Parent Training and Information

For Families of Children with Disabilities

Bullying – Recognition and Intervention

Presenter: Jennifer Miller

©2003 • PACER

DEFINING BULLYING BEHAVIOR

“Bullying among children is commonly defined as intentional, repeated, hurtful acts, words or

other behavior, such as name-calling, threatening and/or shunning committed

by one or more children against another.”

U.S. Department of Education Bullying Prevention Manual

©2003 • PACER

Three Areas of Concern to Parents and Others:

1.Education – School avoidance and loss of academic achievement2.Health – Physical and emotional3.Safety – Harm to self and others

The Impact of Bullying

©2003 • PACER

Types of Bullying

• Physical• Verbal• Emotional (Social)• Sexual• Cyber

©2003 • PACER

• Hitting, kicking, pushing, pulling hair, spitting on

• Taking property• Damaging property• Forced or unwelcome contact• Perceived intent to harm

Types of Bullying—Physical

©2003 • PACER

Types of Bullying—Verbal

• Teasing with the intent to hurt/harm• Name calling• Threats against the target• Intimidation• Demeaning jokes, stories or remarks

about another’s differences• Gossiping• Spreading rumors that hurt

one’s reputation

©2003 • PACER

Types of Bullying—Emotional

• Alienation or exclusion from groups• Manipulation done to harm

acceptance into groups• Damage to reputation• Public humiliation• Creating a sense of unease for

the target

• Sexually charged comments • Inappropriate or lewd glances• Inappropriate physical contact• Exhibitionism• Sexual assault

Types of Bullying—Sexual

©2003 • PACER

Types of Bullying—Cyber

• Sending hurtful, rude, or mean text messages to others

• Spreading rumors or lies via email or on social networks

• Creating websites, videos, or social media profiles that embarrass, humiliate, or make fun of others

©2003 • PACER

Types of Bullying—Cyber

• Bullying online is VERY different from face-to-face bullying because messages and images can be: Sent 24 hours a day, 7 days a

week, 365 days a year Shared to a very wide audience Sent anonymously

©2003 • PACER

Common Views and Myths

• Kids will be kids• Bullying is a natural part of childhood• Sticks and stones…words will never

hurt you• Some people deserve to be bullied• Bullying makes kids tougher• It’s only teasing or joking• Telling a teacher about bullying is

“tattling”

©2003 • PACER

Who is a Bully?

• Bullies can come in all shapes, sizes, races, and gender

• The most common characteristic of children who bully – they seek to demonstrate POWER. The bully is physically, socially or psychologically more powerful than the victim.

©2003 • PACER

Other Characteristics

• Likes control• Enjoys causing pain• Lacks compassion, empathy, and

understanding for others’ feelings• Unwilling to accept responsibility for

their actions; Lacks guilt• Can be frustrated, anxious, or even

be bullied themselves

©2003 • PACER

Who is a Target?

There is no “typical profile” of someone who might be subjected to bullying. It could be:

•Doesn’t fit in•Physically weak•Physical appearance•Good grades/bad grades•Behaviors•Alone or isolated•Passive/insecure•Different from the “norm” for any number of reasons

When Should Bullying Behaviors Be Addressed?

• Bullying behaviors should be addressed BEFORE it interferes with the health, academics, or learning process of a student.

©2003 • PACER

Reactions and Responses

When a parent or caregiver discovers their child is being bullied, they may feel a variety of emotions. These may include disbelief, fear, sadness, guilt, anger, helplessness, and they might ask “Why?”

It’s important to move from “Why?” to an action plan immediately.

©2003 • PACER

Talk with Children about Bullying

• Listen• Believe• Be supportive• Be patient• Provide information• Explore options for

intervention strategies

64% of children who were bullied did not

report it; only 36% reported bullying (Petrosino 2010)

©2003 • PACER

Why Some Children Might Not Tell

• Fear an “overreaction”

• Feel judged

• Feel embarrassed

• Find it hard to talk about anything

• Feel ashamed

• Feel responsible

• Think it does no good

• Worry they won’t be protected

• Think it’s not macho; Feel weak

• Decide adults don’t care

©2003 • PACER

Reactions to Avoid

• Telling your child to stand up to the bully

• Telling your child to ignore and avoid the bully

• Taking matters into your own hands

WHY? Because we need to work TOGETHER to stop bullying

©2003 • PACER

Questions to Ask Your Child

• Did the other child hurt you on purpose?

• Was it done more than once?

• How did it make you feel? (sad, scared, angry?)

• Did it make you feel unsafe?

