve to reinforce larger goals—your own or your organization’s. My goal in writing thisbook was to share the value of question-based leadershipwith readers. To help me achieve that goal, I knew Ineeded a guiding question. After much thought, I settledon “Why is it that exceptional leaders spend so muchtime asking questions?”

=33


The experience of writing a book, like building a busi-ness or organizing an event, is filled with many interestingdistractions. Without my guiding question I might havebeen redirected by my research and curiosity, and woundup writing a book on sailing, or entrepreneurs, or a 40-vol-ume encyclopedia. Instead, when I reached a crossroad, Isimply asked, “Am I writing and researching the rightmaterial to answer my guiding question?” No matter howinteresting or important the new information was, I madesure it helped answer my overarching question. If it didn’t,I pushed it aside or filed it away for future projects.

When you’re writing a book, the consequences of yourdecisions are largely yours alone to suffer. In an organi-zation, many more lives are affected. Don’t make yourcoworkers follow your every whim. What overarchingquestion are you trying to answer? Once you have set-tled on a question, let it guide you. Repeat it daily like ameditation sound. And periodically ask, “Am I askingthe right question?” Keep asking this question until yourheart and mind come together.

Improve Vision #15:

Is our organization asking the right question?

While Sears focused on the question, “What do our cus-tomers want?” Wal-Mart asked, “Where do our customerswant to shop?” Look where they are now. Sears is fight-ing for survival, and Wal-Mart is experiencing almostunfathomable growth and prosperity.

=34

Just Ask Leadership

“I’m never afraid, especially given the characteristicsof this organization, that we won’t come up with adecent answer. I worry when we haven’t asked the rightquestion,” said Bob Senkler, CEO and chairman of Secu-rian Financial.

“How does this decision allow us to meet our prom-ise to pay?” is the right question for Bob and Securian,since they’re in the insurance business and aware of theircustomers’ primary fear: failure to pay claims.

With “variable life” products, customers can get ahigher possible return, but the exact amount can’t beguaranteed. “This doesn’t meet our organization’s‘promise to pay,’” many of Bob’s coworkers argued. Bobasked the team, “If we don’t offer this product and ittakes off in the marketplace, will we retain our salesforce and organizational strength?” The answer was no.Bob then successfully argued that sustaining financialstrength (through the inclusion of variable life products)was essential to maintaining their promise to pay.

Make sure your organization is asking the right ques-tion. And don’t hesitate to revisit, or reinterpret, thatquestion to address shifts in the marketplace.

Improve Vision #16:

Who will be my successor?

Harry Levinson, a former Harvard and MIT professorwho has written extensively about the psychology of leadership, went to a celebration at Brandeis University,

=35


honoring their newly appointed president. Harry asked thenew president, “Whom have you chosen as your succes-sor?” Another member of the faculty became quite agitatedby Harry’s question, especially as it was the first day of thenew president’s reign. The president, however, wasn’t rat-tled. He understood the wisdom of the question.

Several years earlier the president of Brandeis Univer-sity and his wife were killed in a fire at their hotel in Egypt,and the university went through a difficult transition. Inhis work as a management consultant, Harry observed theconsequences to many organizations when the leaderabruptly left. With time to plan, organizations can developleaders and ensure smooth transitions. Without that time,the search for leadership can be draining and extensive.The culture can become unstable, unmoored, and unpre-pared to accept someone from the outside.

Having a successor, even if it’s just an interim position,can provide much needed stability.

Regardless of your position in the organization, youought to know the answer to Harry’s question. Whomhave you pegged as your successor?

Improve Vision #17:

How do I hire someone who will excelin our organization’s culture?

When hiring, employers often consider an individual’sunique skill set, knowledge, and pedigree. What theysometimes don’t consider are the ways this individualmight change the organization’s culture.

=36

Just Ask Leadership

Every organization with two or more members is asystem. Within a system, each individual is connected,directly or indirectly, with every other individual. As thenumber of members increase, the web of connectionsbecomes more and more complex. Because of the sys-temic nature of organizations, any new individual nec-essarily impacts every other individual. Consequently,those charged with changing an organization’s member-ship—by firing, hiring, or transferring—have a seriousresponsibility. Their decisions must be goal-oriented,purposeful, and wise.

As a coach, I find many leaders mistakenly focus onfilling gaps with skills and knowledge rather than withpeople. “We need someone who can sell!” “We need atax accountant!” “We need a Ph.D. for this research!”Posted positions describe necessary skills and degrees.And interview questions are aimed at discovering detailsabout the skills and degrees listed on résumés.

“Larry” (an acquaintance of mine, who prefers to gounnamed) owns a sizeable consulting firm. He hired twonew partners, each with exceptional investment bankingskills. Larry was sure these two would become majorrevenue producers (or “rainmakers”) for his company.What he didn’t consider was their cultural “fit.” Hiscompany and its success had been built on trust, honesty,and, above all, teamwork. The new hires had two differ-ent values: self-interest and personal gain. Within a year,they nearly destroyed the firm—not because they lackedskills or knowledge, but because they disrupted a oncestable culture. It quickly changed from one of trust and

=37


concern to one of distrust, cynicism, and triangulatingconversations. A year passed before Larry recognized thecrashing waves and turned to action, firing the twoemployees. Once they were gone, the company—likemost systems—returned to its optimal functioning state.

One of the most powerful tools a leader has is the abil-ity to influence an organization’s culture. When a leaderfires an employee or hires a new one, a message is sentregarding both the leader’s values and the organization’sstandards. In the case of Larry’s consulting firm, employ-ees did not speak up, mainly because they thought theirleader had made a deliberate choice. They assumed hewas trying to move the company in a new, more inde-pendent direction. It was only when tensions reached theboiling point that they began to voice their concerns.

Imagine that you’re selecting a Supreme Court jus-tice—one with the power to shift the Court’s ideologyand opinions for years to come. With so much at stake,don’t you owe it to yourself and others to be certain ofyour choice?

Bring your coworkers in when conducting final inter-views. Doing so helps ensure that the current culture willremain consistent and the organization will remain pur-pose-driven. By asking for input during the hiringprocess—rather than telling coworkers about their newcolleague—leaders reflect their desire to lead, not com-mand and control. And your coworkers will feel astronger investment in the future of the organization.

=38

Just Ask Leadership

Improve Vision #18:

If we hire this person, what should weexpect?

“What we look for in other beings is the hoped for

satisfaction of our own desires.”

—Simone Weil

Before hiring someone, ask, “Am I hiring this person tosatisfy my needs or the organization’s?” Often hiringhappens quickly because of the leader’s stake in the mat-ter. Until a gap is filled, the leader may have to cover part(if not all) of the prospective worker’s responsibilities—“doing” work, not “leading” work.

Leaders may hesitate to fire ineffectual or untrustwor-thy coworkers out of fear of not being liked, or becauseof the work involved with hiring and covering gaps. Thelonger these employees are kept on, the better prospec-tive employees look. The desire to fill the positionquickly combined with the desire for a skilled, trustwor-thy employee can, however, result in leaders feeling“selector’s remorse” six months later.

Most leaders ask questions about past work perform-ance, do background and reference checks, and testprospective employees with decision-making scenarios.What they fail to do is identify difficult or unpleasanttraits. Interviews tend to focus on positive traits, so thisshouldn’t come as a surprise. But everyone has traits that

=39


can irritate others. If you don’t uncover these traits in aninterview, be wary. Chances are they exist.

Once you and your colleagues settle on a qualifiedcandidate, ask, “Can we live with this person’s negativetraits, day after day after day?”

Be prepared to remind yourself and others that youdecided to hire this candidate despite these traits. Overtime, irritating traits might cloud your judgment. You seeonly the last wave hitting the shore, not the oceanicdepths present in all people. You may miss the truly valu-able contributions this coworker makes—the positivequalities and skills that tempted you to hire her in thefirst place.

Improve Vision Summary

Vision starts with an awareness of values: yours and theorganization’s. If you’re acting in concert with both setsof values, then you will know the right thing to do wheninteracting with customers, hiring new employees, andsetting goals. With clearly defined goals and guidingquestions, you will inspire others to follow. As yourcoworkers learn the importance of their work and input,the organization’s stated values will eventually becomethe operating values, and the culture will thrive.

=40

Just Ask Leadership


“The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”

–Albert Einstein

a 43

aC h a p t e r 2

Ensure Accountability—Increasing Team andOrganization-widePerformance

If you groom leaders at all levels of your organization,work will get done well and on time. Rather than

micromanaging (which stifles others’ growth and creativ-ity), spend your time focusing on job descriptions,resource allocation, and performance reviews. Questionyour accountability procedures, not your coworkers’work ethics.

1. Who’s to blame—the employee or the jobdescription?

2. Are my team leaders leaving a trail of frustratedpeople behind?

3. How often should I schedule performancereviews?

4. How do I get coworkers to stop repeating thesame mistakes?

5. How can I entice coworkers to modify theirbehavior? (KiSS: Keep doing, Stop doing, Start doing)

6. Why do my coworkers ask me questions that they should (and often do) know theanswers to?

7. Why are my direct reports coming to me withproblems that are not my responsibility?

8. Am I an interrogator or an interviewer?

9. What am I afraid of losing?

10. How do I give coworkers maximum latitude tomake their own decisions?

11. How can I reduce a coworker’s fear of failure?

12. When should I commit resources to newprojects?

Ensure Accountability #1:

Who’s to blame—the employee or thejob description?

When an employee isn’t performing well, leaders often ask:

• Why didn’t you reach your sales targets?

• How come you didn’t finish that report on time?

• What skills do you need to add or improve?

=44

Just Ask Leadership

Frustration builds on the part of the employee and theleader. And two dueling narratives take shape—“He’sunreliable, unqualified, and a perpetual disappointment”(leader); “No matter what I do, how hard I try, I can’tseem to accomplish my work and satisfy my boss’sexpectations. Why is it so hard to please her? Why do Ieven bother trying?” (employee). Both mount evidenceto support their positions.

Sometimes, though, the job description is to blame.It’s a mistake, for instance, for the head of sales to also

be in charge of service. The skills required for these twopositions are incompatible. I know from personal experi-ence. In the early days at ACI, I made a sales call at Searsafter attending a humbling service quality meeting withour operations unit. I believe strongly in transparency andhonesty—then and now. So how was I supposed to per-suade Sears, in that moment, to choose our company overour competitors? The answer: I couldn’t. Half my brainwas focusing on how we needed to improve.

In my coaching business, I repeatedly find this prob-lem, particularly in small companies where employees areasked to wear lots of hats. After hearing a diatribe of dis-appointment from a leader about an employee, I’ll ask tosee the employee’s job description. After reading it, I’llhand it back to the leader and ask, “Could you do thisjob effectively?” The answer is often, “No.” In fact, theleader finds it hard to imagine anyone who could do so.We then switch gears and start designing a job descrip-tion that gives the employee a real chance to succeed.

=45

Ensure Accountability—Increasing Team and Organization-Wide…

Before you let a narrative of failure and disappoint-ment take shape, ask, “Who’s to blame—the employeeor the job description?”


Are my team leaders leaving a trail offrustrated people behind?

Captain James A. Symonds commands the USS RonaldReagan, a ship with over three thousand personnel.“Harry Truman said it best,” says Symonds, “‘It is amaz-ing what you can accomplish if you do not care who getsthe credit.’”

And yet Symonds admits that it can be hard to detectthose who don’t heed Truman’s advice. “A lot of folkswith too big an ego make it too far in this business becausethey look a lot better from above than they do frombelow.” They get promoted because they’re effective andefficient but “leave a trail of frustrated people behind.”

When superiors don’t value their opinions and involvethem in the decision-making process, people feel unful-filled and unappreciated, often to the point of quitting.The Navy is no exception to this rule. Just because peo-ple are expected to follow orders in the military doesn’tmean they have to like it.

Symonds told me that the Navy was consideringusing 360-degree evaluations: a process that wouldreveal self-promoters because it incorporates feedbackfrom superiors, peers, and subordinates. With 360s,

=46

Just Ask Leadership

Navy brass could ensure that team leaders were devel-oping other leaders, assigning challenging work, ask-ing open-ended questions, and creating a fulfilling workenvironment.

Does the team leader who reports to you, the one youlikely consider the best of the batch, look as good frombelow as he does from above? Ask the ones who knowbest—those who are below.


How often should I scheduleperformance reviews?

Henry Chidgey, who once ran several railroad and dia-mond companies, advocates monthly performancereviews. These reviews need not and should not be com-plex; they work best when kept extremely simple. Max-imum accountability is the main goal.

Here’s how the process works: The day before themeeting, your coworker brings you a list of five or sixkey objectives, detailing her progress on each. During thereview on the following day, you simply assess the dataand discuss how performance compares with objectives.Depending on the employee, this can be a short 30-minute process or it can take as long as two hours.

When an employee comes into your office, she shouldalways bring a pen and paper and be required to takedetailed minutes of the meeting. Once the meeting is over,the employee should make a photocopy of the minutes

=47


for your file. The reason for doing so is twofold: first, thenotes allow you to verify the individual’s understandingof the review; second, the notes increase consistency fromone review to the next.

There are three key questions to ask during the meeting:

I. How well did you meet the objectives wemutually agreed on?

II. Choose one of the following:

a) If you’re ahead, how did you get ahead?

b) If you’re behind, how did you get behind?

c) If you’re on target, is there anything I need to know?

1) If yes, discuss further.

2) If no, extol the virtues of coming in ontarget.

3) If you’re not meeting your objectives,what’s the root cause?

The third question should trigger a discussion. In it,remain objective and listen, giving your coworker timeto sort through her answer. If you can accept her expla-nation of the “root cause,” you allow it to be the actualroot cause. If you can’t accept this explanation, youbecome her coach, helping her better understand the situation.

Don’t provide solutions; the employee needs to do this.If you tell rather than ask, you will not have accountable

=48

Just Ask Leadership

employees. Be patient. Having employees solve their ownproblems is critical to building their accountability.

Once the employee develops a solution, coach herthrough the following steps:

1. Establish an action plan.

2. Establish a deadline for implementing the action plan.

3. Schedule another meeting immediately after the deadline.

With difficult employees, you may need to increase thepressure, particularly if they consistently fail to meetgoals. Pressure can be increased simply by increasing thefrequency of reviews. The process can occur every twoweeks, every week, or even daily, if needed. It’s unlikelythat daily reviews will continue long term, as anemployee at this stage is usually on the way out.

The key is to remain on board with the employee,instead of playing the heavy. Let the progress reportsdo the hard work. An added benefit of the reports isthat no goal will be overlooked for long without actionbeing taken.

You might wonder, “If I manage like this, how will Iever get my own work done?” Consider the alternative.If your coworkers aren’t accountable, you’ll be doingtheir work for the rest of your career. Practice the JustAsk management style consistently, however, and mostof your coworkers will require very little of your time.

=49


In fact, they will likely become apostles of accountabil-ity, replicating your style throughout the organization.


How do I get coworkers to stoprepeating the same mistakes?

I can ask my daughters three times to pick their clothesup off the floor and not get results. Rather than ask afourth time, I’ll just do it myself. Over time, my frustra-tion builds. The 100th time I ask them to pick up theirclothes, I might pull my hair, turn purple, raise my voice,and shock my daughters with an uncharacteristic andunreasonable response. Everyone feels aggrieved.

There’s a way to avoid this stress and aggravation.Instead of asking simple yes or no questions, providechoices with real consequences. I might, for instance, askmy daughters, “Would you prefer picking up yourclothes each morning or a receiving a 50 percent reduc-tion in your allowance?”

In your organization, if someone keeps repeating thesame mistake, make the stakes clear. Then allow thatperson to make a choice. Ask, “Do you want to be partof the team and start coming prepared to meetings, orwould you rather move on?”

Some might find this practice a bit heavy-handed, butaccountability begins with choice.

Make the choices and consequences clear. Obviously,there’s a limit to how many times you can suggest the

=50

Just Ask Leadership

option of quitting or being fired before it loses its effec-tiveness. The stakes don’t always have to be this high.Ideally, the consequences to the coworker should not begreater than the consequences of the repeated mistakeare to you.


How can I entice coworkers to modifytheir behavior? (KiSS: Keep doing, Stopdoing, Start doing)

Most people who try to lose weight are back at theiroriginal weight within three years. Smokers, drinkers,and drug users relapse at tragic rates, even those who gothrough treatment programs. When behaviors becomeingrained, they’re hard, very hard, to change.

Leaders are often unrealistic about their expectationsfor change. By the time they ask for change, theircoworker’s behavior is already driving them crazy. That’swhy they want and expect the change to take placeimmediately. Announcing that they’ll be watching closelydoesn’t help matters. That creates paranoia and thedesire to hide—the same feelings that prompt an alco-holic to store liquor in a shoebox and sneak a drinkwhen nobody’s looking.

When they demand change from coworkers, someleaders conveniently forget how hard change has beenfor them and how much time the process can take.

=51


The acronym KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) has takenroot in our collective consciousness. KiSS is a variationthat I find helpful, if less memorable (in part because itreally should be KeSS). Here’s how it works. During yourcoworker’s next review, ask, “What is the one thing youwould like to KEEP doing, STOP doing, and STARTdoing?” If your coworker doesn’t own the need forchange, the change is virtually guaranteed not to hap-pen. The KiSS process encourages ownership.

If the coworker doesn’t mention the behavior youwant to see modified, raise the issue and explain why youwould like that behavior changed. It is a review, after all.Ask if he will agree to make the change. Chances are hewill, especially if you’re not asking for more than threechanges at any given time.

Let’s say your coworker has had a difficult timeresponding promptly to phone calls. On average, hedoesn’t return two of your calls a week. If this is happen-ing with you, his direct report, it is likely happening withcustomers, suppliers, and other staff. At the next review,you ask the coworker to return all calls within threehours, and he agrees to make this change.

Your coworker begins in earnest and does a remark-able job until three weeks later when he forgets to returna call from you. Not returning calls is a sign of disrespect,but blasting your coworker (“I knew you couldn’tchange!”) isn’t helpful. In fact, he might return to his oldbehavior out of spite.

=52

Just Ask Leadership

Instead, reinforce the positive: “You’ve made tremen-dous strides on returning calls, which made me wonderif something happened yesterday that made it hard foryou to get back to me.”

Positive events carry less emotional memory than neg-ative ones. Every time we switch lines at the grocerystore, it seems like our former line moves faster. Accord-ing to psychological researchers, we don’t all have badgrocery store luck. We just remember the times thatsomething didn’t work and hold those memories longerand with greater intensity.

Celebrate positive changes and ask about (don’t harpon) the setbacks.


Why do my coworkers ask me questionsthat they should (and often do) knowthe answers to?

A client of mine answered this question with another:“Why can’t you tickle yourself?” According to ScientificAmerican, the cerebellum tracks and foresees your hand’smovement before you even move. This forward predic-tion neutralizes the response of other parts of the braininvolved in being tickled.

This same type of neutralizing happens when acoworker has a question. This person comes into youroffice or catches you in the hall. All you have to do is

=53


restate their question, and more often than not theycome to their own solution.

What seems to be happening in these interchanges isthe giving of permission. Your coworkers are looking forvalidation that they actually have the right to solve a par-ticular issue.

How you respond is important. If you provide theanswer, you enter into the cycle of building dependence.Resist this urge and simply volley the question back.

Refrain from giving permission to the answer once it’sprovided. This practice is only marginally better thanproviding answers yourself, in terms of building up yourcoworkers’ sense of responsibility and confidence. If theyare the decision makers, let them decide.

Your coworkers can’t tickle themselves. Tickle themwith questions.


Why are my direct reports coming to me with problems that are not myresponsibility?

If problems or “exceptions” keep landing on yourdesk—problems that truly are not your responsibility—you and your coworkers might have vastly differingopinions about your respective roles. Try this four-stepprocess:

1. Let the staff know that you are the ultimatedecider about your team’s roles and accountability.

=54

Just Ask Leadership

In the “Just Ask” leadership model, leaders shouldbe willing to cede some control; however,“organizations are not democracies,” says BillMcLaughlin, president & CEO of Select Comfort.Whenever possible, ask questions and allowcoworkers the latitude to make their owndecisions. In cases where you’re going to make thefinal decision, make this clear in advance.Otherwise, coworkers who have gottenaccustomed to being asked questions and makingtheir own decisions will feel duped and betrayed.

2. Ask your coworkers to describe roles and lines ofauthority from their perspective. Ask the same ofyour boss. Then be sure that you fullyunderstand the feedback you’ve received. Ifyou’re confused by someone’s input, askquestions until you completely grasp thatperson’s point of view. You need not agree withthe other person’s position, but you mustcommunicate that you know the position andvalue the input.

3. Analyze any discrepancies in the responses youreceived. What roles or lines of authority areunclear? Why? Pay particular attention to howyour role is defined by everybody. If your teamcomes to you with exceptions to the establishedrules, that may be because you aren’t fully clearon your own role. Once you have processed allthis information, present your findings, revised

=55


roles, and new lines of authority (if needed) toyour team.

4. In the future, when a coworker repeatedly comesin to discuss changes in sales territory, askyourself: Am I the appropriate decider here? If you are, then you need to devise a better rulesystem so that your direct reports can handlethese exceptions on their own in the future. If you are not the appropriate decider, then you need to make the organization’s lines ofauthority clearer to your team.

Distribute as much authority as you can down theorganization. In doing so, you’re not abdicating respon-sibility; you’re establishing it. At the same time, you mustbe clear about the decisions you alone will make and theprocess you will follow.


Am I an interrogator or an interviewer?

Law enforcement officers use interviews and interroga-tions to find out information from witnesses, victims,informants, and suspects. The difference between aninterview and an interrogation is simple. Interrogationsare meant to be stressful.

An interview ought to be conducted without stress. Astress-free environment isn’t always easy to achieve,

=56

Just Ask Leadership

however. Tom Pritzker, CEO and chairman of HyattCorporation provides an example: Two attorneys walkedinto his office late one night and gravely intoned, “Youhave a problem!” Once the attorneys communicated theparticulars of the crisis, Tom asked, “What solutionshave you come up with?” “None,” they answered. Someleaders would have let the attorneys’ anxiety becometheir own. Not Tom. He asked the attorneys to brain-storm “What if?” scenarios and encouraged them not todwell on negative outcomes. In doing so, he took thestress down to a manageable level, and pretty soonpotential solutions arose. He’d created a safe environ-ment, free from blame.

