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Presidential Address

Sarah Mortell, PresidentMadam President (but she just gets her close friends to call her Madam Pres, or Madam for short), is the president of the Phil, and arguably of Trinity, or at least the economics department. Students who expect strong-arm leadership are most certainly incorrect, and will be silenced. without prejudice. Expect authoritative chairing of the weekly Thursday night debates, aggressive interrogation of celebrity guests and a liberal application of the ‘Verboten’ stamp assigned to any freshers deemed to be more ‘born for the Hist’.

Welcome to The Phil, Trinity and the best four years of your life! Congratulations, you have weathered the poop storm of the LC and the points race to arrive victorious at Front Arch ready to start the next chapter! SPOILER: It’s going to be class! You seem to have made brilliant decisions up until this point and it’s time to make another - join The Phil this Freshers Week! Why “The Phil” you ask? I hope you are sitting down for this one, because we’ve got more to offer you than any other society on campus, pinkie promise.

So what is “The Phil”? Founded in 1683, the University Philosophical Society is the oldest student society in Trinity College (and the world). While we still carry our proud and rich history of intellectual debate and discourse, Oscar Wilde and everything in between with us today, we have Pokémon evolved into something so much more. Today we are the largest society on campus with 10,000 members and hundreds of events throughout the year!

Clear your calendar for Thursdays between now and Christmas because every week we host debates in our impressive Edwardian chamber! Here you can come and see Trinity’s finest minds battle against world class experts on topics as diverse and controversial as abortion rights, legalising all drugs and liberal support for Pope Francis. Look out for the Economic Inter-varsity debates (a Phil exclusive!) this year where we will be taking on the best of Yale and Oxford.

We have weekly workshops, a paper reading club, a book club, a Women’s Series where we host events to promote the inclusion of ladies, a schools outreach programme, subsidised trips in Ireland and abroad (including Croatia, Malaysia and Berlin) and a Maidens debating competition for beginners to get you started on all of of the above!

Just when you think it can’t get better, it absolutely can. The Phil is known for our world class guest speakers - check out pg. 10 to see who is dropping by to say hello this year! Expect to see Dame Judi Dench, Chris Hadfield, Lemony Snicket and Steve Coogan to name but a few!

War of the words and A List celebs not doing it for you? Fear not new friend, we prioritise having a good time just as much as we do a good clash of ideas! How does being led to a party in the Wicklow mountains by a trail of glow sticks sound? We do college entertainment like no one else! It kicks off in FW with the most jam packed schedule; everything from the Comedy Debate to speed dating with the highlight of Freshers Week being Club Philth on Thursday hosted in association with Trinity Ents. All of this with a truck load of free food (burritos, crepes AND breakfast every morning!) thrown in for good measure! That’s what I’M talking about!

So there you have it! For less than the price of a return Dart (6 euro) you can sign up for a 4 year membership and a lifetime of memories. In all 330 years of The Phil, the only thing missing is you!

Previously at the PhilChanning Tatum Bill Bryson · Nile Rogers Bram Stoker Jonah Hill Ira Glass · Kele Okereke Angela Merkel Dan Ariely · Edmund Phelps · Oliver Stone Jane Goodall Joanna Lumley · Pádraig Harrington Al Pacino AC Grayling · Johnny Marr · Gabriel Byrne Helen Mirren John Hume · Jon Voight Tim Draper Winston Churchill David Cronenburg · Newt Gingrich John C. Reilly Jack White · Dolores O’ Riordan OscarOscar Wilde Salman Rushdie · Roddy Doyle Dana White Michael Gambon · Seann William Scott Naomi Campbell Dominic West · Ruth Bader Ginsburg Desmond Tutu John Banville · Mohamed ElBaradei Hugh Laurie Jenna Marbles Jonathan Rhys Myers Stephen Fry FW De Klerk · David Trimble · Bob Geldof Conan O’Brien Spike Milligan · John C. McGinley Whoopi Goldberg Rafa Benitez · Jimmy Wales AlexAlex Ferguson Germaine Greer · Bill O’Reilly John Hurt Julian Fellowes · Stephen Pinker Richard Dawkins Terry Pratchett · Pete Doherty Joseph Stiglitz Christopher Lee Bobby McFerrin Courtney Love Rush Limbaugh · Mitsuko Uchida Tommy Hilfiger Fredrik Reinfeldt · Steve Redgrave Nancy Pelosi Martin Wolf · JP McManus Meghan Markle Seamus Heaney · Justin Cooke Vivienne Westwood Mary RRobinson · The Edge William Butler Yeats Paul Krugman Garret Fitzgerald Bono Mary McAleese and many more!

