pointe! magazine - Spring 2011

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1 intersec ting pointe!sFashion Caution . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6Roadside Assistance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7Laundry Bumps . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28Merging Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32

discovery pointe!sThe Marriage Journey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10Your Child's Learning Style . . . . . . . . . . . . .11

wedding pointe!rsUltimate Wedding Timeline . . . . . . . . . . . . .16Trendspotting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20

pointe! yummyTasty & Easy Sandwiches . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34Fresh Foods . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .36

EDITORS LAYOUT & DESIGNLori Stephanoff Sherie LaPradeWanda Litchenberg Chris Duckett Cindy Van Horn ADVERTISINGCara AdamsMadeleine Thomas

To advertise, go to pointemag.orgor contact [email protected]

pointe! magazine | cathedral of praise | 3790 ashley phosphate roadcharleston, south carolina | 843 .760 .2626 | www .pointemag .org

enjoy the journeyI once heard it said, “You never know where the road of life will lead you .” Sometimes life is like a leisurely Sunday afternoon drive on scenic roads in a red convertible, top down, warm breeze blowing . Other days, it ’s more like negotiating heavy traffic during rush hour in an attempt to get everyone where they need to be, at least close to on time, without getting into an accident or losing your sanity .

Even with the best planning, life can be quite unpredictable . Grand experiences with moments of joy and great delight often intersect with flat tires, missed turns, and breakdowns . Life’s surprises require us to make alterations and adjustments with little or no notice . We may be forced to take a detour that makes the trip twice as long . Or we might encounter a complete roadblock that seems as if it will prevent us from ever reaching our intended destination .

Everyone hits tough spots along the way . The question is how will you respond? You can be like the frog that fell into a churn of milk . Instead of giving up, he just kept swimming until a pat of butter formed . He climbed on it and hopped to freedom . Our attitude determines how we navigate the twists and turns of life .

What if we saw life as a grand adventure? Being “forced” to take an unexpected route might bring the sense of newness we’d been hoping for but too afraid to try . I believe your best life could very well lie on the road ahead of you .

Here are a few reminders to my fellow travelers: Pack light . Take lots of pictures so you’ll remember . Pick your traveling companions wisely . Even though you’ll eventually grieve the loss of someone dear, take the risk and love deeply . Life will offer only so many turns and experiences, so be sure to enjoy the journey .

Because girlfriends matter,

Senior Pastor Cathedral of Praise

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JUNESoccer Camp #1Ages: 5-12 Dates: June 6 – 10Time: 9 AM - 12 PM

Football Camp Ages: 7-14Dates: June 13 - 17 Time: 9am - 12pm

Cheerleading CampAges: 5-12 Dates: June 13-17 Time: 9am – 12pm

Baseball & Softball Camp Ages: 7-12 Dates: June 20-24Time: 9am – 12pm

Basketball Camp #1 Ages: 5-13 Dates: June 27–30Time: 9am – 12:30pm

JULYDodgeball CampAges: 7-12Dates: July 5–8Time: 9am – 12pm

Karate CampAges: 7-14Dates: July 18–22Time: 9am – 12pm

Basketball Camp #2 Ages: 5-13 Dates: July 25–29Time: 9am – 12:00pm

AUGUSTSoccer Camp #2Ages: 5-12 Dates: August 1 - 5Time: 9 AM - 12 PM

Cost: $65 per personAll camps include t-shirt (Cheerleading includes poms and Dodgeball includes headband.)

Location: Cathedral Academy Athletic Center & AthleticFields

Visit CathedralSports.com for more information

CAMPSCALENDAR



— Brooks Hearn A wise person once told me that having a cute

outfit is great, but it’s even more important to “tie

the bow on the package.” In other words, don’t

detract from your overall look by having food in

your teeth, makeup streaked across your face, or

your cardigan mis-buttoned. Let’s discuss some

common fashion pitfalls and how to avoid them. ARE YOU WEARING A SKIRT OR A DRESS? Check out the outfit in a room with lamps or overhead lights and then look again in a room with natural light, if possible . Add a slip if necessary . Be sure that the slip is the right length for the outfit or you’ll have another potential fashion disaster on your hands . (Personal note: I used to laugh at my mom for handing them to me as I walked out the door . I now realize the importance of a slip .) EVER HEARD OF VPL's (VISIBLE PANTY LINES)? They are always a fashion don’t . Nowadays, there are numerous options for undergarments that help you avoid showing off those dreaded lines . Check your rear view, even in jeans, because some fabrics tend to show lines .

FashionCAUTIONSPEAKING OF UNDERGARMENTS, don’t show off your straps! Those need to stay hidden, as they are never supposed to be a complement to an outfit .

COLOR IS IMPORTANT as well . Tan undergarments work best under white clothing to avoid creating that obvious “contrast” look . White undergarments under black garments can show through, especially when photos are being taken . Even a hint of color on display is a major fashion caution . NERVOUS ABOUT YOUR NECKLINE? Add a cami underneath blouses or tanks to maintain a ladylike appearance . Be aware that some camis with built-in bras tend to pull themselves down, which defeats the purpose of wearing one in the first place .

Practice sitting down in your outfit to ensure that your jeans don’t ride too low when you’re seated, and that your shirt is long enough in the back.

CLOTHES THAT FIT PROPERLY ARE FAR MORE FIGURE

FLATTERING. Have you seen someone dressed in too-tight clothes and wondered how they were able to breathe? Or what about someone who appeared to be drowning in fabric? LEGGINGS ARE POPULAR RIGHT NOW, BUT are not intended to be worn as pants . If you dare wear them without a skirt or dress, be sure your top covers your backside . Mid-thigh is preferable . A FEW MORE PARTING THOUGHTS: Keep toes polished for sandals and peep-toe shoes . Always carry a hand mirror . Double-sided tape can be your friend (as long as it stays invisible) . As always, wear what you enjoy and what suits you best . Don’t let one small slip-up take away from your fabulous sense of style . Remember these guidelines, but most importantly, remember that the best way to complete any outfit is with a smile .

WE ASKED: What one fashion trenddo you hope never comes back?

YOU ANSWERED:

1 . BIG hair2 . Shoulder pads

3 . Bell bottom pants


Sometimes the biggest favor we can do for ourselves when we need help is to simply ASK . Turn on those flashing hazard lights, use a flare, or flag down some help .

Translated, that simply means talk to someone - honestly, openly, and vulnerably . Choose a safe person, of course . It doesn’t have to be a pastor or counselor; it can be a trusted friend, co-worker or relative . I’ve talked with a lot of women over the years . We have so many reasons why we are not quick to jump out of our comfort zones and seek help or advice . “I’m embarrassed,” or perhaps “My situation is stupid compared to hers,” or “I don’t want them to think I’m Ms . Needy .” Don’t let those thoughts and feelings stop you from asking for help . In fact, “nip it in the bud” before it turns into something more serious . You may be independent, maybe a stronger personality type, and likely convince yourself that you can (or have to) “handle it” alone . And you probably could handle it, but life is not meant to journey alone . In fact, YOU are probably the person that everybody else goes to when they need to talk! Why not give yourself a break from trying to have all the answers and just talk to somebody?!?