Interrogations take on a markedly different tone.Dick Dunn, who ran one of the large airline reward

programs for the Carlson Companies, experienced first-hand one of Curt Carlson’s legendary interrogations.Curt, the founder and then CEO, got into the elevatorwith Dick and asked, “What is it that you do for me?”(It was a question he often asked.) Curt followed everyquestion with another question, each more specific innature: How much does a consumer consider a freeticket worth? How much does Northwest [Airlines]charge other companies, like hotel chains and long dis-tance carriers, for each mile they purchase? How manymiles do you earn for a flight between Minneapolis andChicago? He drilled down to the angstrom (the finestmeasurement known to humans)—until, in other words,Dick no longer knew the answer.

=57


That elevator ride seemed to take weeks, according toDick. And it didn’t end when the doors opened. Curtsaid that he would call in an hour to get the answer tothe mileage question. Dick ran back to his office andfrantically dug up the information. Sure enough, an hourwent by and Curt called.

This story was recounted to me over a burger severalyears later. Not surprisingly, Dick doesn’t recall it fondly.He felt ashamed for not knowing the answer in the ele-vator, and that shame stuck with him. He does, however,recall the exact number that Curt wanted that day—397.8 miles.

Stories of Curt’s interrogations circulated through-out Carlson Companies. It wasn’t so much the specificanswers that Curt wanted, of course. He simply wantedto put everyone on notice: You’d better know each and every aspect of your job. It’s expected of you. Andthey did.

Interrogations can be demeaning and stress inducingbut effective at creating individual responsibility. Inter-views create a spirit of teamwork and often lead to cre-ative problem solving but may lead to slightly lesspreparedness. Is your organization’s culture one of inter-rogations or interviews?

I prefer the interview culture, since it leads to a moreharmonious work climate, but whichever culture youhave, consistency matters a great deal. If you oscillatebetween the two, chances are that your coworkers willoccasionally feel misled.

=58

Just Ask Leadership


What am I afraid of losing?

According to researchers, fear of loss has a much greaterpsychological hold on people than the desire to gain. Aswe build our assets, our careers, and our accomplish-ments, we feel like they belong to us. With so many hold-ings, no wonder we feel more compelled to defend whatwe have than to take risks.

When our company went public, I monitored ourmarket value in the morning newspaper or online. I couldn’t believe how much I (and our company) wasworth. I made my financial goal by age 36. As a result,I no longer felt the urge to slay the competition or defyconvention; my goal became to protect what I’d alreadygained.

After challenging the status quo for years, our com-pany became the status quo. The entire industry adoptedour technological platform. In those heady days, I shouldhave been looking for other revolutionary innovations.I should have been dangling my toes over the proverbialcliff’s edge, but instead I concentrated on managing ourgrowth. By the time I left, the company had begun itsdecline.

This desire to protect and defend can undo even thebest of leaders. Ask yourself:

1. What am I afraid of losing?

2. Is this an illusion or real?

=59


3. If I continue to defend, am I leading?

4. Is a defensive mindset serving me or theorganization?

Not only do you have to overcome your own resist-ance to change, you likely have to overcome all yourcoworkers’ resistance as well. After all, most peoplewould rather stay with the known than suffer loss forthe chance of something better.

If sharks don’t move forward, they die. Keep freshwater moving through you and your organization. Don’t sit and defend. Instead ask, “Can I afford not to take this risk?”


How do I give coworkers maximumlatitude to make their own decisions?

Responsible for all operations and building maintenanceat Moody Air Force Base, Col. Joseph Callahan is fondof telling his charges to “keep it between the rails.”While that sounds like tough speak, it’s actually quite liberating.

Imagine you’re standing on railroad tracks, staring offinto the distance. The tracks appear to get narrower asthey near the horizon. The horizon, in Col. Callahan’smetaphor, is the organization’s goal. The rails of thetracks represent the organization’s lines of authority andvalues, which shouldn’t be crossed.

=60

Just Ask Leadership

So when a member of his organization asks how toaccomplish a specific project, and Col. Callahan responds,“It’s up to you, but keep it between the rails,” he’s onlyplacing two restrictions on the individual: respecting theorganization’s lines of authority and honoring its values.That leaves a lot of room for the team member to oper-ate. At the same time, the process encourages his chargesto keep an eye on the organization’s goal.

While Lester Crown, chairman of Henry Crown andCompany and former president and chairman of GeneralDynamics, shares Col. Callahan’s convictions, he believesthat not all coworkers deserve the same degree of latitude.Before you trust someone with the organization’s crownjewels, in other words, he recommends that you graduallyelevate the level of trust (and, thereby, the risk) associatedwith the project. Naturally, if the project were to hold norisk at all, it would be hard to evaluate the coworker’strustworthiness. But, provided the coworker passes eachprogressively risky task, trust will build—in both parties.

Trust must flow in both directions for it to be effec-tive. If you communicate distrust to coworkers whilesimultaneously granting them freedom, your coworkerswill have trouble determining how to act. They won’tfully trust you and your proclamations of decision-mak-ing freedom. So don’t assign a project unless you feelcomfortable with the level of trust it demands.

By following Col. Joseph Callahan and Lester Crown’sadvice, you and your coworkers will make considerableprogress down the tracks toward the organization’s goal.

=61



How can I reduce a coworker’s fear of failure?

Maj. Gen. Dick Newton, who is responsible to the Secretary of the Air Force and Chief of Staff, introducedme to Auftragstaktik (“mission tactics”): a mission-ori-ented command process developed and employed by theGerman military in the early 1800s. Four key compo-nents are required for its success:

• Mutual trust among leaders based on eachleader’s intimate personal knowledge of thecapabilities of the others.

• Training and organization in everything the armydoes to reinforce the primacy of the judgment ofthe man on the scene (decentralization).

• A willingness to act on the part of all leaders andthose who aspire to be leaders.

• Simple, commonly accepted and understoodoperations concepts.

—Lieutenant Colonel John Silva (Baltic DefenseCollege – Department of Operations April 1999“AUFTRAGSTAKTIK – ITS ORIGIN AND DEVELOPMENT”)

In the German military it was forgivable to act andhave a poor outcome. It was, however, unforgivable notto act. With or without appropriate orders, the officerwould be questioned afterward, but not interrogated. The

=62

Just Ask Leadership

focus of questioning would be to learn from the outcome,positive or negative. Retribution would break down thetrust critical, culturally, to the success of the model. That’swhy the officer’s superior was duty-bound to ensure thatthe questioning proceeded in a supportive manner.

The Auftragstaktik process recognized that split-sec-ond decisions on the battlefield could backfire but thatindecision and paralysis were worse. And with the ques-tioning process, officers could learn from mistakes, sharestrategies, and gain problem-solving insights without fearof recriminations or reprisal.

Fear of failure is, of course, directly related to fear ofreprisal. Encourage your coworkers to act in the present,then reinforce your trust in them by concentrating onhow future performance might be improved, no matterwhat the outcome.

Most of us associate the military with the command-and-control model of leadership. There are, of course,exceptions—like Auftragstaktik and Col. Callahan’s“between the rails” model—which give individuals thelatitude to make their own decisions and take risks.


When should I commit resources to new projects?

“Be careful what you wish for,” the old saying goes.Instead, maybe it should be: “Be careful what youbegin.” Once you commence a project, you are—perhaps

=63


unwittingly—attaching yourself to a trajectory. If you’renot careful, you may find yourself unable to hop off thattrajectory, simply because you have invested too muchtime, money, and effort to accept failure.

Motorola found itself in such a position. They wantedto make consumer-based satellite phones, but after com-pleting the first phase of their business plan (creating thetechnology), they realized they didn’t have a viable mar-keting plan that would account for the high cost of deliv-ery. Had they done so, they would have saved billions of dollars.

The following study, as it appeared in John KeithMurnighan’s Bargaining Games: A New Approach toStrategic Thinking in Negotiations, indicates how psy-chologically attached we become to our failures. =

64

Just Ask Leadership

At the University of California at Berkeley, Barry Staw con-

ducted several research projects investigating how commit-

ment to a failed course of action can escalate.

Business students read the fictitious case, which has had

a long, profitable history but now appears in trouble. Act-

ing as financial VPs, students are asked to invest $10 mil-

lion in either the company’s Consumer or Industrial

products division.

After they have made their decision, time is accelerated

to five years later. Half of the VPs are told that their origi-

nal decisions were successful: The division that received the

extra funds had turned itself around and looked as if it

would continue to be successful. The other VPs are told that

Instead of focusing on how to learn to cut your losses,let’s address the issue on the front end: when should youescalate your commitment to new projects?

Here are some questions to ask in the early stages:

• Do you think future gains are possible, and whatare the risks you would be willing to take forthose gains?

• Is optimism blocking you from seeing negativeconsequences?

• Has the team overadvocated for the project, anddo they now feel personally invested in, oridentified with, the outcome?

• If faced with a worst-case scenario, would you stillbe able to walk away without a significant loss?

=65


their decisions were unsuccessful: The division that had

received the influx of money was doing worse than ever.

After this news, they must invest up to $20 million more in

either of the two divisions, Consumer or Industrial products;

this time they can divide the money any way they like.

People whose previous decisions were unsuccessful

pour more money into that same, failing division. Not only

that, when they also face a serious personal threat (that is,

losing their job), they commit even more to the unsuccess-

ful division. Commitments do not escalate, however, when

decision makers know that they will be throwing good

money after bad. Only when they have hope of escaping

the costs of previous poor decisions do decision makers

escalate their commitments.

By the time you find yourself asking, “What propelledus to move in this direction to begin with?” it’s usuallytoo late to escape without disastrous, unimagined con-sequences. Save yourself the shame of having to admityour error by analyzing everyone’s investment in theproject at the outset, including your own.

Imagine worst-case scenarios and ask yourself, “Howfar are we willing to proceed before we cut our losses?”

Ensure Accountability Summary

To develop and maintain accountable coworkers, youmust trust them and they must trust you.

Make the lines of authority clear, so that there is no con-fusion over decision-making responsibilities (especially ifyou are going to be the ultimate decision maker). Describein detail the desired outcome, restrictions (or “rails”), and potential consequences and rewards. Be patient withyour coworkers’ pace of discovery, but address problem-atic behavior before it (and your frustration) becomesingrained. Provided good-faith action was taken, makesure you learn from, and don’t punish, failure.

As your coworkers demonstrate progress and initiative,provide them with progressively more challenging workand responsibilities. They will expect consistency on yourpart with regards to questioning style (interrogator orinterviewer), enforcement of rules, and reactions to suc-cess and failure. If you ask and expect them to changeand embrace change, you must be prepared to do so too.

=66

Just Ask Leadership


You see things; and you say, “Why?”

But I dream things that never were; and I say,

“Why not?”

—George Bernard Shaw

a 69

aC h a p t e r 3

Build Unity andCooperation—Creating a Culture of Trust

How can questions unify an organization made up ofindividuals with vastly different backgrounds,

needs, and skills? Unity is no easy feat in this age of self-interest, but it’s not impossible. As a leader, invite othersto share their opinions. Listen well to your coworkers’responses and reflect back what you’ve heard. In doingso, your coworkers will know their opinions have beentransmitted clearly—not transformed or colored by yourown agenda. Treat questions from your coworkers asthoughtfully as you would have them treat yours andhonor their independence, but connect their success to the organization as a whole. This approach will helpyou retain promising young leaders and handle staremployees that aren’t team-minded.

1. How can I liven up the “state of theorganization” address?

2. If I have a better idea, should I share it with myteam?

3. Why am I the only one who talks in meetings?

4. How can I get everyone to contribute?

5. How can storytelling build unity?

6. What are my team’s needs?

7. How do I align each employee’s needs with theneeds of the organization?

8. Are you asking the right question but using thewrong tone?

9. What’s the difference between good questionsand gotcha questions?

10. How should I respond to good questions?

11. How can I be more present in conversations?

12. How do I show I am listening?

13. When should I seek advice from coworkers onmy own work?

14. Why don’t my coworkers come to me for advice?

15. What will it take to win over the peopleagainst me?

16. Can I trust my coworkers, and can they trust me?

17. Why are leaders leaving my organization?

18. How can I learn bad news sooner?

19. What can I do if a star employee constantlybreaks the rules?

=70

Just Ask Leadership

Build Unity and Cooperation #1:

How can I liven up the “state of theorganization” address?

While it’s important to take questions after you give a“state of the organization” address, you should ask ques-tions, too. Give those in attendance a chance to shine.Let them provide answers or information that revealstheir contributions to the organization.

It may seem counterintuitive that you, the leader,should do most of the asking. It’s important to acknowl-edge and accept, however, that no leader can have all theanswers. Acting as the “Oracle of Knowledge” candiminish your appeal and suggest that you’re takingcredit for the work of others. If you behave this way,your coworkers will relish occasions when you slip up,feel less inclination to achieve, and consider you anadversary, not a leader.

Try sending a copy of your presentation to eachdepartment (and any questions you have) prior to yourorganization-wide address, and ask the departmentheads for suggestions and comments. If you find theirinput particularly helpful or insightful, invite these lead-ers to conduct the presentation with you.

As a leader, it can be difficult to reduce your need tobe the bearer of truth. The most successful leaders,though, are willing to be vulnerable, approachable, andopen to others’ perspectives. They know that questionsempower others, build their own authority, and revealinformation that might otherwise be overlooked.

=71

Build Unity and Cooperation—Creating a Culture of Trust


If I have a better idea, should I share itwith my team?

Leaders typically have a greater sense of urgency thantheir coworkers. They also have a broader perspectiveand a greater range of experience. It’s a dangerous mix.

In meetings, leaders have difficulty keeping quiet whenthey have an idea that’s better than the ones currentlybeing batted around. Revealing that idea, however, oftenspoils the learning and discovery process of theircoworkers.

When coworkers are stuck, it makes sense for leadersto step in with questions that move them forward. Butleaders shouldn’t finish others’ thoughts or provide theirown solutions simply because they’re impatient with thepace of discovery.

The damage inflicted on coworkers can be consider-able, especially if they are emotionally charged by thediscussion. When people link feelings and thinking,there exists the possibility for real and permanentchange. If leaders disrupt this process, nobody is wellserved.

A client of mine runs a distribution business in theNortheast. She wanted to process-map her entire organ-ization, systematize each step, and then provide it to hercoworkers so that they would make fewer errors. Inessence, she wanted to provide them with her great idea.

Which process would resonate more with you?

=72

Just Ask Leadership

1. “I’ve put together a process map and instructionsfor you to do your job without errors. I wouldlike you to review this, make minor changes ifnecessary, and implement it at once.”

2. “We’ve been experiencing too many errors in ourproduction area. Can you devise a plan to ensure99.5 percent error-free production and implementthose changes?”

Most people would choose process 2, and so shouldyou. If you’re uncomfortable relinquishing all control toyour coworkers, ask them for their recommendationbefore they implement it. This will provide you with anopportunity to ask questions that test their ability tomeet the goal.

The only thing that truly matters is that the work getsdone to meet the objective, on time and budget—not thatyour coworkers reach the same decisions you did.

Your coworkers’ process might not be as efficient asyours (on paper), but in practice the implementation oftheir plan will be faster—simply because the personimplementing the idea was the one who came up with it.


Why am I the only one who talks atmeetings?

If you think you’re talking too much at meetings, so doeseveryone else.

=73


Some leaders believe that if they aren’t controlling oth-ers, then they themselves are being controlled. Theyapproach meetings as if they’re tug-of-war contests.Instead, they should see meetings as an exchange ofinformation and ideas. They should seize these opportu-nities to ask questions, not bludgeon others with theiropinions.

Mike Harper, former CEO and chairman of ConAgra,always opened meetings with a question. He then sat for-ward and listened to everyone’s problem-solving ideas. Ifhe noticed that someone wasn’t speaking much, he wouldinvite that person to contribute. Mike would be encourag-ing and supportive even when his coworker’s commentswere not on track with his agenda. By providing heavydoses of support over the course of five or six meetings,Mike could usually draw this coworker out to be a fullyfunctioning part of the team. If this coworker continuedto be withdrawn, however, Mike made it clear that he orshe would have to move on.

Sometimes you can have too much of a good thing.When Mike encountered a coworker who talked toomuch in meetings, he applied a different strategy. Care-ful to avoid belittling this person in front of others, Mikewould direct his next question at someone else or use anonverbal gesture (like the sweep of his arm) thatemphasized his desire to hear from others.

A team often needs leadership rather than just consen-sus. Mike’s approach still provided leadership. If someonebegan guiding the discussion away from the company’s

=74

Just Ask Leadership

visions, goals, objectives, and values, Mike would simplyask, “How does this help us meet our goal?” or, “Is thisin alignment with our vision?”

Mike had a motto, which he taught to everyone,including me: “E3: Earnings, Earnings, Earnings.” Ananalyst once asked Mike about his goals for the company.Mike’s answer was simply, “Earnings.” When asked if hehad other goals, Mike said, “Oh, yes. Our second goal isearnings, and our third goal is earnings.” When Mikeasked, “How does this help us meet our goal?” in meet-ings, everyone understood exactly what he meant.

If you want to see innovation in your company, followMike’s example: ask a question, then be silent and listen.Books on leadership speak much about courage. It takescourage to trust your team. It takes courage to believeyour coworkers will deliver ideas and execute them suc-cessfully. Chances are, though, that they will—if you givethem space, encouragement, and a clear goal.


How can I get everyone to contribute?

“It was their idea. I don’t even know who even suggestedit, but everyone loved it.” Mike Broderick, CEO andfounder of Turning Technologies, said this when describ-ing how his company came up with the name for its newproduct: Response Card.

Mike received 60 suggestions for a product name fromhis coworkers. They then used the Ranking Wizard

=75


(a great feature of TurningPoint software, a principalproduct of Turning Technologies) to rate these sugges-tions based on three criteria:

1. The product’s applications

2. Memorableness

3. Likability

The top eight to ten suggestions were rated again. Thename Response Card rose to the top, and everyone feltcommitted to it—mostly because they had a hand in thedecision-making process.

In The Wisdom of Crowds, James Surowiecki explainshow the aggregate view of a group is more likely toobtain a better answer than any single member of thatgroup. Turning Technologies takes that thinking andapplies it to organizational settings, like PowerPoint pre-sentations.

Imagine that when you asked your coworkers a ques-tion in the middle of a presentation, they used a smallremote control to register their responses, and youreceived an aggregate response immediately. With thisTurningPoint feature, not only are you virtually assuredof coworkers staying awake and alert, but lectures willbecome dynamic questioning sessions with a muchhigher probability of changing opinions and reachingconsensus—in part because the process can preserveanonymity. Your coworkers don’t have to raise theirhands sheepishly after looking to see how everyone else,especially you (the leader), is voting.

=76

Just Ask Leadership

If your organization has grown as much as TurningTechnologies (now with more than 90 employees), build-ing unity and cooperation can be difficult. Try usingtechnology that allows everyone’s voice to be heard.Trust the wisdom of the crowd, not only to come up withideas but also to evaluate them.


How can storytelling build unity?

Surely the shortest distance between setting a goal andachieving it is a command, right? Like the Nike slogansays: Just do it.

Not necessarily. Not if the goal is to inspire or uniteyour troops. Commands might unite your troops againstyou, but rarely is the converse true. To create a cohesivegroup, use questions that evoke shared experiences andstories. When people tell stories, they reveal theirstrengths and weaknesses. These stories trigger emotionsthat prompt listeners to consider similar stories in theirown lives. Pretty soon, the group forms a collective iden-tity around their shared experiences, language, and val-ues. Individuals then make this group identity part oftheir own.

This storytelling/bonding phenomenon goes by manynames, one of them being fantasy theme analysis, after astudy by Ernest G. Bormann in Discussion and GroupMethods (Harper & Row, 1969). He discovered thatpeople galvanize more around emotional stories than

=77


syllogisms or scientific experiments. “We are not neces-sarily persuaded by reason,” Bormann said. “We areoften persuaded by suggestion that ties in with ourdreams.”

TV advertisements know all about this power to sug-gest. Commercials seldom try to persuade you to buy aproduct with logic. Instead, they craft little parables thatsweep you away in a tide of emotion. The pickup truck,splashing through the mud, is the embodiment of free-dom in America. The cell phone commercial reminds youthat you have 100 percent coverage because an army oftele-dweebs is out there checking every square inch ofreal estate: “Can you hear me now?”

If you want to use stories to create excitement andcohesion in your organization, ask questions that stir thecommon feelings of coworkers:

• What have we done together in the past thathelped us overcome what seemed likeinsurmountable obstacles?

• How can we change the world?

• What makes us feel good when we come to work?

• What values are present when you have a greatday at work?

• If you could be in charge for one day, what wouldyou like to see happen?

Phil Condit, former CEO and chairman of Boeing,united workers at Boeing under the phrase “workingtogether” as they designed and manufactured a new

=78

Just Ask Leadership

plane, the 777. The phrase was particularly apt becauseBoeing engineers were asked to team with productionpeople for the first time. The “working together” sloganextended to suppliers, too, who needed to be embracedin order for Boeing to produce a plane with over 4 mil-lion individual parts.

Poet and organizational philosopher David Whytecalls leaders the “chief conversationalists.” He believesleaders should think not of what they have to do but ofwhat conversations need to take place. Whyte recalledbeing at a Boeing site where someone had crossed outthe word working on a banner and written somethingunderneath. “I went over to look at the banner becauseI thought it would give me a real insight towards whatwas really going on,” said Whyte. “But instead of some-thing scurrilous there, I was startled to see the wordimagining. I thought: what a good sign that they weretalking about imagining together.”

A group can be downcast, even despairing, but themoment they are asked to create a goal for themselves,their dynamic undergoes a huge change. Instead of youtalking, they are talking. They’re interested. They’reinvolved. Their egos and ownership drive kick in, andwhen that happens, the quality of their responses elevates.

What are we here for? What are the limits? Who arewe? These questions charge people’s souls and invitethem to consider all possibilities. See what common sto-ries emerge; then use them to create, hone, or reinforcea group identity.

=79



What are my team’s needs?

The Golden Rule says, “Do unto others as they woulddo unto you.” After witnessing selfish or cruel acts, par-ents put their hands on their children’s shoulders andspeak these words in grave tones—and for good reason.The Golden Rule prompts us to ask, “What if the situa-tion were reversed?” The act of imagining another’s per-spective helps to build cooperation and generosity, whichis why the Golden Rule has withstood the test of time.The problem is, too often we don’t know what othersreally want!