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Monday9-12 Free Breakfast, Phil Conversation Room14:30 Speed Dating, the ChamberAt the Phil we live for the art of not taking yourself too seriously, and what could be less serious than some light speed dating? It’s a great way to meet people early on, and a perfect opportunity for laying some solid groundwork with that fine specimen of a Philosophy student who caught your eye on the way in. 17:30 Comedy Colours Debate with UCD, The ChamberIf you had any doubts that you’d chosen the right college, come and have your fears assuaged by the Phil’s top comedians, as we rip literal chunks out of UCD’s “best” and “brightest” debaters in our Colours Debate! Leave us to mop the blood off the floors and walls post-debate as you feast on a lavish, themed reception guaranteed to get you pumped up for the week ahead at the Phil!

Tuesday9-12 Free Breakfast, Phil Conversation Room12:00 Giant Table FootballWho doesn’t love being strapped to something inflatable where your movements are dependent on someone else’s co-ordination? Falling aside, there’s no better place to meet your future five-a-side teammates.14:30 Treasure HuntThis year, the Phil brings you their very own treasure hunt with a chance to make new friends, take part in exciting challenges and win extraordinary prizes. All you need is yourself and something to take photos with. Be prepared to approach complete strangers, find Trinity’s secret places and go wild!17:30 Food and Drink Gets Philthy, Phil ConvoJoin in as the Phil’s finest go head-to-head with Food and Drink’s sauciest, and prepare to find yourself in the throes of the messiest, most elaborate, most depraved turf war you’re likely to ever experience. If you ever wanted the chance to show off your mixing skills or use the frisson of a competitive environment to impress someone three years older than you, now is your chance.

Freshers Week Timetable

Thursday9-12 Free breakfast, Phil Conversation Room13:00 Debating Workshop, Phil Convo15:00 Flower Crown Making with TAF, Phil Conversation Room17:00 Halls Luas ChallengeDo you like public transport? If so, join the Phil for the Halls Luas Challenge, where we’ll give you a fitting introduction to the college commute. Regardless of whether or not you actually live in halls, meet us at the Milltown Luas at 5pm to kickstart the final night of Freshers Week!19:00 Freshers Week Comedy Debate: THW Live Fast and Die Alone, The ChamberJoin us this Freshers Week Thursday evening to kick off our weekly Thursday night debates in style. With exciting guests, hilarious speeches by members of the Phil, and a cracking reception followed by the legendary Club Philth, there’s something for anyone who’s up for a memorable night. Prepare yourself for a lavish post-debate reception with face–painting and a more few surprises to brighten up the night before we hit the town.22:30 Club Philth

Friday9-12 Free breakfast, Phil Conversation Room10:00 onwards, Movies and Fortbuilding with FilmSoc, Phil Conversation Room

Wednesday9-12 Free breakfast, Phil Conversation Room11:30 The Bram Stoker Club Presents: “Ancient Methods of Birth Control”, a paper by Clare Ní Cheallaigh, Phil Conversation Room14:00 Chris Lubbe Speaks to the Phil, The Chamber17:00 Cable-tie AdventureAre you ready to trawl Dublin’s hotspots? Prepare to be cable-tied to a total stranger in the hope that they’re a complete ride, or instead make a run for it when they start talking about their imaginary friend Laurence. Either way, it’ll be a laugh, with ‘fun’ tasks at every stop and the winner taking home a fabulous prize. Meet outside the GMB at 17:00, but don’t be late or all the good ones will be gone!

Well Hey There Fresher!So you've finally made it. School is finished forever. Your bright shiny future is stretching out ahead of you, full of glittering promise. What's the first thing I should do with this new-found freedom, you ask? The answer is simple. Join the Phil. It'll be the best decision you make this year.

Who Are you to tell me what to do?Hey, I'm Hannah Beresford and I'm Vice-President of the Phil this year. Vice-President may be a bit of a mouthful, but my job is pretty simple – it's you guys! I'm here to make sure all the Freshers are having a super time as part of the Phil. You'll see me bopping around Front Square throughout Freshers Week, come on over at any time. Whether you want to chat about the Phil, college or simply can't remember where the bus stop for the 140 is, I'll be delighted to meet you!

