Pathway to Happiness: A Wellness Tool Kit

You are good enough. You have worth and deserve love. If you don’t believe these fundamental truths,

let’s do something about it.

By Linda Bjork

©2018 Updated April 16, 2019

Photo by Annie Spratt (Unsplash)

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ForewordIlovemylife!IamhappyandIlikemyself.IfeellikeIbelongandthatIamloved.Ifeelusefulandsuccessful.Ifeelvaluedandappreciated.Mylifeisgood.Itisverygood.IfeelsoverydifferentthanIdidayearagoasIsatonmycouchsobbingwiththedesperatedesiretoceaseexisting.Iwantedtodisappearcompletely.Iwantedthepaintoend.Icouldn’tevenimaginefeelingloved,valued,orappreciated.Icouldn’timaginefeelinghappy.Ifelttrappedandpowerlesstodoanythingaboutit.Ifelthopeless.Ihatedmyself.Ihatedmyexistence.Itisinterestingthatnothingtangiblehaschangedoverthecourseofthepastyear.I’mmarriedtothesameperson,havethesamekids,liveinthesamehousewiththesameyard.I’mthesamedresssizewiththesameamountofmoneyinmybankaccountandthesameamountofsuccess.YetIamsodifferent.Whathaschanged?Notmycircumstances,theyarethesame.Theonlythingthatchangedwasme.Andthathasmadeallthedifference.Changetakesplacelittlebylittle,sothatyoumaynotevennoticethatthingsarechangingatalluntil you rememberwhat itwas like before. Today feels prettymuch like yesterday,whichseemedprettymuchlikethedaybefore,butwhenIcomparewhereIwasayearagotowhereIamtodayitisadifferenceasobviousasnightandday.Thenewdaydidn’tcomebyflippingonalightswitch,itprogressedgraduallylikeasunrise,butoh,whatagloriousday!Pleaseallowmetobeacompanionandguideonthepathtoyourowngloriousday. I’mnotpretendingthatIunderstandallyourproblemsandthatIknowalltheanswers;thatwouldbeabsurd.However,IamsuggestingthatitisactuallyyouwhohastheanswerstoyourparticularsituationandIcanhelpyoubeabletoaccessthoseanswers.Iinviteyoutoloveyourlife.Iinviteyoutolikeyourself.Iinviteyoutofeelloved,valuedandappreciated.Iinviteyoutobecomehappy.Iinviteyoutoresumecontroloveryourlife.Iknowfrompersonalexperiencethatitispossible.Iknowfrompersonalexperiencethatitisworththeeffortinvested.Comeonin,thewater’sfine.Respectfully,LindaBjork

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Youaregoodenough.Youhaveworthanddeservelove.Doyoubelieveit?When we’re empowered by the knowledge that we’re good enough, wonderful things canhappeninourlives.Asweretrainourmindstobelievethesefundamentaltruths,itcanhelpusreachourpotentialandempowerustofulfillourpersonalmission.Wealsobegintotapintoourownimmensepowertosolveproblemswhichsomephysiciansbelievethatisthesinglemosteffectivemeanstoresolvefeelingsofdepression[1].Consistentlyusingthesimpletoolsinthisbookcanhelpretrainyourmindtobelievethetruththatyouaregoodenough.CaveataboutthisWellnessToolKitTools,bythemselves,donothingbutperhapstakeupspaceandcollectdust.However,whentheyareutilized,theycanempowerapersontorepairandbuild.ThisWellnessToolKitgivessuggestionsformanyeffectivehealingtoolsandtheworksheetsencourageandsupportyoutoactuallyusethosetools.Itisinapplyingthetoolsthathealingtakesplace.Thisworkbookalsocontainsaseriesofself-evaluationstohelpyoumeasureyourprogress.Itworks.Itreallyworks.Butonlyifyoudoit.When learning to use a new tool, it is normal to be awkward, clumsy, uncomfortable, orfrustratingly ineffective; yet with continued practice, skills naturally increase andwith thoseimprovedskillstheresultsarebetterandprogresscomesfaster.Thisbookmaybereadfromfronttobackinthetraditionalreadingstyleor,ifyouprefer,youmaysimplyskiptotheendofthebookandperusethe“ToolsbyTopics”sectionandreadonlythosesectionsthatapplytowhatyouwantrightnow.Whatisitthatyouwanttobuildorimproveupon?Thereisalistofpossibletoolsthatmightbehelpfultohelpmeetaparticularobjective.Whatdoyouneedthemostrightnow?Whattoolwillbesthelpyouachieveit?Likeanytoolkit,thisbookletprobablycontainsitemsthatdon’tapplytoyoursituationandthat’sokay.Ifthereisatoolortechniquethatyoudon’tlikeordoesn’tfityourneeds,pleasefeelfreetoignoreitorevencrossoutthatpage.Nothingcontainedinthisbookisintendedtojudgeorcondemn any person for any reason, nor does it claim to have tools to solve everysituation. Different tools work for different people. Because the root causes of anxiety,depressionandothermentalandemotionalissuesvaryfrompersontoperson,itisnotsurprisingthatthereisn’tasinglesolution.Havinganopenmindenlargesthepossibilityoffindingtherightsetofsolutionsforyouoryourlovedone.

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PathwaytoHappinessisapatternofsimple,repeatedstepstopromoteprogressivehealingItissaidthatajourneyofathousandmilesbeginswithasinglestep.Thejourneyisnotagiantleapofathousandmilesinasinglestep,butmultiplesmallstepsrepeatedoverandoveragain.Likewise,thePathwaytoHappinessissmallsimplestepsrepeatedoverandoveragain.Itisajourneyofprogressivehealing.Thestepsare:Step1–selectanoverarchinggoalorobjectivetoworkonforthenext5weeks.Step2–chooseweeklySMARTgoalstoprogresstowardthelargergoal/objectiveStep3–breakSMARTgoaldownintodailySMARTactionstepsStep4–buildpositivehabitsbyestablishingamorningandeveningroutineStep5–returnandreporttoamentor/friend/accountabilitypartner/coachStep6–repeatsteps2-5eachweekfor5weeksStep7–evaluateprogressandsetanewgoalorobjectiveforthenext5weeksWe’llgiveanexampletoseehowthismightwork,buttherearemanyoptions.Step1-selectanoverarchinggoalorobjectivetoworkonforthenext5weeksJillisreadytobeginherownPathwaytoHappiness.Atthemoment,Jillcan’tthinkofaspecificgoal that she’d like to accomplishwithin the next 5weeks, but she realized from her initialevaluationtheshedoesn’tlikeherselfverymuch.Shedecidesthatshewantstolearntolikeherselfbetter.Fortheobjective,shewrites“Iwanttoimprovemyrelationshipwithmyself.”Step2–chooseweeklySMARTgoalstoprogresstowardalargergoal/objectiveJillwillselectatleastonespecificSMARTgoaltocompletethisweekthatwillhelphertoworktowards achieving her larger goal or objective. SMART stands for SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE,ATTAINABLE,REALISTIC,andTIMELY.TohelpherchooseaSMARTgoal,shenoticesthatthere’sa“ToolsbyTopics” list inbackof thiswellness toolkitandreadsthroughthetoolsunder theheading“Buildingself-esteem/improvingandstrengthening.”There’sanotherheadingthatsays“Overcomingnegativeself-talk/relationshipwithself”withanotherlistofsuggestedtools.Bothoftheseseemliketheymightbeusefulinlearningtolikeherself.Shereviewsthelistoftoolsunderthoseheadingsandselectsafewthatshelikes.Shereviewsthosesectionsinthebooktoremind her what they mean and how to do them. She kind of likes the idea of positiveaffirmationsanddeclarations;selftalk;2minutedistraction;successlists;calibrateyourbody;smiling-evenifyoudon’tfeellikeit;embracewhatyoulove;andserviceandcompassion.Those

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thingsseemlikesomethingshecoulddo,butshedoesn'twanttofeeloverwhelmedbydoingtoomanynewthingsatonce.JillchoosespositiveaffirmationsforherfirstSMARTgoal.Simplywriting“positiveaffirmations”forhergoalisn’tspecificenough.ShewillwritehergoalintheformofaSMARTgoal.ShewillmakeitSPECIFIC,MEASURABLE,ATTAINABLE,REALISTIC,andTIMELY.TomakeitSPECIFIC,shechoosestoselect5positiveaffirmations,print themoutandhangthemuponherbathroommirror.Bychoosingaspecificnumber,JillalsomadehergoalMEASURABLE,it’snotopenended,sheknowsexactlywhenshe’scompletedhergoal.Sincethegoalissmall,Jillknowsthathergoalis ATTAINABLE, it is something that she has control over, and she knows that her goal issomethingthatshecanREALISTICALLYcomplete.Andsinceshehasaspecifictimedeadlineofcompletingthisgoalduringthisweek,hergoalisalsoTIMELY.Step3-breakSMARTgoaldownintosmalldailySMARTactionstepsEachdayJillchoose1smallactionstepthatwillleadtowardherreachinghergoalofselecting5positiveaffirmations,printthemoutandhangthemuponherbathroommirror.Onday1heractionstepwastosimplyreadthroughthelistofaffirmationsinPathwaytoHappinessandthinkaboutthem.Day2heractionstepwastolookonlineandseeadditionalexamplesofpositiveaffirmations.Onday3,heractionstepwastocompilealistofaffirmationsthatshelikes.Onday4,heractionstepwastonarrowdownthatlistto5.Onday5heractionstepwastoprintacopy of them and tape them on her bathroommirror. Does that sound easy? Good. It’ssupposedtobe.Thedailyactionstepscanbesmall,maybetakingonlyafewsecondsorafewminutes(orlongerifyou’dlike),butitissomethingthatyouactuallycommittodoing.Step4–buildpositivehabitsbyestablishingamorningandeveningroutineInadditiontoworkingonaweeklySMARTsteppingstonegoal,thePathwaytoHappinessplanistobuildpositivehabitsbyestablishingamorningandeveningroutinethatyoudoatleast5daysaweek.Choosethingsthatwillhelpyouprogresstowardsyourgoal/objective.Theitemsonthemorningandeveningroutineneedtobesimplethingsthatyoucanalreadydo,butperhapsneedaremindertoactuallydothem.Thisisalsoanopportunitytogiveyourselfcreditforthegoodthingsyouarealreadydoing.Depending onwhere you’re at emotionally, just getting out of bed in themorning can be achallenge.Inourexample,we’llsaythatJillisinaroughspotandgettingoutofbedandgettingdressedandreadyforthedayareachallengeforher,butshe’sdoingit.Soforthefirsttwoitemsonhermorningroutineshechoosestogetoutofbed,andtogetdressedandreadyfortheday.Thoseareexcellentitemstoputonhermorningroutinelistandcelebratethosedailysuccesses.Forherthirditemshechoosestocalibrateherbodybystandingtallwithherchinup,smileon,

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shouldersback,handsrelaxedatherside,andfeetfacingforward.Shewillholdthatposefor60secondsthengoaboutherday.Morningroutinecomplete.Forhereveningroutine,Jillchoosestobrushherteeth,write2sentences(ormore)inherjournal,andtake5slow,deepbreathsbeforegoingtobed.Shefeelsconfidentthatshecandothesethingsconsistently.Onedayatatime–EachdayJilltriedtocompletethethreeitemsinhermorningroutine,thenchoseonesimpleactionstepthatwouldhelpherworktowardherSMARTgoalfortheweek,thenintheeveningshetriedtodothosethreeitemsinhereveningroutine.Shechosethingsthatwouldn’ttakealotoftimebecauseshedidn’twanttobeoverwhelmedwithalotofextraexpectations.Step5–returnandreporttoamentor/friend/accountabilitypartner/coachJillhadtalkedtoherfriendAmandaatthebeginningoftheweekandletherfriendknowthatshewasworkingonimprovingherself.JillaskedAmandaifshewouldhelpherbeaccountablebyallowinghertoreporttoherinaweekwhetherornotshehaddoneit.AmandawasdelightedtohelpherfriendandtheyagreedthatJillwouldtextAmandaat8:00onSundaynightwitheitherthemessage“Ididit”or“Ididn’tdoit,”buteitherway,shewouldsendatexttoAmandaonSundaynight.ThefollowingpageshowsacopyofJill’sfirstweeklyprogresschart.Whathappenednext-Eventhoughthisplanseemedeasyenough,Jillfoundthatinthedaytodayapplication,shedidn’tdoaperfectjob.Sometimessheforgot,sometimesshejustdidn’tfeellikeit,butshereallydidtrytodoitmostofthetime.Asshelookedatherchartattheendoftheweekshesawalotofcheckmarks,butshealsosawsomeemptyspaceswhereshedidn’tdoit.Inthepast,shemighthaveberatedherselfforthoseemptyspacesandgivenup,butasshemarkedthe“Measuringweeklysuccess”sectionatthebottomofthepage,shefoundthatalthoughshedidn’tfollowthroughperfectly,shereallydidhavesomesuccessesandshemadesomeprogress.Progress,notperfectionPleasenoticethatyoudon’tneedtobeperfect,justprogressing.It’snota“failure”ifyouforgettodothosethingsonyourmorningandeveningroutineacoupletimes.Norisita“failure”ifyoudon’treachaweeklySMARTgoal.It’sokay.Justkeeptryinganddoyourbest.

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Sample–Jill–Week1Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) I will improve my relationship with myself/like myself Related SMART goal for this week I will choose 5 positive affirmation statements and post them I will report to _Amanda__ on (day/time) Sunday 8PM Daily action steps to achieve goal Completed

Read through affirmation examples in Pathway to Happiness. X

Search online for examples of positive affirmations X

Compile a list of affirmations that I like and seem to apply to my situation X

Narrow list down to 5 X

Print off a copy and tape them on my bathroom mirror X

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Get out of bed X X X X X X X

Get dressed and ready for the day X X X X X X

Calibrate body (chin up, smile on, shoulders back, etc.) for 60 sec X X X X X

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Brush teeth X X X X X X X

Write 2 sentences (or more) in a journal X X X X X

Take 5 slow, deep breaths X X X X X

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal. X

I achieved my SMART goal for the week. X

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week. X

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week. X

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach X

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Step6-repeatsteps2-5eachweekfor5weeksJillwillfollowthesamepatternofchoosinganotherweeklySMARTgoaltoprogresstowardherobjectiveofimprovingherrelationshipwithherself.Tohelphergetideasforanewgoal,shegoesbacktothatlistshemadeearlierandlooksattheothertoolsthatmighthelpherinherobjective.Shechoosestoworkonherself-talk.Ifshejustwrites“workonself-talk”ashergoal,thereisgoingtobeaproblem.Chancesarethatshewillnoteliminateallnegativeself-talkwithinaweekandmightgetfrustratedandwanttogiveup.Itneedstobere-writtenasaSMARTgoalthathassomeaspectthatisachievablethisweek.Itneedstobewritteninawaythatleadstosuccess,notfailure.Shethinksofawayitmightbemeasurableandsuccessful.Shechoosestowritethegoalthisway:Iwillusetoolstocombatnegativeself-talkatleast5timesduringtheweek. Bywriting it inthiswayhergoal isnowSMART(SPECIFIC,MEASURABLE,ATTAINABLE,REALISTIC,andTIMELY).Fortheactionstepstoachievethatgoalshelistsvariousthingsshecantrytodistractherselfforatleast2minutestostopthecycleofruminatingnegativeself-talk.Shelistsoptionsofsingingasong,readingthroughthe“Iam”statementsinthebook,repeatingpositiveaffirmations,andcalibratingherbodybystandingupstraightwithchinheldhigh,smileon,shouldersback,handsrelaxedathersides,andfeet facingforwardandholdingthatposefor60seconds. She’ll trydifferentthingstoseewhatisthemosteffectiveforher.Ifsomethingdidn’twork,shecantryagainortryadifferenttacticnexttime.Hergoalwastotry.Evenifsheisn’tperfectateliminatingallnegativeself-talk,byreachinghergoal,shewasatleastabletowinthatbattle5timesduringtheweekandshecanbuildonthatsuccess.Jillalsochoosestoadjusthermorningandeveningroutine,sinceshenowhasanewtoolshecanuseeachday.Shehasalistof5positiveaffirmationstatementsbecauseshesuccessfullycreatedonelastweek.Shechoosestomodifyhermorningroutinebyreplacing“gettingoutofbed”withrepeatingherpositiveaffirmations3times.Shealsochoosestomodifyhereveningroutinebyreplacing“brushingteeth”withrepeatingherpositiveaffirmations3timesbeforebed.Therestofthemorningandeveningroutineitemsshekeepsthesame.Step7–evaluateprogressandsetanewgoalorobjectiveforthenext5weeksAftercontinuingthisprocessfor5weeks,Jilldoesaself-evaluationtomeasureherprogress.Sheisdelightedtonoticethatshehasmadesomeimprovement.Sheeitherselectsanewobjectiveorchoosestocontinueworkingonthesameone,orperhapsbynowshehasaspecificgoalinmindthatshe’dliketoaccomplishandshe’sreadytobeginthenext5-weekcycle.

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Choosingamentor/friend/accountabilitypartner/coachWorkingwithanotherpersonprovidesaccountabilityandgreatly improvesyour likelihoodofsuccess.Knowingthatyouwillbereturningandreportingtosomeoneataspecifictimeonaspecificdaycanincreasethechanceofsuccessfrom10%to95%.Enlistthehelpofaprofessionaloratrustedfriendasanaccountabilitypartnerormentor.Picksomeoneyoucantrusttoholdyoutoyourveryhigheststandard.Setadesignatedtimetoreturnandreporttoherorhim.Allowthismentororfriendtohelpyoumakeaplanofactionstepsandfollowupbyreturningandreportingtoyourmentororfriendonaregularbasis(dailyorweekly)throughtexting,email,phonecall,orvisit.

Anotetomentors:Thetimecommitmentforanaccountabilitycoachormentorisafewsecondsadayand/orafewminutesaweek.Amentordoesnotacceptresponsibilityforanotherperson’semotionalstateorfortheirdecisions.Amentorisnotapseudoprofessional.Anaccountabilitypartnerormentor’s job is simply toprovide regular accountability and followup. Amentorshouldnotask,“HowcanImakeyougetbetter?”or“HowcanIsolveyourproblems?”Amentorshouldask,“HowcanIsupportyouasyouworktowardsyourgoals?”

Anexample:Joechoosesanoverarchinggoalofdeclutteringandimprovingorganizationinhislife.Forhisweeklygoalhedecidestocleanoffthenightstandnexttohisbed.Forhismorningroutine,Joedecidedthathe’dliketomakehisbed,saypositiveaffirmationstatementsandgofor a walk each morning. Then in the evening before bed he wants to repeat his positiveaffirmationstatements,writedown5thingshe’sgratefulfor,andmeditatefor10minutes.Joehas a chart tomarkdownwhetheror nothe’s done these things, but he knows that havinganotherlayerofaccountabilitywillhelphimstayontrack.

JoehasafriendnamedMarkthathetrusts.JoeshareshisgoalswithMarkandasksifhe’swillingtohelphimbeaccountable.Joefeelslikeheneedssomedailysupporttohelphimdevelopnewhabits.TogethertheydecidethatthebestplanfortheirbusyschedulesisforJoetosendatextsaying“Ididit”toMarkeachnightat9PMtosayhecompletedhismorningandeveningroutinefor the day and that he spent at least 15 minutes working on his goal of cleaning off hisnightstand.Markrespondswithasimplethumbsuporcommentlike“goodjob,keepupthegoodwork.”BecauseMarkreallycaresaboutJoe,healsoofferstohelpJoeatthebeginningofeach5weekcycleasheassesseshisprogressandcreatesnewgoals.

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WhatifIdon’tknowwheretostart?Ifyoudon’tknowwheretostart,agoodplacetobeginiswithsomethingphysical.Eitheryourphysicalselforthephysicalworldaroundyou.Choosesomethingwhereyoucanseeorfeeladifferenceinashortamountoftime.Thegeneralobjectivemightbetodeclutter,ortogetbetterorganized, or to improve physical health. Review the section under the heading “Physicalwellbeing” or choose an area in your home, car or office to clean and organize. Start withsomethingsmalllikeanightstandtableorasingledrawer.AnotherwaytoselectthenextSMARTgoalistolookaroundyouforunfinishedprojects.Istheresomethingthatyoustarted,buthaven’tcompleted?Whenprojectsarebig,setanamountoftime towork on the project for theweekly goal rather than setting a goal to complete theproject.Forexample,“Iwillworkon_________foranhourthisweek.”Andbreakthegoaldownfurtherintoactionsteps.Ifthegoalistoworkontheprojectforanhour,youcouldcreate3actionstepslikethis,“Iwillworkon________for20minutes.”Keepitsimpleandachievable.Wewantprogressandsuccess.Iftheprojectisn’tfinishedinaweek,simplyrolloverthegoaltothenextweek.Aphysicalgoalmightbetogoforawalk3timesduringtheweekorlearna2minutetaichiformordrink8glassesofwatereachdayfor5daysduringtheweek.Alwaysmakesuretogiveyourselfwiggleroom.Don’tsetagoalthatrequiresmorethan5daysduringaweek.Wedon’twanttofeeloverwhelmedandwe’renotlookingforperfection;we’rejustlookingforprogress.Progressequalssuccess.Please remember to write the goals in a SMART format. Make it SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE,ATTAINABLE,REALISTIC,andTIMELY.TroubleshootingIfyou’renotsucceeding inyourgoals, it’sprobablybecausetheyareeithertoo largeor theyhaven’tbeen translated intoaSMART form. Shake itoffand tryagain. Withpractice itwillbecomeeasier.RememberthatSMARTgoalsareSPECIFIC,MEASURABLE,ATTAINABLE,REALISTIC,andTIMELY.Choose weekly SMART goals that can be reasonably completed within a week taking intoconsiderationallyourregulardailyactivitiesandobligations.Rememberthatselectingaspecific

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numberoftimesyouwilldosomethingorselectingaspecificamountoftime(orboth)helpsmakegoalsmoreattainable.Allowyourselfwiggleroom,don’tchoosesomethingthatyouhavetodoperfectlyeverydayinorder toachieveagoal. Ifyouchoosethenumberofdays/timesyouwilldosomething,5 isplenty.Ifyouremembertodoiteveryday,that’sabonus,but5successesinaweekisawesome.Manypeoplestrugglewithaconceptofduality:Ifit’snotperfectthenit’safailure.IfI’mnotperfect,thenI’mafailure.Itisonlyoneortheother,thereisnothinginbetween.Thattypeofthinkingleadstoalotoffrustration,becauseitexpectstheimpossible,andpracticallyguaranteesfailure.PathwaytoHappiness,isnotaboutsettingourselvesupforfailure,itisaboutrecognizing,creating, andbuilding upon success. We are not looking for perfection. We are looking forprogress.Writewhatyou“will”do,notwhatyou“won’tdo”A goal written in negative terms such as “I won’t use negative self-talk” is a recipe fordisappointment.Focusingonwhatwedon’twant,unfortunatelymakesusthinkmoreaboutitanddoitmore,ratherthanless.Writegoalsthatfocusonwhatyouwantratherthanwhatyoudon’twant.Abettergoalwouldbe“Iwill interruptthatself-talkbyrepeatingmyaffirmationstatements.”Ifyoudiditatleastonetimeduringtheday,markyourchartthatyoudidit.Togoalongwiththatgoal,itwouldbeagoodideatoincluderepeatingyourpositiveaffirmationsinyourmorningandeveningroutines.Themorepositiveself-talk,thebetter.KeepthingssimpleItemsinthemorningandeveningroutineshouldbeeasyforyoutoaccomplish.Youcaneveninclude things that you’re already doing and give yourself credit for the good things you’realreadydoing.Asyougaininconfidence,youcanupgradeyourchoicesformorningandeveningroutinetobesomethingnew,butstilleasytoachieve.Consistencyisakeytosuccess.Ifit’stoohard, takes toomuch time,oryoudon’t like it, youwon’twant todo it. Therearesomanyoptions,there’snoneedtodosomethingthatmakesyoumiserable.Choosethingsthatwillnotonlymakeyoubetter,butthatyoualsoenjoy.It’sprettysimple,butovertime,thisprocessbringsaboutmagicalinternalchanges.Let’sbeginlookingatsometoolswecanuse.

