November 2014 8th anniversary issue

The power of spiritual intimacy

Feng shui to enhance love

Anything can be healedp72 p32 p48

Your personal answer to the ultimate question

ISSN 2277 – 5153 VOL IX ISSUE 01 NOVEMBER 2014 `100

Winner of theMedscape India

award 2012

“Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.” — Viktor Frankl

8th anniversary issue

?Whyam Ihere

p36

infinitemanoj

ManojKhatri

Manoj [email protected]

Editor’s insights

M any years ago, when I was still pursuing graduation, a friend

lent me a copy of It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It by Robert

Fulghum, whose uncomplicated outlook on life, together with

his fresh and funny style of writing, quickly made him one of my

favourite authors. Over the years, his books made a profound

impression on me, besides infl uencing my writing.

In the aforementioned book, there was a chapter on how we mix up our

identities with the work we do professionally. It was a hilarious read—so funny

that I laughed at nearly every sentence. And yet, there was also a very powerful

message contained that made me question my priorities. Fulghum wrote, “I

o en say that I don’t worry about the meaning of life—I can’t handle that big

stuff . What concerns me is the meaning in life—day by day, hour by hour, while

I’m doing whatever it is that I do. What counts is not what I do, but how I think

about myself while I’m doing it.”

These words of Fulghum sum up the essence of our 8th anniversary issue.

No ma er what anyone does, we are all yearning to live a life of meaning.

But, there is no formula to decode life, nor is there any universal meaning of

life—that single answer to the great quest of humankind. Meaning is personal

and comes from within each individual. That is what Alex Pa akos and Elaine

Dundon, two bestselling authors, have come together to help you understand.

“Meaning is the life energy or fuel that motivates us to achieve our highest

potential as human beings. In fact, meaning is an integral part of our innate

humanness, and it is the search for meaning, our primary intrinsic motivation,

that distinguishes us from other living entities,” they write as they share

practical ideas to help you to discover, and apply, meaning in your everyday

life and work.

I urge you to read this month’s cover story slowly, and then read it again.

Absorb its message fully. It contains pointers that will help you answer the

ultimate question we all ask. And once you fi nd your own unique answer

to this question, your life will be fi lled with the only wealth that counts—

meaning.

The wealth that counts

There is no formula to decode life, nor is there any universal meaning of life—that single answer to the great quest of humankind

02 NOVEMBER 2014 VOL IX ISSUE 01 COMPLETE WELLBEING

EDITOR & PUBLISHER | Manoj Khatri

CONSULTING EDITOR | Dr Grazilia Almeida-Khatri

SR COPY EDITOR & FEATURES WRITER | Wynrica Gonsalves

EDITORIAL COORDINATOR | Joycelin Sequeira

ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR | Amit Amdekar

SR GRAPHIC DESIGNER | Mukesh Patel

EDITORIAL OFFICE502, A wing, Sagar Tech Plaza,Saki Naka Junction, Andheri-Kurla Road, Mumbai 400072. Tel/Fax: 022-6742 0900 E-mail: [email protected]

EA TO PUBLISHER | Vidhu Marar

CONSULTANT | Rahul Baji

ADVERTISING SALES | M ShankarE-mail: [email protected]

BULK SUBSCRIPTIONSCall: 022-6742 0900SMS: ‘CW BULK’ to 7738387787E-mail: [email protected]: 022-6742 0900SMS: ‘CW SUB’ to 7738387787E-mail: [email protected]

PRINTED AT | Rajhans Enterprises

PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY | Manoj Khatri, on behalf of Complete Wellbeing Publishing Pvt Ltd., at Rajhans Enterprises, No. 134,4th Main Road, Industrial Town, Rajajinagar, Bangalore - 560044, and published from Complete Wellbeing Publishing Pvt. Ltd., 502, A wing, Sagar Tech Plaza,Saki Naka Junction, Andheri-Kurla Road, Mumbai 400072. Tel/Fax: 022-6742 0900 Editor: Manoj Khatri

© Complete Wellbeing Publishing Pvt Ltd.,All rights reserved. Reproduction, in part or in whole, in print, electronic or any other form, is strictly prohibited.

DISCLAIMER | Complete Wellbeing is dedicated to providing useful, well-researched information on holistic health/wellbeing, but its contents are not intended to provide medical advice/diagnosis for individual problems or circumstances, or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Readers are advised to always consult their physician/healthcare professional/therapist, prior to starting any new remedy, therapy or treatment, or practice, or with any questions they may have regarding a medical/health condition.

The views expressed by writers are their own and do not necessarily refl ect the views of the editor, publisher, or Complete Wellbeing.

