Personality Development and Public Relations 5Culture Values
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The Study of CultureWhat is Culture?
The word culture is derived from the Latin word culture which
means care, or cultus, meaning civilization. This is based on the
fact that the human person has a long period of dependency and has
to be taken care of by the people around him.
What is Culture?
The culture of the group to which an individual is born provides
him the needed care and attention as he grows into a mature person.
It is along this framework that the differences in the culture of
different places become evident as reflected in the care and
training provided to the individual.
The Study of Culture
When we meet someone from a different culture, that persons
culture becomes immediately evident to us. We notice his clothing,
mannerism, language, beliefs, taste for food and among others. The
characteristics which may contrast sharply with our own, alert us
to broad differences in the way the person was raised to that
persons culture.
The Study of CultureCulture consists of material things, such as
art, tools, weapons, dwelling units, utensils, machinery, clothing
and others. Culture also has non-material aspects, the general
beliefs and patterns of behavior common to a group of people. While
many anthropologists interested in material culture, sociologists
develop primary interests in non-material culture for it provides
broad framework within which people interpret life and the lens
through which they see the world and perceive reality.
Definitions of CultureEdward Taylor Culture refers to that
complex whole which includes knowledge, beliefs, art, morals, law,
customs and any other capabilities and habits acquired by man as a
member of society. Robert Redfield Culture an organized body of
conventional understandings manifest in art and artifacts which
persisting through tradition, characterizes a human group.
Definitions of Culture
Culture is a mans social heritage which has been transmitted
from one generation to another through language. It tells what man
does, and it tells man what to do, and how to do things. Culture
represents the design ore recipes for living, the interrelated
network of norms and roles. It encompasses mode of thinking,
feeling and acting commonly found in a society and include what man
has acquired as a member of that society.
TYPES OF CULTURE
Material Culture includes physical objects or artifacts- things
that human beings create by altering the natural environment. They
are easy to observe and often impressive. Examples dwelling units,
tools, weapons, clothing, stone axes, wooden chair and other
concrete elements of culture that can be perceived as important
part of product of any behavior system of man, past, present and
future.
TYPES OF CULTUREMaterial Culture refers to the concrete and
tangible things that man creates and uses. They range from the
prehistoric stone tools of the primitive man to the most advanced
computer of the modern man.
TYPES OF CULTURENon-Material Culture consist of words people
use, the habits they follow, the ideas, customs, behavior of any
society profess and to which they strive to conform. Laws,
techniques, lifestyle and knowledge are included. The non-material
aspect of culture is the meaning and substance inherent in
culture.
Components of CultureThings covered under the broad headings
material and non-material culture are the components of culture.1.
2.
3.4.
Norms Values Language Fashions, fads, crazes
1. Norms(Components of Culture)Often described as social norms.
These are guides or models of behavior which tell us what is proper
and which are appropriate or inappropriate, right or wrong. Norms
regulate peoples behavior in a given society. Norms are usually in
the form of rules, standards or prescriptions followed by people
who follow certain standards or roles.
Forms of Social NormsFolkways are customary patterns of everyday
life that specify what is socially correct and proper in everyday
life. Examples shaking of hands, bathing frequently and regularly,
keeping ones lawn cut and orderly, not drinking liquor in church
and others.
Mores In contrast to folkways, mores are seen as extremely
important and considered vital for the groups welfare and survival.
While folkways specify socially correct and proper behavior, mores
define what is morally right and morally wrong. They are folkways
with ethical and moral significance. They are social norms
associated with strong feelings of right and wrong.
Forms of Social NormsLaws they are norms that enforced formally
by a special political organization. These are components of
culture regulating or controlling the peoples behavior and conduct.
Enforcing agencies- police, courts, prisons and others.
2. Values(Components of Culture)Another important component of
culture are values. Unlike norms which constitute standards for
behavior, values represents the standards we use to evaluate the
desirability of things. Values define what is right, good and
moral. The values of a society shape its normative system and guide
the behavior of its people. By analyzing the norms of society,
one
Major Value Orientations of Many Societies Robin
WilliamsAchievement and success-many people emphasize personal
achievements specially occupational success. They admire the rags
to riches stories and value the self-made man. Activity and work
work is regarded not only as a means to success but as an end
itself. Some people place high value in work and dedication to
it.