MAIDENSCollege can be diluted down to four main things: having the craic, meeting new people, learning interesting things and occasionally getting free food. What captures all of these while steering clear of lecture theatres? MAIDENS. The Eamon O Coinne Memorial Maidens Competition is a highly prestigious debating tournament for novice debaters. It runs for most of first term, with rounds on at loads of different times to accommodate everyone! You'll be up against your mates and soon-To-be-mates battling it out in verbal combat. There is no better way to meet new people and look smart doing so. We will be giving you loads of help along the way too, with workshops and feedback galore, so you are sure to come out the end of your Maidens experience a debating warrior. The whole thing rounds up with a snazzy black tie Grand Final and one of the best nights out of the Trinity year. The lucky finalists will be treated to a fancy 3-course meal. On top of all that, the winner gets a MYSTERy prize!

FUDGE AND OTHER NICE THINGSDebating is one part of the Phil, but hanging out and having a good time is far more important. Every Thursday evening before our weekly Chamber debate we'll be running 'The Exec' in the Phil Conversation Room. This is mostly an opportunity for me to indulge in my love of baking by feeding you all. It's also about coming along to have a bit of a chat about anything from 'Made In Chelsea' to football to the political situation in Thailand. Come along, eat some fudge and make friends who'll still be in your life in decades to come.

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY? THE FUDGE WASN'T ENOUGH?If free food isn't your thing, there are loads of other ways to get involved with the Phil. Tried Maidens? Come to intervarsity competitions with us! Feel like meeting incredibly accomplished and Famous people and maybe getting a deadly new profile picture? Come along to any of our weekly Chamber debates and get yourself to our guests. Want to discuss cool new ideas? Come along to our weekly Bram papers; or even better, give one yourself. So, go on. Join the Phil. You won't regret it.

Hannah Beresford, Vice PresidentHannah came from the pastoral countryside of Fermoy, Cork to Trinity to study Law & Being from Cork. She will probably be your first port of call in the society And, As such, we thought it appropriate to provide a translation guide below:G'wan de rebel countay - Hey, I'm Hannah.Hai, y'aul flah-bag, wudja shtop, g'way wit yerself ya gowl - Well done in that Maidens round!Ye cute hoor, you're quare up for a laugh are ya? - Would you like to come out with us?

Club PhilthGlitter.

Flower Crowns.Mystery Prizes.

Be there.

22:30, Thursday Freshers Week’Opium Rooms

Tickets Six Euro

Phull Moon Phorest Phest

Phil PhunThis is it: you’ve escaped the fate of your intellectually inferior hunnies, doomed to an eternity of misery in UCD, and now you’re ready to enjoy all the lifelong opportunities and perks that a Trinity arts degree can bring your way. Although engaging in a lengthy dissection of that Introduction to Politics lecture is a noble way to spend time with your new classmates, we all know that true friendship begins on a night out, and that the truest and most outrageous of these adventures start here at the Phil. Whether you’re a creep in the corner, a budding orator or the star of the dancefloor, (let’s face it, we’ve all been all three at some point), Thursday nights have something for everyone. Come along to our post-debate receptions every week for a chance to discuss the hottest topics of the evening with some of Trinity’s finest minds, all while trying to decide which guest speaker will be the most up for shifting later that night. The good times continue all year, so be sure to pop in and curl up on the couches for a gossip any time. The glitter lasts a night but the love lasts a lifetime.

Anna Nichols is the steward, or ‘head-woo’ of the Phil, organising your Freshers Week and social life for the next 4 years of college. She’s not just “Michael Coleman’s girlfriend”, she’s also an EYP delegate, law student and resident bopper. Heading up a team of Orla and Eimear she’ll be bringing you to Club Philth, the Freshers Week cable-tie adventure and, later in the year, the Maidens final night and the Christmas party.

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‘‘Life is just one cup of coffee after another...’’Bertrand Russell

Coming to TheCatherine

Tate

Pete

Wentz

John

McEnroe

Audrey

Tautou

Steve

McQueen

Mona Eltahawy

Neil Harbisson

RObert engel

Peter Thiel

AA Gill

Kristin Chenoweth

David Axelrod

Martin Garbus

Cath Kidston

Chris Lubbe

Phil This YearJUDI

DENCH

Amy

Poehler

Steve

Coogan

Simon

Amstell

Chris

Hadfield

Lenny Abrahamson

Daniel Handler

Jon Snow

Margaret Atwood

Marjane Satrapi

Eric Maskin

AND MOre to be Confirmed!