Using masculine pronouns ‘he’, ‘him’ or ‘his’ for subjects of unknown gender is considered prejudicial. We respect both genders and hence use feminine and masculine pronouns interchangeably.

Complete Wellbeing is not responsible foradvertising claims.

Vol IX Issue 01 NOV 2014www.completewellbeing.com

RN

I No.

MA

HE

NG

/200

6/21

415

SUMMARY/CompleteWellbeing /StayWell

O F C O N T E N T S

36

TRENDING THIS MONTH >>

Find meaning in your lifeBy Elaine Dundon and Alex Pattakos

DISCOVER >>Marriage & intimacy32 How feng shui can energise

your marriageBy Anand Bhardwaj

Self-help78 If I could do it, so can you

By Ramgopal Vallath

Anniversary

th

Health & vitality60 Common workout injuries

By Yajuvendra Gawai

Relationships70 Guide the young as they test

life’s watersBy Pallavi Choudhury Tripathi

MANAGE >>

COMPLETE WELLBEING VOL IX ISSUE 01 NOVEMBER 2014 03

56

08 Talkback

10 Events

14 Write notes

18 Happy happenings

28 Month freshener

64 Culture club

84 Confession booth

97 New kits on the block

REGULARS >>

RESOLVE >>Marriage & intimacy72 Can intimacy be spiritual too?

By John Amodeo

Self-help82 Stop listening, start acting

By Malti Bhojwani

UNLEARN >>Money matters54 Things you have to teach your

kids about financeBy Manoj Arora

UNWIND >>Humour86 World’s most bizarre laws

By Sahil Shah

TRANSFORM >>Consciousness30 Go meatless for a day

By JP Vaswani

48 Anything can be healedBy Martin Brofman

56 Enlightenment is a daily choiceBy Jim Tolles

EXPLORE >>Food & nutrition66 Unique sweet potato recipes

By Anjali Pathak

Travel92 The enchanting Pangi Valley

By Rishad Saam Mehta

DECIDE >>Career & workplace75 Don’t let your work kill you

By Tom Rath

86

72

75


Happy happenings

References: www.goodnewsnetwork.org, www.thebetterindia.com, www.sunnyskyz.com, www.facebook.com/logical.indian

If you have an inspiring or heart-touching story or incident to share,

email us at [email protected] and we’ll publish your story here.

THERE ARE MANY WHO ARE BORN with severe disabilities but how many turn their disability into an opportunity to empower others? Poonam Shroti from Bhopal suffering from Osteogenesis Imperfecta [brittle bone disease] has achieved things that even ‘normal’ people would find challenging. Despite her disability, she attended a regular school, completed her graduation in Commerce and also got an MBA in Finance with a Post Graduate Diploma in Personnel Management. However, she still struggled to find a job even after being so qualified. She was finally recruited by an HR firm where she worked for six years until she realised that she had not progressed to the top and wanted to break free from her routine job. With the support and help from her friends and family, she quit her job and started Uddip, an organisation for the empowerment of the physically challenged. She is also focusing on other areas like blood donations; apart from this she hopes to make women in rural areas self sufficient by providing them with livelihood options. She says, “If one’s willpower is strong, one is propelled into action and when one takes that action, the path ahead becomes clearer.”

Physically-disabled woman achieves a giant stature with her deeds

Pic

: Lic

ense

d un

der [

CC

BY

2.0]

from

Tod

d [f

lickr

]P

ic fo

r rep

rese

ntat

iona

l pur

pose

onl

y


KATY EVANS’ WATER BAG broke when she was

just 16 weeks pregnant. The doctors suggested an

abortion saying that her unborn baby had only

a one per cent chance of survival. She, however,

refused to get an abortion and said that she wanted

nature to take its course. She stayed positive,

researched about such situations, joined support

groups on Facebook, took suggestions from other

moms and eventually learnt that the chances of sur-

vival might be much higher than what her doctors

had told her. When she went for a scan two weeks

a er the incident, it was revealed that the waters

had replenished in her womb a er the ruptures

were healed. As warned, her waters broke again at

almost 34 weeks of pregnancy and she gave birth to

a miracle baby weighing 4lbs 13oz [approx 2.1 kg].

“We feel unbelievably lucky. We’re all so blessed

and grateful to have him. He’s a very special li le

boy,” said Evans.

Mom gives birth to miracle baby even after doctors suggest abortion

marriage & intimacyDiscover


Use feng shui to a ract love and strengthen your marital bond By Anand Bhardwaj

YOUR HOME IS the haven that nurtures the

bond between you and your partner. These

feng shui ideas for your home, especially the

bedroom, will help enhance the fl ow of chi

between the two of you.

