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News Editor: Taouba Khelifanews@carillonregina.com

the carillon | Nov 15 - 21, 2012newsStudents deportations causing

talk in House of Commons

metronews.ca

Rally in downtown Regina in support of Victoria and Ihuoma

Two University of Regina stu-dents from Nigeria are facing de-portation for violating terms oftheir visas that said they could notwork off campus.

Victoria Ordu and IhuomaAmadi were given the deporta-tion notice last summer after theend of the 2012 winter semester,

and have been taking sanctuaryin a Regina church since then.

Since the beginning of the ac-ademic year, the case has gener-ated a lot of attention at theUniversity and in the House ofCommons. In Question Period,Ralph Goodale asked why theConservative government is de-manding deportation, while theUniversity of Regina and theGovernment of Saskatchewan op-pose these measures. The Ministerof Citizenship, Immigration andMulticulturalism, Jason Kenney,responded saying, I have infor-mation in my hands from theCanada Border Services Agency

indicating that one of the subjectshad not attended classes at theUniversity in the Winter 2011 se-mester, [and] was required to dis-continue from studies based onfailure to meet academic stan-dards.

However, some people, suchas Ralph Goodale, claim the oppo-site of Kennys remarks.

The University has been veryclear that at all material times,these two young women wereproperly registered as students atthe University of Regina,Goodale said, in an interview withthe Carillon. He also said that say-ing that Kenneys statement flies

in the face of the facts.In the past couple of months,

the Saskatchewan ImmigrationJustice Network has organizedmany forms of activism, protest-ing the deportation and support-ing the two students. Eventshosted included Teach-Ins inthe Ad-Hum building, rallies bothon and off campus, and a viralTwitter campaign called #honest-mistake, where people were en-couraged to use the hashtag to

share honest mistakes with Kennyand Public Safety Minister, VicToews.

These events have raisedmany questions surrounding thecase, such as how the CanadaBorder Services Agency (CBSA)treated the students, and whatrole Wal-Mart the employer ofthe two women has to play inthe breakdown of the ordeal.

Joseph Mburu, professor ofpolitical science at the Universityof Regina, said that they were ar-rested by the CBSA and thatone of them was arrested at Wal-Mart, while serving customers atthe till [she was] taken through

the walkway and through theshop in handcuffs into the car,

brought into campus in handcuffs,walked around from the car-parkto her dorm in handcuffs, whichwas very humiliating.

When asked what role Wal-Mart had in this situation, Mburustated that if the students pre-sented their social insurance num-

bers, its expected that theemployers would have detectedthat these students needed workpermits, but Wal-Mart did not no-tify these particular students, andso Wal-Mart failed in this case.

It was suggested that this situ-ation could have been avoided if

Wal-Mart had noticed that thesestudents were not allowed towork outside the campus.

Although many remain opti-mistic that the students will beable to finish up their last year ofstudies, Goodale said that if theywere to experience the guillotineof deportation it would cer-tainly destroy any chance of thesetwo young people ever being ableto complete their education, andhave long term negative conse-

quences for the rest of their lives.It is, in effect, a kind of life sen-tence that the government is try-ing to dole out here, and its justwrong.

Goodale suggests that moreappropriate measures would bereprimands, warnings, or fines.He also felt it was strange that thegovernment was taking such aharsh stance, because thats theother factor that needs to be notedin all of this: none of this is costingthe government of Canada any-thing, because these students areon scholarship provided by theNigerian Government, so its their

nickel, not the [Canadian] govern-ments, he said.

Professor Mburu questions thegovernments stance on this case.

These two young women,who have done a small mistake,should they really be sent away?They will lose one whole year oftheir education, and we dontknow if theyll ever be able tocome back, because their funding[from the Nigerian Government]may be terminated, he said.

He also explained the prob-lems that the two women wouldencounter in re-applying and re-funding their visas if they weredeported, because the deportationwould affect their evaluation ifthey tried to come back to Canadato finish their studies.

Their future would be ruinedby the fact that they are being de-ported. They wouldnt be able toget a job, they would be seen aspeople who are not good, there isa shame, and a lot of social exclu-sion. He continued to say that inNigeria, the effect of deportationwould not only be felt by these

girls, but on their parents too.Furthermore, the insistence of

the Conservative government ondeportation, and their general ide-ology, has been seen, according toGoodale, as anti-immigrantand might deter other interna-tional students from taking uptheir studies in Canada.

Mburu poses a similar ques-tion in where potential foreignstudents will then be asking them-selves should I come to Canada

to study?Goodale feels that interna-

tional students significantly con-tribute to Canadian society, and

bring with them brainpower, cre-ativity, productivity, innovationand contribute to a larger tax

base. He believes that Kenney issending a very negative, verycontradictory message that issaying yeah, we want you tocome, but watch out for CBSA,watch out for ImmigrationCanada, you cannot rely on themto be fair, or to be consistent, or tofollow due process, or to behavein a reasonable manner.

The message will give some

international students reason topause and think, well, if thatsthe way the border service worksin Canada, maybe we should goto the U.K, or maybe the U.S., ormaybe we should go to Japanrather than going to Canada, hesaid.

Even through all the messydetails in this case, both ProfessorMburu and Ralph Goodale re-main optimistic, amongst others,and Goodale hopes that sanerheads will prevail here.

These two young women, who have donea small mistake, should they really be sentaway? They will lose one whole year of theireducation, and we dont know if theyll everbe able to come back, because their funding[from the Nigerian Government] may be ter-minated.

Joseph Mburu

michael chmielewskicontributor

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According to panelists at a recent

public discussion held at theUniversity of Regina on Nov. 5,Canadians should be prepared towipe their internet browser his-tory of any songs they may havedownloaded illegally.

U ofR BusinessAdministration professor BillBonner, local Regina lawyerNoah Evanchuk, and NDPHeritage Critic Andrew Cashagree that Bill C-30 is not what itclaims to be.

Introduced to Parliamentearly in February 2012, Bill C-30 istitled Protecting Children fromInternet Predators Act and wassponsored by Canadas Public

Safety Minister, Vic Toews.But, Professor Bill Bonner

says, the police need no additionalassistance when it comes to catch-ing predators, which leaves thequestion, what role does C-30 ac-tually play?

I know of two major in-stances in this province wherechild pornographer rings have

been busted and yet this bill has-nt been passed yet, he said.Law enforcement seems to beable to do its job now.

When introduced toParliament in February, Toewstold a news conference that he be-lieved that unless [Bill C-30] is

adopted, this will in fact allowchild pornographers and organ-ized crime to flourish ... The focushere is the protection of children.

While C-30 claims to be an in-ternet safety Act to catch childpredators, the Acts mandatestates that this legislation will helpensure that telecommunicationsservice providers have the capa-

bility to enable national securityand law enforcement agencies toexercise their authority to inter-cept communications and to re-quire telecommunications serviceproviders to provide subscriberand other information.Provisions in the Act include

things such as forcing internetproviders to make online commu-nication files more accessible topolice, and requiring telecommu-

nications and internet providersto give up subscribers data - suchas legal names, IP addresses, andcontact information - to police andnational security agencies with-out a warrant.

This means telecommunica-tions or internet service providers(ISPs) would have the ability tostore any personal informationabout a customer, such as emails,passwords for social media sitesand online banking, phone num-

bers and addresses to pass this in-

formation on to the local police orRCMP.

Another key part to the legis-lation is that law enforcement

would be able to access the infor-mation stored with the ISPs with-out a search warrant.

Anytime youre addressinglegislation, [the question] is why?What is the legislative intent?Evanchuk said. Our Charter ofRights and Freedoms are subjectto limitations, the right againstunreasonable search and seizure.That includes infringing on yourprivacy interest.

Without a search warrant, po-lice would not necessarily need a

good reason to access informa-tion. Evanchuk said Bill C-30would cause issues with someSupreme Court decisions.

In 2010, the Supreme Courtoverturned the decisions of thetrial court and the SaskatchewanCourt of Appeal regarding a mannamed Urbain Morelli accused of

child pornography. The evidenceindicated that he was guilty. Aninternet technician had spottedthe evidence when he went to in-stall the broadband connection.After his second visit to finish theinstallation, he contacted the po-lice. The guilty verdict was over-turned because it was anunreasonable search and seizureand the evidence had not been ob-tained legally. The Morelli deci-sion would be in direct conflictwith Bill C-30.

Bonner said those who sup-port C-30 often ask those who areopposed, what are you hiding?when what should be looked at is

what do you want to reveal?It is so the wrong question,

he said. Its a question of really,what have I got to reveal? We allhave stuff we dont want to reveal... theres passwords, health infor-mation.

