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We don’t just say we’re connected to the community. We live it. In 2011, Duke Energy raised more than $337,000 for the United Way and United Fund organizations across the 69 Indiana counties that we serve. Together, we’re helping to change lives and meet tomorrow’s needs.

www.youarecurrent.com Current in Carmel November 29, 2011 | 3

Founded Oct. 24, 2006, at Carmel, INVol. VI, No. 5

Copyright 2011. Current Publishing, LLCAll Rights Reserved.

30 South Range Line RoadCarmel, IN 46032

317.489.4444 Managing Editor – Kevin [email protected] / 489.4444 ext. 204Associate Editor – Terry [email protected] Director – Zachary Ross [email protected] / 489.4444Associate Artist – Andrea [email protected] / 489.4444Cartoonist – Tim [email protected]

Advertising Senior Sales Executive – Dennis O’[email protected] / 370.0749

Business OfficeBookkeeper – Heather [email protected] / 489.4444Publisher – Brian [email protected] / 414.7879General Manager – Steve [email protected] / 847.5022

The views of the columnists in Current In Carmel are their own and do not necessarily reflect the positions of this newspaper.

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Our nation has all sorts of arcane, nonsensical laws on the books. Each week, we’ll share one with you.

In Augusta Maine, it is illegal to stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.

Source: Weird Laws (iPhone application)

Photo Illustration

strange laws

Every week, we will print a por-tion of the U.S. Constitution, fol-lowed by a portion of the Indiana Constitution. We encourage you to benchmark government policies against these bedrock documents. Today: the U.S. Constitution.

Article. I. Section. 2. Clause 4: When vacancies happen in the Repre-sentation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

Clause 5: The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.

Section. 3. Clause 1: The Senate of the United States shall be com-posed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof,

(See Note 3) for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.

Clause 2: Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies. (See Note 4)

The views in these editorials are of reader participants. They do not represent those of Current Publishing ownership and management.

COnstItUtIOn ClOseUP

Who doesn’t enjoy the holidays. . . a time for celebration and reflection, spending quality time with those we love, and boy oh boy the food! The moment has come when our calendars are beginning to be filled for the remainder of the year with parties, relating anywhere from our employers, neighbors, children’s schools, to our own families. Each of which will certainly come with an assortment of sweets and treats. Rather than just accept the fact that for the next 90 days, we walk around with our belts notched a bit looser than usual, please take time to consider the following easy steps to account for the seasonal bump in calories.

Some simple suggestions include, using the stairs as opposed to the el-evator, enjoying a tall glass of water with your food so you feel full quicker and offering healthy food options if you are hosting the party.

Utilizing some of these simple steps can be the difference to keeping our weight steady, versus gaining that uncomfortable “holiday pounds.” And don’t forget that just being mindful of what we are eating can go a long way as well. Best of luck and Happy Holidays!

Loosening our belts Poverty in our countyIt is our position that the holidays can be a

tough time on the less fortunate. Everyone needs a helping hand everyone once in a while, thus, we believe that if you, or someone you know who fits the criteria then you should take advantage of the service provided.

Township assistance, or temporary assistance, is a unique service provided by the Clay Township Trustee’s office. The program is available for anyone who lives between 96th street to the south, 146th to the north, White River to the east and the Hamilton/Boone County line to the west. The assistance helps pay for things such as rent, utilities, prescriptions, medical, school books and supplies, food, fuel, transportation and moving expenses as well as other things.

Those in need of assistance can call the Clay Township Trustees office at 846-2773 or walk into their office, which is located at 10701 N. College Ave. For more information, visit www.claytwp.org. There, you can get the application needed to begin the process of receiving assistance.

OUr VIews

Views | Community | Cover story | education | Diversions | Anti-Aging | it’s Golden | Dough | in spirit | inside & Out | Pets | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds

4 | November 29, 2011 Current in Carmel www.youarecurrent.com

We hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day and extended weekend, but we’re guessing not very many were as thoroughly thankful as Hamilton County Sheriff Mark Bowen, who the week before had a “just in time” heart procedure. It saved his life. Bowen, a slim-and-trim avid runner and fitness enthusiast, unknowingly was bat-tling heredity. He is successfully and quickly recovering, and he said he will be cleared to resume running in the very near future. “I’m lucky,” he told us. We’ll take it!

• • •This is disgusting, disheartening and down-

right inhumane. There’s an overflow of pets at the Hamilton County Humane Society. That’s not the real headline, though. Consider this: Capacity is overflowing, because selfish humans that went over the river and through the woods last week, decided to dump their pets on the shelter instead of being respon-sible pet owners and arranging for their care at a kennel or by a family member, friend or neighbor. Rebecca Stevens, the humane soci-ety’s executive director, and her staff actually held the shelter’s first-ever Black Friday sale with drastically reduced adoption pricing in response to the overflow of pets. (The event began after our press time, but we hope it was successful.) As for those former pet owners, we hope they take a good, long look in the

mirror. It. Just. Blows. Our. Minds!• • •

Congratulations are in order for Car-mel High School radio station WHJE-FM (91.3), which has been honored with a slew of awards from a recent contest. At a recent ceremony at North Central College in Na-perville, Ill., WHJE placed second nationally in the Best High School Station category. Individually, national awards went to Jordan Larson (first place, Best News Feature Story), Mark Huber (first place Best Sportscast), Huber and Brent Ayers (first place, Best Sports Play by Play), Tyler Wright (first place, Best Promo; second place, Best Public Affairs Program), Natalie Morfas (second place, Best Promo) and Zane Anderson (third place, – Best Original Radio Drama). Take a bow, one and all!

FrOM tHe BaCKsHOP

Brian Kelly & steve greenberg

Sheriff giving major thanks these days

Terry Anker is an associate editor of Current Publishing, LLC. You may e-mail him at [email protected].

CommentaryBy terry anker

Experience teaches that winning football coaches are amongst the most unbeatable of political adversaries. If they choose to run for office, they put together a plan, organize a quali-fied, trained and loyal team and execute without mercy. Likewise, there is an adage in politics that such a formidable personage is “unbeatable unless they are found in the company of a dead girl or a live boy.” While unmitigated in its crassness, the saying sheds an interesting perspective on the appalling turn of events in Penn State University’s storied gridiron program and its much-honored head coach, Joe Paterno, and his staff.

In thinking about this column, I read the 20-plus page grand jury report that finally brought media attention to a situation that seems to have permeated the Penn State team for years. One can only hope that the issue here is not that Paterno and his merry band are all debauched pedophiles – in fact, it is highly unlikely it will be so simple. Yet the fact remains that this op-eration appears to have not only protected itself

from accountability but continued to allow circumstances to occur that would lead to more irresponsible “horse-play,” at best, and criminal depravity, at worst, on the part of central figures to the institution.

Aside from reck-lessly over-promising and under-delivering on many of their commitments to students, parents and others, universities have a

long history of believing themselves exempt from external review. The mantra – we will handle this internally – leads to a culture of secrecy and superiority. The fervent belief that outsiders (that means all of us) couldn’t possibly understand the ivory tower breeds contempt for transparency. Lynching Paterno may satisfy the mob but isn’t a significant review of sustained institutional corruption within these mega businesses what is really needed? Perhaps better said – also needed.

The crass truth

The mantra – we will handle this internally – leads to a culture of

secrecy and superiority.

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COMMentarY By Kevin Kane

The City Council will spend thousands on improvements that are long overdue.

And, in my opinion, there’s no question on the need for these upgrades.

The council last week approved a resolution to take more than $14,000 from the council’s fund for consulting fees and use this to purchase new video equipment for the council chambers in city hall.

It’s about time. Not everyone has attended at meeting in the

council chambers, so let me explain why this equipment is needed.

During the council’s budget workshops earlier this year, for example, the proposed budgets of each department were projected on two screens flanking the dais. But one could hardly make out anything on these faded backdrops. More recently, I found myself last week to be bet-ter off leaning across the press table to look at Mayor Jim Brainard’s charts on water rates. I

was sitting as close to the screen as possible, and I don’t wear glasses or contacts. Yet I still could not read what was being projected.

That’s why this purchase is necessary. If I can’t read these things at that distance, how could anyone else in the audience stand a chance? Be-cause a camera captures what is being projected, one could argue that it currently is be better to not attend these meetings in person and simply watch them on the Internet or TV (unless you have U-Verse, that is). This way, you can at least see the presentations that are there almost en-tirely for the public’s benefit.

The city should have high-definition projectors and new, all-white (and not faded) screens installed in time for the Dec. 5 council meeting. These up-grades could not come a moment too soon.

New video equipment? Finally

Kevin Kane is the managing editor of Current in Carmel. You can reach him via e-mail at [email protected].

Sculpture is a waste of moneyEditor,

If there is an uglier and sillier looking sculp-ture than the new one in the roundabout at Range Line Road and Smokey Row Road, I’m

not sure where it is. What an awful waste of the taxpayers’ money.

Sue McClure46033



COMMentarY By Danielle wilson

’Tis the season. Hunting season, that is. And like many women around this deer-filled state, I was abandoned last weekend by my darling husband to single-parent our kids while he galli-vanted in the woods with his rifle and beef jerky. Years ago, if you’d asked me how I felt about this annual ritual, I would have complained incessantly about the selfishness of men who ditch domestic responsibilities to go “play” with Bowie knives and tree stands. Then I would have martyred myself for the whole month of November while Doo relived his childhood dream of becoming Jeremiah Johnson. Finally, I would have held his hiatus over his head until I’d had equal amount of fun time.

But guess what? Now that my kids no longer wear diapers or take naps, I kind of like hunting season. In fact, I’ve been looking forward to it for a few weeks now. Wha-aaaat? Yeah, I know. It’s crazy.