Remove clu er from your bedroomYour bedroom should be a calm place where

you can unwind. Clu er congests the energy

LOVE by

DESIGN

Anand Bhardwaj is a consultant on vastu shastra, fengshui and past life regression. He is the founder director of International Institute of Vaidic Culture.

of the area and a messy bedroom does not

help to create a romantic atmosphere. If

you want to get married or a ract the right

partner, prepare by ge ing rid of unnecessary

items in your bedroom. At a symbolic level,

this is indicative of you making space in your

life for your partner. If you are already mar-

ried, you and your partner should make sure

that the space that you exclusively share [the

bedroom] is neat and organised. This ensures

order in your relationship as well.

Bed feng shuiEnsure that there is equal space between

the bed and the walls on both sides of the

bed. This allows the chi to circulate in the

area. Avoid placing the bed in the corner

of the room adjoining the walls. Beds with

storage drawers underneath them are bad

feng shui as they do not allow the chi to fl ow.

Avoid having a single night stand; have two

night stands and place them on either side of

the bed as this helps to ground and balance

the energy.

Colours of lovePink is the colour of romance in feng shui.

However that doesn’t mean that you need to

drown your home in shades of pink. While

painting the walls with pink does increase the

love energy, if it’s not your colour, you can

use it in lesser amounts like for accent pieces,

carpets or cushions. Yellow, purple, red

and white will also work to boost the chi of

the place.

Avoid dark-coloured furniture and linen in

the bedroom. Excess black, brown and other

dull shades bring negativity to the room,

hence they should be avoided.

Light the sparkA well-lit room exudes positive energy.

Create ample lighting with a mix of yellow

and white light. Light is the physical

manifestation of the sun and its energy,

so you need to maintain a balance with

the lighting in your home. A room that

is too dark can be depressing, but avoid

having excessively lit bedroom as too much

brightness will impede your relaxation.

Anniversary

th

Love stoneA rose quartz is a

pink-coloured natural

stone [also called the

love stone] and is

thought to augment the eff ects of

love energy. It is used in feng shui to fi nd and

keep a partner. The energy

of a rose quartz is said to heal one’s heart

from pain.

Hang them near the windows, on the night

stand or on the entrance door of the bedroom.

To keep your relationship strong, use a glass

bowl with two rose quartz balls touching

each other.

Wearing a pendant, a ring or a bracelet

made with rose quartz will make your part-

ner more desirable to you and vice versa.

FlowersIn feng shui it is not the

rose that is the symbol of

romance, but the peony. It

is used to keep infi delity

away. To keep your mar-

riage strong, place a pic-

ture of peonies on the wall

just in front of your bed.

Red fl owers also revitalise

your love energy.

Symbols of romanceTo heighten your love chi, use a pair of

Mandarin Ducks. These must be kept facing

in the same direction and preferably near

the head of the bed. Mandarin ducks mate

for life, so they are used in feng shui to depict

commitment.

Besides Mandarin ducks, showpieces of

birds like swans, turtle-doves, love birds or

eagles can be used since they too mate for

life. Always keep

these showpieces

in pairs as this is

symbolic of your

devotion to you

partner.

The endless

knot is another

feng shui cure that

can be used near the bed. In Buddhism, the

endless knot is one of the eight auspicious

objects. This symbol implies there is no

beginning and no end and it represents the

harmonious fl ow of energy with no setbacks,

misfortunes and accidents.

Heart shaped pillows, showpieces and

fl ower vases are good for the fl ow of chi when

used in the bedroom and surroundings.

ArtworkDecorate the bedroom, lobby and drawing

room with photographs or paintings of danc-

ers, musicians or couples. Avoid pictures of

single people, deso-

late landscapes or

any artwork that is

melancholic.

The phoenix is

the Chinese symbol

of celebration;

wearing an

ornament with a

phoenix or pu ing

up a small painting

of a phoenix increases chi. But if you use this

type of painting, it should be red-oriented

and hung on the southern wall.

Gi sNever exchange gi s like scissors, blades,

knives, tonics, kerchiefs or tragic novels as

these are symbolic of negative energy.

Subtle feng shuiA ending marriage ceremonies, functions

and festivals also increases love energy since

they all symbolise happiness. The energy of

these events then spreads into our lives.

One of the best feng shui cures to activate

your love energy is the ‘Visualising Exercise’.

In this exercise, visualise what you desire

as if it is taking place genuinely. People

may call it day-dreaming, but concentrat-

ing on a particular desire may also activate

luck in that area of your life and o en

yields the desired results.