Major Value Orientations of Many Societies Robin Williams
Moral orientation Many people see the world in terms of right
and wrong, good and bad. They tend to judge their conduct and that
of others against ethical principles. Humanitarianism- One ideal
for any person is material generosity. Some people believe in
helping others individually as well as collectively through
organized charities and philanthropies.
Major Value Orientations of Many Societies Robin
WilliamsEfficiency and practicality efficiency has become standard
by which some people judge their activity. Their emphasis on
efficiency is associated with the importance they place on
practicality and technology.
Filipino Values Jaime Bulatao
Emotional Closeness and Security in The Family The family is
seen as having a double function 1. It provides an outlet for the
need of a person to get out of himself and come out into contact
with another person in a free and unguarded emotional exchange. 2.
It provides understanding, acceptance, a place where, no matter how
far or how wrongly one has wandered, he can always return.
Filipino Values Jaime BulataoThe Authority Value This refers to
the approval by the authority figure and by societys surrogate. Due
to its past orientation, the Filipino family places high authority
on the elders(parents, older siblings or even grandparents). The
family tends to be authoritarian.
Filipino Values Jaime Bulatao
Economic and Social Betterment It appears most often as a desire
to raise the standard of living of ones family or of ones hometown,
often as a repayment for ones debt of gratitude(utang na loob) to
parents and relatives. Patience, Suffering and Endurance It appears
in stories when the frustrating force, whether poverty, injustice,
sickness or anything else is conceived as too powerful to be
overcome. It is in this value which has become fused with the
religious value since it seems that God is called upon when other
means fail. This value is associated more with women than with
men.
3. Language(Components ofCulture)
It refers to a system of symbols that have specific and
arbitrary meaning in a given society. It is symbolic communication
or language that sets human beings apart from other species. With
the use of language, we can go beyond just transmitting simple
feelings and emotions in the here and how. It enables us to talk
and think about the past and the future. Language makes it possible
for us to learn from others experiences and to accumulate knowledge
from one generation to the next. Through language we are able to
transmit our learning to others.
4. Fashions, Fads and CrazesThey are more short-lived social
norms with which people are expected to comply with. They may
operate as of social change. Examples new styles of clothes, bags,
shoes and hairdo. They may also include new styles of houses, cars,
appliances, shows and even music. Then prestige and status of a
person depends on his use of these styles.
Characteristics of Culture
Culture is learned and acquired. Culture may take the form of
habits, skills, values, and knowledge which constitutes ones
culture acquired during the course of ones life, not transmitted
genetically. Culture may be acquired through imitation,
conditioning, suggestion, formal or informal instruction or mass
media. Its acquisition follows a system of reward and punishment.
Culture is shared and transmitted. Culture is ideational. Culture
gratifies human needs. Culture is social. Culture is adaptive.
Culture tends toward integration. Culture is cumulative.
Functions of CultureA culture exists to systematize the
satisfaction of the social needs of people. The means for this
satisfaction are the various major and subsidiary institutions that
constitute the culture. The culture as a whole performs number of
functions distinct from the objectives of the various
institutions.
Two Major Uses of Culture
Culture as a Category- for the classification of phenomena.
Through classification which use categories, man is able to
segregate things that must occupy his priority.
Culture as a Tool in Prediction prediction of social behavior
depends upon understanding how the human organism will react to its
environment. Because culture is learned and internalized by all
individuals in a society, it is part of their usual subjective way
of responding to stimuli.
Modes of Acquiring Culture
1. Imitation the process of socialization plays a very important
role in the development of every individual. As the child grows, he
imitates the things around him: the language of the people around
him and his parents behavior. He also acquires the values he sees
in his family. He imitates even the undesirable traits from his
peer group. The process of imitation becomes possible because of
the examples set by the social environment and the individual
continually undergoes the process of imitation even in his adult
life.
Modes of Acquiring Culture2. Indoctrination This may take the
form of formal teaching or training which may take place anywhere
the individuals finds himself interacting with his fellow humans.
This formal teaching takes into account the cultural components of
the society where the learning individuals lives. 3. Conditioning
Through the social norms prevailing in ones social and cultural
milieu, the individual acquires a certain pattern of beliefs,
values, behavior and actions through the process of conditioning.