Evanchuk agreed. As alawyer and as a barrister, myproblem with Bill C-30 is the gov-ernment has not addressed whytheyre doing this, he explained.Theyre arguing this backwards;theyre arguing why not, so thosewith legitimate concerns are castaside; Well, you either supportthis or [support] child pornogra-phers.

The old Anglican Church on thecorner of 7th Avenue and Garnet

Street is host to Reginas first per-maculture garden. The uniquestyle of urban agriculture is de-signed to mimic natural ecosys-tems; producing yields with nowaste, and sustaining the soil byconstructing gardens with diverseecosystems instead of segregatingcrops from one another.

The initiative just finished upits first year of operation. The gar-den is a community project in con-

junction with the North CentralCommunity Association, and al-lows for community membersfrom all over the region to con-tribute to the agriculture process.Although the last harvest ended

about a month ago, organizersand volunteers at PermacultureRegina are still working hard tomaintain a healthy top-soil on thesite to uphold the fertility of theland.

The goal of [the garden] is tohave food produced sustainably,and for us to be able to live sus-tainably in the future, said

Joanne Havelock, founder ofPermacultureRegina. I think thatpeople cant ignore the issue ofagricultural sustainability anylonger. We need to start workingon ways to maintain our croplands for the future.

While it may be difficult to

find people who would think ofmodern farming practices asone of the biggest environmentalthreats of current day society, thisappears to be a truth that is slowlyrearing its ugly head.

The degradation of fertileacreage is slowly grabbing the at-tention of scientists from aroundthe world. Any region of land ca-pable of growing lush plant lifeeventually loses its fertility overtime; water and wind carry awaythe nutrient rich soil, and a desertis left in its place. However, thenatural process can take hundreds

or even thousands of years.Yet, pundits of sustainable

food production say that simpleagricultural practices, such as thetillage of soil and the use of chem-ical fertilizers, can accelerate thespeed of soil degradation by asmuch as 4,000 per cent.

When you have no top-soilyou have no food, said SteveFairbairn, who helps to maintainthe 7th Avenue garden. Withoutfood, without water, you havenothing. I think permaculturesolves a lot of the problems thatwe are going to be facing in the fu-

ture if we dont change the waythat we look at agriculture in oursociety. We face the real risk of thedesertification of our farm lands ifwe dont start to change what weare doing.

Hopefully we can see someof these ideas introduced intomodern farming, Havelockadded. I would like to see thisspread to other communitiesaround the city. We are hopingthat people can see that it is possi-

ble to have fully self-sustainableagricultures in their very own

backyards. And the need for such

agriculture has never been moreimportant.

The concerns of PermacultureRegina have merit. One report bythe National Academy Press statesthat unsustainable agricultural

practices are the number one con-tributing factor to the degradationof farm lands throughout theworld. According to the report,this makes the excessive erosionof usable farm lands one of themost significant environmentalproblems that the world faces to-day.

Indeed, it appears that 40 percent of the worlds usable farmland is already seriously de-graded, which is why the mem-

bers of Permaculture Reginabelieve that their style of urbanfood production is now more im-portant than ever.

news the carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 20124

What are you hiding?

Stopping the problem before it gets out of controlPermaculture could stop us from destroying our land

RPIRG

Todays farming techniques are destroying the land - could Permaculture help restore farming practices?

gigaom2.files.wordpress.com

dietrich neueditor-in-chief

kristen mcewennews writer

We face the realrisk of thedesertification ofour farm lands ifwe dont start tochange what we

are doing.

Steve Fairbairn

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newsthe carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 2012 5

Journalism and human rights gohand in hand, and in 2002, this

became a reality when Journalistsfor Human Rights (JHR) wasfounded in Canada. JHR is one ofthe leading media developmentorganizations in the country, andhas played a role in helping setup independent media outlets invarious Sub-Saharan Africancountries over the years.

JHR works with journalismorganizations in Africa, teaching

local journalists the ropes of thetrade in ethical and effective hu-man rights reporting.

The U of R established a JHRchapter in Regina, and this pastsummer, journalism student,Noah Wernikowski, had the op-portunity to travel to Ghana with

JHR. Wernikowski shared his sto-ries, experiences, and words ofwisdom with the Carillon.

Carillon: Why did you decide togo into journalism?

Wernikowski: At first, I wasdrawn to journalism because Ithought it was the most mar-

ketable way to pursue my love ofreading and writing and I also re-ally liked Hunter S. Thompson - atthe time, I naively thought all

journalists lived rockstar, gonzolives. The more I learned about

journalism, the more my motiva-tion changed. It became less aboutwhat I enjoyed doing and moreabout a sense of purpose and asense social responsibility.

Carillon: What motivated you tojoin JHR?

Wernikowski: In my first semes-ter at J-school, I joined our localchapter because I thought it

would be a good way to learnmore about international journal-ism as well as network with jour-nalism students across thecountry. I stayed with JHR be-cause I realized it was a responsi-

ble organization that strives toeliminate the need for itself whilealso respecting local knowledgesystems. I think many other de-velopment organizations couldlearn a thing or two from them.

Carillon: Tell us a little aboutwhat you did throughout your in-ternship.

Wernikowski: The internship ex-perience was diverse and intense... I spent the majority of my timein Africa living in Accra, the cap-ital city of Ghana. I was in Accrafor just over three months. Irented a house in a middle-classGhanaian neighbourhood, andlived with two other interns whowere also working for JHR butwere doing different internshipprojects. It was a pretty nice place,

but once I got home I definitelydidnt miss the rolling blackouts,ant infestation, and spotty elec-tricity.

For JHR, I had two jobs. Iworked four days a week at local

media outlet: a radio station thatalso ran a weekly newspaper. [Theother days I spent] training [anddoing workshops], but also learn-ing from Ghanaian journalists. Idid a fair bit of copy editing, storyresearching and vetting. In the re-mainder of my time, I had to blogfor JHR and the Toronto Star, writ-ing human rights-based news sto-ries.

Carillon: A part of the JHR man-date is to "make everyone in theworld fully aware of their rights."What were some of the things thatyou did over your internship thathelped accomplish that mandate?

Wernikowski: Working at the lo-cal media outlet, I did my best toshow local journalists the impor-tance of reporting human-rights

based stories as well as help themcreate them. I also did a little bit ofrights-awareness journalism inthe projects I completed while Iwas there. The JHR mandate re-ally is an important end to worktowards because education is aneffective way to ensure rights arerespected if people know whattheir rights are, they know whenthey are being infringed upon,and they are more likely to fight

such injustice.

Carillon: What was one of themost difficult things you faced inthe internship?

Wernikowski: Each step of theinternship brought with it a differ-ent set of challenges. At first I hadto get used to the much moreaus-tere living conditions no heatedwater, no washing machines, 35degree heat, frequent blackouts,etc. After that became normal, myhealth became a challenge I wasconstantly sick because my bodywasnt used to the climate.

There were certainly a few

physical low points. I once leftwork feeling nauseous and spentthe next 45 minutes fighting theurge to throw up for a 45 minute

bumpy and stinky trotro ride (de-crepit mini-vans spliced into

buses that are the primary form ofpublic transportation), only to getout of the trotro, walk ten steps,and throw up all over myself. Forfive violent minutes. Standing inthe middle of a street. In front of acrowd of uniformed children.

I also got malaria twice, whichalso wasnt fun.

There are very real and verydeep cultural differences. It was avery selectively conservative soci-

ety, not dissimilar from Madmenera North America. Where homo-phobia is rampant, so ispolygamy. Cultural differenceslike these bothered me on a verypersonal level. It was [also] adifficult environment to do jour-nalism. There is a lot of bureau-cratic red tape you run intowhenever you are dealing withthe government; there is a chal-lenging language and to a lesserdegree, race barrier, and mostpeople show up anywhere from15 minutes to 4 hours late to inter-views.

Finally, it was also difficult be-

ing so geographically far awayfrom my friends, family, girl-friend, and cat. It was so hard tokeep in touch when the electricityand internet is spotty and the timedifference is so many hours.

Carillon: Can you share with usany valuable insight, wisdom, ormemory you've brought backwith you from Ghana.

Wernikowski:This is a very hardquestion to answer definitely. Imstill very much in the process offiguring out exactly what Ilearned, exactly what the intern-ship experience meant to me, and

exactly how it changed me.First, Africa is not a country, as

many people seem to refer to itas. It is [a] very diverse place with57 countries, thousands of cul-tures, and more than a billion peo-ple. I also found that, for better orfor worse, aside from the culturaldifferences, people are the sameeverywhere.