4

3

2

1

PICTURE CREDITS

1 CC BY 2.0 by Nozomi

2 CC BY-ND 2.0 by Trisha

3 A phoenix depicted in a book of mythological creatures by FJ Bertuch (1747–1822)

4 CC BY 2.0 by Holly Occhipinti

To subscribe to Complete Wellbeing, send ‘CW SUB’ to 07738387787


Sever the strings of darkness

consciousnessTransform


Living an enlightened life is a simple and sane ma er; all you need to do is cut the cords that are holding you back


By Jim Tolles

LIVING AN ENLIGHTENED life sounds

like a grand undertaking, but in reality it

is actually very simple. It means to be here

now and to know yourself. That’s basically

it. From there, it gets easier and easier to un-

derstand why you are the way you are and

why you do the things you do. In turn, this

allows you to make truly conscious choices

in your life. Until you have that aspiration

to focus on the present moment and under-

stand yourself, you can be easily swayed and

manipulated by your hidden fears, other

people, and the many social, economic and

political currents swirling around in life. As

such, living an enlightened life isn’t just a

noble spiritual ideal; it’s a requirement if you

want to really live.

A puppet on stringsMost people don’t realise that they’re essen-

tially a puppet. They don’t realise that they’re

a ached to many, many kinds of strings.

These strings are social beliefs, emotional

traumas, biological instincts and much more;

but o en they are complete mysteries to most

people. However, when one of the strings

pulls on an arm, the arm immediately reacts.

For example, a young girl is insulted in

school about the red shirt she is wearing. She

doesn’t know why, but she instantly smacks

the other girl’s face for the aff ront; it is com-

pletely reactive, and she thinks it’s because of

the insult. In truth, it has to do with her lack

of self-worth, which is connected to a deeper

fi ght or fl ight survival mechanism. An ensu-

ing fi ght creates more turbulence in both girls’

lives, and that creates additional pain and

suff ering for them, people at the school and

their families. Later on, when asked about

why she did what she did, this girl says, “I

don’t know.”

These reactions happen for a lot of people

in many situations because this is reactionary

nature and it doesn’t stay limited to child-

hood and school life. It ripples upwards

to heads of nations and states. Heads of

countries feel slighted, so they cut off trade

with other countries. Or worse still, they go

to war. Imagined slights become real issues

that become death and atrocity. It’s a horrible

state of life that keeps happening over and

over again, but it always begins at the level of

the individual and how their strings are tied

around them.

Identifying the strings in your lifeI never say that living an enlightened life will

be easy. Instead, dedicating ourselves to the

spiritual path helps us to see where we make

life hard for ourselves. When we address that,

then things get easier within ourselves. The

external world may still be very challenging,

but at least we are no longer reacting mind-

lessly to the stimuli, insults and obstacles that

are thrown our way. We do this by identify-

ing the strings that are manipulating us. In

general, I’d categorise these strings as:

>> Biological and genetic

>> Emotional

>> Mental

>> Subtle energy

The biological strings are simply the core

animal instincts that still operate in us. They

are mainly concerned with survival and

procreation to continue the species. Many

people are completely overwhelmed by these

impulses, and they tend to be part of the

backbone of many of our core fears and

issues. For instance, money gets tied up with

a fear of survival. We feel like we won’t be

able to survive without money. As such,

people can become incredibly fearful if they

ever feel like they’ll lose their job. When this

core fear tugs on someone, a person can react

in very poor ways.

The genetic aspect is where we have

diff erences from one person to another.

For instance, one person may have more

biochemical imbalance that tends towards

a depressive personality. This is simply

something one must account for and

understand as part of what is infl uencing

their lives. How to be without reaction is

something we need to learn.

The emotional level is where a lot of our

raw and most basic feelings are. They are not

really separate from any other levels. You’ll

notice as you do your self-introspection that

these strings are tied up into a big bundle. But

Anniversary

th


they can be addressed separately as you begin

to understand how these things all interact

within you. As such, a primal concern around

survival such as the losing your job example

can ignite a lot of fear, but living an enlight-

ened life means that we learn to simply watch

our inner reaction rather than to take action

upon it. If we believe in the fear, it becomes 10

times worse.

The mental level is home to all of our stories

about ourselves, about our families, and about

how we think our lives should go. It is built

out of the ideas and pa erns that we learned

as children from our families and society as

a whole. It is the home of the ego, which we

have usually learned to defend at all costs. All

kinds of beliefs and ideas are collected here

that are trying to serve diff erent purposes.

Until we explore them, we don’t really know

why we are doing what we are doing.