Often there are control issues that keep us from asking for help or wanting to talk to someone . Women (and men) can be territorial and very private . Maybe you were never given permission or felt it was okay to ask for help or express your feelings . So, if that’s YOU, consider this article as your permission slip! It really is okay . And a good thing!

Obviously, the list of reasons why women don’t ask for help could go on and on.

My point is to encourage you to start dialoging with someone about the “stuff ” in your life . Are you feeling alone, stuck, angry? Whatever it is, please don’t travel alone . The first one I recommend you talk to is the Lord! He’s available 24/7, He loves you completely, and He will never judge you! No matter what kind of stuff is swirling in your head or in your life, you won’t have to search for the “right” words to explain or express yourself . He understands you, even when you don’t! Secondly, find a person you trust and slowly begin to let down your guard and begin sharing your thoughts and feelings . Give yourself permission to be real . I didn’t say perfect…I said real .

Roadside AssistanceLife really is a journey; and somewhere along life’s highway, even the most seasoned traveler will need some assistance. A flat tire, running out of fuel, getting lost along the way — something is bound to happen that will interrupt the trip.

— Charlene Pendergast


Bill sold networking solutions to the Federal Government, but after September 11, 2001, that road closed . Bill needed to find a job, but we were not too concerned because we had money in the bank and we were both well educated . But over the next year, our detour took us farther and farther away from familiar territory . We found ourselves in uncharted land .

We tried to navigate our way around the road blocks and potholes, but the ride started getting a little bumpy and uncomfortable . Bill kept his eyes open for any and all business opportunities . While he was waiting for the light to turn green, he did what he could to manage our finances; I took a job outside the home, as well . Because our financial situation had changed drastically, our family had to buckle up and hold on tight as our detour took us far out of our way .

Our savings account was dwindling and cash flow

was minimal. Bill and I did everything we could

possibly do to get back on track, but we soon realized

that we were not in the driver’s seat.

It took us a while to let go of the wheel . We fought hard to take control back because we liked the direction we were going before the detour . Then an amazing thing happened . When Bill and I stopped fighting for the controls and stopped spinning our own wheels, we could tell that not just anybody was taking us on this crazy detour . Our journey was not without direction .

Through many sleepless nights, just when we thought we were going to crash, we were able to see who had the reins . . . He was powerful, strong, confident, courageous and ALL mighty .

— Chris Duckett

W e had been married for sixteen years. My husband, Bill and I had three wonderful children, a beautiful home and a great church in Charleston, SC. Bill was a very successful

businessman and I was blessed to stay home and raise our children. We worked hard and planned well for our future. Bill and I thought we were heading in the right direction and we were enjoying the ride. Then it happened. The signs pointed towards a DETOUR and we had to change our course.

Buckle Up for the Ride

What is something that

people do in traffic that irritates you?

Hands down (no pun

intended!)…texting is the biggest irritation…don’t do

it while driving or even waiting at

a light!


Recalculating RouteWe’ve all experienced it. You’re in the fast lane on the interstate, caught up in a flow of traffic, when you hear “Turn right now.”

As you zip by the exit you were supposed to take, you bang your hand on the steering wheel and blame all the other cars around you for getting in your way . You become tense, gripping the steering wheel so tightly that your knuckles turn white .

Leaning forward, you start looking for a way out of the fast lane . It feels as if you’ve just missed your only chance to reach your destination on time . In the midst of the anxiety and frustration, your GPS softly says, “Recalculating route .” Then you take a deep breath, sit back, and wait for new directions . Funny that the GPS in your car doesn’t get mad at you for missing the turn, or sigh heavily at you, or call you some derogatory name . It simply figures out how to get there from where you are now .

What a great illustration of the guidance of God in our lives . We’ve all done it…missed it, and then felt that pang in the pit of our stomach that made us feel as though we’ve just blown everything that God was trying to do . The next thought? “That’s it . I can’t get there now .” But there are few places in life that have only one route with no alternate points of entry .

Pick a place in the middle of a big city and enter that destination into your GPS . Then drive around the city and purposely miss turns; you’ll see there are an infinite number of ways to reach that destination . God’s grace is big enough to handle every missed or wrong turn you take in your life . The challenge is to trust His grace to get you there .

Wait . Listen . Did you hear it? “Recalculating route .” God sees the entire road map of your life before you ever make one turn . The truth is you got off course as a child when your parents missed a few turns, then you got off course as a young adult when you made some wrong choices, and on and on it goes .

Reality is we’re going to “miss it” and take wrong turns in life . Along many of those alternate routes, we’ve gained our character, integrity, and perseverance . What’s the safest, yet most boring route to take on a trip? The straightest line between point A and point B . I’ll take the risky, scenic route any day . And I’ll choose to trust that graceful voice that says, “Recalculating route .”

— E. Otto Tilley

Although the roads were still rough and harrowing at times, we knew without a doubt that we had to let go and let GOD! He would get us where we needed to go and He would get us there safely and at just the right time . This wasn’t the direction we had chosen, but when we realized God was in control, we were able to navigate the peaks and valleys with a calm assurance . We found hope in times of desperation when we thought Bill would never get his career back . God’s promises in the Bible gave us peace when we felt anxious and when it was time to pay the monthly bills . Sometimes we would start to buy the lie that the detour would never end; but we pushed through and held onto God’s promise that no matter where life took us, He would take care of us .

The destination became not as important as the journey . Bill and I had faith when our ride began, but it deepened far and wide as we travelled with God . Throughout our journey, He gave us daily blessings of faithful family and friends, encouragement, hope, and the ability to see that Bill and I were on the ride together . We didn’t blame each other or judge one another . We learned that the first part of prayer was not the wish list for Bill’s career or for a certain payment to be made . The first part of prayer was to accept who was in control .

God did a magnificent job, as always, in taking our family on a trip of a lifetime, deep into a faith that surpasses all understanding . We could not have done it without Him! And just when our resources were depleted, God gave Bill his career back . Our lives will forever be changed by that journey . Although we don’t know why we had to take that detour, Bill and I are both grateful for the experience . We learned that when God is in the driver’s seat, trust Him and look for all the blessings along the way .


JourneyEventually, we were back on the interstate and deep in good conversation when all four of us missed the Deer Valley Exit sign . In fact, we continued talking and driving over an hour until we saw signs for Cheyenne, Wyoming! Because of our failure to notice the signs, we found ourselves where we didn’t want to be - in another state . After a quick u-turn, we finally made it back to our destination for a wonderful time by closely paying attention to the signs .

