PACS 3700/COMM 3700Communication & Conflict

Management

Aug. 25 & 27, 2015Welcome and Introductions

First Things

• Who I am -Heidi Burgess – ½ of “Guidy” Burgess (+ more)

• Who are you?– Rosters (waitlist)– Name tents– Pictures– Introductory (baseline) questionnaire

This class…is about

CONFLICT

What causes it.What causes it.What causes it.What causes it. How to prevent it.How to prevent it.How to prevent it.How to prevent it. How you solve it. How you solve it. How you solve it. How you solve it.

Theory + Practice

TheoryTheorySkillsSkills

CommunicationCommunication

Conflict Assessment

Conflict Assessment NegotiationNegotiation

Third PartyThird Party

SkillsSkillsExperiential and

Interactive

Experiential and

Interactive

Interactive Lectures

Interactive Lectures

Listen Listen

TalkTalk

ThinkThink

Group WorkGroup Work

Listen Listen

Think Think

TalkTalk

First Group!• Groups of 3 or 4• Choose a “recorder”• Introductions – write down people’s names• Record answer to this question:“What other words come to mind when I say “this

class is about

CONFLICT.”

Rules for groups (ALL GROUPS)

• Don’t stop!• If you think you are “done”… try to make your

list longer.• Try to think of more details or more creative

ideas.• Good grades go to groups that have longest

lists, most creative ideas.

Rules for groups (ALL GROUPS)

• PS – listen to and follow directions.• Be respectful—it’s okay to disagree—write

both views down!

First Group!

Count + and – Words—

and ??? words

Count + and – Words—

and ??? words

Discuss—what does that mean?

Discuss—what does that mean?

Why does this

matter?

Why does this

matter? We’ll come back to this

in a bit…

We’ll come back to this

in a bit…

Things you need to know.

2 homepages: one on D2L:

One on the PACS site

Both home pages have basic course info:

• My contact info• Important dates (tests and assignments)• “Textbook” information• Grade information• Course Policies(All the stuff that doesn’t change.)

Both home pages also link to

The course schedule and online syllabus page.

•This is where you find each week’s – Readings– Writing assignments – Power points (usually posted before class)– Handouts (usually posted before class)

For the first three weeks,

• This page is free.• Starting week 4, you need a user name and

password, which you get by buying a blue voucher.– FILL IT OUT– TEAR OFF THE STUB– GIVE IT TO ME– BEFORE THURSDAY OF NEXT WEEK (JAN 22)

Full Online Textbook (Password Access only)

Temporary Syllabus looks almost the same.

These links are all found on D2L.

PACS HP

PACS HP

3 W

eek

sche

dule

3 W

eek

sche

dule

FULL

TE

XT-

BOOK

& SC

HEDULE

FULL

TE

XT-

BOOK

& SC

HEDULE

Temporary page has:

• Readings and assignments for 1st 3 weeks with working links and ppts.

• Readings and assignments for weeks 4-15—but without working links and ppts.

• Buy the voucher by week 3 to get access to the rest of the semester’s readings, powerpoints, videos, etc!!

Collapsing and Expanding the D2L Homepage

Other things:

Workload:•20-50 pp reading/week•2 midterms and a final (all essay)•6 written assignments (3 little, 2 medium, 1 big) (Big one is a group assignment)•In-class activities

Important IN-CLASS policies

• Come prepared• Listen! Think! Engage!• No electronics!! (See

http://www.vox.com/2014/6/4/5776804/note-taking-by-hand-versus-laptop)

• Speak! (Actively participate!)• Be respectful.

Attendance Policy

• #1 Attendance is your choice. I don’t take attendance. (I do grade group activities, however = 10% of total grade.)

• Please don’t come sick—make up activities can be provided for illness or other excused absences.

• Everyone gets to drop their lowest 2 group scores (that’s 2 “free” absences.)

Expectations for Thursday:

Other Important policies

• Class Make ups• Late penalties

See the homepag

e!!!

See the homepag

e!!!

Questions?

The Achilles heal of this class???

You get out of it what you put in!!

Back to this question….

Why does this

matter?

Why does this

matter? Do you care?

Do you care?

Do you care?

• I don’t know! Some don’t.• I do. Let me show you why….• Exercise #2…Looking at the news. – Do it– Debrief it

That’s why I care!

Other reasons to care:

• 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce,• 60% of second marriages end in divorce!– Are serious relationships all that different? (They

are probably worse!)

Other reasons to care:

• Billions of dollars in lost profit comes from workplace and commercial conflict.