The subtle energy fi eld has many interest-

ing energetic connections, and it’s usually the

one that we deal with last as the other three

are already a huge amount of self-work. It’s

enough to say that we are energy, and we

are all interconnected. Those of you who are

naturally sensitive to energy will fi nd that

you can learn a lot about yourself by noticing

how diff erent places and people aff ect your

mood. When they do, you know that a subtle

energy string is pulling on you and creating

a reaction.

Cultivating non-reactionThe fi rst steps to cu ing the strings and fi nd-

ing your core issues are being present and

having the desire to know yourself. A er that,

it is important to practise being non-reac-

tive. I am sure that life will off er you plenty

of opportunities to be either upset or excited

about something. Both ‘positive’ and ‘nega-

tive’ feelings should be watched. You can

ask yourself simple questions such as “Why

does this make me happy?” and “Why does

this make me unhappy?” I am not saying to

have no emotions at all and be a robot. I am

encouraging you to be curious about how and

why you behave the way you do. Until now,

this was probably an invisible process, so this

step is an important one.

As you go, you’ll probably notice a lot of

unhealthy behaviour pa erns. This is good

news. Before you couldn’t see them, now you

can. I o en outline the most basic steps on

healing these issues as follows:

>> Identify

>> Accept

>> Embrace

>> Let go

When you can identify something, you can

then accept it. Embracing it means to under-

stand the story or feel the feeling. Le ing it go

means just that. Once you’ve deeply under-

stood something, releasing it is natural, so

that new space within you can open up.

Deeper openings lead to deeper understandingsThe more open we are, the more we can see

about ourselves and others. This is a crucial

thing in these times when so much informa-

tion is coming at us so quickly. A lot of stuff

has sped up, and this is why it’s important

to slow down. Bringing our awareness more

fi rmly into this moment allows us to see clear-

ly and, as we continue to open, it tends to get

easier to know what needs to be done in any

given moment. It also tends to be easier to let

go of things that do not serve us and to not

get caught up in minor squabbles with others.

In time, this just becomes how you live, and

it’s not really a big deal.

Living an enlightened life, as I said in the

beginning, is quite simple and quite sane. It

isn’t anything extraordinary. If anything, it

is about fi nally accepting the ordinary and

everything else exactly as it is and continuing

to learn about yourself so that you can enjoy

this present moment—whatever it is—to

the fullest.

Jim Tolles is a spiritual teacher, healer, and writer. He is the author of the ebook: Everyday Spirituality: Cultivating an Awakening. He teaches students via online video conversations, and he blogs at www.spiritualawakeningprocess.com.

To subscribe to Complete Wellbeing, send ‘CW SUB’ to 07738387787

November 2014

MY NOTE

SUN

30

SAT

29

SUN

16

SAT

22

SAT

15

FRI

28

MON

24

FRI

21

FRI

14

THU

27

SUN

9

SUN

23

THU

20

THU

13

WED

26

WED

12

WED

19

TUE

25

TUE

11

SAT

8

FRI

7

THU

6

WED

5

TUE

4

MON

3

SUN

2

SAT

1

MONTH FRESHENERInfuse life into your days

ww

w.c

ompl

etew

ellb

eing

.com

How about using some of your old clothes to create a funky door mat?

World kindness day No matter how busy your day is, do one simple act of kindness for someone who doesn’t expect it.

Check your work-desk drawers for all the items that can be reused and send them for recycling.

Learn how to prepare macramé curtains by taking tutorials from the internet. Create some beautiful home décor.

World Hello DaySmile and say hello to 10 people.

Universal Children’s day Buy some sweets and distribute them to all the children in your neighbourhood.

Have a magic show at home. Surprise your kids by showing off a few card tricks.

Put up a tent of bed sheets and camp with your kids—revel in your childhood memories!

Make your living-room lively by taking some dry branches, spraying them with some sparkle and placing them in a beautiful vase.

Grow a plant and gift it to a friend. The time and thought you’ve put into this gift is worth more than anything money can buy.

Teach your child the importance of giving; have him give some toys to charity.

Like a particular celebrity’s look? Figure out how you can incorporate it without aping them. Be your own star!

Remember how much you loved skipping as a child? See if you can still do it.

Gift your child some books he’d love to read.

MY NOTE

World diabetes dayPledge to do one thing everyday to better your health.

Take out the cycle from your garage and go for a long ride.

Give your wife a break—surprise her by helping her with the chores around the house.