This experience reminds me there are many road signs that apply to the success and happiness of a marriage . Marriage is an adventure unlike any other relationship, a journey into love . It holds the promise of being the most rewarding human experience we can know, especially if we notice and follow the signs .

Heads up! Let’s check out a few marriage journey signs .

YIELDPractice giving of yourself and caring about what your spouse wants to do . You don’t always have to have your own way . Yielding says I value my mate, and I’m willing to let go and

let love flow by listening and accepting my spouse’s opinions and ways of doing things . It means we don’t make decisions without the agreement of our spouses . It means we don’t withdraw sex or anything else in the relationship to punish or control . Giving creates the strongest bond of intimacy possible . This intimacy is so powerful that the word used to describe it is “one .” Love by yielding to your mate today .

DO NOT ENTERThe truth is there are certain topics or issues that need to be left alone so you can move on with the love relationship . For example, "Do Not Enter" means a spouse will not continue to bring up past mistakes or sins, will not criticize and pass judgment on a spouse’s family, or will not publicly expose a mate’s differences or weaknesses . A wise person knows when to leave such matters in God’s hands and let Him heal and help your mate .

CAUTIONEven the best marriages have bumps in the road . Use caution and don’t let those problems tempt you to give up, think it’s over, or become depressed . Strongly resist the urge to develop negative attitudes towards your spouse . Slow your emotions

JourneyIt was a trip to remember. We flew to Salt Lake City, Utah, with friends, rented a car, and headed for the ski slopes in Deer Valley. Carefully we followed the ONE WAY and EXIT ONLY signs out of the airport garage. Then because of road construction, we were surprised by several DETOUR signs, and each of us had varied opinions on how to maneuver the turns through unfamiliar areas.

the marriage— Alyce Reeves


Journey down; get help with your thinking, deal with the problem, and move on to a better place .

ONE WAYGod loves marriage . God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your marriage . Daily commit to spend time in God’s presence by reading your Bible and prayer for "His way" for your marriage . You will be amazed at the results .

PLAYOne quality of successful marriages is the ability to have fun . All work and no play makes for a boring marriage . Agree on a time to do fun things together and don’t forget to smile, laugh, touch, and enjoy each other .

STOPIt may be simple but it ’s powerful . Stop our busy, task-oriented life and appreciate your mate for the special person God has made . Stop to remember why you fell in love, and tell your spouse . I think that affirmation is way underused in marriages today .

FORK AHEADThe decisions you make at "the fork" n the marriage road determine your final destination . You can choose to believe the best in your spouse . You can choose to be respectful and loving with your words . You can choose to forgive and let God heal the hurts . Or not . Begin to see yourself making right choices that lead to a happy marriage journey for both of you .

Pay attention to the signs and you'll enjoy the trip!

Discovering Your Child'sLearning Style— Dr . Linda Karges-Bone Charleston Southern University

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Psalm 139:13 (NIV)

I love that scripture because it speaks to how carefully the Lord creates each of our children, of how perfectly He crafted their bodies, souls, and personalities . However, the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, sends these children to us without a set of directions . We have to figure out how the personality, the accompanying learning style, and the individual disposition unfold in our families and in the child’s future in school, with friends, and eventually in career and mate choices . What an awesome responsibility! Sometimes, a little help is nice .

So, we offer the “Kids’ Fruits of Learning” inventory . I developed it to accompany the adults’ assessment . Both tools are available at www.educationinsite.com and take only a few minutes to do . Finding out if your child is an apple, banana, strawberry, or grape can make parenting and even growing up a little less stressful and a little more fun .

Journey

How do you personally prepare for a fun roadtrip?

We just love checklists!

Number one answer: make a LIST, several lists, lots & lots of lists!


What Kind of Fruit Are You?A Personality and Learning Styles Quiz for Kids— Dr . Linda Karges-Bone

Directions: Read each question and then circle the letter that tells something about you. Choose only one letter in each group. Line each of the six letters up and see how they match the fruit styles.

1. You have an hour all to yourself. If you had to choose one of these ways to spend the hour, which would it be?

A . Reading a good book .B . Talking with friends about a new idea that I have .C . Finishing a project that I had started for school .D . Helping a friend who needed me .

2. Which of these letters describes you and the way you

make friends?

E . I have a lot of friends and get along with most people .F . I have one best friend and that is it .G . I am close to a small group of people whom I trust .H . I am the leader in my group of friends .

3. If your best friend described you, what would he or

she say?

I . You are someone who likes to compete and win .J . You are someone who is always ready to laugh or try

new things .K . You are someone who is generous and kind .L . You are someone who is careful and quiet .

4. How do you feel about school most of the time?

M . Like I am never caught up . I hate feeling rushed .N . Like I can never have enough time to do all the

activities I want to do .O . Like I can do anything I want to if I work hard enough .P . Like I don’t want to disappoint my teacher or parents by

making a mistake or a bad grade .

5. If you get upset with something or someone, how do you handle it?

Q . I talk about my feelings and ask lots of different people for advice .

R . I keep it to myself and figure out a way to solve the

problem in my own way .S . I share my feelings with a close friend or parent . T . I go to someone in authority and ask him or her to

straighten things out .

6. Which of these would be the best way to prepare for a big test?

U . Make your own flash cards after reading the chapters .V . Study with a group .W . Read and memorize notes from class .X . Ask your teacher for a study guide .

Put your six letters in order on the spaces below and then look in the code box for your “fruit style” match .

_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____

Note: If you have 3 or more letters that match, you are probably that fruit style . Sometimes, kids have a 2-fruit style, like a banana-grape!

APPLE - C H I O T U BANANA - A F L M R W

STRAWBERRY - B E J N Q V

GRAPE - D G K P S X

Understanding Your Style If you are an APPLE …you like to be first and hopefully the best in everything you do . In fact, you might be the first-born or only child in your family . You don’t mind working hard, but sometimes get angry when things don’t work out like you wanted them to . You learn by watching and by asking questions .

If your teacher puts you in a group, you are almost always the leader because you feel good about getting things done on time and winning! You might need to slow down and think carefully before you make a decision . Lots of kids like books with action and adventure in them . You might also like biographies . You like setting goals and reaching them, but don’t forget to have a good time reaching the goal and remember that other


ConclusionAs you can see from the description of each “fruit style,” there are specific suggestions for choosing literature, homework help, and even tips for teachers . Read the description with your child and discuss ways to make learning, study time, and planning for free time more meaningful . Here are a few closing suggestions:

Do your own “Fruits of Learning” inventory and compare the results with those of your children . Can you see how a “strawberry” parent might seem overwhelming to a “grape” child or how an “apple” dad might clash with his equally tenacious “banana” daughter?