• Thousands of dollars in lost income and countless sleepless nights come to us!

Think this doesn’t apply to you?

Are you good at conflict?

How many of you are “collaborative?”

What does that mean?

Most people think they are collaborative…

But they aren’t when it really matters.

Consider managers…Conflict resolution is their job!!!

–96% of managers fail to reach win-win agreements in their negotiations.–They leave millions of dollars “on the

table.”

– (See Thompson Chpt 1)

Few of us are as good at conflict as we think we are!

–20% end up with “lose-lose” outcomes. –Even when negotiators are in

perfect agreement, they fail to realize it 50% of the time!

(See Thompson Chpt 1)

We tend to have one conflict style

When we should have 5!

–We don’t know when to stick up for our beliefs, and when not to.–We don’t know when to avoid, when to engage, when to be competitive, when to be cooperative

Compromise

–Some of us think “compromise is a 4-letter word”–Some of us don’t.

–Do you know when it is and when it isn’t?

End of Day 1

• Start Day 2

Exercise #3

• Make a secret, honest self assessment…answer these questions in your notebook…you don’t need to hand this in.

1.How many relationships have you been in in the last 3 years?

2.Were they good ones? Great ones? Troubled ones?

3.How is your relationship with your family?4.Roommates?

Ex. #3 continued….

5. How many jobs have you had? Were they rewarding? Troublesome? How did you get along with your boss? Your co-workers? Your clients (if appropriate)?

6. What career do you intend on pursuing?– Might you need to know conflict resolution?– Might you need to negotiate?

Last one…

7. Do you want to make a difference in the world? Do you think that will be easy?

I believe…

We all need strong conflict resolution skills…and research shows few of us have them.

Ask yourself:

If you are willing to get better at doing conflict, stay with this class.

If this strikes you as silly and boring…or if this sounds easy, you are better off dropping!

IT ISN’T EASY!!!

Exercise #3 – Conflict “Folk Knowledge”

• Get in groups of 3-4 people, discuss, and record:1. What are the most common causes of conflict?2. What are the most common responses?3. Is compromise good or bad? Why?4. Are emotions in conflict good or bad? Why?5. When you negotiate, should you always start with an

extreme position (so you have something to give up)?6. What gives you power in conflict? Is that good or

bad?7. Debrief…

3 kinds of conflict knowledge

• Folk knowledge (advantages? disadvantages?)

• Scientific knowledge(advantages? disadvantages?)

• Practical knowledge(advantages? disadvantages?)

Back to the VERY BASICS: let’s make sure we’re all on the same

page…

What’s a conflict?

According to Joyce Hocker and William Wilmot, conflict is…

• An expressed struggle• At least two parties who are • Interdependent (need each other)• They perceive– Incompatible goals– Scarce resources– Interference in achieving goals

Daniel Dana - Business Mediator, defines conflict as a situation when…

• Two (or more) parties are INTERDEPENDENT• They BLAME each other for a problem• They are FRUSTRATED or ANGRY • Their behavior is causing a PROBLEM.

http://www.mediate.com/articles/dana1.cfm

According to these definitions, conflict can differ in…

TractabilityTractability

Win-win potential

Win-win potential

Pervasiveness

Pervasiveness

CentralityCentrality

ComplexityComplexity

DurationDuration

NegotiabilityNegotiability

Importance

Importance

BUT…

• There have to be at least 2 parties (people, organizations, nation states)

• They have to see the situation as a problem (not a game or an intellectual argument)

• They see the other as the source of the problem and/or the impediment to resolution.

Exercise #4:

1. Think of some bad interpersonal conflicts you have experienced and/or witnessed. What were the costs of those conflicts? To the parties and to outsiders? (Notetakers, make a list of costs on a chart (see next slide)

2. Aim for at least 10, in 5 minutes or less.)

Put your answers on a chart:

• Your job: Make a chart -- Cost Interpersonal Workplace National International/Global

1 Lost friendships Lost productivity Congressional inaction

War

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

Exercise #4:

1. What about conflicts at work? What were the costs of those conflicts?

2. Have you read about any community conflicts in Boulder or elsewhere? What were the costs of those?

3. What about national conflicts? Can you think of any national conflicts that have significant costs? (These are rampant—write down as many as you can think of.)

4. Same for international conflicts…

If conflict is so costly, why do we do it?

(Your turn to answer!)

Are there any benefits to conflict?

What are they??

Is there any way to get the benefits without the costs?

• You tell me…then we’ll see if we agree!