Henry Holland

Thurday Night Debates“University is a time to play gracefully with ideas” - Stephen Fry at The Phil, 2010The Phil Thursday night debates are not only the bread and butter of our society but a staple of Trinity life. There’s something special about sitting in the chamber, the room buzzing with excitement and energy, and just listening to students and guests speak about things they believe in. As Mr Fry says so eloquently above, these four years are a time to challenge former beliefs and open your mind to ideas, opinions and topics that you might not have had a chance to consider yet. That’s exactly what we aim to do every week (as well as gobble up the lovely post-debate reception that Team Steward prepares obviously). So come and enjoy yourself! And who knows, you might get inspired to give it a go yourself (you’ll almost certainly get whisked away on our night out in any case). If you’ve any questions or general friendly banter or cute pictures of dogs with babies please email Clare at secretary@tcdphil.com.

The Termcard

THIS HOUSE WOULD LEGALISE ALL DRUGS25th September, in association with FLAC

Has the war on drugs failed? Is it time for a new tactic? Is it the duty of the law to fight dangerous substances or should we all be allowed to choose that danger? Kicking off the term in style with top guests including Dr. Antonio Maria Costa, former Executive Director of the UN Office on Drugs and Crime, and Bryan “the news” Dobson as chair, this is sure to be an unmissable debate.

THIS HOUSE BELIEVES THAT WOMEN SHOULD EMBRACE THE WORD ‘SLUT’2nd October

Why is he a legend and she a slut? In this age of sexual liberation we’re asking whether it is time for women to reclaim and proudly wear once damaging labels or reject them entirely as unalterably oppressive. Can we fight prejudice by announcing ourselves as sluts and proud of it? *sigh* I just wish I could hear what Sonya Barnett, co-founder of SlutWalk had to say on the issue. What’s that? She’s coming?! Unbelievable!!

THE LIFERAFT DEBATE9th October

Imagine there is a nuclear war, and the survivors (the audience) are setting sail to build a new society from the ground up. Come and see Trinity’s most accomplished and witty academics fight it out for the last remaining seat on the raft. Each professor must prove that his or her respective discipline is the one indispensable area of study needed for a new world to flourish. You get to decide who wins and push the others off the plank (not really that would be unsound).

FRESHERS WEEK COMEDY DEBATE: THIS HOUSE WOULD LIVE FAST AND DIE ALONE 18th September

Debateably (lol) the highlight of our Freshers Week Schedule, this annual illustrious battle of wit showcases The Phil’s finest funny men and women as well as a host of professional comedians as they attempt to outdo each other in comedic prowess. The prize? Eternal popularity and prestige. This year we are returning to our philosophical roots to discuss the most crucial and divisive philosophical question of all time: “Is wild and single REALLY the way to be?” So come, laugh, learn and gorge yourself on our decadent reception. Could there be a more perfect warm up to Club Philth? Answer: No. No there could not.

THIS HOUSE WOULD NOT LABEL THEIR SEXUALITY23rd October, in association with Q Soc

“Maybe some labels are best left in the closet”- Carrie Bradshaw. This week we’re teaming up with Q Soc to ask whether labelling one’s sexual orientation should become a thing of the past. Do labels limit and confine the complexity and fluidity of human sexuality? Do we really need to figure out what camp we’re in and stick to it? Can’t I just love people!? Come and watch Dominic Hanigan,TD battle it out against a former Mr. Gay World!

THIS HOUSE BELIEVES THAT ABORTION RIGHTS ARE NECESSARY FOR EQUALITY30th October

Chaired by Kitty Holland, the Irish Times journalist who first broke the story of Savita Halappanavar, this debate aims to facilitate a discussion on one of the most controversial and divisive issues in Irish society. With under half of the population against abortion on the request of the women, and the UN announcing that Irish Abortion Laws deny human rights, we ask whether women with no access to abortion can ever have access to true equality?

THIS HOUSE REGRETS LIBERAL SUPPORT FOR POPE FRANCIS13th November

“It is deplorable that homosexual persons are the object of violent malice in speech or in action.”- Pope Francis. Heralded by some as a compassionate anti-capitalist liberal, Pope Francis does seem to be humming a different tune to that of his predecessors. But should we be so quick to jump on the bandwagon of the leader of the Catholic Church? And is he all that lovely anyway?

THE STUDENT ECONOMIC REVIEW DEBATE: TRINITY VS. OXFORD20th November

For one week only The Phil is teaming up with the Student Economic Review to bring you this exciting event! Coming off the back of their win against Harvard last year, Trinity’s economic minds are gearing up to go head to head with Oxford’s finest debaters in what is always a heated competitive debate. Watch this space! Team Yale will be paying us a visit next term!