Share the results with your child’s teachers, babysitters, and grandparents . Personality, learning styles, and birth order all matter and can impact relationships in positive or negative ways, depending on our levels of knowledge and insight .Finally, keep in mind that a personality or learning style is simply a way to describe one’s tendencies or temperament. It is useful and insightful, but not “written in stone .” What matters most is our respectful delight in the individuality of our children, because they were “knit together” in the most unique, beautiful ways .

people have goals and ideas too . Take time to listen . You like to compete in sports, games, grades, and with others . That is why you are the ACTIVE APPLE .

If you are a BANANA…you are a perfectionist, that is someone who likes things to be just right, no matter how long it takes! You like to work on things without rushing . It might make you nervous if the teacher jumps around from one project to another and you are not done yet . You might be a middle child or the second-born child in your family . You learn by touching and by using your hands . You are a good listener too, because you hate to get behind or miss anything .

Kids like books with lots of facts, ideas, and ways to do things, like crafts, cooking, or even riddles . You like science and science fiction, too . If your teacher puts you in a group, you might not feel pleased, because you really prefer to work alone . Sometimes, you work a bit too slowly and worry about things that don’t really matter . It is okay to make mistakes . Don’t feel bad when you do, just move on . Remember, asking for help can be a good thing in school . You like to see good grades on your report card, but don’t like to brag too much . It just feels good to be smart and to be correct . That is why you are the BRAINY BANANA .

If you are a STRAWBERRY… you are a “people person,” that means you enjoy talking and being with people in school and at home . You might be the first-born child in your family or an only child . You might have to work on finishing things that you start . You learn by asking questions, listening, and trying things yourself . Strawberry kids like books with a lot of feelings and conflicts .

You like stories with imagination and excitement where kids like you solve problems . In a group, you motivate and encourage people . Sometimes you are the leader too . You get excited about learning, but you can have trouble following directions . Reminders are good, because you get so busy and may forget things . You like to make good grades because it means that your teachers see how great your ideas are and put it up for others to enjoy . You come up with new ideas and ways to solve problems that others may miss . Creativity makes you happy . But sometimes, you are better at coming up with the ideas than actually finishing the project and things can get hectic in your life! That never stops you though . That is why you are the SURPRISING STRAWBERRY .

If you are a GRAPE…you are a person who cares about how other people feel . You like being a helper and feel good when your teacher or parents thank you for what you do . Sometimes

you worry about what other people think . Maybe you worry about making mistakes . You may be the baby in your family or one of many children in a big family . You like being good and don’t like conflicts .

When a Grape picks a book, it might be a fairy tale with a happy ending or a fantasy . You may like series books, too . You learn by touching and by watching carefully . You need to see things done a few times before you will try them on your own . If your teacher puts you in a group, you like to be in charge of materials, so that things stay neat and organized .

You like to learn but are sometimes afraid to ask questions because you don’t want people to look at you when you do . Try to have more confidence in yourself! You have a lot to offer . That’s why you are the GOOD GRAPE .



I would like to tell everyone that there is an ultimate wedding timeline. That you should have such and such done, in so many months before the wedding, but you know it’s simply just not true. In today’s world we don’t confine ourselves to everyone does “this,” because life is not that clean and tidy.

Let’s face it, some girls get engaged and three months later pull off the sweetest, prettiest wedding you’ve ever attended . Some people get engaged and have long, beautiful engagements and the same sweet, beautiful wedding . So timelines are pretty much a thing of our imagination . With that in mind, let’s come up with an order for planning your wedding based on where you are in life .

First things, first — Budget . Not very exciting and I know you would probably want me to candy coat this part, but I can’t . Budgets make or break major corporations and in the long run, they can make or break your wedding . Without a budget, you will start spending on this and that, things that are “cute” or the “oh, I love that” things and then suddenly, you’re out of money to spend on the things that are really important to you . So PLEASE, make a budget . How? Well, here’s a tip . You and your fiancé need to sit down and figure out who may contribute . All sorts of people have probably said, “I’d like to help,” at some time or another . Your great Aunt Sweetie Pie may have said “I’d like to buy your gown,” or Uncle Total Kindness said, “I’d like to pay for part of your honeymoon .”

Yeah!! Now you know a starting place; on to more fun stuff…

UltimateTheUltimatewedding timeline

The

j— Tracy Perrine


Close your eyes and begin to dream . If you had unlimited funds and no time constraints, what would your wedding day look like? Start with waking up that morning and imagine the entire day . This is how you start the list . What’s really important to you? You’ll know by what you see in your daydream . Then make sure you write it down!

You’ll know whether or not location, your dress, or food is important . Let’s face it, if your dream included a sit-down dinner, then food is pretty important . If your dream is about everyone getting together and hanging out to dance and celebrate, then location is more important to you . If your dream is the opening of those big doors and walking down that aisle, then the “wow factor dress” is more important to you . Once you know what things are most important, you can build your budget . It doesn’t mean you aren’t going to have other things, but it ensures that you spend money and time focusing on what’s most important first .

Guests and Location — Now, everything else starts to fall in line . Based on your dreams and finances, you determine the number of guests . Have everyone make their lists and cut it down from there . Don’t worry about addresses right now, just get a general head count . (A rule of thumb to remember is only 70%-80% of your guests will show up depending on time of year and other factors .) Once you know the number of people, you can find and reserve ceremony, reception and rehearsal sites . And a huge chunk of the decisions are now off your plate!

Dresses — I have NEVER in all my life had to tell a bride to start shopping for her dress, so we’ll assume you’re already looking . But there are a few things to consider . First, what is the style of your wedding? Do you want very formal or are you the cute and sweet type?

Maybe you’re the French country type or you could be the eclectic type? Whatever you choose, your style will be reflected in your dress . The tricky part is finding color and bridesmaids’ dresses . What is most challenging is just about everyone has an opinion and it’s nearly impossible to please everyone . It may be a hard road to travel, so have a plan, even a flexible one, to help keep everyone on the same page and not end up feeling out of sorts .

Details — The next few steps are filling in the details for your big day . The big thing is order really doesn’t matter here; it just all needs to be done . So my suggestion is- if it’s not one of the top five on your dream list - delegate it!

This is when you need to pick out a photographer, videographer, if you are using one, reception entertainment, band or DJ, a travel agent to help with booking your honeymoon . If you’re interested in booking an engagement photo session, schedule it now . I always encourage people to get engagement pictures . They are usually included in your photographers’ quotes; plus they are great to use in décor, such as a guest book at the wedding . They also can be just plain fun pictures for you to have . You will also need to pick ceremony music and musicians if need be . Now would be the time to pick a florist, a baker, and a hotel for out-of-town guests .

Now start compiling your addresses on your guest list . Order invitations and stationery; decide how to address them (calligrapher, print or hand address) . Remember you’ll need to send out your invitations six to eight weeks prior to the wedding, so leave enough time for both printing and addressing the invitations .