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Wellnesstool:Seekprofessionalhelp

Which ismore important,thebodyorthemind? Themindcontrolsthebodysosomemightarguethatthemindismoreimportant,yetwhenitcomestohealthissues,peoplearemorelikelytoseeadoctorforaphysicalailmentandtrytodealwithmentaloremotionalproblemsontheirown.Everyonefeelslowanddepressedeverynowandthen.Howthen,areyousupposedtoknowwhenyourdepressivesymptomshavereachedapointwhenprofessionalhelpwouldbeagoodidea?Here'sagoodruleofthumb:Ifyourdepressedmoodlastsformorethantwoweeks,orisseriouslyinterferingwithyourabilitytofunctionatwork,withyourfamily,yoursociallife,oryouarecontemplatingsuicide,itwouldbeaverygoodideaforyoutoconsultwithamentalhealthprofessionalassoonaspossibleandmakeanappointment.[2]Ifyouarefeelingacutelysuicidal,thereisnotimetowastewithappointments.Takeyourselfimmediately to your local hospital emergency roomand tell them there that you are feelingsuicidal,orcallthesuicidepreventionlifeline1-800-273-TALK(8255),orcall911.

Wellnesstool:WheretoFindHelp

Listedbelowareexamplesofthetypesofprofessionalsandinstitutionswhocanofferhelpfordepression.Theprofessionsandinstitutionslistedtowardsthetopofthislistwillbemoredirectlyabletohelpyou.Thoselistedatthebottomofthelistwillbeabletoprovideyouwithappropriatereferralstoothermentalhealthprofessionals.[3]

• Mentalhealthspecialists,including:o Psychiatristso ClinicalPsychologistso SocialWorkerso Licensedmentalhealthcounselors

• Yourfamilydoctor• YouremployerprovidedEmployeeAssistancePrograms(EAPs)• Nearbyuniversityormedicalschool-affiliatedmentalhealthclinics• Yourlocalhospital• Communitymentalhealthcenters• Clergy• YourHealthMaintenanceOrganizations(HMO)orHealthInsurancecompany

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Somepractitionersclassifydepressionintotwobroadtypes:

• Endogenous(orchemical)depressionwhichisthoughttoreflectsomekindof"chemicalimbalance"inthebrain.

• Exogenous(orexternal)depressionwhichisthoughttoarisefromanexternalcauselikeatraumaticlifeexperience,orstress.[4]

Seekaprofessionalwhohelpsyoudeterminetherootcauseofdepressivesymptoms.Certainmedicationsandmedicalconditionssuchasthyroiddisordercancausethesamesymptomsasdepression.Adoctorcanruleoutthesepossibilitiesbyconductingaphysicalexam,aninterview,andlabtests. Treatmentthataddressesrootcauses ismorelikelytobesuccessful longtermthantreatmentthatmerelyaddressessymptoms.[5]Inadditiontoseekingprofessionalhelp,usingthetoolsinthisbookletcanhelpwithexternallycauseddepressionbyrelievingsymptoms,boostingmood,helpingapersonfindtherootandaddressit,andregainingconfidenceandimprovedcontroloverhisorherlife.Itmayalsohelpthosewithdepressionthatisbasedinchemicalissues.ThroughMRIscans,wenowhaveproofthat changes in thinking cause significant, measurable changes in brain chemistry andfunctioning.[6]Wellnesstool:Medication

There’sasceneinthe1997movieAsGoodAsItGetsstarringJackNicholsonandHelenHunt,thatisanexcellentillustrationofthepurposeofmedication.

Melvin[JackNicholson]:I’vegotareallygreatcomplimentforyou,andit’strue.Carol[HelenHunt]:I’msoafraidyou’reabouttosaysomethingawful.Melvin:Don’tbepessimistic,it’snotyourstyle.Okay,hereIgo...I’vegotthis...ailment.My

doctor,ashrinkthatIusedtogotoallthetime,hesaysthatinfiftyorsixtypercentofthecases,apillreallyhelps…Ihatepills…Well,mycomplimenttoyouis…Istartedtakingthepills.

Carol:Idon’tquitegethowthat’sacomplimentforme.Melvin:Youmakemewanttobeabetterman.Thepurposeofmedicationistohelppeoplebetheirbestselves.Somepeoplestoptakingtheirprescribed medication for a variety of reasons and sometimes that results in disastrousconsequences.Depressioncandiminishaperson’sabilitytoreasonandthinkrationally.[7]

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Please don’tmake a decision to stop taking prescribedmedicationwithout getting a secondopinionfromadoctor,trustedfamilymember,orfriendwhocanhelpseethesituationclearlyandobjectively.Anti-depressantmedicationplaysacriticalroleinthetreatmentofdepression.Intherightpatient,anti-depressantsreducethesymptomsofsufferingexceptionallywellandcanbeliterallylife-saving.

It is important to understand that anti-depressants only treat the symptoms of depression,therefore they can't actually make anyone happy. Happiness isn't merely the absence ofsuffering.Manyexpertsfeelthatthebestapproachistotreatthesymptomsofdepressionwithanti-depressantsatthesametimeasaddressingtheunderlyingcauseofthedepressionitself.[8]

Wellnesstool:Makeachoicetodosomethingaboutit

Mostpeopledon’tchoosetoenterintotheworldofdepressionandanxiety, it isthrustuponthemagainsttheirwill.However,nooneisabletogetoutoftheworldofdepressionandanxietywithoutchoosingtodosomethingaboutit.

Thatdoesn’tmeanthatdepressionissomehowyourfault,itjustmeansthatitrequiresefforttoovercomeit.Whetherthateffortcomesintheformofseekingprofessionalhelp,consistentlytakingmedication,goingforawalk,ortryingavarietyofselfhelptechniques,doesn’tmatter,whatmattersisthatapersonhasadesiretohealandtakesstepstoaccomplishthatgoal.

Noneofthisisbyanymeanstosaywecansimplydecidetobelievewecansolveaparticularproblem. Changing any belief, whether consciously recognized or not, is literally one of thehardest things to do, but armed with clearer understanding we can consider steps to helpourselves.Some experts believe that the true cause of depression arises from a core belief thatwe’repowerlesstosolveourproblems.Apersoncancombatthatlimitingbeliefbytakingactionsteps(utilizing tools and techniques). This createspersonal accountabilitywhichhelpsempowerapersontopulloutofapitofdespair.[9]

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Wellnesstool:ReturnandreportDepressionoftendiminishesaperson’sbelief inhisorherabilitytosolveproblems,abilitytoplan,andability tohavehope for the future. In thisway thecauseofanydepressionalwaysreinforcesitself.[10]Thisconditionmakesitverydifficult,ifnotimpossible,foradepressedpersontoemergefromdepressionwithoutoutsidehelp.Enlistthehelpofaprofessional,trustedfriend,orfamilymemberasanaccountabilitypartnerormentor.Picksomeoneyoucantrusttoholdyoutoyourveryhigheststandard.Setadesignatedtimetoreturnandreporttoeachother.Allowthismentortohelpyoumakeaplanofactionstepsandfollowupbyreturningandreportingtoyourmentoronaregularbasis(dailyorweekly)throughtexting,email,phonecall,orvisit.

It’sthatsimpleandyetitmakesallthedifference.Whenweknowwehavetoreturnandreportwearemorelikelytofollowthrough.

TheAmericanSocietyof TrainingandDevelopment (ASTD)dida studyonaccountability andfoundthefollowingstatistics:

Theprobabilityofcompletingagoalif:

• Youhaveanideaoragoal:10%• Youconsciouslydecideyouwilldoit:25%• Youdecidewhenyouwilldoit:40%• Youplanhowyouwilldoit:50%• Youcommittosomeoneyouwilldoit:65%• You have a specific accountability appointmentwith a person you’ve committed

to:95%

The likelihood of getting new habits to stick, of following through on your assignments andreachinggoals is remarkablyhigherwhenyouseta time to reportback to someoneonyourprogress.Inotherwords,returnandreporttoapersonorgroupthatisawareofyourgoalorassignment.[11]

“Whenperformance ismeasured,performance improves.Whenperformance ismeasuredandreported,therateofimprovementaccelerates.”—ThomasS.Monson

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Anotetomentors:youarenotacceptingresponsibilityforanotherperson’semotionalstateorfor theirdecisions. Youarenot apseudoprofessionalor replacingaqualified counselor.Anaccountability partner ormentor’s job is simply to provide regular accountability and followup.Thetimecommitmentforamentorisafewsecondsadayand/orafewminutesaweek.The question a mentor should ask is not, “How can I fix you?” or “How can I make youbetter?”Thequestionforamentortoaskis,“HowcanIsupportyouasyouworktowardsyourgoals?”Thereisabigdifference.

Wellnesstool:UseagoalsettingappHavinganapponyourphonecanbeausefultooltohelpimprovethelikelihoodofsuccess.Iwouldpersonallyrecommendthattheappbeusedinadditiontoreturningandreportingtoanaccountability partner,mentor, or coach. Part of the challenge of depression and anxiety isfeelingsociallyoremotionallydisconnectedfromothers.Workingwithanotherpersonincreasesthechanceoffeelingconnectedanddecreasesfeelingsoflonelinessandisolation.[12]Thereareavarietyoffreegoalsettingappsavailable.Hereareafewpossibleresources:Stridesisapowerfulandeasytousegoalsettingapp.Youcansetupreminderssothatyouneverforgettomaintainthosedailyhabitsthatleadtobiggergoalachievement.Simplypickagoal(oruseasuggestedonegivenbytheapp),setatargetbyinputtingagoalvalueoracertaindateandthenspecifytheactionyouneedtodototurnitintoahabit.TheStridesappletsyoutrackitallbyday,week,month,yearorevenonarollingaverage.Allofyourdataissyncedtoyouraccountso youalways see your latest statswhether youaccess it from theweb, amobiledevice,oranywhereelse.Availableon:iOSWayofLife-Ifyoulovetolookatchartsandgraphsofyourprogress,thenWayofLifemaybetherightappforyou.Justpickagoalaction,telltheappwhethertheactionisgoodorbadforyou(likeeatinghealthy=goodwhereassmoking=bad)andthenyou'llgetadailyremindertoinputwhatyoudidordidn'tdointermsofyourgoals.Overtime,you'llhaveenoughdatatoshowyoubargraphs,piechartsandotherdetails.Availableon:iOS|AndroidGoalsOnTrack-GoalsOnTrackisaweb-basedandmobileappthathelpsusersdevelopandsticktogoalsbasedontheSMARTgoalsettingtrend(specific,measurable,attainable,realisticandtimely).Theapphelpsyoubreakupbiggoalsintosmallerchunkssothey'renotasoverwhelming,

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offeringuniqueanimationsandofflinetrackingsoyoucantrackhowlongyouspendontasks.There'salsoabuilt-injournalingfeaturethatgivesyoutheopportunitytogetspecificbywritingindetailaboutyourgoalsandprogress.Availableon:iOSCoach.me -Coach.meclaims tobe the leadinghabit trackingapp,evenofferingpersonalizedhabitcoachingandleadershipcoachingaspartofitsservicesinadditiontoitsfreemobileapp.Simplyselectagoal,trackyourprogress,earnrewardsforstickingwithitandtakeadvantageofthecommunityaspectbygettinginvolvedandaskingquestions.Ifyoureallyenduplovingit,youcanupgradetohiringarealcoachforaslittleas$15.Availableon:iOS|AndroidATracker-ATrackerisallaboutofferingyoumoreinsightsintohowyou'respendingyourtime.Forrepetitiveroutineslikegettingreadyinthemorning,commuting,answeringemail,studying,watchingTV,spendingtimeonlineandotherroutinetasks,ATrackercanhelpyoumanageitallsoyoudon'tgooverboardonthewrongthings.Onceyoustarttrackingyourtimeforallyourdailyhabits,you'llbeabletoseeanicebreakdownofitallinapiechart.Youcanalsogetabiggerpicturelookbylookingatyourbreakdownoverthepastweek,pastmonthorotherrange.Availableon:iOS|Android

Wellnesstool:Protectandbuildself-esteemWeknowfromdozensofstudiesthatwhenyourself-esteemislower,youaremorevulnerabletostressandtoanxiety;thatfailuresandrejectionshurtmore,andittakes longertorecoverfromthem.Sowhenyougetrejected,thefirstthingyoushouldbedoingismakingeffortstoreviveyourself-esteem.[13]Self-confidencedoesnothappenbyaccident.Ittakesefforttoachieve.Formanypeople,self-confidencemay appear to have come naturally to them, but it ismore likely that they hadconfidentrolemodelsintheirlifeandtheylearnedtheappropriateconfidencebuildingbehaviorsthroughwatchingandimitatingthemandtheyhabituallydothemnow.Bypracticingthesesameactions, you canbuild your own self-confidence. It comes from repeatedpractice and smallsuccesseswhichbuildintolargesuccesses.

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Wellnesstool:PresentyourselfwithconfidenceSelf-careandgroomingmakeadifferenceinhowyoufeelaboutyourself.Dressingwellgivesalittleconfidenceboostandencouragesotherstotakeyouseriously.Presentingyourselfwellisnotjustabouttheclothes,it’salsoaboutthepersoninside.Yourbodylanguagespeakslouderthanyourwords. Putyourchinup,shouldersback,standstraightwithyourhandsrelaxedatyoursides.Keepbothfeetpointingforwardandkeepweightevenonbothlegs.Thisshowsyouhaveafirm,solidfoundationandyou’renotapushover.Doingthesethingswillnotonlymakeyouappearmoreconfident,itactuallymakesyoufeelmoreconfident.Wellnesstool:SmileandlookpeopleintheeyeWhenyousmileandmakeeyecontact,itshowsconfidenceandenablesotherstofeelmoreateaseinyourpresence.Thisimprovesthequalityofyourinteractionswithothers.Smilingalsohelpsyoufeelhappierandimprovesyourmood.Wellnesstool:GivegenuinecomplimentstoothersWhenyoutakethetimetocomplimentothers,itdemonstratesthatyoufeelgoodenoughaboutyourself togivepositivefeedbacktoothers. Thecomplimentsshouldalwaysbegenuineandhonest.Falseflatterywillcomeacrossasfake.Startwiththepeoplewhoaremostimportanttoyouandmakeanoteofallthethingsyouadmireaboutthem.Trainyourselftoseethepositiveandfindwaystocomplimentthemonthosetraits.Wellnesstool:PracticeappreciationPracticeappreciationeachdayandyouwilleliminatenegativityfromyourlife.Whenyoutakethetimetoappreciatethegoodthingsinyourlife,youstarttofeelsomerealjoy.Tobehappierwithyourlifeandhavemoreself-confidence,youdon’talwayshavetoimproveyourlife.Youjustneedtostartseeingthegoodinyourlifeandstartappreciatingit.Wellnesstool:PlaytoyourstrengthsOftenwecompareotherpeople’sstrengthstoourweaknesses.Fredissomuchbetterat(fillinthe blank) than I am. That may be true, but there are certainly other things that you dowell.Knowyourstrengthsandplaytothem.Focusondoingwhateveryou’rebestat.Yourself-confidencewillreceiveaboostwitheachtaskthatyousuccessfullycomplete.Seekworkinanareawhichmakesthemostofyourstrengths,knowledgeandskillset.Wherepossibledelegate

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oroutsourcethetaskswhichdonotsuityourstrengths.Strengthsaren’tsomethingatwhichyouareperfect.Perfectionisneitherpossiblenornecessary.[14]Wellnesstool:AcceptyourimperfectionsSuccessful people focus on continuous improvement rather than perfection. Perfectionism isneitherapossibilitynoranecessity.Nobodyhaseverbeenperfectandnobodyeverwillbe.Thekeythingtorememberisthatoncesomethingisdone,itcanalwaysbeimproved.Thefeedbackloopallowsyoutocontinuouslyimproveanything-whetheritbeaskill,apersonaltrait,aproject,aproduct,etc.Ifyouwaitforperfectionbeforeyoutakeaction,youwillneverstart.Furthermore, in studies on relationships, it seems that peoplewho have the courage to beimperfect have more positive, fulfilling relationships. It turns out that we can’t practicecompassionwith other people ifwe can’t treat ourselves kindly. People have to be kind tothemselvesfirst.[15]Wellnesstool:BepreparedAs you practice, you realize that you are capable of dealing with challenges and your self-confidencegrows.Preparationisn’tjustforthebigthings.Itissomethingyoucandoeachday.Bybeingpreparedforeachday,thedaygoesbetter,andtheincrementalresultsadduptobigimprovementsovertime.Wellnesstool:SeteffectivegoalsandworktoachievethemWhenyourlifehasdirectionandpurpose,youknowwhereyou’regoingandwhatyouaretryingtoachieve.Youthensetgoalswhichwillhelpyoutoconsistentlyworktowardstheseobjectives.Withtheaccomplishmentofeachgoalyourself-confidencereceivesalittleboost,asyouseethatyoucanachievewhateveryouwantfromlife.Youdon’tneedperfectself-confidence.Youjustneedtohaveenoughself-confidencetotakeonyournextgoalandbelieveyoucanachieveit.Achievingyourgoalwillthentakeyourself-confidencetoanewlevel.Wellnesstool:EmbracewhateveritisyouloveConsiderthisquotefromtheAlchemistbyPauloCoelho,“Whenwelove,wealwaysstrivetobecomebetterthanweare.Whenwestrivetobecomebetterthanweare,everythingaroundusbecomesbettertoo.”Self-confidencenaturallyimproveswhenyoumakemoretimetofocus

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onthethingsyoulovebyeliminatingthosethingswhichaddnojoyorvaluetoyourlife.Oneofthemostimportantthingsthatyoucandoittomakeroomforthethingsthatyouloveinyourlife.Oftenwhenpeoplearestressedandpressedfortime,oneofthefirstthingsthattheycutaretheirfavoritehobbies.However,hobbiesthatyoulovefillyouwithpositivitywhichhelpstoboostyourhappinessandhealth.Italsomakesyoufeelmoreincontrolofyourlife,whichaddstoyourself-confidence. Takingthetimetodiscoverwhatyou loveandwhatmakesyoufeelhappyandblessed,isagreatwaytoidentifywhereyoushouldbespendingmoretimeinyourlife.It’sawaytocareforyourself.Caringforyourselfwillalwaysboostyourself-confidence.

Wellnesstool:AlwaysdoyourbestNomatterwhatkindofworkyoudo,youcanstrivetodoyourbestatit.Thisallowyoutofeelmoreconfidentaboutyourperformance.Alwaysdoingyourbestisacorevalue.Valuesensurethatyousetyourselfthehigheststandardstolivebyandyouholdyourselftothosestandards.Whenyoualwaysgiveyourbest,youalsobuildareputationwithfriends,family,colleaguesandcustomerswhichenablesyoutoreceivepositive,self-confidencebuildingfeedback.Wellnesstool:AcceptdisapprovalApprovalseekingisadisease.Itleadstoyousacrificeyourownneeds,wants,anddesirestowintheapprovalofothers.Nobodywhoisworthyofaplaceinyourlifewouldeverrequireyoutosacrificeyourownhappinesstopleasethem.Peoplewhoexpectthiswillstripyouofyourself-confidenceandtheyneedtobeshownthedoor.Nomatterwhatyoudoinlifeandhowwellyoudoit,therewillalwaysbepeoplewhodisapproveofyou.Inthemovie“TheGreatestShowman”CharityBarnumgivesthisadvice,“Youdon’tneedeveryonetoloveyou,justafewgoodpeople.”When you give up the need for approval, you’ll be free of feeling compelled to impresspeople.Instead,you’llbecomemoreauthenticandrealwithyourself.Provetoyourselfinsteadoftoothersthatyouarecompetentandconfidentandotherswillseeitanyway.[16]Wellnesstool:Self-talk

Whatwords do you use to describe yourself? I am (fill in the blank). Do you find yourselfrepeatingphraseslike:I’mafailure,I’manidiotorI’mtoofat?

