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(306) 825-5694 or e-mail:[email protected]
October 27, 2014
“Selfie fever” “Selfie Fever” has begun to sully the sacred Islamic pilgrimages to Mecca, according to scholars who complained to Arab News in September. What for centuries has been a hallowed journey intended to renew the spirit of Islam (that all Muslims are called upon to experience at least once) has come, for some in the so-called “Facebook era,” to resemble a trip to Disneyland, with visitors to the Sacred Mosque texting friends the “evidence” of their piety. (Another scholar complained in a New York Times opinion piece in Octo-ber that Mecca is often experienced more as a tour packaged by marketers and centered around Mecca’s upscale shopping malls rather than religious structures.) [Arab News, 9-30-2014; New York Times, 10-1-2014]
Virtual Football ......
New York Giants tight end Larry Donnell manages his own fanta-sy league team by “drafting” NFL players for virtual competitions based on their real-life statistics of the previous weekend. Don-nell lamented to New Jersey’s The Record in October that he had benched virtual “Larry Donnell” on his fantasy team the week before because he thought his other tight end (“Vernon Davis”) would do better. In reality, real Donnell had a career-high game, with his three touchdowns leading the real Gi-ants to a 45-14 victory. However, Donnell’s fantasy team lost badly because virtual Larry Donnell (and his weekend statistical bonanza) was on Donnell’s bench. [WCBS-TV, 10-2-2014]
My dad took my four- and five-year-old brother and sister fishing on his boat. They were asking about his fish finder, and he said that it
shows how deep the lake is. He told them it was 20 feet deep, and my sister looked amazed and then asked,
‘Whose feet? Yours or mine?’”-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------When my niece was four or five, I asked her what she wanted to
be when she grew up. She calmly looked at me and said, ‘I want to be the person who
paints the lines on the road.‘ It made me laugh so hard because it was so far out there.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------One day I walked into my three year old daughters room ....
that looked like a clothing store had threw up in it not to mention the dolls crayons and toys scattered around ...
I was like wow your room is a mess!! Her reply... I know..can you believe this?!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------As we were walking through the store, my 4.5 yr old daughter
looks at me and asks,“Why do I always have to match my clothes and you don’t?”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Overheard from a 4 year old to his mother:
“Mommy, I love you, but we seem to have our differences.” from the 4 year old at bedtime.
Vic Juba Community Theatre presents “Don’t Dress for Dinner” within their Dr. H. A. McDonald Season on Nov 19-21. Dinner tickets are available. Cocktails begin at 5:30 pm, dinner service starts at 6:00 pm, with the performance starting at 7:30 pm. This comedy is performed by Vic Juba Community Players and directed by Matt Newman under the mentorship of Wendy Collins. The cast includes Cornelius Krahn who performs the role of Bernard (the husband), Nadine Walker-Perry who performs the role of Jacqueline (his wife), Dave Woods plays Robert (Bernard's friend), Joelle Collins plays Suzanne (Bernard's mistress), Candace Scobie performs the role of Suzette (the cook), and Ben Acquaye plays George (Suzette's husband). Bernard is planning a romantic weekend with his mistress in his charming converted French farmhouse, while his wife, Jacqueline, is away. He has arranged for a cordon bleu cook to prepare gourmet delights, and has invited his best friend, Robert, along too to provide the alibi. It's foolproof; what could possibly go wrong? Well.... suppose Robert turns up not realizing quite why he has been invited. Suppose Robert and Jacqueline are secret lovers, and consequently determined that Jacqueline will NOT leave for the weekend. Suppose the cook has to pretend to be the mistress and the mistress is unable to cook. Suppose everyone's alibi gets confused with everyone else's. An evening of hilarious confusion ensues as Bernard and Robert improvise at breakneck speed. “Don't Dress for Dinner” is a two-act play by French playwright Marc Camoletti, who wrote the farce Boeing-Boeing. The play has been adapted for English audiences by Robin Hawdon. This production is performed by special arrangement with Samuel French. Performance only tickets are $25 (adults) and $5 (students) (Recommended for ages 14+). Roast Baron of Beef dinner tickets are $35. For tickets, please contact the Box Office at 780-872-7400, Monday to Friday, 9:30 am to 3:30 pm.
Tickets Now Available for our Limited Edition 2014 Wine Tasting Event..
A woman, whose husband often came home drunk, decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she
jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork. “Who are
you?” he asked. “I’m the Devil!” she responded. “Well, come on home with me,”
he said, “I married your sister!”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------A ghost had been staying in a bed and breakfast hotel and when he came down for dinner he asked the waitress, “Please can I have two eggs, one tough and one rubbery, really tough bacon and burned, fried bread?” The waitress said, “Sir, we
really can’t serve that kind of horrid food here.”