Ramgopal Vallath shares how he coped and what he learned when an unexpected illness threatened to sha er his whole life

When the going got tough

self-helpDiscover


I WAS ECSTATIC when I became one of the youngest Circle

Heads in India for a telecom operation at 35, but my joy was

short-lived. I had no idea that my health was about to take a

nosedive. It started off as mild symptoms—my hands would

tremble whenever I held something and I could not fi nd my

balance while trying to descend stairs. I ignored it at fi rst,

jokingly calling it my ‘handshaking problem’, and telling people

it was a result of excessive handshakes, thanks to my sales job.


My deteriorating dreamsOver the next fi ve years, my condition

steadily worsened. My fi ngers lost sensation

and strength; I could no longer perform

simple tasks such as bu oning up my shirt,

tying my shoelaces, writing legibly, or even

typing. Picking up even small things such as

a glass of water or a plate was a nightmare.

Similarly, my legs became weak and

unsteady. I could not climb up stairs without

holding on to a railing for support; I couldn’t

walk more than a couple of hundred metres

at a time and my le foot started to droop,

causing me to stub my toes while walking or

causing me to trip and fall many times.

My corporate dream had come crashing

down. I changed jobs because of my condi-

tion, in the hope of fi nding work I could still

do without too much of a hindrance.

My condition had also been misdiagnosed

a few times. Finally, I was told I had CIDP

[Chronic infl ammatory demyelinating

polyneuropathy], an autoimmune disorder.

Life was as tough as it could get. Fate had

ideas completely at variance with the well-

laid plans I had set for myself. I watched in

pain as my dream of becoming the CEO of a

Fortune 500 company in my early 40s slowly

slipped away.

But there was something about me which

even fate could not touch—my a itude,

[I’d like to think I am the most positive

person I’ve ever met.] I knew that if I tried

hard enough I would fi nd a solution to my

problems.

To accomplish this, there were a set of rules

which I adhered to. Based on my experience

this is the knowledge I have garnered:

1 Never think of what could have been

Thinking of what you are missing out

on and wasting time brooding over where

you could have reached is the single most

unproductive way of spending your time.

What could have been is never going to hap-

pen. Instead of wasting time mulling over

things, you should spend time assessing the

present situation and, based on that, plan for

the future. I never spend time regre ing the

downward spiral in my health nor how it

derailed my career.

2 Understand that life is not fair There

is no algorithm built into the fabric of

the universe, which ensures that a person

who does good deeds always receives a good

life. The sooner you realise this, the easier

it will be for you to accept reality and also

to realise that the only person who can pull

you out of your diffi culties is yourself. This

will galvanise you into action. In my case, I

was always looking ahead to see how I could

maximise my value addition [at work, at

home or in terms of what I could contribute

to the society] given my condition. This

ensured that my mind was always engaged in

something positive.

3 Always seek solutions As a young

boy, I studied in some of the smallest

villages in Kerala, that too in government

schools with Malayalam as the medium of

instruction. The pass percentage in most of

those schools was a mere 20 per cent. Yet,

I managed without any external tuition to

obtain the 129th rank in IIT JEE. The reason

I could do this was because I had learned

from my parents to always look for solutions.

While practising for the entrance test, there

were times when I would spend two to three

days solving a single problem. But I never

gave up. So I knew that if I explored all the

possibilities and approached everything with

an orientation towards fi nding a solution,

no problem is unsolvable. As my illness

progressed, I tried to workout daily, do

yoga and took ayurvedic treatments. I also

researched long and hard on the Internet

for a possible cure. I never gave up trying.

This kept my hope alive and also made me

feel great that I was always doing something

constructive.

4 When the going gets tough, the tough

get humorous The single most important

thing that kept me sane and indeed in a great

Ramgopal Vallath is a motivational speaker and author of Oops the Mighty Gurgle. By sharing his story of overcoming CIDP, he wants to help as many lives as possible.


mood during these trying times was my abil-

ity to look at the funny side of things. I made

sure that every meeting I a ended, every

group of friends I spent time with or every

time I sat down with my family for a meal,

I would make that group feel a li le more

cheerful than what they were when I joined

them. I would always crack a few jokes and

make light of a situation. The trick is not to

take yourself too seriously and also not to let

others take themselves too seriously. I was al-

ways the one who told my kids many funny

stories and made them roll around with

laughter. When you spread cheer to others,

it ensures the overall atmosphere lightens

and in turn makes you more cheerful. It is an

amplifi ed positive feedback of jollity.

5 Take up something you love to do In

my case, I started blogging. I created

my own blog and fi lled it with humorous

and wacky posts. I shared it far and wide

and enjoyed the praise I got for it. While

undergoing my clinical trial treatment in the

USA [a treatment that I had identifi ed thanks

to my intense online research], I also started

writing my fi rst novel—a funny science

fi ction story for all ages. Completing this

book, ge ing it published and subsequently

marketing it far and wide gave me such a To subscribe to Complete Wellbeing,

send ‘CW SUB’ to 07738387787

powerful boost of energy that I recovered

most of my strength —thanks to it.