But lately Doo and I have been getting on each other’s nerves on the weekends. He’s been swamped at work and so spends most of Satur-day and Sunday either sitting at his desk or on the couch. When he isn’t cranking it out, he’s tuning-out with television or Angry Birds. All well and good, except that I’m a guilt-ridden working mom who feels like the only chance I have to clean the house and have fun with our

four children is on the weekends. Did I mention I’m also a control freak? So you can imagine the cuss-word cacophony inside my head when I see Doo − noise-reducing headphones on − “work-ing” on something that looks very similar to a CarMax page while I’m trying to vacuum. And Doo, understandably, gets honked off by my obnoxious bossiness. He tells me to relax and “let things slide,” to enjoy my days off, but that, of course, only makes me more irritated.

Luckily, hunting season is here, providing us a much-needed break from each other. He gets to have manly man time with his NRA posse, and I get to rule the roost without interference from “Fun Parent.” And since my children can all sleep through the night and toast a waffle, I don’t feel abandoned anymore. The house stays clean, I get to hang out with the kids, and we arrive at church and soccer games on time. With Doo gone, there’s no Doo’s “To Do” list to not get done. Make sense?

So yes, ’tis the season for shooting Bambi, but it’s no longer the season for mommy bitterness. Yay, hunting! Peace out.

Hunting season, yay!

Danielle Wilson is a Carmel resident and contributing columnist. You may e-mail her at [email protected].

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» Decorate and help rescue – Purchase your Christmas poinsettias from Izzy’s Place: A Dog Bakery (816 W. Main St.) and all proceeds will go to Sheltie Rescue of Central Indiana. This is one of the big-gest fundraising events of the year for the rescue. Over the last several years, Sheltie Rescue has rescued more than 800 shelties. The rescue provides medical care and spay and neutering for all the dogs it adopts. Call 582-1364 for more information.

» Home tour – Take a step back in time with the Carmel Clay Historical Society during its 15th annual Holiday Home Tour on Friday at 6 p.m. and Saturday at 10 and 11 a.m. and 2 and 6 p.m. Partici-pants meet at Carmel Christian Church on Main Street and travel by bus to each home. En route, a guide shares stories of the various homes and furnishings. Guests tour at their leisure, receive sou-venir booklets and sketches of the homes created by a local artist. For more infor-mation visit www.carmelclayhistory.org.

» Bazaar to benefit Julian Center – Manor-Care at Summer Trace, 12999 N. Pennsyl-vania in Carmel, will host its fourth annual Summer Trace Holiday Bazaar to benefit the Julian Center Saturday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. The silent auction will feature approximately 25 items from local area business and inde-pendent donors as well as a bazaar to feature more than 20 local businesses. This event is free and open to the public.

» Shop to give – Coats-Wright Art & De-sign will present Shop to Give Thursday, 5 to 8 p.m., at its Indiana Design Center Gallery, 200 S. Range Line Rd., in celebra-tion of Christel House International. Enjoy this evening of art, music, food and drinks. A percentage of the evening’s sales will be donated to support the visual and performing arts of Christel House Learning Centers in Indiana and around the world. RSVP by November 28 to 569-5980 [email protected].

» iPhone photography workshop – Professional photographer, music indus-try insider and iPhoneographer Harry Sandler will teach a three-day iPhone photography skills workshop at the Re-naissance Fine Art & Design Gallery, 1 S. Range Line Road, in the Arts & District, Friday through Sunday. Many of Sandler’s iPhone images also will be a part of the “Pixels & Pigment” exhibit at the gallery, on display beginning Friday. For more information on the workshop and to reg-ister, contact [email protected].

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VOlUnteers By Jeff worrell

Carmel High School teacher Jon Kane did not know his peer Margaret Winanas. Jon teaches art and Margaret instructs math in a different wing of the large building. But over the past five years, they have become very well acquainted and together share an award for their work with the Teens for Life program.

Margaret and Jon are the faculty sponsors for the group that did not exist before they met. Because the club now boasts 50 student mem-bers and many activities to their credit, Jon and Margaret received the Charles E. Stimming Sr. Pro-Life Award presented recently at the 29th annual Right to Life Dinner. As co-sponsors of the Teens for Life Club at Carmel High School, the award recognizes noteworthy achievements of outstanding pro-life advocates.

The Teens for Life Club is an active and vi-brant member of the extracurricular community at CHS. Jon said, “We encourage student lead-ership and we do have strong, enthusiastic lead-ers - leaders for today and for the future. They’re the ones who will set the example for their peers to follow.” One of those leaders, Club President Alex Dierckman, was also recognized at the event. She took home the 2011 Joan Byrum $1,000 pro-life student scholarship. She earned

the college money as the student who best ex-emplifies persistent, bold and compassionate dedication to life. Joining Alex in taking home awards were students Sarah Stubbs and Joe St. Claire. They participated in the annual art con-test and took home second and third place for their effort.

Margaret says the students meet twice per month. “Usually there is a speaker or some type of media presentation to stimulate discussion,” she said. Last year the club invited a CHS teach-er to discuss the adoption of her daughter. “The students were delighted when she brought her daughter and husband along. Students heard about the whole adoption process and respond-ed with many questions,” Margaret said.

This is another example of caring, dedicated teachers at CHS offering an opportunity for stu-dents to express themselves. Margaret Winans and Jon Kane received their reward on a very special evening surrounded by friends and fam-ily. The real and lasting reward for their work is yet to come.

Students, teachers take home awards

Jeff Worrell is a local businessman. He recognizes volunteers on “Connecting with Carmel” on cable channel 16. Contact him at [email protected]


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Some substantial increases are proposed for Carmel’s water rates, but City Council members say these higher rates are far from a done deal.

At the heart of the proposal is the city’s recent difficulty in providing for increased water usage as well as a need to fund and complete improve-ments to the city’s waterworks. The city had previously funded the improvements through bonds but since has used much of this money for other projects, some of which were necessary for construction on Keystone Parkway and the state’s upcoming work on U.S. 31. A rate in-crease could help fund the waterworks improve-ments, but the council said it is still reviewing all of its options.

“Yes, (a rate increase) was part of the original presentation, but we in the finance committee, we on the City Council, are going to look at all the alternatives and see what we can do to get it down for the people who use a normal amount of water,” said Councilwoman Luci Snyder.

Under the current proposal, most residential users – meaning those who use at or less than the average of 8,000 gallons per month – could see a rate increase of $1.72 to $2.38 per 1,000 gallons. Residents who use more, however, could face a steeper hike, as much as $4.38 per 1,000 gallons. Currently, the city’s biggest water consumers – those using more than 3,750,000 gallons per month, pay $0.78 per 1,000 gallons.

But the council returned an ordinance on the funding of the waterworks back to its finance committee, thus delaying the approval of any water rate increases.

Some councilors said at last week’s council meeting that all of the potential alternatives had not yet been reviewed. Snyder said these alterna-tives to a rate increase could include the ban-ning or monitoring of sprinkling or discontinu-ing the softening of the city’s water. Carmel is the largest municipality in the state that softens its water.

“Instead of paying $9 a month, you could then buy a water softener if you don’t already have one,” Snyder said. “And then how many bags of salt does it take?”

Mayor Jim Brainard said, if rates are increased as proposed, Carmel would still have the low-est water rates in the area – albeit in a tie with Westfield. Currently, Carmel residents who consume 8,000 per month pay an average of $21.39 on each bill. By comparison, Westfield residents pay $30.83 followed by Indianapolis, Fishers and Zionsville at $38.63 and Noblesville at $50.29, according to numbers provided by the city.

But Brainard said the potential rate increases are meant to adequately charge the substantial individual consumers.

“The big users are stressing our system out,” he said. “This rate adjustment is meant for them to be able to do that and pay for it.”

Council looking to reduce water-rate increases



By Darla Kinney [email protected]

Many Carmel residents might be surprised to learn that a free medical clinic sits in the heart of their income-comfortable city – and that this clinic is overflowing with those in need of acute medical care each day.

Perhaps even more astonishing, however, is the fact that Trinity Free Clinic, in operation since 2000, boasts a state-of-the-art fa-cility that handles medical, dental, eye, foot, asthma/allergy, OB/GYN and physical therapy care in spite of the fact that it has a paid staff of only seven.

But marketing is not in the clinic’s budget. In fact, its patients and volunteers most often find the clinic by word of mouth. One such volunteer is Dr. James Noland, who serves in the facility’s women’s health clinic.

“We help people who are at a transitional point in time in their lives,” Noland said. “Their gratitude and graciousness is a wonder-ful reward. My work there is as gratifying as anything could be.”

Noland is just one of many medical professionals and other volunteers who make it possible for the clinic to meet the ever-growing needs of the county.

Growing with demandClinic Director Margaret Charnoski has seen the clinic grow

from an immunization program for Our Lady of Mount Carmel Catholic Church newcomers to an acute-care facility run by more than 400 volunteers who, seven days a week, offer services to Hamilton County’s low-income residents without medical insurance coverage. And that number is growing daily, too. Since 2000, Trinity Clinic has served more than 10,000 patients.

“It has been amazing to see how this has grown to include a much more diverse population,” Charnoski said. “A lot of these people have never been without insurance.”

Each careful step Trinity Free Clinic has taken to meet com-munity need has been met by an even greater demand for what it provides. Its first “acute care Saturday” in 2002 benefitted 15 patients. Realizing that many in need of help were there for den-tal issues, Trinity began offering those services the following year and was soon inundated with patients. At that point, it limited its help to those living in Hamilton County.

Soon eye care, podiatry, women’s health and a much-needed expansion came along, and the clinic was forced to go from a walk-in service to one that requires appointments.

“We keep evolving into who we are,” Charnoski said. “A signif-icant portion of our population does not have a medical ‘home,’ and this will continue in spite of whatever happens in healthcare nationwide. Our goal is for everyone who comes in to get seen.”