Asyourepeatthosewordsandphrasesoverandover,yourbrainacceptsthosethingsastrueevenwhenthey’refalse.[17]

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Ifyouwanttofeelhappy,it’stimetoselectfromanewsetofadjectivestodescribeyourself.Hereisalisttohelpyougetstarted.

Iam__________.

Happy, joyful, confident, charismatic, optimistic, playful, creative, inspired, loving, loved,worthy,valued,appreciated,successful,compassionate,abundant,beautiful,radiant,prosperous,supported,humble, trusting, fearless, accepting, open, grateful, cherished, genuine, intuitive, articulate,redeemed, forgiven,clean, faithful, influential,generous,kind,capable,strong,healthy,energetic,wise,peaceful,safe,useful,trustworthy,blessed,loyal,experienced,helpful,skilled,organized,brave,brilliant, improving, accepting, forgiving, firm, undaunted, obedient, inquisitive, observant, eager,content, courageous, disciplined, imaginative, visionary, teachable, virtuous, supported, lovely,supportive, praiseworthy, secure, decisive, hopeful, willing, empathetic, progressing, active,intelligent,resilient,authentic,safe,divine.

Wellnesstool:Thepowerofrepetition

Somepeopleseemtohaveitall. Confidence,happiness,success, love,belonging,etc. Whileothersstrugglewithlowself-worthandloneliness.Studieshavebeendonetodeterminewhatmakesthedifference.Therewasonlyonevariablethatseparatedthepeoplewhohaveastrongsenseofloveandbelongingandthepeoplewhoreallystruggleforit.Personalbelief.Thepeoplewhohaveastrongsenseof loveandbelongingbelievethey’reworthyof loveandbelonging.That’sit.Theybelievethey’reworthy.[18]Somehow,wehavetoconvinceourmindsthatweareworthyofloveandbelonging.Weneedtoconvinceourmindsthatwecanbehappynow.Fortunately,therearetoolsthatcanhelpwiththat.

Repetition isapowerful tool tochangeourthinking. Cognitivescientistsdescribeaphenomenoncalledthe“mereexposureeffect,whichshowsthatpeoplefeelapreferenceforthingssimplybecausetheyarefamiliar.Itisinterestingbecauseithasnobasisinlogic.[19]

A parallel manifestation of the same psychological phenomenon that causes us to rate familiarstatementsasmorelikelytobetruethanunfamiliarones.[20]

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Thisiswhyitissodangerouswhenwerepeatoverandoverinourmindsthingslike:I’mnotgoodenough, I’m a failure, Nobody cares aboutme. Even though there is no basis in logic for thesestatements,webelievethemtobetruesimplybecausewerepeatthemtoourselvesoverandoveragain.

Thereisawaytocombatthesebeliefsusingthesameprincipleofrepetition.Bycreatingpositivestatements aboutourselves and repeating themover andover it can create anewhealthierpositivebeliefsystem.

Itwon’tbeeasyhowever,asDavidMcRaneyexplainsinhisacclaimedpsychologybook“YouAreNowLess Dumb: How to ConquerMobMentality, How to Buy Happiness, and All the OtherWays toOutsmartYourself“

“Once something is added to your collection of beliefs, you protect it from harm. You do thisinstinctively and unconsciously when confronted with attitude-inconsistent information. Just asconfirmationbias shields youwhen youactively seek information, thebackfire effect defends youwhenthe informationseeksyou,whenitblindsidesyou.Comingorgoing,yousticktoyourbeliefsinsteadofquestioningthem.Whensomeonetriestocorrectyou,triestodiluteyourmisconceptions,itbackfiresandstrengthensthosemisconceptionsinstead.Overtime,thebackfireeffectmakesyoulessskepticalofthosethingsthatallowyoutocontinueseeingyourbeliefsandattitudesastrueandproper.”[21]

Inotherwords,ourbrainsfighttoprotecttheinformationthatwealreadybelievetobetrue. If IalreadybelievethatI’mstupidandworthlessandthereisanyinformationthatcontradictsthatbelief,Iwillautomaticallyrejectittoprotectwhatmybrainalreadybelievestobe“true.”

Itwillbeanuphillbattle toovercome those intact,but incorrect,beliefs. If I giveahalfheartedattempttoovercomethoseoldbeliefsbydoingoccasionalpositiveaffirmationsanddeclarations,itwillactuallybackfireandmakemyoriginalbeliefsstronger.Inordertowinthiswarofbeliefs,Ineedtoberelentlessandconsistent.Don’tstartunlessyou’rewillingtofinish.Don’tstartunlessyou’rewillingtocommit.Don’tstartunlessyouwanttobehappy.Don’tstartunlessyouwanttofeellovedandappreciated.Don’tstartunlessyouwanttofeelconfidentandsuccessful.

However, if you do want to feel worthy of love, belonging, happiness, confidence, success, etc.repetitionisthemeanstoretrainourbrainsandacceptthosethingsastrue.[22]

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Wellnesstool:Positiveaffirmationsanddeclarations

“Asamanthinketh,soishe…”Proverbs23:7

MindistheMasterpowerthatmouldsandmakes,AndManisMind,andevermorehetakesThetoolofThought,and,shapingwhathewills,Bringsforthathousandjoys,athousandills:—Hethinksinsecret,anditcomestopass:Environmentisbuthislooking-glass.

AsaManThinkethbyJamesAllen,publishedin1903Whenwebelieve,"I'menough"...thenwestopscreamingandstartlistening,we'rekinderandgentlertothepeoplearoundus,andwe'rekinderandgentlertoourselves.[23]

Positiveaffirmationscanbeusedtoreprogramyourthoughtpatternsandchangethewayyouthinkand feel about things. Declarations are things that you declare to be true. Iwill use the termssynonymously.Theyworkthroughthepowerofrepetitiontoretrainthebraintoacceptnewbeliefsandnewbeliefsactuallycreatechange.Theycanhelpusfeellikewearegoodenough.ThereisacommonbeliefthatwhenthingschangethenIwillbehappy,butthereverseisactuallytrue.Whenwearehappy,thenthingschange.

Positiveaffirmationsordeclarationsfitin3basiccategories:1.)WhatIthinkaboutmyself,2.)WhatIthinkaboutothers,and3.)WhatIthinkotherpeoplethinkaboutme.Althoughwecan’tactuallycontrolwhatotherpeoplethinkaboutus,wedohavecontrolaboutwhatwethinktheythinkaboutus.Interestingly,weactuallysendoutmessagestothepeoplearoundusthroughourbodylanguagethatinstructotherpeopleonhowweexpecttobetreated.Usuallypeoplerespondtothosemessagesandtreatusaccordingtoourexpectations.Asyouselectyourpositiveaffirmationsordeclarations,remembertoincludestatementsfromallthreecategories.

Remember that initially your subconsciousmind is going to try to reject these things as false. Itdoesn’tmeanthey’reactuallyfalse,itsimplymeansthatyourthey’reunfamiliarandthatwillchangeovertimewithrepetition.[24]

Somepossibleaffirmationsare:

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Category1-ThingsIthinkaboutmyself• Ilikemyself.Iamenough.• Iamworthyofbeingloved,valuedandappreciated.• Iamlearningandprogressingeveryday.• Iambrimmingwithenergyandoverflowingwithjoy.• Iamconfidentandcharismatic.• Iamagenerousgiverandanexcellentreceiver.• Ichoosetoliveeachdayjoyfullyandgratefully.• Iamsafe.Iampowerful.

Category2–ThingsIthinkaboutotherpeople• Iseethegoodandpositiveinotherpeople.• Iassumethatotherpeoplehavegoodintentions.• Itrustmyfamilymembersandfriendstobeabletomaketheirowndecisions.• Itrustthatotherpeoplecansolvetheirownproblems.• Itrustthatotherpeoplecanchangeoftheirownfreewillandchoice.

Category3–ThingsIthinkotherpeoplethinkaboutme• Iamloved,valuedandappreciatedbyotherpeople.• Otherpeopleseethegoodinme.• Otherpeoplelikemeandwanttobemyfriends.

Therearemanyadditionalexamplesavailableonline,oryoucanwriteyourown.Chooseatleast5andwritethemdown.Repeatthemeach3timeseachmorningandeachnight.

Wellnesstool:Visualizehappiness

“Everythingyoucanimagineisreal.”-PabloPicasso

It’s possible for a person struggling with depression to not remember what happiness,confidence,hopeandjoyfeltlike.Heorshecannotevenimaginewhatitwouldbeliketobehappyorfulfilled.Howcanapersoncreatesomethingifyoucan’tevenimagineit?

Rate your life on a scale from1 to 10. Whatwould life be like as a 10? Whatdoes it looklike?Whatdoesitfeellike?Howdopeopletreatyou?Howdoyoutreatothers?Whatareyourrelationshipslike?Visualizeyourselfinthatplace.

Visualizingisapowerfultoolbecausebyhelpingusimaginewhatwewant,beincreaseourabilitytocreateit.[25]

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Wellnesstool:Successlists

Confidencebuildsonsuccesses.Typically,wedon’tgiveourselvescreditforthegoodthingswedo.Wefocusonourshortcomings.Ifweaskourselves,“whatiswrongwithme?”ourbrainswillaccommodateourrequestandbeginsearchingforevidenceofwhatiswrongwithus.Ontheotherhand,ifwesay,“WhatdidIdorighttoday?”thenourbrainwillsearchforgoodthings.

Thisisparticularlyimportantbeforegoingtosleepatnight.Researchshowsthatourbrainsaresurprisinglyactiveduringsleepandoftengooverthelastthoughtsoftheday.[26]

Ifthelastthoughtofthedayis“Whatiswrongwithme?”orthelonglistofthingsthatwedidn’tgetdoneduringtheday,thenyourmindgoesoverthosethingsduringthenightanditreducesthequalityofyoursleepandbeginsthenewdaywithdiscouragement.Butifthelastthoughtofthedayisthepositiveaccomplishmentsofthedaythenthosethoughtscanrunthroughyourmindduringthenightandactuallybuildconfidencelevelswhileyousleep.

Keepajournalnearyourbedandmakeahabitofwritingdownatleasttwosuccessesfromtheday’saccomplishments.Itmaybedifficultatfirsttothinkofpositivethings,butwithpracticeitwillbecomeeasier.

Wellnesstool:GettingtotherootoftheproblemSomethingsthatcausestresswehavelittleornocontrolover,otherthingswedohavecontrolover.Forexample,ifdebtandmoneyissuesarecausingstress,deepbreathinganddoingyogamayhelpshortterm,butorganizingfinances,gettingprofessionaldebtreliefassistance,reducingspending, and paying off debts, and following the Dave Ramsey program are answers thataddresstherootoftheproblemandcreatelastingsolutions.

Wellnesstool:UsejournalingtoIdentifytheproblem

It'samazinghowoftenyoudon'tknowwhyyou'redepressedandhowhelpfulitcanbetofigureitout.Makingalistofeverythingthat'sbotheringyou—asortofstream-of-consciousnessrantonpaper—canbeahelpfulexercise.[27]

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Write out the things that are bothering you. Begin with the phrase “I feel overwhelmedbecause…“,or“Ifeelworriedbecause…”or“Ifeellikeafailurebecause…”andwriteeverythingthatcomestomind.Lettheworriesflowontothepage.Whenyoucan’tthinkofanythingelsetowrite,stop,takeadeepbreathandwaitforaminute.Seeifanythingelsecomestomindandif it does, write that aswell. Repeat as needed. Afterwards readwhat you’vewritten andmentallydividethecontentintotwocategories:rantandrelease,andclarity/insight/solutions.Journalingmakesyoumoreaware.Ithelpsyougettoknowyourselfbetter.[28]Asyouwrite,hopefullyinsightwillincreaseasyouclarifyyourproblems.Aretheresolutionstoaddress those problems? Is there someone who can help? Re-write an outline of theclarity/insight/solutionsthatcameupinyourwriting.Thisiswaytotapintoourimmensepowertosolveproblems.[29]Journalingletsyoutakecontrol.Whenwewritethingsdown,theyfeelmoremanageable,ithelpsyoutakeanactiveroleinyourtreatment.Itempowersyoutodosomethingtohelpyourselffeelbetter.Italsohelpsyourecognizewhenyoufeelworseandneedextrahelp.[30]Wellnesstool:WrittenrantandreleaseThemajorityofstream-of-consciouswritingwillmostlikelyfallunderthecategoryofrantandrelease.Rantingonpaperallowsyoutoreleasepentupfeelingsinahealthyandappropriatewayandprovidesrelief.Youmaydiscoveryou'reworriedaboutsomethingyoudidn'tknowwasupsettingyouuntilyouwrote it down. Thoughts can trigger feelings that remain stirred up long after the thoughtsthemselveshavebeenforgotten.Somestudieshavesuggestedpeoplethinkupwardsof12,000thoughtsperday.Howcouldweeverrememberthemall?Yetafleetingthoughtwemighthavehadthismorningaboutthepossibilityoflosingourjobcanandoftendoesleaveanemotionalresiduethatlastshours,days,weeks,orevenlonger.Someexpertsarguethatdepressionisoftenlikelycausedbyathoughtthatsimplyisn'tremembered.[31]Justlikeasliverinyourfingerwon’thealuntilthesliverisfoundandremoved,pentupfeelingscan’t heal until they are removed. If they stay inside, they just fester and cause emotionalinfection.Thisanalogygoesfurther.Theoffendingsliverisremovedanddiscardedwhilethewoundneedstobewashed,disinfected,andprotectedtoallowhealing.Ontheotherhand,ifapersonshovesthesliverbackintothefingerorpicksthescabconstantly,itenlargesthewound,causesinfection

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andmakesitmoredifficulttoheal.Likewise,asstream-of-consciouswritingbringsupthingsthatarebotheringyouandperhapsremindyouofthingsthatyou’veforgotten,youhaveachoicebeforeyou.Doyouwanttohealorpickthescab?Ifyoudesirehealing,tearupthosethingsandthrowthemaway.Symbolicallyreleasingthemfromyourlife.Ifyouwanttoacceleratehealing,creategratitudejournalsandaffirmationjournals.Depressiontendstobringupnegativefeelings,sowritingabouthappymemoriescanhelpretrainyourbraintoreturntoahappyplace.Itcanshiftyourviewpointinpositiveways.[32]Wellnesstool:Onestepatatime

Sometimeswebecomedepressednotbecausewehaveoneproblemwebelievewecan'tsolvebutbecausewehavemultipleproblemswebelievewecan'tsolve.Handlingchallengescanbelikenedtobalancinga"plate"ofacertainsize:ifwepiletoomanyproblemsontoit,notonlydowe risk having it topple over, we often find ourselveswanting to pitch the whole thing onpurpose.When this is the case, allowyourself toonlyworryaboutand focuson solvingoneproblematatime.[33]

Wellnesstool:Battlethecycleofnegativethinkingwitha2-minutedistraction

With our physical health, one of the worst problems you can face is an autoimmunedisease.Autoimmunediseasesarethosewherethebodyattacksitsowntissues.Yourbodybecomesitsownenemyandyouhavetointervenetoprotectyourselffromyourself.

Likewise, with our emotional health, we often have to intervene to protect ourselves fromourselves.Wethinkwe’renotgoodenough.Wethinknegativethoughtsaboutourselves.Justlikean autoimmune disease, these emotional self attacks destroy our self esteem. When you're inemotionalpain,don’tbeatyourselfup.Treatyourselfwiththesamecompassionyouwouldexpectfromatrulygoodfriend.Whenthoughtsgothroughyourhead,think“WouldIsaythesethingstomybestfriend?”Iftheanswerisno.Stop.

Oneofunhealthiestandmostcommonformsofnegativethinkingiscalledrumination.Toruminatemeanstochewover.It'swhenyourbossyellsatyouoryoumakeanembarrassingmistake,oryouhave big fight with a friend and you just can't stop replaying the scene in your head for days,sometimesforweeksonend.

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Spending so much time focused on upsetting and negative thoughts, actually puts you atsignificant risk for developing clinical depression, alcoholism, eating disorders, and evencardiovasculardisease.[34]

Theproblemis,theurgetoruminatecanfeelreallystrong,soit'sadifficulthabittostop.Buttherearewaystocombatthaturge.Studiestellusthatevenatwo-minutedistractionissufficienttobreaktheurgetoruminateinthatmoment.[35]

If your thoughts are swirling indespair, takeaction tobreak freeof themandattain a freshperspective.Becomeimmersedinagreatbookthatmovesyouorwatchamoviethattransportsyou.Exercise.Goforawalk.Inshort,dowhatyouknowfromexperiencebouncesyourthinkingtoamoreoptimisticplace.[36]

Ifyoucansucceedinchangingyourmentalchannelforatleasttwominutesyouhaveachanceofbreakingthatdestructivecycleofrumination. Bybattlingnegativethinking,youwon't justhealyourpsychologicalwounds,youwillbuildemotionalresilience,andyouwillthrive.[37]

Wellnesstool:Laughter

Whenlookingforanexcellentdistraction,laughterreallyisthebestmedicine.Laughterstopsdistressingemotions. Ithelpsyoushiftperspective,allowingyou to seesituations inamorerealistic,lessthreateninglight.

Laughtermakesyoufeelgood.Ittriggersthereleaseofendorphins,thebody’snaturalfeel-goodchemicals.Andthegoodfeelingthatyougetwhenyoulaughremainswithyouevenafterthelaughter subsides. Humor helps you keep a positive, optimistic outlook through difficultsituations,disappointments, and loss. It adds joyand zest to life,easesanxietyand tension,relievesstress,improvesmood,andstrengthensresilience.

Humor also has physical benefits. It boosts the immune system and decreases stresshormones.NormanCousins,authorofthebook“AnatomyofanIllness,”becameknownasthemanwhocuredhimselffromalifethreateningdiseasethroughlaughter.

Laughterlightensyourburdens,inspireshopes,connectsyoutoothers,andkeepsyougrounded,focused,andalert.Laughterisapowerfulantidotetostress,pain,andconflict.Ithelpstoreleaseangerandbemoreforgiving.Nothingworksfasterormoredependablytobringyourmindandbodybackintobalancethanagoodlaugh.[38]

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Wellnesstool:Creatingavirtualshield

Itwouldbedifficultenoughifweonlyhadtoprotectourselfesteemfromselfattack,butwealsohavetodealwithotherpeople.Wecan’tcontrolwhatotherpeoplesayorthinkaboutus,butthatisn’tactuallytheproblem.Theproblemishowweinterpretandinternalizewhatisgoingonaroundus.RememberEleanorRoosevelt’sfamousquote,“Noonecanmakeyoufeelinferiorwithoutyourconsent.”Onetoolavailabletohelpusfilterwhatweinternalizeisusingvisualizationtocreateavirtualshield. Shielding basically means visualizing, intending and feeling that you are completelysurroundedinanorb,blanket,shield,orcocoonofDivinelight.Imaginewhatitlookslike,whatcoloritis,howitfeelsinsideandanyotherspecificdetailsyoucanthinkof.Imaginethatnegativecomments aredeflectedby the shield. Theydon’t even reach youand they can’t get insideyou.Youallowthemtobounceoffintospacewheretheyareharmless.Choosetoallowpositivecommentstoflowthroughtheshield.Theshieldisafilter,notawall.Mental creation with intention is a powerful thing. We can invent, create, experience anddestroythingswiththoughtsalone.[39]If you’re feelingemotionally vulnerable,make it ahabit to createa shieldeachmorningandeveningaspartofyourdailyroutinejustlikebrushingyourteeth.Ifyoufindyourselfstressedout,emotional,orthreatenedreapplyyourshield.Wellnesstool:BuildingresilienceWealsohavetobeabletobouncebackfromfailureandrejection.Theonlywaytocompletelyprotectourselvesfromfailureandrejectionistodonothing.Trynothing.ConsiderthefollowingquotefromTheAlchemistbyPauloCoelo,“Thereisonlyonethingthatmakesadreamimpossibletoachieve:thefearoffailure.”Doingandtryingrequirecourage,andbouncingbackfromfailureandrejectionrequiresresilience.Again,quotingfromTheAlchemist,“Thesecretoflife,though,istofallseventimesandtogetupeighttimes.”There'sanothergreatquotebyTheodoreRooseveltthatmanyofpeoplerefertoasthe"ManintheArena"quote.Itgoeslikethis:"Itisnotthecriticwhocounts.Itisnotthemanwhositsandpointsouthowthedoerofdeedscouldhavedonethingsbetterandhowhefallsandstumbles.Thecreditgoestothemaninthearenawhosefaceismarredwithdustandbloodandsweat.But

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whenhe'sinthearena,atbest,hewins,andatworst,heloses,butwhenhefails,whenheloses,hedoessodaringgreatly."Areyouawareofhowyourmindreactstofailure?Youneedtobe.Becauseifyourmindtriestoconvinceyouyou'reincapableofsomething,you’llprobablybelieveit.Itmightbeverynaturalto feel demoralized and defeated after you fail, but you cannot allow yourself to becomeconvincedyoucan'tsucceed.Youhavetofightfeelingsofhelplessness.Youhavetogaincontroloverthesituation.Youhavetobreakthiskindofnegativecyclebeforeitbegins.[40]Thefirst lineofdefense is tobuildandnourishselfesteem. Rememberthatwhenyourself-esteemislower,failuresandrejectionshurtmore,andittakeslongertorecoverfromthem.Sowhenyougetrejected,thefirstthingyoushouldbedoingismakingeffortstoreviveyourself-esteem.[41]

Thenextstepistonotbeatuponyourself.Treatyourselfwiththecompassionofabestfriend.Thenextstepistostopgoingoveritinyourmind.Distractyourselfwithsomethingyouenjoyforatleast2minutes.Stopthecycleofrumination.