I think my favourite memorywas hitchhiking between Kumasiand Accra. The bus I was riding

broke down and I was strandedwith only a small backpack in therain, and I had no idea how I wasgoing to make it back to Accra andto work on Monday. There was a

looming sense of freedom and ad-venture throughout the whole ex-perience. I ended up stopping acar and hitchhiking back and, al-though the people driving didntspeak much English, there was areally neat personal connectionthere.

Carillon:As a journalist, what didyou think your role was when go-ing to Ghana? And did that rolechange or did you have to changeyour expectations in any way?

Wernikowski: This question wasactually a point of personal reflec-

tion while I was there. It doesntmatter how much you tell your-self it is unrealistic or overly sim-plistic, some part of you thinksthat if you are going to do interna-tional journalism in Africa you ex-pect to be helping people, makinga visible difference, and betteringthe world.

The reality is that, like charitywork here, the differences youmake are very subtle. This took alittle getting used to. Some partof me was disappointed I wasntsaving lives or getting stories pub-lished in the New York Times.However, it later became clear theexperience was as much about

what I took out of it as what I leftbehind. The insight and compas-sion will be with me forever. I alsolike to think that I made small dif-ferences and some of the hardwork I did got noticed.

To read more about Noahs internshipin Ghana, or learn more about JHR,visit the JHR blog athttp://www.jhr.ca/blog/author/noah/

U of Rs Noah Wernikowski shares his journalism experience in Ghana

One on one

Noah Wernikowski

A girl sells water while, behind her, other children play soccer. An estimated 6.36 million children in Ghana work.

taouba khelifanews editor

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news the carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 20126

A look at events around the world

News briefs

abc.net.au

Attack on GazaA series of attacks bythe Israeli military con-tinued Monday morn-ing on the city of Gaza,in the occupied terri-tory of Palestine. A to-tal of 7 people werekilled, with medics es-timating 35 peoplewounded so far. Theattacks on Gaza have

been targeting terrortunnels that are be-

lieved to be smugglingin weapons to terror-ist organizations. Theviolence in the terri-tory comes just asIsrael is preparing forits 2013 elections. In2008, similar violenceerupted before Israelselections, turning intoa 22-day war thatkilled 1,400Palestinians.

taouba khelifanews editor

gdb.rferl.org

Death of a BloggerIrani lawmakers andgovernment said thatthe death of bloggerSattar Beheshti, whodied last week whilein police custody,was not due to tor-ture or police brutal-ity. Beheshti wasarrested after criticiz-ing the Iranian gov-ernment onFacebook. Irans his-tory of journalists ar-

rest, imprisonmentand death comes asno surprise to many.In 2003, Iranian-Canadian freelancephotographer ZahraKazemi was arrestedand killed by Iranianofficials when shewas on assignment inIran covering theTehran July demon-strations.

si.wsj.net

Freezing EvictionsAfter two suicides in a span of 15days, Spains banking associationhas said that it will freeze mortgage-related evictions of indebted homeowners for the next two years. Thedecision comes after reports surfacedthat the two suicides were of in-debted homeowners who were fac-ing home evictions. In the midst of arecession and record high unem-

ployment rates, Spain saw toughausterity measures this year, withpredictions of tougher measures tocome. Spains government hopesthat the freeze will bring some calmto Spaniards during this economiccrisis.

csmonitor.com

GreekNationalismSome members ofMontreals Greekcommunity are onedge after a chap-ter of the right-

winged Greeknationalist party,Golden Dawn, wasestablished in thecity. The groupsports a logo re-sembling aswastika, andholds a strongview on anti-immi-gration, claimingthat Greece hasbeen taken over byillegal immigrants,

and calls uponChristian Greeksneed to reclaimtheir country.Golden Dawnsdeputy leader inMontreal, Spiros

Macrozonaris saidthat the Montrealchapter was aimedat garnering sup-port for the party,and clarifies thatthe Golden Dawnmembers areGreek nationalists...We love ourcountry. We are notfascists. We are notanti-immigrants.

wikimedia.org

No More CoffeeA study done by researcher AaronDavis of the Royal Botanic Gardensin England, showed that Arabicacoffee beans - used in 70 per cent ofthe worlds coffee - could be foreverwiped out by climate change in theyear 2080. Davis and his team of re-searchers found that in Ethiopia,

the worlds producer of Arabicaplants, climate change could makemuch of the land unsuitable forproduction. While the prediction isstill 68 years down the road, somepeople are not the least bit worried.Double-doubles will still be servedtomorrow morning.

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A&C Editor: Paul Bogdanaandc@carillonregina.com

the carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 2012a&c

STACHE TRACKERThe Carillonstaff are trying to out-stach each other, a pursuit that willend in blood and clippers. Check out our progress, and dont forget tovote for the hairiest link.

Neil the creepy guy in your nightmaresAdams

1. Update us on the hairy situa-tion. Hows it coming along?

Neil Adams:

STAAAAAAAAAAAMPEDE!Ed Dodd: I am starting to see itwhen I look down, and it honestlystartles me.

Dietrich Neu: Ed and I decidedthat I have a better stache than hedoes. Considering that Im actu-ally beating someone in this com-petition, my hairy situation isalready going better than ex-pected.Julia Dima: I feel like my leg hairhas reached a happy point ofhairiness, and I may never shave

again.Paul Bogdan: Im happy with it--I mean, as happy as I can be look-ing somewhat disgusting.

2. This is about the halfwaypoint. How do you feel goinginto the second half of the com-

petition?

NA: Theres no question that I amgoing to win at this point. Nowits just a matter of how uncom-fortable and disfigured I become.ED: Not as confident as before.The other competitors made ma-

jor strides in the last week.DN: Im going to dismiss the rest

of the staff and win by default.JD: Dietrich and Paul might aswell drop out. And Neil is sick,which means Edward is in theprocess of killing him. Whichmeans my epic leg is next... Imscared.PB: Well, if I keep up my progress

I might get fired, so if I keep thisup, I might be able to do myhomework.

3. Which animal best describesyour mustache?

NA: A bicycle.ED: Im going to say, mangeydog.

DN: Porcupine.JD: Vincent Van Goghs self-por-traits. Those are animals, right?PB: Any small, disgusting rodentthat makes you physically re-pulsed by seeing it.

You can vote for your favourite stache

by sending an email tocarilloneic@gmail.com or by stoppingby the Carillon office in room 227 inRiddell. Votes cost $1, and all pro-ceeds go to the Canadian CancerSociety. At time of press, Ed Dodd isin the lead by 20 votes. Yeah, messedup, right?

Fiveof our favourie

staches

Derek Smalls5That thing is powerful.

Jack Layton4One of the best. May yourstache rest peacefully foreverafter.

Ox Baker

3JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THEHEL IS THAT?

Teddy

Roosevelt2Not only a solid moustache,

but al so maybe the creepiestpicture of this dude in history.

Pringles guy1Pringles potato chips: makingour moustaches salty as allhell since... whenever the hellPringles were incorporatd.

One in seven Canadian men will be

diagnosed with prostate cancer. It isthe most common cancer among

Canadian men. In 2012, roughly

26,500 Canadians will be diagnosed

with prostate cancer. That works out

to about 73 people diagnosed per

day. 11 people die from prostate can-

cer every day in Canada.

Dietrich is this guy even employable Neu

Julia winter legs DimaPaul sad soviet Bogdan

Edward a moustache only a mother could love Dodd

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a&c the carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 20128

As if the history of film wasn't al-ready deeply entrenched withsome really strange nonsense, oc-casionally I would come across afilm that was directed by one AlanSmithee. At first, I wasn't reallyconcerned about the name until Irealized that Mr. Smithee has beenattached to some very high-profilefilms: 12 Angry Men, Cool HandLuke, and the original ChristopherReeve Superman in 1978. Wow! Ithought naively. What a careerthis Smithee has had! I better dosome research. Research I did.And laugh I did. See, Alan

Smithee isn't one person, but sev-eral. Another history lesson? You

bet, folks.Alan Smithee first reared his

head during production of the1969 film, Death of a Gunfighter.Leading man Richard Widmarkwas unhappy with the films di-rector, Robert Totten, andarranged to have him replacedwith Don Siegel. Both directorshad roughly an equal amount offootage used in the final cut of thefilm, but Siegel made it very clearto the Director's Guild of America(DGA) that neither he, nor Totten,had creative control over the filmat all. Instead, it was Widmark

who was running the show. Thispresented a bit of a problem be-

cause, at the time, DGA rulesmade it pretty explicit that the di-rector was the primary creativeforce behind a film.

After some deliberation, Deathof a Gunfighter was credited to thefictional Alan Smithee. The criticsof the time fawned over this bril-liant new director, whose keen eyefor detail and ability to allow sto-ries to unfold naturally made him

a Hollywood darling overnight.The pseudonym was then retroac-

tively applied to the film, Fade-In,and to the TV miniseries, TheIndiscreet Mrs. Jarvis.