Hair and makeup — Let’s go back to your dream wedding day . Did you want to have someone else do your hair and makeup? What about your nails and

toenails? If yes, you’ll need to schedule time on the day of your wedding . Plus, you’ll want to have a hair and makeup run through beforehand which requires a little more than just showing up for an appointment . You’ll need pictures and ideas, so spend some time getting some ideas from magazines or online .

Transportation — What are your plans for arriving at each location? Are you using limos all day, or a horse carriage ride, maybe the whole wedding party is going on a shuttle? Whatever your dream, you’ll need to schedule it .

Catering — Different caterers have different rules . Mostly they want a head count a week prior and they want to know your selections a month out . Not only are they pretty flexible and helpful, they can handle all sorts of extras from table rentals to bar service accommodations . Take their advice, as long as it doesn’t conflict with what you want . They know how they best run the food show, so let them .

There is one major detail that should be on the top of your list about one month out . You have to have a marriage license! Please do not wait too long for this . One month is good timing, and give or take a week either way is fine . However, this is the one detail not to miss . It’s just that you aren’t legally married unless you have a license . So start planning; all your hard work will pay off when you walk down the aisle and enjoy the wedding of your dreams!



A Professional Wedding DJ’s PerspectiveWhen looking for professional wedding entertainment, pay close attention to who you hire . Your DJ will carry much of the responsibility for the atmosphere of your event . A good wedding entertainment company should be about more than just setting up and playing music at random without any advance preparation . They should want to know your preferences, the type of music you like and don’t like . Many will also offer to create an itinerary for you . TIPS for finding the best Professional Wedding Entertainment:

• Ask for recommendations from trusted friends . Personal knowledge of your DJ company is preferred .

• If you have already selected other vendors (caterers, florist, etc .), ask them for recommendations, as well . They will have experience working with a variety of DJs and can give you an insider’s opinion .

• Speak with the company by phone first . If they are a possibility, make an appointment to meet and discuss details .

• In some companies, DJs work on a rotation basis . Be sure to confirm who will work your event . Make a point to meet that particular DJ in person .

• Determine how much of the company’s business actually comes from weddings . Find a company who earns the majority of their income from weddings . They will be familiar with the special requirements of ceremonies and receptions .

• Ask about their equipment and make sure they are able to provide the best sound for your venue .


Wedding TrendSpotting

— Cheryl & Sherie LaPrade

The arrival of spring means the start of the busiest wedding season of the year. If you, or

someone you know, are tying the knot this year, you may be

looking for inspiration and ideas for the special day. As wedding

stationery designers, each season we hear a lot about what's “in” and what's not. While it would

take a small book to cover all the trends, we will highlight some of

this year's biggest and best.

Juneis the #1 wedding month

Decemberis the #1 month

to become engaged!


intage RomanceV Vintage styles continue to be a hot trend this year . Great Gatsby-inspired receptions, classicand timeless wedding gowns, and feathered or

jeweled headbands add vintage flair . Large veils are out in favor of birdcage veils, feather fascinators, oversized flowers and brooches fashioned into hair clips . Invitations include art deco elements, monograms and hand-drawn illustrations . Another popular item is an old-fashioned “getaway car,” with many brides choosing classic town cars, Bentleys and London-style black taxi cabs rather than the traditional limousine .

Dreamy TexturesWedding dress designers this spring are in love with romantic textured lace, soft-tiered ruffles, dreamy organza and frothy tulle . Fabric flower appliqués, both small and large, add to the femininity of this style . Texture is appearing everywhere, even in wedding cakes with buttercream icing and its fluffier, more natural appearance being chosen over the smooth, controlled look of fondant .

Handmade TouchesThe current downturn in the economy, along with the desire to be more environmentally conscious, has led more couples to choose handmade items for their wedding . Some of these may be purchased from handmade marketplaces, such as Etsy .com, while other crafty couples choose to create their own elements that lend a more personal touch to their wedding day . Some popular handmade projects include Mason jar lights, paper streamers, chalkboard paint signs and spray-painted vases or frames .

The Royal TreatmentIt’s official! April 29, 2011 is the next Royal Wedding, when Prince William will marry his long-time sweetheart, Kate Middleton, at Westminster Cathedral in London . What does this mean for other brides getting married this year? It’s well known that royal weddings have a lasting influence on bridal fashion and trends for years to come . At their engagement announcement, Kate wore a sapphire engagement ring (which previously belonged to Princess Diana) and an elegant matching blue dress . It should come as no surprise then, that sapphire, navy and royal blues are very popular choices this year for everything from dresses to flowers to décor . Brides are also increasingly favoring gemstones over the traditional diamond for their engagement rings .




W hy is a destination so appealing? Couples are choosing to forego the one day wedding event for a mini-vacation with their closest family and

friends . To share a relaxing few days rather than expending the energy and hard work it takes for a traditional wedding sways some brides to a smaller, more intimate destination wedding . Plus, destination weddings can be cheaper than a traditional wedding . With fewer guests and all-inclusive deals offered by many hotels and resorts, a destination wedding can be very affordable .

Where to start? With all weddings, one of the first considerations is your budget . If money is no object, then the two of you can pick any location, but you may need to be prepared to have a limited number of guests or you could pay some or all of your guests’ travel expenses . The reality is most people don’t have unlimited budgets, so look for ways

to save money . Find a less expensive destination or book your wedding in the off season . Many destinations offer a variety of packages, with dining and lodging options that may fit within you and your guests’ budgets .

Who to invite? It’s very likely that your event will have smaller attendance than a local, traditional wedding . However, don’t assume your guests will decline just because of the expense . If you’re going to a popular vacation area, it may be easier for your guests to consider it their own vacation . Make sure you give your guests as much advance notice as possible so they can begin making the necessary preparations and arrangements . NOTES: Ask your guests not to buy gifts to help offset their travel expenses . Also, while guests generally travel at their own expense, bridesmaids and groomsmen travel at your expense .

How to plan? Once you’ve found and booked a location,

Destination:Wedding

He popped the question. You said, “YES!” You’ve both decided to look at wedding options, including a destination wedding. Whether you’re

considering an exotic location or simply a location in the United States, destination weddings can be fun, less work and more affordable.

— Cindy Van Horn


lodging and event venues (which is easy with all-inclusive resorts and hotels), you need a local “point person .” This can be a professional wedding planner, a friend or family member who lives nearby or the wedding coordinator at your site . It is crucial to have someone local to help you plan, find and secure vendors, handle all the details, and be there on your wedding day to take care of any last minute issues .

When to arrive? If possible, you should visit your destination before selecting so you have a feel for the area and venues . Always arrive before your guests to take care of any last minute changes that may

Wedding Stats • 16percent of marriages are destination weddings . • Average budget for a destination wedding is $20,600 . ($28,082 is the average

amount spent on a traditional American wedding)

• 60percent of destination couples pay for the wedding themselves .