My parents live in Scottsdale, Arizona, where theyobserved a homeless woman, dressed in rags, scouring adumpster for her breakfast. When she extracted a largeunopened box of donuts, a passerby yelled, “Wow, thisis your lucky day!” The woman responded, “What doyou mean my ‘lucky day’? I can’t eat these.” She tossedthe box back in. “I’m watching my weight.”

We can get into trouble when we make assumptionsabout what others want. I often hear leaders say, “Theyshould be so grateful for what we’re doing for them. If Iwere in their position, this is exactly what I would wantfor myself.” True, but it may not be what their cowork-ers want or need.

Early in our business, Rick Diamond and I wanted toprovide our staff with health insurance. Since we’d

=80

Just Ask Leadership

received some requests for pay increases, we put it to avote: pay increase or health insurance? Due to the mar-gins in our industry, we couldn’t afford both. To ouramazement, our staff opted for the pay increase. If wehadn’t asked for their input, we would have acted pater-nally and chosen the health insurance option because wewould have slept better knowing that all our employeeswere covered. But, ultimately, we wouldn’t have giventhem what they really wanted.

Hillel, a rabbinic scholar and philosopher, modifiedthe Golden Rule. His version reads: “Do unto others asthey would have done unto themselves.” This promptsleaders to ask, “What are my coworkers’ unique needsand desires, and how can I help meet them?”

Survey your staff on a regular basis. What are theirunique needs and desires? Search not only for answersto this question but also for the rationales. In asking,“For what reason?” you will get a much better sense ofwhat drives your coworkers.


How do I align each employee’s needswith the needs of the organization?

We have more individual choices than ever. We canchoose from 16 movies at a megaplex, eight differentkinds of orange juice (low acid, lots of pulp, not fromconcentrate, and so on), and countless shoe brands and

=81


styles. Is it any surprise that we want to be free to makechoices in our jobs as well?

If you grew up with only four TV channels to choosefrom, you might believe that command-style leadershipis still viable. You might believe in shared values andneeds, the way some people did in the 1960s. Unfortu-nately, centralized leadership doesn’t work with the current generation. People want to work their way, notyour way. They know what motivates them and how they best achieve results and obtain information,and they want to receive full credit for their efforts. If you try to steamroll their independence, you’ll wind up with flattened cartoon characters, not produc-tive employees.

As a leader today, you must decentralize power andauthority. With leadership opportunities, your cowork-ers will find personal meaning in the work they do. Andthey’ll do it well, provided you meet their needs. Yourchallenge—accommodating leaders on all levels of theorganization—is daunting, maybe even terrifying. Howdo you align everyone’s needs with the needs of theorganization? With so many leaders, so much independ-ence, will chaos be far behind?

Not necessarily. Not if you build in some safeguards.It’s important to understand that total independence isoften desired but not always healthy. Individuality isgood, but individualism can lead to a sense of helpless-ness, and this helplessness can lead to depression. Despite

=82

Just Ask Leadership

fiercely independent childhood heroes like Superman,Batman, and Wonder Woman, we want and need to bepart of something greater than ourselves. We want thesupport of a community.

We want to feel like the work we do has meaning,not only to ourselves but also to others. Chances are,this meaning has already been established—in the formof your organization’s founding mission, vision, goals,and values. These pillars were originally set by thefounder and then enhanced through time by the orga-nization’s leadership teams. As a leader, you can bringthis meaning to your coworkers by frequently askinghow their needs and goals match the organization’s. Indoing so, you give them the respect they want and need,as well as communicate a sense of belonging to a largercommunity.

Do you believe in your organization’s mission, vision,goals, and values? If so, you’ll be able to impart thissense of togetherness to your charges. If not, you’ll beherding cats.

Authentic leadership requires allowing everyone tolead at times but to instill one cohesive purpose so thatthese leaders will work together and move in one over-arching direction. For each and every project, ask your-self, “How does this contribute to our organization’smission, vision, goals, and values?” Ask the same of yourdirect reports. And have them ask the same of their directreports.

=83



Are you asking the right question butusing the wrong tone?

My wife, Chris, is an executive recruiter and can readpeople and animals with uncanny ability. We were run-ning along a lake recently and she said, “Libby [our dog]needs to go into the water.” The second I unleashedLibby, she bolted to the water and sat relaxing and lap-ping up the water as only a dog can.

Two female police officers parked close by. “Do youthink we did something wrong?” Chris asked. “I don’tthink so,” I responded.

As the police officers approached, one asked, “Do youhave ID?” That question could have been asked with acasual disarming tone, especially since Chris and I werewearing running clothes with no pockets—a fact that Idoubt was lost on the officers. Instead, the tone was threat-ening and intense—more of a demand than a question.

The officers explained that an unleashed dog was a$175 fine. Allowing the dog in the water was an addi-tional $175 fine. “Are you really going to give us a ticketfor this?” I asked, upset. I repeated the question, in amore demure tone, trying to communicate to the officersthat I wasn’t a threat to them or their power. Finally, oneof them said, “No.”

Police officers and federal agents are often fearfulwhen approaching suspects. It pays for them to bewary, take precautions, and project strength. But they

=84

Just Ask Leadership

ought to tailor their tone based upon the setting andsituation. If they don’t, they may incite conflict, notavoid it.

When asking a question, consider your tone. Can youdetect a hint of power, arrogance, sarcasm, indifference,or cynicism? Can others? If so, it doesn’t matter howgood a question you ask.

If you ask, “What can I do to help you complete thisproject on time?” but your tone suggests impatience andirritation, your coworker will sense the underlying feel-ings and likely respond defensively or refuse your offer.You may feel like you’ve been fair and upheld yourresponsibilities, but you really haven’t. Your tone andyour questions sent conflicting messages.

Tones are imprinted in us from childhood, long beforewe understood the signposts that symbolic languageprovides. Make sure the tone and meaning of yourwords are in sync. When you ask a question, think notonly of what you want to say but also of which tone youwant to use.


What’s the difference between goodquestions and gotcha questions?

Good questions are both challenging and inviting. Theyhouse the potential for growth and collaboration. Theyare delivered with enthusiasm and don’t carry judgmentor firm guidance. The destination is left wide open.

=85


You’re unlikely to get a cursory answer from a goodquestion. If you’re lucky, you might get a “Good ques-tion!” in return. When you do, it’s often becauseresponders want to support your inquiry, but also give themselves additional time to consider theirresponse.

Gotcha questions will sometimes elicit a “Good ques-tion!” from responders, too, but there’s nothing goodabout them. These are questions geared toward mak-ing others look bad—and elevate the asker in theprocess.

According to Ron James, president and CEO of theCenter for Ethical Business Cultures, boardrooms arenotorious havens for gotcha questions. In a room fullof prestigious CEOs, newcomers have to demonstratewhy they’re worthy of being in this group, and one wayto do that is by asking questions that people can’tanswer. The result, says James, is that other boardmembers think, “Well, I’d better come up with a ques-tion that can stump the rest, too.” Pretty soon the spiritof the board—a space where leaders ought to beallowed to feel and express vulnerability, and collectwisdom from others—is violated. Members are concerned about not looking foolish, so they withholdquestions or answers, and the quality of their work suffers.

Don’t let your ego get the best of you. Don’t ask ques-tions that undermine the good, collective efforts of others.

=86

Just Ask Leadership


How should I respond to goodquestions?

My fourth-grade teacher stood before us and said,“Class, I want you to understand that it’s not the answerthat’s important, but the question.” It was as if an angelhad floated down on a cloud and handed me a goldentruth. I knew that this statement was major. For oneshining moment, I was in love with Mrs. Middleschmidt.

She then revealed her question: “Class, can anyone tellme where Colorado is on the map?”

My ardor for Mrs. Middleshmidt dissipated into thechalk dust. I love Colorado, but neither that question northe answer was important.

People often give lip service to the importance of ques-tions but then proceed to ask closed-ended questions(like the Colorado question). Or they appreciate ques-tions—just so long as they’re the ones asking them. As aleader, you have an obligation not only to ask open-ended questions but also to welcome ones asked of you.

Rather than give credit for good questions, we some-times take a defensive posture—out of tiredness, embar-rassment (for not knowing the answer), or fear ofencouraging more questions. We are reminded of childrenasking question after question (“What are you doing?”“What’s that for?” “Who’s your best friend?” “If youdon’t like doing that, why do you do it?”). Eventually,

=87


questions grow tiresome, even if we love and respect ouraudience. So, sometimes we shut off questions before theyget a chance to annoy us (“That’s a stupid question”).

And yet questions come so naturally to us. They helpus make the right decisions. They help us lead organiza-tions. They help us stay on track. They move us frombeing stuck to being wonderfully unstuck.

People hail you like a conquering hero if you come upwith a great answer. But if you come up with a greatquestion, where’s the ticker-tape parade?

Applaud those who ask you good, important ques-tions. And be prepared to answer those that are askedof you.


How can I be more present inconversations?

“You don’t need to know what you’re going to ask nextif you really listen to what the person is saying,” said BobAronson, press secretary to former Minnesota governorRudy Perpich and highly sought after communicationcoach. Questions naturally rise to the surface if you’reengaged in the conversation. Veteran reporters know thisphenomenon to be true. During an interview, they don’tneed to consult a list of questions. They just listen andthe questions come effortlessly.

During comedy improvisations, the actors must riff offeverything their partners say—without the benefit of a

=88

Just Ask Leadership

safety net. With lots of practice, they learn to keep thecomedy and conversation moving forward, not stagnat-ing. Their exercises are geared toward thinking andreacting quickly while listening intently. Here’s an exam-ple of an improv exercise for you to try with a partner:

1. Each person thinks of a story (how a car pulledout of a parking space and knocked over yourgrocery cart) or a set of instructions (how tomake a pumpkin pie).

2. Face each other and tell your story or set ofinstructions simultaneously. Use hand gesturesand vary your tone to get the other person’sattention.

3. While you are each carrying on your monologue(for roughly two minutes), listen to what yourpartner is saying.

4. When you’re done with your monologues, try torecall exactly what your partner said.

Improv comedy bombs when one or both of the actorsdon’t react to what is said and instead say somethingthey’ve been preparing to say. These contributions don’tsound natural and aren’t usually funny because theydon’t stem organically from the conversation. And, if oneactor doesn’t build off a partner’s contribution to theconversation, the partner might get irritated. Pretty soon,the actors are competing against each other, not carry-ing the comedy together. This is why one of the founda-tional rules of improv is never to say “No” and shut

=89


down a partner’s attempt to take the conversation in anew direction. Partners must work in the spirit of coop-eration; otherwise, their exchange will run dry.

Leaders often think they know what a person is goingto say, stop listening, and begin forming their next ques-tion before the talker is finished. Like an ace reporter orsuccessful improv actor, stay with the conversation andlisten to all the nuances. Don’t drift off, and, by allmeans, don’t take an adversarial posture. If you doeither, the talker won’t want to help you accomplish yourgoals. The exchange will run dry.

If your responses flow organically from the conversa-tion, your coworkers will feel affirmed and engaged. Andif you’re listening closely, you’ll recognize the differencebetween “We should be able to meet that objective” and“We will meet that objective.” Picking up on thesenuances can mean the difference between success andfailure.

If polled, most leaders would say they’re great multi-taskers. They may think they are, but most people can’tactually do two things effectively at the same time. Whatmost people claim is multitasking is really doing twothings and moving between these tasks. How many timeshave you been on the phone and been annoyed when theother person is clearly working on the computer or read-ing something instead of focusing on the conversation?When you hang up the phone, do you feel like you’vereally been heard?

=90

Just Ask Leadership

Stay with the conversation. Stay present. The ques-tions will come naturally.


How do I show I am listening?

The consensus among leaders is that listening to theanswer is more important than asking the perfect ques-tion. Unfortunately, listening is fast becoming a lost art.According to Tom Madison, former president of US WestCommunications, “Young people, in particular, don’tknow how to listen. They are taught in college to listenfor facts, but not what lies behind the facts.”

Listening intently will allow you to grasp the motiva-tion behind the facts. It will also build trust between youand the speaker. Keep that in mind as you implementthese three tips to improve your listening:

1. Don’t let your mind wander. Zen masters cankeep their minds completely focused on onethought or conversation, but most of us can’t. Wemight, for instance, latch onto one piece ofinformation that the speaker has said. We grip ittightly and plan our response, rather than simplybook-marking this information and continuing tolisten. The speaker will sense our disengagement.Trust, confidence, and motivation will dip.Rather than hold onto one point, open yourself

=91


up to many others. Even if you forget the pointyou initially wanted to make, if you stay focusedon listening you’ll likely discover several otherways to propel the conversation forward.

2. Be patient. Leaders often have Type Apersonalities, so they want to complete others’sentences. Instead of interrupting, allowcoworkers adequate time to speak and askquestions. Doctors at the renowned Mayo Clinicin Rochester, Minnesota, pride themselves onpatience. They know that people can be reluctantto reveal personal, sometimes embarrassinginformation. Mayo doctors listen to theirpatients’ questions and “seemingly unrelated”information that might prove critical to reachinga correct diagnosis or customized treatment plan.Good doctors and good leaders have patience andmake better decisions as a result. They listen towhat is said, not what they believe will be said.

3. Don’t ask a question and then give an answer tosee if you were right. I was in a coaching exercisewith a CEO who summoned his accountant andasked, “What are our revenue and net profitsgoing to be this year?” Before she could answer,he said, “$5 million and $1 million, respectively.”He clearly wanted to demonstrate to me and toher that he was aware of the numbers. Thisperformance was about ego, and it did nothing to build his leadership. What’s the accountant’s

=92

Just Ask Leadership

incentive to try to answer that man’s questions inthe future? Wasn’t he communicating that hertime must not be valuable if she was going to be called into the office just so he could ask andanswer his own question? Does she now think he has nothing better to do with his time?Actually, these aren’t assumptions. This is what I discovered when I spoke with herafterward.

If you stay present in the conversation, are patient,and demonstrate respect for others, you’ll be a good listener. And you’ll be pleasantly surprised to find outhow prepared your coworkers are for their meetingswith you.


When should I seek advice fromcoworkers on my own work?

Leaders can be terrific question askers when it comes tohelping others, but when it comes to their own work theycan be tight-lipped and territorial. They may stubbornlyrefuse help.

In a national survey conducted by CO2 Partners, weasked employees, “How often does your boss ask foryour advice on solving a problem at work?” Here’s whatthey said:

• Seldom/Never 32.6%

=93


• Often/Occasionally 62.6%

• Don’t know 3.9%

Despite a nationwide trend toward increasing team-work and maximizing individual contributions, roughlya third of the workforce isn’t allowed to flex their prob-lem-solving muscles. What are leaders afraid of? Toomany good ideas? How many of these same leaders, doyou think, claim to be striving for higher employeeengagement?

Being asked to contribute a suggestion is a sign ofregard. That should be reason enough to ask for input.

Unfortunately, if the survey question had asked aboutsolving an “important” problem, I suspect the resultswould have been even more demoralizing. Too oftenleaders trust only themselves when the stakes are high,resulting in less input and greater employee alienation.

Among the other findings:

• Women are somewhat less likely than men (30.8 percent versus 34.7 percent) to be asked for input by an employer.

• The less education an employee has, the less likelyhe or she will be asked to contribute an idea.Forty percent of those with a high school diploma(or less education) reported seldom or never beingasked for advice, compared to just 20.9 percent ofcollege graduates.

• Likewise, 45.7 percent of employees earning lessthan $25,000 annually reported seldom or never

=94

Just Ask Leadership

being consulted, compared with just 24.7 percentof those earning more than $75,000.

• There were no significant differences among age groups.

The survey findings reflect top-down bias. How foolishto think that only the most educated or highest-rankingemployees are worthy of being consulted! Less-educatedworkers are often the most involved in product produc-tion and communicating with customers. They’re the onesI’d want to talk with first.

I would caution you against asking questions if youaren’t genuinely prepared to listen to responses, however.If you don’t show respect for input, the quality ofresponses will decline over time—“validating” yourreluctance to ask questions in the first place.


Why don’t my coworkers come to mefor advice?

Employees should look to their supervisors for work-related advice, but only 11 percent do, according to anInternet survey I conducted of 3,000 employees.

The bottom line is that supervisors can’t be trusted.This lack of trust can be traced to four sources. First,

supervisors are responsible for evaluating their employ-ees’ performance. As such, employees (especially ifthey’re relatively high up in the organization) don’t want

=95


to reveal weakness or ignorance to their immediate supe-riors. After all, this information could wind up on theirperformance reviews.

Second, organizational leaders don’t do a goodenough job of revealing their own weaknesses andknowledge gaps. Unless leaders do this—repeatedly,convincingly, and authentically—their coworkers won’tcome to them for advice. It’s just too much of a profes-sional risk.

Third, supervisors emit signals, if not outright state-ments, that they are too busy to be bothered. Theymight also unreasonably expect their employees to becompletely self-reliant or to already know all theanswers.

Last, supervisors simply might be adhering to the orga-nizational culture dictated by their bosses or employers(i.e., everyone for themselves). In this case, supervisorsare simply passing the distrust down the line.

If you want your coworkers to come to you ratherthan to seek counsel from peers, spouses, other seniorpartners, friends, or (worst of all) no one, prove thatyou are worthy of their trust. Make it clear that mis-takes or knowledge gaps are opportunities for improve-ment, not signs of weakness. Not only do questionsopen dialogue, they increase efficiency (by enabling theasker to avoid pointless pursuits). Instill in your cowork-ers the following message: to ask a question is to takeresponsibility.

=96

Just Ask Leadership


What will it take to win over the peopleagainst me?

Not everyone in your organization will support you oryour position all of the time. Even if your organizationconsists of only two people, you’re bound to run into dis-agreement. So, for important undertakings, ask yourself:

• Who has a stake in this matter?

• Are they strongly on board?

• Are they on board?

• Are they against me?

Focus on the ones against you. Don’t dismiss them aslunatics, misanthropes, or idiots—as tempting as thatresponse might be. And don’t expect them to be hit with“The Light” and get into line behind you. It’s up to youto build support for your leadership and address theirconcerns (e.g., unmet needs, lack of recognition oropportunities, perceived slights).

Try GPSing. Your goal is to gain their support. Yourposition is that they are against you, but why? Yourstrategy will depend upon their reason(s). You mighthave to convince them that the good of the group is moreimportant than the good of the individual, make a con-cession on an issue that’s important to them, or hash outan agreement that involves compromise on both parts.

=97


I know a vice president in a large multinational cor-poration who wants to be promoted to general manage-ment but who has been blocked by several coworkers,including his own boss. Questions helped him identifythe obstacles to his promotion:

• What is it that they don’t see in me?

• What competencies are they looking for me todevelop?

• What social networks might I have alienated, and why?

Try as he might, he still couldn’t grasp the rationalebehind his boss’s position. After all, this VP had alwaysperformed well. He’d made himself virtually indispensa-ble. That was it! His boss had no reason to object to hispromotion on worthiness grounds. It was self-interestthat kept his boss from supporting the promotion. Hecouldn’t bear losing this VP!

The people against you aren’t going to help you—some-times not even in identifying the reason(s) why they’reagainst you. It’s up to you to build the bridge across.

If you’re unable to bridge the gap between you andyour adversaries, consider the opposite approach: an ulti-matum. Select Comfort was one month away from bank-ruptcy when Bill McLaughlin took over the top job. Hedidn’t have the luxury of time to woo his critics over; thiswas the company’s last shot at financial solvency. Hewanted to position Select Comfort as the “Sleep Num-ber” company. He needed everyone on his top team to

=98

Just Ask Leadership

commit to that branding message. They had to be will-ing to bet their jobs on it. In a meeting with the seniorteam, he announced that anyone not in alignment withthe company’s new direction should see him after themeeting to discuss severance packages. Two people tookhim up on the offer. The rest stayed. Whatever objectionsthey had were automatically weakened by their decisionto remain with the company.

Do you know who the stakeholders are? Do you knowwhere you stand with them? Why are some peopleagainst you? What do you need to do to win their sup-port? Answer these questions and your undertakings willhave a much higher degree of success.


Can I trust my coworkers, and can theytrust me?

“You don’t have to be alone to feel lonely.”

—Ziggy

Richard Gelb, one-time CEO at Bristol-Myers Squibbs,had two assistants just to maintain his schedule. As aleader, you may not have two assistants, but your sched-ule is likely booked anywhere from two weeks to threemonths in advance. Your day begins with people and it’sgo, go, go from there. Coworkers trail you out the door atthe end of the day, still eager for your input and attention.

=99


You go home, expecting to breathe a little easier, but yourkids want to play and your partner wants to exchange sto-ries. In many ways, your mind is busier than it was atwork, since you’re interacting with family members andsimultaneously trying to solve residual work-related issues.

When your family goes to bed, you head to your homeoffice. Your mind is tired, but you’re finally by yourself.So, why do you feel such a profound loneliness? Howcould that be when you’ve had people around you allday and you’ve been itching to escape their requests andquestions? According to many leaders, loneliness seepsin because they feel the responsibility to solve not onlytheir problems but everyone else’s as well. It’s a loneli-ness borne from decision making and lack of trust.

Mary Brainerd, CEO of HealthPartners, rarely feelsalone in her work as a leader. She trusts her team andnaturally speaks in “we” language, not “I,” even whenpushed to take credit for an idea. When asked if she evergoes home at night with her mind reeling from a seem-ingly unsolvable work-related problem, she responded,“No. The problems of this organization have 9,000 peo-ple working towards solutions daily.” The successes andfailures of HealthPartners rest on all of the employees,so Mary sleeps easily.

If you want more separation between your private andwork lives, and if you, too, want to sleep easily, firstanswer the following questions:

• Do you trust all of your direct reports to solvetough problems?

=100

Just Ask Leadership

• Do you trust all of your staff with your career?

If you can’t answer these questions with a resoundingyes, then either you haven’t given your coworkers achance to earn your trust or some of them simply aren’ttrustworthy.

In order to have followers on whom you can rely, youmust first have the courage to trust them. By “trust,” Imean not just to follow your directions but also to usetheir judgment, creativity, and critical thinking to solveissues on their own or with their team.

Here are a few questions to test your trust level incoworkers:

• Do you bypass certain coworkers with importantprojects?

• Do you only have a few coworkers in your circleof trust?

• Do you often say or think, “It would be quickerto do this myself,” rather than delegate the projectto the appropriate coworker?