After 1969, the DGA adoptedAlan Smithee; Smithee was theonly pseudonym that wasdeemed useable by the DGA. Fora director to attach the Smitheehandle to a project, they had tosatisfactorily prove to a DGApanel that they wereunable to ex-

ercise full creative control overtheir project. Should a director

have gotten Smithee rights, theywere disallowed from discussingproduction of the film, and fromacknowledging that they were, infact, the director of the film at all.

For a while, Alan Smithee wasthe best-kept secret in Hollywood.But Smithee soon went the wayof the first two rules ofFight Club people began talking. In 1998,Eric Idle starred in An Alan

Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn,a film about the production of a

movie in which the directornamed Alan Smithee wished toremove himself from his doomed

project. He could not, however,because the only pseudonym hecould credit as director was waitfor it Alan Smithee (insert hilar-ity). The film was a box office fail-ure. As a result of this verynegative reception, the DGA dis-continued Alan Smithee in 2000,to be replaced by the much moregeneric Thomas Lee.

Thus the thirty-one year ca-reer of Alan Smithee came to aclose. A search of the InternetMovie Database will call up anapproximate list of all of the proj-ects Alan Smithee was ever at-tached to. Though the name hascome and gone in film, I'd be very

curious to see how Alan Smitheewould fare in other branches oflife.

Mr. Speaker, to you andthrough you, I say fuck theSaskatchewan filmmakers! roarsSaskatchewan Party MP AlanSmithee. I don't think that theEnglish Department is in crisis,says University of Regina ProvostAlan Smithee. Alan Smithee, Artsand Culture Writer for the Carillonwent on the record as saying thatall of these thick-headed swinecan go screeching back to hell.And Smithee might just be a little

bit angry.

When I take the time to thinkabout what it would be like to

make an album with my sibling, Icome to the conclusion that Iwould much rather listen to peo-ple chew with their mouth openfor an entire 24 hours, if that tellsyou anything. But, for the boys inthe band Foam Lake, its a differ-ent story.

The band consists of fourbrothers, and although they havetheir ups and downs as any sib-lings do, it ends pretty quickly.

Weve always been like that.We are quick to fight but we arequick to forgive too, said BarrettRoss, one member of the quartet.And, although he agrees that be-ing brothers can be both good and

bad, it is mostly good, because Itrust them.

However, don't get to caughtup in the band-of-brothers gim-mick, this isnt the new Hanson

brothers. Think of them more as aKings of Leon type of brother-hood you don't actually knowthat most of them are brothers un-til you search it up or look atthem, because they all slightly re-semble each other. But, that is notwhat Foam Lake is trying to pro-mote. Some people see it as anovelty [being brothers], saidRoss, and that was never an in-tention of ours. I would ratherplay with people I care about and

people I want to support.When it comes to travelling

though, it does help out being afamily.

We take care of each otherpretty well, and we don't worryabout it, explained Ross. Fo amLake had travelled to Spain earlierin the summer, as well as touringin Germany and England, andalso New York for College Music

Journal.The band seems to have end-

less adventures while on the road.From driving the Autobahn, toplaying at Arlene's Grocery inNew York, to rocking out atPrimavera Sound in Barcelona,Foam Lake has seen it all. But theyarent even close to being doneyet.

With all this touring, you

would think the guys would wantto take a break and relax.However, they are currentlyworking together to finish build-ing a recording studio, where theyare hoping to clock in some hoursin January and February to recordsome new music. As well, theyhave three touring trips plannedfor the new year exact dates be-ing sorted out where they are

planning to go back to Europe.With their first album being

re-released this past October, thefeedback has been good. InCanada, it was received well, andin United States and Europe it is

starting to be received better, al-though it hasn't technically beenreleased out in Europe, saidRoss. We are a very small opera-tion, but it will be in time.

Their goals for the future areto keep going, said Ross, andto make good music, that is ouronly goal. Everything else has

been an awesome bi-product ofus doing that. Touring, travellingand making music is all this fam-ily needs.

I saw Foam Lake perform herein Regina this past September,andI am no music critic by any means,

but if you are looking for a greatatmosphere with some talented

musicians and vocals, I can prom-ise you Foam Lake won't disap-point. Their next date in Regina ison Nov. 24, at the Fainting Goat.It's a smaller venue, but that issomething Foam Lake would liketo take advantage of. Althoughthey generate good turnouts atplaces like O'Hanlons, the bandappreciates the small venues be-cause they are there for peoplewho are going to see the band orfinding new music. And, the fewexpectations they have for thisshow is good times, and hangingout with friends. What morecould you ask for?

How to say fuck it; Im out in the film industry

I wash my hands of the issue

Band of brothersSaskatoon quartet Foam Lake head to the Fainting Goat on Nov. 24

Foam Lake

This is a bullshit green room

wayswelearnaboutfilms.wordpress.com

Pictured: Alan Smithee ... probably

paige kreutzwiesercontributor

im not angrykyle leitch

arts writer

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a&cthe carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 2012 9

On Nov. 9th, the temperature waswell below freezing. Blowingsnow ensured that you couldhardly see the hand in front ofyour face, let alone brave the nowtreacherous drive from Regina toMoose Jaw. Yet, those who didwere in for a spectacle of rock androll theatre. Alice Cooper'sNightmare Express made a stop atMosaic Place in Moose Jaw as apart of the Night of Fear tour.Those that were in attendancestood in awe as the Godfather of

Shock Rock proceeded to burn theplace to the ground.

This particular concert, ananomaly amongst rock shows to

be sure, actually started five min-utes before the advertised time onthe ticket. What the ticket neg-lected to mention was the openingact Geoff Tate of Queensrychefame. Tate and his ensemble ofcharacters which ranged from thesoft-rock Kerry King on guitar tothe scene-punk Bill Nye on bassproceeded to play 45 minutes of

barely intell igible songs fromTate's new solo album, Kings &Thieves. Blessedly, this clatteringracket didnt last too long, and the

real show began. When AliceCooper storms through a wall offire dressed in full ringmastersgear, you know you're about towitness something magical.

Cooper and company torethrough the 24-song set list seem-ingly without a breath. Anybody

who has even remotely heard ofAlice Cooper knows that, with astage set-up like his, that's nosmall feat. Sure, the set list wascomposed almost entirely of

greatest hits, but when it's as coldas it was, if I may bastardize a linefrom Homer Simpson, here, Nonew crap; take care of business.Alice Cooper's business, as itshould happen, involves horsewhips, swords, guillotines, elec-tric chairs, and straight jackets.

And brother, business is a-boom-ing.

If there was any one thing tolegitimately complain about,again, it would have to be quality

of sound. I'll give this one a passbecause it was in a small- townhockey rink, but even then, Iknow a quality audio mix can beachieved. Cooper's vocals wouldoccasionally clip, and having fourguitar players on stage made surethat the drums were oftentimes

lost altogether; that notwithstand-ing, the show did have its mo-ments of absolutely perfect audioquality, and those moments weresimply magical.

The visibility may have beennext to nothing both ways, and Imay have ended up in the ditchon the highway outside of BellePlaine for a few hours on the wayhome, but terrible traveling condi-tions may have made the catharsisof rock theatrics all the more thor-

ough. From Hello Hooray,through a rousing rendition ofWelcome to my Nightmare, andall the way through to School'sOut, the NightmareExpress' ride

seemed to end all too quickly.That was a ride that I ever wantedto leave, and that I won't soon for-get.

Alice Coopers Nightmare Express tour stops at the most nightmarishSaskatchewan city

Welcome to the Nightmare

msnbcmedia.msn.com

The real nightmare here is guitars with blood-spatter paint schemes

kyle leitch

arts writer

URSU is putting on a forum re-

garding the Academic Program

Review on Nov. 19.

The APR affects you.

If you don't know what this is,

you need to come out and ask

why this is. Administration is

giving you an opportunity to

express your concerns withthe direction of this

institution.

We'll be there asking

questions.

We hope you're there too.

7/30/2019 Nov 15 Final

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7/30/2019 Nov 15 Final

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Sports Editor: Autumn McDowellsports@carillonregina.com

the carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 2012sports

ROUNDTABLE

Don Healy

The Regina Rams fell to theCalgary Dinos 38-14 on Nov. 9,thus ending their season. Out ofthe 20 players who are graduat-ing this year, who do you think is

the most likely to continue theirfootball career?

