8/14/2019 Overcoming the Rage

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Liliana Lpez

Overcoming the Rage

One hour ago, I had once again a strong argument with somebody very close to me. It

doesnt matter who that somebody is, it might be a boss, a mother, a best friend, a

husband, a nasty mother-in-law or a sister-in-law; you attach the label more convenient

for you to picture the scene. What is important here is that this is not the first time we

quarrel angrily and it deeply hurts coming over and over it once more. Now Im much

more relaxed and quieter, but I still feel the symptoms of stress caused by the

wrangling; I feel the muscles of my face tense, specially about my mouth, I already

have a headache and my neck is stiff and it makes painful noises when I want to turn it

around. Why do we somatize the pain in our body?

Some years ago, when I had some argument with this person, I used to shout, to cry and

to tell things back, I HAD to win the altercation. But now Ive learnt that that

disgraceful conduct is unfruitful, it always leads to unpleasant after effects, because I

would end up head down in bed, drawn in self-pity, tired and all in tears, my eyes

swollen. What is worse is that the problem wouldnt vanish however much I cried my

eyes out; rather, it remained there more overpowering. Why is it so hard to express our

anger out without retaliating the same harsh words?

Im learning to (Thats why now I) take the attack much calmer, more aloof and

nonchalant; at least it does seem so in the outside. It still hurts, yes, but Im determined

not to (dont) punish my body anymoreby forcing it to cope with a tiring distressful

session of reproaches. No, this will not do. Because, you see, I have to deal with thisperson regularly and thats not particularly easywhen some minutes ago youve been

told names and demoralized. Besides its wise to converse with the richness that a

language provides us as a powerful tool of fencing.

Nowadays, I take things more coolheartedly. My opponent doesnt, being still in the

Dark Ages as regards this life philosophy of mine. He/ she (whoever is best in this case)

wants to continue playing the old who-of-us-can-be-bitchier game. I dont care. Ive

grown up and I wont come back to that sillybehavior.

Now, here comes the silence. Neither of us will speak to each other for a long while,and will avoid each others eyes. But I positively know that within minutes , we will be

talking casually about the weather as usual, pretending that nothing has happened

before. It is inevitable, since we are in the same boat. But that person has not come to

realize yet that Im another person, with my head up high, much stronger, careless and

easygoing. I wont be taken into childish games anymore.

So I prepare myself some mates, listen to some good music and put myself to write this

essay. Im very sad, I know. I also know that now this person would be boasting and

bragging about winning this battle. However, I know that neither of us has won a

thing. There are no winners. Quite the contrary, for a battle to be declared, twocontenders are needed.So,Every time this person gives me grief, I lock up inside myself

8/14/2019 Overcoming the Rage

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Liliana Lpez

as a protection; every new argument will mean our getting further and further away, that

distance will never be shortened. The relationship has been eroded seriously and

inexorably. At least, I know that, after all, none of this has happened for no good reason.

Ive learnt to protect myself from foolery and from being illogical despite this absurd

situation. Because I must go on, I must survive.

Li te agregu unas preguntitas retricas que abren a la reflexin general para que no sea

una narracin de un hecho particular nada ms y que sea extensivo para todo aquel que

pasa por algo igual. Agregale que una disputa no te suma nada sino que por el

contrario,la batalla la gana quien cede una lucha.