Part of that evolution has necessitated a “one strike and you’re

out” policy for those who miss appointments or follow-up exams, and according to Charnoski, there are very few no-shows.

“Our system is not an easy one, but it works,” Charnoski said. “And if someone is willing to work with our process they will get seen. But it is not like going to see your regular doctor.”

The process may be arduous at times, but the care is first-class.

Making first-class care freeSuccess and growth at Trinity is far from just a matter of in-

creased need. Those who offer their services to the facility are treat-ed with as much care and respect as the patients, and Charnoski goes to great lengths to see that no volunteer is over-burdened. Physicians schedule their own hours according to their preferences and most convenient availability. The medical support staff con-stantly recruits others to join them so the burn-out rate is kept low.

Each of these factors has kept the clinic running, growing and thriving in spite of the difficult economic times that have in-creased the need for such a facility.

But even with volunteers ready to serve, substantial fund-

ing is still needed to equip and operate the facility. In addition to grants, donations and two annual fundraisers, much of the financing comes from partnerships with hospitals, drug manufac-turers, local companies and the state.

Moving forward, offering moreOperating out of the OLMC “Matthew 25 Center” since June

has made many things possible for the clinic and its clientele. Still, the clinic is booked through February for many services.

To continue meeting the increasing need, Charnoski would like to expand mid-week appointments, monitoring and medication for hypertension, diabetes care, and increase the volunteer pool.

As more people learn about the clinic and request its services, Charnoski said more help will be needed to continue meeting this need.

“The more we can get the community involved, the more we can do,” she said. “We are here to serve.”

Largest in the countyThere are two other limited free clinics in Hamilton County – Heart and Soul in Westfield and Hope Family Clinic in Cicero. These clinics are open only two Saturdays per month, while Trinity is open daily during most weeks.

Trinity Free ClinicTrinity Free Clinic is on the campus of Our Lady of Carmel Catholic Church, 14598 Oak Ridge Road, Carmel, and is open to those of all faiths who re-side in Hamilton County, seven days a week. For much more information, including info on the clin-ic’s Jan. 28 Tailgate for Care fundraiser, visit www.trinityfreeclinic.org.

A mission from scriptureTrinity Free Clinic’s directive comes from the scrip-ture on the front of its building and drives all that takes place within their walls. “And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

Trinity Free Clinic is one of Carmel’s best-kept secrets

Views | Community | COVer stOry | education | Diversions | Anti-Aging | it’s Golden | Dough | in spirit | inside & Out | Pets | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds

With only seven paid employees, regular volunteers at Trinity Free Clinic recruit others to help keep the clinic properly staffed.

basile gift shop shop hours, Monday–saturday, 11 aM–4 pM

no trip to the Center is complete without visiting the new Basile Gift Shop. you’ll find a wide variety of musical gifts, apparel, compact discs and more.

basile café Café hours, Monday–saturday, 11 aM–2 pM

With a menu this tasty, why wait until the performance? stop by the Basile Café during lunchtime and enjoy a delicious salad, sandwich or wrap.

the michael feinstein great american songbook archive & gallery Gallery hours, Monday–friday, 11 aM–4 pM

The Michael Feinstein Great American Songbook Archive & Gallery is one of the greatest collections of music memorabilia ever assembled. the current exhibit, GI JIVE, features photographs and rare footage of the music and entertainers of World War ii.

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The fourth grade Carmel Dads’ Club All-Stars defeated Center Grove 16-0 earlier this month to win the Central Indiana Border Wars Youth Football Minor Championship.

Pictured, bottom row, left to right: Dawson Rider, Matthew Lubin, Aiden Ellison, Jackson Mitchell, Nick Schuster, Cade Kantz, Hunter Keip, Gabe Quiqley. Middle row, left to right: Alex Lemaich, Nick Yokas, Owen North, Logan Wien, Thor Kracht, Jaggert Lukowski, Peter Irbe, Max Engelking, Jonathon Hitchcock. Top row, left to right: Coaches Pat Rider, Fred Keip, Matt Quigley and Mark Lubin.

Carmel All-Stars win titleSubmitted photo


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[email protected] will be a rare fireworks display in Car-

mel next month.The city will be testing two potential new

launch sites for CarmelFest fireworks Dec. 14 at 8 p.m. CarmelFest chairman Jeff Worrell said the city will be testing two sites north of the Palladi-um – one that would shut down the Monon Trail on the day of next year’s fireworks presentation, and one that would not. A new location is being selected, Worrell said, to improve visibility of the

fireworks display for CarmelFest attendees.“Because of the changing landscape around

the city fountain area, we have had to keep moving our shoot site farther north,” Worrell said in an email. “For the folks at the gazebo, the shells are hard to see if they are not high enough …we will be testing site lines around the Palladium and at the gazebo.”

Worrell added that members of the Carmel Fire Dept. will be stationed at key locations to report on the visibility of each explosion.

City to test fireworks Dec. 14


Residents celebrated the start of the 2011 holiday season Nov. 19 at Carmel’s annual Holiday on the Square. The event at Civic Square featured a holiday lighting ceremony, live entertainment and a visit from Santa Claus. Those in attendance also had the opportunity to donate items toward the Carmel Fire Dept.’s Christmas Assistance Program.

Holiday kick-off

Photos by Maggie Godleski


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Backing into certain parking spaces in the city now could lead to a citation. The Carmel City Council last week unanimous-ly approved an ordinance prohibiting back-in parking at the self-park garage at The Center for the Performing Arts. But council members originally were not all in agreement that such an ordinance is necessary.

The ordinance, sponsored by Councilman Rick Sharp, was presented with the intention of eliminating the “12-point turns” that Sharp said are frequently completed in the garage, bringing traffic flow to a halt. Sharp said reverse parking is only an issue prior to events at the Center, but needed to be addressed nonetheless.

“The difficulty is when people are (backing into spaces) 15 minutes before an event begins in three different venues,” Sharp said. “That cre-ates a lot of anxiety.”

However, the ordinance came out of com-mittee and back to the council without a rec-

ommendation, as some members questioned if such an ordinance was really necessary. While acknowledging that back-in parking has created traffic flow issues in the Center garage, some councilors suggested that common sense alone could solve the problem.

“Why do we need an ordinance for this when we can probably just stick up a sign?” Council-man Joe Griffiths said.

Sharp said this approach would not resolve the issue.

“It does somewhat seem a comment of the times, to pass an ordinance to save us from our-selves,” he said. “The fact of the matter is that people are executing moves for which they are not properly trained…We can’t just put up a sign because then it cannot be enforced. And if it’s not enforced, then we cannot fix the problem.”

After being approved by the mayor, the or-dinance is now in effect. Sharp said in previous meetings, however, that signs will be posted in the garage and offenders likely would receive multiple warnings before tickets are issued.

Reverse parking now prohibited in arts center garage


Carmel City Council members wondered last Monday night why Frank Basile was not at City Hall to give a report to the council.

A presentation from Basile, the interim presi-dent and CEO of The Center for the Perform-ing Arts, was listed on the night’s agenda, but Basile said he was not scheduled to present his report until next month. Basile provided Cur-rent with a series of emails in which he is asked and agrees to give the Center’s quarterly report at the council’s Dec. 5 meeting.

In the email requesting his appearance, the council asks Basile to provide updates on,

among other items, fundraising, funding for the 2012 season, the Center’s progress toward an endowment and its internal audit.

Basile said Nov. 21 the audit is not complete but will be finished in two weeks from that time. Additionally, he said the foundation that runs the Center will select a search firm charged with finding its next president and CEO by the end of this month.

The audit has been under way since the July 29 resignation of Steven Libman, the Center’s former president and CEO, and was expected to be completed early in the fall. Basile could pres-ent the results of the audit at the Dec. 5 council meeting.

Basile: Audit will be completed in one week

Bob Knight coming to [email protected]

Tickets will go on sale Monday for “An Evening with Coach Bob Knight” at the Palladium.

The Center for the Performing Arts today announced that the for-mer Indiana University basketball coach and Hall of Fame inductee will come to the Palladium April 7.

According to the Center, Knight will share highlights of his career from start

to present day and discuss life and career events, his mentors, and stu-dents he has taught and coached. The event will begin at 7:30 p.m.

Tickets, starting at $53, will be available at the Palladium box of-fice, One Center Green, by phone at 843-3800 or online at www.The-CenterForThePerformingArts.org beginning at 6 a.m. on Dec. 5.

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David Bowden ConductorAngela Brown VocalistJoin us for a family-friendly performance featuring world-renowned soprano Angela Brown. Program includes traditional holiday favorites and an audience sing-along!

ST. VINCENT FOOD DRIVE!Please help St.Vincent Carmel Hospital and the CSO in stocking the food pantries in Hamilton County by bringing a non-perishable food item to the concert.

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graMMar lessOn By Brandie Bohney

Perhaps that headline is a bit of a hyperbole; this column will not end confusion in its entire-ty. It won’t even end the whole of grammatical confusion. It is, however, the end of the reader-suggested confused-words series.

I have three topics to cover this week. Two are a repeat of columns past (and they both follow the same general rule), and one is new to the Grammar Guru series. Let’s start with the new material, eh?

First up is the difference between stationary and stationery. I had a couple of readers email to ask about this one, and I had a third reader email with a terrific trick to remembering which is which. Reader Paula suggests that it is easy to remember that stationery (with an e) is the stuff you write on if you remember once it’s written on, you can send stationery (again, with an e) in an envelope (also with an e).

I don’t know any tricks to remember that sta-tionary (with an a) means still or immobile, but if you remember the envelope thing, you’ll be

able to whittle your options down.The other topic for today is the difference

between affect and effect and the difference be-tween accept and except. I’ve relatively recently covered this topic, but I continue to get ques-tions about both sets of words, so here it is again.