THIS HOUSE REGRETS KANYE WEST4th December

“I’m like a vessel, and god has chosen me to be the voice and the connector” So it has come to our attention that a lot of people feel very strongly about Kanye West, like VERY strongly, like do not underestimate how strongly they feel. And so we decided to solve this dispute in the only way we know how….. A DEBATE! Is he a shaper of discourse? A voice of the black community? A modern day philosopher? Or an arrogant hip-hop artist with questionable lyrics and strange tweets? Would civilisation be better off without him? Find out!

Clare Ní Cheallaigh, SecretaryClare is the secretary of the society, in charge of organising the Phil’s flagship events, our weekly Thursday night debates. You might notice a personal touch this year, with Clare hoping to incorporate her experience as a promotions employee with ‘Mega Events’ this Summer into both the motions and post-debate receptions. When you hear her introducing the motions every week you’ll probably recognise the voice; that’s right, she’s the woman from the ‘Ministry of Sound Massive Club Anthem Megamix 2014’ television ad broadcast on T4.

THIS HOUSE BELIEVES THAT ‘JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS’ IS NEVER AN EXCUSE16th October

Armies are built on a foundation of obedience to orders. From day one soldiers are taught to obey immediately and unquestionably. In many cases disobedience is a death sentence. Who do we blame then when something goes wrong? Can we expect moral actions from those stripped of autonomous reasoning? Or is there sometimes simply no excuse for an abhorrent act?

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Debating with the PhilI’m Ludivine and I’m in charge of all things competitive debating for the Phil. It’s my job to organise training and development, sign you up for and organise trips to competitions and to convene internal and external tournaments. At the Phil we don’t expect you to be a debater in order to be involved but we do provide you with a million opportunities to try it out no matter what your experience or commitment levels.

Well, other than Maidens (10/10, would compete again) we’ve got:• Weekly drop-in debates for casual, no-strings-attached fun• Weekly workshops on everything from Debating 101 or international relations to holistic

confidence-building sessions• You can travel with the Phil to competitions hosted all over Ireland, the UK and further afield at

the European and World Debating Championships (in Croatia and Malaysia this year). These are going to be some of the most memorable weekends of your time in college and come heavily subsidised too!

• Speak in one of our three internal competitions including Lizzies in Michaelmas Term which involves pairing you up with a more experienced Phil speaker. This one in particular is a great way to improve in a relaxed and social atmosphere

• Or volunteer at the competitions that we run in Trinity hosting teams from all around the world. The Trinity Intervarsity in January welcomes 400 students to the GMB while the Trinity Open in summer is a more intimate affair.

• There are other skills you can learn on the debating scene too, such as judging, tabbing (this involves keeping scores at tournaments, algorithms, software and things like that for those so inclined…), events management, or perfecting the art of hanging out and eating free food.

College is a great time to consider new issues and challenge your own worldview. Debating can do wonders for your confidence and communication skills and helps with college essays too, naturally building up some of that critical thought which could be ignored for the Leaving Cert. It also makes you feel more justified in your failure to attend lectures and for going out so much.

Competitive debating gets so exciting at the Phil that we have an extra large team to work on it: Meet Rachael, Conan and Stepan! We work for YOU and want to meet all of your debating needs, whether that’s running through the jargon or facilitating your rise to the top. At any point in the year you can catch us around college or drop us an email at dc@tcdphil.com. Watch out for our trusty debating board in the GMB which will keep you updated on all of our activities during the year as well as the debating resource Facebook page we’ll be launching in October!

Ludivine Rebet, Debates ConvenorLudivine is an organisational machine <une machine organisationelle>. As debates convenor, she’ll be sorting out the competitive debating in the Phil <le Philippe>. Ludivine was always embarrassed by how obviously French her surname sounded so switched on Facebook to her mother’s maiden name to sound more Irish. You will find her by searching ‘Ludivine Beaurepaire’.

HI!

STILL NOT CONVINCED?

YOU MIGHT LIKE THE TEAM

LIKE WHAT?

PhilSpeaksPhilSpeaks, the loveliest way of giving back, getting involved and generally being part of the Phamily. PhilSpeaks is the Phil’s nationwide secondary schools debating initiative. Every year, we run workshops around the country, a weekend long competition and a Pro-Am competition for 4th, 5th and 6th years. Our aim is to give the opportunity to debate and grow in confidence to as many students as possible, as well as to give them a hint of the incredible existence it is being a part of the Phil.

