Parents’ Pupu Platter

Parents’ Pupu PlatterParents’ Pupu Platter

An OHA Parenting ProjectAn OHA Parenting Project


Session Two:

Communicating Effectively with Your Child—Building Relationships and Setting

Boundaries

‘‘Ōlelo No‘eauŌlelo No‘eau

He ‘a‘ali‘i ku makani mai au; ‘a‘ohe makani nana e kula‘i.

I am a wind resisting ‘a‘ali‘i. No gale can push me over.

I can hold my own in the face of difficulties.

Session ObjectivesSession Objectives

Topics covered in this session will help you:Topics covered in this session will help you:

use key verbal strategies to set expectations and resolve conflicts with your child.

identify verbal and nonverbal communication skills that support relationship building.

identify key community resources available for family and parenting support.

Ground RulesGround Rules

•Privacy

•Respect

Spaghetti TowerSpaghetti Tower

The Spaghetti TowerThe Spaghetti Tower

0:00–2:00 minutesYou can speak to each other, but you CANNOT touch the materials

2:01–6:00 minutesYou can touch the materials, but you CANNOT speak to each other

Your challenge:Build the tallest free standing spaghetti tower

The Spaghetti TowerThe Spaghetti Tower

1) What was the easiest part of this activity?

2) What was the most frustrating?

3) How did you communicate without words?

4) Did group members respond differently?

5) How do you feel about your team’s tower?

CommunicationCommunication

Practice on easy messages

Practical Communication TipsPractical Communication Tips



Make sure someone’s home




Encourage reflection & expression





Use public and private comments wisely




Use public and private comments wisely


Understand and avoid the coercive cycle

The Coercive CycleThe Coercive Cycle

Adult makes requestAdult makes request

Child reacts with hostilityChild reacts with hostility

Adult reacts with Adult reacts with hostilityhostility

or withdrawsor withdraws

Child doesn’t do what Child doesn’t do what was askedwas asked

Respond

Prevent

Monitor

Mentor

RPM3RPM3

Model

1) Respond1) Respond——Don’t ReactDon’t React

RESPONDRESPOND

1) Respond1) Respond——Don’t ReactDon’t React

RESPONDRESPOND

2) Respond Appropriately2) Respond Appropriately

1) Learn To Spot Possible Problems1) Learn To Spot Possible Problems

PREVENTPREVENT

1) Learn To Spot Possible Problems1) Learn To Spot Possible Problems

PREVENTPREVENT

2) Learn To Work through Problems2) Learn To Work through Problems

1) Be Aware1) Be Aware

MONITORMONITOR

1) Be Aware1) Be Aware

MONITORMONITOR

2) Set Limits2) Set Limits——Don’t Be Too RigidDon’t Be Too Rigid

1) Guide.1) Guide.

MENTORMENTOR

1) Guide.1) Guide.

MENTORMENTOR

2) Work together.2) Work together.

1) Do as you say1) Do as you say

MODELMODEL

ANDAND say as you do. say as you do.

1) Do as you say1) Do as you say

MODELMODEL

2) Perfection 2) Perfection IS NOTIS NOT the goal. the goal.

ANDAND say as you do. say as you do.

1) Love/Support1) Love/Support

The Biggest MessagesThe Biggest Messages

2) Try2) Try & Try Again& Try Again & Again& Again & Again& Again

ActivityActivity

Personal ReflectionPersonal Reflection

Small GroupSmall Group

Small GroupSmall Group

1. What was one of your biggest discoveries so far?

2. Looking back, what personality traits did you see as your group communicated to build your spaghetti tower?

3. What is a communication challenge in your family? Brainstorm with others on how you can address the challenge.

HaHa‘‘ilonoilono

Ha‘ilono: Telling the NewsHa‘ilono: Telling the News

•What were common themes you What were common themes you discovered within your group?discovered within your group?

•Did your group have any “a-ha” Did your group have any “a-ha” moments?moments?

Community ResourcesCommunity Resources

Closing/EvaluationClosing/Evaluation


Session Two:

Communicating Effectively with Your Child—Building Relationships and Setting

Boundaries

Documents

Parents’ Pupu Platter