6 Set yourself a series of small a ainable

stretch goals Even at the height of my

illness, I would set daily targets for myself

such as to walk one km in 20 minutes or to li

500gms of weight 50 times with each hand and

so on. A er fi nishing my treatment, I set daily

targets to exercise 27 diff erent muscles for the

next six months. The target would increase

every week. Then I went about beating each

target, every day.

Today, I am a published author and a mo-

tivational speaker. I have conducted seminars

in more than a dozen corporate organisations

and in many schools and colleges. My aim in

life is to positively touch as many people as I

can. My next book is all about keeping your-

self motivated through the toughest of times

and turning your situation into an advantage.

Through all this [to paraphrase William

Ernest Henley], the one thing I kept telling

myself and that I would like to share with

everyone is…

“You are the master of your fate; you are

the captain of your soul.”

When the going gets tough, the tough use

humour


Trending this month

In chasing ‘the good life,’ many of us sacrifi ce our relationships, our health, and our sanity, but at the end of the day, we still fi nd ourselves with lives and work that bring us li le fulfi llment. That’s because, the good life is not about the pursuit of happiness, as happiness is superfi cial and fl eeting.

It’s about meaning, and about knowing that our lives and work ma er, say Elaine Dundon and Alex Pa akos

Your personal answer to the ultimate question


?Whyam Ihere

“Man, a being in search of meaning.”

—Plato

ON OUR TRAVELS AROUND THE WORLD, we’ve encountered

many people who have told us that they felt something was missing

in their lives and that they felt overwhelmed, lonely and unfulfi lled. A

pessimistic air seems to have engulfed our world, with increased levels

of stress due to unemployment or job insecurity, fi nancial hardship,

health and relationship issues. Today, we see that despite being in

an increasingly networked and connected world via technology,

too many people feel disconnected from and untrusting of others—

neighbours, co-workers, leaders—and, perhaps most importantly,

from themselves.

Unsure of where to turn for solutions, many

seek to ‘escape’ through addictions: television,

sex, food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, gambling,

the Internet, etc. Le unchecked, these

pursuits can turn into a vicious, downward

cycle and manifest themselves as an endless

and joyless undertaking—much like the one

experienced by the Greek hero Sisyphus, who

was ordered by the gods to push a big rock

uphill, only to see it slip out of his hands at

the very last moment and roll down the hill

once more.

Is happiness the answer? Some say the solution is to seek happiness.

“Just fi nd something that will make you happy” is

the advice we hear o en. But what does this

really mean? Does it mean a person should

fi nd something to make them happy in the

moment, perhaps distracting themselves

from the reality of their life? Although this

approach might provide temporary reprieve,

we believe that life is not about the pursuit of

happiness. Happiness is not the ultimate goal

of life. Happiness is an emotion that is linked

to pleasure but it is fl eeting; it doesn’t last.

We can share a happy moment when we

are enjoying a good meal or a good laugh

with a friend, but this emotion only lasts

a short time. Believing that happiness will

relieve us from our anxiety and stress is

Alex Pattakos, author of the bestseller, Prisoners of Our Thoughts [translated into 22 languages] and Elaine Dundon, author of the bestseller, The Seeds of Innovation, are co-founders of The Meaning Group and co-authors of The OPA! Way: Finding Joy & Meaning in Everyday Life & Work. To learn more, visit: www.theopaway.com and www.themeaninggroup.com

Anniversary

th


misguided. What happens when life throws

us a curve, when things don’t go well, when

we face suff ering, illness, or death? What hap-

pens when our ability to make sense of life

is challenged? The pursuit of happiness will

not necessarily help us in these diffi cult times,

nor will it bring us the deep sense of fulfi ll-

ment we are all looking for in life.

Christopher Reeve, known all over the

world for his leading role in Superman, had

remaining years by fi ghting for himself, for

his family, and for thousands of people with

spinal cord injuries around the world. By en-

gaging with a deeper purpose and extending

beyond himself, this real-life Superman found

happiness not by pursuing it but by allowing

it to ensue as the unintended side-eff ect of his

dedication to a cause greater than himself.

Is it power we want?Some believe the solution is to seek power

over our lives and the lives of others. Power

is about being strong and dominant, having

[or trying to have] control over other people,

events, or things in our environment. Ulti-

mately, though, the pursuit of power leads

to emptiness because power over others, and

even most of our personal circumstances, is

actually an illusion. Power is an exhausting

game to play and, like pleasure, it is fl eeting

and always subject to unforeseen forces. In

this connection, the search for power also

becomes an endless and joyless undertaking.