• Is the other child stronger or more powerful than you in some way? (physically, socially, etc…)

(Adapted from Your Child: Bully or Victim? Understanding and Ending Schoolyard Tyranny” Peter Sheras, Ph.D., 2002)

©2003 • PACER

Keep a Record

• Who is doing the bullying?• What happened? Was it verbal, physical,

sexual, or cyber-bullying?• What days and times were you bullied?• Where did the bullying take place?• How did you respond to the bullying? • Did any other children or adults observe the

bullying? If so, what are the names of these people?

*Parents should contact school staff each time your child informs you that he or she has been bullied

Encourage Self-advocacy

Provide your child with affirmations that:

•You are not alone

•It is not up to you to stop the bullying

•Bullying happens to a lot of kids, but that NEVER makes it right

•No one deserves to be bullied, everyone deserves respect

•You have a right to be safe at school

•We all need to work together

©2003 • PACER

Discuss Intervention and Response Strategies

• Don’t bring expensive items to school• Avoid unsupervised areas• Exhibit confidence• Avoid being isolated• Ask the bully to stop• Educate the bully• Do something the bully would not anticipate such

as using humor to laugh it off or agree with the bully

• Know when to ‘walk away’ when your strategy is not working

• Always Report It!

©2003 • PACER

Be An Active Bystander

Bystanders can become part of the problem unless they are ACTIVE bystanders.

Active bystanders can help by:•Spending time with the student being bullied•Trying to get the student away from the situation•Listening to the student being bullied•Telling the student that no one deserves to be bullied

©2003 • PACER

Bullying and Children With Disabilities

Bullying of children with disabilities is significant, although few studies exist to document it.

The studies that have been published found that children with disabilities were two to three times more likely to be bullied than their nondisabled peers.

This is why it’s important to:•Teach self-advocacy skills•Help children understand their disability•Encourage social development and peer involvement, and build support systems•AND know the law and school policies

©2003 • PACER

Dear Colleague Letter 2000

Dear Colleague Letter dated July 25th, 2000:

•A letter from the OCR and the Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services (OSERS) in the U.S Department of Education that says, “States and school districts also have a responsibility under Section 504, Title II, and the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), which is enforced by OSERS to ensure that a free appropriate public education (FAPE) is made available to eligible students with disabilities. Disability harassment may result in a denial of FAPE under these statutes.”

©2003 • PACER

Dear Colleague Letter 2010

Dear Colleague Letter dated October 26th, 2010:

•A letter from the Department of Education’s (ED) Office for Civil Rights (OCR) stating that bullying may also be considered harassment when it is based on a student’s race, color, national origin, sex, or disability

©2003 • PACER

Dear Colleague Letter 2013

Dear Colleague Letter dated August 20th, 2013:

•A letter from the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services (OSERS) that was issued to provide an overview of a school district’s responsibilities under I.D.E.A. to address bullying of student’s with disabilities.

©2003 • PACER

How Can Parents Address Bullying At School?

• Keep a written record• Practice ways for the child to respond to bullying• Notify school administrators• Review the school district’s written policies on

bullying and harassment• Review the laws on bullying and harassment • If the child has a 504 or IEP, bullying can be

addressed in the educational plan by developing interventions and action plans to help prevent and intervene against bullying

©2003 • PACER

• Parents can take an active role in their child’s school.

• Ask what can be done so their child can feel safe in school and in his/her every day life.

• Promote change in the school (safety and well-being).

Parent Involvement

Seek the Help of Professionals

Professionals may offer support, advice, and information to assist parents in determining the best intervention to stop a child from being a target of bullying.

©2003 • PACER

Respond on the Spot

Adults need to respond quickly and consistently to bullying behavior. Some steps adults can take are:

•Intervene immediately. Get another adult to help out if/when needed•Separate the students involved •Make sure everyone is safe•Attend to any immediate medical or mental health needs•Stay calm. Reassure the students involved, including bystanders•Model respectful behavior (stopbullying.gov)

©2003 • PACER

Respond on the Spot

Things adults should avoid doing:

•Don’t ignore it•Don’t immediately try to sort out the facts•Don’t force other kids to say publicly what they saw•Don’t question the children involved in front of other kids•Don’t talk to the kids involved together, only separately•Don’t make the kids involved apologize or patch up relations on the spot

(stopbullying.gov)

©2003 • PACER

For more information on how to recognize and stop bullying, please visit these websites:

www.pacer.org/bullyingwww.stopbullying.gov

Bullying Information

©2003 • PACER

• Evaluations• Thank you so much for

attending this presentation!• Contact PTI anytime if you

have any questions or concerns

Thank You!