For your own peace of mind, you must put your careerin the hands of your coworkers. Teams only work whenthere is complete trust among all members—bothupward and downward in the organization. If you can’ttrust certain coworkers, you’re at risk of doing their jobs.In the process, you will wind up carrying their problems,leading to sleepless nights. Plus, if you don’t trust one ofyour coworkers, then it is likely that the rest of the team

=101


won’t either. Lack of trust leads to gossip and triangu-lating conversations. Naturally, you’ll want to distanceyourself from these cancerous activities. In doing so,you’ll isolate yourself from everyone, not just thecoworker you don’t trust.

If you don’t trust a coworker, you have two options:(1) learn what it is about this coworker that you don’ttrust and work toward a resolution or (2) move him orher out and bring in someone you and the team can trust.

There is no point assigning work to people you can’ttrust. After all, you won’t believe in the answers theyprovide. The more you trust your coworkers and theyprove worthy of that trust, the more the loneliness andsleeplessness will recede.


Why are leaders leaving myorganization?

Scott, a close friend of mine, served as chair of the edu-cation committee at a local synagogue. When we go outfor monthly sushi, he’s usually upbeat. That wasn’t thecase, though, when the head of the education programresigned and the rabbi hired a temporary replacementwithout first consulting Scott.

A week later, Scott brought up the issue of governanceand the rabbi’s executive decision at the board meeting.

=102

Just Ask Leadership

The board thought it was more important, however, todiscuss another member’s trip to Africa. Scott left feel-ing unappreciated, ill-used, and unheard.

What did the rabbi do wrong? Perhaps nothing froma line-of-authority standpoint. She must have feltempowered by the board to make such decisions, and theboard’s confirmation signaled that she was correct. Froma leadership standpoint, however, she failed. She couldhave easily involved Scott in the process. All she neededto do was ask, “Scott, what do you think we should doabout this?” or “Scott, I have an opportunity to hire atemporary replacement until we have time to really goout and do a search. How do you think I should handleit?” Instead, she conveyed the following unspoken mes-sages: “Scott, you’re not really needed here” and “I don’treally value your input.”

Scott is a highly educated and hugely successful attor-ney. Any board would hunger for his decision-makingability. People pay a lot of money for his counsel, and hewas willing to give it away for free.

Sadly, Scott decided his time was better spent else-where. He is no longer an active participant in the syn-agogue’s leadership. And, in all likelihood, the rabbi willcontinue to make executive decisions without first con-sulting others.

If you want the leaders in your organization to makemaking meaningful contributions, let them. If you don’t,they’ll go somewhere they can.

=103



How can I learn bad news sooner?

Mark Feil, a senior vice president at Global Crossingduring its boom time, appreciates great questions, but hecares more about what leaders do with the answers theyreceive. Do they see answers as an opportunity to gainbetter awareness of the organization’s culture, processes,and individuals? Or do they see them as an opportunityto lay blame?

Mark recalled a time when a senior executive atGlobal Crossing asked an assembly of customer servicereps, “What can we do better?” One rep said that therecent merger of five companies (all involved in telecom-munications) had created some logistical problems.When this executive pressed for the name of a particu-lar department that had performed badly, the rep reluc-tantly complied. The executive then got the head of theprovisioning department on speaker phone. He did a “flyby”—chewing the provisioning department head out infront of the others, then quickly leaving.

Imagine the fallout. The head of the provisioningdepartment was now ashamed and upset about beingcalled out publicly (and unexpectedly) by the CEO. Doyou think the customer service rep escaped withoutrepercussions? No way.

Yes, the executive likely spurred the provisioningdepartment to improve its work in the short term, buthe did so at the expense of intracompany harmony.

=104

Just Ask Leadership

You can ask the best questions in the world, but if youbetray trust by sharing answers inappropriately—evenonce—you won’t get good, honest feedback in the future.

If you want to hear bad news sooner, don’t engage inpublic shaming. Prove that you’re not only listening butalso handling feedback responsibly.


What can I do if a star employeeconstantly breaks the rules?

If your star employee doesn’t respect the rules, he or shemay be an “organizational terrorist.” Organizationalterrorists are aware of their power and use it to holdothers hostage. Naturally, organizational terroristsshouldn’t be confused with car-bombing terrorists or theperpetrators of the attacks on September 11, 2001, butthey don’t care if they do harm so long as their desiresare met.

Before confronting an organizational terrorist, askyourself, “How did this happen?” Search for the rootcause. Ask, “Is this behavior regularly tolerated?”Enron’s CEO learned that two traders were stealing fromthe company, but he did nothing to stop it. These traderswere very profitable, after all. The CEO’s lack of actionimplied that, if you were bringing in enough money, you,too, could steal.

In the process of establishing the root cause, you mustlook frankly at your own practices. If you determine

=105


that you were complicit with the situation, find a coachor mentor to help build boundaries with your team.Without making changes, you likely will face this issueagain.

Next, focus your attention on the star employee. Askyourself:

1. Is the employee capable of learning?

2. Do I have the time and resources available totrain this employee?

3. Is the employee motivated to learn and change?(Note: Organizational terrorists often are notmotivated to change since they are usually highlyproductive at their jobs.)

If the answer is yes to all three, then start the trainingprogram immediately. If the answer to any of these ques-tions is no, then the decision of whether to fire or trainis simple. As Donald Trump would say, “You’re fired!”

Since firing this employee could compromise the com-pany’s strategic direction, you should seek the advice ofother leaders in your organization, including those at thehighest level. It’s important to recognize the magnitudeof your decision; after all, diminished revenue (as a resultof the departure of the organizational terrorist) maymean having to fire others, not just this employee.

When meeting with other leaders, tell them the stepsyou have taken and ask these strategic questions:

=106

Just Ask Leadership

1. At what point are we willing to take a principledstance on the issue, despite lost revenue?

2. How will our decision affect other employees?

3. Will we need to make cuts to compensate for theloss of revenue?

4. How will our decision affect the industry?

5. If this employee is fired, will she go to work fora competitor?

6. What impact could this have?

By working with others to answer these questions,their feelings of problem ownership should increase andcomplaints directed at you should decrease. From myexperience, I foresee your team developing a plan thatresembles the following:

Part A: Continue coaching the employee.

Part B: Build the rest of the staff in order to reducedependence on the employee.

Part C: Start seeking a replacement.

Through all of this, make sure your team knows you’recoaching the employee and that his behavior is not beingtolerated. It’s inappropriate to say anything more aboutthis employee. Taking these steps will build your credibil-ity as a leader. And your organization will need strongleadership to avoid the creation of a terrorist cell and tostay upbeat after the loss of the star employee.

=107


Build Unity and Cooperation Summary

If you don’t reduce your need to be the bearer of truth,your coworkers may start to see you as an adversary,depart for more meaningful job opportunities, and leaveyou to crumble under the weight of too much responsi-bility. Instead of pushing your ideas and actions, concen-trate instead on the conversations that need to take place.Trust the wisdom of others (the crowd especially), pro-vided it aligns with the organization’s mission and values.Ask good and important questions (not gotcha questions)of everyone, not just your inner circle, and reinforce theserespectful questions with the proper tone. Listen to whatis said, not what you believe will be said, and handle thisfeedback responsibly.

=108

Just Ask Leadership


No problem can be solved from the same

consciousness that created it.

We must learn to see the world anew.

—Albert Einstein

a 111

aC h a p t e r 4

Create BetterDecisions—Getting theRight Answers by Askingthe Right Questions

When should you entrust decisions to others? Thischapter is divided into three sections (context,

clarity, and objectivity) to give a sense of how environ-ment, conflicting information, and biases can influencedecision making. If you don’t routinely ask, “Whosedecision is it?” you’ll fall into the trap of doing others’work. The more jobs you try to do, the more likely you’llfail or die of exhaustion. Learn how to direct decisionmaking to the appropriate party, seek clarification, andprovide solutions when appropriate. If you want

accountable coworkers, you must hold yourself account-able for not overstepping your bounds.

Context

1. Whose decision is it?

2. How can I avoid the “accountability spiral”?

3. Should I ask questions when I already have theanswer?

4. Why shouldn’t I try to solve everyone’s problems?

5. If I’m busy and a coworker asks me a question,what should I do?

6. In a crisis, is it better to ask or command?

7. When should I pick up a shovel and pitch in?

8. Do you think, or do you know?

Clarity

1. How can I avoid getting “wishy-washy”answers?

2. How does dissonance point to problems andopportunities?

3. How can I identify fallacious arguments?

4. Are there really no stupid questions?

5. How can I seek clarification without beingjudgmental?

6. How did curiosity kill the leader?

7. When is no answer the best answer?

8. When should I seek complex solutions toproblems?

=112

Just Ask Leadership

9. What question didn’t I ask?

10. When should I go over a coworker’s head toachieve my goals?

11. When should I provide solutions for my team?

12. How can I keep meetings on track?

Objectivity

1. What causes people to shut down and disengagefrom conversation?

2. What did I miss when I Blinked?

3. What should I do if I encounter conflicting data?

4. We’ve always done it that way, but why?

5. Why is it important to make a distinctionbetween me, the leader, and me, the person?

Create Better Decisions (Context) #1:

Whose decision is it?

As clients meet with me to discuss leadership, inevitablythe conversation turns to decision making. Making deci-sions is one of the most taxing job responsibilities forleaders. In my experience, leaders suffer more than theyshould because they make too many decisions. Often, it’sbecause they fail to ask, “Whose decision is it?”

When leaders take the burden of responsibility too far,they either want to protect others from making toughdecisions or they want to extend their power. The result

=113

Create Better Decisions—Getting the Right Answers by Asking…

is poor decision making because these leaders don’t havesufficient information. To make matters worse, thecoworkers who should make these decisions don’t gainvaluable experience. Instead of adhering to the old HarryS. Truman adage “the buck stops here,” these leadersshould do a better job of clarifying job responsibilities,trusting their coworkers to make good decisions, andthen holding them accountable.

Lord Carrington, whom I knew for a brief time, wasminister of the British Defense Department during theFalkland Islands war. The war was launched because ofa mistake a British radio operator made on one of thefrigates out at sea. Lord Carrington was obligated viaministerial responsibility (the British version of “the buckstops here”) to resign. After all, if he was doing his job,all those under his command must be doing their jobs,too, no matter how far removed—including the radiooperator. This practice is outdated, in part, because ittakes accountability away from the person who isdirectly responsible. And it results in leaders who areeither too controlling or unjustly blamed for the baddecisions of others.

“Perhaps you can help me with a problem I’m having,”Todd said as we sat down for coffee. Todd is a dear friendwho runs one of the largest financial services companieson the East Coast. “I have this woman who works forme. She’s grown her department by 30 percent in the last year, but she hasn’t been showing up at the weekly

=114

Just Ask Leadership

executive meetings even when she’s in the office. Her bossthinks everything’s fine and keeps citing the 30 percentfigure, but the competition in that industry segment isscoring even higher. Plus, her department is the doorwayinto my company for many customers.” I asked Toddwhat exactly the problem was. He said, “Her!”

“Are you sure?” I asked.Todd looked at me quizzically. I asked him whom she

reported to. He said, “She reports to Dave.” I then asked,“So whose problem is it?” Begrudgingly, he said, “Dave’s.”

As a leader, Todd shouldn’t ignore the fact that he hadheard complaints about this particular employee.Instead, he must hold Dave accountable for his people.Once Dave is alerted to the issue, it’s no longer Todd’sissue. If Dave fails to correct the problem, however, thenTodd must confront a new issue: Dave’s failure to man-age his charges.

Because the failure of the employee to attend his meet-ing affects Todd, I suggested a strategy that helps set clearboundaries. I encouraged him to cancel the next meetingif one or more people didn’t attend. The message wouldbe loud and clear: everyone’s participation is critical tothe process. And, based upon my experience, I doubtTodd would have to cancel more than one meeting.

Employee empowerment begins with leaders askingthemselves four words over and over: “Whose decisionis it?” Because coworkers might assume that leaders are exempt from the rules and can make any and all

=115


decisions, leaders must be extra vigilant about asking thisquestion.


How can I avoid the “accountabilityspiral”?

As part of a close-knit leadership team, you may bereluctant to ask tough questions of one another. A lotrides on maintaining friendly bonds with your fellowleaders. But when leaders don’t ask tough questions ofone another, accountability tends to spiral downward—toward lower-level workers who aren’t present.

Take this scenario: “We’re behind on our numbersbecause of Larry again. He does good work, but dead-lines for him are never final. If I want a report on mydesk by Friday afternoon, he thinks that means first thingMonday morning!” While Larry’s procrastination maybe the source of the problem, his manager’s failure is abigger concern. Her job, after all, is to ensure that Larrydoes his.

The best way to build accountability is to start at thetop. If all team leaders are held accountable for the per-formance of their units, they will employ strategies thatensure that their coworkers achieve success. Larry willknow that his procrastination isn’t his issue alone. Hiswork isn’t just a reflection of his manager; it is, in effect,

=116

Just Ask Leadership

her work, too. And if he doesn’t learn that, then his timein the organization will be short lived.

Don’t let accountability spiral downward. Hold every-one on the leadership team accountable. When a fellowleader badmouths “Larry,” don’t cluck your tongue andoffer sympathy. Ask, “What are you doing to solveLarry’s problem?”


Should I ask questions when I alreadyhave the answer?

According to Will Lansing, CEO and chairman ofShopNBC, “I ask questions to learn things that I don’tknow. I want to be transparent to my people. I never askquestions I have the answers to. My time is too valuableto waste playing games with my team, and they know it.”

Will learned a lot from working with Jack Welch atGeneral Electric. He recalled when Jack’s understandingof the plastics business didn’t match a report made by amanager in that particular division. Jack had an engi-neering degree and grew up in the plastics business, buthe didn’t assume that he was right and the other personwrong. He began by asking how the plastics business hadchanged in the past five years, with the intention ofupdating his knowledge and perhaps reconciling the dif-ference in opinion. “His goal was not to trap or trick hismanagement team,” said Will, “but to understand their

=117


perspective on the business that leads to their decisionmaking.”

Most leaders don’t believe that question-based lead-ership means that their businesses must, therefore,become democracies. When consensus isn’t reached,leaders must make unilateral decisions. If, however,their decisions always swing the way of their initialopinion, the quality of input from others will likelydecrease over time.

Will is always prepared to reassess his position. As aresult, his team feels comfortable sharing new insights,perspectives, and knowledge even after he’s made adecision.

Ask questions you want to know the answer to, butdon’t assume that your decisions or knowledge can’t beimproved.


Why shouldn’t I try to solve everyone’sproblems?

People often walk into my office with a problem. If I’m ina good place, I’ll ask many questions and help them solvetheir problem, so they can feel good about themselves. IfI’m in a bad place (low self-esteem, for example), I’ll askquestions that would help me solve the problem for them,so I can feel good about myself. The nature of the ques-tions change because the same questions that would help

=118

Just Ask Leadership

me solve the problem may be very different from the onesthey need to hear.

When we are solving someone else’s problem, we askfor all the background on the subject. After a lengthyfact-finding mission, we try to match the current prob-lem with a solution from the secondhand bin (our mem-ory of past successes). Unfortunately, this process rarelysucceeds because we can’t possibly know as much as theperson with the problem.

If I asked you to describe yesterday to me, you wouldprobably summarize your day in about five minutes. Ifyou’re a good storyteller, you might go off on a tangentfor five more minutes. If pressed, you might be able toadd another 20 minutes of detail. The likelihood of youtaking an entire day to describe what you did, observed,and thought would be remote at best.

Lester Crown is a member of the Maytag Board andone of the wealthiest men in the world according toForbes. As a mentor, he helped cure me of my desire tosolve others’ problems. He told me, “Someone whospends five days a week, eight hours a day, or the equiv-alent of 2,000 hours a year, is much more likely to knowhow to perform their job and solve their problems thanI will, especially if I am doing my job, not theirs.”

The person best equipped to solve a problem is the onewho lives with it every day. Don’t make decisions foryour coworkers. With questions, help them expand theirconsciousness so that they can see the world anew. Helpthem make their own decisions.

=119



If I’m busy and a coworker asks me aquestion, what should I do?

If you receive an unscheduled visit from a coworker,assess the relative urgency of your current activity andthe coworker’s need before making a decision.

A coworker says, “I just have a quick question for youbefore you leave.” You’re slipping your coat over onearm, juggling your briefcase in the other. Against yourbetter judgment, you say, “How can I help?” You’ve putup a yield sign and the coworker races through it: “Doyou think I should run this ad next week?”

While half your brain is focusing on your scheduledactivity, you’re also thinking: “Is this something I shouldbe deciding? Do I want to make this decision withoutfurther discussion or input from others? When does thisdecision need to be made? What if I say no?” Instead ofvoicing these concerns, you say, “Yes” and keep on walk-ing out the door.

The following week, you realize the cost of that snapdecision. Because the direct mail campaign launched lateand the 1–800 number on the ad didn’t get directed tothe call center, you’re putting out fires all week—allbecause you didn’t provide time for proper deliberationand questioning.

Imagine what would have happened if you had simplyasked about the urgency of the decision: “When does thisdecision need to be made?” If your coworker said, “By

=120

Just Ask Leadership

tomorrow afternoon,” you could delay the decision untilyou had more time and information. “Great,” you mighthave said, “why don’t you get on my calendar for halfan hour between now and then, and make sure you comewith your recommendation?”

In the future, by quickly identifying the level ofurgency, you’ll avoid making decisions that are not reallyyours to make. Often it’s not a coincidence that cowork-ers ask important questions just as you’re on your wayout. They may want you to take or share responsibilityfor decisions they themselves ought to make. If acoworker does this regularly, recognize it for what it is:responsibility avoidance. And take steps to curb thisbehavior pattern.

What if the coworker said that the decision needed tobe made in the next hour? If time is of the essence, deter-mine the decision’s significance. You might ask, “Whatare the consequences of making the wrong decision?”

Once you learned about the potential breach betweenthe call center and the direct mailers, you would weighit against your previously scheduled activity and its rel-ative urgency. Even if you were meeting your boss or apeer for lunch, you ought not to think twice about can-celing. No commitment, unless it takes a higher priorityto help you achieve the company’s overall goal, shouldkeep you from assisting with your coworker’s dilemma.Leadership is about allocation of resources, and you areone of the company’s most valuable resources. Once thesituation has been dealt with, however, address the

=121


coworker’s failure to bring this decision to your atten-tion earlier.

If you get caught in the hall or on your way out, do aquick calculation involving your scheduled activity, yourcoworker’s need, and the relative urgency of both. Askquestions that establish the timeframe and significanceof your coworker’s need, so you can make an informeddecision.


In a crisis, is it better to ask or command?

The conventional wisdom would have you believe thatwhen the pressure is on, leaders should tighten up thereins, ask less, and tell more. Research done by theNational Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA)suggests otherwise.

In an article titled “Effective Crisis Management”(New Management, Summer 1985), Robert Blake andJane Mouton from NASA’s Ames Research Center, whoinvestigated aviation failures in the 1970s, said, “Thepilots learned that when a captain centralizes authorityin himself, he in effect shuts out information that othersare capable of contributing. The pilots learned fromexperience that they were failing to recognize that oth-ers have knowledge and may be able to contribute to avalid and safe resolution of a crisis.”

=122

Just Ask Leadership

The British learned a similar lesson when German U-boats were sinking merchant ships in World War II.When the ships were hit and the crews disembarked, itwas not the younger, more fit merchant marines who sur-vived; it was the older ones. Kurt Hahn, a leading edu-cator at the time, discovered that older seamen weremore inclined to listen to others and work out a survivalplan together—despite the imminent dangers. Interest-ingly, from this research, Outward Bound was born.

If pilots (facing the likelihood of a crash) and merchantmarines (aboard a torpedoed ship) can make time to askquestions and consider alternatives, then perhaps youhave the time to listen to what your coworkers have tosay, even under duress.


When should I pick up a shovel and pitch in?

Leaders want to be good role models for their cowork-ers, so sometimes they put on a hard hat or lick envelopesto demonstrate that they’re not above anyone or any job in the organization. While the impulse is noble, it’s abad idea.

The data department in your organization is up allnight dealing with an issue that will drastically affectquarterly earnings. To be a good role model, you stay upall night. While you might be doing some short-term

=123


good (reducing everyone’s workload by a fraction), thereare long-term consequences. You send your coworkersthe message that you don’t trust them. And, frankly, theymight not appreciate the added tension of having towork side by side with you when there’s already plentyof incentive to get the job done. They might wonder,“Don’t you have more important things to do?” or“How is your energy going to be the next day whenyou’re needed to lead through this crisis?”

In trying to be the hero, you are likely doing moreharm than good. First of all, your coworkers may haveto spend some of their valuable time teaching you howto do their jobs. And, if you do their jobs easily and well,it might very well lower their morale, if they take pridein what they do. No short-term fix is worth loweringmorale—something that’s very hard to build.

Leaders need to be the visionary, the strategist—notthe frontline worker. Rather than picking up a shovel,pick up the phone. Make sure your coworkers have theresources and personnel they need, so that all-nightersare an aberration, not something they come to resent.


Do you think, or do you know?

All living things are changing or decomposing, so wecan’t have exact knowledge of them. According to Plato,only reason is eternally and universally precise.

=124

Just Ask Leadership

Try asking your coworkers, “Do you think, or doyou know?” It’s a question that can help determine ifthey are coming to you with theories and feelings or with knowledge gained from thorough reasoningand research. I got this valuable question from ChrisMahai, a partner at Aveus, who got it from one of her clients.

Like Plato, Heraclitus believed in the ever-changingnature of the world. He said, “We cannot step twice intothe same river.” As a cofounder of ACI, I did most jobsin the company at one time or another. About 14 yearsinto the business, we were having strategic discussionsabout sales, and I volunteered a solution. Lois Dirksen,the executive vice president of sales and service at ACI,said, “Gary, we now have 100-page scripts, not threepages, and the size of the database is a hundred timeswhat it was.” Needless to say, the process (or “river”)had changed. I should have been asking questions andacquiring wisdom instead of assuming I still knew theanswers.

Socrates loved wisdom, but didn’t consider himself tobe a sophist. The more he learned, the more he realizedhow much more there was to learn. Questions were crit-ical to his learning process. He always sought definitionsearly on in the discussion. If, for instance, the topic was“What is great leadership?” he would ask for a defini-tion of leadership. Just the act of defining terms acceler-ated and clarified thinking.