In both cases, the trick is the same: A = Ac-tion. Affect and accept are both verbs. Verbs generally indicate action, and both affect and accept begin with a, as does action. So in these two cases, a is for action. Effect is generally a noun, and except is generally a preposition or conjunction.

And there you have it: the end of your sug-gestions for confusing word pairs. Feel free to keep the emails coming, though! I’m happy to answer your grammar questions.

The end of confusion

Brandie Bohney is a grammar enthusiast and former English teacher. If you have a grammar-related question, please email her at [email protected].

» Scholarship application deadline approaching – The Carmel Arts Council will again present three literary arts scholarships totaling $2,250, but the deadline to apply is fast approaching. The scholarship application form and instructions can be downloaded at www.carmelartscouncil.org and must be postmarked by Dec. 9. Applicants must be graduating seniors who reside in Carmel with a GPA of at least 3.0. The winners will be announced at the 2012 Carmel Arts Council English Silver Tea, April 26 at the Ritz Charles.

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» Favorite recipes – Have a tasty holi-day recipe you’d be willing to share with the community? Current is looking for residents to submit their holiday recipes, which will run in editions throughout December. Recipes can be emailed to [email protected] and please include your name so we can give your culinary skills credit.

» ‘Arrested Development’ returning in 2013 – For the first time since “Arrested Development” was canceled in 2006, the dysfunctional Southern California clan will return for all new episodes. The show will be available exclusively to Netflix members beginning in 2013. The cult hit aired for three seasons, 2003-2006, on Fox and won an Emmy for best comedy.

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» Don’t refrigerate bread – Store bread in a cool, dry place, away from direct sunlight. Store your bread in a bread box if you have one, or keep the bread in its original packaging (whether plastic or paper). The shelf life of bread will vary by type but should keep anywhere from two days to a week. Whatever you do, don’t refrigerate your bread — refrigera-tion can actually cause the bread to stale faster.

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» First class getting better? – U.S. air-lines, profitable again after a disastrous decade, are spending almost $2 billion to upgrade amenities for their highest-paying customers. On the most profitable international routes, high fliers are being treated with preflight champagne, flat-screen TVs and seats that turn into beds. Flight attendants greet them by name, hang up jackets and serve meals on china. The lavish treatment is intended to create loyalty among passengers who do not shop based on price.

-Associated Press

» Site matches cocktails, music – There’s now a website that will suggest cocktails based on the music you hap-pen to be listening to. The site’s called Drinkify and creates drink suggestions by combining technologies from Echo Nest and music catalog Last.fm with a “proprietary Drinkify database.” This means that you can enter an artist name or a song title in order to receive a simple drink recipe. Entering “Johnny Cash,” for example, you might be told to combine some whiskey and honey.

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BeYOnD tHe sUnset By leonid Plotkin

Sometimes the journey is as interest-ing as the destination. “I travel not to go anywhere, but to go,” Robert Louis Stevenson famously wrote. “I travel for travel’s sake. The great affair is to move.”

My idea was to travel in the Peruvian Amazon, in that vast jungle region of eastern Peru — not to reach any place in particular, but just to go and see what the journey would bring.

It began easy enough — as a road-trip, descending down the eastern slope of the Andes. But two days into the journey the dirt road suddenly terminated in a wall of trees. It’s like that in the Amazon. At some point the jungle swallows the road, and the only way forward is by river. That’s where the problems began.

The river was there alright, and I had planned to catch a ride on a boat going downstream. But where were the boats? “Any boats head-ing downriver?” I asked around town. The pessimists shook their heads. A few optimists answered “Sometimes.” Many just laughed. It was discouraging.

For days I sat on the riverbank keeping a lookout. No boats came; but every afternoon the local school kids showed up. I watched them splash around in the river and fling mud at each other. I began to despair.

And then, one day, an angel appeared. Really!

His name was Angél — a government engi-neer in charge of a project to build a safe drink-ing water system in some villages downstream, and he was setting off in a convoy of four long-boats filled with cement. He agreed to take me along.

In the following days I sat in the middle of an overloaded vessel on a bag of cement, travel-ing down a tributary of a tributary of the great Amazon River: floating amidst forests old as time; hurtling though a narrow river gorge with whirlpools all around and waterfalls crashing down on us from every side; and spending eve-nings in villages with Indians by the fire drink-ing masato, an alcohol made from cassava.

And it was good just to be floating — going nowhere and somewhere.

Going nowhere and somewhere

Photo by Leonid Plotkin

Yine Indian girl in the Peruvian Amazon.

Views | Community | Cover story | education | DiVersiOns | Anti-Aging | it’s Golden | Dough | in spirit | inside & Out | Pets | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds


Did you ever wonder, while proceeding in near bumper-to-bumper traffic as you approach the stadium, how far some of your fellow drivers have driven on game day? My staff did parking lot surveys across the country and found that the average tailgater, for Division One college games, drove 79 miles. If you think about it, schools like Ohio State, Minnesota and Michigan have huge amounts of these drivers that only drive a handful of miles. This skews the averages to a lower num-ber. For schools like Indiana, Notre Dame and Purdue, the numbers would probably be much

higher.We interviewed a man who travels to all Illini

games from Philadelphia. Another Illini fan drives from Aspen. There’s a family that drives to IU from Traverse City, Mich., every game. I’ve met Notre Dame fans who drive from Pittsburgh. There are pictures on my website of North Carolina residents who drive to Wisconsin games. The draw, for all these college grads, is tailgating, football, and a love of the days of college.

You don’t have to be a Buckeye fan to enjoy these peanut butter tailgate treats.

Joe Drozda is a Carmel resident and an author about sports and food. You may contact him at [email protected] or visit www.tailgatershandbook.com.

The Scoop: For nearly a decade, Matteo’s Ristorante Italiano has been a cornerstone of downtown Noblesville. Elegance and tradition combine to give customers a truly fine dining experience. Plush décor, subtle lighting, and a rich sampling of both art and music from Italy provide an atmosphere of authenticity. Matteo’s also offers a menu that features the best of Italian cuisine providing a large assortment of favorites for both lunch and dinner. Matteo’s is prepared to meet the dining of needs of couples, families, large parties, and also offers off-sight catering.Type of Food: ItalianPrice of Entrees: $13 to $30Specialties: Italian dishesReservations: Not required, but appreciated

Matteo’s Ristorante Italiano

Smoking: Smoking not permittedDress: CasualHours: Lunch: 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Monday to Friday; Dinner: 5 to 10:30 p.m. Monday to Saturday and 4 to 9 p.m. Sunday.Phone: 774-9771Website: www.matteosindy.comAddress: 40 N. Ninth St., Noblesville

MexicocoaDaniel Bennett, general manager, RAM Restaurant & Brewery

Where do you like to eat? Stacked Pickle

What do you like to eat there? They’ve got the best fried pickles in the state!

What do you like about Stacked Pickle? I just love the atmosphere. It has really good atmosphere

Stacked Pickle is located at 11621 Fishers Station Dr., Fishers. They can be contacted at 578-1236 or www.stackedpickle.com.

Ingredients: 1 tbs. unsweetened cocoa powder; 1 tsp. cinnamon; Pinch of chili powder; Pinch of cayenne pepper; 3/4 cup Irish Creme; Splash of agave nectar; 1 oz. Silver tequila; PaprikaPreparation: In a saucepan over low heat add the cocoa powder, cinnamon, chili powder and cayenne pepper. Toast until spices begin to release their aromas. Slowly incorporate the Irish creme. Bring to simmer. Stir in the agave nectar and remove from the heat. Rim a mug with paprika. Pour in tequila. Add hot cocoa mixture.

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They come from near and far

Ingredients•1 1/2 cup favorite peanut butter•1/2 cup margarine•2 1/2 cups Powdered Sugar•1 tsp. vanilla•Melted Semi Sweet Chocolate Chips for coating

Directions: Mix peanut butter, margarine, va-nilla and sugar until semi-dry and crumbly. Form mixture into small balls the size of “Buckeyes”. Slowly dip the balls into chocolate to coat

leaving the top uncovered to resemble a buck-eye. Place the buckeyes on waxed paper and refrigerate. These are great for that sweet tooth at the tailgate and even better for the long drive home.

Granite: “It’s what’s for countertops.”Copyright 2011 Marble Uniques All Rights Reserved

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Show Times 8:00 PM : December 8, 9, 10, 15, 16, 17 20112:30 PM : December 11, 18, 2011

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LIVE MUSICMickey’s Irish Pub, 13644 N. Meridian St. For more information call 573-9746.

Friday – Aberdeen ProjectSaturday – Living Proof

Mo’s Irish Pub, 13193 Levinson Lane in the Hamilton Town Center, Noblesville. For more

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Moon Dog Tavern, 825 E 96th St., In-dianapolis, 46240. Call 575-6364 for more information.

Friday – Living ProofSaturday – Bobby Clark Band

Now to Dec. 20 – Continue a family tradition and take a hayride to the field to choose and cut your own Christmas tree during Stonycreek Farm’s Country Christmas, 11366 Ind. 38 East, Noblesville. You will also find a wide selection of freshly cut trees, fresh wreaths and garland at the greenhouse. For more information, call 773-3344 or visit www.stonycreekfarm.net.

Thursday – Celebrate the official welcome of the holiday season by joining family and friends as the town of Fishers lights the Holiday tree and decorations from 6:30 to 8 p.m. in front of Fish-ers Town Hall, 1 Municipal Dr. Enjoy a visit with Santa, caroling with Sister Cities’ Dickens Carol-ers, refreshments and other surprises.

Thursday to Dec. 31 – Tempt your taste buds as you stroll through a wonderland of gingerbread creations in all shapes and sizes at Gingerbread Village at Conner Prairie, 13400 Allisonville Rd.,

Fishers. Gingerbread village will be open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday and 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday. For more information, call 776-6006 or visit www.connerprairie.org.