• Average number of guests at a destination wedding: 48 .

http://honeymoons .about .com

Why Destinations?Billy and Rachel Hyer of Hyer Images on some of the many reasons to consider a destination wedding:

From a professional photographer’s perspective, destination weddings have grown 400% in the last year alone . Here are a few reasons couples are choosing a destination wedding in Charleston, SC and why others seem to be making this choice too:

• Our friends and family live all over the world, so no matter where the wedding is, people have to travel . We may as well go some place fun!

• It is easy to keep the wedding small with a destination wedding .

• He proposed in Charleston and we both LOVE it there .

• The destination location is so beautiful; how can it not make the wedding experience more beautiful, as well .

• It combines the feeling of “formal” wedding and eloping .

• We will get to spend more quality time with our friends and family .

• And, depending on the location, it could simply be cheaper!

Most Popular DestinationsUnited States Las Vegas

Hawaii

Florida

U. S. Virgin Islands

New York City

San Francisco

Aspen

Lake Tahoe

Martha’s Vineyard

Napa Valley

AbroadJamaica

Bahamas

Caribbean

Mexico

Grand Cayman

Costa Rica

Fiji

Bali

Italy

France

TIPS• Know the marriage requirements in

the state or country well in advance so you have time to get licenses, doctors or immunization certificates or other required items .

• Arrange for a courier to deliver gifts back home .

• Be safe – have signed contracts, talk with a person and don’t rely solely on the internet .

26 } pointe! spring 2011 Prices, plans, specifications subject to change without notice. See a sales counselor for details. © 2011 The Ryland Group, Inca

RC10

29

For more information on Taylor Plantation visit ryland.com or call (843) 767-4677 today!

Waterfront community, located on the banks of the Ashley River.

Community Features: Dorchester II School District • Walking Trails

• Community Clubhouse • Extraordinary Floorplans

Homes from the $150’s - $240’s

ryland.com

Beautiful homesand incredible prices at

Taylor Plantation!



laundrybumps laundrybumpsLaundry. It never ends, does it? The bump (or lump) on the floor that won’t go away! Clothes seem to multiply and before we know it we're surrounded by piles that feel like they’ll never get done. Whether the bump in your road is in the laundry room, teen’s bedroom, or your own closet, smoothing that bump can help you regain control.

Doing just one load of laundry each day may be the way for you to keep Mount Washmore from growing before your eyes . By “doing the laundry,” I mean you wash, dry, fold, hang up, and put it all away where it belongs . And your dryer is not a laundry basket! (flylady .net)

Laundry BASICS• Whites – Cotton towels, clothes and socks may be

washed together in warm to hot water with bleach .

• Colors – Lights to medium colored clothes of same density (fabric weight) can be combined in cold water . Density is important to keep from over drying lightweight pieces . Keep dark clothes of same density together and avoid mixing different fabric weights, such as flannels with lightweight synthetics . Wash flannel, sweats and fleece with jeans .

• Separates – Some items need to be washed separately, such as nappy (fuzzy) fabrics, new, very dark or red pieces .

• Delicates – Hand washing delicates will give them a much longer life . Labels are specific about what needs to be hand washed .

• Stains – Pre-treat heavy stains . Several of the stain treatments work quite well, however, for stubborn grease stains try regular Dawn for dishes . Pour a little on the stain, leave it overnight or longer, and wash in your regular load .

TIPS• Close zippers to prevent snags .

• Empty all pockets .

• Children – Your child could start doing his/her own laundry around age 12, depending on maturity . Keep “How-to’s” (like this article) in laundry area to keep mistakes to a minimum . Children can sort socks as young as 3 and seem to enjoy the responsibility and fun of the “match game .” Keep children’s drawers, bins and shelves easily accessible so they can put their own clothing away, usually around age 5 .

• Socks – Ask each family member to roll their socks together before placing in dirty clothes bin . Keep sock sets in small laundry bags while washing and you’ll have fewer unmatched socks . However, if you do find a few, keep those wayward socks either in the owner’s sock drawer or in one central basket in the laundry area for later matching .

— Letty Parrish


You want your laundry area to be inviting even if it’s a small room or closet! Hang a picture or saying that makes you smile.

My second favorite household chore is ironing . My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint . — Erma Bombeck

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance . — Author Unknown

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be . No one else cares . Why should you? — Erma Bombeck "Normal is just a setting on your dryer ." — Patsy Clairmont

Wash, Dry, Put away, Repeat. Wash, Dry, Put away, Repeat. And save time where you can.

• Fold clothes in the fewest folds possible and the easiest pattern for you .

• Fold clothes right out of the dryer to save on ironing . Take a tip from sailors: you can put more items in a drawer, shelf or suitcase if you roll instead of fold .

• Before purchasing, check fabric to see if it wrinkles . More wrinkles mean more maintenance, especially ironing . And that’s another bump in your life’s road you may want to eliminate all together .

Frequently Asked QuestionsHow long should I use towels and sheets OR wear something before I wash it?

• Some use a towel once and then it goes into the laundry basket . Others use it multiple times . Make your own choice, but don’t extend past one week . Using your bath towel multiple times will eliminate loads of wash per week for your family .

• If you shower each night, your pj’s and sheets should still stay fresh for a week .

• Except for pj’s, all clothing worn next to your skin should be washed after one day . Try slacks for three or four days, dress shirts two days, and jackets or coats until the cuffs or collar look worn or dirty .

Which laundry detergent should I use, liquid or powder?

• Liquid laundry detergents tend to be better at removing oily and greasy stains and are excellent for pre-treating stains . Powder detergents work better on mud and clay .

• Liquid detergents dissolve faster in the wash and typically don’t leave residue on clothes .

Clean. Single. Looking for a mate.


U-turnMaking afor family — Billie Jo Clark

DID YOU KNOW?

The most commonspeed limit sign in the United States

is 25 m.p.h.


In February of 2010, in the midst of my own work/school/church/family priority struggles, I received a college assignment that would change my life forever . I had to read the book Choosing to Cheat: Who Wins When Family and Work Collide by Andy Stanley, and then write a paper that required me to re-evaluate my life priorities . God could not have placed this book and assignment in my lap at a more opportune time .

As I began to read Stanley’s book, God began to speak deep down into my heart . More than ever, He reminded me that the time we have with our spouses and families on this earth is fleeting . God wants us to give Him our priorities and not waste any of those precious moments .

“Where you spend your time is an indication of where your loyalties lie .” This statement from Stanley’s book was very difficult for me to swallow . I love my husband and love spending time with him; he is my best friend . Unfortunately, like many of the people Stanley spoke about, I would always say my husband was my priority . However, to him, my actions were expressing my loyalties laid with work, school, other people and the places in which I volunteered . I was not trying to let my husband down on purpose, but my actions were not showing him that he was my priority . Our husbands need to know they are number one in our lives .