=125


Disputes and disagreements often occur because atopic is defined differently by both parties. Make sureyou and your coworkers are working with the same def-inition. Starting on common ground is important, but sois getting accurate results—knowledge, in other words.Don’t be satisfied with what your coworkers think orfeel. Make them demonstrate their positions with reasonand research.

Create Better Decisions (Clarity) #1:

How can I avoid getting “wishy-washy”answers?

On the TV sitcom Seinfeld, if customers at a populartakeout restaurant hemmed and hawed about their order,the man taking the orders, the “Soup Nazi,” wouldshout, “No soup for you!” I know the COO of a high-tech company who takes a similar approach. If hiscoworkers don’t come up with quick, accurate answersto his questions, he will instruct them not to return tohis office until they do.

Are you tired of hearing “about,” “perhaps,” “maybe,”“possible,” “a lot,” and “a little”? Wouldn’t you ratherhear, “I will complete this task by noon on the 27th,” “Wehave 20 closed accounts as of 8 a.m. this morning,” and“Revenue will be short by $200,024 this month unlessaccount ABC closes by the end of business today”?

=126

Just Ask Leadership

Don’t accept “wishy-washy” answers. Don’t let lazyor unprepared coworkers off the hook. Keep the ques-tions coming.

Some leaders follow the “Five Why” rule. They don’tstop asking, “Why?” until they have asked it five timesin a row. Granted, this can be annoying, especially forthose who have young children. But once your cowork-ers have been conditioned to expect, “Why?” your needto ask it will diminish over time. Instead your questionswill start to be more exploratory and forward-looking(e.g., “How might we apply this information to otherbusiness practices?”) and less focused on meeting dead-lines and keeping coworkers on task.

The former secretary of defense, Donald Rumsfeld,used to send out memos to his staff in a flurry. Thesememos, known as “snowflakes” in the Pentagon, mighthave been as simple as an FYI (“for your information”)about a certain topic. When the secretary of defensesends you an FYI, there is still a question attached to it:“Did you know about this?” If not, then you should getup to speed. In some of his other memos, the questionswere not veiled. “What do you know about this?” mighthave appeared with a request for a response by a speci-fied date.

Ask, “Why?” and follow up on the FYIs or “snow-flakes” that you send. When you slow down the rate ofquestions, the answers slow down, too.

=127



How does dissonance point to problemsand opportunities?

Dissonance is a combination of sounds that are discor-dant and unstable—in conflict, in other words. ThomasUrban, former CEO and chairman of Pioneer Hi-BredInternational, looked for conflict between what hiscoworkers said and how they acted. If a coworker spokeenthusiastically about a project but failed to make eyecontact, for instance, Tom’s dissonance detector went off.

If you’re hearing one thing but seeing or sensinganother, plumb the dissonance. If there’s a gap betweenthe work done and the work you expected to be done,study your coworkers’ body language. Try to pick up onnonverbal cues being transmitted. Are their voices low-ered or trailing off? Do they look uncomfortable? Arethey leaning toward the door?

When Tom detected dissonance, he tried to imaginethe question the speaker least wanted him to ask. Thenhe asked it. Interestingly, Tom found it easier to listen fordissonance and ask the right questions if the organiza-tion’s vision, plan, and goals were clear. After all, if heknew what key the symphony was in, it was much eas-ier to detect a wrong note.

Of course, you should be as attuned to your own bodylanguage as you are to your coworkers’. Maintain eyecontact. Sit up straight and lean forward. Don’t commu-nicate disinterest or impatience by tapping a pen against

=128

Just Ask Leadership

the desk. Make sure your mouth and body are sendingthe same message.


How can I identify fallaciousarguments?

A fallacy is a misconception resulting from incorrect rea-soning—the result, often, of deceptive behavior. Learn torecognize fallacious arguments and you will start seeingnew solutions, know when to ask for clarification, andavoid being manipulated.

Loaded questions are perhaps the easiest fallaciousarguments to detect. They don’t allow responders a viableexit. I might, for example, ask my eldest daughter, “Areyou still beating up your sister?” If she answers, “No!”she admits to beating up her sister earlier. If she answers,“Yes!” she also admits wrongdoing. Since this is an estab-lished joke in our family, the consequences aren’t signifi-cant. Imagine, though, if a boss asks his employee, “Areyou still having an issue with that software?” when, infact, the employee isn’t having problems and never has.Unless the employee has the presence of mind to exposethe question’s unfairness, she looks bad. Worse, she mightassume that one of her coworkers reported these allegedstruggles to the boss—creating a culture of distrust. In alllikelihood, she would simply answer, “No,” and thencommence an investigation of her colleagues, replay herown recent and past interactions with the boss, and seek

=129


an assessment of her software abilities—a waste of hertime, at the very least.

Intentional ambiguity is another type of fallaciousargument. Consider President Clinton’s statement abouthis relationship with Monica Lewinsky: “I did not havesexual relations with that woman.” By “sexual relations,”Clinton meant that he had not had sexual intercoursewith Lewinsky. He took a narrow view of the term buthoped that others would accept the broader implicationsof the term (meaning that he had no sexual contact withher at all). Of course, this intentional ambiguity was even-tually exposed and contributed to his impeachment.

Guilt-by-association fallacies stem from ill-formedlogic and laziness. Here’s an example: “If company XYZhas displayed some unethical behavior in the past, thenall their new practices must be unethical, too.” Suchstatements must be exploded with questions that illus-trate the dangers of simple-minded, reductive habits.Ask, “Can you think of one case when they behaved eth-ically?” or, “Has our organization ever made an ethicalbreach?” and “Haven’t we taken steps to prevent thatfrom happening again in the future?” Otherwise, youmight not learn about practices or products that mightprove valuable to your organization.

Fallacious arguments are often “outs” for people whofeel stumped or frustrated in the face of superior or antithetical logic. Mark Kennedy, a congressman fromMinnesota, couldn’t convince me that more nuclearweapons would improve the safety of the United States.

=130

Just Ask Leadership

Rather than continue his line of reasoning, he asked,“Do you want nuclear armament or a national securityrisk?” I recognized the loaded question and answered,“Do you think of this issue that simply?”

Recognize fallacious arguments for what they are: traps.A terrific list of such arguments appears on Don Lindsay’sWeb site (http://www.don-lindsay-archive.org/skeptic/arguments.html) and fallacyfiles.org (where I found theMonica Lewinski example above). The more versed youare in fallacious arguments, the better prepared you willbe to ask questions that will improve and clarify the think-ing of your coworkers.


Are there really no stupid questions?

“There are no stupid questions,” says Steve Wolff, CEOof AMS, a consulting company for the performing arts. In fact, questions that begin, “This may be a stupidquestion, but …” are devilishly effective. They can notonly prevent misunderstandings but also keep expecta-tions in check.

As a consultant, Steve is paid to ask questions. He’sfound that asking “stupid” questions gets people to openup, whereas pointed questions can put people on thedefensive (at least initially). When Steve spoke with theboard of a new art theater, he asked, “This may be a stu-pid question, but why are you building this theater?”

=131


http://www.don-lindsay-archive.org/skeptic/arguments.html

http://www.don-lindsay-archive.org/skeptic/arguments.html

The chair of the committee responded, “Not at all.Great question.” When in the midst of a huge project,people can get so focused on how it will be accom-plished, they often neglect the why. This might explainwhy the members of the committee proceeded to have along, productive conversation about their vision for thetheater. Steve learned that some committee membersbelieved that this community theater would immediatelybe the next Kennedy Center. Steve asked more “stupid”questions that guided them to more realistic expecta-tions. After all, the Kennedy Center, in Washington,D.C., was built in the 1960s and has spent decades build-ing a loyal following.

Columbo, the TV detective, mastered the art of look-ing confused when interrogating a suspect. Columbo’ssuspects were, of course, actors working from a script.So beware. If you dumb it down too much, your cowork-ers or clients won’t confide in you. They might evenwonder how you got your leadership position. But, ifyour questions are open-ended and your questionsbecome less “stupid” as they expose misunderstandingor unrealistic expectations, your results will rivalColumbo’s.

Yale Dolginow, president and CEO of Paper Ware-house, is another “stupid question” proselytizer. At thesecond meeting of a bank board, his head was awashwith acronyms. He asked, “This might be a stupid ques-tion, but do you have a sheet that defines all theseacronyms?” The board member next to him said, “That’s

=132

Just Ask Leadership

a great idea. I still don’t know what half of them mean.”He’d been on the board for 11 years!

Don’t let shame or embarrassment prevent you fromadmitting what you don’t know. Consider it an oppor-tunity to revisit protocols or decisions. What “stupidquestions” have you been holding back?


How can I seek clarification withoutbeing judgmental?

When judgment sneaks into questions, you would be bet-ter off not asking anything at all. Judgment-laden ques-tions like “You decided to send the survey to ourcustomers even though you knew it was full of mis-spellings?” are a passive aggressive way to express yourown opinion and diminish others. They provoke defen-sive “fight or flight” reactions and serve as a deterrentto initiative and risk taking (See “Are my values in align-ment with the four core human drives?” in Chapter 1and “What causes people to shut down and disengagefrom conversation?” later in this chapter).

We would all do well to take a page from the Quak-ers. A clearness committee convenes when a member ofthe Quaker community needs help. The group’s sole pur-pose is to give the troubled member clarity. First, the per-son who called the meeting describes the situation. Thegroup then acts without providing judgment, opinions,or insights. They operate on the assumption that the

=133


person has the capacity to resolve the situation. As a pre-caution, joiner questions or follow-up questions are pro-hibited, since they would likely nudge the one in needtoward a particular decision. Each question must standindependently.

A dear friend of mine asked a close circle of friends toassist him with a personal problem, in the tradition ofthe Quaker clearness committee. He’s a psychologist, andwhen a member of the committee asked, “If you wereyour own client, what would you do?” the answer cameto my friend instantly. Two years later, he still talks abouthow good it felt to resolve the issue “on his own.”

In my coaching business, when clients tell me a story,I often ask them to pause after the line, “I toldhim/her/them to . . . ”

“If you had asked a question, what would it be?” I ask.

If they act on impulse, they will typically shift to ajudgment question—only marginally better (and some-times worse) than, “I told them to . . . ”

“How would that question be helpful?”The response invariably is, “It wouldn’t.”“What question could you ask without judgment?”It can take a while to come up with a solution to this

question. That’s because judgment questions are simple,easy to form (“Why did you do that?”), and ego-boosting.

To break from the mental pattern of judgment questionstakes hard work. Good questions must be authentic, not

=134

Just Ask Leadership

leading. You must have a genuine interest in the answer.And you have to be willing to cede the discovery of thesolution to your coworker(s).

Are your questions laced with judgment? Do youalready have an opinion formed before your question isasked? If so, you’re not putting yourself in a position tohelp your coworkers. You should turn the critical lensinward. Ask, “Why do I need to be the one who isalways right? Why do I always need to get credit for thesolution?”


How did curiosity kill the leader?

When you log onto the Internet, do you stay focused onyour search, or do you occasionally follow strings ofcuriosity? If you’re like most leaders, you’re curious. Youask “Why?” questions a lot. These questions and yourcuriosity often lead to innovative solutions. On the otherhand, problems can arise when your curiosity takessomeone else for a ride.

If you’re conversing with coworkers about their work,be sure to frame your questions. Explain why you’re ask-ing a particular question (you want to gather informa-tion to make a decision yourself or you want to learnabout how this person is making a particular decision,for example), so that your coworkers don’t makeassumptions about what they should or shouldn’t be

=135


doing. If you fail to frame your questions, even if the set-ting is informal, your coworkers might assume that youwant them to set a new course using your questions as aguide. They might, for instance, take a simple clarifica-tion question (e.g., “Why are you using the hand-carvedornaments?”) as an indication that they should havemade a different decision (e.g., factory-made ornaments).

Tom Urban wandered around Pioneer Hi-Bred Inter-national at least one day each month. He would walkinto someone’s cube, look at the nameplate, and ask aspecific question. “So, Carol,” he might begin, “any newsurprises in accounting lately?” Whether there happenedto be any new surprises or not, Tom always shared thereason for his question before leaving (“I wanted toknow how we managed to reduce legal costs this quar-ter.”). He found if he didn’t communicate the “why,” thecoworker was likely to wonder about the reason for theCEO’s visit. Carol, for instance, might have wondered,Was there an accounting surprise that I should havefound? Maybe I should reexamine my process.

The old adage “a small turn from the captain of theship will turn major wheels down below” holds true.Know clearly what you want to accomplish with yourquestions and frame your questions so your coworkersknow the “why.” If you aren’t clear, you might wind up with unintended consequences—like factory-made ornaments or an unnecessary shift in accountingpractices.

=136

Just Ask Leadership


When is no answer the best answer?

“Be helpless, dumbfounded, unable to say yes or no.”This line from Rumi’s poem, “Zero Circle” suggests thatit’s okay to put off a decision.

As leaders, we’re expected to have answers. A quickanswer, though, is not always the right answer. It’s bestto give silence and thought to questions. In the processyou’ll open yourself up to possibilities.

When others feel discomfort because they can’t solvea problem, we want to help. We absorb some of their dis-comfort, creating even more pressure for a quick answer.Pausing and considering the question from all angles canfeel like needless delay. But sitting in that “helpless” lim-inal space can provide valuable insights. You mightdetermine, for example, that the true nature of the prob-lem is hiding behind a faulty question.

As ACI Telecentrics grew, Rick and I were eager to pro-vide call center services to Fortune 500 businesses, sincethey would provide us with two to five million dollars inannual revenue. We found, however, that although wewere allowed to participate in the request-for-proposal(RFP) process, we didn’t get site visits. At executive teammeetings we repeatedly asked ourselves, “How can we winour prospects’ business?” Only after we sat on this ques-tion for a long time did we realize the question we shouldhave been asking: “How can we win the RFP process?”

=137


The first question was so large, it was impossible totake action on it. In asking the more manageable RFPquestion, it occurred to us that our clients might havethe answer. We asked them why they bought our serv-ices, but found no commonality in their responses. Thenwe asked a client if he would send us all of our competi-tors’ proposals. He agreed, and we spent countless hourssifting through stacks of 60-page reports. Because someof our competitors were billion-dollar enterprises, wecouldn’t offer all that they could, but we could hire awriter to make our reports better than most. So we did.We began winning three out of four RFPs and receivedsite visits, which pushed us one step further along in thesales process.

Not everyone can sit in limbo, waiting for the rightquestion or answer to reveal itself. When I feel stuck, Ioften reach for food. Others reach for cigarettes. Somereach for their to-do list to stay busy. Some reach forchemicals. You may call peers, mentors, or family to helpyou get your bearings, and yet often all that is needed isstillness. Set down the phone, turn off the BlackBerry, andignore the tidal wave of incoming information. Sit still.

I once heard David Whyte recite a poem by DavidWagoner called “Lost.” The poem addresses the questionof what to do when you’re lost in the woods. Rather thanrun off in any direction, hoping it’s the right one, thepoem suggests you “stand still. The forest knows whereyou are. You must let it find you.” Learn the forest—treeby tree, gurgling brook by gurgling brook, mossy stone

=138

Just Ask Leadership

by mossy stone—before you act, so that you don’t run in circles.

Don’t let anxiety guide you. Take time to familiarizeyourself fully with the problem before settling on ananswer.


When should I seek complex solutionsto problems?

The best litmus test for whether a problem is simple orcomplex comes from the book Making Things Happenby Scott Berkun (O’Reilly Media, Inc., 2008). If theproblem takes a long time to describe, it’s complex. Ifnot, it’s simple.

For simple problems, chances are you can find the rootcause easily and derive a solution. For complex prob-lems, the root cause is often hard to identify and just ashard, if not harder, to solve. In my experience, complexproblems are usually best resolved by moving the deci-sion making down to the level that is experiencing theproblem. Consequently, knowing the nature of the prob-lem (simple or complicated) can prevent you from tryinga quick solution that only will be attending to a symp-tom of the underlying problem.

Tom Pritzker, chairman of Hyatt Corporation andMarmon Group Holdings, shared with me a story abouthow one complex workplace problem was solved. Oneof the companies he’s invested in had an opportunity to

=139


take on a big order from the military. The CEO asked theplant manager if he could cut the assembly time from six-and-a-half hours to four to accommodate the new order.The plant manager said the plant was at capacity andwouldn’t be able to produce the order in the timelinerequired; he had engineered the line himself and assuredthe CEO that it didn’t have any more throughput.

Rather than give up, the CEO decided to put the ques-tion to the assembly team. They shut down the line andin came these guys with rolled-up t-shirts, clean-shavenheads, and huge biceps. The first assembly line workersaid, “I don’t know how we can speed up the entire line,but I could shave considerable time from my area if Icould get shelves installed to stock inventory by mymachine.” After all the workers were given a chance toshow how they might accelerate the process, they hadcut the production time down not to four hours but tothree! As a result, not only did the CEO take the big neworder but the company also saw a huge reduction inlabor cost per item for all its business.

Sometimes even simple problems benefit from complexsolutions. At the Science Museum in St. Paul, Minnesota,I watched as two fourth-grade classes from my daughter’sschool matched up with their pen pals from anotherschool. One teacher took students individually and pairedthem with their pen pals, since they had never met in per-son before. Another teacher asked students just to go andfind their buddies. Which solution do you think workedfaster for this coordination problem? The latter. Allowing

=140

Just Ask Leadership

those closest to the problem solve it proved to be twice asfast as the command-and-control approach.

Later in the day, there was another opportunity totest these two approaches. The teachers needed toensure that all students were present and accounted forbefore they left the museum. One teacher took his classlist and checked off students as he spotted them. Theother teacher asked her class to count off from 1 to 20(the numbers had been previously assigned to the kids).With their consent, I timed the two teachers using astopwatch. The count-off process won, hands down.Again, the complex solution (requiring the involvementof many students) proved much faster than the simplesolution.

Before you go on the hunt for a solution by yourself,ask, “Is the problem complex or simple?” If it’s complex,take the problem to its source; move it down the organ-ization. Complex problems require complex solutions.Sometimes even simple problems benefit from complexsolutions, so be open to new methods. In general, trustthose who are most familiar with the problem to makethe right decisions.


What question didn’t I ask?

A CEO friend turned her retail company around by closing nonproductive assets, cutting costs, and retooling merchandise over the course of a year. While

=141


shareholders saw a significant return, her compensationdid not rise similarly. So, prior to the next board meet-ing, this CEO made her case for a raise to each boardmember individually—“Just like the textbook says todo,” she said.

The work of supervisory boards is rarely completed inthe boardroom. Meetings are often just a place to rub-ber-stamp decisions that have been hashed out before-hand. So imagine this CEO’s surprise when she learnedthat the board voted down the increased compensation—after every single board member had agreed to supporther cause privately.

It turned out that one of the board members was beinginvestigated by the Securities and Exchange Commission(SEC) for his role in another company’s dealings. He didn’t want to give the SEC the tiniest hint of impropri-ety. Increasing compensation, he felt, might draw theSEC’s attention. His passion and/or paranoia were soconvincing that the other board members were eventu-ally swayed.

Reflecting later, the CEO realized that there was onequestion she failed to ask of everyone: “What is the onething that would prevent you from voting for this?” Ifshe had asked this, she believes she could have achieveda different outcome.

What is the one question you haven’t asked? Be sureto ask it before a decision is made.

=142

Just Ask Leadership


When should I go over a coworker’shead to achieve my goals?

Before becoming CEO of EZ Payroll & Staffing, KayleNeeley was a vice president for Norwegian Cruise Line,one of the world’s largest travel companies. He wasrecruited to do for them what he had done for three otherorganizations in the past: install a unique marketing system that increases revenue dramatically. Despite hisimpressive track record, starting up a new business unitwithin a monolithic company presented considerable chal-lenges. Kayle had to dance with the elephants and swimwith the sharks to get his goals met—while constantlybumping up against bureaucracy and fiefdoms.

When Kayle told his boss, subordinates, or peers whathe wanted or needed from them in order to achieve hisgoals, he often met resistance. I asked him, “What if youasked them a question instead?” He wondered, “Whatwould that question be?” This is where true leaders rollup their sleeves and earn their money. We discussed thenuances of the problems for 10 to 20 minutes (e.g., thepeople involved, roles, company mission, situationspecifics) until he came to clarity about what the rightquestion would be. I then asked him to imagine the reac-tion of those involved. Kayle paused and said, “Theywould have gone along with it without a fight. I wouldn’t

=143


have had to explain my position over and over anddemonstrate how this would best serve the company.”

Kayle once presented a detailed plan of how the pay-ment system was going to bill the consumer for thetravel program. He estimated that the annual revenuefor this program would be in the hundreds of millionsof dollars; it was critical to the overall success of thebusiness. When the accounting department saw theplan, its reaction was “I’m sorry, but you’ll have todelay the plans for this project. We’ll need to add toomany staff to our department to deal with the increasein volume because our new billing system isn’t onlineyet.” Kayle was boiling inside when he got this message.Picture Popeye with steam whistling out of his ears andcorncob pipe.

My friend was ready to hit the hallways of “mahoganyrow” to make his case with the chairman of financialoperations (CFO) and CEO. He started imagining whathe was going to say. He’d done this before and eventu-ally won the day, but not without a strong emotionalcost and some lost relationships. Nobody likes to lose abattle, even if (sometimes especially if ) they’re on thesame team.

This time, however, Kayle paused and recalled mymotto: Just Ask. Instead of putting together a Power-Point show, demonstrating the cost delays to this revenuestream and making a case for its importance to the cor-poration, he simply wrote a short e-mail to the account-ing department. It read, “How many more staff will you

=144

Just Ask Leadership

need to add?” Its response: “Only two additionalemployees.” End of conflict. The CFO would never bringup such a paltry inconvenience to the CEO with such asignificant revenue stream at stake. My friend learnedthat asking questions not only helps motivate employeesbut also can prevent intracompany battles.

Don’t go over a coworker’s head without first seekingclarity by asking questions.


When should I provide solutions for my team?

A friend of mine, who has worked primarily at large For-tune 500 companies, assumes that by the time hercoworkers come to her, they have exhausted all possiblesolutions. She believes that strongly in their capability.