But you’re all released from the shackles of the school bell now, so where do you come into this? We need you to make all of this happen. Without as many ready, enthused and fantastic volunteers as possible, we can’t make this a reality. We need your ideas, your laughter, your arguments and your sandwich making abilities to continue the incredible work of PhilSpeaks. Team Schools take pride in our reputation for most fun events ever as well as our never ending stream of food and cheesy music. This is, of course, coupled with some top class debating insights to be passed on along the way. So give us a hand, have a massive amount of fun, share in the loveliness, pass on your debating prowess to the next generation and claim all glory from their victories. We can’t wait to see you there!

Lucy Murray, Schools ConvenorSome accuse the Phil of being a West-Brit institution. Lucy manages to insist she is both from the West (Galway), and a Brit (Slough or Surrey or something). Perhaps this is indicative of an identity crisis, of never really belonging, or perhaps its a massive benefit in her role of Schools-Convenor, expanding the Phil’s reach in bringing debating to as many schools as possible, or more likely it’s the identity crisis.

Have you ever wanted to trap a large group of people in a room and make them listen to you pontificate about your pet subject? Have you ever wanted to do so in comfortable surroundings littered with free tea, coffee and moderately-priced biscuits?

If so, then the Bram Stoker Club is exactly what you’re looking for. Every Wednesday at during term time, 1 o’clock is Bram O’Clock. The club gathers together to hear a paper delivered by one of you! In recent memory we’ve seen papers on every subject from Beauty to Necrophilia, and Extinct Languages to Transsexualism. At Bram, it’s all about the ideas, with one person delivering a paper, foliowed by a Q&A, all in the comfort of the Phil conversation room on the ground floor of the GMB.

If there’s something that’s worth writing about, Bram wants to hear about it. To submit, just fill out a submission form on the Phil Facebook page and we’ll be in contact. If you just want to keep up with the papers and all things Bram, add us as a friend at facebook.com/bramstokerclub. Looking forward to seeing and hearing from you!

Bram Stoker Club

Phil Discounts and Deals

Jamie Buckley, TreasurerJamie likes to party as much as the next guy, as long as the next guy is a sensible accountant in positive equity with an enthusiastic appreciation for budgeting and keeping up mortgage repayments on his hideaway holiday cottage in south Wexford. Still, if he gets his work done don’t be surprised if you see this guy still loitering around college at 9pm or later.

Dicey’s Mondays - free in before 11, €5 cover all night

See You Next Tuesday @ Lost Society - €3 entry

Dtwo Wednesdays - Free in before 11.15, Cheaplist before 12

Somewhere? @ Workman’s - €3 entry

Prhomo @ The Dragon - €5 entry

WAR Fridays - €5 entry

Hidden Agenda @ Opium Rooms - €2 off entry

Bean Hive - 20% Discount

iSmash - 10% discount

Savoy Cinema - €5 tickets Mon-Thurs, €1 extra for 3D films

Burritos and Blues - 2 for 1 Tuesdays, €5 burritos every day

Yogism - 10% off and buy one get one half price on Wednesdays

Cormac Henehan, LibrarianCormac is the librarian, responsible for the public relations of the society, including the posters, web presence and the magazine you’re holding right now. He’s also never going to sell out. Everyone in his school was so fake and now people are working for Deloitte and fake-ass places like that and they all listen to the same music in the same clubs with the same clothes in their blind 9-5 lives. Why can’t they wear blue blazers and cynicism like Cormac?

Muji - 10% off

Tuzo’s - €6 Burrito + drink

Trinity Pharmacy - 15% off

Gourmet Burger Kitchen - Student Menu

Wagamama’s - 2 for 1 mains, Mon - Thurs

Captain America’s - 2 for 1 mains, Mon - Fri; €3.50 selected pints and €3 selected cocktails Mon-Wed

Pieman - €5 Pie, €7.50 Pie Meal with Drink, €10 Pie Meal with Special Drink

Boland’s - 10% off Meal Deals

KC Peaches - 12% off

Domino’s - €10 off €30+ orders with code 4STUDENT

Maguire’s - €4 Meal Deal

YO! Sushi - 20% off takeaway sushi

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Where to find usduring Freshers Week:

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Our stand in Front Square

Front Gate

History of the PhilThe Phil has had a tortuous but definitely consistent and sufficiently recorded history, starting life in 1683 as the Dublin Philosophical society under thinkers like William Molyneux. The society unfortunately had to take a brief hiatus of 112 years in 1731 for being too real for the establishment fuddy-duddies of Trinity, and also for killing the junior dean (you’ll learn to sympathise with this after meeting the JD). It was while the Phil had its back turned during this century or so, based in the RDS in Donnybrook, that a young upstart society named the College Historical Society was established for the goals of “The verie muche fawninge and pettinge of a Mr Edmunde Burke and being totalle nerdes.” Fortunately in 1843, The college authorities let bygones be bygones and realised that young rowdy boys are bound to kill a few junior deans in their time and so the Phil once more crashed onto the college scene like a Fratboy and his college buddies in that episode of ‘8 Simple Rules’ when Kerry held a party when her parents went away (watch out Katie; they’re coming home early!).

Since then the Phil has been on the up and up, attracting members through the 19th century such as Oscar Wilde and former society president Bram Stoker. The society truly became the one we know today in 1954 following the admission of women and its subsequent appropriation of the Elizabethan society, which had served as the society’s female counterpart (The highest ranking female officer in the Phil still retains the honorary title of Auditrix of the Elizabethan society). Indeed, if one assiduously but illogically follows laws of correlative logic, it can be argued that it was this move which caused the moon landing, although it may also have led to the Korean war, so the jury is very much out on the women. The Phil since then has had its ups and downs, from the threat of a former president to resign if he couldn’t meet the US ambassador during the Vietnam war to its winning of the Bram Stoker Room on the top floor of the GMB from the Hist in a game of poker (apparently), but has always remained consistent in delivering impressive guests, hosting mind-opening debates and being a welcome, great craic place as the largest and best society on campus.

You’ll find us in Freshers Week in our permanent base in the GMB (also known as the Graduate’s Memorial Building, or home of the most conveniently placed yet underused toilets on campus) which we share with the Hist. In the basement you’ll find the bathrooms, where distinguished guests often find members filling up glasses of water from the sinks, which is really funny because it’s definitely not where we get the water for guests from, honestly. On the ground floor lies the heart of the society, the debating chamber, where we host our staple Thursday night debates and where some lucky Maiden speakers might speak in November in front of a rowdy crowd. This sits beside the Phil conversation room in which informal debates range from current affairs to the eternal question of which shop makes the best chicken fillet roll within ten minutes of Trinity. This is the room you’ll find yourself schmoozing at our weekly receptions and lounging on the couches during the day. The GMB is an odd building, like those American skyscrapers which are missing a 13th floor, in that there is no 1st floor and the stairs weirdly continue on up to the 2nd floor where you’ll find the Bram Stoker Room, as well as dirt-cheap pool and snooker rooms and a criminally underused computer room. Pop in the massive front door during Freshers Week and join up!

Hugh Guidera, RegistrarIntroducing the new Hugh 3.30! Built to look exactly like a normal person, you’d be forgiven for believing he was in fact HUGHman! The Hugh 3.30 is a bit like you and I, but he’s much better. Unfortunately, Hugh 3.30 is still in the production stages of mastering the ‘Casual Conversation’ function, and we the manufacturers would prefer it if when addressing Hugh 3.30, you prefaced anything you wished to say with “Point of information, Sir?”

Members of CouncilSenior Member of Council: Fionn McGorryFionn is the senior member of council, ensuring the smooth running of the day-to-day affairs of the society. He is also the admin of the ‘Jeremy Clarkson is not a racist’ Facebook group and will staunchly defend Clarko and the lads at any time against the loony left. “If anything, it’s YOU who’s the racist!”, Fionn will proudly shout at anyone who suggests Clarkson was wrong to use racial slurs.

Pro-Librarian: Aisling CrabbeAisling was class rep last year of TSM Jewish and Islamic studies and Ancient Civilisations, but don’t worry she’s still down to earth after all that high-flying and string-pulling. She’s just an ordinary gal who makes her own trousers one leg at a time like the rest of us, seriously. She applies that same creativity to her role of pro-librarian, advocating ‘touch-and-feel’ posters and the more controversial ‘scratch and sniff’ weekly emails.

Pro-Librarian: Teresa Basquel FahyTeresa is like a French philosopher from the 60s - all smoking and sharp sentences. “Ahh, to love *deep inhale of rollie* is but to die once more, no?” More accurately, she is the Mayo member of council, struggling to reconcile her Catholic roots with the satanic photoshopping duties required of her as pro-librarian: “If God wanted this poster to be in sepiatone, damnit he would have made the world in sepiatone.”