This process reinforced by a system of reward and punishments found
in the cultural system.
QUIZ
Illustrate the main differences between material and
non-material culture.Think of yourself going abroad. When you are
already in a foreign country, how will culture become adaptive?
PHILIPPINE VALUES
What are Values? The third millennium finds the country in a
flux of change and beset by multifarious problems political crisis,
economic crisis, poverty, environmental degradation, graft and
corruption, etc. To top it all is the imbroglio and breach between
President Gloria Arroyo and the opposition parties, constantly we
hear that some people, especially the politicians, have lost their
sense of values and gone are the days when politicians were real
statesmen.
PHILIPPINE VALUES
Archbishop Gaudencio Rosales, in the height of the political
crisis said that the cause of the nations problems was the erosion
of our values.We have lost our christian values of sacrifice and
discipline.
WHAT ARE VALUES?
According to Cario(1997:160) Values are moral or ethical
standards signifying what are intrinsically desirable. They are
different from the technical norms which refer to the norms through
which the desired state is reached. These values are societys moral
imperatives that deal with what ought to be, what is good or bad,
what is desirable or undesirable.
WHAT ARE VALUES?
They express the general goals and set broad guidelines for the
society. They are conveyed in stories, myths and fairy tales and
what our parents, teachers, priests and ministers and others tell
us what to do and to avoid.
They are the expectations of how we should present the self in
varied settings.
The Department of Education, Culture and Sports States that;A
thing has value when it is perceived as good and desirable. Food,
money and housing have value because they are perceived as good and
the desire to acquire them influences attitudes and behavior.
Not only material goods but also ideals and concepts are
valuable such as truth, honesty and justice. Example if truth is a
value for us, it commands in us an inner commitment which in turn
translates itself into our daily speech and action. Truth is good
and desirable, it influences attitudes and behavior.
What are Values?Values are the bases for determining what
behavior and attitudes are correct. They are emotion laden.
The members of a culture share a value such as religiosity or
honor because they feel that it is right.
Values indicate the social conscience of the people. The
cultures values are organized in a hierarchy or a set of
priorities.
The Basis for Philippine Value Orientations
The Filipino of the twenty-first century is a blend of various
social strains and cultural elements Aeta, Indonesian, Malaysian,
Hindu, Arabian, Chinese, Spanish, American and more recently, of
the global community.In short he/she is cosmopolitan in nature,
basically Oriental and a bit Occidental.
The Basis for Philippine Value Orientations
Filipinos have been exposed to conquest and war, to a wide
variety of experiences and cultural elements such as educational
exchange programs, cultural exchanges, socio-economic development
programs, mass media, multinational business and corporate
communities, increasing overseas employment and the balikbayan
program.
We endured twenty years under a dictatorship amd were liberated
through the EDSA Revolution. We celebrated on June 12, 1998, the
centenary of the Philippine Independence. On January 20, 2001,
President Joseph Estrada was forced to resign.
The Basis for Philippine Value Orientations
As we stand on the first decade of the twenty-first century, we
are confronted by a serious political crisis. There are efforts
being made to change the form of our government from presidential
to parliamentary. The political and economic structures have been
badly shaken. People in dismay cry out that we have lost our sense
of values. People also decry the erosion of our traditional family
and spiritual values. And so the schools, government, media and
socio-civic organizations have embarked on programs of moral
recovery and national renewal.
The Study of Values
Anthropologists and sociologists have been interested in the
study of values. They are not concerned with the evaluation or
endorsement of values as being inherently better or worse.
Sociologists are concerned about values as they are used by
individuals or groups as the standards by which they live and
define their goals, make decisions, judge social norms, beliefs,
material objects and persons as good or bad; rank these into
varying degrees of goodness or badness and relate these to a given
situations or events.
The Study of Values
Since values are abstract, they cannot be readily identified.
They can be deduced from social interaction or the behavior of
individuals or from a study of language, from what people do,
think, or feel one can derive meanings and study the motives for
certain actions.
The Family Traditional Values
The family is the central unit that defines a Filipinos set of
personal responsibilities and obligations and network of social
relations. The Filipinos are family centered for clannish. They
learn the value of maintaining a good interpersonal relationships
with their kin which is strengthened by reciprocal obligations. The
personalism and familism that permeates much of our social
relationships underlie the cultural themes or values.
SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE
Through observation of what Filipinos say and do, or do not say
and do, the choices they make or do not make, the actions they
reward or punish came out wit a set of values which become the
basis for comparison between Filipinos and Americans. Three basic
values were identified: 1. social acceptance 2. economic security
3. social mobility which motivate and control the behavior of
Filipinos.
SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE
The goal of social acceptance and the value of smooth
interpersonal relationships are generally in agreement with the
values ingrained in the family where the members are taught to
recognize or accept one another and maintain harmonious relations
within the family.
Social Acceptance is defined as being taken by ones fellowmen
for what one is or believes he/she is and treated in accordance
with his/her status, not rejected or improperly criticized. The
major concern is social approval and acceptance by the members of
the group so ones behavior is greatly dependent on what he/she
thinks others will think about, say, or do to him/her.
SOCIAL ACCEPTANCEIn the Philippines, social acceptance operates
within the closely knit nuclear family and its range of kinship
structures. In the social process, children learns to cultivate
goodwill and to avoid conflicts.
Early in childhood, they are taught not to quarrel with others
and to learn to get along with them and be considerate of them.
When one gets along well with others and is socially accepted by
them, he/she can reap future economic, social, political and
economic gains.
SOCIAL ACCEPTANCEJocano questioned the methodology of comparing
Americans and Filipinos. He averred that social acceptance is also
highly valued in the United States, but there is difference in the
framework for its operation.
In the Philippines social acceptance is within an interpersonal
framework, while in the United States it operates as institutional
framework. Americans strongly desire social acceptance, they strive
to be worthy members of a church, community fund drive or a
fraternity in order to be accepted by the other members of the
THE FAMILY
The family plays important role in the life of any nation. It is
the basic or most fundamental unit in any society. DEFINITION OF
FAMILY Sociologist and anthropologists define family as a group of
people who are united by ties of marriage, ancestry, or adoption
and who are reorganized by the community as constituting a single
household and as having responsibility for rearing children. United
States define family as two or more persons who are related to each
other by blood, marriage, or adoption and who live together. The
family may be viewed as a sub-system with interacting
personalities. The members interact with one another in their
reciprocal roles, supported by set of norms, attitudes and values
drawn mostly from the larger society.
THE FAMILY
The family may also be seen as an agency playing a vital role in
the development of ones personality and in the process of values
formation and development. It is an influential factor in the
determination of the social organization of the entire society.
Its is regulated by customs and laws and gives continuity to the
society as it does its reproductive function. It is a group that
first socializes the individual and provides for his basic social
needs.
Characteristics of the FamilyThe family as a social group is
universal and is a significant element in mans social life.
According to Murdock, the family exists because there is no other
social unit which can fulfill its vital functions in and for the
society. It is the first social group to which the individual is
exposed.
Family contact and relationships are repetitive and continuous.
They extend over a long period of time, often a lifetime. It is
said that the individuals earliest and longest experience in living
takes place in a family setting.
The family is a very close and intimate group. This is very true
to the Filipino and other Asian families, where family ties among
members are close. It is the most intense emotional experiences
during the lifetime of the individual birth, childhood, puberty,
adolescence, marriage and death. The family influence on
personality and character is significant and pervasive.
Characteristics of the Family
The family affects the individuals social values, dispositions
and outlook in life. The family is the source of individuals
ideals, aspirations, and basic motivations in life. The family has
the unique position of serving as a link between the individual and
the larger society. The family is also unique in providing
continuity of social life. It is the meeting ground of generations
not only in terms of biological traits but also socio-cultural
heritage.
Classification of the Family1. According to organization,
structure and membership. a. The nuclear family also known as the
primary or elementary family. It is composed of a husband and his
wife and their children in the union recognized by the society. Any
individual belongs to two kinds of families: Family of orientation
and family of procreation. The family of orientation is that into
which one is born and where one is reared and socialized. The
family of procreation- is established by the person through
marriage. b. The extended family this is composed of two or more
nuclear families related to each other economically and
socially.