When I asked her whether, in hindsight, she foundthis to be true—did her coworkers actually do all thehard work of seeking the best solution, she answered,“No.” Because her coworkers know that occasionallyshe’ll do the heavy lifting to solve a problem, they don’talways push themselves to find answers. She strives tobe a Teflon Woman—keeping problems from sticking toher. Now she’s trying even harder. To be an effectiveleader, she knows that she has to be more resolute indelegating responsibility and creating authority. Shemust hold coworkers accountable for their own areas ofresponsibility.

=145


When coworkers come in to see her, she now asks,“What have you done to deal with this problem? Whereelse might you go to solve this issue?” They turn andwalk out the door, knowing that she won’t be doing theirwork. Some coworkers adjust to this framework soonerand easier than others. By maintaining the questioningposture, though, she can better assess whether they havetruly exhausted all possible solutions within their grasp.

Leaders who fall into the trap of completing theirteam’s work not only are stifling their coworkers’growth, they also are holding back their organization’sgrowth. If the leader is called upon to solve all or mostproblems, the organization does not benefit from thebrainpower of all of its employees. If the leader leaves oris unavailable, the remaining employees won’t beequipped to solve problems on their own. On the otherhand, if the leader asks his or her team members to solveproblems they encounter, there is a possibility for newand innovative thinking. And individuals will be moti-vated to be part of the solution rather than part of theproblem.

Assumptions like “when my team comes to me forhelp they must have exhausted all possible solutions” arehard to shake. Organizational assumptions can becomechronic. In one organization I observed, the outgoingleader didn’t want salespeople to work remotely. Thisassumption became so ingrained that when leadershipchanged, the rule about not working remotely remained.Some highly qualified sales job candidates were not hired

=146

Just Ask Leadership

as a result. When the new leader questioned this process,he was told, “It’s always been that way.”

Leaders must continually question assumptions—theirown and others’. Often vice presidents are not willing toquestion everything, so this becomes even a larger taskfor the president or CEO to accomplish. The exceptionalleaders I know challenge assumptions with questions. Inthe process, members of their teams become dynamicand innovative leaders in their own right.


How can I keep meetings on track?

Bob Aronson is one of the most respected communica-tion consultants in the country. He believes in question-based leadership, but he uses one question more than allothers: “So what?”

Bob got tired of meetings running on interminablybecause of irrelevant or uninspired comments. Now, anytime he feels conversation veering off on one of thesedetours, he trots out his trademark question: “So what?”

The result: his coworkers either get to the point or theytake a seat.

One of Bob’s clients loved this question so much, hehad it printed on everything. When you walked into anyof his conference rooms blazoned on the wall, poster-size, were the words “So what?” Soon afterward, thetime spent in meetings was sliced in half. The focus ofthe meetings became clearer. People reported feeling

=147


more productive and engaged. They no longer felt liketheir time was being wasted.

Give it a try and ask, “So what?” You really have noth-ing to lose—except half the time you spend in meetings.

Create Better Decisions (Objectivity) #1:

What causes people to shut down anddisengage from conversation?

Due to the power differential between you and yourcoworkers, you must learn not only how to tolerate crit-icism but also how to restrict your criticism of others.When we’re criticized, we feel like our bodies are underattack. According to neuroscientists, this fear or paniccauses our prehistoric, reptilian brain to flood withblood. Rational thought is restricted, and, instead, weconcentrate on our bodily impulses: fight or flight. A“flooded” person (whether it’s you or a coworker) is oflittle use when there’s a problem to be solved.

Debra, a COO of a very large food manufacturer in theSouthwest, grew tired of notifying department heads aboutproblems she found, like the shortened shelf life of a potatothat was roasted in a new type of oil. “I want to know whatwe’re doing to solve this problem!” she would demand atthe beginning of a meeting. “And why didn’t anyone bringthis problem to my attention?” She ranted and railedbecause she wanted her coworkers to detect and solve theseproblems in the future. Unfortunately, all they heard

=148

Just Ask Leadership

was: “She is out to find someone to blame!” Their brainssubsequently flooded, and they shifted into defense mode.

I invited Debra to consider a question-based approachto generate behavioral change. Rather than calling outindividuals in a public setting (which creates more ten-sion and, therefore, quicker flooding), here’s what I sug-gested she do:

1. Speak with individual department heads whenyou detect a problem in their specific areas.

2. Start by asking a general question (“How arethings going in your area?”).

3. Keep an open mind. If you let the coworkerdictate the conversation, you might learn thatthere are problems that dwarf the potato shelflife issue. Or you might find that the shelf lifewas a concession made as part of a largercost/benefit calculation. Or you might find thatthe coworker has been having personal problemsthat could be contributing to poor performance.

4. If you feel like the coworker is holding backinformation, ask a slightly more specific question(“What are the top five priorities in yourdepartment right now?”). You might learn thatthe problem with the shelf life has already beendetected. If so, you would now know whodetected the problem, how, and when. With thisinformation, you could set about correcting thissystemic problem.

=149


5. If the coworker does not consider the shelf lifeissue the top priority, ask why. You might findthat you need to reorder your priorities as a result.

6. If the coworker’s answer still does not take intoaccount all the consequences you foresee, drilldown one level deeper with your questions(“What impact will the shorter shelf life have oninventory?”).

Even constructive criticism can feel like an attack. Byasking respectful and open-ended questions, you disarmthe reptilian-brain functions. No longer will coworkersbe paralyzed by fight-or-flight responses. They will beprepared to work with you to detect and solve problems.

Remember that you are after the truth, not a body tohoist on a stick.


What did I miss when I Blinked?

In his bestselling book, Blink: The Power of ThinkingWithout Thinking (Little, Brown and Company, 2005),Malcolm Gladwell describes how intuition or snap judg-ments can prove superior to more analytical approaches.Think! Why Crucial Decisions Can’t Be Made in theBlink of an Eye (Threshold Editions, 2008), a rebuttal byMichael LeGault, takes the opposite stance—espousingthe importance of critical thinking.

=150

Just Ask Leadership

So, whom (Gladwell or LeGault) and what (your intu-ition or cognitive assessment) should you follow in anygiven situation?

Dan Frawley, CEO of Iconoculture, advocates usingboth sides of your brain: the left side that manages byordering and reasoning and the right side that makesmore creative and associative connections. In manyways, he lets the problem dictate how much of each sidehe uses. If the issue is one of disorder, logic might be thebest ally. If the problem is complex, intuition might pro-vide a creative solution.

If you feel that your intuition and rational mind are inconflict, don’t make a rash decision. Seek harmonybetween both sides of your brain. What data would con-firm your intuition’s impulse? What would make yourrational decision feel better? Use questions like these tofind answers that balance the equation.

Gen. Jack Chain was responsible for designing the B–2Bomber. To design such a massive plane, in such a largebureaucracy as the Pentagon, takes some doing. Gen.Chain knew from his years as a pilot that there was noneed for two of the plane’s four seats—the ones used bynavigators before the advent of navigational technology.But he needed more than intuition to convince thedoubters. He asked all stakeholders, “Why are all fourseats needed?” so that all conceivable defenses might sur-face. Once they had, he summarily dismissed them withsuperior logic, based largely on his knowledge of then-current technology.

=151


It’s harder, of course, to dismiss intuition than faultylogic, but intuition alone, without any logical support,does weaken eventually.

When your own intuition stubbornly resists over-whelming logic, ask yourself if you’re overly swayed byone recent event or some poor historical outcomes.Since you can’t turn intuition off, be sure to balance itat least with some hard questions and thorough factfinding.


What should I do if I encounterconflicting data?

When faced with conflicting data, we tend to select thedata that support our position and ignore the rest. Thatway, we can move forward quickly. Cognitive dissonance(the conflict of different cognitions), however, presentsan opportunity to learn and improve. And we would dowell to pause before making a decision.

Let’s say that you let a coworker go for performancereasons. Rather than take ownership of your part in thatcoworker’s failure, you instead focus your energy on hir-ing his replacement. The new hire is brimming withpotential. You won’t have to suffer through difficultconversations twice a week, inconsistent effort, andlapses in judgment. She will help convert the culture,

=152

Just Ask Leadership

manage others effortlessly, and excel on all fronts. Inshort, she will be able to read your mind and fulfill allyour expectations.

Before you celebrate, try to reconcile the seeminglyincompatible positions: yours and your former coworker’s.As tempting as it might be to lay all the blame at thatcoworker’s feet (especially since he’s no longer on thepremises), chances are that you contributed to his prob-lems. In what ways could you have been more helpful andsupportive? In what ways were your expectations unreal-istic? What would you find frustrating about his particu-lar job? Why might it be hard to work for you? If youdon’t ask and answer these questions, the shine on the newhire will dull quickly.


“We’ve always done it that way,” but why?

“We’ve always done it that way.” These are the most irri-tating words uttered in organizational life. As frustrat-ing as they are to hear, most leaders admit that they, too,have let these words escape their lips.

Mike Leary, former president of Dairy Queen Canada,actually likes to hear, “We’ve always done it that way.”He knows this phrase implies decisions made years and

=153


years ago, and probably by people who no longer workin the organization—people who listened to eight-tracktapes or rode buggies to work.

Just as seagulls are a harbinger of land, the words “we’vealways done it that way” are a sign of promise—the promise of more efficient and reasonable practices on the horizon.

At International Dairy Queen headquarters, Mikeasked a coworker why there were five carbon copies ofa particular purchasing form. The response: “We’vealways done it that way.” “Why?” Mike asked. Thank-fully, he didn’t hear the dreaded, “I don’t know,” whichwould have meant more people to question, moreresearch. Instead the coworker informed him that oneform was filed alphabetically and the others were filednumerically—two downstairs and two upstairs—so thatthe records could be accessed easily.

Some leaders would have ended the investigationthere. Mike asked, “Has anyone ever come to you andasked that you look a file up alphabetically?” He knewhow the process worked, now he wanted to know howwell it worked. “No,” the coworker answered. As itturns out, the form was available and generally accessedthrough the corporate computer system, so all five hardcopies were arguably unnecessary, not just the alphabet-ical one!

Here’s another story from Mike’s archive. In the cor-porate uniform department, he once overheard a cus-tomer service representative (CSR) say she did not have

=154

Just Ask Leadership

the authority to authorize a return of an unneeded gar-ment. When she got off the phone, Mike asked her whyshe needed approval from her supervisor on such aminor matter. She responded, “We’ve always done itthat way.”

Apparently CSRs could only approve a request for thereturn of a garment if the request was first approved bythe supervisor. Since the supervisor was frequently outof the office, CSRs had to tell customers that they hadto wait, sometimes for days. Despite the frustration feltby franchise reps and CSRs, the supervisor sanctionedthis convoluted process because International DairyQueen saved money by not handling uniform returns orexchanges.

“How do you think our customers rate our CSRs’abilities when the reps are not allowed to respond tothese inquiries at the time of the call?” Mike asked thesupervisor. First, they discussed the consequences—bothin terms of franchise/CSR/supervisor relationships andworkplace atmosphere. Then Mike, the supervisor, andCSRs ironed out a policy that allowed CSRs to author-ize garment requests. The result? Far less frustration andimproved relationships all around.

When you hear or say, “We’ve always done it thatway,” investigate further. There’s an opportunity for moreefficient and reasonable practices lurking. All it takes is alittle flossing. I know “flossing” sounds gross, but itmight help you to remember to do it. Use questions tofloss around beliefs, stories, values, and behaviors that

=155


may no longer have a place in your organization but havebecome embedded.


Why is it important to make adistinction between me, the leader, andme, the person?

In a movie, one character may yell and even strikeanother character. Actors train so that their emotionsand actions appear lifelike on screen. They embody theirroles when the camera is rolling. Later that night, how-ever, these same actors might go out to dinner and laughand joke the night away. They can and must separatethemselves from their roles.

The president of the United States is called “presi-dent,” even by those close to him, in part to remind himthat he must stay in this role (even after his term is over).He’s not Barack Obama, the man; he’s Barack Obama,the president of the United States. The decisions BarackObama (the man) might make could be very differentthan the ones he makes as president of the United States.We, the public, might have difficulty separating BarackObama from the role he plays, but Barack Obama mustact as leader of a large and diverse country, not as a pri-vate citizen.

If you’re a supervisor, manager, vice president, presi-dent, CEO, mother, father, coach, rabbi, or pastor, you’re

=156

Just Ask Leadership

playing a leadership role. In these roles, you’re eitherleading a part of an organization or the whole thing. Therole that you play isn’t who you are as a person. You willput your own personal stamp on that role, but you’renot the role itself.

Ronald A. Heifetz, King Hussein bin Talal Senior Lecturer in Public Leadership at Harvard University,explained to me why this distinction is so important tomake. He said that the questions you ask and the deci-sions you make will often be different, depending uponyour role.

The other day, the woman behind the counter at theDollar Store asked my daughter, “Do you think youshould carry that much money with you?” when mydaughter opened her wallet. A few days later, my daugh-ter set her purse down at Old Navy while trying on someclothes; before she knew it, the purse was gone. Anemployee found it in one of the changing rooms withoutthe money inside. You can imagine my daughter’s disap-pointment and regret.

That evening when I called from Chicago, she sharedthe day’s events with me. I wanted desperately to beempathetic and loving. The voice in my head was loudand clear—“Make your daughter happy, relieve her pain,and give her the money that was lost.” It was not a hugeamount of money to me, but it was the world to her.Instead, I listened, but I didn’t take her off the emotionalhook. She wasn’t in imminent danger and, in the longterm, she’ll be better equipped to own and learn from

=157


her decisions by suffering the loss of this money. Sheneeded her Dad at that moment, not a friend.

I’ve played many different roles: president, boardmember, follower, parent, child, and congregant. My per-sonal reactions and beliefs don’t fluctuate all that much.Only when I know and respect my roles, however, do Ido justice to myself and others. Sometimes I let my pri-vate convictions be made known, but at the end of theday, I act in the best interests of those I’ve been chargedto represent.

As an executive coach, I could benefit by asking easyquestions—questions that played to the strengths of indi-viduals or organizations. In so doing, I could get morework or even business equity. I owe it to my clients, how-ever, to challenge them to improve their performance. I ask the difficult questions.

As a leader, be clear about your role—to yourself andothers. Be aware of shifts from you, the person, to you,the leader. In almost every situation and setting, yourcharges will expect constancy and selflessness.

Create Better Decisions Summary

Give pause to questions. Take into account each ques-tion’s urgency, your coworker’s need, and the importanceof your scheduled activity, before taking action. Evenunder extreme duress (your plane is in a tailspin or yourship is sinking), you would do well to solicit input ratherthan act unilaterally. The best decisions are made by

=158

Just Ask Leadership

those best-equipped to make them, which often meansdirecting these decisions down the chain of command,not up.

If you’re not happy with the quality of responsesyou’re receiving, increase the frequency or the poignancyof your questions, or both. You will be more apt todetect dissonance and expose fallacious or lazy argu-ments this way. Try asking, “So what?” to encourageyour coworkers to get to the point, and frame your ques-tions, so they will better understand what your point is.When you hear “We’ve always done it that way,” chal-lenge the underpinnings of the assumptions in place. Andwhen you’re unsure of others’ logic, don’t be afraid toask a stupid question.

Rather than succumbing to the accountability spiral,address your responsibility in the repeated failures of acoworker. Balance your intuition with logic and seekunderstanding, not someone to blame. Bear in mind, too,that if you don’t regularly allow your opinions to beswayed, the quality of input you receive will deteriorateover time.

=159


Leaders probe and push with a curiosity that borders

on skepticism, making sure their questions are

answered with action.

—Jack Welch

a 161

aC h a p t e r 5

Motivate to Action—Asking for Success

How can you generate a sense of urgency withoutmeeting resistance or inertia? If questions are used

to intimidate, they won’t inspire. Tips for building rap-port, customizing incentives, and instilling respect areprovided here. The goal: a safe, accepting environmentthat cultivates creativity and heartfelt work.

1. How do I generate a sense of urgency?

2. What would you carve your name into next tothe words made this?

3. What leverage haven’t I used?

4. How can social proof inspire others to follow?

5. How can shared responses energize mycoworkers?

6. How do I avoid “the annoyance factor”(irritating coworkers with questions)?

7. When should I economize my questions?

8. What medium should I use—meeting, phone, or e-mail?

9. How can innuendo help me avoid confrontations?

10. How can suspending my beliefs inspire mycoworkers and resolve conflicts?

11. How can feelings and identity make consensusdifficult?

12. When should I use “How” and “What”questions?

13. How do I get the best out of my best performers?

14. What is the difference between challengingquestions and intimidating questions?

15. Why did the Catholic Church create the devil’sadvocate?

16. How do I gain respect by admitting ignoranceand seeking to understand?

17. Why is it so hard to hand off the leadershipbaton?

Motivate to Action #1:

How do I generate a sense of urgency?

According to legend, the Spanish conqueror HernánCortés set fire to his own ships, so that his grossly out-numbered crew would be motivated to attack the Aztecs

=162

Just Ask Leadership

in Mexico. With that act, he changed the question from“Why should we attack?” to “How will we win thefight?” The incentive was now eminently clear to crewmembers—saving their own lives. They no longer had aplan B to fall back on. Interestingly, the Aztecs, who wit-nessed the burning of the ships, fled in fear. They didnot want any part of a fight against a foe that confidentof victory.

When Janet Froetscher was hired to be executive direc-tor of United Way of Chicago, she was given the Her-culean task of bringing together 54 separate United Waysin the Greater Chicago area. This had been an objectivesince the 1960s but had never been accomplished. Eachorganization stood behind its own independent andnoble causes, unwilling to put aside differences and cen-tralize power. Janet didn’t set fire to any ships, but, likeCortés, she took away the escape routes for these inde-pendent organizations. She vowed to pull the charters ofeach United Way that didn’t cooperate with the unifica-tion effort.

Once there were no escape routes for the individualUnited Ways, they put their attention and effort towardaccomplishing the goal. Janet had changed the overarch-ing question from “Why should we consolidate?” to“How will we consolidate?” It helped, of course, thatthese organizations shared a larger incentive: helpingtheir constituents. CEOs and board members had to giveup their positions, so the work was not easy, but all par-ties came to the table and hashed out a workable plan.

=163


The result—the consolidation generated administrativesavings of over $3 million, which fell directly to the peo-ple they served. This documented efficiency (they saved24 cents on every dollar) in turn made it easier for UnitedWay Chicago to generate more funding from donors farinto the future.

If you cut off escape routes, all attention and effortwill go to the goal. The question will change from “Whyshould we …?” to “How will we …?” The morale ofyour coworkers will likely be higher, though, if you havea noble goal, as Janet did, rather than threatening yourcrew’s lives, as Cortés did!


What would you carve your name intonext to the words made this?

Former president of Dairy Queen Canada, Mike Leary,spent 30 years with International Dairy Queen, posingquestions and sharing stories, as many exceptional lead-ers do. One of his favorite stories to tell new employeeswas that of a 24-year-old sculptor, Michelangelo, com-missioned to create “The Pieta.”

From one large slab of marble, Michelangelo carvedthe figure of Jesus draped over the Virgin Mary’s armsand lap. The process took him nearly two years. Whenit was done, this masterpiece was displayed in the Chapel

=164

Just Ask Leadership

of Santa Petronilla, a Roman mausoleum near St. Peter’s.According to legend, Michelangelo overheard someoneremark that it was the work of another sculptor. That prompted Michelangelo to carve “Michaela[n]gelusBonarotus Florentin[us] Facieba[t]” (MichelangeloBuonarroti, Florentine, made this) on a sash runningacross Mary’s breasts.

When he finished this story, Mike Leary would ask hiscoworker, “What project or achievement here do youwant to be remembered for? What would you carve yourname into, next to the words made this?”

One of the strongest motivating factors is the desire tobe remembered. Mike wanted his team to link this desirewith the organization. And he wanted his team to knowthat their work would be appreciated with the reverenceit deserved.

An important historical footnote and caution to lead-ers: Michelangelo always regretted his explosion of van-ity and never again signed one of his works. Share thisdetail with your coworkers, too. Remind them that, inthe end, what really matters is that you are proud to bemaking a meaningful contribution to the success of theorganization. Due appreciation and credit will likely fol-low—especially if your trail of accomplishments is asimpressive as Michelangelo’s!

What are your coworkers sculpting that meets theneeds of both the organization and the passion that theywant to be known for?

=165



What leverage haven’t I used?

Dick Seidenstricker, COO, Liberty Diversified Industriesand former manager, Baxter Pharmaceutical, wonderedhow he could motivate his sales team at Baxter to be thebest. Clearly, the trip offered to the top performers in thepast wasn’t enough. Or was it?

If his coworkers didn’t fully appreciate a trip toSwitzerland, Dick thought maybe their spouses would.Dick asked his wife to write a letter to all the otherspouses saying how she had always wanted to go on oneof these reward trips. She also included a brochure.

Dick received a lot of flak from his sales team, but hedidn’t let it deter him. Throughout the year, he sent gen-tle reminders to the spouses like a Swiss chocolate barwith the message, “How sweet it would be to go toSwitzerland together” He also sent a Swiss Army knifewith a similar message.

That year he sent three coworkers on the trip, as thesales team rose to fifth among sales regions. The follow-ing year Dick and his wife joined seven others on thetrip—the result of achieving his long-sought-after goal,being the top sales region at Baxter.

When you consider the question, “How can I motivatemy team?” toss out your usual bag of tricks. Try anentirely new motivational technique. Ask, “What lever-age haven’t I used?”

=166

Just Ask Leadership


How can social proof inspire others to follow?

We adopt the traits or preferences of people we respectand admire—a psychological tendency called socialproof. Naturally, corporations have picked up on thistendency and employed it in their advertising.

Head was one, if not the first, sports company to hirethe world’s best athletes to use its products. Since manyamateur skiers admired the professional athletes whoused Head skis, they naturally bought Head skis forthemselves. This strategy helped propel the Head brandto new heights.

Leaders have used social proof for ages to gain sta-tus or leverage. Benjamin Franklin used to roll a cartof paper down the street late in the afternoon so thatcustomers, coworkers, and civic-oriented people sawthat he was a hard worker. Because he also arrived atwork early, he was in a position to question the workethic of others: “John, getting a late start today?” hemight ask.

If your coworkers admire your traits or preferences(not simply your job title), they will follow you. Bear inmind that leading, unlike skiing, is not an individual per-formance. The propensity of your coworkers to followyou is directly related to your ability to connect withthem. Ask them about their motivations, listen to their

=167


ideas, and reward them for their contributions. They,too, will become selfless askers—and inspire others inthe process.