Herearesomeadditionalwaystoprotectyourselfandbounceback:

Wellnesstool:Validateyourexperience

Validateyourexperience,byadmittingthatsomethinghappenedandthatithadaneffectonyou.Youcanexpressthiseitherquietlyinsideorsayitoutloudtoyourselforatrustedfriend.So,takeabreath—adeepbellybreath—andacknowledgethatsomethingjusthappenedtoyouthatdidn’tfeelgoodforyourself-esteem. Asimplethingyoucanquietlysay insideasyoubreatheis,“Somethingjusthappenedhere”.

Wellnesstool:Identifyandvalidatewhatyouarefeeling

Validatingyour feelingsaboutwhat justhappened isanother importantpieceofsupport in thesekindsofsituations.Thiswouldbethepointinwhichyouidentifywhatyouareemotionallyfeeling,andgetvalidationforthosefeelingseitherfromyourselforatrustedfriend.Soagain,takeabreath.Asyoubreathe,youcansaytoyourself,“Ifeelmad[orsadorscared]aboutwhatjusthappened.”

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Wellnesstool:Allowyourselftofeelyouremotions

Whatever you are feeling, let yourself feel it. Don’t swallow it down or pretend it didn’thappen.Thoseswallowedthoughtsandfeelingsdon’tactuallygoaway,theybecomeapartofus.[42]

Give yourself amoment to just to feel, andwhen you’re ready, allow your feelings to help youdeterminewhatyouneednext.Ifyouarefeelingscared,youmightneedsomespaceorprotection,untiltherushofemotionslowsdown.Ifyouarefeelingangry,youmightbeexperiencingasenseofviolationandmayneedaboundary.Ifyouaresad,youmayneedsomecomfortandsupportbeforebeginningtogetclearaboutnextstepsforyou.

Wellnesstool:Checkyourperception

Anotherimportantpartofprotectingyourselfistotrustthatsomethingjusthappenedthatdidnotfeelgoodtoyou,andrecognizethatyouaredrawingconclusionsbaseduponyourinterpretationoftheevents.Trueornot,you’remakinganassumptionaroundwhathasoccurred.Asimplethingyoucansayinsideyourmindis,“Ididn’tlikethat”.Anotherthingyoucansay,is“Itfeelslikethisistrue,but perhaps there is another interpretation.” Your feelings are real. The pain is very real, butsometimestheyarenotbasedintruth.Openyourmindtothatpossibility.[43]

Wellnesstool:SeparatewhathappenedfromwhoyouareRejectionandfailurecanleadtoshameifweallowittodefineus.Shameisnotthesameasguiltorremorse.Shameisafocusonself,guiltisafocusonbehavior.Shameis“Iambad.”Guiltis“I did something bad.” If we feel likewemade amistakewe can say, “I’m sorry Imade amistake.”Ifwe’refeelingshamethenthefeelingis,“I’msorry.Iamamistake.”There's a huge difference between shame and guilt. Shame is highly, highly correlatedwithaddiction,depression,violence,aggression,bullying,suicide,eatingdisorders.Guiltontheotherhand,isinverselycorrelatedwiththosethings.The ability to hold something we've done or failed to do up against who we want to be isincrediblyadaptive.It'suncomfortable,butit'sadaptive.[44]Guiltcanhelpusrecognizeourmistakesandfixthem.Guiltistheabilitytomeasurewhatwe’vedoneorfailedtodoagainstwhowewanttobe.Itcanleadtochangeandimprovement.Shamedoesn’thaveapositiveside.Thereisnoroomforshameintheprocessofhealing.Fightagainstanyfeelingsofshameandletthemgo.

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Wellnesstool:LetitgoSpendingtimeruminatingoverupsettingandnegativethoughtsisoneoftheunhealthiestformsofnegativethinking.[45]Ifyourthoughtsareswirlingindespair,takeactiontobreakfreeofthemandattainafreshperspective.Dowhatyouknowfromexperiencebouncesyourthinkingtoamoreoptimisticplace.[46]

Ifyoucansucceedinchangingyourmentalchannelforatleasttwominutesyouhaveachanceofbreakingthatdestructivecycleofrumination.[47]

It’sinterestingthatlettinggooftangibleitemscanalsohelpwithemotionalhealth.Aswecleanout our closets, drawers, and homes from unnecessary items it helps clear our minds aswell.Cleaningandorganizingcanbetherapeutic.Throwingthingsawayorgivingthingsawaycanbetherapeutic.Wecanalsoletgoofourworries,ourinsecuritiesandourfear.Sometimeswedon’trealizethatweareclingingontothem.Inthenovel“WheretheRedFernGrows”byWilsonRawlsthereisaninterestinganalogyaboutthedangersofnotlettinggo.AboynamedBillyhasadreamtoownapairofhuntingdogs.Heneedsaraccoon’shidetotrainhisdogs,buthecan’tcatchone.Hisgrandfatherteacheshimatricktocatcharaccoon. Yousimplydrillahole intoa logandputsomethingshinyintheholethendriveafewnailsangledintotheshaftsotheraccooncanslidehishandintotheholetogettheshinythingbutwhenhislittlefistisclaspingaroundtheshinyobject,hecan’tgethishandoutandhe’sstuck.Billythinkshisgrandfatheristeasinghim.Alltheraccoonhastodoisletgooftheshinyobjectandheisfree,butthegrandfatherisinearnestandBillytriesit.Hefindsthatitistrueandhe’sabletocatchtheraccoonsimplybecausetheraccoonrefusedtoletgo.Howmanyofusaretrappedbecausewerefusetoletgo,whenwecouldeasilybefree?Letting go isn’t easy, but it is possible. Using tangible items can help us visualize letting goemotionally.Onetooltohelpinthisprocessistothinkaboutwhateveritisthatisbotheringyouandholdsomethingtightlyinyourhandlikeapencilorscrunchingupatowel.Holdontothetowel and squeeze it while thinking about how mad or worried you are about it, continuesqueezingtightlyuntilyou’rereadytoletitgothenrelaxyourfist.Anotherpossiblemethodistovisualizetheanger,worry,frustration,orwhateverasaswirlingdarkmistinyourbody.Takeseveraldeepbreathsandasyoubreatheoutslowlyimaginethatdarknessleavingyouwiththeexhaledbreath.Asyoubreatheinimaginethatyouarebeingfilledwithclean,healinglight.

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Wellnesstool:“Energetic”or“complete”conversationsWeall useapersonal filterwhenwe speak topeople. Wemight share someofwhatwe’rethinkingorfeeling,butweholdalotback.Anenergeticorcompleteconversationisyourchancetosaytherestofwhatyou’refeeling.Youdon’tholdanythingback.Youputitallonthetable.Nowit’sveryimportanttoclarifythatthepersonthatyou’rehavingthisconversationwithisNOTactuallyintheroomwithyou.Youarebyyourself.Youaddresstheirhigherselfasyouimaginetheminyourmindandtalktothat.Aperson’shigherselfcanhandleyouyellingatthemandtellingthemhowyoufeel,butifyoudidthattotheactualpersonnothinggoodwouldcomeofit.[48]Completeconversationshaveafewkeycomponents.Firstyouaddresstheperson’shigherself,second you dump and let them have it, and third you say you’re sorry and ask forforgiveness.Somepeoplehavetriedthisandsayitdidn’twork.Itdidn’tcreateanyclosureorhealing,butthat’salwaysbecausetheyleftoutthatlastcrucialstepofsayingsorryandaskingforforgiveness.Evenifyoudon’tthinkyou’reatfault,atleastsay,‘I’msorry,pleaseforgivemeforfeelingthatway,’itwillbeenough,butyoumustapologizeoritwillnotbringanyhealingorclosure.[49]Afteryouhavethatthreepartconversationwiththeperson’shigherself,haveanotherthreepart complete conversationwithGodor a higher power, and a another threepart completeconversationwithyourself.Youhearpeopletalkabouttheneedtoforgiveyourself,andthisisaliteralwaytoapplythat.[50]Forgivenessisaformoflettinggo.Itisacriticalstepinhealing.Wellnesstool:EmotioncodeorbodycodeAccordingtoDr.AlexLickerman,thoughtscantriggerfeelingsthatremainstirreduplongafterthe thoughts themselves have been forgotten. Some studies have suggested people thinkupwardsof 12,000 thoughts per day.How couldweever remember themall? Yet a fleetingthoughtwemighthavehadthismorningaboutthepossibilityof losingourjobcanandoftendoes leave an emotional residue that lasts hours, days, weeks, or even longer. Somepsychologists argue, therefore, thatdepression is likely causedbya thought that simply isn'tremembered—athoughtaboutaproblemwedon'tbelievewecansolve.[51]

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DrBradleyNelson, a chiropracticphysician, craniopath,holistichealerand teacher,puts thattheory intopractice. He teaches thatemotionally-chargedevents fromyourpast canstillbehauntingyouintheformoftrappedemotions,whichareemotionalenergiesthatliterallyinhabityourbody.HedevelopedTheEmotionCode(orBodyCode)whichisaprocessofidentifyingandreleasingthosetrappedemotions.Youcangotohiswebsitehttps://www.healerslibrary.comtolearnmoreortofindapractitionernearyou.Wellnesstool:CombatlonelinessLonelinessisafeelingofdisconnection.Itisafeelingthat“Idon’tbelong.”Oneinfivepeoplesufferfromloneliness.[52]Lonelinesscreatesadeeppsychologicalwound,onethatdistortsourperceptionsandscramblesourthinking.Itmakesusbelievethatthosearounduscaremuchlessthantheyactuallydo. Itmakesus reallyafraid to reachout,becausewhysetyourselfup forrejectionandheartachewhenyourheartisalreadyachingmorethanyoucanstand?Youcanbesurrounded by people all day and still feel lonely. It depends solely on whether you feelemotionallyorsociallydisconnectedfromthosearoundyou.Lonelinesswon'tjustmakeyoumiserable;itcanactuallykillyou.Scientistshaveconcludedthatchroniclonelinessposesassignificantariskforyourlong-termhealthandlongevityascigarettesmoking. Loneliness causes high blood pressure, high cholesterol. It even suppresses thefunctioning of your immune system, making you vulnerable to all kinds of illnesses anddiseases.[53]Wellnesstool:Spendmoretimeonmeaningfulconnections,lesstimeonlineInordertofeelconnectedweneedtofeelseen,heard,andvalued.Prioritizeconnectionandrelationships.Createananchorofconnectionbyspendingqualitytimewithpeoplewhofeel,hearandvalueyou.Studiesreportalinkbetweentimespentonsmartphonesandmentalhealthissues.Gamingisanotherobstacletointerpersonalconnectionwithsimilarnegativeresults.Researchersfoundthatteenswhospentfiveormorehoursadayonlinewere71percentmorelikelythanthosewhospentonlyonehouradaytohaveatleastonesuicideriskfactor(depression,thinkingaboutsuicide,makingasuicideplanorattemptingsuicide).Overall,suicideriskfactorsrosesignificantlyaftertwoormorehoursadayoftimeonline.Multiplestudiesfoundthatspendingmoretimeonsocialmedialedtounhappiness,whileunhappinessdidnotleadtomoresocialmediause.

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AnotherstudyrandomlyassignedparticipantstogiveupFacebookforaweekversuscontinuingtheirusualuse.ThosewhoavoidedFacebookreportedfeelinglessdepressedattheendoftheweek.[54]Ifyou’restrugglingwithfeelingsofdisconnection,createboundariesfortheamountoftimeyouspendonsmartphones,socialmedia,gaming,orotherelectronicdevices.Itmightbeagoodideatotrya“socialmediafast”or“gamingfast”(meaningstayingcompletelyawayfromallsocialmedia, gaming, etc. for a period of time, usually a week, to regain personal balance andclarity).Strivetospendnomorethananhouradayonelectronicdevicesandspendmoretimedevelopinginterpersonalrelationships.Peopleneedfacetofaceinteractionwithpeopleinordertofeelconnected.Wellnesstool:Connectionsthroughtraditions/ritualsAnothermethod tocreateananchorof connection is through traditionsor ritualswitha setgroupofpeople.Pleasedon’tbeconfusedbytheuseoftheword“ritual.”Thewordritualmeansasetofactionsorwordsperformedinaregularway,oftenaspartofareligiousceremony,butitalsomeansanyactdoneregularly,usuallywithoutthinkingaboutit.[55]Forexample:MymorningritualincludesreadingthenewswhileIeatmycereal.In thiscase I’mreferring to theseconddefinition. It’sa repeatedaction that is sonormal, itbecomesawayoflife.Meetingwiththesamegroupofpeopleatregularlyscheduledintervalscreatestraditions/ritualswhichinturncreateconnections.Someexamplesinclude:agroupoffriendsgatheringmonthlyforabookclub,acoupleguysgettingtogethereachSaturdaymorningtoplaybasketball,twofriendsmeeteachmorningat6AMtogowalking,acongregationthatmeetsforweeklychurchmeetings.Allofthesethingscreateconnections.Oneeasywaytodocreateconnectionswithfamilymembersistoeatdinnertogetherasafamily.TurnofftheTV,putawaythephonesandspendtimeaskingeachotheraboutyourday.Onesimpleandeasytraditionorritualthathasprovensuccessfulistogiveeachpersonatthedinnertableaturntosharetwogoodthingsabouttheir day.[56] This gives a chance for each member of the family to feel seen, heard andvalued.Thesearethebasicbuildingblocksforconnection.Thingsthatarerepeatedoverandoveragainbecomeingrained.Therearemanywaystocreatetraditionsorrituals,howeverconnectionsareusuallysuccessfullycreatednotbythethingsyou

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goget,they’recreatedbythethingsyougobackto.Thereisn’taneedtosearchforsomethingnew.Findsomethingyou’realreadydoingwithyourfriends,family,orcommunityanddoitoverandoverandoveragain.Setatimetoconnectregularly.Doitwithintention.[57]Wellnesstool:Gainingcontroloflife

"What'stheworld'sgreatestlie?"theboyasked,completelysurprised.

"It'sthis:thatatacertainpointinourlives,welosecontrolofwhat'shappeningtous,andourlivesbecomecontrolledbyfate.That'stheworld'sgreatestlie."FromTheAlchemistbyPauloCoelho

Therearesomeaspectsofourlivesthatwereallydon’thavecontrolover,buttherearesomanythingsthatwecando.Wehavealotmorepowerandcontroloverourlivesthansomepeoplethink.Somephysiciansbelievethatdepressionarisesfromabeliefthatwe’repowerlesstosolveourproblems,thereforethesinglemosteffectivemeanstoresolvefeelingsofdepressionistofindawaytotapintoourownimmensepowertosolveproblems.[58]Asweexperiencecontrolandsuccessinlittlethingsinourlives,ourconfidencegrows.

Wellnesstool:MakeyourbedAsAdmiralWilliamMcRaventaughtinhisfamousspeechtograduatesattheUniversityofTexas:

“If youwant to change theworld, startoffbymakingyourbed. If youmakeyourbedeverymorning,youwillhaveaccomplishedthefirsttaskoftheday.Itwillgiveyouasmallsenseofpride,anditwillencourageyoutodoanothertask,andanother,andanother.Bytheendoftheday,thatonetaskcompletedwillhaveturnedintomanytaskscompleted.Makingyourbedwillalsoreinforcethefactthatlittlethingsinlifematter.Ifyoucan’tdothelittlethingsright,you’llneverbeabletodothebigthingsright.If,bychance,youhaveamiserableday,youwillcomehome toabed that’smade.Thatyoumade.Andamadebedgivesyouencouragement thattomorrowwillbebetter.”[59]

Wellnesstool:Declutteringourhomes,declutteringourlivesItturnsoutthatMomwasright.Weneedtogocleanourroom.

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Whenwecreateorderinourphysicalworld,ithelpscreateorderinourinnerworld.Oftenthestateofourhomesreflectthestateofourlives.WhenthereisdisorderandclutteritisdifficulttothinkclearlyEvidencesuggeststhatwhenmultiplevisualstimuliarecompetingforyourattention,youhaveahardertimenarrowingyourfocustoonlyoneofthem.Thatmeanstheclutterinyourlifeismakingyouunfocused.You’llhaveahardertimestayingontaskatwork,andyouwon’tbeas“present”inyourhomelife,either.Declutteringbringsbetterfocusbacktoyourworld.[60]Declutteringcanserveasakindofcatharsis,orreleasingofpent-upemotions.Itcanhelpyoufeelmore in control andmore independent. The act of decluttering is also shown to have apositiveeffectonyourmentalstate,makingyoufeelaccomplished.Wellnesstool:DonateitemstogoodwillOne suggestion for the clothes closet is to hang all the clothes in your closetwith all of thehangarsfacingbackwards.Whenyouwearanitemofclothing,washitandputitbackintheclosetwith the hangar in the regularway. Thiswill show youwhich clothes you’re actuallywearing.Ifafterseveralmonthsyouseeclothesthatarestillonbackwardshangarsyouhaveconcreteevidencethatyoudon’twearthoseclothes.Apopularrecommendationstatesthatifyouhaven’tusedorseenaniteminthepastyear,andyouhaven’tmissedit,youdon’tneedit.Give itaway. Thinkabouthowthosedonated itemswillbless the livesofotherpeopleandcongratulateyourselfforthegoodyoudid.Declutteringalsogiveahealthier,moreappealingaestheticandyou,yourfamilyandyourguestswillfeelmorerelaxedinyourhome.[61]

Wellnesstool:OnetaskatatimeInsteadoftryingtodoyourwholehouseatonce,focusononeroomatatime.Oronecloset.Onedrawer.Trynottothinkabouttherestofthehouseuntilthattaskisdone.Startwithsomethingsmallandmanageablethatdoesn’trequirealotofcomplexdecisions.Choosesomethingthatcanbecompletedinashortamountoftimesoyouseesuccess.Thetaskdoesn’tneedtobecompletedinonesession.Itcanbebrokendownintotimedsegments.Forexample,ifmygoalistocleanoffadeskandIdon’thavealotoftime,Icansetanactionstepofworkingfor15minutes each day on the desk until it’s completed. Those small amounts of attention withintentioncandogreatthings.

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Wellnesstool:SortyouremailinboxNotallclutteristangible.Youremailinboxislikelythemostclutteredthinginyourprofessionallife,soprioritize it.Keepyour inboxclearbyorganizingyouremails intodifferentfoldersanddeletingthemonceyounolongerneedthem.Afteryoucatchuponyourinbox,maintainyourworkby spendinga fewminuteseachdayoreachweek toprevent it fromgetting clutteredagain.[62]Wellnesstool:Visionboards“I'vediscoveredthatnumerouspeakperformersusetheskillofmentalrehearsalofvisualization.Theymentallyrunthroughimportanteventsbeforetheyhappen.”-CharlesA.Garfield

Achievinggoalscanbeaneffectivewaytohelpgainconfidenceandasenseofcontrol;creatingavisionboardcanbeapowerfultoolhelpapersonachievegoals.Therearemany“right”waystocreateavisionboard,buttheyhaveafewcommonelements.First,youneedtodefineaspaceforyourvisionboardbygettingacorkboard,whiteboard,pictureframeorevenbyoutliningaspaceonthewallwithmaskingtape.Thenyoustickpicturesthatrepresentwhatitisthatyouwant.IfIwanthappiness,ImightputupapictureofsomeonesmilingorsomethingthatIlove.Includeafewwordstodescribeyourimage.Spendafewminuteseachmorningandeachnightlookingattheimageandrepeatingthewords.Themoreyoucanvisualizewhatyouwantinyourmind, the greater your capacity to create it. Mental creation with intention is a powerfulthing.Wecaninvent,create,experienceanddestroythingswithourthoughts.[63]Keepapadofpapernearyourvisionboard. Asyouponderaboutwhatyouwanttoachievesometimesthoughtsandideaswillcometoyourmind.Writethemdownsoyoucanactonthem.

Wellnesstool:Intentionplushappinessleadstomanifestation

Falsebelief:WhenthingschangeIwillbehappy.Truebelief:WhenIamhappythingswillchange.Manifestationreferstotherealizationoractualizationofaperson’sgoalsanddesires.Itisawish,goal or desire that becomes reality. Somequotes from theAlchemist by Paulo Coelho, giveinsightintowhyweshouldtrytomanifestourdesiresandhowtobesuccessfulindoingso.

Quote#1Thereisonegreattruthonthisplanet:Whoeveryouare,orwhateveritisthatyoudo,whenyouwantsomething,itisbecausethatdesireoriginatedinthesouloftheUniverse.Itisyourmissiononearth.

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Quote#2ThesouloftheUniverseisnourishedbypeople’shappiness.

Quote#3Torealizeone’sdestinyisaperson’sonlyrealobligation.Allthingsareone.Whenyouwantsomething;alltheuniverseconspiresinhelpingyoutoachieveit.

Everybody’sfavoritequoteisthelastone,“Whenyouwantsomething;alltheuniverseconspiresinhelpingyoutoachieveit.”But inspiteofknowingthisquoteanddesiringmanythings,weoftendon’tgetwhatwewant.Whydidn’ttheUniverseconspiretohelpyouwithyourdreams?

Thesecretisintheothertwoquotes.Thefirstquotesays“yourdesireoriginatesinthesouloftheUniverse”and that’swhy theUniverse conspires inhelpingyouachieve it. Sowhen theUniverseworkstofulfillyourdreamsitisalsofulfillingthedesirewithinthesouloftheUniverse.ItmeansthatyourdesireandthedesireoftheSouloftheUniversearethesame.ThedesiresoftheUniversearesupposedtogetmanifestedthroughyou.

The second quote offers further enlightenment, “The soul of the Universe is nourished bypeople’shappiness.”Soifyoudesiresomethingwithhappinessandfindjoyinworkingtowardsthatdream, thenyounourished thesoulof theUniverse. Whenyounourish thesoulof theUniverseforthatparticulardesire,thewholeuniverseconspiresinhelpingyoutoachieveit.

Ifanyofyourdreamsarenotcomingtruewhetherit isaboutlove,relationships,job,money,health,orwell-being,itisusuallybecauseyouarenotnourishingthesouloftheUniversewithyourhappiness.