Pro-Secretary: Matthew NudingMatthew just loves DU Amnesty. “Isn’t there just such hurt in the world, babe? I actually found a great little contemporary art troupe that combats it”. The kind of guy who’d make a video taking a photo of himself everyday for a prolonged period to illustrate the transience of time or something (uploaded to vimeo, not youtube), or who’d make his copho a sunset over rooftops in Kolkata. “Want to come over to watch ‘Les Choristes’ later, babe? I’ll whip up some eggplant and parmesan tortini.”

Pro-Secretary: Eoin O’GormanEoin O’Gorman, or ‘Gormy’ as he prefers to be called, will be hated by all the freshers. Feel free to tell him that you all hate him. To make friends he pre-prepares questions in response to social cues, but you can screw him over by taking a photo of yourself and putting it on the wall in front of him, to which he will repeatedly ask ‘how are you’, confused as to why he’s not getting any response as his ‘Introduction to Friend-Making’ book told him.

Pro-Treasurer: Shannon Buckley BarnesDon’t let the double barreled name fool you. “So bad they named her twice” is what they used to say on the streets. Shannon’s the kind of girl who actually cheered when Cafe Nero announced a branch in Dalkey; tough as nails. M-A-R-Y is tattooed on the knuckles of her right hand, and W-A-R-D is the last thing many people see as her strong left fist fills their vision after a Loreto Past Pupils’ Union night out.

Pro-Debates Convenor: Stepan LavroukStepan never misses a chance to competitively debate, having in the last two years been kicked out of UCD junior schools debating competition, the Oxford Womens’ Open and, at his lowest ebb, out of Zaytoon’s for refusing to let go of Westmeath’s fullback until he admitted that Nato SHOULD unequivocally accept new members in east-European expansion.

Pro-Debates Convenor: Rachael O’ByrneWhen you enter the GMB in fresher’s week, Rachael will be there to greet you with a big smile. Seriously, this will be an enormous smile. This is not positive encouragement, this is a warning. People have become lost in that smile, and not in a romantic way; in a ‘literally fell into it’ way.

Pro-Debates Convenor: Conan QuinnConan is a legend. He will be leading the Freshers’ Week alternative Speed Dating which is the one that begins after the main speed dating and doesn’t involve any dating and he’s asleep and no one else is there. Conan looks like a rollie too, really tall and nimble and just a bit wrinkled like he was in your pocket with his muddledy-wuddledy hair.

Pro-Schools Convenor: Cian HenryCian’s really zonked from the bloody rat race back in his Mason Hayes & Curran internship over summer and would just like to be left alone to pop his feet up and maybe have a cold one, alright? He would like to get to know you over Freshers Week but it’s just that the TRP merger fell through there in August and the office got a bit hectic, and the boss is really breathing down his neck right now and, listen, he’s sorry to offload but could you seriously just give him a bit of space?

Pro-Schools Convenor: Sarah UptonSarah Upton has rebel blood coursing through her veins. She’s from Waterford (the rebel county) and loves Fanta Exotic (the rebel drink). She’ll proudly tell you that her grandad was the first man into the trenches on O’Connell Street in 1916 and the last one out, “teaching Billy-O-English a fine lesson or two begorrah” (Don’t question her on the historical accuracy of this claim as she is prone to violent outbursts).

Pro-Steward: Orla DelaneyOrla aggressively argues that she invented terms that were in fact popularised by Disney Channel comedies. “Oh my god, we should totally be frenemies”, she’ll say to you in Freshers Week. The safest thing to do is to smile and say “oh!” as she slowly explains the portmanteau. “We could be such a great bromance!”. Just smile and nod as she slightly continually mis-applies the terms.

Pro-Steward: Eimear GoreyEimear’s job is to make sure you have as much fun as possible in Freshers Week and throughout the year. It is also her job to cut cheese for the Thursday night reception every single week for a year. Cheddar is quite simple; you just treat it like stubborn butter and apply front-lean to the knife while slicing with a pulling motion. Brie is where it gets difficult, in that you want to avoid a crushing of the rind, almost like a camembert but with a slightly higher resistance mid-cut.

Classic burger & student fries

Add as many toppings or sauces as you want for 50c each

Add a bottomless soft drink for €1.50

Offer available Mon-Fri (Sept-June) Valid Irish student college ID required

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€6.50

exclusively for phil members: 20% off all

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