Saturday – The Winter Market at Carmel City Center will feature 20 vendors from the Carmel Farmers Market from 9 a.m. to noon. The Win-ter Market will be held in a storefront at 719 Hanover Place on the interior of Carmel City Center, located on the southwest corner of City Center Drive and Rangeline Road. For more in-formation, visit www.carmelcitycenter.com.

Saturday – Come enjoy a festive Holiday Farmers Market with all the craft and food vendors from the Noblesville Farmers Market just in time for Christmas. The market will be held from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. in the Exhibition Halls at Hamilton County 4-H Grounds, 2003 Pleasant St., Noblesville. Admis-sion is $1 with no charge for children 10 and under.



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These cookies will be the highlight of your holiday cookie tray or the perfect gift for the Santa collector on your list.Ingredients: 1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened; 1 cup granulated sugar; 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel; 1 egg; 2 tablespoons milk; 2 cups Gold Medal all-purpose flour; 1 teaspoon baking powder; 1/2 teaspoon baking soda; 1/2 teaspoon salt; 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons Betty Crocker Rich & Creamy vanilla ready-to-spread frosting; 3 tablespoons red sugar; 18 miniature marshmallows; 36 currants or semisweet chocolate chips; 18 red cinnamon candies; 3/4 cup shredded coconutDirections Heat oven to 400 degrees. Beat butter, granulated sugar and lemon peel in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed, or mix with spoon. Stir in egg and milk. Stir in flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls about 3 inches apart

onto ungreased cookie sheet. Press bottom of drinking glass on each until about ¼ inch and 3 inches in diameter. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until light golden brown. Immediately remove from cookie sheet to wire rack. Cool completely, about 30 minutes. Spread frosting on cookie (frost and decorate each cookie before starting another). Sprinkle red sugar over top third of cookie for hat. Press on miniature marshmallow for tassel. Press 2 currants for eyes and 1 cinnamon candy for nose into center third of cookie. Sprinkle coconut over bottom third for beard.

-www.bettycrocker.com

Christmas cookies: Jolly Santas



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ny claims its upcoming concert will create new holiday memo-ries for all who attend.

Under the musical direction of Charles Conrad, IWS will perform a mix of traditional and contemporary Christmas and Hanukkah pieces including the world premiere of James Syler’s Fantasia on Silent Night during its Holiday Memories concert on Saturday night.

Carmel’s own award-winning vocalist Jessamyn Anderson will join the IWS this weekend as the featured soloist for this performance in the en-semble’s new home: the Palladium.

The performance will begin at 7:30 p.m. and include a lineup of holiday favorites including Irving Berlin’s White Christmas, Leroy Ander-son’s Sleigh Ride and Sammy Nestico’s Good Swing, among others.

Tickets may be purchased at the Palladium box office, by visiting www.thecenterfortheper-formingarts.org or calling 843-3800.

Carmel native to return for Palladium [email protected]

A Carmel High School graduate and former CHS Ambassador is returning home to celebrate the holiday season through music.

Jace Wittig, a 1999 CHS graduate and Carmel na-tive, is the assistant director of the nationally recognized Chanticleer choral group. The San Francisco-based, 12-man group will come to the Palladium Sunday for a concert in The Center for the Performing Arts’ holiday season at the 1,600-seat concert hall.

Chanticleer has won multiple Grammy Awards and is known as an “orchestra of voices” for the seamless blend of its twelve male voices

singing a multitude of styles, from Renaissance to contemporary.

“I think an ‘orchestra of voices’ is such an apt description because we have such a unique or-ganization and approach to music,” Wittig told the Center in a recent interview. “We spend a lot of time with a lot of different kinds of music, and never spend time just pounding out the parts like a traditional choir but try to let the music be a self sufficient process. We sing Gre-gorian chants, music of the Renaissance, jazz, gospel and folk. We try to not sound necessarily like a traditional choir, but like an ensemble of voices, or orchestra.”

Chanticleer will perform at 7 p.m. on Sunday at the Palladium. For tickets or more information, visit www.thecenterfortheperformingarts.org.

IWS to ‘create holiday memories’ in its new home

Wittig

Anderson



» Space out pregnancies – The ideal spac-ing between an older and younger sibling is at least two years — at least when it comes to intelligence. Older children who are born at least two years before a younger sibling’s debut are smarter, according to research that is due to be published in an upcoming issue of the Journal of Human Resources. They score higher on math and reading tests than children born closer together. Researchers at the University of Notre Dame looked at a data set of about 3,000 women who gave birth to 5,000 sibling pairs and found that expanding spacing by one year increases older siblings’ reading scores on the Peabody Individual Achievement Test by .17 standard deviations.

-www.time.com

» Beer for good heart health? – The bene-fits of a glass of wine in warding off heart dis-ease have been much discussed, but a new analysis indicates that some of those same benefits may be gleaned from a beer. Re-searchers analyzed 16 studies involving more than 200,000 participants and found that the heart disease risk for moderate beer drinkers – those who drank about a pint a day – was reduced 31 percent on average. And, as in the case of wine consumption, the

risk surged with an increase in alcohol intake.-www.livescience.com

» Red meat and cancer – There’s something about eating red meat—a lot of it—that seems to harm the intestines. Numerous studies have linked red-meat consumption to a higher risk of colorectal cancer, as well as diets heavy in processed, salted, smoked, or cured meats such as bacon, sausage, and hot dogs. If you just can’t live without red meat, limit yourself to two 4-ounce portions each week, but choose lean cuts, trim the fat, and don’t char it on a grill.

-www.health.com

» Relieve stress naturally – While pas-sionflower has long been considered a “folk remedy” for anxiety and insomnia, a few studies have shown that the herb may actually be comparable in effectiveness to benzodiazepine drugs, which are used to treat stress. Though not proven, it is believed that passionflower works by increasing levels of a chemical called gamma-aminobutyric acid in the brain. This lowers the activity of some brain cells, making you feel more re-laxed. Passionflower is available in a variety of forms, including infusions, teas, liquid ex-tracts and tinctures.

-www.foxnews.com

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Sperrins named new Riley Hospital president & CEO

By robert [email protected]

Community residents should take notice of Dr. Jeff Sperring’s career – STAT.

Earlier this month, Indiana Uni-versity Health named the Noblesville resident president and chief executive officer of Riley Hospital for Children at Indiana University Health. Sper-ring joined IU Health in 2002 and has served as chief medical officer of Riley since 2009.

“I love Riley,” he said. “This is one of those positions you could do for the rest of your life and feel like you made a difference.”

Sperring said his medical career started at a young age.

“I was one of the geeky kids,” he stated with a big grin. “I was in sixth or seventh grade when I decided I wanted to be a doctor. I was fascinated with health and the desire to help people.”

Sperring graduated from Emory University and received his medical degree from Vanderbilt University School of Medicine in 1995. Dur-ing their third year of medical school, doctors-in-training have rotations where they work in various medical field specialties. It was during that time Sperring knew he would become a pediatrician.

“It felt right,” he said. “It was obvious to me. It’s just the amazing courage kids have when they face their illness – it’s inspiring and makes you want to help as best as you can.”

Both of his grandfathers were career Army soldiers and Sperring joined the Navy during medical school. He completed his pediatric resi-dency at the Naval Medical Center San Diego and served as an officer in the United States Navy Medical Corps from 1995 to 2001.

“I saw it as a unique opportunity to learn medicine in a different way and to serve your country,” Sperring said.

Prior to joining the faculty at Riley, Sperring was a community pediatrician at the Robert E. Bush Naval Hospital in Twentynine Palms, Calif., and New Castle Pediatrics in New Castle,

Ind. When Sperring first joined IU Health, he was appointed director of the Pediatric Hospitalist Program for Methodist’s Children’s Pavilion as part of the Riley Children’s Health Partnership. He led the expansion of the program to IU Health North in 2005 and then both IU Health West and Riley at IU Health in 2007. Later that year, Sperring was

appointed associate chief medical officer at Riley at IU Health and assumed the position of chief medical officer.

“This was not in the career plans,” Sperring said. “No one goes to medical school to become a hospital president.”

As president and CEO, Sperring will be responsible for providing overall strategic di-rection and leadership for pediatric services throughout IU Health. This includes direct operational and strategic oversight of pediatric programs, services and facilities at Riley, along with shared program oversight for pediatric pro-grams based in the community hospitals.

“Riley already has a long and storied history but there is even more important and exciting work to come,” he said.

In his new role, Sperring believes Riley has the task of transforming children’s healthcare within the state.

“I believe we have a greater responsibility for kids and families in Indiana than just be-ing a hospital in downtown Indianapolis,” he explained of his vision as president and CEO. “I want Riley to become a health system, develop more of a network – expand services, open pe-diatrics offices. I don’t want patients to have to drive downtown to get their pediatric care.”

Despite his new role, Sperring said he is still a pediatrician – although the amount of hours he’ll wear his white coat and stethoscope will be limited.

“That’s not going to change. I’m always going to be a pediatrician. It’s who I am and a part of being a credible leader. People still need to see you in that role,” he said.

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Myers, displaying his meritorious service medal.

Fishers High School alum Bill Myers talks about honor, service with younger generation

By Jordan [email protected]

After his second trip over-the-hill last year, 80-year-old Bill Myers said he got to thinking about what was next on his to-do list.

The Fishers High School Class of 1948 alum, and current Noblesville resident, said he decided he “might like to talk to some young people” about the importance of heroes – something he gained an understanding of, he said, after 20 years of service in the U.S. Air Force.

Teachers at Myers’ alma mater were happy to help out; bringing Myers in to talk to more than 700 U.S. history, government and law education students for a Veterans Day celebration.

Myers said that, while he appreciated the opportunity, he wasn’t quite expecting such an enthusiastic turnout.

“I was scared to death of going down and talking to all those kids,” he said. “But, it was wonderful. It brought me back to see what young people are like. They paid attention and thanked me afterward … it was a great experience.”