How can shared responses energize my coworkers?

As new recruits pulled up to the Paris Island Marinetraining base, the drill sergeant screamed, “This is mybus, not your bus! Let’s move, let’s move, let’s move! Doyou understand?”

The entire group of leaders, myself included, yelledback, “Yes, sir!” We hadn’t had any training. Granted,we’d probably all seen war movies, but nothing quiteprepared us for the energizing feeling of yelling in uni-son with a group of strangers. The esprit de corpscouldn’t have been higher—and we hadn’t even left thebus yet!

Tony Robbins, one of the world’s best known coaches,asks his audiences to say, “Aye,” if they agree. Whileattending Harvard Business School’s Owner/PresidentManagement Program, my classmates and I went to lis-ten to Robbins on a lark. It was free, and we thought wewould have a good laugh. Instead, we walked awayinspired, energetic, and enthusiastic. The event broughtus closer as a group, too, simply because we’d allrepeated “Aye” back to Tony in unison.

=168

Just Ask Leadership

In a meeting, after you believe you have consensus, askthe group to say, “Agree.” I assure you, hearing thateveryone is on board will strengthen the determinationof the group.

The Marines say, “Ooh-rah,” and the Army says,“Hoo-ah,” in response to questions. It’s a way of saying,“We’re all in this together and belong.” How do you andyour coworkers communicate this message?


How do I avoid “the annoyance factor”(irritating coworkers with questions)?

Can questions become annoying? What do you think?What do you really think? Do you really think so?

Nobody likes to be barraged with questions, especiallyif they’re all essentially the same (with slight rephrasing).People also don’t like to be asked leading questions.When you receive a sour face or a particularly loud sigh,it could be because you’re making coworkers fish for aspecific answer. If you know exactly what you want,don’t play games. This is when you should tell, not ask.

One key to avoiding the “annoyance factor” is to askyourself, “Whose decision is it?” when coworkers firstconfront you with a problem. If you’re the appropriatedecision maker, you need to pitch your questions so thatyour direct reports will provide you the information youneed. If not, you need to ask nonleading questions that

=169


will assist your direct reports with making their owndecisions. If you’re unsure about who’ll make the ulti-mate decision, you’ll often ask the wrong questions andannoy (or confuse) your coworkers.

If you’re the decision maker, your first questions likelywill revolve around establishing the problem. It’s a mis-take to try to solve problems before fully understandingtheir complexity. Once you have a lay of the land, brain-storm potential solutions, rank the best options, deter-mine who’ll be responsible for implementing the plan,assign a timeline and communication plan, and build ina feedback loop to ensure that all aspects have been donecorrectly.

Sometimes coworkers will encourage you to make adecision when, in fact, they’re simply shirking theirresponsibility. No matter how much they slump theirshoulders and give hangdog looks, you must not maketheir decisions for them. If you do, be prepared to makemore and more decisions for them in the future. Prettysoon, you might as well assume their job titles.

How can you help others make decisions on theirown? What sort of questions should you ask? How doyou provide wisdom without explaining exactly how toaccomplish the objective? First, be clear about your role.Here’s what you might say: “I really would like to helpyou with this issue, but I won’t provide you with ananswer because this is your decision to make and I trustyou to make the call.” Then ask your coworkers todefine the problem in detail, describe potential solutions

=170

Just Ask Leadership

and their relative merits, and defend the solution theycurrently favor. Have them jot down their own answers.Explain that you won’t be doing anything with thisinformation. The decision is still the individualcoworker’s to make.

If you’re not the decision maker, remember thatyou’re the teacher, not the student. If you position your-self as the student, you’ll subtly suggest to yourcoworker that you intend to come to an independentdecision about the problem (even if you never revealyour decision). By positioning yourself as the teacher,you’ll impart a valuable message to your directreports—trust. You trust them to fully establish theproblem and make their own problem-solving decisions.And you’ve helped define boundaries—your role versustheir role. Your coworkers will leave your office inspiredto make good decisions.

Leaders can use questions to shirk their own respon-sibilities. A venture capitalist told me how the seniorpartners at her company provided assignments to juniorassociates without any explanation or resources. Whenthe junior associates went to the seniors for help, theywould engage in annoyance factor questioning. The jun-ior associates would ask for direction, and the seniorpartners would say, “How do you think it should bedone?” Inwardly the junior associates were saying, “If Iknew that, I wouldn’t have come to ask you!”

Sometimes leaders behave irresponsibly becausethey’re intent on reenacting what happened to them as

=171


junior associates. If I had to suffer, why should it be anydifferent for my charges? Instead, a true leader wouldask, “Why did this system work so poorly when I wasa junior associate?” and, “How can we improve theperformance and morale of our junior coworkers?”Leaders seek to uproot dysfunctional systems, not per-petuate them.

To avoid the annoyance factor, determine who is theappropriate decision maker for the problem at hand. Ifthe decision is your coworkers’ to make, let them makeit. Ask nonleading questions and embody the role ofteacher, not student. Be sure your coworkers have a clearobjective and access to enough information andresources to complete their work. And convey your trustin them to make sound decisions.


When should I economize myquestions?

Gary Stern believes you can overuse, even abuse the priv-ilege of asking questions. He says, “It’s all about theeconomy of questions,” which is fitting, coming from thehead of the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis.

Dieter Pape, CEO of North American Bison Cooper-ative, also tries to economize his questions (and avoidthe annoyance factor). Before he and his team took the

=172

Just Ask Leadership

North American Bison Cooperative out of Chapter 11and into profitability, he grilled his vice president ofsales, Tom, with questions in front of the senior team.“You have to know when to stop,” Dieter said to me. “I learned from that experience. Because of all my ques-tions, Tom became unsure of himself and felt hung outto dry in front of his peers.”

If you keep firing questions at a particular coworker,she might feel inadequate and angry at you for exposingher lack of knowledge to others. Take into account thesetting, the participants, and the purpose. If yourcoworker is in the first stage of a project, don’t pepperher with questions relating to the fifth or sixth stage,unless you’re certain she doesn’t feel overwhelmed. Beconscious of body language and her contributions to thediscussion. If they start to lag and she gets defensive orher tone drops, you’ve likely gone too far.

If you do go too far, you would do well to followDieter’s lead. He apologized first to Tom in private, andthen extended the apology a second time, this time infront of the entire senior team.

The public apology helped Dieter’s coworkers under-stand both the value of questions and the damage whenused inappropriately or in excess. Since then, they aremore comfortable alerting Dieter to times when he’spushing the question quotient.

To his credit, Dieter is able to maintain a sense ofhumor about his penchant for question asking. When

=173


Tom bought Dieter a large bottle of pills (jelly beans,actually) labeled “Anti-Hypothesis Pills” for his birth-day, it brought down the house with laughter.


What medium should I use—meeting,phone, or e-mail?

The question you ask matters, but so does the medium.Meetings enable you to detect dissonance—physical reac-tions or gestures that conflict with oral statements. Thephone allows you to impart the proper tone. E-mail, onthe other hand, doesn’t interrupt the responder, is effi-cient, and provides a written register of the exchange.

Each medium has its share of drawbacks. Meetingstake up a considerable amount of time (not just the meet-ings themselves, but the scheduling component) and maybe impractical. The pressure to answer a call from a CEOor manager will likely cause employees to suspend what-ever they are doing, maybe even leave a meeting. That’sbecause a phone call suggests importance and the needfor immediate action. E-mails can also call for immedi-ate action, but they aren’t as disruptive. On the otherhand, their content may be misinterpreted, and there’s noassurance when or if the recipient will read the message.

At the end of the day, e-mail is still the preferredmethod of communication for most people.

=174

Just Ask Leadership

“I use e-mail all the time to ask questions. It’s a greatway to get things moving and sorted out, if you have asense of urgency like I do,” says Jerry Storch, chairmanand CEO of Toys “R” Us. Recently, when dealing witha product that was unfairly deemed unsafe, Toys “R” Uspulled the product from shelves (with the intention ofreturning it to stores at a later date). This actionprompted consumers to become more concerned aboutthe product’s safety. Jerry e-mailed five departmentheads, and within several hours they reached a decision.They would not continue to stock the product. “If I haddone it the typical way, calling a meeting on this issue, itwould have taken two weeks to get us all in the sameroom. Many junior executives’ time would have beentied up in the meantime—putting together all the sup-porting data for each opinion and making them lookgreat for the meeting. All that research would have beenneeded had this issue become more complicated; how-ever, it was not that complex.”

E-mail can certainly save time, if it’s used appropri-ately. Here are several safeguards that Jerry uses to avoidthe limitations of e-mail:

1. He takes pains to convince the e-mail recipientthat the question he is asking is not just astatement hiding in the form of a question.

2. He suggests a timeframe for how long therecipient ought to spend on the question (which

=175


helps frame his expectations) and provides adeadline for the response.

3. If he feels the tone might be misinterpreted, hehas the human resources department or someonehe trusts (like his wife, Jackie) vet it first.

Have you chosen the right medium for the questionyou want to ask? Have you built in safeguards to ensurethat your message is clearly communicated?


How can innuendo help me avoidconfrontations?

If you confront your coworkers about every issue headon, they will come to dread your approach. While plain-spoken language is certainly preferable to lies and plati-tudes, it can wear thin. If you want to avoid unnecessaryconfrontation, try innuendo. Innuendo allows you tonavigate relationships with a safety buffer, according toSteven Pinker, Johnstone Family Professor of Psychologyat Harvard University.

A senior vice president at The Associates, one of theoldest financing companies in the country (they providedthe financing for the Model T), wore a pink shirt to workone day, violating the dress code. His boss simply asked,“Everything okay, Bob?” The question presented no riskto Bob if he responded to the explicit question. Bob’sboss, however, was giving him an opportunity to answer

=176

Just Ask Leadership

another, implicit question: “Why are you violating thedress code?” If Bob’s boss had asked that question out-right, the tenor of the conversation would have turnedserious and potentially contentious. By using innuendo,he was politely nudging Bob back into compliance andgiving Bob an opportunity to raise a dress-code frustra-tion or another problem himself.

Be careful not to cross the line between innuendo andleading questions, however. “Bob, is there something youwant to tell me about that shirt?” and “Are you sure youwant to hire that particular candle manufacturer?” arequestions that funnel the responder toward a particularanswer—your answer.

Sexual innuendos aren’t ever appropriate. They’remore likely to bring a lawsuit than provide a safetybuffer! So be careful when you’re making oblique refer-ences to decisions or behavior. But don’t be afraid to addinnuendo to your toolkit of question-based leadership.When used properly, in an unthreatening and discreetmanner, they can provide a valuable safety buffer fromconfrontations.


How can suspending my beliefs inspiremy coworkers and resolve conflicts?

Dan Craft, who wrote a training manual for the FBI, toldme that people always act in concert with their belief sys-tems. Their belief systems may not be conventional, but

=177


even serial killers have an interior logic that dictates theirbehavior.

To grow as a person and empower your coworkers,you must suspend your beliefs while listening to others.In doing so, you’ll open your belief system to new anglesand insights, and your questions won’t carry a tone ofdisbelief or judgment. Not surprisingly, if you demon-strate a willingness to understand others’ beliefs, they’llbe more apt to embrace yours or accept a compromise.On the other hand, if you demand that everyone sub-scribe to your beliefs, you’ll have few true followers.

Jay Chiat, the Apple marketing genius, kept an indexcard in his pocket that read, “What if they are right?”Because he was so often right, coworkers rarely gave himmuch of a fight once he made his opinion known. Heneeded a reminder that he could be wrong on occasion.He challenged his beliefs, even if everyone else bowed tohis authority.

Leaders are not the only ones who are overly protec-tive of their beliefs. If you find resistance during conver-sations with coworkers, invite them to suspend theirbeliefs for just five minutes. If you ask and they comply,they’ll more likely look for and accept the merit in yourposition.

Just because your beliefs are deeply embedded doesn’tmean that they should be held sacrosanct or that therecan’t be value in a different belief system. Open yourselfup to new perspectives. Suspend your own beliefs for justfive minutes.

=178

Just Ask Leadership


How can feelings and identity makeconsensus difficult?

In Difficult Conversations (Penguin, 2000), DouglasStone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen identify three rootcauses of conflicts: identity, feelings, and situation. Thesituation—the pros and cons for each side—is typicallyall that’s voiced by the participants in an argument. Butidentity and feelings run deeper, and they can make anysituation hard, if not impossible, to resolve satisfactorilyfor all parties.

For 15 years, one faction in my neighborhood haswanted to install water pumps to reduce algae build-upin the pond; the opposing faction held fast, citing the costof the project. At a neighborhood meeting, I asked,“How is your identity at stake in this issue?” and “Whatsort of emotional investment do you have in the out-come?” The conflict became much clearer. The peoplewho didn’t live on the pond didn’t see how the projectwould add to their property value, so they felt like theywere being taken advantage of. Those who lived on thepond felt that reducing the mosquito population andimproving the general appearance of the neighborhoodwas reason enough for the water pumps. They felt liketheir progressive actions weren’t receiving due respect.Once identities and feelings were acknowledged andassuaged, all the neighborhood members voted unani-mously in favor of the water pumps.

=179


Difficult conversations can deteriorate relationships,trust, and motivation for all involved. Ask questions todetermine how feelings and identity might be muddyingthe situation, so that you can get unstuck and movecloser toward consensus.


When should I use “How” and “What” questions?

When Catherine Smith made her most recent job change(from COO/CIO to CEO of three U.S. business lines atING), she had to adjust her management style. Thefront-office and finance managers didn’t need consider-able direction and oversight—unlike the back-officeworkers she previously led. In fact, this seasoned andself-confident group would have found that approachinsulting.

Her back-office experience gave her insight into a lot ofING departments, but she had to learn how ING’s com-petitors operated and the key drivers to ING’s success. Sheasked her new coworkers to help bring her up to speed onthese topics. She asked more questions that began with“what” than “how.” In the process, she demonstratedregard for her coworkers’ knowledge, skills, and processes.Now, she says, they know they can influence the outcomeof decisions, which has created more buy-in, improveddecisions, and increased team spirit.

=180

Just Ask Leadership

“How” questions can imply a concern about methods.“What” questions generally convey a simple desire forinformation and confidence in the answerer’s abilities toobtain that information. Which questions do you usemore with your coworkers? If your coworkers aremounting resistance, maybe you’re using more “How”questions than you realize or need.


How do I get the best out of my best performers?

You have likely heard the expression “You can lead ahorse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” TomSteitz doesn’t fully accept that logic. Here’s his take:“Maybe you can’t make a horse drink, but you sure cantie him to a post in the desert for a few days and feedhim salt and then see what he thinks about drinking.”

In 1989, Tom inherited the U.S. men’s Nordic com-bined team. For 78 years, this ski team had been satis-fied with just participating at the Olympic level. Themedals, of course, went to the historically successfulcountries—the ones with Alps and legacies of winning.

Tom took a perpetually losing culture and turned itinto one that expected to win. When he left, U.S. skierswere often standing on top of the podium, not on theteam bus. Now Tom is one of the best executive coachesin the country.

=181


Since athletes are so strong minded, Tom knew hecouldn’t just tell them what to think. He asked his skierswhat they imagined was possible. Next, he asked themto describe their best performance. Finally, he asked themwhat it would take to bridge the distance between whatthey’d already accomplished and what they imaginedwas possible. Then he held them to it.

Tom believes that your team members need to loveand fear you at the same time. They won’t love you ifyou try to impose your will on them. If you try to imposetheir own will on them, it’s a different story.

“You only have the ability to ask them tough ques-tions and face them as a mirror that they know is sim-ply a reflection of what they think. You have to get themto want it for themselves,” says Tom.

Your coworkers will love you for listening to and help-ing to achieve their goals. They will fear you for the dis-appointment that will occur if those goals aren’t realized.

When skiers reached their goals, Tom asked them toset new goals for themselves. These achievers helpedinspire other team members with a winning attitude—even if they were at the bottom of the team’s rankings.The junior team members could exert pressure with theirperformances on the senior team members. By applyingpressure from both directions, Tom found, everyonewanted to drink “the water.”

Tom focused, however, on the top performers. Afterall, if they achieved their goals, they could make thereward for hard work seem worthwhile. They could alsomake everyone beneath them aim to reach a little higher.

=182

Just Ask Leadership

Underachievers, in sports and business, can take up adisproportionate amount of a leader’s time, if you allowit. Tom didn’t. He dedicated his time to the winners andthe culture of winning. You should, too.

Ask each coworker what they imagine is possible.Together, map out a way to achieve that vision. Thenhold them to their “workout plan.” Tie them to the post.


What is the difference betweenchallenging questions and intimidatingquestions?

Challenging questions open people up to creative think-ing. When John F. Kennedy suggested we put a man onthe moon, many challenging questions followed. Whatmaterials should we use to build a spaceship? How canwe get through the earth’s atmosphere? How can aspaceship land successfully on the moon? How can astro-nauts walk safely in zero gravity?

Challenging questions inspire people to action—tobridge the gulf between possibility and reality.

Intimidating questions shut off creative thinking. Whyhaven’t we done this? How could this have happened?Who was responsible for this? These questions will rotan organization from the inside. When people feeljudged, they no longer feel empowered. They no longerwant to take risks. They no longer consider innovativepossibilities for themselves and the organization. Their

=183


fear of censure causes them to close up and take a defen-sive posture.

According to Tim Welsh, managing partner at McKinsey & Co., if you strike fear in your coworkers,they won’t share their true thoughts. Instead, they willtry to infer what your point is and present it back toyou. He says you “have to create an environmentaround you where people can share with you theirthoughts as they arise.”

So, how do you create this kind of environment?How do you find the root cause of a problem withoutpassing judgment and instilling fear? Rather than look-ing to assign blame, make the search about finding asolution, not finding the problem. Awaken the creativethinking in your organization. Ask, “How might weimprove in the future?” not, “Who was responsible forthis mistake?”


Why did the Catholic Church create thedevil’s advocate?

Versed in law, advocates are better positioned to repre-sent their clients than the clients themselves—even if,and often because, their clients are more emotionallyinvested in the outcome. Advocates are not bound to strive for the right, fairest outcome. Their goal is simple: to win.

=184

Just Ask Leadership

Up until 1983, the Catholic Church canonized saintsonly after a trial-like process. The prosecutor was knownas devil’s advocate, his challenger, the advocatus Dei(God’s advocate). Naturally, for people to be even con-sidered for sainthood, they must have done more thantheir share of good deeds and gathered a bevy of support-ers. Who in their right mind would want to try to dig updirt on people of such character? And yet, to uphold thehigh standard of sainthood, someone had to seriouslychallenge each candidate. As a result, the process guaran-teed the devil’s advocate protection against retaliation—provided, of course, that he proceeded without malicious,slanderous intent.

There’s an old adage that goes: “You can’t think your-self out of a problem with the same thinking that got youinto it.” CEOs often assign someone in the executiveteam to be the devil’s advocate for this very reason. Theyrelieve the designated person of the responsibility of rep-resenting her own, the leader’s, and/or the organization’sinterests. This protection against retaliation allows thedevil’s advocate to vigorously challenge a decision orpractice. As a result, the decision often gets cloudier—ina good way. More potential consequences are exposed.New and better decisions are the result.

Ben Shapiro, professor emeritus at the Harvard BusinessSchool, takes the devil’s advocate process a step further.He encourages CEOs to ask two adversaries in a particu-lar dispute to reverse positions. In doing so, entrenchedcoworkers are more likely not only to understand their

=185


adversary’s perspective but also to find middle-groundalternatives—in the process of traveling from one perspec-tive to another. “The best leaders are those who don’t takeownership of an idea. They are just looking for the bestsolution,” says Shapiro.

Don’t get wedded to any one idea. Be sure to assignthe role of devil’s advocate, or take on the role yourself,to ensure that the tough questions get asked.


How do I gain respect by admittingignorance and seeking to understand?

John Read, CEO of Outward Bound, was previously afederal policy maker and involved with labor relations.He also worked at Cummings, where he started in thecorporate offices then became plant manager of themanufacturing division. He says the experience was likeparachuting from the top of a huge pyramid down tothis little tiny place on the forest floor. When he landed,he knew virtually nothing about plant operations—unlike the brilliant engineers he was now charged tosupervise. The plant’s head of operations was a guynamed Bill Tubor, who had no teeth, but knew every inch of that plant. He would provide helpfulanswers only if John asked the right questions. Bill hadbeen at the plant for years and knew he would still be

=186

Just Ask Leadership

there after John left. John had to prove he listened welland could make the right decisions with the informa-tion Bill gave him in order to gain Bill’s trust. Eventu-ally, he did, and that is when the game of Cat andMouse ended.

Mike Harper, former chairman and CEO of ConA-gra, shared a similar story about when he was promotedto head of research at Pillsbury. On the first day of hisnew job, he felt the rush of adrenaline and nerves thataccompany many other firsts: the first time in the deepend of a pool, the first time behind the wheel of a car,the first time asking someone out on a date, and so on.Like John, Mike quickly realized that all of his reports(in this case, PhDs in nutrition and food production)knew infinitely more than he did about their work.Rather than hide in his office and pretend to be all-knowing like the Wizard of Oz, he did the opposite. Heused his inexperience as a way to make connections withhis coworkers and gain their trust. He asked questionsthat revealed his ignorance and affirmed their knowl-edge and skills.

People trust and respect leaders who admit the gaps intheir knowledge and apologize for mistakes. On theother hand, if leaders act more like managers and do notfill the gaps in their knowledge, they are more apt tomake mistakes. And the more mistakes they make, themore their apologies wear thin.

=187



Why is it so hard to hand off theleadership baton?

As a thriving entrepreneur or leader, you build your busi-ness with hopes perhaps that one day someone will lib-erate you from what you’ve created. Once you’vereached a certain level of security and success, you handthe keys over to a person with the right skills, emotionalintelligence, and background to run the enterprise.

The new hire performs many of your job responsibil-ities, maybe even better than you ever could. So whydon’t you feel released of your leadership duties? In part,it’s because these new leaders don’t have the same intrin-sic motivation that you have, as the business architect.They don’t have the same restless need to meet ongoingdemands from the stakeholders. After all, they don’tknow how hard it was to create and maintain the busi-ness’s infrastructure.

Entrepreneurs would likely suffocate under all thestrains and stresses, long hours and failures, if not forthe dream of a serene, duty-free future. And yet, this isa fairy tale for those that don’t cultivate leaders in allranks of the organization as it develops.

