761114085716001

FAKULTI PENDIDIKAN DAN BAHASA

SEMESTER MEI / TAHUN 2014

OUMH1303

ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION

NO. MATRIKULASI : 761114085716001

NO. KAD PENGENALAN : 761114-08-5716

NO. TELEFON : 012-3608660

E-MEL :norhayatiazhar@rocketmail.com

PUSAT PEMBELAJARAN : SHAH ALAM

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WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO BE A GOOD PARENT?

Good morning to my dear teachers, parents and pupils. Firstly, thanks to all the parents for

your attendance today. Support of all parents is we need to ensure the success of each

program organized by the school, in order to achieve excellence in students. Today, i would

like to share with you of the very important thing is how to be a good parent.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Being a parent can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences of your life, but

that doesn't mean it's easy. No matter what age your child or children are, your work is never

done. To be a good parent, you need to know how to make your children feel valued and

loved, while teaching them the difference between right and wrong. At the end of the day, the

most important thing is to create a nurturing environment where your children feel like they

can thrive and develop into confident, independent, and caring adults. If you want to know

how to be a good parent, you must know what are the characteristics of a good parents.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Who is parent? Parent is a father or mother; one who begets or one who gives birth to or

nurtures and raises a child; a relative who plays the role of guardian. Parenting is, in fact the

interpersonal relationship between parents and children. The depth, intensity or the methods

or relationship is highly personal and what works between few parents and children may not

be the same for certain parents and children.

There are multiple characteristics of a good parent. First, parent must express love and

affection to their children. This is the most important characteristic of to be a good parent.

Many parents say that they love their kids more than any parent does, yet their kids complain

of less affectionate and less loved parents. Love and affection, when not expressed is

worthless. Parents need to make their kids feel that they love the children. Here are some

ways to show love and affection :

1. A gentle cuddle, a little encouragement, appreciation, approval or even a smile can go

a long way to boost the confidence and well-being of your children.

2. Tell them you love them every day, no matter how angry at them you may be.

3. Give lots of hugs and some kisses. Make your children comfortable with love and

affection from birth.

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4. Love them unconditionally; don't force them to be who you think they should be in

order to earn your love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter

what.

It can boost the confidence of kids and feel them that parents love them and stand for them.

Ladies and gentlemen,

The second characteristic of good parent is praise your children. Praising your children is an

important part of being a good parent. You want your kids to feel proud of their

accomplishments and good about themselves. If you don't give them the confidence they

need to be out in the world on their own, then they won't feel empowered to be independent

or adventurous. When they do something good, let them know that you've noticed and that

you're very proud of them. Make a habit of praising your children at least three times as much

as you give them negative feedback. Though it's important to tell your children when they're

doing something wrong, it's also important to help them build a positive sense of self. If they

are too young to fully understand, praise them with treats, applause, and lots of love.

Encouraging them for doing everything from using the potty to getting good grades can help

them lead a happy and successful life.

The third characteristic of a good parent is listen to your children. It's important that your

communication with your children goes both ways. You shouldn't just be there to enforce

rules, but to listen to your children when they are having a problem. You have to be able to

express interest in your children and involve yourself in their life. You should create an

atmosphere in which your children can come to you with a problem, however large or small.

You can even set aside a time to talk to your children every day. This can be before bedtime,

at breakfast, or during a walk after school. Treat this time as sacred and avoid checking your

phone or getting distracted. If your child says he has to tell you something, make sure you

take this seriously and drop everything you're doing, or set up a time to talk when you can

really listen. Let them express all their feelings to you and through this, you can understand

what they really want and how they feel about you.

The fourth characteristic is avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings.

Each child is individual and unique. Celebrate their differences and instil in each child the

desire to pursue their interests and dreams. Failure to do so may give your child an inferiority

complex, an idea that they can never be good enough in your eyes. If you want to help them

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improve their behaviour, talk about meeting their goals on their own terms, instead of telling

them to act like their sister or neighbour. This will help them develop a sense of self instead

of having an inferiority complex. Comparing one child to another can also make one child

develop a rivalry with his or her sibling. You want to nurture a loving relationship between

your children, not a competitive one. You must avoid favouritism. Surveys have shown that

most parents have favourites, but most children believe that they are the favourite. If your

children are quarrelling, don't choose sides, but be fair and neutral.

Ladies and gentlemen,

The next characteristics is enforce reasonable rules. You should enforce rules that apply to

every person leading a happy and productive life, not model rules of your ideal person. It's

important to set rules and guidelines that help your child develop and grow without being so

strict that your child feels like he can't take a step without doing something wrong. Ideally,

your child should love you more than he fears your rules. The key to effective discipline is to

have clear rules and boundaries in place for your child and to be consistent about enacting

consequences. To enforce reasonable rules, you should follow these ways;

1. Communicate your rules clearly. Children should be very familiar with the

consequences of their actions. If you give them a punishment, be sure they understand

the reason and the fault; if you cannot articulate the reason and how they are at fault

the punishment will not have the discouraging effects you desire.

2. Make sure that you not only set reasonable rules, but that you enforce them

reasonably. Avoid overly harsh forms of punishment, ridiculously stringent

punishments for minor infractions, or anything that involves physically hurting your

child.

The sixth characteristic is control your temper as much as you can. It's important to try to

be as calm and reasonable as you can when you explain your rules or carry them out. You

want your children to take you seriously, not fear you or think of you as unstable. Obviously,

this can be quite a challenge, especially when your children are acting out or just driving you

up the wall, but if you feel yourself getting ready to raise your voice, take a break and excuse

yourself before you finish talking to your children. Sometimes, we all lose our tempers and

feel out of control. If you do or say something you regret, you should apologize to your

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children, letting them know that you've made a mistake. If you act like the behaviour is

normal, then they will try to mimic it.