Silent ServantS“Military heroes don’t talk about being he-

roes,” Myers said. “You get a medal, and no one ever sees it. I think people need to know that everyone in the military is a hero. And then there are decorated heroes. For every medal of honor (recipient), there are 15 people who did just as much, but nobody hears about it.”

Myers retired from the armed forces in 1972 as a master sergeant, 20 years after he enlisted in the Air Force. He earned his share of medals as well, including the meritorious service medal – awarded for outstanding meritorious non-combat achievement or service. At the time, the award was the highest honor given for “just doing your duties … just doing a real good

job,” Myers said.In his speech, Myers talked about Sgt. Alvin

York and 1st Lt. Audie Murphy, the most deco-rated men in WWI and WWII, respectively. Myers also told students about Marine Sgt. Da-kota Meyer, who received the Medal of Honor – only the third living recipient since the Viet-nam War – for his service in 2009 in the Kunar province of Iraq. Against orders, Myers said, Meyer rushed into hostile territory to evacu-ate 12 friendly wounded, and provided cover for another 24 Marines and soldiers to escape. Meyer was awarded the Medal of Honor for his service by President Barack Obama on Sept. 15 of this year.

“That tells kids what real heroes are,” Myers said. “You don’t plan to be one, and a lot of times, you don’t talk about it afterward.”

ConneCting the next generation

“I don’t know that today’s generation knows what war is like,” Myers said. “And war has changed a lot. Very definitely, I don’t think they know what military service is like.”

In 1951, when Myers enlisted in the Air

Force, the United States was engaged in the Korean War, and conscripted young men into the military. Enforced conscription, or the draft, was later abolished after its unpopularity during the Vietnam War.

According to Myers, though the draft was at times unpopular, it gave the general populace a personal connection to the military, and to wars the country was fighting.

“The military is more limited now,” he said. “In WWII and Korea, everyone knew someone who was in the service. Nowadays, I don’t think people even know that the war is still going on.”

Myers said he’s personally supportive of a two-year mandatory service period, either in the mili-

tary or another service-to-country program, for men and women directly after high school, which he said would help “build a bridge” between home life and college.

“After two years, they’d know whether they want to go to college or not, or if they should go to college or not,” Myers said. “And I think the government should help them go to college when they’re done. It’d be good for them, and good for the country.”

“Of course, not many mommas are go-ing to say that,” Myers added.

a SeCond retirementMyers retired from the military at

the age of 40, after the service took him

around the world: Hokkaido, Japan, Turkey, Denver, and Vandenberg Air Force Base in Cali-fornia, where he worked on the Atlas, Titan and Minuteman missile projects.

At 64, Myers retired again, this time from the postal service. Since then, he’s occupied himself with his family – wife of 61 years Peggy, son Michael and daughter Vicki (“They’re air force brats,” Myers said) – and his lifelong hobby: model railroading.

“I got up in an engine for the first time when I was 4 years old,” Myers said. “My daddy was a railroader, my uncles were. We used to live down by the tracks by the Nickel Plate in Fishers.”

Myers’ current project, a 34 square-foot mod-el he’s dubbed the “Mudsock Belt Railroad,” after his native Fishers, occupies much of his workshop – which he’s marked with a sign over the door declaring it the “Dog House.” Myers also keeps busy with his animals: a cat, dogs, a donkey, and three horses, which he calls his “daughters.”

Myers says he’s a regular guy who just did his duty in the service. But, he says, the important thing to remember is that heroes were, too.

“I dare say not one of the several hundred people who’ve gotten the Medal of Honor ever planned to get it,” Myers said. “They just had a situation that needed to be taken care of, and did what needed to be done.”

Myers was the Air Force’s top blood donor while serving in Hokkaido, Japan.


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HealtH By Jugnoo Husain

Almost everyone is familiar with diabetes, but may not have heard of pre-diabetes, a condition in which blood glucose levels are higher than normal, but are not yet high enough to be diag-nosed as full-blown diabetes. Pre-diabetes is also sometimes called impaired fasting glucose, or impaired glucose tolerance.

Pre-diabetes can be a precursor of type 2 diabetes, and is estimated to affect 79 million Americans. It usually occurs in middle-aged or older, overweight and sedentary adults, but is also increasing in overweight children. Because people with pre-diabetes often have no symptoms, most don’t know they have it. Screening for pre-diabe-tes is important because an estimated two-thirds of people with this condition are at high risk of developing type 2 diabetes within 10 years.

Diabetes is a group of diseases characterized by high blood glucose levels. There are two main types of diabetes: type 1 and type 2. In type 1, the body’s immune system destroys the pancre-atic cells that produce insulin. In type 2, the body either resists the effects of insulin (insulin resistance) or doesn’t produce enough insulin. Insulin is necessary for glucose to enter cells to be used for energy. Without insulin, the glucose accumulates in the blood, damaging blood ves-sels and nerves. Uncontrolled diabetes can lead to complications like heart disease, strokes, kid-

ney disease, blindness, impotence, amputations and death.

Some risk factors for both pre-diabetes and type 2 diabetes include age over 45, family history (genetic predisposition), non-white ancestry, a sedentary lifestyle, high blood pres-sure, high blood triglycerides and LDL (bad) cholesterol, a history of diabetes during preg-nancy, and being overweight or obese, especially around the abdomen.

The good news is that having pre-diabetes doesn’t mean that diabetes is inevitable. Progres-sion to type 2 diabetes can be avoided or de-layed by making lifestyle changes. Getting blood glucose screening, improving your diet, modest weight loss (5-10%), and moderate exercise, such as walking 30 minutes a day, can yield tremendous benefits. One study found that pre-diabetics reduced their risk of developing diabetes by 58% through such lifestyle changes. Although drugs are available, early intervention and lifestyle modifications remain the corner-stone of disease management because they are more effective than medications at reducing diabetes risk.

Dr. Jugnoo Husain is a board certified anatomic and clinical pathologist. She currently resides in Hamilton County. Dr. Husain can be reached at [email protected].

What did I come in here for? - How many times have you asked yourself that question after for-getting why you entered a room? It might not be old age. A new study suggests the simple act of passing through a doorway causes frustrat-ing memory lapses. When you go from room to room, your brain identifies each room as a new event and sets a new memory trace to capture the new event, University of Notre Dame said. The researchers found that subjects (college students) forgot more after walking through a doorway - whether it was real or virtual.

-www.cbsnews.com

Happier senior couples - Older married cou-ples who engage in sexual activity are more likely to be happy both with their relationship and their lives than those who have more in-frequent sex, according to new research. The research is based on the 2004 General Social Surveys, a nationally representative public opinion poll of English- and Spanish-speaking Americans ages 18 and older. Among the survey respondents were 238 married indi-viduals who were 65 and older.

-www.livescience.com

Phones for seniors - Clarity announced last week that supercenter chain Meijer will begin selling two of its amplified cordless phones designed and engineered to address age-re-lated health concerns. The phones were re-cently awarded the Ease-of-Use commenda-tion from the Arthritis Foundation. Meijer will

offer the Clarity D712 at a discount of $10 for $69.99 through Dec. 3 and the Clarity D702 at a discount of $5 for $47.99 between Dec. 4 and Jan. 31. Both phones address hearing loss, low vision, and limited mobility caused by arthritis, stroke or other conditions.

-www.marketwire.com

Margarine lowers cholesterol – Love butter but hate the unhealthy fat that comes with it? Switch to a margarine with plant sterols, such as Prom-ise activ or Benecol, to help lower cholesterol. Plant sterols are compounds that reduce choles-terol absorption. In April 2008, AJCN published a study that found that women who had a high-er plant sterol–based diet were able to lower total cholesterol by 3.5 percent.

-www.prevention.com

Weight loss a sign of Alzheimer’s? - Re-searchers shows middle-aged people have a higher long-term risk of developing Al-zheimer’s if they’re overweight, while older people have a lower risk if carrying excess weight. A new study in the journal Neurol-ogy found that non-overweight seniors who have no outward symptoms of Alzheimer’s are more likely than their heavier peers to have biological markers of the disease. This finding raises the possibility that weight loss or a low body mass index later in life may be an early warning sign of mental decline, the researchers say.

-www.health.com

Pre-diabetes a rising warning sign among adults

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In short, while the rest of the area is digging out—we‘ll be living it up! This could be you this winter, so call 317-733-9560 now and ask our Lifestyle Advisors about the benefits of living at The Stratford. By the first snow of this year—you’ll be glad you did!

HealtH By Dr. lauren Hendrickson

Hearing loss has always been a touchy subject within families. We all have at least one family member who will constantly ask for repetition or pretend they understand the conversation and respond inappropriately. However, if you comment about their hearing they become de-fensive, agitated, and come up with an excuse as to why they misunderstood. This is a very frustrating situation for both the family member with the hearing loss and the rest of the family trying to communicate with them.

New information is now available that has made it more important than ever to get that family member to an audiologist for a hearing evaluation. Recent research from two different studies has found a link between untreated hearing loss and an increased risk of developing dementia.

A study out of the University of Pennsylvania shows that declines in hearing ability may ac-celerate gray matter atrophy in auditory areas of the brain and increase the listening effort neces-sary for older adults to successfully comprehend speech. Basically, the brain matter in the listen-ing center of the brain begins to decrease in size as hearing loss progresses making it more and more difficult to understand speech. Once the

brain matter is gone, it cannot be regenerated. There are studies that demonstrate an increase in discrimination scores after amplification is introduced to an unaided ear.

The second study was a longitudinal study out of Johns Hopkins Hospital. They tracked 639 adults from 1990 to 2008. By the end of the study, 58 of them had developed dementia. The participants that had hearing loss from the begin-ning of the study were significantly more likely to develop dementia by the end. The researchers found that an untreated severe hearing loss placed participants at a fivefold greater risk of develop-ing the debilitating disease. Even a mild hearing loss placed participants at a twofold greater risk.