Nomatterhowbadlywewantsomething,orhowworthythedesire,itmustbenourishedwithhappiness.Ifwewantsomethingwithdesperation,ifyouwantitbecauseyoufeelsadwithoutityouwon’tgetit.Ifyouwantsomethingwiththefeelingsofangerorsadnessorfrustration,thentheUniversecan’tmakeittrueforyoubecausewithallthesenegativefeelings,youareweakeningthesouloftheUniverseandmakingthedesirediewithinit.[64]

AsAlbertSchweitzerhassaid:

Successisnotthekeytohappiness.Happinessisthekeytosuccess.

Wellnesstool:6minutemorningroutineCreatingamorningroutinecanbeaneffectivetooltocreatingorderinyourlife.Furthermore,thewayyoustartyourmorningcanmakeorbreaktherestofyourday.HalElrodpresentsaplan

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tochangeyourlifebychangingyourmorninginhisbook“TheMiracleMorning.”HeusestheacronymSAVERStoremindusofsixhabitsorritualstostartthedayoffright.SAVERSstandsforSilence,Affirmations,Visualization,Exercise,Reading,andScribing(writing).Whilethesethingsmightseemoverwhelming,Halsuggeststhatevenspendingjustsixminutesadaycanmakeallthedifference.

MinuteOne…(Silence)

Imaginewakingupinthemorning,andinsteadofrushingcarelesslyintoyourhecticday—feelingstressedandoverwhelmed—imaginethatyouinsteadspendthefirstminutesittinginpurposefulSilence.Yousit,verycalm,verypeaceful,andyoubreathedeeply,slowly.Maybeyousayaprayerofgratitudetoappreciatethemoment,orprayforguidanceonyourjourney.Maybe,youdecidetotryyourfirstminuteofmeditation.Asyousitinsilence,you’retotallypresentinthenow,inthemoment.Youcalmyourmind,relaxyourbody,andallowallofyourstresstomeltaway.Youdevelopadeepersenseofpeace,purpose,anddirection…

MinuteTwo…(Affirmations)

YoupulloutyourdailyAffirmations—theonesthatremindyouofyourunlimitedpotentialandyourmostimportantpriorities—andyoureadthemoutloudfromtoptobottom.Asyoufocusonwhat’smostimportanttoyou,yourlevelofinternalmotivationincreases.Readingovertheremindersofhowcapableyoureallyare,givesyouafeelingofconfidence.Lookingoverwhatyou’recommittedto,whatyourpurposeis,andwhatyourgoalsarere-energizesyoutotaketheactionsnecessarytolivethelifeyoutrulywant,deserve,andnowknowispossibleforyou…

MinuteThree…(Visualization)

Youcloseyoureyes,oryoulookatyourvisionboard,andyouvisualize.YourVisualizationcouldincludeyourgoals,what itwill lookandfeel likewhenyoureachthem.Youvisualizethedaygoingperfectly,seeyourselfenjoyingyourwork,smilingandlaughingwithyourfamily,oryoursignificantother,andeasilyaccomplishingallthatyouintendtoaccomplishforthatday.Youseewhatitwilllooklike,youfeelwhatitwillfeellike,andyouexperiencethejoyofwhatyouwillcreate…

MinuteFour…(Scribing)

Imagine,pulloutyourjournal,andinyourjournal,youtakeaminutetowritedownwhatyou’regratefulfor,whatyou’reproud,andtheresultsyou’recommittedtocreatingforthatday.Doingso,youputyourselfinanempowered,aninspired,andconfidentstateofmind.

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MinuteFive…(Reading)

Then,yougrabyourself-helpbookandinvestonemiraculousminutereadingapageortwo.Youlearnanewidea,somethingthatyoucanimplementintoyourday.Youdiscoversomethingnewthatyoucanusetofeelbetter—tobebetter.

MinuteSix…(Exercise)

Finally,youstandupandyouspendthe lastminute,doing jumping jacks for60secondsandgettingyourheart rateupandgettingenergizedandwakingyourselfupand increasingyourabilitytobealertandtofocus.[65]

Wellnesstool:MusicItdoesn'tmatterwhatsongyoulistento,musichasthecapabilitytochangeyourmoodfrombadtogood.Listeningtoyourfavoritemusictriggersthebraintoreleasethe“feelgood”chemicalcalleddopaminethatcouldhelpfadeawayabadmood.Musicisknowntoreducestress,helpdealwithdepression(classicalmeditativesoundsseemtobeparticularlyuplifting)andelevatemood.Musicalsohelpspeopleperformbetter incontrollingtheirhighbloodpressureand inreducinganxiety.[66]“Listening tomusic can have a real effect on various parts of the brain, as it works on theautonomicnervoussystem,whichisresponsibleforthecontrolofone'sbloodpressure,brainfunctionandheartbeat,“saysDrSajeev,ageneralphysicianatSanjeevaniClinic,Bengaluru.[67]Wellnesstool:IncreasingourmoodandenergylevelthroughupbeatmusicMusicisthestrongestformofmagic.-MarilynMansonMusiccanenhancecreativityandincreaseproductivity.TapintothepowerofmusicbycreatingaplaylistonSpotifyofyourfavoriteupbeattunesto instantlyboostyourmood. Listeningtoupbeatmusiceachdaycanimproveoverallhappinessinashortamountoftime.A2013studyin the Journal of Positive Psychology found that peoplewho listened to upbeatmusic couldimprovetheirmoodsandboosttheirhappinessinjusttwoweeks.Andahappiermoodbringsbenefits beyond feeling good. Happiness has been linked to better physical health, higherincome,andgreaterrelationshipsatisfaction.[68]

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Wellnesstool:SadmusicalsohasausefulroleinhealingForme,singingsadsongsoftenhasawayofhealingasituation.Itgetsthehurtoutintheopenintothelight,outofthedarkness.-RebaMcEntire

AstudypublishedintheJournalofConsumerResearch,foundthatpeopletendtoprefersadmusicwhentheyareexperiencingadeepinterpersonalloss,liketheendofarelationship.

Theauthorsofthatstudysuggestedthatsadmusicprovidesasubstituteforthelostrelationship.Theycomparedittothepreferencemostpeoplehaveforanempathicfriend—someonewhotrulyunderstandswhatyou’regoingthrough.[69]

Wellnesstool:SingalongToamplify thepowerofmusic, singalong. Singing canbeagreat releaseof tensionandanincrediblemoodbooster.[70]Selectseveralsongswithupliftingwordsthatspeaktoyoupersonally.Printoutthelyricsandsingalong.Sometimestheperfectsongcanspeakthewordsofyoursoul.SongwritersJustinPaulandBenjPasekcreatedamasterpieceofdeclarationandhealingintheirsong“ThisIsMe”sungbyKealaSettleinTheGreatestShowman.PlayitloudandsingalongwithKeala.Singitlikeyoumeanit.

Someofthelyricsare:

Iamnotastrangertothedark

Hideaway,theysay

'Causewedon'twantyourbrokenparts

I'velearnedtobeashamedofallmyscars

Runaway,theysay

Noone'llloveyouasyouare

ButIwon'tletthembreakmedowntodust

Iknowthatthere'saplaceforus

Forweareglorious

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Whenthesharpestwordswannacutmedown

I'mgonnasendaflood,gonnadrownthemout

Iambrave,Iambruised

IamwhoI'mmeanttobe,thisisme

Lookout'causehereIcome

AndI'mmarchingontothebeatIdrum

I'mnotscaredtobeseen

Imakenoapologies;thisisme…

Wellnesstool:Dancing

Dancing to your favorite songs is instant mood booster. Music motivates you to move,especiallywhenyouplaysongsthatarefamiliartoyouandthatyoulove.

DanielVaz,headcoachatNike+RunClub,saysmusicandexercisehavebeenconnectedsinceveryearlytimes.Musichasthepotential tomakesomeonemoreefficientandhavebetterenduranceandtofeelmorejoyfulduringexercise.ItiswiththisintrinsicunderstandingthatStepAerobicandotherformsofexercise,likeZumba,usemusictocreateatempo,provideexcitementandpromotecoordinationingroupexercise.[71]Wellnesstool:PhysicalactivityWhenyouhavedepressionoranxiety,exerciseoftenseemslikethelastthingyouwanttodo,but research on depression, anxiety and exercise shows that the psychological and physicalbenefitsofexercisecanalsohelpimprovemoodandreduceanxiety.[72]

Regularexercisemayhelpeasedepressionandanxietyby:

• Releasingfeel-goodendorphinsandothernaturalbrainchemicalsthatcanenhanceyoursenseofwell-being

• Takingyourmindoffworriessoyoucangetawayfromthecycleofnegativethoughtsthatfeeddepressionandanxiety

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Regularexercisehasmanypsychologicalandemotionalbenefits,too.Itcanhelpyou:

• Gainconfidence.Meetingexercisegoalsorchallenges,evensmallones, canboostyour self-confidence. Getting in shape can also make you feel better about yourappearance.

• Getmoresocialinteraction.Exerciseandphysicalactivitymaygiveyouthechancetomeetorsocializewithothers.Justexchangingafriendlysmileorgreetingasyouwalkaroundyourneighborhoodcanhelpyourmood.

• Copeinahealthyway.Doingsomethingpositivetomanagedepressionoranxietyisahealthycopingstrategy.Tryingtofeelbetterbydrinkingalcohol,dwellingonhowyou feel, or hoping depression or anxiety will go away on its own can lead toworseningsymptoms.[73]

Wellnesstool:BettersleepInsomniadescribesadifficultyfallingorstayingasleep.It’sprettycommon–oneinthreepeopleintheUSexperienceinsomniaatsomepointintheirlives.Unfortunately,peoplewithinsomniaare ten timesmore likely todevelopdepression thanpeoplewithout, and83%ofdepressedindividualsdisplayinsomniasymptoms.[74]

Eventhoughscientistsstilldon’tfullyunderstandwhatcausesdepressionorsleepdisorders,theyhave found neurochemical links between the two. The good news is that treating eitherdepressionorrelatedsleepproblemstendstoimprovethesymptomsoftheother.Gettinggoodsleepisessentialforovercomingdepression.Thefollowinglistsharessometipsforgettingbettersleep.[75]

Wellnesstool:Keepasleepdiary

If you believe you are suffering from depression and/or a comorbid sleep disorder, keep asleep/mooddiaryfor2weekstosharewithyourdoctor.

Recordwhattimeyougotobed,howlongittakesyoutofallasleep,whenyouwakeup,andhowmuchtimeyouspentasleep.Alsonoteyourleveloffatigueorenergythroughouttheday,aswellasanychangesinmood,diet,libido,orthoughtpatterns.

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Wellnesstool:Turnyourbedroomintoasleephaven

Letyourbedroombeapeacefulplacethatpromotesrest. Watchingtelevision,working,andsocializingshouldtakeplaceelsewhere.Youwantyourmindtoseeyourbedroomasaplaceofrest,notofworry, stress,or socialactivity. Removingelectronicdevices, creatingorder,andremovingclutterwillhelpcreatethatpeacefulplace.

Keepyourbedroomascoolandasdarkaspossiblebyremovingelectronicsandusingblackoutcurtainsifnecessary.Youspendonethirdofyourlifeinbed.Therefore,thisisanareathatisdeservingofaproperinvestmentinaquality,comfortable,supportivemattressandpillowsthatmakesleepcomeeasier.

Wellnesstool:Sticktoaregularsleepschedule

Gotobedandwakeupatthesametimeeveryday,evenweekends.Ensureyouleaveenoughroomforyoutoconceivablygetatleast7hoursofsleep,butdon’tworryaboutwhetheryouspendallofthattimeasleep.Youronlygoalistosticktotheschedule;eventuallyyourbrainwillcatchupandtrainitselftosleepandwakeatthosetimesmorenaturally.

Avoidnappingifyoucan.Ifyou’reabsolutelyexhausted,limitthemtoshortpowernapsof30minutesorless.

Wellnesstool:Createacalmingbedtimeroutine

Depressionandanxiety-producingthoughtsarearecipeforinsomnia.Helpeaseyourmindofworrieswithacalmingbedtimeroutine.Tryrelaxationtechniques,deepbreathingexercises,ormeditation.Takeawarmbath.

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Ifyourmindcontinuestoraceatnight,taketimetowriteyourthoughtsdowninaworryjournal–gettingthemoutofyourheadandontothepagewilldiminishtheirpower.Relieveanxietiesbylistingoutanyremainingto-doitemsyoucantakecareoftomorrow.

Wellnesstool:Getplentyofsunshine

Naturalsunlightfacilitatesahealthysleep-wakecycle.Aimtogetplentyofsunshine,ideallybyexercisingoutdoorsinthemorningorearlypartoftheday.Thiswillgiveyouanenergyboostthatmakesiteasiertofeelbetterandlessfatiguedduringthedaytime.Then,asitgetsdark,yourbrainwillrecognizeit’stimetowinddownandfallasleep

Whileyou’reatworkor school, sitby thewindows to increaseyouramountof sunlight.Theamountofdaylightvarieswiththeseasonsandcanbea factor inSeasonalaffectivedisorder(SAD).Lighttherapyisespeciallyeffectiveforseasonalaffectivedisorder,anditcanbeappliedtoinstancesofinsomniaorhypersomniaindependentofSAD.

Lighttherapyinvolvessittinginfrontofaspeciallightboxthatdelivers10,000luxofbrightlightsimilartothesun.Theindividualusesitinthemorningoratnighttohelpthemwakeuporstayup,dependingonhowtheextentoftheirdaytimesleepiness.Besideslightboxesandlamps,lighttherapydevicescomeinwearablevisors,dawnsimulatingalarmclocks,andmore.[76]

Wellnesstool:Eatwellandavoidstimulatingsubstances

Foodsthatarehighinsugarorfatsmesswithyoursleep,yourhealth,andyourmood.Instead,fillyourdietwithfoodsthatpromotehealthyenergylevelsandsleep.

Alsotakecaretoavoidanystimulatingsubstancesintheafternoonoreveningthatinterferewithsleep,suchascaffeine,alcohol,ornicotine.

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Wellnesstool:Staycalmwhenyouwakeup

Unfortunately,retrainingyourbodytosleepwellisnotanovernightprocess.Expect–andaccept–thatyou’llcontinuehavingdisturbedsleepduringthisprocess.

Whenyoudowakeup,practiceyourdeepbreathingorprogressivemusclerelaxationexercises.Meditateorvisualizesomethingthatmakesyoufeelhappyorcalm.Turnonasoftlampandreadabook.Staycalmandsleepwillcome.

Wellnesstool:CPAPtherapyforthosewithsleepapnea

Obstructivesleepapnea(OSA)describesaconditionwheretheindividualliterallystopsbreathingmomentarilywhilesleep.Whenthebrainkicksintostartbreathingagain,itinterruptsthesleepcycle,soevenifthepersondoesnotwakeup,itcanstillleadtosleepdeprivation.

Peoplewith apnea aremore likely to suffer from depression, and even peoplewithout trueapnea,butwhosnore,aremorelikelytobedepressed.Thisrelationshipisparticularlystronginmen.

Individualswithobstructivesleepapneacangetfittedforacontinuouspositiveairwaypressure(CPAP) device. These are extremely effective for treating OSA and related insomnia – andapparently depression, too. Individuals with co-morbid depression showed significantimprovementayearafterusingtheirdevice.

IndividualwithOSAanddepressionshouldbecarefulabouttakingtricyclicantidepressants,sincesedativescanworsensymptomsofOSA.Checkwithyourdoctorfirstandbesureto letthemknowaboutyourOSA.[77]

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Wellnesstool:Smile-evenwhenyoudon’tfeellikeitSciencehas shown that themere act of smiling can lift yourmood, lower stress, boost yourimmunesystemandpossiblyevenprolongyour life.[78] It’s aprettybackwards idea, isn’t it?Doesn’titgotheotherwayaround?Dr. IshaGuptaa, a neurologist from IGEA Brain and Spine, explains a smile spurs a chemicalreactioninthebrain,releasingcertainhormonesincludingdopamineandserotonin.“Dopamineincreases our feelings of happiness. Serotonin release is associatedwith reduced stress. Lowlevelsofserotoninareassociatedwithdepressionandaggression,”saysDr.Gupta.“Lowlevelsofdopaminearealsoassociatedwithdepression.”[79]“Evenforcingafakesmilecanlegitimatelyreducestressandloweryourheartrate,”addsDr.SivanFinkel.JaimePfeffer,asuccesscoachandmeditationinstructorbasedinFlorida,counselsher clients to spending 60 seconds every morning smiling as part of a morning routine tosuperchargetheirmood.[80]Asmilecanchangeeverything.Itcanopendoorsandtheheartsofotherpeoplewhosecultureyoudonotevenknow.Asmileisthemostinternationallanguagethateveryoneknows.Wellnesstool:CalibrateyourbodyPeoplewithdepressionoftenhavedowncasteyeswithdroopyshouldersmirroringtheirdownmood.AccordingtoastudyfromtheUniversityofAucklandtheymayfeelmoreupbeatandlessfatiguedjustbysimplysittingupstraighter.It’sanotherexampleofthebodylanguageaffectingtheactualmood.

Thesestudiessuggestthat,comparedtosittinginaslumpedposition,sittinguprightcanmakeyoufeelmoreproudafterasuccess,increaseyourpersistenceatanunsolvabletask,andmakeyoufeelmoreconfidentinyourthoughts.Itcanmakeyoufeelmorealertandenthusiastic,feellessfearful,andhavehigherself-esteem.[81]

Beginthedaywithamorningroutinetocalibrateyourbody.Standuptallwithyourchinup.Smile. Keepyourshouldersback. Keepyourhandsrelaxedatyoursidesandkeepyour feetfacingforward.Chinup,smileon,shouldersback,handsrelaxed,feetforward.Holdthatposefor 60 seconds. You can recalibrate at any time during the day for an extra pick-me-up orconfidencebooster.

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Wellnesstool:ForgivenessForgivenessisn’tjustareligiousthing.It’sahumanthing.Forgivenessmeansdifferentthingstodifferentpeople.Generally,however,itinvolvesadecisiontoletgoofresentmentandthoughtsofrevenge.[82]Theactthathurtoroffendedyoumightalwaysbewithyou,butforgivenesscanlessenitsgriponyouandhelpfreeyoufromthecontrolofthepersonwhoharmedyou.Forgivenesscanevenleadtofeelingsofunderstanding,empathyandcompassionfortheonewhohurtyou.

Forgivenessdoesn'tmeanforgettingorexcusingtheharmdonetoyouormakingupwiththepersonwhocausedtheharm,butforgivenessbringsakindofpeacethathelpsyougoonwithlife.

AccordingtoresearchattheMayoClinic,thebenefitsofforgivenessinclude:[83]

• Healthierrelationships• Improvedmentalhealth• Lessanxiety,stressandhostility• Lowerbloodpressure• Fewersymptomsofdepression• Astrongerimmunesystem• Improvedhearthealth• Improvedself-esteem

AnexcellentexampleofthepowerofforgivenessisthestoryofImmaculeeIlibzgiza.ImmaculeeIlibagizagrewupinacountrysheloved,surroundedbyafamilyshecherished.Butin1994heridyllicworldwasrippedapartasRwandadescendedintoabloodygenocide.Immaculee'sfamilywasbrutallymurderedduringakillingspreethatlastedthreemonthsandclaimedthelivesofnearlyamillionRwandans.

Incredibly,Immaculeesurvivedtheslaughterbyhidingwithsevenotherwomeninacrampedbathroomfor91dayswhilehundredsofmachete-wieldingkillershuntedforthem.

Sheemergedfromherbathroomhideouthavingdiscoveredthemeaningoftrulyunconditionallove.Herlovesostrongshewasableseekoutandforgiveherfamily'skillers.Thisremarkablewoman tells her story in her book Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan

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Holocaust.Herjourneythroughthedarknessofgenocidewillinspireanyonewhoselifehasbeentouchedbyfear,suffering,andloss.

Wellnesstool:Foodaffectsfeelings

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps regulate sleep and appetite,mediatemoods, andinhibitpain.Sinceabout95%ofyourserotoninisproducedinyourgastrointestinaltract,itmakessensethattheinnerworkingsofyourdigestivesystemdon’tjusthelpyoudigestfood,butalsoguideyouremotions.[84]

Furthermore,yourbrainrequiresaconstantsupplyoffuel.Thatfuelcomesfromthefoodsyoueat, therefore what you eat directly affects the structure and function of your brain, andultimately,yourmood.

Dietshighinrefinedsugars,forexample,areharmfultothebrain.Inadditiontoworseningyourbody’s regulation of insulin, they also promote inflammation and oxidative stress. Multiplestudies have found a correlation between a diet high in refined sugars and impaired brainfunction—andevenaworseningofsymptomsofmooddisorders,suchasdepression.[85]

Studies have shown that diets high in vegetables, fruits, unprocessed grains, and fish andseafood,andonlymodestamountsofleanmeatsanddairyhaveariskofdepression25%to35%lowerthanthosewhoeatprocessedandrefinedfoods.[86]

Createafoodjournalbyrecordingwhatyoueat.Startpayingattentiontohoweatingdifferentfoodsmakesyoufeel—notjustinthemoment,butthenextday.Foodallergiesandintolerancessometimes create depression-like symptoms. For example, people with non-celiac glutensensitivity (also called gluten intolerance) can experience symptoms such as "foggy mind,"depression,ADHD-likebehavior, abdominal pain, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, headaches,boneorjointpain,andchronicfatiguewhentheyhaveglutenintheirdiet.