Share the mission, goals, and objectives with everyonein the organization. Share the leadership. Only then willyou be able to unburden yourself and genuinely relax asleadership is transferred.

=188

Just Ask Leadership

Motivate to Action Summary

“Because I said so” is no longer a satisfactory answerfor leaders to give. Your coworkers want and deservebetter motivation to succeed. Appeal to their desire tobe remembered or set an inspirational example for themto follow like Ben Franklin did. Change the questionfrom “Why should we …?” to “How will we …?” ormake them stretch to bridge the gulf between possibil-ity and reality (with a particularly challenging, notintimidating, question). Hold them to the goals theythemselves set.

Don’t ask questions that might suggest that you’recoming to an independent decision if it’s your coworker’sdecision to make. Act as a teacher, not a fellow student,and choose the right medium for your questions. Admitgaps in your knowledge, but work fast to address thosegaps, since poor recall and apologies wear thin over time.Be sure to assign or take on the role of devil’s advocate,so gaps in decision making are discovered. If you’re hav-ing trouble reaching consensus, check to see if someone’sidentity or feelings are preventing progress. Once youhave achieved consensus, ask the group to say, “Agree,”to help cement the decision and everyone’s commitment.

=189



Afterword

Organizational life is full of uncertainty. The work,technology, and relationships are all in flux. Ask-

ing is the navigational system of these uncertain times.When in doubt, ask. And when not in doubt, ask. Learnto doubt your certainty.

When leaders use more questions than commands, theorganization’s culture flourishes. Uncertainty is seen asan opportunity, not a threat, so curiosity and creativitytake root. Asking also confers respect, builds leaders andteam unity simultaneously, leads to serendipitous con-nections and cognitive diversity, and distributes the workalong proper lines. So in your office, in the boardroom,in the conference room, at the water cooler, with vendorsand customers, at lunch with coworkers or your boss,just ask. Suspend your beliefs for a few minutes, so thatreal change, learning, and connection are not only pos-sible, but a regular occurrence.

It sounds simple enough, but as I hope this book hasshown, not every question is created equal. Just Ask lead-ership is a mindset, and it needs to be supported and sus-tained—not just by monitoring your tone and mannerisms,but by a full understanding of what questions can and can-not do, and under what scenarios they are most effective.Some questions stem from idle curiosity and may becounter-productive to your or the organization’s goals,

a 191

while others can cut like a laser to the heart of the matter,carrying the people and the organization with them.

While this book illustrates the value of question-basedleadership, it’s not a thorough “how to” manual. Youwill be a better leader, simply by remembering to askquestions like “Whose decision is it?” and “Do youthink, or do you know?” and refraining from gotchaquestions or annoyance factor questioning. But toembody Just Ask leadership and reap the full benefits,you ought to undergo a thorough 360-degree assessmentand receive customized recommendations that take intoaccount your coworkers and organization, as well asyour individual strengths and limitations.

Just Ask Program

Since writing the book, I have created a Just Ask assess-ment, training, and coaching program with the assis-tance of Brian Ferro (president of Aslan LeadershipSolutions, Inc.) and Keith Morical (president and CEO of 4ROI, and former contributor to the WilsonLearning Styles and Covey assessments). The Just Askprogram will identify what style of leader you are (Pro-fessor, Innovator, Director, or Judge) and help you tai-lor your approach. Unlike Meyers Briggs and DISC,ours isn’t a personality test. Your leadership style is, andought to be, flexible enough to accommodate different,hard-wired personalities.

The Just Ask program rests on four founding principles:

=192

Just Ask Leadership

1. The questioner must trust the responder.

• What is the point of asking a great question ifyou don’t trust the responder? We providestrategies to improve your ability to trustothers (without devastating fallout) andovercome blocks that prohibit a safe and equalexchange of ideas and information.

• We also help you gauge the trustworthiness ofyour coworkers using seven components (theSeven C’s):

• Capability

• Capacity

• Commitment

• Connection

• Commonality

• Consistency

• Character

2. For a question to be meaningful, it must comefrom a place of not knowing.

• The Socratic Method works well for teachers,but not as well in business. Your coworkerswill tire of fishing for the answer if it’s alwaysyour answer they’re seeking. They will sense ifyour “not-knowing” approach isn’t genuine.

• Your stories and beliefs, no matter how rock-solid they appear, aren’t always true. Andwhat you knew to be true may no longer betrue, due to new developments. You can’t

=193

Afterword

know it all, and even if you could, it wouldnot help engage others.

• Our assessment will measure the difficultyyou are having letting go of this “all-knowing” behavior, and our training andcoaching program can help you update yourapproach.

3. The goal of the question must be known.

• Is the goal idea-generating or outcome-producing, or somewhere in between? We help you map out questions along this line.

• Does the asker’s goal take into account theresponder’s needs, abilities, and expectations?We analyze not only question-formation, butalso receptivity.

4. Leaders should embrace cognitive diversity byunderstanding the particular strengths andlimitations of their leadership style.

• You likely use the same questions over andover again. We will expand your toolkit ofquestions to include ones that match yourleadership style.

• It’s important to recognize that your leadershipstyle (and the questions that accompany it)may not work for everyone or in everyscenario. We will help you shift between thefour leadership styles (Professor, Innovator,Director, and Judge), to better meet your, yourcoworkers’, and the organization’s needs.

=194

Just Ask Leadership

Just Ask Workshops

Self-awareness isn’t always enough to effect meaningfuland lasting change. Often it takes practice or deepimmersion to absorb a new leadership approach, whichis why we have developed a two-day participative work-shop to support the Just Ask program.

For more information on the Just Ask program andworkshops, please visit www.justaskleadership.com

=195

Afterword

www.justaskleadership.com


Index

AAccountability, 43–66

and behavior modification,51–53

building, 116–117and committing resources,

63–66and coworkers’ fear of failure,

62–63and egos, 46–47and entrusting decision

making, 60–61and fear of loss, 59–60and interrogation vs.

interviewing, 56–58and job description, 44–46and line of authority, 54–56for repeated mistakes, 50–51and scheduling performance

reviews, 47–50and validation, 53–54

“Accountability spiral,”116–117

ACI Telecentrics, 3, 25–26,80–81, 125, 137–138

Acquire, drive to, 12Admitting ignorance, 186–187Advice:

giving, 95–96seeking coworkers’, 93–95

Alignment:of employees’ needs with

organization’s needs, 81–83

of human drives with yourvalues, 12–14

of performance measures withorganizational culture,23–24

of stated values with operatingvalues, 16–18

“Annoyance factor,” 169–172Aronson, Bob, 88, 147Asking questions, 1–5

annoyance factor in, 169–172benefits of, 5, 191and egos, 4–5giving instructions vs., 1goal of, 194and identifying the right

questions, 34–35, 137–139,141–142

leader’s role in, 26–28media for, 174–176from place of not knowing,

193–194in presentations, 71

Assumptions, challenging,146–147

Auftragstaktik, 62–63

a 197

BB-–2 Bomber, 151Bargaining Games (John Keith

Murnighan), 64Baxter Pharmaceutical, 166Beckwith, Harry, xiiiBehavior modification, 51–53Being present, 88–91Belief system, suspending your,

177–178Berkun, Scott, 139Best performers:

rule breaking by, 105–107Blake, Robert, 122Blink (Malcolm Gladwell), 150Body language, 128–129Boeing, 78–79Bond, drive to, 12Bormann, Ernest G., 77–78Boundaries, setting, 115Brainerd, Mary, 100Brandeis University, 35–36Broderick, Mike, 75–76

CCallahan, Colonel Joseph, 60–61Carlson, Curt, 57–58Carrington, Lord, 114Catholic Church, 185Ceotest.com, 11Chain, General Jack, 4–5, 151Challenging questions, 183–184Chiat, Jay, 178Chidgey, Henry, 47Chief conversationalists, 79Clearness committees, 133–134Clinton, Bill, 130Closed-ended questions, 87CO2 Partners, 93

Cognitive dissonance, 152–153Cognitive diversity, 194–195Columbo (TV character), 132Committing resources, 63–66Competitive edge, 24–26Complex solutions, 139–141Condit, Phil, 78–79Conflicting data, 152–153Confrontations, avoiding,

176–177Constructive criticism, 150Conwood, 27–28Coolidge, Calvin, xii–xiiiCortés, Hernán, 162–163Craft, Dan, 177Credit, giving others, 46–47Crises, decision making during,

122–124Critical thinking, 150–152Criticism, 148–150Crown, Lester, 61, 119Cultural change, effecting, 19–21Culture, organizational (see

Organizational culture)Culture of trust, 69–108

and alignment of needs, 81–83and allowing meaningful

contributions, 102–103and asking questions, 71and being present, 88–91and breaking the rules,

105–107and getting/giving advice,

93–96and good vs. gotcha questions,

85–86and learning bad news,

104–105and listening, 91–93

=198

Index

Culture of trust (Cont.)in meetings, 73–75and responding to questions,

87–88and sharing your ideas, 72–73and storytelling, 77–79and team needs, 80–81and tone, 84–85

Cummings (company), 186–187Curiosity, 135–136

DDairy Queen, 153–155, 164, 165Decision makers, goal achievers

vs., 30–31Decision making, 111–159

and “accountability spiral,”116–117

and asking questions, 117–118and clarifying thinking,

124–127with complex solutions,

139–141and conflicting data, 152–153during crises, 122–124delegating, 145–146and dissonance, 128–129engaging coworkers in,

148–150entrusting coworkers with,

60–61and fallacious arguments,

129–131and framing questions,

135–136helping others in, 118–119identifying responsibility for,

113–116and identifying the right

questions, 141–142intuition/critical thinking in,

150–152and judgment-laden questions,

133–135and line of authority,

143–145and meetings, 147–148and questioning assumptions,

146–147role differentiation in,

156–158and silence, 137–139and “stupid” questions,

131–133Defend, drive to, 13, 59–60Deikel, Ted, 24Devil’s advocate, 184–186Diamond, Rick, 3, 24, 25,

80–81, 137–138Difficult Conversations (Douglas

Stone, Bruce Patton, andSheila Heen), 179

Dirksen, Lois, 125Discussion and Group Methods

(Ernest G. Bormann), 77Dissonance, detecting, 128–129Dolginow, Yale, 132–133Driven (Paul R. Lawrence and

Nitin Nohria), 12Drives, human, 12–14Drucker, Peter, 8Dunn, Dick, 57–58

EE3, 75Earnings, 75Economizing your questions,

172–174

=199

Index

“Effective Crisis Management”(Robert Blake and JaneMouton), 122

Egos:benefits/limitations of, 4–5and giving others credit,

46–47and gotcha questions, 86

Einstein, Albert, 42, 112Ellen Kaye Laboratories, 2E-mail, 174–176Employees’ needs:

alignment of organization’sneeds with, 81–83

identifying, 80–81Empowerment, 115–116Engaging (of coworkers):

in conversations, 148–150in meetings, 73–75

Enron, 105Esprit de corps, 168–169Exploring the unexplored, 26–28

FFAA (Federal Aviation

Administration), 16Failure, fear of, 62–63Fallacious arguments, 129–131Fallacyfiles.org, 131Fantasy theme analysis, 77–78Farrell, Greg, 33Fear:

of failure, 62–63of loss, 59–60of reprisal, 63and tone, 84–85

Federal Aviation Administration(FAA), 16

Feil, Mark, 104

Ferro, Brian, 192Final Net Hair Spray, 2“Five Why” rule, 127“Flossing,” 155–156Foley, John, 16Framing questions, 135–136Franklin, Benjamin, 167Frawley, Dan, 151Froetscher, Janet, 163–164Front-page test, 28–29Frustration:

and egos, 46–47and job-description problems,

45Fry, Robert, 23–24Future, leading into the,

31–33

GGaining-perspective questions,

21–23Gelb, Richard, 99Gender differences, 94Gladwell, Malcolm, 150Global positioning systems

(GPS), 18Goal achievers, decision makers

vs., 30–31Golden Rule, 80Good questions:

gotcha questions vs., 85–86judgment-laden questions vs.,

133–135responding to, 87–88“stupid” questions as,

131–133Gotcha questions, 85–86GPS (global positioning

systems), 18

=200

Index

GPS (goal, position, andstrategy), 30, 31, 97

Gubegna, Abe, 25Guiding questions, 33–34Guilt-by-association fallacies, 130

HHahn, Kurt, 123Harper, Mike, 20–21, 74, 187Head (company), 167HealthPartners, 100Heen, Sheila, 179Heifetz, Ronald A., 19–20, 157Hengel, Chuck, 15Heraclitus, 125Hillel the Elder, 81Hiring, 36–40

and expectations, 39–40and organizational culture,

36–38“How” questions, 180–181Human drives, 12–14Humor, 173–174

IIdeas, sharing your, 72–73Ignorance, admitting, 186–187Imagining, 79Improvisation, 88–90Indecision, 62, 63Independence, building, 54Individuality, 82ING, 179Innuendo, 176–177Inspirational role models, 167Interrogation, interviewing vs.,

56–58Intimidating questions, 183–184Intuition, 150–152

JJames, Ron, 86Job description, 44–46John Meyer (company), 2Judgment-laden questions,

133–135Just Ask leadership:

as mindset, 191principles of, 192–195

Just Ask program, 192–195Just Ask workshop, 195

K“Keep it between the rails,”

60–61Kennedy, John F., 183Kennedy, Mark, 130–131Kennedy Center, 132KiSS (keep doing, stop doing,

start doing), 51–53Knowing, thinking vs., 124–126Kunz, John, 29

LLansing, Will, 117–118Lawrence, Paul R., 12Leadership:

as allocation of resources, 121past vs. future, 8sharing, 188

Leadership on the Line (RonaldA. Heifetz and MartinLinsky), 19

Leadership role, 26–34differentiation of personal vs.,

156–158and exploring the unexplored,

26–28and front-page test, 28–29

=201

Index

Leadership role (Cont.)goal-achiever vs. decision-

maker, 30–31and guiding questions, 33–34and managing the present vs.

leading into the future,31–33

Leading questions, 169, 177Learn, drive to, 13Leary, Mike, 153–155, 164–165LeGault, Michael, 150LEVEL (company), 16Levinson, Harry, 35–36Lewinsky, Monica, 130Lilly, John, 19Lindsay, Don, 131Line(s) of authority:

and accountability, 54–56in decision making, 143–145describing, 55–56

Linsky, Martin, 19Listening:

demonstrating that you are,91–93

importance of, xiiiL.L. Bean, 23–24Loneliness, 99–102Loss, fear of, 59–60“Lost” (David Wagoner), 138

MMadison, Tom, 29, 91Mahai, Chris, 125Making Things Happen (Scott

Berkun), 139Managing the present, leading

into the future vs., 31–33Marketing Architects, 14–16Mayo Clinic, 92

McLaughlin, Bill, 55, 98–99McLaughlin, David, 31–32Meetings:

engaging coworkers in, 73–75and “so what?” question,

147–148Merchant Marines (Great

Britain), 123Michelangelo, 164–165Mission tactics, 62–63Mistakes, repeated, 50–51Morical, Keith, 192Most, Richard, xiiMotivating others, 161–189

by admitting ignorance,186–187

and annoyance-factorquestions, 169–172

with challenging vs.intimidating questions,183–184

and economizing yourquestions, 172–174

and feelings/identity, 179–180with “how” vs. “what”

questions, 180–181with innuendo, 176–177with leverage, 166and media selection, 174–176by playing devil’s advocate,

184–186with sense of accomplishment,

164–165with sense of urgency,

162–164with shared responses,

168–169and sharing leadership, 188with social proof, 167–168

=202

Index

Motivating others (Cont.)and suspending your belief

system, 177–178Motorola, 64Mouton, Jane, 122Multitasking, 90Murnighan, John Keith, 64

NNational Aeronautics and Space

Administration (NASA), 122Needs:

alignment of employees’ andorganization’s, 81–83

identifying, 80–81Neeley, Kayle, 143–145Newspaper stories, 28–29Newton, Major General Dick, 62Nike, 77“No answer,” 137–139Nohria, Nitin, 12North American Bison

Cooperative, 172–173Norwegian Cruise Lines, 143

OObama, Barack, 156Obstacles, overcoming, 97–99Olympic skiers, 180–182Open-ended questions, 3, 87Operating values, stated vs.,

16–18Organizational culture, 18–23

alignment of performancemeasures with, 23–24

awareness of, 20–21defining your, 18–20gaining perspective on, 21–23and hiring, 36–38

Organizational terrorists,105–107

Outward Bound, 123Ownership, feelings of, 107

PPape, Dieter, 172–174Patience, 92Patton, Bruce, 179Performance measures,

23–24Performance reviews, 47–50Permission, giving, 54“The Pieta,” 164–165Pillsbury, 19, 187Pinker, Steven, 176Plato, 124Positive, reinforcing the, 53Power of suggestion, 78Predictive dialing, 25Present, being, 88–91Presentations, asking questions

with, 71President, of United States, 156Pritzker, Tom, 27–28, 57,

139–140Problem solving, of others’

problems, 118–119Procter & Gamble, 19Profits, and values, 14–16

QQuakers, 133–134Question-based leadership, 5

RRamstad, Jim, 3Read, John, 186–187Repeated mistakes, 50–51

=203

Index

Reprisal, fear of, 63Request-for-proposal (RFP)

process, 137–138Resistance, overcoming,

143–145, 178Resources, committing, 63–66Responding to questions,

87–88Responsibility, for decision

making, 113–116Restatement, of question, 54RFP (request-for-proposal)

process, 137–138“Right” questions, asking the,

34–35Robbins, Tony, 168–169Role differentiation, 156–158Role models, 167Rule breaking, 105–107Rumi, 137Rumsfeld, Donald, 127

SScheduling:

of decision making, 120–122of performance reviews,

47–50Science Museum (St. Paul,

Minnesota), 140Sears, 34Securian Financial, 35Seidenstricker, Dick, 166Seinfeld (TV show), 126Select Comfort, 98–99Senkler, Bob, 35Sense of accomplishment,

164–165Sense of urgency, 162–164September 11, 2001 terrorist

attacks, 15–16Shapiro, Ben, 185–186Shared responses, 168–169Sharing leadership, 188Sharing your ideas, 72–73Shaw, George Bernard, 68Silence, 137–139Silva, Lieutenant Colonel John,

62Smith, Catherine, 179“Snowflakes,” 127“So what?” question, 147–148Social proof, 167–168Socrates, 125Socratic Method, 193Spouses, motivating through, 166Stakeholders, identifying, 98–99Stated values, operating vs.,

16–18Staw, Barry, 64–65Steitz, Tom, 180–183Stern, Gary, 172Stone, Douglas, 179Storch, Jerry, 175–176Storytelling:

building unity through, 77–79“Stupid” questions, 131–133Succession management, 35–36,

188Supervisors, lack of trust in,

95–96Surowiecki, James, 76Suspending your belief system,

177–178Symonds, Captain James A., 46

TTeam needs, identifying, 80–81Technology, 75–77

=204

Index

Think! (Michael LeGault), 150Thinking, knowing vs., 124–126360-degree assessments, 46–47,

192Tickle analogy, 53–54Tobacco companies, 27–28Tone, 84–85Toys “R” Us, 175Truman, Harry S., 46, 114Trump, Donald, 106Trust:

elevating level of, 61in responders, 193in supervisors, 95–96(See also Culture of trust)

Trustworthiness, 193Tubor, Bill, 186–187Turning Technologies, 75–77

UUltimatums, 98–99Unasked questions, 141–142Uncertainty, 191United Way Chicago, 163–164U.S. Navy, 46–47UPS (United Parcel Service), 18Urban, Thomas, 128, 136Urgency, sense of, 162–164USS Ronald Reagan, 46

VValidation, of coworkers, 53–54Values, 10–18

alignment of human driveswith, 12–14

defining your, 10–12operating vs. stated, 16–18

and profits, 14–16Vision, 9–40

alignment of performancemeasures with, 23–24

and asking questions, 26–28,34–35

and competitive edge, 24–26and detecting dissonance, 128and hiring, 36–40and leadership role, 26–34and organizational culture,

18–23and succession management,

35–36and values, 10–18

WWagoner, David, 138Wal-Mart, 34Weil, Simone, 39Welch, Jack, 117–118, 160Welsh, Tim, 184“We’ve always done it that

way,” 153–156“What” questions, 180–181Whyte, David, 79, 138The Wisdom of Crowds (James

Surowiecki), 76“Wishy-washy” answers,

126–127Wolff, Steve, 131“Working together” slogan,

78–79

Z“Zero Circle” (Rumi), 137Ziggy, 99

=205

Index

About the Author

As president and cofounder of ACI Telecentrics, Inc., GaryCohen grew the company from two people to 2,200

employees and reached $32 million in sales at the company’speak. ACI grew at an average compounded rate of over 50 percent for almost 13 years and was recognized as one ofVenture Magazine’s Top 10 Best Performing Businesses andBusiness Journal’s 25 Fastest Growing Small Public Compa-nies. Currently, Gary is partner and cofounder of CO2 Part-ners, LCC, operating as an executive coach and consultant.His clients run a wide range of organizations—from smallentrepreneurial companies to multi-billion-dollar enterprises.

Gary received his B.S. from the University of Minnesota,where he triple-majored in International Business, Intercul-tural Communications, and International Political Science.Prior to attending Harvard Business School (Owner PresidentManager Program), he attended Covey Leadership Center andDisney Creative Leadership workshops. He has also been amember of TEC (The Executive Committee), an Ernst &Young Entrepreneur of the Year Award Finalist (Inc. Maga-zine), and a Henry Crown Fellow (Aspen Institute).

Gary has served on numerous boards, including OutwardBound National Advisory Board, All Kinds of Minds,Alzheimer Board of Governors, and American TeleservicesAssociation. He is frequently interviewed on leadership issuesby Wall Street Journal Europe, Wall Street Journal Asia, Finan-cial Daily News, USA Today, Washington Post, BusinessWeek,Wall Street Reporter, Venture Magazine, St. Paul Pioneer Press,and Profits Journal. As one of the 100 foremost speakers inthe country, Gary also contributed to Five Star Speakers &Trainers: The Hottest Business Topics from the World’s Great-est Speakers (FIVE PRESS, 2009).

Documents

Praise for · Praise forJust Ask Leadership “While I honestly wasn’t conscious of it, Gary’s notion of ‘lead-ing by asking’ nicely captures my own style. This approach cre-