Dupuis: If I had to put money onit, Id say Stefan Charles is a vir-tual lock to play pro footballsomewhere. Hes even gettinglooks from NFL scouts. It would

be great to see Mueller get anothershot at a CFL camp as well dudedeserves it.

Kreutzwiser: I would assumeMueller will continue on withfootball considering his familyhistory. However, Cody

Johnstone, I am expect ing bigthings from you in the future.

Potential Central Collegiate highschool football coach? I think so.

McDowell: Well, the blatantly ob-vious choices are Brett Jones andStefan Charles. Generally, unlessthe Central Scouting Bureau hor-ribly drops the ball, their top 10CFL draft picks are pretty solidand will continue playing football.I also think punter Chris Bodnarwill get his third attempt to cracka CFL roster, Ill bet in Hamilton.Bodnars already tried to make itin Edmonton and Saskatchewan;somewhere has to stick eventu-ally.

Neu: Wow, 20 players? Talk abouta major rebuilding season nextyear. There are a couple of playerswho could keep their football ca-reers alive. Kolton Solomon andMarc Meuller have already playedin the CFL preseason. JamirWalker might be another personto watch.

Gray: I think that any of theseplayers have the ability to con-

tinue in football and cant pick justone. With hard work and determi-nation they can make it to the CFLand maybe help the riders finallywin another Grey Cup.

Ottawa is supposed to have aCanadian Football League teamonce again in 2014. Many peoplewould like them to be called theRough Riders once again, whatdo you think their name shouldbe?

Dupuis: I would stick with theRenegades. Its a perfectly decentname that isnt already taken byone of the eight CFL teams. It

doesnt make much sense forthem to go with their old RoughRiders name, or does it? No, it re-ally doesnt.

Kreutzwiser: I saw on twitter notthat long ago a discussion aboutnaming the team and someonesaid something along the lines ofThe Ottawa Avro Arrows andsomeone responded that theirprogram would be cancelled bysome guy from Saskatchewan.Ha! Got to love Canadian history

jokes.

McDowell: Oh tough call. Well, Ithink the only logical name for the

new Ottawa team would be thePosse. I just find Ottawa Posse to

be a hilarious team name. That,and because the Wheeling Nailersis already a teams name.

Neu: This is dumb. The CFL hasfailed in the Ottawa market twicealready. The Ottawa AngryBeavers is what I would call them,

because its stupid, just like theidea to bring another team there.

Gray: I think their name should beThe Scandlers because thatswhere all the politicians like to callhome in their big building. Whilewe may not have had a ClintonIncident scandals have becomesynonymous with politics.

The Saskatchewan Roughridersfell to the Calgary Stampeders36-30 on Sunday. While we areall still rattled, which of theRiders players or personnel doyou hope get fired before nextseason?

Dupuis: Aside from the Hilltops

victory on Nov. 10, it was a toughweekend for Saskatchewan foot-

ball. The Riders showed some im-provement this year, but theyllneed a whole lot more if theywant to be playing in the GreyCup at home in 2013. I dont haveany definite answers, but I would-nt miss Chris Getzlaf and his but-terfingers one bit.

Kreutzwiser: Do not, I repeat, donot get rid of Getzlaf or Dressler, Ienjoy watching them. But mythinking is maybe its time to getrid of Durrant, so we can poten-tially get something out of it whilehe is still worth something.

McDowell: Get rid of fuckingGetzlaf. How people can still wanthim around is beyond me. He has

been absolutely brutal all season,how can we still be paying him tocatch the football? The kid sucks.Lets just take a look at his statsfrom the CFL West semi-final, ohwait, the ball hit him directly inthe face and he still couldnt catchit.

Neu: I would fire whoever is incharge of paying the writers forInside Green, I know its one ofthe Roughrider brass. Ive beenwaiting to be paid for articles Iwrote two months ago. Get yourshit together, assholes. I dontknow if I should be saying that

before I actually get paid.

Gray: Im not too sure, while thefavourite would be the guy who

blew the coverage but football is ateam game and the blame cant beplaced on him. Getzlaf dropped akey pass and there were othermiscues. Lets just hope they im-

prove next year.

What do you think about JustinBieber performing at the GreyCup half time show this year?

Dupuis: J-Biebs and C-Rae Jepssharing the stage with Big-GLightfoot? Looks like someone atthe CFL has been reading myemails or monitoring my in-creasingly erotic dreams. If its thelatter, I have a feeling were in forone hell of a disturbing halftimeshow.

Kreutzwiser: I already expressedmy opinion about this on twitter

saying when did the fans of CFLbecome 15-year-old girls? But,then again, Im a Belieber andwould take him over Nickelbackany day. Who really watches thehalf-time show anyways? Thatsreserved for drinking.

McDowell: We always get theworst people to play at the GreyCup. Well, I shouldnt be so harsh,there was that one time we hadNickleback. I hope my sarcasm is

coming across in this. Im sorrythat I dont want to hear some 95-pound child sing some song abouthis breakup with Saleena Gomez.Did you hear they broke up?

Neu: Its not really any worse thanthe usual half time entertain-ment we see every year. A friendof mine once said that he lost hisfaith in humanity after watchingone of the Super Bowl half timeshows.

Gray: I dont care. The reason whyIll be tuning into the half-timeshow this year would be forCarly-Rae Jepsen. I just wish I

could be there to see her live andenjoy the full experience, and thengo to the bathroom when Beibertakes the stage.

I am well aware that we stilldon't have NHL hockey, but whodo you think is the best captainin the league?

Dupuis: I think I gotta give it toShane Doan. The guy is a bornleader, and pure class for stickingit out in Phoenix, the undisputed

butthole of the NHL. Id followShane Doan anywhere. And Imean anywhere. Except maybe toPhoenix.

Kreutzwiser: Im just going to goout on a whim here and say thatSedin twin from the Canucks, be-cause I know a few people whocheer for them and would proba-

bly kill me if I said anything dif-ferent.

McDowell: Obviously its SidneyCrosby. I dont even need to listthe reasons why hes unreal, Ill

just name why other people suck.I debated this topic earlier in theweek as to whom was better,Iginla or Crosby. I know, it waslike taking candy from a baby.Iginla, really? All I have to say is,

how many cups does Iginla have?Oh, thats right. None.

Neu: Alexander Ovechkin be-cause he has several of his teethknocked out, which is manly asfuck. He is also good at skatingand all that other stuff.

Gray: The Sens fan in me isscreaming right now and itsscreaming one thing: Alfie! Alfie!He is one of the longest servingcaptains and has seen the best andworse of the Senators and has

been a staple for the franchise.

braden dupuis,paige kreutzwiser, autumnmcdowell, dietrich neu,britton graythis weeks roundtable

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sports the carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 201212

The U of R Rams made the trip toCalgary to battle for the HardyCup on Nov. 10 after disposing oftheir provincial rivals, theUniversity of SaskatchewanHuskies, one week earlier.

It would be their first trip tothe Canada West final in fiveyears, and for many on the team,their first trip ever.

Having won four straightCanada West titles, it was a differ-ent story for the Rams Hardy Cupopponents, the University ofCalgary Dinos.

They have more experiencethan us because theyve been tothe Vanier Cup, and theyve come

out of the west a couple years in arow now, said fifth-year Ramsdefensive back Jamir Walker be-fore the game. Were probablythe underdogs because of theirrecord, but we dont care aboutthat kind of stuff. Our coacheshave prepared us well for thisgame, so well be fine.

In terms of what that prepara-tion entailed, head coach FrankMcCrystal said it didnt differmuch from any other game.

It doesnt matter whether thisis the Hardy Cup or whether itsthe first game of the season, hesaid. You have to prepare and dowhat you can do based on what

you know about your team andyour opponent.

And what they know aboutthe Dinos is that theyre big, toughand experienced.

Youve just got to match theirintensity, said Rams quarterback,Marc Mueller. Playoff gamescome down to whos more physi-cal and who makes the big plays.

Unfortunately for the Rams, itwas a few big plays from Dinosrunning back Steven Lumbalathat would prove to be their un-

doing on a frigid Calgary eveningin November.

The fourth-year Calgary RBnetted 251 yards on 22 carries in a38-14 Dinos win.

But the lopsided final score is-nt representative of a game thatwas very close for three-and-a-half quarters of football.

The Rams defence held strongagainst a relentless Calgary of-fense until Mueller and the Ramsstarted to find a groove of theirown.

A third-quarter Rams drivewas punctuated by big catches

from slotback, Landon Buch who came up big for the Rams forthe second game in a row.

Buch finished off the drivehimself as short-yardage QB, giv-ing the Rams a 14-11 lead witheight minutes left in the thirdquarter.

But losing the lead for the firsttime did not sit well with theDinos.