Any licensed audiologist can provide a com-prehensive hearing evaluation. Most insurance plans, including Medicare, will cover the cost of the exam as long as there is a doctor’s order. It is important to discuss your concerns with your physician and make an appointment to see your audiologist.

antI-agIngBy Marcia wilson

Did you notice that the gravitational force has become stronger over the years? How else can you explain going from “Pick yourself up and dust yourself off” to “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up?” We literally trip and stumble through life without worry, then suddenly, it’s serious business. A fall can be the difference between independence and dependence, home and nursing home, life and death. Whether it’s the statistics or the potential embarrassment, our confidence starts to waiver and so do we. Then we start restricting our activi-ties, thereby increasing our risk of falling.

While falls are more common in the older population, don’t even think about blaming it on “old age.” Most fall prevention initia-tives focus on environmental factors, which are important, but even if all the throw rugs are gone, the lighting is good, your eyes have been checked, medications adjusted and all the stars and planets are aligned, gravity happens! As long as gravity is in the mix we need to be on friendly terms with the ground, and that means learning to get down to the ground (on purpose) so we can practice getting back up. It is a lifetime skill we can’t afford to lose.

It takes confidence to be comfortable get-ting up and down, and confidence comes from knowledge, practice, strength, flexibility, range of motion and balance. As you build these skills not only are you less likely to fall, but if (when)

you do fall, your bones should be more resilient. Here is a safe, simple exercise to build leg

strength and practice getting near the floor without committing to time on the ground: Using a sturdy chair (or table), turn sideways so the chair is on your left. Place your right leg about 18 inches in front of your left leg in a forward-backward stride. With your left hand on the chair, keep your shoulders up and your back straight as you bend both knees, keeping your weight evenly distributed. Start out just bending the knees a little. Now come back up. Eventually the left knee should touch the floor, but it may take some practice. Now turn around and try it with the other leg in front. This is a great exercise to build strength and flexibility without overloading the knees, and just one of many ways to get up and down.

No excuses. It doesn’t matter how old you are or if you have issues with your knees, hips, shoulders or back. There are many ways to rise up from the floor, but it takes a little exercise and practice.

Gravity happens. Whether you’re upright or on the ground, the knowledge that you can get up is priceless!

Marcia Wilson holds an M.A. in gerontology and teaches exercise courses for aging adults in Fishers. Wilson can be reached at [email protected].

Lauren Hendrickson is a doctor of audiology with Northside Hearing Care. Hendrickson can be reached at [email protected].

Be prepared, gravity happens!

Untreated hearing loss linked to increased risk of dementia

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The study clearly showed that the telework group outperformed the in-office group by a wide margin -- about 15 percent -- and not just in aggregate work performed, but also in the overall quality of the output. Not only were workers more productive per unit time, but they worker longer hours, suffered fewer sick days, and even had less overall attrition.

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» Get in on government contracts – The cur-rent administration has increased the amount of government contracts provided to small business to 30 percent and is improving timely payment to terms of Net 60. Contact your local trade association to find out how to land gov-ernment contracts or check out the listings on the government’s website (www.fbo.gov).

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COMMentarY By David Cain

Nothing is ever as important later as you think it is when it happens. We are wired to assign the most emphasis to the things that are happening right now. Live events are the most important. Real-time is top of mind. The past is neatly archived to be accessible for future situations, but as for the right-now, we give it priority. It’s how we survive; you deal with current problems first. If someone is at your desk, they take priority over an email. And, as time passes, everything becomes less important. Everything fades away and is forgotten.

Our brains are designed to help us forget. Our brains archive things in a catalog of experiences that can be accessed when we need to decipher another situation. Let’s say you encounter a prob-lem that you don’t understand right away. Your brain will search through your memory looking for something that will help you make sense of your current problem. If you don’t have an exact match, you’ll find what’s close and draw conclu-sions from it. People with more experiences gen-erally get to better conclusions because they have a larger database of stimulus and response.

It’s easy to get caught up in the moment – it’s actually required. Historically, survival is achieved

by dealing with the moment, not the future. So your brain tells you to deal first with real-time. As a result, what is going on right now – the problems, the pains – will always seem more im-portant now as compared to the future when you look back at today. People are resilient, and you are designed to forget and move on. You are built for finding balance and not dwelling in the ups or downs. Instead, you snap back to equilibriuml, never spending too much time in the highs or

lows. This is the reason effec-

tive selling and marketing requires that you always be in front of your cus-

tomers. They are built to forget. They are built to move on. They are built to call on prior experi-ences to formulate conclusions about future ones. Luckily, that also means they are built to repeat the past. If you provide great experiences and per-sistent emphasis, you will enjoy greater success. If you remember that your customers only care about now, and thus deliver a great now, you’ll be more successful. If you remember that they won’t remember, you’ll be more successful.

Fantastically forgetful

David Cain works at MediaSauce, a digital media and online marketing company in Carmel. David wel-comes your questions or comments at [email protected].

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NL Industries Inc. (NL) – NL operates in the com-ponent products industry in the United States, Canada, and Taiwan and has a market cap of $648.15 million. Its dividend yield is at 3.75 percent; payout ratio is at 19.99 percent. Net insider shares purchased over the last six months are at 52.89K, which is 0.81 percent of the company’s 6.56 million share float. The stock is a short squeeze candidate, with a short float at 5.15 percent (equivalent to 10.09 days of average volume). The stock has gained 16.33 percent over the last year.A. Schulman, Inc. (SHLM) – SHLM is in the specialty chemicals industry and has a market cap of $617.48 million. Dividend yield is at 3.24 percent; payout ratio is at 47.29 percent. Net

insider shares purchased over the last six months are at 21.42K, which is 0.08 percent of the com-pany’s 28.38 million share float. The stock has had a good month, gaining 10.23 percent.Kronos Worldwide Inc. (KRO) – This company engages in the production and marketing of ti-tanium dioxide pigments in North America and Europe. Its market cap is $2.22 billion. Dividend yield is at 3.13 percent; payout ratio at 44.81 per-cent. Net insider shares purchased over the last six months are at 15.29K, which is 0.07 percent of the company’s 21.46 million share float. It’s been a rough recently for the stock, losing 13.47 percent in one week earlier this month.

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sPIrItUalItY By Bob walters

“Names don’t matter” is not a famous quote but it certainly is a common, politically correct sentiment in modern society.

Call things whatever you want, we say. Be open-minded. Don’t be tied down to “old” or “traditional” names for things. Be free and ex-press yourself however you want. Certainly we wouldn’t want to offend anyone so let’s not call people “names.” But hey, “What’s in a name?” (Romeo & Juliet, II, ii), anyway? And we all can recite the time-honored schoolyard taunt rebut-tal, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never harm me.”

Yet … “names don’t matter” is the exact op-posite of current social convention. Nothing in modern society matters more than names. Need proof? Just try calling Christmas “Christmas.”

You’ve likely noticed that we are currently amid the “Holiday Season:” season’s greetings, Black Fri-day, Cyber Monday, holiday music, Santa Claus, presents, school “holiday” shows, winter break, and all that. Yep, it’s the holidays, and it’s all legal.

The official federal holidays we celebrate in this “Holiday Season” are Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday of November, another one on December 25th, and New Year’s Day on January 1. This leads me to write the following joke:

“Can you name the 10 official U.S. Federal Holidays?”

“Nobody can! Because you can’t say ‘Christmas.’”

Yep, 10 official U.S. holidays. I looked it up. They are listed in Title 5 of U.S. Code Section 6103. The 10 federal holidays, exactly as they are recognized and named by the United States government, are: New Year’s Day, the Birthday of Martin Luther King, Washington’s Birthday (official name – really – not “President’s Day”), Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving Day, and, ahem, Christmas Day.

On Thanksgiving Day, names don’t matter. Leading up to Christmas Day, it seems, nothing else matters. As in, “Please, shop ‘til you drop and celebrate ‘til you pop but don’t call it Christmas!” At least … not in public.

Am I insensitive? On occasion – especially this occasion, Christmas – I suppose so. And yet, who is being insensitive? We strive mightily in current culture to be sure we don’t offend – with names – any person, any thing or any idea.

But it’s OK to offend, and even ignore, the name of Jesus Christ.

We’ll talk about that here over the next few weeks, without whining.

The Holiday above every holiday: Part one

BobWalters ([email protected]) is heading toward Philippians 2:9. And in the spirit of helpful Christmas shopping hints, look for Walters’ book “Common Christianity / Uncommon Commentary” at Amazon.com, ISBN 978-1-105-13454-8.

Tom Kendall is the chaplain of the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office and minister at Horizon Christian Fellowship. Contact him via e-mail at [email protected].

COMMentarYBy tom Kendall

It seems that one of the more difficult con-cepts for us, as Christians, is to try to compre-hend the triune nature of God. We have been taught, and know the Bible speaks of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, but it is difficult to wrap our minds around this concept that there is but one God with three distinct “persons.”

Let’s examine the first part of verse Genesis 1:27, where God said “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness.” In our initial observation, we see this is in quotes. If man has not yet been created, to whom is God speaking? Why does He use the plural terms “us” and “our?” We know that the Bible is abso-lutely true, so we must take this observation and examine the plurality of the properties of both God and the human He made in His image and likeness.

To get a better understanding of the triune nature of God, it may be easier to work back-ward from what we do know to what we are seeking to learn. We do know about how we are made. We have a body, a physical presence in this world, but we are different than all of the other “animals” God created and gave us

dominion over in the second half of verse 27. What is different about us is that, first of all, we have intellect: the ability to think, reason and act accordingly. We also know we have a “spiritual” nature to us. This “spirit” is often referred to as our “soul.” Although our spirit has no physical properties, we “know that we know” that it exists in us.