Another roadblock many women encounter when trying to balance their priorities is the need to please everyone . “Submission has nothing to do with fulfilling a role you were not designed to fill . That’s not submission . That’s emotional suicide . God isn’t honoring that .” Needless to say, I was committing emotional suicide . I was always trying to please everyone . As a result, I was killing myself because I was always so stressed out and tired . When I did have time to spend with my husband, I had no energy . This was obviously not God’s will for my life . Through this statement, God allowed me to discover I needed to begin to change my attitude, manage my time more wisely, and learn to say “No .”

I believe once God knew my eyes and ears were wide open, He began to use Stanley’s book to gently awaken me to His will . “For in choosing to put your family first, you have brought your priorities in line with those of your heavenly Father . And when a man or woman surrenders his or her will to the Father, He takes responsibility for the outcome of the journey .” I do not want to be in control of my journey; I want

God to be in total control . When we try to maintain control of any chaotic situation, the results are normally terrible and we end up feeling completely helpless . We must make a solid commitment before knowing the results or nothing will ever change . Merely leaving room for change will result in reverting back to our old habits .

Even when we are uncertain about taking huge risks to better our lives for our families, God is always there to make the seemingly impossible better than we could have ever imagined . As I have realized this more and more, God has been making the impossible, possible . Amazingly, He has given me more time to complete my work and school tasks, and more time to spend with my husband . God has truly heard the desires of my heart and has begun to bring balance into our home .

ROAD MAP ON HOW TO BEGIN PUTTING YOUR FAMILY FIRST

Read Choosing to Cheat, Who Wins When Family and Work Collide by Andy Stanley .

Pray to God Psalm 19:12-13, “Forgive my hidden faults . Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me .”

Ask yourself and God, why you are choosing, work, church, and/or other people over your family; analyze your thoughts and reasoning for doing this .

Ask your spouse and/or your family to read your self-assessment and humbly allow them to freely comment on your self-assessment and where they feel they are on your priority list .

Write out an honest self-assessment about how you are doing as a spouse with your time and priorities .

Define safeguards (4-7) that will get you on the right path to placing your spouse and/or your family as your first priority . Then commit to those safeguards . (Example: I will not work more than 40 hrs a week .)

Where does your family fit on your priority list? Have you ever heard your

spouse or family say, “I want to be your first priority,” or “I just want you to spend time with me?”

These are road signs that are blatantly telling you to make a U-turn and re-evaluate your life priorities.

U-turnfor family — Billie Jo Clark





GOOD WEATHER MEANS….GOOD FOOD! Spring’s here and it’s time to start watching for fresh produce that’s coming

in season. This may be the perfect year to start a new family tradition around the search for fresh food.

A perfect way to slow down from a busy week of work, school, practice, games, etc . is to pack a picnic, load everybody in the car and drive out in the country in search of a local farm stand . Better still, have everyone prepared to pick – strawberries, blueberries, whatever is in season at the time . The fresh-picked goodness is well worth the effort and the memories you’ll make will be priceless!

After you’ve picked your quota and purchased some other goodies, treat your family with an old-fashioned picnic . Find a local park or roadside picnic tables along scenic routes; pull out the tablecloth, cooler and dive in! Even the simplest of fare becomes extraordinary when served outside in new surroundings . A walk through the woods or few minutes on the playground and you’ll have created a day everyone remembers! If you’re not much for picnics, try a new, local eatery for some added adventure . Ask for recommendations from locals at the farmers market .

ANTS DID YOU KNOW?

• The legs of the ant are very strong so they can run very quickly . If a man could run as fast for his size as an ant can, he could run as fast as a racehorse .

• Ants can lift 20 times their own body weight .• The average life expectancy of an ant is

45-60 days . • Ants use their antenae not only for touch,

but also for their sense of smell . • The head of the ant has a pair of large,

strong jaws . The jaws open and shut sideways like a pair of scissors .

• Adult ants cannot chew and swallow solid food . Instead they swallow the juice which they squeeze from pieces of food . They throw away the dry part that is left over .

• The ant has two eyes, each eye is made of many smaller eyes . They are called compound eyes .

• Ants never sleep .

FRESHFooD

Coosaw Pointe Farmer's Market

April 13 through the last Wednesday in OctoberWednesdays, 12 p .m . until 6 p .m .

Located off Park Forest Parkway at the ballfield behind Publix .i i


Tasty & Easysandwiches for school lunchboxes or road trips

Turkey Caesar SandwichIngredients1 tbsp . grated Parmesan cheese2 tbsp . light mayonnaise2 tsp . freshly squeezed lemon juice1 dash Worcestershire sauce2 slices multigrain bread2-3 leaves romaine lettuce3 oz . thinly sliced smoked turkey Salt and pepper

Directions1 . In a small bowl, combine Parmesan, mayonnaise, lemon

juice, and Worcestershire; season with salt and pepper . Spread on both bread slices .

2 . Break lettuce into large pieces; layer half on 1 slice of bread . Top with turkey, remaining lettuce, and bread .

Martha’s Favorite Tuna Salad SandwichIngredients12 oz . good-quality tuna, packed in oil, drained2 stalks celery, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced1 apple (such as McIntosh or Gala), peeled, cored, and cut into 1/4-inch pieces3 tablespoons light mayonnaise2 tablespoons freshly chopped basil leaves1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice8 slices sourdough bread Salt and pepper

Directions1 . In a medium bowl, combine tuna, celery, apple,

mayonnaise, basil, and lemon juice; mix well . Season with salt and pepper .

2 . On a work surface, divide tuna salad among 4 slices bread; top with remaining 4 slices bread and serve .

The New Peanut Butter & JellyIngredients¼ cup peanut butter2 tbsp . apple butter4 (10-inch) sandwich wraps, such as flour tortillas 2 tbsp . apple jelly1 apple, cored, halved, and cut into thin slices8 slices crisp, cooked bacon

Directions1 . In a small bowl, use a spoon to mix the peanut butter and

apple butter together .2 . On a clean work surface, lay the wraps and divide the

peanut-butter mixture among them, spreading it equally on 1/2 of each wrap . Spread the apple jelly evenly on the other half of each .

3 . Place 4 or 5 slices of apple on the peanut-butter mixture and 2 strips of bacon on top of the apples . Fold the tortillas into wrap sandwiches .

PB+J with BananasIngredients8 slices cinnamon-raisin swirl bread1/2 cup peanut butter2 medium bananas, sliced1/4 cup jam, raspberry or strawberry

Directions1 . Spread half the bread slices with peanut butter and top

with banana slices . 2 . Spread jam on remaining bread slices and lay them, jam

side down, on top of the peanut butter and bananas slices .3 . Slice sandwiches in half diagonally and serve .


Tomato SandwichIngredients1 ripe tomato2 slices bread1 tbsp . mayonnaise Salt and pepper

Directions1 . Slice the tomato thickly -- about as thick as a slice

of bread . 2 . Spread the bread with mayonnaise . Place the tomato on

one slice . 3 . Sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste . Top with the other

slice of bread .