A few possessions later,

Lumbala shifted the momentumback in Calgarys favour with a

pair of huge runs resulting in aDinos touchdown, and the reign-ing Canada West championswould not look back from there,scoring 27 unanswered points en

route to their fifth straight HardyCup victory.

For the Rams, its a disap-pointing end to a season thatshowed a lot of promise, and a lotof success.

Weve done very well,McCrystal said, citing a U of Rrecord, 10 Canada West all-starnominations and a pair of presti-gious individual nominations foroffensive lineman, Brett Jones.

Jones was nominated for theJ.P. Metras Trophy and the RussJackson Award, which recognizethe top lineman and the top stu-dent athlete in the CIS, respec-tively.

The team also earned somewell-deserved national exposurethrough the Hardy Cup game,which was broadcast nationwideon TSN.

In the end, the minor victoriesare little consolation for a teamthat feels it had what it takes to gothe distance.

But as McCrystal pointed out,theres only room for one team atthe top.

Thats just the nature of sportand competition, he said. Whenyou choose to compete, thats partof the deal. Theres only one guywhos really happy at the end.

The Cougars womens hockeyteam has their sights set on onething this year: a NationalChampionship.

The girls have set the bar highthis year, but with a record of 6-4-0 and currently sitting in fourthplace in the Canada West stand-ings, they just might be able topull it off.

Fifth-year leaders of thesquad, team captain RianneWight, and assistant captains GinaCampbell and Paige Wheeler, allfeel a sense of urgency to succeedin their final season.

Head coach, Sarah Hodges who is currently in her fourteenth

year as bench boss is also readyto win.

The team is having a fairlygood year so far and the playersseem happy with both their indi-vidual and team performances.

We had a strong start, saidWight, who leads the Cougarswith 10 points in 10 games so farthis season. We usually arent inthis good of a position this manygames in. Our defence are reallystepping up for us we have twogoaltenders fighting [for the num-

ber one spot],Both Campbell and Wheeler

noted that many areas of the teamhave improved, both mentioning

the talented rookies that havejoined the team this year, whothey think help to make the teama more well rounded squad.

Hodges also feels the team isstronger this year.

Weve played more consis-tently. Weve gotten points off ofevery team weve played, shesaid. We didnt do that last year.We need to continue to do that tomake the playoffs.

Compared to previous years,

the girls are doing very well. Thelast time the Cougars womenshockey team made playoffs was inthe 2009-10 season, where theysported a 7-11-6 record.

This years squad only needstwo wins to eclipse that mark.

After not making the playoffsfor the last three years it seems asif the girls are underdogs this year.

I think people thought wewere going to be like we were inprevious years, but were not, re-

marked Wheeler.Its good to be an underdog

because then you know everygame you have nothing to loseand you can give it your all,added Wight. Winning feels thatmuch better when youre not ex-pected to.

With their underdog status,the girls are hoping to fill thestands more and more with everywin.

We want to be a team that

brings crowds to the rink, re-marked Campbell.

Hodges however, doesnt feelas if the team is underdogs. Rather

she feels that every team starts offwith a clean slate every year.

I think everyone in ourleague knows that anyone can

beat any other team on any givennight, stated Hodges.

Overall, the girls are feelinggood about this season. However,this year they are wearing the cap-tains letters on their sleeves, andin the final season of their careers.

[There is] more pressure,more responsibility, noted Wight,You cant just go and play yourgame, you have to worry moreabout what other people are do-ing too.

As the team prepares to travel

to Edmonton this weekend to playthe University of Alberta Panda,they are in a good space.

Weve come a long way inthe pre-season, said Campbell.Were sitting at a good spot rightnow going into the Christmas

break and we will continue on [inthe New Year].

Hodges agreed withCampbell, but the veteran coachknows that the work isnt overyet.

Weve made progress insome areas, but we really need tocontinue to push and keep win-ning, she said.

A successful year comes to a disappointing endRams season comes to a close

ContendersSenior Cougars have their eye on the prize

facebook.com

I bet that huddle reeks of sweaty hockey gear

Tenielle Bogdan

Say hello to roughly five rebuilding years

taryn riemercontributor

braden dupuissports writer

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sportsthe carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 2012 13

The University of Regina has awide range of competitive sportsavailable: mens and womens

basketball, volleyball, track andfield, cross country, football, thelist goes on. However, there is alarge list of sports that are not of-fered such as baseball, rowing,lacrosse and field hockey just toname a few.

But why are certain sports in-cluded, while others are not?

The sad reality of it is that wejust do not have the money.

As much as we would like toagree with the famous sloganThere are some things moneycant buy, but for everything else

theres Mastercard, there just is-nt a big enough credit card tohelp out the U of R athletics de-partment.

Sports are expensive. Whenyou factor in costs of full timecoaches, travelling expenses,equipment, and practicing ven-ues, the cost of running a sport ata university level is steep.

Its not a matter of not want-ing, said Dick White, Director ofAthletics for the U of R. Its thatwere limited in the amount wecan offer just because of re-sources.

The teams already affiliatedwith the U of R do a significant

amount fundraising just to sus-tain themselves.

We have a football team thatis 85 per cent or more funded bythe community, explains White.

And even if the athletics de-partment wanted to consider tack-ing on another sport within ourschool, it could significantly hurtthe other sports programs alreadyavailable.

If we water down even morewhat we have, thats not going to

help us, as White points out,this is a program of excellence.

This does not mean that thedesire for obtaining more sportsisnt there. White states that theathletics department wouldntrule out any new sports in the fu-ture, but it wouldnt be an easytask.

Both universities in theprovince are under a fair amountof [financial] pressure right now,White said. So it would be very

difficult.And the desire from sports

teams wanting to become part ofthe U of R is there as well.However, becoming a competitiveclub team looks like the path theseteams must take if they want tohold the Cougars name.

Sports like rugby, softball, andcurling fall under the category ofcompetitive club, which is not un-der Whites jurisdiction of theCanadian Interuniversity Sport

(CIS) portfolio.The CIS offers a wide range of

sports, but it as well does not in-clude sports such as baseball,

lacrosse, golf, or softball.However, White explained

that the CIS is doing a review ofthe sports they offer.There are a number of other is-sues that are more pressing at thenational level right now, he said.

Might the CIS change its port-folio, we could possibly see itchange things at the universitylevel. But, the U of R, and otheruniversities in the same financialsituation, will probably not be af-fected largely by the changes inrespect to new sports.

As far as losing sports in thenear future, White confirms thatthe athletics department is not

looking at reducing participationby students right now.

I would rather look at op-tions that we can increase, andthat is where the competitive cluboption is a good opportunity, hesaid.

It is unfortunate that the op-portunity for having a larger listof sports available the U of Rcomes down to available money,

but such is life.For now, the idea of adding

more teams to the Cougars rosteris on hold.

[SATIRE] - Since the earliest oftroglodytes first picked up sticksand used them to beat the shit outof each other, sports and facialhair have been inextricably linked.

Warriors of every earthly erahave measured themselves by thelength of the hair that warmedtheir upper lips and to a lesserextent, their victories.

While the moustache hasfallen out of style in recentdecades, its legacy lives on in theworld of sports as a mark of truemanliness.

Here now is a factually inaccu-rate, chronologically questionablelook at the history of the mous-tache in sport.

Long before the modern hip-ster appropriated the noble mous-tache for his ill-conceived, ironicfashion statement, the upper-lip

fringe commanded a sense ofprestige that held no associationwhatsoever to prostate cancer.

One of its earliest adopters, infact, was the original hipster him-self, Jesus Christ.

Christ most notably rockedthe stache when he won Galilees14th annual Dead Sea Surftacular,a popular surfing contest at thetime, earning a record score of 9.5out of 10 from the judges.

It was later revealed, however,that Jesus tested positive for a

banned substance, costing him thetitle and earning him a lifetime

ban from surfing.It was a dark day for the

moustache, and one from which itwould not soon recover.

Following Jesus deception, itbecame extremely unfashionableto sport a moustache.

It would be more than 1,000years before the Knights of theMiddle Ages would restore somesemblance of righteousness to the

beleaguered facial styling.The Knights Code of Chivalry

stated that all knights shouldprotect others who cannot protectthemselves, while also sporting aluscious dusty.

During jousting matches, it be-came common for knights to ca-ress their moustaches with theirtongues under their helmets forgood luck. As an added bonus, itusually also tasted like the previ-ous nights goat, which gave themcourage.

The chivalrous nature of theKnights moustache would pro-vide a long-lasting popularity

boost to the moustache, which

would result in hundreds of yearsof good will.

The moustache would enjoyits unprecedented run of good for-tune until the early 20th century,when its facial fortitude wouldonce again be tested during the1936 Summer Olympics held inBerlin.