The seventh characteristic is criticize your child's behaviour, not your child. It's important

to criticize your children's actions, instead of your actual child. You want your child to learn

that he or she can accomplish whatever he or she wants through his or her behaviour, instead

of being stuck being one kind of person. Let him or her feel like he has the agency to improve

his behaviour. When your child acts out in a harmful and spiteful manner, tell him or her that

such behaviour is unacceptable and suggest alternatives. Avoid statements such as: "You're

bad." Instead, say something like, "It was very wrong to be mean to your little sister."

Explain why the behaviour was bad. Be assertive yet kind when pointing out what they have

done wrong. Be stern and serious, but not cross or mean, when you tell them what you

expect. Avoid public humiliation. If they misbehave in public, take them aside, and scold

them privately.

Ladies and gentlemen,

The eighth characteristic to be a good parent is teach your children to be

independent. Teach your children that it is okay for them to be different, and they do not

have to follow the crowd. Teach them right from wrong when they are young, and they will

(more often than not) be able to make their own decisions, instead of listening to or following

others. Remember that your child is not an extension of yourself. Your child is an individual

under your care, not a chance for you to relive your life through them. Here are some aspect

that you need to take attention to teach your children to be independent;

1. When your children get old enough to make decisions for themselves, you should

encourage them to choose which extra-curricular activities they want to do or what

friends they want to play with. Unless you think an activity is very dangerous, or a

playmate is a very bad influence, you should let your children figure things out for

themselves.

2. A child may have an opposite disposition, introverted when you are extroverted, for

instance, and will not be able to fit into the pattern and style that you choose, and will

make his or her own decisions instead.

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3. They need to learn that their own actions have consequences (good and bad). By

doing so, it helps them to become good decision makers and problem solvers so that

they are prepared for independence and adulthood.

4. Don't routinely do things for your children that they can learn to do for themselves.

While getting them a glass of water before bed is a nice way to make them get to

sleep faster, don't do it so often that they come to expect it.

The next characteristic is be a good role model. If you want your child to be well-behaved,

then you should model the behaviour and character you hope your children will adopt and

continue to live by the rules that you set. Show them by example in addition to verbal

explanations. Children have a tendency to become what they see and hear unless they make a

conscious and concerted effort to break the mould. You don't have to be a perfect person, but

you should strive to do as you want your children to do, so you don't look hypocritical if you

tell your children to be polite to others when they find you getting in a heated argument in the

supermarket. These are some ways to be a good role model;

1. It's perfectly okay to make mistakes, but you should apologize or let your child know

that the behaviour is not good. You can say something like, "Mommy didn't mean to

yell at you. She was just very upset." This is better than ignoring that you made a

mistake, because that will show the child that he or she should model this behaviour.

2. Want to teach kids about charity? Get involved and take your kids with you to a soup

kitchen or homeless shelter and help serve up meals. Explain to them why you do acts

of charity so they understand why they should.

3. Teach kids about chores by setting a schedule and having them help you out. Don't

tell your child to do something, but ask for their help. The earlier they learn to help

you, the longer they will be willing to.

4. If you want your son or daughter to learn to share, set a good example and share your

things with them.

The last characteristic to be a good parent is encourage your children to have a healthy

lifestyle. It's important to make sure that your children eat healthy food as much as they can,

that they get plenty of exercise, and that they get enough rest every night. You should

encourage positive and healthy behaviour without harping on it too much or making it seem

like you're forcing your children to eat or act a certain way. Let them come to these

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conclusions on their own while helping them see the meaning and importance of a healthy

life. How to encourage them?

1. One way to encourage them to exercise is to get them to play a sport early on in life,

so they find a passion that is also healthy.

2. If you start over-explaining to the child that something is unhealthy or that they

shouldn't get it, they may take it the wrong way and feel like you are insulting them.

Once this happens, they will no longer want to go out to eat with you, and they will

feel bad eating around you, which could make them want to sneak and hide junk food

from you.

3. When trying to enforce healthy eating habits, start it at a younger age. Giving rewards

of candy to children may create a bad habit, because once they get older, some may

feel they should reward themselves which can lead to obesity. While they are young,

start them out with healthier snacks. Instead of chips, try goldfish (crackers), grapes,

and many more.

4. The eating habits they learn as they are younger are the ones they continue to have.

Also, never make your child finish their plate, if they say they are not hungry. This

can continue throughout their lives, causing them to finish no matter what portions are

on their plate.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Every parent wishes to be the best parent in the world. But, when the life turns into reality,

most of the parent fail to remain best parent or at least good parents. This may occur because

the parents do not have the knowledge to be a good parent. Therefore parents should seek

knowledge so that they can be good parents. Good parents are to be consistent in their

parenting styles. If you ask kids to follow certain rules, then apply the same rules always. Do

not be flexible according to your comfort. Rules are to be rules what may happen. This

approach will infuse into kids the feeling of importance of obeying parents always. Be good

to yourself that is the way of being good parents. I hope all of parents will be a good parent

soon.

Thank you.

(2527 words)

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REFERENCES

http://www.ehow.com/how_4872_be-parent.html

myyoungchild.org/parents/good-parent/

www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Good-Parent

www.prokerala.com/...ting/how-to-be-a-good-parent.php

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/compassion-matters/201011/how-be-good

www.webmd.com/parenting/features/10-commandments-good

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