Tryeatinga“clean”dietfortwotothreeweeks—thatmeanscuttingoutallprocessedfoodsandsugar.Addfermentedfoods likekimchi,miso,sauerkraut,pickles,orkombucha.Youalsomightwanttotrygoingdairy-free—andsomepeopleevenfeelthattheyfeelbetterwhentheirdietsaregrain-free.Seehowyoufeel.Thenslowlyintroducefoodsbackintoyourdiet,onebyone,andseehowyoufeel.[87]

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Wellnesstool:DarkchocolateJ.K.RowlingwasrightontrackwhensheusedchocolatetohelptreattheunpleasanteffectsofthedementorsonHarryPotter.Itturnsoutthatextradarkchocolatereallydoesimproveyourmoodandisgreatforbrainhealth.Whilepurecocoaisbest,thismaybetoobitterforanyonewithasweettooth,soagoodruleofthumbistogoforchocolatethatis85%cocoaormore.Basically,thedarkerthechocolate,thebetteritisforyourbrain.[88]Cocoaishighinflavanolswhichhaveantioxidantandanti-inflammatoryproperties,andreducebloodpressure.Forareferencepoint,thedarkerthechocolate,themoreflavanols.So,thebottomlinehereisthateatingdarkchocolateisgoodforyourmemory,bloodpressure,andyourmood.Ithelpsalleviatedepressionandalsoactsasananti-inflammatory,whichmeansthatitisgoodforyourbrain.[89]Wellnesstool:KeepinghydratedwithplentyofwaterDehydration and depression are linked in several ways. Depression is often connected toinsufficientlevelsofserotonin,animportantneurotransmitterwhichlargelydeterminesmood.Dehydrationnegativelyaffectsserotoninlevels.Dehydrationalsodepletesotheressentialaminoacidscontributingtofeelingsofdejection,inadequacy,anxiety,irritability.Dehydrationcanalsodecreaseenergyproductioninthebrain.[90]Stress is one of the of the biggest factors known to contribute to depression. In the bookHexagonalWater:TheUltimateSolution,M.J.Pangmanwrites“Dehydrationisthenumberonecauseofstressinthehumanbody.”

Drinkingplentyofwatercanhelpminimizethenegativephysiologicalandpsychologicaleffectsofstress.[91]

According toTheMayoClinic,asageneral ruleyouwant tostrive todrinkhalfofyourbodyweightinouncesofwaterdailygenerally.Forexample,ifyouweigh180lbs.,youwouldwanttodrinkabout90ouncesofwatertoadequatelyhydrateyourbody.

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Wellnesstool:Yoga,taichiTaiChi isabiological treatment fordepression.[92] Studieshavebeendonetoevaluationtheeffects of yoga and tai chi on depression, anxiety, resilience, health-related quality of life,cognition, and inflammation. Researchers found the those who do these mindful forms ofexercise were more likely to have reductions in depression symptoms and to experiencedepression remission. They also had greater improvement of physical functioning, and theyperformedbetteroncognitivetests.ThestudyshowedbothbehavioralandbiologicalbenefitsofincludingTaiChioryogaaspartoftreatmentfordepressivemooddisorders.[93]Wellnesstool:MeditationMeditationhasbeenshowntobeevenmoreeffectivethanmusicinloweringlevelsofdepressivesymptomsandimprovingmentalhealthandcognitivefunctioning.[94]Meditationprovidesanadditionaladvantageinthatisbeenshowntohaveapositiveeffectontelomeres.TelomeresarestretchesofDNAstrandsattheendsofchromosomeswhichprotectchromosomesfrominstability.Asimplifiedexplanationisthattheymaybelikenedtothelittleplasticcapsattheendsofourshoelacesthatkeeptheendsfromfraying.Shortertelomereshavebeenlinkedtochronicpsychologicalstressandmortalityriskinhumans.Recentstudiessuggestthat some forms of meditation may help to mitigate psychological stress and its biologicalcorrelatesandmayevenhaveapositiveeffectonthehealthandlengthoftelomeres.[95]Wellnesstool:NatureBeing in nature fights depression, improvesmental health, andwell-being. Spending time innaturehaslongbeenassociatedwithbeingmindfulandmeditative,butonlyrecentlyhasthescientificcommunityresearchedthementalhealthbenefitsofoutdoorimmersion.[96]

A recent study conducted by researchers from theUniversity of Essex and published by thementalhealthorganizationMindfoundthattakingawalkinnaturereduceddepressionscoresin71percentofparticipants.Researcherscomparedtheeffectwithacontrolgroupwhoalsotookwalk,butinashoppingcenter.Only45percentoftheshoppingcenterwalkershadreduceddepressionscores,while22percentofthemactuallyfeltmoredepressed.[97]

Another study published in 2010 in the Journal of Environmental Psychology showed thatspendingevenjust20minutesoutsideperdaycouldboostenergylevels.[98]AsAmericanauthor

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RichardLouvsaysinhisbookTheNaturePrinciple,peoplelivinginhigh-techsocietiesoftensufferfromwhathecalls"naturedeficitdisorder."

It’stimetogooutsideandplay.Goforahike,workintheyard,getyourfingersinthedirt,putyour toes in the sand,planta tomatoplant to createa containergarden if youdon’thaveayard.Butfindsomewaytoconnectwithnature.

Wellnesstool:BenefitsofPetsSometimesbeingaroundpeoplecanoverwhelming.Petscanprovidecompanionship,alleviatefeelingsofloneliness,andcreateasenseofpurposeaswecareforourpets,butthebenefitsofpetownershipgofarbeyondthat.TheAmericanHeartAssociationhaslinkedtheownershipofpets,especiallydogs,withareducedriskforheartdiseaseandgreaterlongevity.Petownershavelowertriglycerideandcholesterol levels(indicatorsofheartdisease)thanthosewithoutpets.Dogownersarelesslikelytosufferfromdepressionthanthosewithoutpets.Playingwithadogorcatcanelevatelevelsofserotoninanddopamine,whichcalmandrelax.Oneofthereasonsforthesetherapeuticeffectsisthatdogsfulfillthebasichumanneedtotouch.Pettingadogorcatreducesstresslevels,calmsheartrate.Evenhardenedcriminalsinprisonhaveshownlong-termchangesintheirbehaviorafterinteractingwithdogs,manyofthemexperiencingmutualaffectionforthefirsttime.Stroking,hugging,andholdingalovinganimalcanrapidlycalmandsootheuswhenwe’restressedoranxious.Thecompanionshipofapetcanalsoeaseloneliness,andmostdogsareagreatstimulusforhealthyexercise,whichcansubstantiallyboostyourmoodandeasedepression.[99]Petscanoffercomfort,companionship,andlove.Ifdepressionmakesyoufeellonely,petscanbreakthecycle.Apetcanremindyouthatyou'renotalone.Petsofferunconditionallove,whichcan be extraordinarily soothing when feeling isolated. Pets can help shake off feelings ofworthlessness.

Caring for a pet requires keeping a regular schedule and may give a sense of purpose androutine.[100]

Wellnesstool:ServiceandcompassionDepressionandanxietytendtomakeapersonretreatinward.Helpingotherpeoplecanhelpbringusoutsideourselves. Studieshaveshownthatpeoplewhocreatecompassionategoalsabouthelpingothersandmakingapositivedifferenceinsomeoneelse’slifenotonlylowered

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levelsofdepressionandanxiety,butalsoexperiencedimprovementsintheirrelationships.Infact, service was more effective in making a positive difference that creating self-esteemgoals.[101]Thisisreallygoodnewsandcreatesawin/winsituation.Whenweturnourattentiontowardhelpingothers,wemakeeveryonefeelbetter—ourselvesincluded.Whataresomespecificways topracticecompassion forothers? Beingsupportiveofothers.Havingcompassionforothers'mistakes.Donatingtocharity.Takingafriendouttolunchorevengraciouslylettingsomeonemergeinfrontofyouintraffic.

Making constructive comments to others. Our words are powerful, for good and for harm.Buildingothersupwithourwordsalsobuildsourrelationshipswiththem.Anaddedbonus:Wecan'tbesayingdestructivewordsatthesametimethatwe'resayingconstructiveones.

Avoidingdoinganythingthatwouldbeharmfultoothers.Sometimesit'senoughsimplytoavoidhurtingotherpeople.Forexample,maybethatmeanswalkingawayduringaheatedargumentwhenweknowwe'reabouttosaysomethingvenomous.

Avoidingbeingself-centered.Apreoccupationwithourownwell-beingcrowdsoutconcernforothers.Highlevelsofdepressionandanxietytendtomakeusturninwardandfocusonourselves,whichprobablyexplainsinpartwhycompassionforotherscanrelievebothoftheseconditions.

Avoidingdoingthingsthatareunhelpfultoothers.Wecantakecarenottodothingsthatmakeothers'livesmoredifficult,likeleavingamessforthemtocleanup.[102]

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Timetobegin-Whatdoyouwant?Whatwouldyoulikeyourlifetobelikeayearfromtoday?Howwouldyouliketofeelaboutyourself?Howwouldyouliketofeelaboutyourlife?Somephysiciansbelievethatdepressionarises from a belief that we’re powerless to solve our problems, therefore the single mosteffectivemeanstoresolvefeelingsofdepressionistofindawaytotapintoourownimmensepowertosolveproblems.Usingtheseworksheetstohelpyousetandaccomplishgoalsandmakeprogressareaneffectivemethodtotapintothatpower.

TheseworksheetsareintendedtobeusedinconjunctionwiththeworkbookPathwaytoHappiness:AWellnessToolKit.

ThePathwaytoHappinessissimple,repeatedstepstopromoteprogressivehealingItissaidthatajourneyofathousandmilesbeginswithasinglestep.Thejourneyisnotagiantleapofathousandmilesinasinglestep,butmultiplesmallstepsrepeatedoverandoveragain.Likewise,thePathwaytoHappinessissmallsimplestepsrepeatedoverandoveragain.Itisajourneyofprogressivehealing.Thestepsare:Step1–selectanoverarchinggoalorobjectivetoworkonforthenext5weeks.Step2–chooseweeklySMARTgoalstoprogresstowardthelargergoal/objectiveStep3–breakSMARTgoaldownintodailySMARTactionstepsStep4–buildpositivehabitsbyestablishingamorningandeveningroutineStep5–returnandreporttoamentor/friend/accountabilitypartner/coachStep6–repeatsteps2-5eachweekfor5weeksStep7–evaluateprogressandsetanewgoalorobjectiveforthenext5weeksWe’llgiveanexampletoseehowthismightwork,buttherearemanyoptions.Step1-selectanoverarchinggoalorobjectivetoworkonforthenext5weeksJillisreadytobeginherownPathwaytoHappiness.Atthemoment,Jillcan’tthinkofaspecificgoal that she’d like to accomplishwithin the next 5 weeks, but she realizes from her initialevaluationthatshedoesn’tlikeherselfverymuch.Shedecidesthatshewantstolearntolikeherselfbetter.Fortheobjective,shewrites“Iwanttoimprovemyrelationshipwithmyself.”

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Step2–chooseweeklySMARTgoalstoprogresstowardalargergoal/objectiveJillwillselectatleastonespecificSMARTgoaltocompletethisweekthatwillhelphertoworktowards achieving her larger goal or objective. SMART stands for SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE,ATTAINABLE,REALISTIC,andTIMELY.TohelpherchooseaSMARTgoal,shenoticesthatthere’sa“ToolsbyTopics” list inbackof thiswellness toolkitandreadsthroughthetoolsunder theheading“Buildingself-esteem/improvingandstrengthening.”There’sanotherheadingthatsays“Overcomingnegativeself-talk/relationshipwithself”withanotherlistofsuggestedtools.Bothoftheseseemliketheymightbeusefulinlearningtolikeherself.Shereviewsthelistoftoolsunderthoseheadingsandselectsafewthatshelikes.Shereviewsthosesectionsinthebooktoremind her what they mean and how to do them. She kind of likes the idea of positiveaffirmationsanddeclarations;selftalk;2minutedistraction;successlists;calibrateyourbody;smiling-evenifyoudon’tfeellikeit;embracewhatyoulove;andserviceandcompassion.Thosethingsseemlikesomethingshecoulddo,butshedoesn'twanttofeeloverwhelmedbydoingtoomanynewthingsatonce.JillchoosespositiveaffirmationsforherfirstSMARTgoal.Simplywriting“positiveaffirmations”forhergoalisn’tspecificenough.ShewillwritehergoalintheformofaSMARTgoal.ShewillmakeitSPECIFIC,MEASURABLE,ATTAINABLE,REALISTIC,andTIMELY.TomakeitSPECIFIC,shechoosestoselect5positiveaffirmations,print themoutandhangthemuponherbathroommirror.Bychoosingaspecificnumber,JillalsomadehergoalMEASURABLE,it’snotopenended,sheknowsexactlywhenshe’scompletedhergoal.Sincethegoalissmall,Jillknowsthathergoalis ATTAINABLE, it is something that she has control over, and she knows that her goal issomethingthatshecanREALISTICALLYcomplete.Andsinceshehasaspecifictimedeadlineofcompletingthisgoalduringthisweek,hergoalisalsoTIMELY.Step3-breakSMARTgoaldownintodailySMARTactionstepsEachdayJillchoose1smallactionstepthatwillleadtowardherreachinghergoalofselecting5positiveaffirmations,printthemoutandhangthemuponherbathroommirror.Onday1heractionstepwastosimplyreadthroughthelistofaffirmationsinPathwaytoHappinessandthinkaboutthem.Day2heractionstepwastolookonlineandseeadditionalexamplesofpositiveaffirmations.Onday3,heractionstepwastocompilealistofaffirmationsthatshelikes.Onday4,heractionstepwastonarrowdownthatlistto5.Onday5heractionstepwastoprintacopy of them and tape them on her bathroommirror. Does that sound easy? Good. It’ssupposedtobe.Thedailyactionstepscanbesmall,maybetakingonlyafewsecondsorafewminutes(orlongerifyou’dlike),butitissomethingthatyouactuallycommittodoing.Step4–buildpositivehabitsbyestablishingamorningandeveningroutine

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InadditiontoworkingonaweeklySMARTsteppingstonegoal,thePathwaytoHappinessplanistobuildpositivehabitsbyestablishingamorningandeveningroutinethatyoudoatleast5daysaweek.Choosethingsthatwillhelpyouprogresstowardsyourgoal/objective.Theitemsonthemorningandeveningroutineneedtobesimplethingsthatyoucanalreadydo,butperhapsneedaremindertoactuallydothem.Thisisalsoanopportunitytogiveyourselfcreditforthegoodthingsyouarealreadydoing.Depending onwhere you’re at emotionally, just getting out of bed in themorning can be achallenge.Inourexample,we’llsaythatJillisinaroughspotandgettingoutofbedandgettingdressedandreadyforthedayareachallengeforher,butshe’sdoingit.Soforthefirsttwoitemsonhermorningroutineshechoosestogetoutofbed,andtogetdressedandreadyfortheday.Thoseareexcellentitemstoputonhermorningroutinelistandcelebratethosedailysuccesses.Forherthirditemshechoosestocalibrateherbodybystandingtallwithherchinup,smileon,shouldersback,handsrelaxedatherside,andfeetfacingforward.Shewillholdthatposefor60secondsthengoaboutherday.Morningroutinecomplete.Forhereveningroutine,Jillchoosestobrushherteeth,write2sentences(ormore)inherjournal,andtake5slow,deepbreathsbeforegoingtobed.Shefeelsconfidentthatshecandothesethingsconsistently.Onedayatatime–EachdayJilltriedtocompletethethreeitemsinhermorningroutine,thenchoseonesimpleactionstepthatwouldhelpherworktowardherSMARTgoalfortheweek,thenintheeveningshetriedtodothosethreeitemsinhereveningroutine.Shechosethingsthatwouldn’ttakealotoftimebecauseshedidn’twanttobeoverwhelmedwithalotofextraexpectations.Step5–returnandreporttoamentor/friend/accountabilitypartner/coachJilltalkedtoherfriendAmandaatthebeginningoftheweekandletherfriendknowthatshewasworkingonimprovingherself.JillaskedAmandaifshewouldhelpherbeaccountablebyallowinghertoreporttoherinaweekwhetherornotshehaddoneit.AmandawasdelightedtohelpherfriendandtheyagreedthatJillwouldtextAmandaat8:00onSundaynightwitheitherthemessage“Ididit”or“Ididn’tdoit,”buteitherway,shewouldsendatexttoAmandaonSundaynight.Whathappenednext-Eventhoughthisplanseemedeasyenough,Jillfoundthatinthedaytodayapplication,shedidn’tdoaperfectjob.Sometimessheforgot,sometimesshejustdidn’tfeellikeit,butshereallydidtrytodoitmostofthetime.Asshelookedatherchartattheendoftheweekshesawalotof

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checkmarks,butshealsosawsomeemptyspaceswhereshedidn’tdoit.Inthepast,shemighthaveberatedherselfforthoseemptyspacesandgivenup,butasshemarkedthe“Measuringweeklysuccess”sectionatthebottomofthepage,shefoundthatalthoughshedidn’tfollowthroughperfectly,shereallydidhavesomesuccessesandshemadesomeprogress.Progress,notperfectionPleasenoticethatyoudon’tneedtobeperfect,justprogressing.It’snota“failure”ifyouforgettodothosethingsonyourmorningandeveningroutineacoupletimes.Norisita“failure”ifyoudon’treachaweeklySMARTgoal.It’sokay.Justkeeptryinganddoyourbest.

Step6-repeatsteps2-5eachweekfor5weeksJillwillfollowthesamepatternofchoosinganotherweeklySMARTgoaltoprogresstowardherobjectiveofimprovingherrelationshipwithherself.Tohelphergetideasforanewgoal,shegoesbacktothatlistshemadeearlierandlooksattheothertoolsthatmighthelpherinherobjective.Shechoosestoworkonherself-talk.Ifshejustwrites“workonself-talk”ashergoal,thereisgoingtobeaproblem.Chancesarethatshewillnoteliminateallnegativeself-talkwithinaweekandmightgetfrustratedandwanttogiveup.Itneedstobere-writtenasaSMARTgoalthathassomeaspectthatisachievablethisweek.Itneedstobewritteninawaythatleadstosuccess,notfailure.Shethinksofawayitmightbemeasurableandsuccessful.Shechoosestowritethegoalthisway:Iwillusetoolstocombatnegativeself-talkatleast5timesduringtheweek. Bywriting it inthiswayhergoal isnowSMART(SPECIFIC,MEASURABLE,ATTAINABLE,REALISTIC,andTIMELY).

Fortheactionstepstoachievethatgoalshelistsvariousthingsshecantrytodistractherselfforatleast2minutestostopthecycleofruminatingnegativeself-talk.Shelistsoptionsofsingingasong,readingthroughthe“Iam”statementsinthebook,repeatingpositiveaffirmations,andcalibratingherbodybystandingupstraightwithchinheldhigh,smileon,shouldersback,handsrelaxedathersides,andfeet facingforwardandholdingthatposefor60seconds. She’ll trydifferentthingstoseewhatisthemosteffectiveforher.Ifsomethingdidn’twork,shecantryagainortryadifferenttacticnexttime.Hergoalwastotry.Evenifsheisn’tperfectateliminatingallnegativeself-talk,byreachinghergoal,shewasatleastabletowinthatbattle5timesduringtheweekandshecanbuildonthatsuccess.Jillalsochoosestoadjusthermorningandeveningroutine,sinceshenowhasanewtoolshecanuseeachday.Shehasalistof5positiveaffirmationstatementsbecauseshesuccessfullycreatedonelastweek.Shechoosestomodifyhermorningroutinebyreplacing“gettingoutofbed”withrepeatingherpositiveaffirmations3times.Shealsochoosestomodifyhereveningroutineby

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replacing“brushingteeth”withrepeatingherpositiveaffirmations3timesbeforebed.Therestofthemorningandeveningroutineitemsshekeepsthesame.Jillalsochoosestoadjusthermorningandeveningroutine,sinceshenowhasanewtoolshecanuseeachday.Shehasalistof5positiveaffirmationstatementsbecauseshesuccessfullycreatedonelastweek.Shechoosestomodifyhermorningroutinebyreplacing“gettingoutofbed”withrepeatingherpositiveaffirmations3times.Shealsochoosestomodifyhereveningroutinebyreplacing“brushingteeth”withrepeatingherpositiveaffirmations3timesbeforebed.Therestofthemorningandeveningroutineitemsshekeepsthesame.Step7–evaluateprogressandsetanewgoalorobjectiveforthenext5weeksAftercontinuingthisprocessfor5weeks,Jilldoesaself-evaluationtomeasureherprogress.Sheisdelightedtonoticethatshehasmadesomeimprovement.Sheeitherselectsanewobjectiveorchoosestocontinueworkingonthesameone,orperhapsbynowshehasaspecificgoalinmindthatshe’dliketoaccomplishandshe’sreadytobeginthenext5-weekcycle.

ThefollowingtwopagesshowJill’sfirstweeklyprogresschartfollowedbyhersecondweeklyprogresschart.

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Example:Jill’sweeklyprogresschartsample–Week1

Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) I will improve my relationship with myself/like myself Related SMART goal for this week I will choose 5 positive affirmation statements and post them I will report to _Amanda__ on (day/time) Sunday 8PM Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Read through affirmation examples in Pathway to Happiness. X

Search online for examples of positive affirmations X

Compile a list of affirmations that I like and seem to apply to my situation X

Narrow list down to 5 X

Print off a copy and tape them on my bathroom mirror X

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Get out of bed X X X X X X X

Get dressed and ready for the day X X X X X X

Calibrate body (chin up, smile on, shoulders back, etc.) for 60 sec X X X X X

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Brush teeth X X X X X X X

Write 2 sentences (or more) in a journal X X X X X

Take 5 slow, deep breaths X X X X X

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal. X

I achieved my SMART goal for the week. X

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week. X

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week. X

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach X

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Example:Jill’sweeklyprogresschartsample–Week2Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) I will improve my relationship with myself/like myself Related SMART goal for this week I will use tools to combat negative thinking at least 5 times I will report to _Amanda__ on (day/time) Sunday 8PM Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Read and review options of tools to combat negative thinking in Wellness Tool Kit X

Write and print out a reference list of tools X

Notice when I have negative thoughts about self X

Try using the tools if I catch myself having negative thoughts about self X

Try using the tools if I catch myself having negative thoughts about self X

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Repeat positive affirmations 3 times X X X X X

Get dressed and ready for the day X X X X X X X

Calibrate body (chin up, smile on, shoulders back, etc.) for 60 sec X X X X X

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Repeat positive affirmations 3 times X X X X X

Write 2 sentences (or more) in a journal X X X X X

Take 5 slow, deep breaths X X X X X

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal. X

I achieved my SMART goal for the week. X

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week. X

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week. X

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach X

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Choosingamentor/friend/accountabilitypartner/coachWorkingwithanotherpersonprovidesaccountabilityandgreatly improvesyour likelihoodofsuccess.Studiesshowthatknowingthatyouwillbereturningandreportingtosomeoneataspecifictimeonaspecificdaycanincreasethechanceofsuccessfrom10%upto95%.Enlistthehelpofaprofessionaloratrustedfriendasanaccountabilitypartnerormentor.Picksomeoneyoucantrusttoholdyoutoyourveryhigheststandard.Setadesignatedtimetoreturnandreporttoherorhim.Allowthismentororfriendtohelpyoumakeaplanofactionstepsandfollowupbyreturningandreportingtoyourmentororfriendonaregularbasis(dailyorweekly)throughtexting,email,phonecall,orvisit.