Two Types of Families Derived from Classification
1. The conjugal family this considers the spouses and their
children as of prime importance and which has a fringe of
comparatively unimportant relatives. The marriage bond is important
and stressed.2. The consanguineal family this considers the nucleus
of blood relatives as more important than the spouses. The
relationships of the persons with the blood kin formed during
childhood are of prime importance.
Classification of the Family2. According to place of
residence-this classification includes patrilocal, matrilocal,
bilocal, neolocal and avunlocal. Patrilocal family requires that
the newly married couple live with the family of the bridegroom or
near the residence of the parents of the bridegroom. Matrilocal
family requires that the newly wed couple live with or near the
residence of the brides parents. Bilocal family provides the newly
wed couple the freedom to select where to reside, whether near the
grooms or brides parents.
Classification of the FamilyNeolocal family permits the newly
wed couple to reside independently of their parents. They can
decide on their own as far as their residence is concerned.
Avunlocal family prescribes that the newly wed couple resides with
or near the maternal uncle of the groom.
In the Philippines, the place of residence is influenced by the
close ties prevailing among family members, economic dependence of
children on their parents, ownership of property or parents
decision.
Classification of the Family3. According to descent the
relationship existing among family members may also be used as
basis in classifying the family. Families may patrilineal,
matrilineal or bilateral. Patrilineal affiliates a person with a
group of relatives related to him through his father. The child is
also related to his mothers kin but in terms of closeness, he turns
to his fathers kin. Matrilineal descent affiliates a person with a
group of kinsmen related to him through the mother. Bilateral
descent affiliates a person with a group of kinsmen related to him
through the mother.
Classification of the Family
4. According to authority families may be patriarchal,
matriarchal, equalitarian or matricentric. Patriarchal family is
one which authority is vested in the oldest male member, often the
father or grandfather or in the absence of parents, on the oldest
male member. This characterized by family solidarity and ancestor
worship. The double standard of morality exists. Matriarchal family
is one which authority is vested in the elder of the mothers kin.
This is rarely found in societies. However, many societies have the
mother dominating the household. Equalitarian family is one where
the husband and wife exercise a more or less equal amount of
authority. Matricentric family is one where the absence of the
father who may be working gives the mother a dominant position in
the family.
Classification of the Family
5. According to terms of marriage under this classification,
families may be either monogamy or polygamy. Monogamy permits the
man to have only one spouse at any time. Polygamy is plural
marriage. It assumes any of the following forms: polygyny,
polyandry and group marriage. Polygyny refers to the marriage of
one man to two or more women at a time. It involves a common
household, economic cooperation and sexual reproduction. Polyandry
is the marriage of one woman to two or more men at the same time.
This form of marriage is very rare. Group marriage refers to the
marriage of several men and several women at a time.
The Future of the Family in the Philippines
The Filipino family remains to be a strong and vital institution
in molding the character of the young members. Though there are
forms other than the nuclear family that may emerge in the future,
we believe that the young generation will still recognize its
importance.
But definitely we foresee a decrease in the size as younger
couples realize the value of having fewer children, not only
because of the economic costs but also because of the moral and
emotional investments involved.
The Future of the Family in the Philippines
Though we see the proliferation of agencies and services
available to assist working women burdened by housekeeping, working
women will continue to assume some of their traditional roles as
principal socializers to their children. Though some pessimists
foresee the dissolution of the family , this particular traditional
role of the women as mothers will remain. But more men will share
in the traditional roles of women as they begin to recognize that
their relationship with their housewives is egalitarian and
complementary. More men will begin to be supportive of the womens
right to pursue their careers after marriage.
The Future of the Family in the Philippines
Women who are career-oriented will put off marriage. The
proposal of the late Senator Rene Cayetano to lower the age of
marriage for women to 14 years and men to 16 years, will not
materialize as younger generations because of interest in education
and pursuit of career, will not marry early.
More and more men and women would want to have stable jobs
before marriage as they realize the responsibilities which
accompany the formation of a family.n effect, compared to the past,
more women will work outside the house after marriage and will
significant contributions to the family income. More and more
couples will have a variety of family experience during their
lifetime.
GENERAL ETIQUETTE AND PROTOCOL GUIDELINES
Meeting Etiquette
Initial greetings are formal and follow a set of protocol of
greeting the eldest or most important person first. A handshake
with a welcoming smile is the standard greeting. Close female
friends may hug and kiss when they meet. Use academic, professional
or honorific titles and the persons surname until you are invited
to use their first name, or even more frequently , their
nickname.