Loony TunaIngredients1 6 oz . can of chunk light tuna (packed in water and then drained)2 tbsp . sour cream2 tsp . pickled capers¼ tsp . . dried mustard1 cup grape tomatoes1 pita round, cut into 2 pockets Pinch salt handful of fresh green beans

Directions1 . Stir the tuna, sour cream, capers, mustard, and salt until

well combined . 2 . Divide the tuna salad, grape tomatoes, and green beans

between the two pita pockets and stuff it all in .

Strawberry and Cream Cheese SandwichIngredients1 tablespoon reduced-fat cream cheese ¼ teaspoon honey⅛ teaspoon freshly grated orange zest2 slices very thin whole-wheat bread2 medium strawberries, sliced

Directions1 . Combine cream cheese, honey and orange zest in a bowl . 2 . Spread bread with the cheese mixture . Place sliced strawberries on one side of the sandwich and top with the other slice of bread .

Hum YumIngredients1 can (15 oz .) garbanzo beans (also called chick peas), drained and rinsed1 clove garlic, peeled1 jar (7-ounce) roasted red peppers, minus the oil¼ cup tahini (Find this sesame paste with international foods or peanut butter in the grocery store .)¼ tsp . salt5-6 bagels, cut in half, or 2 or 3 pita rounds, cut in half6 slices Muenster cheese Veggies of your choice (i .e . cucumbers, sprouts, tomato) Juice of half a lemon

Directions1 . Put the garbanzo beans, garlic, roasted red peppers, tahini,

lemon juice, and salt in the food processor . Purée for about 1 minute until it is a smooth mush (hummus!) . This hummus is on the soupy side when you first make it, but it thickens if you let it rest for a few minutes .

2 . Spread the hummus on the bottom half of each bagel, and layer with cheese and veggies . Add the top half of the bagel and serve .


— Debra MaloneI magine my surprise the first time my mother-in-law introduced me as her daughter-in-LOVE . . . Both I and

the acquaintance I was meeting were visibly enamored with the new term that neither one of us had ever heard. That’s how it started!

From that day, my precious mother-in-law referred to me as her daughter-in-love . Yes, we have a great relationship, beyond measure, but that one phrase “kicked it up a notch” needless to say . So, what did I do? I started referring to her as my mother-in-love! I think we both realized what happened every time we said it . . . it endeared us to each other a little more EACH and EVERY time! We were speaking something in the natural that was facilitating something deeper .

Soon, her daughter and I began to do the same . . . referring to each other as sisters-in-love! Since both of us grew up without sisters, we were anxious to cultivate a relationship together . We began to experience the same growing closeness with each use of the phrase “in-love .” When asked, my sister-in-love explained the term as, “we are not bound up with the “in-law” stereotype, we are truly a family in love . . .unconditional love .”

Raising two boys, I knew that one day, I wanted to become a mother-in-love! We prayed for both our sons to meet and marry the women that God had planned for their lives . In this prayer for our daughters-in-love-to-be, I also asked they would both be as open to creating a loving and nurturing relationship with me as I longed for with them and also, for them with one another .

God has done that . . . both our sons are married to incredible, beautiful, loving women . In addition, both girls grew up without a sister and now consider each other as sisters-in-love . Recently, one of my daughter-in-loves shared this with me about our treasured phrase .

“I’ve only just recently started to truly understand what being an “in-love” really meant . Being called an “in-love” before I ever felt like one, prepared the way and allowed me to step into something that I did not fully comprehend at the time . I feel like after hearing it over and over that it finally started to sink into my core, that this is my family! This came with the realization that I did not fully understand what FAMILY was . My “in-loves” are these amazing people who love me for me, who care about me, want the best for me, and love me unconditionally! The bond of marriage may have joined us together, but it ’s the journey with them that has been the most rewarding! Being an “in-love” allows me to go past the barriers and lines of being an “in-law” to being a sister, a daughter, a niece, and an aunt! I truly am in love with my “in-loves”!

God has blessed me with “in-loves” that are not only my husband’s family and my son’s wives, but we are knitted together in my heart “in-love .”

As Ephesians says, speaking the truth to each other in love, has moved us, as a family to an “in-love” family! Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15 Are you in-laws or in-loves?

In-Laws OR In-Loves

Merging Relationships

p

p


In-Laws OR In-Loves

pIf you celebrate in a more traditional fashion with breakfast in bed and dining out later in the day, add a personal touch with her favorite flower . Add a single stem to the breakfast tray or give her a bouquet at the restaurant .

For dining out, find a restaurant that she’s never been to but wants to try, or return to a place that has special significance to her .

Rather than the typical meal out in a restaurant, try spending a day visiting a local park, gardens or museum . (Plan to do something SHE would pick even if it’s not your favorite!)

Avoid crowded restaurants, pack a picnic and go to the park .

Find a special project you can take your mom to do with you, e .g . bead shop to make jewelry, pottery painting, etc .

Plan a day trip to a nearby city or town to explore shops, tourist attractions and restaurants .

Plan a unique outing for your dad (and siblings) by taking him someplace he’s always wanted to go, such as a nearby war museum, car museum or other .

If looking for an adventure, go for fishing trip, airplane ride over the area, skydiving or any other activity he enjoys or wants to try .

Find out what his favorite meal is and make it or take him out for it .

If your dad loves baseball, check the schedule of the local teams and celebrate at the ballpark or with tickets to see an upcoming game .

Does your dad love cars or boats? Consider renting his dream car/boat for him to use for a day .

Sometimes the best gift for dad is practical – power tools, gadgets or anything from a special interest he has would be wonderful!

Some moms would like to spend the day in quiet solitude – make that happen!

Pamper her with gift certificates for manicure, pedicure, massage, her favorite stores, and even restaurants .

Plan a girl’s night out for your mom and her friends!

Look for upcoming events you and your mom can attend . The gift of tickets to go to something with you is doubly good!

Even if you’re short on funds, there is always a special project around the house, yard or car that’s been put off . Finish it, without being asked, and surprise her with a handmade card!

If you’re miles away from your mom, plan early to make sure your card or flowers arrive on time . Then make sure you call her first thing in the morning!

Another idea for those separated by miles, the gift of a mini-vacation to visit you, a favorite location or just for a change of scenery would be a great way to honor mom .

Start planning early if you won’t be with dad on Father’s Day . Find a way to make him feel special and appreciated even from a distance .

Watch old home movies from your childhood or maybe even his younger years .

Relive a special childhood memory with your dad . Some of the best gifts can’t be wrapped .

The key with dads seems to be in knowing what their interests are – sports, cars, tools, books, movies, yes, some dads even like getting ties!

Mother’s Day IDEAS

Father’s Day IDEAS

Some of the best gifts can't

be wrapped!


Documents

pointe! magazine - Spring 2011