The games would foreverplace a dark, black, rectangularstain on the moustaches legacy,due to the controversy and scan-dal surrounding a key figure atthe event.

Alfred Schwarzmann, cele-brated German gymnast andnoted moustache enthusiast, re-

fused to shake his competitorshand after losing in the goldmedal round, shocking the com-

bined sports and moustacheworlds.

The fair-natured, chivalroussportsmanship associated withthe moustache was shattered, andthe course of moustache historyforever altered.

It was once again dark timesfor the moustache. This periodwould later come to be known asThe Days of the Unkempt.

It was uncertain if the mous-

tache would ever recover from thecombined damage done bySchwarzmann and the 1970s pornindustry.

And then came the 1980s.Suddenly, shame became a

thing of the past. Techno-popruled the airwaves, bright neoncolours surrounded every aspectof modern day life, and the mous-tache once again witnessed a ren-aissance brought about by severalrevolutionary sporting heroes.

Oakland Athletics pitcherRollie Fingers started the new-

wave era in the mid-70s when hegrew his now-famous SnidelyWhiplash in an attempt to win a$300 bet.

Not only did Fingers win thebet, he won the damaged hearts ofmoustache nation.

The moustache was back, indelirious fashion.

Following in Fingers foot-steps was professional wrestlerHulk Hogan, who laid claim tothe worlds blondest handlebarmoustache, and the legendaryhockey player, Lanny McDonald,who took the concept of the mous-tache to new and exhilaratingheights.

These were good days to be amoustache supporter, but like allgood things, the good times hadto come to an end.

These days, the world existsonly in the whispy shadows of themoustache, longing for the dayswhen it stood for more than just atool of prostate cancer awareness

or ironic self-importance.Though they dare not speak it

aloud, the people still yearn forwhiskered legitimacy; for tuft-lipped heroes on cold winternights.

The world waits in earnest forthe moustache to rise again, but ifhistory is any indication, it shant

be waiting long.

Once again, this article is a pure workof fiction, hopefully that is obvious.The Carillon is sure that if Jesus didlike to surf, he wouldnt have been as

good at it as Braden is making itsound.

Well never have a baseball team, will we?

Not offered

Moustache history 101Everyone relax, this is pure fiction

Arthur Ward

Just look at that muzzy

neogaf.com

What the hell is that?

braden dupuissports writer

paige kreutzwiesercontributor

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sports the carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 201214

In my world, there are only twoseasons: Summer and hockey.

Unfortunately, both of thoseseasons have been simultaneouslyripped out of my dead, lifeless fin-gers and I have been left sitting ina pool of my own filth, betterknown to the rest of the world assoccer season.

However, because I wouldrather watch paint dry than soc-cer, and because I have developedsomewhat of a following for mywhat the puck? column thats acomplete lie, no one reads this I

have been forced to come up withsome hockey related current eventto write a hilarious and sarcasticrant about every week.

With no real hockey to speakof, writing these rants has becomeincreasingly impossible, and thisweek was no different.

If the NHL could get their acttogether and put together somehigh quality hockey before theend of the world, then I would atleast have a big game, fight, or hitto talk about; but no.

Instead, I am forced to rackmy brain weekly about what ob-scure hockey thing I can discussand also make entertaining its a

rather daunting task.My immediate thought for

this weeks column was to go on atangent about how few hockeygames are played in Regina whenyou need them.

On Friday, Nov. 9 my friendand I went searching for a decenthockey game to watch in the citywhile tipping a few tall ones back

and found that less than nothingwas available.

There was no Cougars, Pats,Junior B, Junior C or Senior gamesto speak of can you believe that?I mean, I was actually willing tosit through a Junior C game.

But, due to this unfortunateset of circumstances the closestdecent hockey game I use the

term decent loosely was aJunior B tilt in White City, because

of the apparently deadly snow-fall and over protective parents,we were forced to sit through twoAdult Safe Hockey games killme now.

I swear to God, I am betterthan half of those players and Icant even stop.

After realizing that it is proba-bly extremely rare to have so few

hockey games happening inRegina on a Friday night, and that

I just had terrible luck, I was thengoing to try and debate whyDonald Fehr is to blame for theNHL lockout and how the negoti-ations have come to a halt onceagain and how the significantprogress that was being madewas a bunch of bullshit to keepidiot fans like me interested.

But, I have built up such astrong hate for Gary Bettman, thatsaying any part of the lockoutwasnt entirely his fault made mefeel hollow inside.

My next thought was to writeabout why I love the PittsburghPenguins. This was spurred by aFacebook debate I engaged in

over who was better, Pittsburghor the Calgary Flames. Naturally,I won the debate, because theFlames, really?

However, everyone alreadyknows how much betterPittsburgh is than everyone else,so this would be a pointless col-umn.

All of these possible columnideas seemed great in my head,

but were actually quite terribleonce I got them on paper. Evenafter all of my questions that haveyet to be answered about hockeyand the lockout specifically, onlyone thing can be certain: I willnever be a soccer fan.

Mens hockey

The Cougars mens hockey team

went to war with the top team inthe Canada West last weekendand finished with a splittingheadache once again.

On Nov. 9, the Cougars madethe life-threatening trip toSaskatoon during a blizzard. Oncethere, they put up a great fightagainst the Huskies that was high-lighted by second-year goal-tender, Andrew Hayes, 40-saveperformance.

However, the Cougars lost tothe Huskies 2-1 in overtime, butthey would make up for it thevery next night in their home

barn.Regina flipped the script on

the Huskies and scored a 2-1 vic-tory over their highway rivals,and earned a valuable two pointsin the standings.

The Cougars, now 6-3-1, willface the University of AlbertaGolden Bears (9-3-0) this Fridayand Saturday at The CooperatorsCentre, puck drops at 7 p.m.

Womens basketball

After their unusual 1-1 start to theseason, the Cougars womens bas-ketball team got back on the win-ning track against the Universityof Winnipeg Wesmen.

The Cougars cruised to two

dominating wins over the

Wesmen on Nov. 9-10.The first night featured a 20-

point performance from fourth-year guard Michelle Clarke,which easily propelled theCougars to an 81-60 victory.

Lets just think about that for asecond. Even if the Cougars werecompletely without Clarke, theystill would have won. It must suckto be Winnipeg.

The next night wasnt muchbetter as the Cougars managed adominating win once again; thistime it was 76-55 for the visitors.

The Cougars look to continuetheir crushing ways this weekendfor a pair of afternoon games on

Saturday and Sunday against the

Manitoba Bisons (2-2) at theCentre for Kinesiology, Healthand Sport. Tip off is at a specialtime of 1p.m.

Mens basketball

While the Cougars womens bas-ketball team was crushingWinnipeg, the mens team wasgetting crushed.

The mens team fell behindearly on night No. 1 to theWesmen and could never recover,ultimately leading to an 88-73loss.

Although Regina was able toput up a fight against the Wesmen

during the first quarter on night

No. 2, they could not keep up thepace set by Winnipeg, and so theywere handed their second loss ofthe weekend, 92-74.

One bright spot from theCougars rather dismal weekendwas Frank Brown. The PhoenixCollege transfer has led Regina inpoints in every game so far thisseason.

Brown currently ranks third inthe conference with an average of23-points per game and also leadsCanada West with 17 three-point-ers made.

The Cougars will look to getback on the winning track againstthe University of Manitoba (2-2)

this Saturday and Sunday. Tip offis scheduled for 3 p.m. followingthe womens game.

Cross Country

Can anyone catch Kelly Wiebe?

Seriously, the fifth-yearCougars runner absolutely domi-nated the CIS championships inLondon, Ont. on Nov. 10. Wiebewas not satisfied with just being anational champion; he had to do itin record-setting fashion.

Wiebe finished the 10-kilome-tre track with a time of 30 min-utes and 21 seconds, absolutelycrushing the old course record byroughly 36 seconds.

To fully demonstrate howdominant Wiebe was on thecourse, it should be noted that thesecond-place finisher was a full 44seconds behind Wiebe -- thats,like, two hours in cross country

time.Due mostly to Wiebes strong

finish, the Cougars mens crosscountry team finished secondwith 53 points.

Fourth-year Cougar, KarissaLePage, had the best finish forReginas womens team, placing17th a full 29 places better thanher finish in 2011 with a time of18 minutes and six seconds on thefive-kilometre course.

Wiebe was named a Canada-West first-team all-star, and a first-team All Canadian, obviously.