The search for power in our lives is parallel

to our search for happiness and pleasure. For

the most part, it too is ‘out there.’ Power over

our employees, our bosses, our customers,

our shareholders, our kids, the waiter in a res-

taurant, or a clerk in a retail store is illusory

at best and terribly destructive at worst. We

think we have power, but we never know for

sure. Even if we do, in the power game there’s

always an opponent; the ground is always

shi ing. Just ask the parents of teenagers

who, even with the best of intentions, fi nd

that parental guidance is much easier said

than done! Indeed, with parenting comes the

realisation that the search for ‘power’ over

children is an exhausting, ever-shi ing game!

What about money?The pursuit of power through monetary

wealth is also an illusion, one that o en

leads to unintended consequences. We have

all heard people express the idea that more

wealth will bring them meaning and fulfi ll-

ment. “If only I had more money.” “If only I

had a bigger house.” “If only I had a fi rst class

a bright acting career and a life fi lled with

unlimited possibilities ahead of him. He was

thrown from a horse in a tragic accident that

broke his neck, and he was challenged to

make new sense of his life as a quadriple-

gic. An inspirational role model for others,

Reeve proved to be a real Superman a er

his accident, not because he chose to pursue

happiness as his ultimate goal, but because

he searched for something much deeper—the

“strength to persevere and endure in spite of

overwhelming obstacles.” Moreover, in spite

of having been thrown a curve by life, Reeve

not only survived but also thrived in his

Pic

: Mik

e Li

n

CC

BY-

SA

3.0

by

Jbfra

nkel

Superman in reel and real life—Christopher Reeve after the accident; here he discusses the potential benefits of stem cell research at a neuroscience conference at MIT.

Christopher Reeve at the opening night of Marriage of Figaro in NYC


We use money to keep score and compare ourselves with others

ticket.” We’ve been conditioned to believe

that these are authentic symbols of suc-

cess—the more the be er. Having money and

material things has become the end goal for

many people because they can count it, keep

score, and use it to compare themselves to

others. Living the ‘good life’ seems to be just

one thing away.

But when we don’t look the way we think

we should or if we don’t have the same [or

greater] amount of wealth or abundance of

things as others do, we trap ourselves into

thinking that it is we who are not enough. In

other words, we become “prisoners of our

thoughts.” Unfortunately, such feelings of in-

adequacy and the relentless pursuit of trying

to overcome them typically lead to increased

stress, and o en depression.

The costs, whether intended or unin-

tended, obvious or hidden, of the hunt for

more power and money, which eff ectively is

a primitive form of the search for power, are

staggering. We postpone fi nding and expe-

riencing deep meaning in our lives when we

are so busy seeking and trying to get ‘more’.

We ignore our relationships while we focus

on accumulating more; we overlook our

health in our chase for more. Interestingly,

the results of many research studies have

shown that once we achieve a certain level of

wealth, enough to cover the basics of life, any

increase in new wealth does not necessarily

result in a lot more satisfaction, especially

lasting satisfaction. In other words, doubling

our money won’t bring about a doubling of

meaning in our lives.

POWER

MEANING

PLEASURE


/CompleteWellbeing /StayWell

Complete Wellbeing is an award-winning magazine that helps you live to your highest potential across all dimensions. It recognises and respects your myriad facets along with your deep desire to be the best you can in all the roles you play—spouse, parent, friend, professional, colleague, boss, neighbour, citizen…

Loaded with insights on a diverse array of issues that matter to you; all presented in a friendly, strain-free and compelling manner.

Featuring some of the most inspiring people of our time—Richard Bach, Thich Nhat Hanh, Wayne Dyer, John Gray, Andrew Mellen, Margie Warrell, Deborah Tannen, Charles Tart, Anita Moorjani, Terry Paulson, Robert Kiyosaki— Complete Wellbeing helps you to achieve greater clarity of thought and action so that you live your most magnificent life.

Make Complete Wellbeing a partner in your journey of life.

Why subscribe

To subscribe on Zinio » http://bit.ly/cwdigitalTo subscribe on Magzter » http://bitly.com/cwmagzter

Want to subscribe to the print edition instead?Visit http://store.completewellbeing.com

OR

Send ‘CW SUB’ » 07738387787* Print edition available only within India

Subscription plans starting from ̀ 999

To continue reading subscribe to Complete Wellbeing

http://www.mxmindia.com/2012/06/complete-wellbeing-bags-medscape-award/

Documents

November 2014 8th anniversary issue