The ghost replied, “Well, you did yesterday!”
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20 Things Your Toddler Is Trying To Say To You… Most children say their �rst word by the time they are 14 months old. By their second birthday, most children can say around 50 words. They’re not, however, great communicators.
There is still a great amount of guess work for parents, as you try to �gure out what your toddler is trying to tell you. So, following on from the post 20 things babies would say if they could talk, here are some things your toddler is probably trying to say to you:
1. Yes, I said I wanted pasta. I watched you prepare it, and now that it’s here in front of me, I’m saying I’d prefer soup. I changed my mind. I really don’t see what the problem is.2. I can tell from your smirk that you are not taking this very seriously, but those are NOT THE SOCKS I WANTED.3. I heard you say a bad word. Now I’m going to say it, over and over again. Thanks mum, you’re the best teacher.4. Stop trying to help me. I can do this all by myself. Yes, I like to wear my trousers as a hat. This is the look I am going for. STOP LAUGHING AT ME.5. Look at my face. I am not getting into that car seat without a �ght. Want to see how loud I can scream?6. Yes, I o�ered you the paintbrush, but you weren’t meant to actually take it. Of course I’m crying. You have ruined painting for me. No, I don’t want the paint brush back, I want you to not take it in the �rst place! Today is RUINED.7. I feel I should warn you before we get to the playdate, I am in no mood for sharing today.8. Thanks for teaching me the words penis and vagina. I can’t wait to tell Grandma. And the neighbours. And the shopkeeper. I love impressing people with my new words. VAGINA!9. Yes, I can see it’s still dark out, but I am telling you, IT’S MORNING. Now get out of bed and come downstairs to assist me with my jigsaws.10. Who am I wearing? Well, me. I call this look a crown and some wellies. And yes, I plan to wear this out of the house today. No, I do not think my bum will get cold, thanks for asking.11. I really admire your persistence for a 7pm bedtime. It’s not happening though.12. Ha, that joke never gets old. Your bed, indeed. Now, both of you, adopt your nightly squashed-to-the-edge position while I star�sh in the middle. Sweet dreams.13. What poo? In the middle of the living room �oor? No, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nothing to do with me.14. If you don’t get up now, I’m going to be forced to use my special move on you. What move? The sit-on-your-head-with-my-bare-bum-move. Get up.15. I think you know as well as I do, that I need to take all of these sticks and stones home. It would be too hard to choose a favourite. Now open up your pockets, damnit.16. I know, I said I would walk, so you left the carrier and pushchair at home. I don’t know what to tell you, I’ve changed my mind. Now kindly carry me home.17. I have never been so humiliated in my entire life. How dare you tell your friends about the time I pooped in your bed. That was meant to be our little secret.18. No, I don’t want an apple. No, I don’t want any avocado. No, I don’t fancy a bowl of soup. Look, I’m going to save us both some time, hand over the crisps.19. What a stupid question. I am insulted. Can’t you tell that my drawing is a picture of a dog?20. We all have our vices, mum. You like to sneak chocolate in the laundry when you think I’m not looking. Yes, that’s right, I know you do that. And I like to play in the bathroom bin, now give me back that empty toilet roll and leave me in peace.
Written by the BellyBelly Content Team. Follow Kelly, the creator of BellyBelly, on Google+ and become a fan of BellyBelly on Facebook or follow us on Twitter. Please note that all of my suggestions and advice are of a generalised nature only and are not intended to replace advice from a quali�ed professional. BellyBelly.com.au – The Thinking Woman’s Website For Conception, Pregnancy, Birth and Baby.
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TOP 10 HOUSES TO AVOID WHILE TRICK-OR-TREATING
10. Any house that seems to be imploding into a hole in the ground.9. Any house made of gingerbread.8. Any house that has ornamental lawn Hell Hounds.7. Any house whose only entrance is through the basement.6. Any house where all the windows are glowing with eerie green light.5. Any house that keeps growling, “Get out”4. Any house where the trophy ani-mal heads on the walls are talking.3. Any house that has a bloody wood chipper prominently displayed in the front yard.2. Any house with a yard full of statues of people in odd running poses.
And the number 1 house to avoid...1. Any house that wasn’t there a couple of seconds ago.
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One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as ‘Rocky’ in boxing gloves and
satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some good-ies, he returned for more. “Aren’t you the same
‘Rocky’ who left my doorstep a few minutes ago?” I asked.