Guidelines for Living
The world is too much with us. While scientific and medical
advancements have made life easier over the years, the stresses and
strains that have come with population density, technological
advancements, all-pervasive news and entertainment media, and a
redefinition of the family have resulted in a whole new set of
challenges.
People behave no worse than they used to(rudeness and other
social offenses are nothing new) but the pressures of modern life
make it all more difficult to stay civil.
Guidelines for Living
Whats needed for this day and age is new guidelines for
courteous behavior especially in a time when it often seems that
anything goes. Its true that a more casual approach to dressing,
communicating and entertaining has taken hold, but thats hardly
something to be concerned about. The history of human inter-action
is one of change, and manners by their nature adapt to the times.
Todays guidelines help steer our behavior as we move through our
daily routines no matter what difficulties we face, how informal
the occasion or event, or which surprises are sprung. In fact it
can be said that we need manners more than ever to smooth the
way.
Guidelines for Living
Although todays manners are more situational, tailored to a
particular circumstances and the expectations of those around us,
they remain a combination of common sense, generosity of spirit,
and a few specific rules that help us inter-act thoughtfully.
Guidelines for Living
Respect Consideration Honesty
RespectRespecting other people means recognizing their value as
human beings regardless of their background, race, or creed. A
respectful person would also never treat a salesperson, a waiter,
or an office assistant as somehow inferior. Respect is demonstrated
in all your day-to-day relations refraining from demeaning others
for their ideas and opinions, refusing to laugh at sexist jokes,
putting prejudices aside, and staying open-minded.
RESPECTSelf-respect is just as important as respect for others.
A self-confident person isnt boastful or pushy but it secure with
herself in a way that inspires confidence in others. She values
herself regardless of her physical attributes or individual
talents, understanding that honor and character are what really
matter.
CONSIDERATION
Thoughtfulness and kindness are folded into consideration for
other people. Consideration also encapsulates the Golden Rule: Do
unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Being thoughtful means thinking about what you can do to put
people at ease.While kindness is more about acts.
Taken together, these qualities lead us to help a friend or
stranger in need, to bestow a token of appreciation, to offer
praise.
HONESTY
Has more to do, with ethics than etiquette, but the two are
intertwined. What could be more unmannerly than being deceptive?
Honesty ensures that we act sincerely and is also the basis of
tact: speaking and acting in ways that wont cause unnecessary
offense.
HONESTYA tactful person can say something honest about another
person without causing great embarrassment or pain. In other words,
tact calls for both empathy and benevolent honesty. I like the
other bathing suit on you better is honest, while That bathing suit
makes you look fat may be equally true but amounts to an
insult.
Two Other Essential Qualities
Graciousness Deference Graciousness is the ability to handle
situations with flexibility, while showing deference can be easy as
removing ones hat in a place of worship. The mark of a gracious
person is his ability to put people at ease and spare them any
embarrassment. (Youre being gracious when someone forgets your name
during an introduction and you say, Oh, please dont feel bad! Im
always drawing a blank when I try to remember names.) Its easy to
forget that gracious is the adjective form of grace which
dictionaries variously define as good will; favor; thoughtfulness
toward others and a sense of what is right and proper. By any
definition, grace is a quality anyone should strive to achieve.
Two Other Essential QualitiesDeference is primarily a means of
recognizing a persons experience and accomplishments. Courtesies
like standing when an older person enters a room, giving a senior
executive the head seat at a conference table, and addressing
authority figures by their titles and last names(unless they
specifically request otherwise) do not demean anyone. Far from it.
Deferring politely reflects well on the person who defers by
demonstrating that he values other people for their
achievements.
Four Things Etiquette Is Not
Misconceptions about etiquette and the need for it abound, which
makes it necessary to list four things that etiquette is most
certainly not:
A set of rigid rules. Something for the Wealthy or Wellborn. A
thing of the past. Snobbishness.
A Set of Rigid Rules
Manners change with the times and today are more flexible than
ever before.Etiquette isnt a set of prescriptions for properness
but merely a set of guidelines for doing things in ways that make
people feel comfortable.