Anotetomentors:Thetimecommitmentforanaccountabilitycoachormentorisafewsecondsadayand/orafewminutesaweek.Amentordoesnotacceptresponsibilityforanotherperson’semotionalstateorfortheirdecisions.Amentorisnotapseudoprofessional.Anaccountabilitypartnerormentor’s job is simply toprovide regular accountability and followup. Amentorshouldnotask,“HowcanImakeyougetbetter?”or“HowcanIsolveyourproblems?”Amentorshouldask,“HowcanIsupportyouasyouworktowardsyourgoals?”

Anotherexample:Joechoosesanoverarchinggoalofdeclutteringandimprovingorganizationinhis life. Forhisweeklygoalhedecidestocleanoffthenightstandnexttohisbed. Forhismorningroutine,Joedecidedthathe’dliketomakehisbed,saypositiveaffirmationstatementsandgoforawalkeachmorning.Thenintheeveningbeforebedhewantstorepeathispositiveaffirmationstatements,writedown5thingshe’sgratefulfor,andmeditatefor10minutes.Joehas a chart tomarkdownwhetheror nothe’s done these things, but he knows that havinganotherlayerofaccountabilitywillhelphimstayontrack.

JoehasafriendnamedMarkthathetrusts.JoeshareshisgoalswithMarkandasksifhe’swillingtohelphimbeaccountable.Joefeelslikeheneedssomedailysupporttohelphimdevelopnewhabits.TogethertheydecidethatthebestplanfortheirbusyschedulesisforJoetosendatextsaying“Ididit”toMarkeachnightat9PMtosayhecompletedhismorningandeveningroutinefor the day and that he spent at least 15 minutes working on his goal of cleaning off hisnightstand.Markrespondswithasimplethumbsuporcommentlike“goodjob,keepupthegoodwork.”BecauseMarkreallycaresaboutJoe,healsoofferstohelpJoeatthebeginningofeach5weekcycleasheassesseshisprogressandcreatesnewgoals.

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WhatifIdon’tknowwheretostart?Ifyoudon’tknowwheretostart,agoodplacetobeginiswithsomethingphysical.Eitheryourphysicalselforthephysicalworldaroundyou.Choosesomethingwhereyoucanseeorfeeladifferenceinashortamountoftime.Thegeneralobjectivemightbetodeclutter,ortogetbetterorganized, or to improve physical health. Review the section under the heading “Physicalwellbeing” or choose an area in your home, car or office to clean and organize. Start withsomethingsmalllikeanightstandtableorasingledrawer.AnotherwaytoselectthenextSMARTgoalistolookaroundyouforunfinishedprojects.Istheresomethingthatyoustarted,buthaven’tcompleted?Whenprojectsarebig,setanamountoftime towork on the project for theweekly goal rather than setting a goal to complete theproject.Forexample,“Iwillworkon_________foranhourthisweek.”Andbreakthegoaldownfurtherintoactionsteps.Ifthegoalistoworkontheprojectforanhour,youcouldcreate3actionstepslikethis,“Iwillworkon________for20minutes.”Keepitsimpleandachievable.Wewantprogressandsuccess.Iftheprojectisn’tfinishedinaweek,simplyrolloverthegoaltothenextweek.Aphysicalgoalmightbetogoforawalk3timesduringtheweekorlearna2minutetaichiformordrink8glassesofwatereachdayfor5daysduringtheweek.Alwaysmakesuretogiveyourselfwiggleroom.Don’tsetagoalthatrequiresmorethan5daysduringaweek.Wedon’twanttofeeloverwhelmedandwe’renotlookingforperfection;we’rejustlookingforprogress.Progressequalssuccess.Please remember to write the goals in a SMART format. Make it SPECIFIC, MEASURABLE,ATTAINABLE,REALISTIC,andTIMELY.TroubleshootingIfyou’renotsucceedinginyourgoals,it’slikelythatthegoalsareeithertoolargeortheyhaven’tbeentranslated intoaSMARTform. Shake itoffandtryagain. Withpractice itwillbecomeeasier.RememberthatSMARTgoalsareSPECIFIC,MEASURABLE,ATTAINABLE,REALISTIC,andTIMELY.Choose weekly SMART goals that can be reasonably completed within a week taking intoconsiderationallyourregulardailyactivitiesandobligations.Rememberthatselectingaspecificnumberoftimesyouwilldosomethingorselectingaspecificamountoftime(orboth)helpsmakegoalsmoreattainable.

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Allowyourselfwiggleroom,don’tchoosesomethingthatyouhavetodoperfectlyeverydayinorder toachieveagoal. Ifyouchoosethenumberofdays/timesyouwilldosomething,5 isplenty.Ifyouremembertodoiteveryday,that’sabonus,but5successesinaweekisawesome.Manypeoplestrugglewithaconceptofduality:Ifit’snotperfectthenit’safailure.IfI’mnotperfect,thenI’mafailure.Itisonlyoneortheother,thereisnothinginbetween.Thattypeofthinkingleadstoalotoffrustration,becauseitexpectstheimpossible,andpracticallyguaranteesfailure.PathwaytoHappiness,isnotaboutsettingourselvesupforfailure,itisaboutrecognizing,creating, andbuilding upon success. We are not looking for perfection. We are looking forprogress.Writewhatyou“will”do,notwhatyou“won’tdo”A goal written in negative terms such as “I won’t use negative self-talk” is a recipe fordisappointment.Focusingonwhatwedon’twant,unfortunatelymakesusthinkmoreaboutitanddoitmorefrequently,ratherthanless.Writegoalsthatfocusonwhatyouwantratherthanwhatyoudon’twant.Abettergoalwouldbe“Iwillinterruptnegativeself-talkbyrepeatingmyaffirmationstatements.”Ifyoudiditatleastonetimeduringtheday,markyourchartthatyoudid it. Togoalongwiththatgoal, itwouldbeagood ideato includerepeatingyourpositiveaffirmationsinyourmorningandeveningroutines.Themorepositiveself-talk,thebetter.KeepthingssimpleItemsinthemorningandeveningroutineshouldbeeasyforyoutoaccomplish.Youcaneveninclude things that you’re already doing and give yourself credit for the good things you’realreadydoing.Asyougaininconfidence,youcanupgradeyourchoicesformorningandeveningroutinetobesomethingnew,butstilleasytoachieve.Consistencyisakeytosuccess.Ifit’stoohard, takes toomuch time,oryoudon’t like it, youwon’twant todo it. Therearesomanyoptions,there’snoneedtodosomethingthatmakesyoumiserable.Choosethingsthatwillnotonlymakeyoubetter,butthatyoualsoenjoy.It’sprettysimple,butovertime,thisprocessbringsaboutmagicalinternalchanges.

Moreexamples Thefollowingthreepagesshowadditionalexamplesofweeklyprogresscharts.

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Weeklyprogresschartsample-JoeOverarching goal or objective (5 weeks) Declutter/improve organization and order in my life Related SMART goal for this week I will clean off the nightstand next to my bed_________ I will report to Mark on (day/time) each night at 9 PM Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Spend 15 minutes cleaning off nightstand X

Spend 15 minutes cleaning off nightstand X

Spend 15 minutes cleaning off nightstand X

Spend 15 minutes cleaning off nightstand X

Spend 15 minutes cleaning off nightstand X

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Repeat positive affirmations 3 times X X X X X X

Make my bed X X X X X

Go for a walk X X X X X

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Repeat positive affirmations 3 times X X X X X X

Write 5 things I’m grateful for in a gratitude journal X X X X X

Meditate for 10 minutes X X X X X

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal. X

I achieved my SMART goal for the week. X

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week. X

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week. X

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach X

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Weeklyprogresschartsample-AnneOverarching goal or objective (5 weeks) I want to feel happier, I want to love my life______ Related SMART goal for this week Read 50 pages in the Pathway to Happiness workbook_____ I will report to Sandy on (day/time) Sunday at 7 PM Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Read 10 pages X

Read 10 pages X

Read 10 pages X

Read 10 pages X

Read 10 pages X

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Repeat positive affirmations 3 times X X X X X

Sing along to a positive upbeat song X X X X X

Spend 3 minutes looking at my vision board X X X X X

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Spend 3 minutes looking at my vision board X X X X X

Write 2 successes for the day X X X X X

Repeat positive affirmations 3 times X X X X X

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal. X

I achieved my SMART goal for the week. X

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week. X

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week. X

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach X

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Weeklyprogresschartsample-CoryOverarching goal or objective (5 weeks) I want to move forward and regain control_________ Related SMART goal for this week ___Journal to help find the root of the problem (3X) __ I will report to Brenda on (day/time) Saturday at 10 PM Daily action step to achieve goal (up to 3) Completed

Journal and/or energetic conversation X

Journal and/or energetic conversation X

Journal and/or energetic conversation X

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Pray X X X X X X

Read scriptures X X X X X

Repeat positive affirmations 3 times X X X X X

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Pray X X X X X X X

Write 2 successes for the day X X X X X

Repeat positive affirmations 3 times X X X X X X

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal. X

I achieved my SMART goal for the week. X

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week. X

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week. X

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach X

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Weeklyprogresschart1.1Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

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Weeklyprogresschart1.2Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

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Weeklyprogresschart1.3Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

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Weeklyprogresschart1.4Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

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Weeklyprogresschart1.5Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

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Self-evaluation 1

Rate yourself on the following statements on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 means “never” or “strongly disagree.” 5 means “sometimes” or “agree” and a 10 means “always” or “strongly agree.”

I like myself. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel worthy of love and belonging. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I present myself with confidence. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel hopeful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am resilient. I learn and grow from challenges and obstacles. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I smile often. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am positive and appreciative. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I do my best. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

My self-talk is positive. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel motivated and filled with energy. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel at peace with myself and those around me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel loved, valued and appreciated. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel connected to a few good people. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I love spending time with my family/friends. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I serve and lift others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I give genuine compliments to others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can forgive and let go of hurt. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can identify problems and look for solutions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel that my efforts make a difference. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I set effective goals and work to achieve them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel useful and successful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

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Reviewof5-weekunit

Theoverarchinggoal/objectivethatyou’vebeenworkingonforthepast5weeksDidyouachieveyourgoal?Didyoumakeprogresstowardsyourobjective?_______________List10successes/accomplishmentsthatyou’vehadduringthepast5weeks.______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

ListanyhabitsthatareNOTworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Listanyhabitsthatareworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Whatgoal/objectivedoyouwanttoachieve/worktowardduringthenext5weeks?

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

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Weeklyprogresschart2.1Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

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Weeklyprogresschart2.2Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

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Weeklyprogresschart2.3Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

78

Weeklyprogresschart2.4Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

79

Weeklyprogresschart2.5Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

80

Self-evaluation 2 Rate yourself on the following statements on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 means “never” or “strongly disagree.” 5 means “sometimes” or “agree” and a 10 means “always” or “strongly agree.”

I like myself. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel worthy of love and belonging. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I present myself with confidence. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel hopeful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am resilient. I learn and grow from challenges and obstacles. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I smile often. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am positive and appreciative. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I do my best. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

My self-talk is positive. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel motivated and filled with energy. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel at peace with myself and those around me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel loved, valued and appreciated. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel connected to a few good people. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I love spending time with my family/friends. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I serve and lift others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I give genuine compliments to others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can forgive and let go of hurt. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can identify problems and look for solutions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel that my efforts make a difference. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I set effective goals and work to achieve them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel useful and successful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

81

Reviewof5-weekunit

Theoverarchinggoal/objectivethatyou’vebeenworkingonforthepast5weeksDidyouachieveyourgoal?Didyoumakeprogresstowardsyourobjective?_______________List10successes/accomplishmentsthatyou’vehadduringthepast5weeks.______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

ListanyhabitsthatareNOTworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Listanyhabitsthatareworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Whatgoal/objectivedoyouwanttoachieve/worktowardduringthenext5weeks?

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

82

Weeklyprogresschart3.1Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

83

Weeklyprogresschart3.2Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

84

Weeklyprogresschart3.3Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

85

Weeklyprogresschart3.4Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

86

Weeklyprogresschart3.5Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

87

Self-evaluation 3

Rate yourself on the following statements on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 means “never” or “strongly disagree.” 5 means “sometimes” or “agree” and a 10 means “always” or “strongly agree.”

I like myself. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel worthy of love and belonging. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I present myself with confidence. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel hopeful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am resilient. I learn and grow from challenges and obstacles. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I smile often. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am positive and appreciative. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I do my best. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

My self-talk is positive. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel motivated and filled with energy. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel at peace with myself and those around me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel loved, valued and appreciated. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel connected to a few good people. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I love spending time with my family/friends. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I serve and lift others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I give genuine compliments to others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can forgive and let go of hurt. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can identify problems and look for solutions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel that my efforts make a difference. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I set effective goals and work to achieve them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel useful and successful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

88

Reviewof5-weekunit

Theoverarchinggoal/objectivethatyou’vebeenworkingonforthepast5weeksDidyouachieveyourgoal?Didyoumakeprogresstowardsyourobjective?_______________List10successes/accomplishmentsthatyou’vehadduringthepast5weeks.______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

ListanyhabitsthatareNOTworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Listanyhabitsthatareworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Whatgoal/objectivedoyouwanttoachieve/worktowardduringthenext5weeks?

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

89

Weeklyprogresschart4.1Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

90

Weeklyprogresschart4.2Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

91

Weeklyprogresschart4.3Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

92

Weeklyprogresschart4.4Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

93

Weeklyprogresschart4.5Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

94

Self-evaluation 4

Rate yourself on the following statements on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 means “never” or “strongly disagree.” 5 means “sometimes” or “agree” and a 10 means “always” or “strongly agree.”

I like myself. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel worthy of love and belonging. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I present myself with confidence. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel hopeful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am resilient. I learn and grow from challenges and obstacles. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I smile often. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am positive and appreciative. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I do my best. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

My self-talk is positive. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel motivated and filled with energy. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel at peace with myself and those around me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel loved, valued and appreciated. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel connected to a few good people. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I love spending time with my family/friends. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I serve and lift others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I give genuine compliments to others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can forgive and let go of hurt. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can identify problems and look for solutions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel that my efforts make a difference. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I set effective goals and work to achieve them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel useful and successful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

95

Reviewof5-weekunit

Theoverarchinggoal/objectivethatyou’vebeenworkingonforthepast5weeksDidyouachieveyourgoal?Didyoumakeprogresstowardsyourobjective?_______________List10successes/accomplishmentsthatyou’vehadduringthepast5weeks.______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

ListanyhabitsthatareNOTworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Listanyhabitsthatareworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Whatgoal/objectivedoyouwanttoachieve/worktowardduringthenext5weeks?

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

96

Weeklyprogresschart5.1Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

97

Weeklyprogresschart5.2Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

98

Weeklyprogresschart5.3Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

99

Weeklyprogresschart5.4Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

100

Weeklyprogresschart5.5Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

101

Self-evaluation 5

Rate yourself on the following statements on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 means “never” or “strongly disagree.” 5 means “sometimes” or “agree” and a 10 means “always” or “strongly agree.”

I like myself. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel worthy of love and belonging. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I present myself with confidence. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel hopeful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am resilient. I learn and grow from challenges and obstacles. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I smile often. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am positive and appreciative. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I do my best. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

My self-talk is positive. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel motivated and filled with energy. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel at peace with myself and those around me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel loved, valued and appreciated. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel connected to a few good people. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I love spending time with my family/friends. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I serve and lift others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I give genuine compliments to others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can forgive and let go of hurt. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can identify problems and look for solutions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel that my efforts make a difference. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I set effective goals and work to achieve them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel useful and successful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

102

Reviewof5-weekunit

Theoverarchinggoal/objectivethatyou’vebeenworkingonforthepast5weeksDidyouachieveyourgoal?Didyoumakeprogresstowardsyourobjective?_______________List10successes/accomplishmentsthatyou’vehadduringthepast5weeks.______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

ListanyhabitsthatareNOTworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Listanyhabitsthatareworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Whatgoal/objectivedoyouwanttoachieve/worktowardduringthenext5weeks?

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

103

Weeklyprogresschart6.1Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

104

Weeklyprogresschart6.2Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

105

Weeklyprogresschart6.3Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

106

Weeklyprogresschart6.4Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

107

Weeklyprogresschart6.5Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

108

Self-evaluation 6

Rate yourself on the following statements on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 means “never” or “strongly disagree.” 5 means “sometimes” or “agree” and a 10 means “always” or “strongly agree.”

I like myself. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel worthy of love and belonging. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I present myself with confidence. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel hopeful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am resilient. I learn and grow from challenges and obstacles. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I smile often. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am positive and appreciative. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I do my best. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

My self-talk is positive. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel motivated and filled with energy. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel at peace with myself and those around me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel loved, valued and appreciated. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel connected to a few good people. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I love spending time with my family/friends. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I serve and lift others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I give genuine compliments to others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can forgive and let go of hurt. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can identify problems and look for solutions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel that my efforts make a difference. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I set effective goals and work to achieve them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel useful and successful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

109

Reviewof5-weekunit

Theoverarchinggoal/objectivethatyou’vebeenworkingonforthepast5weeksDidyouachieveyourgoal?Didyoumakeprogresstowardsyourobjective?_______________List10successes/accomplishmentsthatyou’vehadduringthepast5weeks.______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

ListanyhabitsthatareNOTworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Listanyhabitsthatareworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Whatgoal/objectivedoyouwanttoachieve/worktowardduringthenext5weeks?

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

110

Weeklyprogresschart7.1Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

111

Weeklyprogresschart7.2Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

112

Weeklyprogresschart7.3Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

113

Weeklyprogresschart7.4Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

114

Weeklyprogresschart7.5Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

115

Self-evaluation 7

Rate yourself on the following statements on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 means “never” or “strongly disagree.” 5 means “sometimes” or “agree” and a 10 means “always” or “strongly agree.”

I like myself. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel worthy of love and belonging. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I present myself with confidence. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel hopeful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am resilient. I learn and grow from challenges and obstacles. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I smile often. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am positive and appreciative. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I do my best. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

My self-talk is positive. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel motivated and filled with energy. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel at peace with myself and those around me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel loved, valued and appreciated. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel connected to a few good people. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I love spending time with my family/friends. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I serve and lift others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I give genuine compliments to others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can forgive and let go of hurt. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can identify problems and look for solutions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel that my efforts make a difference. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I set effective goals and work to achieve them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel useful and successful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

116

Reviewof5-weekunit

Theoverarchinggoal/objectivethatyou’vebeenworkingonforthepast5weeksDidyouachieveyourgoal?Didyoumakeprogresstowardsyourobjective?_______________List10successes/accomplishmentsthatyou’vehadduringthepast5weeks.______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

ListanyhabitsthatareNOTworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Listanyhabitsthatareworkingforyou

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Whatgoal/objectivedoyouwanttoachieve/worktowardduringthenext5weeks?

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

117

Weeklyprogresschart8.1Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

118

Weeklyprogresschart8.2Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

119

Weeklyprogresschart8.3Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

120

Weeklyprogresschart8.4Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

121

Weeklyprogresschart8.5Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

122

Self-evaluation 8 Rate yourself on the following statements on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 means “never” or “strongly disagree.” 5 means “sometimes” or “agree” and a 10 means “always” or “strongly agree.”

I like myself. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel worthy of love and belonging. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I present myself with confidence. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel hopeful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am resilient. I learn and grow from challenges and obstacles. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I smile often. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am positive and appreciative. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I do my best. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

My self-talk is positive. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel motivated and filled with energy. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel at peace with myself and those around me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel loved, valued and appreciated. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel connected to a few good people. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I love spending time with my family/friends. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I serve and lift others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I give genuine compliments to others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can forgive and let go of hurt. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can identify problems and look for solutions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel that my efforts make a difference. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I set effective goals and work to achieve them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel useful and successful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

123

Reviewof5-weekunit

Theoverarchinggoal/objectivethatyou’vebeenworkingonforthepast5weeksDidyouachieveyourgoal?Didyoumakeprogresstowardsyourobjective?_______________List10successes/accomplishmentsthatyou’vehadduringthepast5weeks.______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

ListanyhabitsthatareNOTworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Listanyhabitsthatareworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Whatgoal/objectivedoyouwanttoachieve/worktowardduringthenext5weeks?

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

124

Weeklyprogresschart9.1Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

125

Weeklyprogresschart9.2Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

126

Weeklyprogresschart9.3Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

127

Weeklyprogresschart9.4Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

128

Weeklyprogresschart9.5Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

129

Self-evaluation 9 Rate yourself on the following statements on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 means “never” or “strongly disagree.” 5 means “sometimes” or “agree” and a 10 means “always” or “strongly agree.”