“Yes,” he replied, “but now I’m the sequel. I’ll be back three more times tonight too.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A guy named Billie Bob Joe goes to a costume dress party with a
girl on his back. Harold, answering the door: What are you supposed to be? Billie Bob Joe: A turtle. Harold:
What do you mean? Billie Bob Joe: The girl on my back is Michelle.
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THINGS WE’VE LEARNED FROM HORROR FILMS....
* When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead. It isn’t.* If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house move immediately.* Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.* Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.* When you have the benefit of a group of people, NEVER pair off and go it alone.* As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.* If you’re searching for something that caused a noise and find out that it’s just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.* If you find a town that looks deserted, it’s probably for a reason. Take the hint and leave NOW!!* Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re sure you know what you are doing. Even then, don’t do it.* If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are a female. Even though you may be faster than the monster, you can be sure that it WILL catch you.* If your friends suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.* If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
My son-in-law Matt has a great-looking Darth Vader mask. One year at
Halloween, a friend asked if he could bor-row it. Matt agreed, and on
Halloween night, his friend came by to pick it up. Matt was surprised that his
friend was dressed in his usual attire of jeans and a flannel shirt, with the addition
of a black cowboy hat.
“Where’s your costume?” Matt asked.
“This is it,” his friend replied.
“Well, what are you supposed to be?” Matt inquired.
His friend answered, “Darth Brooks.”
Two nuns are traveling through Europe in their car.
They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.
Suddenly, a diminutive Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and scratches at the windshield!
“Quick, quick!!” shouts the first nun “What shall I do?”
“Turn the windshield wipers on, that will get rid of the abomination.” shouts the second.
The first nun switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and hisses even more loudly!
“What shall I do now?” shouts the first nun.
“Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican!” says the second.
Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and hisses
again at the nuns.
“Now what?” screams the first nun. “Show him your cross!” says
the second.
So the nun rolls down the window and shouts:
“GET OFF MY DARN HOOD, YOU LITTLE CREEP!”
1. What vegetable was traditionally carved before the pumpkin?a. Beetrootb. Melonc. Turnipd. Swede2. What is the day after Halloween called?a. All Sinners’ Dayb. All Saints’ Dayc. After Hallow’s Dayd. Hallowmass3. What does the Halloween color orange represent?a. The harvestb. The twilightc. The burning of spiritsd. The voice of spirits4. Barnbrack is a traditional Halloween food. What is it?a. A fruit cakeb. A meat dishc. A pumpkin punchd. A special bread
5. Jerry Ayers is the world’s fastest pumpkin carver. How fast was he?a. 22 secondsb. 37 secondsc. 45 secondsd. 53 seconds6. In England, are white cats believed to be?a. Bad luckb. Good luckc. Devil’s luckd. Spirit protection7. What was the trick originally in ‘trick or treat’?a. Knock on the door and then run awayb. Throw water at the person opening the doorc. Sing a song to the person giving you the candyd. Recite a good luck protection spell8. What does the color black signify in Halloween?a. Deathb. Darknessc. Uncertaintyd. The Devil
1. c 2. b, 3. a, 4.a, 5. b, 6. a, 7. c, 8. a
Get expert advice today.
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* Orange and black are Halloween colors because orange is associated with the Fall harvest and black is associated with darkness and death.* Jack o’ Lanterns originated in Ireland where people placed candles in hollowed-out turnips to keep away spirits and ghosts on the Samhain holiday.* Pumpkins also come in white, blue and green. Great for unique monster carvings!* Halloween was brought to North America by immigrants from Europe who would celebrate the harvest around a bonfire, share ghost stories, sing, dance and tell fortunes.* Tootsie Rolls were the first wrapped penny candy in America.* The ancient Celts thought that spirits and ghosts roamed the countryside on Halloween night. They began wearing masks and costumes to avoid being recognized as human.* Halloween candy sales average about 2 billion dollars annually in the United States.* Chocolate candy bars top the list as the most popular candy for trick-or-treaters with Snickers #1.* Halloween is the 2nd most commercially successful holiday, with Christmas being the first.* Bobbing for apples is thought to have originated from the roman harvest festival that honors Pamona, the goddess of fruit trees.* Black cats were once believed to be witch’s familiars who protected their powers.
TEN SIGNS YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR HALLOWEEN
You get winded from knocking on the door
You have to have someone chew the candy for you
You ask for high fiber candy only.
When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
People say, “Great Keith Richards mask!” and you’re not wearing a mask.
When the door opens you yell, “Trick or...” and you can’t remember the rest.
By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders.
You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hair piece.
You’re the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live
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