If we think of God the Father as the mind, or intellect of God, Jesus, the Son of God as the physical and the Holy Spirit as the Spirit of God, we can see how we possess the same three properties and are still one “person.” Since we are the “image” of God, made in His “likeness,” it becomes much easier to understand how there is but one God, with three “persons” or proper-ties. Even though He made us in his likeness, we are not “gods” nor have any other God-like properties. We know angels were created and have intellect and spirits, but no bodies. Ani-mals have bodies but no spirits.

We are, however, unique in His creation.

Understanding the TrinityViews | Community | Cover story | education | Diversions | Anti-Aging | it’s Golden | Dough | in sPirit | inside & Out | Pets | Laughs | Puzzles | Classifieds


Larry Greene is the president of Case Design/Remodeling, a full-service design/build firm serving Hamilton County. Contact him at [email protected].

COMMentarY By larry greene

ORIGINAL PATIO: This home was built in 2002 in the Centennial Subdivision in West-field. The current homeowner moved in about two years ago. According to the homeowner, “When I bought the house, I knew I wanted to eventually add a porch. There was a small con-crete slab and there just wasn’t any shade in the backyard.”

FAVORITE FEATURES: When asked what they like most about their new screened porch, they said, “Screen porches are livable space throughout the year. You can sit, read and eat without being bothered by bugs.” She even had a doggie door built-in for her pet. “The dog hasn’t quite figured out how to use it yet but we’re working on it,” she said.

PROPER FOUNDATION: The new porch struc-ture (approximately 240 square feet) was built with a proper foundation including compacted stone base and a 4-inch-thick concrete slab with broom finish. 12-inch-diameter concrete piers were in-stalled below each structural column to a depth below the frost line.

PORCH DETAILS: The porch was designed with maintenance free materials. James Hardie

fiber cement panels and cedar trim were used around the perimeter of the new porch. The knee walls include smooth Hardi-panels with cedar trim at approximately 24 inches high. New fiberglass screens were installed in each window along with a new screened door. The porch ceiling includes painted beaded plywood ceiling with cedar trim to conceal the joint pat-tern. The base molding is also cedar trim.

ELECTRICAL UPGRADES: The electrical up-grades include new weatherproof receptacles and a ceiling mounted ceiling fan/light with switch to control the light and fan. Finally two new

exterior mounted flood lights were installed.FINAL RESULT: The homeowner commented,

“The porch looks like it has always been part of the house. You cannot tell it was an addition. I’m very pleased with the end result.”

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-www.msnbc.com

DIsPatCHes Easing winter aches and painsPets By John Mikesell

What you can do – Don’t be too quick to dismiss your old dog’s inactivity or stiffness as normal for his age; he may have an acute condition that requires treatment. Have your older dog examined by your holistic veterinar-ian twice a year; discuss your dog’s diet and supplements with the vet at that time. Try an improved diet and natural, gentle treatment before using prescription pharmaceuticals. Vitamin C helps many dogs with arthritis; use sodium ascorbate, rather than ascorbic acid.

Diet is the key – Good quality protein – based on its digestibility and completeness of its amino acid composition – is at the nutritional core of arthritis prevention. However, many commercial dog foods (especially the inexpen-sive ones) are made with poor quality ingredi-ents. Whether you care for an arthritic elder or

are planning long-term prevention strategies for a new puppy, start feeding the best food you can afford right now. At the very least, avoid foods that utilize by-products (meat and grain) as their main ingredients, and those with chemical pre-servatives or artificial flavorings.

Enzymes and probiotics – It is also impor-tant to optimize the digestive elimination of the good food you feed. This is easily accomplished with a sprinkle or two of a digestive enzyme and probiotic supplement with each meal.

Essential fatty acids – It is also important to supplement each meal with an essential fatty acid (EFA) supplement that is balanced to meet the nutritional needs of dogs. The best will con-tain both vegetable oils and whole body fish oils.

Going with glucosamine – If, like my dog Karma, your companion is already experi-encing the effects of old injuries or chronic arthritis, you should consider a few other

supplements as well. At the top of the list is glucosamine. As a bare minimum, most dogs will need at least 350mg of glucosamine per day to realize the benefits of the supplement, but those with preexisting joint problems may need considerably more.

Herbs and joint repair – You might also consider adding a few herbs to the mix, to help your canine pal heal and find relief from his aching. Yucca root (Yucca Shadier)), alfalfa, licorice root and other herbs that contain rich concentrations of phytosterols and other anti-inflammatory compounds are among the most popular of the herbal anti-arthritics.

Last but not least – The next thing to bring into action is the proper type and amount of exercise. It is very important that like any ath-lete, he or she needs to stretch and warm up before any strenuous exercise. Stiff joints and sleepy muscles are easily injured

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laUgHs By Mike redmond

A round of applause, please, for Margaret Ellen Moores, a Canadian woman who re-cently made headlines, and not just because she reached her 106th birthday.

No, what made Margaret’s story so great was the gleeful way she has lived her life to acquire all those 106 years, at least when it comes to her diet.

We’ve all hear the stories about people who lived to ripe old ages by existing on salads and spring water. Then along comes Margaret, hit-ting 106 years and getting there eating sweets, salted beef, pizza and French fries.

You go, girl. I mean ma’am.She’s not alone, either. The story about her men-

tioned these other examples of centenarian diets:• Elizabeth (“Ma Pampo”) Israel, who lived

to be 128 years old in the Dominican Re-public, attributed her longevity to her diet of eating lots of dumplings and drinking bush tea.

• Gertrude Baines, 114, said she enjoyed life’s simple pleasures such as crispy bacon, sweets and Jerry Springer.

Of course, cases like these are the exception, not the rule. They shouldn’t be taken as an ex-ample for the rest of us:

“I can drink all I want. Great-aunt Heloise drank a pint of gin every day and she lived to a ripe old age.” Of course she lived to a ripe old age – she was pickled.

The fact is, some people live longer than oth-ers, regardless of what they eat and what they watch on TV. I know people who deny them-selves all kinds of pleasures and wear themselves out with exercise in an effort to live longer.

That’s all right, for them, I guess, but I couldn’t do it. A life given over to a Spartan diet and physical punishment doesn’t strike me as much fun. In fact, it sounds miserable. Why would I want it to last longer?

Margaret’s explanation for her longevity was that it simply wasn’t up to her, but to a higher authority.

“He put me here, I suppose, and that was it. I had to stay till I went,” she said. “After being to the door a few times ... He told me to go away, there was no place there for me yet.”

I think the idea is to live as well as you can with the time you have – and by living well, I don’t just mean bacon and chocolate and par-ties. I mean being a decent person, too, and working hard. Have a good life and figure that the length of it isn’t your call.

Although just to be sure, I think I’ll go get a pizza and fries. But I’m skipping Springer. Life’s too short.

Pizza, Springer keys to long life?

Mike Redmond is an author, journalist, humorist and speaker. Write him at [email protected] or P.O. Box 44385, Indianapolis, IN 46244.

Attorneys for Families & Business • PersonalInjury • Adoption • Wills,Trusts&Estates • CriminalLaw • Divorce&FamilyLaw • DrunkDriving • Business&Corporate • Planning&Zoning • RealEstate • Litigation • Contracts • Bankruptcy

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laUgHs By Dick wolfsie

Ouch!Ow!Ooh, that really hurts…Please stop. Are you trying to kill me?We can all agree that having a lousy dentist

can be an agonizing experience. But I don’t have a lousy dentist; I have a very good one. The only yelp ever heard at one of my appointments was Dr. Smith’s when I bit his finger.

Now, my massage therapist is a totally differ-ent story. She is not simply good. She is superb.

“Does that hurt?” she’ll ask.“Yes, just a little.”“How about this?”“A lot: that hurts a whole lot.”“Good. Now we’re getting somewhere.”I try to see her about once a month because I

spend several hours each day sitting in front of my computer. As a reader of this column, you realize just how painful the results of that can be. I’ve tried everything to relieve my neck and back soreness: a chiropractor, an acupuncturist, a physical therapist, even a ghost writer, but nothing has worked.

My massage therapist’s name, by the way, is Dee. Her business is called Touch by an Angel, but you have to go through a little hell in order to get to the heavenly part. I think she should change the name of her business to DEE…P Massage, but I am literally in no position to have a normal

conversation with her, because I’d be talking to the carpet. Each session begins with me lying on my belly with my head in this device at the end of the massage table. Do you know what this contraption is called? It’s a face cradle, which ex-plains why after about two minutes of DEE…P massage, I’m wailing like a baby.

Dee is a big fan of water. Lots of water. She thinks many of my problems come from not be-ing properly hydrated. She suggested I drink 10 glasses of H2O a day, and it has actually helped my back! I am in the bathroom so much now that I don’t get to sit in front of the computer for any stretch of time.

After the last session, I mentioned to Dee that the next time I get a massage, I’d like a relaxing therapeutic experience rather than the DEE..P kind that can be excruciating at times. Dee thought that sounded like a wonderful idea, “But who’s going to give it to you?” she asked.

When I left the other day I gave her a copy of my new book. Why wouldn’t I? She’s not only been an excellent health care provider, but a loyal friend. “Thanks, Dee,” I wrote, “You al-ways have my back.”

The medium is the massage

Dick Wolfsie is an author, columnist, and speaker. Contact him at [email protected].

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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

14 15 16

17 18 19

20 21 22 23

24 25

26 27 28 29 30 31 32

33 34

35 36

37 38

39 40 41 42 43

44 45 46 47 48

49 50 51 52 53 54 55

56 57 58 59

60 61 62

63 64 65

1) Popular Candy Bar (2)

___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

2) Main Indy Street (3)

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3) Penguin Movie (3)

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HARVARD,

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BALLARD

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__________________ __________________

__________________ __________________

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November 29, 2011