I like myself. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel worthy of love and belonging. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I present myself with confidence. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel hopeful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am resilient. I learn and grow from challenges and obstacles. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I smile often. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am positive and appreciative. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I do my best. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

My self-talk is positive. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel motivated and filled with energy. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel at peace with myself and those around me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel loved, valued and appreciated. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel connected to a few good people. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I love spending time with my family/friends. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I serve and lift others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I give genuine compliments to others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can forgive and let go of hurt. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can identify problems and look for solutions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel that my efforts make a difference. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I set effective goals and work to achieve them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel useful and successful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

130

Reviewof5-weekunit

Theoverarchinggoal/objectivethatyou’vebeenworkingonforthepast5weeksDidyouachieveyourgoal?Didyoumakeprogresstowardsyourobjective?_______________List10successes/accomplishmentsthatyou’vehadduringthepast5weeks.______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

ListanyhabitsthatareNOTworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Listanyhabitsthatareworkingforyou

______________________________________________________________________________

Whatgoal/objectivedoyouwanttoachieve/worktowardduringthenext5weeks?

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

131

Weeklyprogresschart10.1Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

132

Weeklyprogresschart10.2Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

133

Weeklyprogresschart10.3Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

134

Weeklyprogresschart10.4Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

135

Weeklyprogresschart10.5Overarching goal or objective (5 weeks) ______________________________________________ Related SMART goal for this week __________________________________________________ I will report to on (day/time) Daily action step to achieve goal Completed

Morning routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Evening routine M T W Th F Sa Su

Measuring weekly successes – I did it! Success!

I completed at least one action step (or more) towards reaching my goal.

I achieved my SMART goal for the week.

I completed my morning routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I completed my evening routine 5 times (or more) this week.

I “returned and reported” to my accountability partner/ mentor/ coach

136

Self-evaluation 10

Rate yourself on the following statements on a scale of 1 to 10. 1 means “never” or “strongly disagree.” 5 means “sometimes” or “agree” and a 10 means “always” or “strongly agree.”

I like myself. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel worthy of love and belonging. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I present myself with confidence. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel hopeful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am resilient. I learn and grow from challenges and obstacles. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I smile often. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I am positive and appreciative. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I do my best. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

My self-talk is positive. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel motivated and filled with energy. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel at peace with myself and those around me. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel loved, valued and appreciated. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel connected to a few good people. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I love spending time with my family/friends. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I serve and lift others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I give genuine compliments to others. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can forgive and let go of hurt. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I can identify problems and look for solutions. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel that my efforts make a difference. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I set effective goals and work to achieve them. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I feel useful and successful. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

137

Writeastoryordrawapictureofhowyouseeyourself.Includewhatyouthinkaboutyourself,whatyouthinkaboutotherpeople,andwhatyouthinkotherpeoplethinkaboutyou.Isthisstory/pictureanydifferentfromtheoneyouwrote/drewatthebeginning?Whatwouldyouliketodonext?Writeastoryordrawapictureofwhatyou’dliketobecome.Includewhatyou’dliketothinkaboutyourself,whatyou’dliketothinkaboutotherpeople,andwhatyou’dlikeotherpeoplethinkaboutyou.Whatwouldyouaccomplishifyoucoulddoanything?Whatwouldyourlifebelike?Whatwoulditlooklike?Whatwoulditfeellike?

Whatwillyoudotocontinueprogressingforward?WouldrepeatingthePathwaytoHappinessprogrambebeneficial?

138

ToolsbyTopicsWhatisitthatyouwanttobuildorimproveupon?Hereisalistofpossibletoolsthatmightbehelpfultohelpmeetaparticularobjective.Whatdoyouneedthemostrightnow?Whattoolwillbesthelpyouachieveit?Buildingself-esteemandconfidence/Empoweringandstrengthening

• 6-minutemorningroutine(SAVERS)p39• Alwaysdoyourbestp20• Bepreparedp19• Buildingresiliencep29• Calibrateyourbodyp48• Creatingavirtualshield29• Dancingp43• Embracewhateveritisyoulovep19• Gainingcontroloflifep36• Givegenuinecomplimentstoothersp18• Increasingourmoodandenergylevelthroughupbeatmusic41• Makeyourbedp36• Physicalactivityp43• Playtoyourstrengthsp18• Positiveaffirmationsanddeclarationsp23• Practiceappreciationp18• Presentyourselfwithconfidencep18• Protectandbuildself-esteemp17• Self-talkp20• Seteffectivegoalsandworktoachievethemp19• Singalongp42• Smile–evenwhenyoudon’tfeellikeitp48• Smileandlookpeopleintheeyep18• Spendmoretimeonmeaningfulconnections,lesstimeonlinep34• Successlistsp25• Visualizehappinessp24

Comfort/Coping

• Acceptyourimperfectionsp19• Allowyourselftofeelyouremotionsp31

139

• Battlethecycleofnegativethinkingwitha2-minutedistractionp27• Benefitsofpetsp53• Bettersleepp44• Buildingresiliencep29• Calibrateyourbodyp48• Checkyourperceptionp31• Combatlonelinessp34• Createacalmingbedtimeroutinep45• Creatingavirtualshieldp29• Dancingp43• Darkchocolatep51• Emotioncodeorbodycodep33• Foodaffectsfeelingsp50• Forgivenessp49• Getplentyofsunshinep46• Identifyandvalidatewhatyouarefeelingp30• Letitgop32• Meditationp52• Musicp41• Naturep52• Onestepatatimep27• Onetaskatatimep37• Positiveaffirmationsanddeclarationsp23• Protectandbuildself-esteemp17• Sadmusicalsohasausefulroleinhealingp42• Self-talkp20• Separatewhathappenedfromwhoyouarep31• Serviceandcompassionp53• Singalongp42• Smile–evenwhenyoudon’tfeellikeitp48• Staycalmwhenyouwakeupp47• Sticktoaregularsleepschedulep45• Turnyourbedroomintoasleephavenp45• Validateyourexperiencep30• Yoga,taichip52

140

Creatingconnections/focusingoutward/relationshipswithothers• Acceptdisapprovalp20• Acceptyourimperfectionsp19• Benefitsofpetsp53• Buildingresiliencep29• Connectthroughtraditions/ritualsp35• Embracewhateveritisyoulovep19• Forgivenessp49• Givegenuinecomplimentstoothersp18• Positiveaffirmationsanddeclarationsp23• Practiceappreciationp18• Presentyourselfwithconfidencep18• Protectandbuildself-esteemp17• Self-talkp20• Serviceandcompassionp53• Smile–evenwhenyoudon’tfeellikeitp48• Smileandlookpeopleintheeyep18• Spendmoretimeonmeaningfulconnections,lesstimeonlinep34

Easingburdens/becominglighter

• Acceptyourimperfectionsp19• Allowyourselftofeelyouremotionsp31• Battlethecycleofnegativethinkingwitha2-minutedistractionp27• Benefitsofpetsp53• Bettersleepp44• Buildingresiliencep29• Calibrateyourbodyp48• Checkyourperceptionp31• Combatlonelinessp34• Connectthroughtraditions/ritualsp35• Createacalmingbedtimeroutinep45• Creatingavirtualshieldp29• Darkchocolatep51• Declutteringourhomes,declutteringourlivesp36• Donateitemstogoodwillp37

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• Emotioncodeorbodycodep33• Energeticorcompleteconversationsp33• Forgivenessp49• Letitgop32• Musicp41• Naturep52• Onestepatatimep27• Positiveaffirmationsanddeclarationsp23• Sadmusicalsohasausefulroleinhealingp42• Seekprofessionalhelpp12• Self-talkp20• Separatewhathappenedfromwhoyouarep31• Singalongp42• Sortyouremailinboxp38• Turnyourbedroomintoasleephavenp45• Useagoalsettingappp16• Usejournalingtoidentifytheproblemp25• Validateyourexperiencep30• Wheretofindhelpp12• Writtenrantandreleasep26• Yoga,taichip52

Moodboosters/motivation

• 6-minutemorningroutine(SAVERS)p39• Alwaysdoyourbestp20• Bepreparedp19• Calibrateyourbodyp48• Dancingp43• Eatwellandavoidstimulatingsubstancesp46• Embracewhateveritisyoulovep19• Foodaffectsfeelingsp50• Getplentyofsunshinep46• Givegenuinecomplimentstoothersp18• Increasingourmoodandenergylevelthroughupbeatmusicp41• Makeyourbedp36• Morningroutinep6• Musicp41• Naturep52

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• Physicalactivityp43• Positiveaffirmationsanddeclarationsp23• Presentyourselfwithconfidencep18• Protectandbuildself-esteemp17• Self-talkp20• Serviceandcompassionp53• Singalongp42• Smile–evenwhenyoudon’tfeellikeitp48• Smileandlookpeopleintheeyep18• Successlistsp25• Visualizehappinessp24

Movingforward/regainingcontrol

• 6-minutemorningroutine(SAVERS)p39• Acceptyourimperfectionsp19• Allowyourselftofeelyouremotionsp31• Alwaysdoyourbestp20• Battlethecycleofnegativethinkingwitha2-minutedistractionp27• Bepreparedp19• Buildingresiliencep29• Calibrateyourbodyp48• Declutteringourhomes,declutteringourlivesp36• Donateitemstogoodwillp37• Embracewhateveritisyoulovep19• Forgivenessp49• Gainingcontroloflifep36• Gettingtotherootoftheproblemp25• Intentionplushappinessleadstomanifestationp38• Letitgop32• Makeachoicetodosomethingaboutitp14• Makeyourbedp36• Morningroutinep6• Onestepatatimep27• Onetaskatatimep37• Physicalactivityp43• Playtoyourstrengthsp18• Positiveaffirmationsanddeclarationsp23• Presentyourselfwithconfidencep18

143

• Protectandbuildself-esteemp17• Returnandreportp15• Self-talkp20• Separatewhathappenedfromwhoyouarep31• Serviceandcompassionp53• Seteffectivegoalsandworktoachievethemp19• Singalongp42• Smile–evenwhenyoudon’tfeellikeitp48• Smileandlookpeopleintheeyep18• Sortyouremailinboxp38• Spendmoretimeonmeaningfulconnections,lesstimeonlinep34• Successlistsp25• Thepowerofrepetitionp21• Useagoalsettingappp16• Usejournalingtoidentifytheproblemp25• Visionboardsp38• Visualizehappinessp24• Wheretofindhelpp12• Writtenrantandreleasep26

Overcomingloneliness

• Acceptdisapprovalp20• Acceptyourimperfectionsp19• Allowyourselftofeelyouremotionsp31• Alwaysdoyourbestp20• Battlethecycleofnegativethinkingwitha2-minutedistractionp27• Benefitsofpetsp53• Bettersleepp44• Buildingresiliencep29• Calibrateyourbodyp48• Checkyourperceptionp31• Combatlonelinessp34• Connectthroughtraditions/ritualsp35• Creatingavirtualshieldp29• Darkchocolatep51• Embracewhateveritisyoulovep19• Forgivenessp49• Givegenuinecomplimentstoothersp18

144

• Identifyandvalidatewhatyouarefeelingp30• Makeachoicetodosomethingaboutitp14• Musicp41• Naturep52• Positiveaffirmationsanddeclarationsp23• Practiceappreciationp18• Presentyourselfwithconfidencep18• Protectandbuildself-esteemp17• Sadmusicalsohasausefulroleinhealingp42• Self-talkp20• Serviceandcompassionp53• Singalongp42• Smile–evenwhenyoudon’tfeellikeitp48• Smileandlookpeopleintheeyep18• Spendmoretimeonmeaningfulconnections,lesstimeonlinep34

Overcomingnegativeself-talk/relationshipwithself

• Acceptdisapprovalp20• Acceptyourimperfectionsp19• Allowyourselftofeelyouremotionsp31• Alwaysdoyourbestp20• Battlethecycleofnegativethinkingwitha2-minutedistractionp27• Buildingresiliencep29• Calibrateyourbodyp48• Checkyourperceptionp31• Connectthroughtraditions/ritualsp35• Creatingavirtualshieldp29• Embracewhateveritisyoulovep19• Forgivenessp49• Gainingcontroloflifep36• Gettingtotherootoftheproblemp25• Givegenuinecomplimentstoothersp18• Identifyandvalidatewhatyouarefeelingp30• Increasingourmoodandenergylevelthroughupbeatmusicp41• Letitgop32• Makeachoicetodosomethingaboutitp14• Positiveaffirmationsanddeclarationsp23

145

• Practiceappreciationp18• Presentyourselfwithconfidencep18• Protectandbuildself-esteemp17• Sadmusicalsohasausefulroleinhealingp42• Self-talkp20• Separatewhathappenedfromwhoyouarep31• Serviceandcompassionp53• Singalongp42• Smile–evenwhenyoudon’tfeellikeitp48• Successlistsp25• Thepowerofrepetitionp21• Usejournalingtoidentifytheproblemp25• Validateyourexperiencep30• Visualizehappinessp24• Writtenrantandreleasep26

Physicalwell-being/improvingsleep

• 6-minutemorningroutine(SAVERS)p39• Acceptyourimperfectionsp19• Alwaysdoyourbestp20• Benefitsofpetsp53• Bettersleepp44• Calibrateyourbodyp48• CPAPtherapyforthosewithsleepapneap47• Createacalmingbedtimeroutinep45• Dancingp43• Darkchocolatep51• Declutteringourhomes,declutteringourlivesp36• Eatwellandavoidstimulatingsubstancesp46• Foodaffectsfeelingsp50• Getplentyofsunshinep46• Increasingourmoodandenergylevelthroughupbeatmusicp41• Keepasleepdiaryp44• Keepinghydratedwithplentyofwaterp51• Makeachoicetodosomethingaboutitp14• Makeyourbedp36• Medicationp13• Morningroutinep6

146

• Musicp41• Naturep52• Physicalactivityp43• Presentyourselfwithconfidencep18• Protectandbuildself-esteemp17• Seteffectivegoalsandworktoachievethemp19• Smile–evenwhenyoudon’tfeellikeitp48• Smileandlookpeopleintheeyep18• Staycalmwhenyouwakeupp47• Sticktoaregularsleepschedulep45• Turnyourbedroomintoasleephavenp45• Yoga,taichip52

Problemsolving/Improvingclarification

• 6-minutemorningroutine(SAVERS)p39• Battlethecycleofnegativethinkingwitha2-minutedistractionp27• Bepreparedp19• Buildingresiliencep29• Checkyourperceptionp31• Createacalmingbedtimeroutinep45• Declutteringourhomes,declutteringourlivesp36• Emotioncodeorbodycodep33• Energeticorcompleteconversationsp33• Forgivenessp49• Gainingcontroloflifep36• Gettingtotherootoftheproblemp25• Identifyandvalidatewhatyouarefeelingp30• Keepasleepdiaryp44• Letitgop32• Makeachoicetodosomethingaboutitp14• Makeyourbedp36• Onestepatatimep27• Onetaskatatimep37• Playtoyourstrengthsp18• Positiveaffirmationsanddeclarationsp23• Protectandbuildself-esteemp17• Returnandreportp15• Seekprofessionalhelpp12

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• Self-talkp20• Seteffectivegoalsandworktoachievethemp19• Sortyouremailinboxp38• Successlistsp25• Thepowerofrepetitionp21• Useagoalsettingappp16• Usejournalingtoidentifytheproblemp25• Visionboardsp38• Wheretofindhelpp12• Writtenrantandreleasep26

Resilience(Bouncingbackfromfailureandrejection)

• 6-minutemorningroutine(SAVERS)p39• Acceptdisapprovalp20• Acceptyourimperfectionsp19• Allowyourselftofeelyouremotionsp31• Alwaysdoyourbestp20• Battlethecycleofnegativethinkingwitha2-minutedistractionp27• Bepreparedp19• Benefitsofpetsp53• Bettersleepp44• Buildingresiliencep29• Calibrateyourbodyp48• Checkyourperceptionp31• Combatlonelinessp34• Connectthroughtraditions/ritualsp35• Creatingavirtualshieldp29• Darkchocolatep51• Energeticorcompleteconversationsp33• Forgivenessp49• Givegenuinecomplimentstoothersp18• Identifyandvalidatewhatyouarefeelingp30• Increasingourmoodandenergylevelthroughupbeatmusicp41• Letitgop32• Makeyourbedp36• Naturep52• Onestepatatimep27

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• Onetaskatatimep37• Playtoyourstrengthsp18• Positiveaffirmationsanddeclarationsp23• Practiceappreciationp18• Presentyourselfwithconfidencep18• Protectandbuildself-esteemp17• Sadmusicalsohasausefulroleinhealingp42• Self-talkp20• Separatewhathappenedfromwhoyouarep31• Serviceandcompassionp53• Singalongp42• Smile–evenwhenyoudon’tfeellikeitp48• Smileandlookpeopleintheeyep18• Successlistsp25• Thepowerofrepetitionp21• Usejournalingtoidentifytheproblemp25• Validateyourexperiencep30• Visionboardsp38• Visualizehappinessp24• Writtenrantandreleasep26• Yoga,taichip52

Wellnesstoolsinalphabeticalorder

• 6minutemorningroutinep39• Acceptdisapprovalp20• Acceptyourimperfectionsp19• Allowyourselftofeelyouremotionsp31• Alwaysdoyourbestp20• Andagain…p9• Battlethecycleofnegativethinkingwitha2-minutedistractionp27• Bepreparedp19• Benefitsofpetsp53• Bettersleepp44• Breakingitdownintoactionstepsp6• Buildingresiliencep29• Calibrateyourbodyp48• Checkyourperceptionp31• Combatlonelinessp34

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• Connectionsthroughtraditions/ritualsp35• CPAPtherapyforthosewithsleepapneap47• Createacalmingbedtimeroutinep45• Creatingavirtualshieldp29• Dancingp43• Darkchocolatep51• Declutteringourhomes,declutteringourlivesp36• Donateitemstogoodwillp37• Eatwellandavoidstimulatingsubstancesp46• Embracewhateveritisyoulovep19• Emotioncodeorbodycodep33• Energeticorcompleteconversationsp33• Foodaffectsfeelingsp50• Forgivenessp49• Gainingcontroloflifep36• Getplentyofsunshinep46• Gettingtotherootoftheproblemp25• Givegenuinecomplimentstoothersp18• Giveyourselfsomewiggleroom-wedon’tneedperfection,justprogressp7• Identifyandvalidatewhatyouarefeelingp30• Increasingourmoodandenergylevelthroughupbeatmusicp41• Intentionplushappinessleadstomanifestationp38• Intermediategoalsp5• Keepasleepdiaryp44• Keepinghydratedwithplentyofwaterp51• Laughter28• Letitgop32• Makeachoicetodosomethingaboutitp14• Makeyourbedp36• Medicationp13• Meditationp52• Morningroutineandeveningroutinep6• Musicp41• Naturep52• Onestepatatimep27• Onetaskatatimep37• Overviewp10

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• Physicalactivityp43• Playtoyourstrengthsp18• Positiveaffirmationsanddeclarationsp23• Practiceappreciationp18• Presentyourselfwithconfidencep18• Progressivehealingp5• Protectandbuildself-esteemp17• Returnandreportp15• Sadmusicalsohasausefulroleinhealingp42• Seekprofessionalhelpp12• Self-talkp20• Separatewhathappenedfromwhoyouarep31• Serviceandcompassionp53• Seteffectivegoalsandworktoachievethemp19• Singalongp42• SMARTsteppingstonegoalsp5• Smile-evenwhenyoudon’tfeellikeitp48• Smileandlookpeopleintheeyep18• Sortyouremailinboxp38• Spendmoretimeonmeaningfulconnections,lesstimeonlinep34• Staycalmwhenyouwakeupp47• Sticktoaregularsleepschedulep45• Successlistsp25• Thepowerofrepetitionp21• Troubleshootingp10• Turnyourbedroomintoasleephavenp45• Useagoalsettingappp16• UsejournalingtoIdentifytheproblemp25• Validateyourexperiencep30• Visionboardsp38• Visualizehappinessp24• WhatifIdon’tknowwheretostart?P9• WheretoFindHelpp12• Writtenrantandreleasep26• Yoga,taichip52

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AdditionalinformationAdditional weekly charts and self-evaluation forms are available to download for free athttps://hopeforhealingfoundation.com/.Ifyouhavefoundthiswellnesstoolkithelpfulandwouldliketopayitforward,pleaseconsidermaking a donation of $5 or more to Hope For Healing athttps://hopeforhealingfoundation.com/.100%ofyourdonationgoesdirectlytowardshelpingthoseinneed.Resources for Pathway to Happiness: A Wellness Tool Kit “11 Easy Ways to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem.” Coaching Positive Performance, 11 Apr. 2018, www.coachingpositiveperformance.com/11-easy-ways-build-self-confidence. [14], [16] Adamowicz , Michael W. “Treatment: When To Seek Professional Help And Where To Find Help For Major Depression.” MentalHelp.net, Mentalhelp.net, 5 June 2017, www.mentalhelp.net/articles/treatment-when-to-seek-professional-help-and-where-to-find-help-for-major-depression. [3], [5] AJ. “3 Most Powerful Paulo Coelho Quotes You Must Understand to Make Your Dreams Come True.” Awesome AJ, 2 Dec. 2017, awesomeaj.com/2015/04/03/paulo-coelho-quotes-you-must-understand-to-make-your-dreams-come-true. [64] Alton, Larry. “Why Clutter Is Killing Your Focus -- and How to Fix It Fast.” NBCNews.com, NBCUniversal News Group, 22 June 2017, www.nbcnews.com/better/health/why-clutter-killing-your-focus-how-fix-it-ncna775531. [60], [61], [62] Andrews, Linda Wasmer. “Good Posture May Ease Symptoms of Depression.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 30 Jan. 2017, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/minding-the-body/201701/good-posture-may-ease-symptoms-depression. [81] Bjork, Linda. “Two Good Things.” Two Good Things, Bjork Family Blog, 2017, www.twogoodthings.net/. [56] Boothby, Suzanne. “How Does Music Affect Your Mood and Emotions.” Healthline, Healthline Media, 13 Apr. 2017, www.healthline.com/health-news/mental-listening-to-music-lifts-or-reinforces-mood-051713. [68], [69]

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