Something for the Wealthy or Well-Born
Etiquette is a code of behavior for people from all walks of
life, every socio-economic group, and of all ages.No one is immune
to having his life enhanced by good manners.
A Thing of the Past
Sometimes it seems that yesterdays standards have gone out the
window, but todays more casual approach to things is something that
sits on the surface.The bedrock principles of etiquette remain as
solid as they ever were.
Snobbishness
Little violates the tenets of etiquette more than snobbery which
more often than not, is just another name for pretentiousness.A
person who looks down on others shows himself not as superior but
small the kind whos anything but respectful and considerate.
Actions Express AttitudePeople who really pay attention to
others have little trouble translating what they see and hear into
courteous behavior. Courteous people are empathetic able to relate
emotionally to the feelings of others. They listen closely to what
people say.
They observe what is going on around them and register what they
see. A self-centered person might say, I know exactly how you feel
to someone in a traumatic situation and then immediately start
describing his own experiences. An empathetic person is more likely
to say something like, I cant know how you feel right now, but I
can understand your grief(or anger or sadness). And if you want to
talk about it, Im here to listen.
Actions Express Attitude
This concerns for other leads to another characteristics of
courteous people. They are flexible willing to adjust their own
behavior to the needs and feelings of others. This doesnt mean that
well-mannered people are pushovers or lack strongly held
principles. But courtesy means understanding that nobody is
perfect. Courteous people arent so concerned about forms(using the
right fork or introducing people in the correct order) that they
would embarrass or denigrate others for simple breaches of
etiquette. Courteous people would never use another persons
mistakes as an excuse to react with callous words or cruel
acts.
Why Etiquette Matters?
Grounded as it is in timeless principles, etiquette enables us
to face whatever the future may bring with strength of character
and integrity. This ever-adaptive code of behavior also allows us
to be flexible enough to respect those whose beliefs and traditions
differ from our own.
Civility and courtesy (in essence, the outward expressions of
human decency) are the proverbial glue that holds society together
qualities that are more important than ever in todays complex and
changing world.
Greetings and Introductions
Its like chemical catalysts. They get things going. Its hard to
imagine daily life without friendly greetings and introductions to
bring people together in a spirit of goodwill. These courtesies are
observed in all societies, through the forms of differ. From the
most casual wave to the most formal presentation, greetings and
introductions are a basic to civilized interaction today as ever.
Every greeting and introduction is a chance to show your respect
for others and to create a favorable impression of yourself.
The Essentials of Greetings Others
A greeting is an acknowledgment of someone elses presence. For
most people greeting others is so ingrained that they hardly notice
doing it. Yet when people fail to greet someone they know, the
omission may cause hurt feelings and misunderstandings. If a
normally courteous person doesnt wave at her neighbor or say good
morning to co-workers, they may feel snubbed or think that the
person is behaving oddly. Such failures happen for a variety of
reasons- the person is preoccupied or distracted, shes late for an
engagement. She forgot her glasses and just doesnt see someone she
knows.
The Essentials of Greetings Others
It can usually be corrected with a warm greeting the next time
around.But such failures demonstrate the first essential of good
greeting manners: taking notice of other people.
Informal GreetingsIt can be spoken, gestured or both. These days
the classic spoken greetings in the United States are hello and hi
or hey in some regions, accompanied by the persons name if you know
it and said with a pleasant smile. Good morning, good afternoon and
good evening are still commonly heard, though they may be popular
in some regions than others. Children and teenagers have their own
greeting lingo, but they should be discouraged from using the
current slang with people outside their circle of friends.
Informal Greetings
Saying hello doesnt obligate you to stop and chat, so dont
hesitate to greet someone just because youre in a rush. If the
person wants to talk, explain your hurry( Hi Brenda. I wish I had
time to talk, but Im on my way to the dentists office) and part
graciously. Good manners often earn good treatment in return.
Sometimes a spoken greeting isnt possible, as when someone is too
far away to hear or when a greeting would disturb others. A smile
or a nod or wave will do in public places such as theater, concert
hall, or restaurant. But if any gestures is likely to indicate lack
of attention or to distract others ( as waving and nodding might
during a religious service, lecture, or live performance) its
polite to smile and save your greeting for later.