This is going nowhere fast

Love hockey, hate soccer

HighlightsEveryone needs to be more like Kelly Wiebe

Emily Wright

Bill Guerin

Yum.

autumn mcdowellsports editor

what the puck?autumn mcdowell

sports editor

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Visual Editor: Arthur Wardgraphics@carillonregina.com

the carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 2012graphics

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the carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 2012featuresIs this a dagger which I seebefore me?

Cuts to Arts may prove stressful for the Department of Englishin the coming years

Tenielle Bogdan

If theres a department that knowstragedy, its likely English. And,

theyd tell you that a 50 per centreduction in courses offeredwould indeed prove to be quitetragic.

In a document titled TheImpact of Proposed Cuts to theBudget of the Faculty of Arts onthe Ability of the Department ofEnglish to Offer Its Programssent to administration and vari-ous faculty members, DepartmentHead Dr. Nicholas Ruddickwrote, [U]nless alternative ses-sional and TA funding can befound to modify the effect of theproposed cuts, there will be a re-duction of at least ~50% (200 re-duced to 100 courses) and more

likely as much as ~57% (200 re-duced to 85 courses) in the totalannual number of ENGL coursesthat can be offered over the nextthree years. In particular, ENGL100 offerings are likely to shrink toa small fraction of the current an-nual norm, with major conse-quences for all students requiringthis course.

The Department of English isin this situation due over one mil-lion dollars in cuts to the Facultyof Arts over the past four years.For the 2012-13 academic year, theFaculty of Arts was asked to makereductions in expenses totaling$420,000, or three per cent of its

overall budget. In 2011-12 no cutswere asked to be made, but theFaculty was asked to cut $313,000and $312,000 in 2010-11 and 2009-10 respectively.

[Central administration]

give[s] us [a] budget but allow[s]us to retain decision makingpower over how that budget will

be spent. Departments ... in asense have some autonomy too--limited autonomy in a sense thatmost of our budget is determined

by salary, and I cant really domuch about that because we haveto go on paying these people. But,there are certain areas where wehave a little bit of leeway ses-sionals, TAs, and so on. I leavethat to the departments; I try togive them a lump sum amount,and its up to them to figure outhow to spend it, said Dr. RichardKleer, Dean of Arts.

While every department andfaculty at this university is doingall it can to become more efficient,Kleer said he doesnt know howfar these kinds of efficiency gainscan go in helping us to deal withthe effects of further cuts.

The possible gains are cer-tainly nowhere near enough to re-lieve English or Philosophy of thekinds of damage they might befacing should budgetary cuts con-tinue at their current pace or evenincrease, said Kleer.

The Department of Englishmet with Kleer and Dr. TomChase, Provost and Vice-President(Academic), on Oct. 26 to discuss

Ruddicks aforementioned ImpactAssessment, but feels the answershe received were insufficient.

We asked him [Chase] whatplans the university had for a sce-nario in which this zero per cent

over three year cuts was in opera-tion, and the English departmentwould only be able to offer lessthan half the courses that its cur-rently offering, said Ruddick.We got an explanation of the im-pact of the provincial governmentcuts on the university as a whole,

but we didnt get an answer to thequestion ... I dont think he knows,frankly.

Chase said that administrationis aware of the situation the de-partment is in, but added, I dontthink the English department isin crisis ... if the government givesus zero per cent on the grant thisyear and zero per cent on the

grant next year, the English de-partment will be quite stressed.

These cuts are due to the po-tential that the university may getonly a two per cent increase in its

operating grant from the provin-cial government or a worst-casescenario in which over the nextthree years the operating grant isnot increased.

Every faculty has been asked

to come up with scenarios inwhich over the next three yearswe get zero per cent, saidRuddick.

The Faculty of Arts struck amanagement committee to tryand manage these cuts. The com-mittee hoped that it would be ableto manage these cuts with ease,

but it turns out that we cant dothat painlessly.

The Faculty of Arts essen-tially cannot handle any cuts. It

just doesnt have anything to cut,said Ruddick. The only signifi-cant amounts of money that can

be cut are to the sessional and theTA budget, unless youre talking

about salaries, and of course, wedont have any ability to sack peo-ple.

This would prove drastic forthe department as Ruddick noted

how reliant the Department ofEnglish is on a sessional budget,with 36 non-permanent facultymembers teaching Englishcourses in the 2012-13 academicyear.

Nonetheless, Kleer said thatsessionals and TAs would be thelast thing to go.

In the current frameworkthat weve laid out in this Self-Management Committee, wevesaid, Thats the most valuablekind of spending we do. If wehave to cut that, it will be the lastthing that we cut. Take a case likethe English department. A vastpercentage of the teaching thatthey do is done by sessionals. Tolose that teaching capacity woulddo major harm to that depart-ment, would do major harm toseveral other departments as well.So, why would we want to cut

that first?Even if the TA and sessional

budgets would be the last thing togo, theyre the only substantialfunds left that can go.

The only savings to Arts op-erations within the purview of theManagement Committee would

be through cutting the sessionaland TA budgets even thoughcourses taught by sessionals as-sisted by TAs actually earn a lot ofmoney for the university!Ruddick wrote in the fall editionof the Department of Englishnewsletter, Inklings.

paul bogdanarts editor

[W]e actually cant find a way of making[the department] more efficient, frankly. Iwould say its pretty damn efficient already.

Dr. Nicholas Ruddick, Head of the Department of English

Act I: A hit, a very palpable hitScene a mid-sized prairie university

NICHOLAS sits at his desk, head in hands

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featuresthe carillon | Nov. 15 - 21, 2012 17

In fall 2012 there are 56 sections ofEnglish 100 offered. Ruddick saidthat if teaching those courses wasup to permanent faculty alonethere wouldnt be enough ofthem to teach anything else, sotheyd be teaching just the service

course. We wouldnt have anEnglish department. We would-nt have any English majors at all.I dont think wed have enough[faculty] even then, to be perfectlyhonest.

However, other methods ofdelivering a service course likeEnglish 100 are employed byother universities.

They have very large sectionsof the first year English, as large as

their universities can manage 500 to 800 students. And, the pro-fessors (the permanent staff) lec-ture a couple of times a week, andthen these groups are brokendown into smaller seminar groupsthat are presided over usually by

TAs, and those TAs are generallygraduate students.

Nevertheless, this option isnot feasible here because thoughwe have graduate students, wedont have nearly enough gradu-ate students to think about doingthat. Moreover, if the TA budgetmust be cut, this option is madeeven more unthinkable and ulti-mately impossible as the amountof marking required to teach a

course that size by a single profes-sor would be insurmountable.

The TAbudget will go beforethe sessional budget goes, and soyou can have a professor teach-ing 800 English 100 students, butthe problem comes then with

something like the marking.English 100 requires three take-home papers amounting to about3,000 words, and usually two orthree other written pieces over thecourse of the semester. So, youvegot six pieces of marking, and atthe moment our cap is 40 [stu-dents per class]. So, youve al-ready got 240 pieces of markingthat the instructor is doing on hisor her own. If you multiple that by

five or six, it becomes simply im-possible for a professor to offerEnglish 100 as it has been.

Currently, Ruddick said theuniversity is operating at its max-imum capacity students in a givenEnglish 100 class, and some could

even argue that its already ex-ceeded this capacity.

40 [students per class] is actu-ally slightly beyond the max ca-pacity. The federated colleges infact have 35 max. We have 40 be-cause we have a writing centremanned by our TAs there, and weuse that as a kind of supplement.

Still, Chase said the universityneeds to look at determiningwhether the way the curriculum is

currently delivered is the rightone.

Are our structures the rightones? If we feel that we need lowenrollment in English 251[Expository and PersuasiveWriting] to provide really good

feedback to students, and we limitthem to 15 [students per class],and historically we wind up with11 students, is that a good use ofresources? If English 100 is magi-cally capped at 40, and our feder-ated colleges do it at 35, I meanwhat are the right ways to deliverthe curriculum?

Can the English department con-tinue to operate in its currentways? Chase said this needs to

be looked at very carefully.Ruddick feels the department

is coming to a point where it hastwo options: one, to continue tooffer the service courses as itsdone in the past, or two, continueto have a functioning Departmentof English by offering courseshigher than the 100-level.

What we can abandon arethose courses which are not partof our majors program, the servicecourses that we spend hugeamounts of time and energy man-ning, English 100 and to a certain

extent English 110. They count fora very large proportion of our en-rollment.

We, the full-time professori-ate, are in it to teach Englishcourses to English majors. Thatsour main job. The English servicecourse is very useful for the uni-versity, and its a very goodcourse, but it doesnt recruit stu-dents to become English majors.Youll notice theyre called CriticalReading and Writing; theyre not

called Introduction to Literatureor anything like that. They are in-tended to help students to readand write better, and they do itvery effectively.

And, if this is the case,Ruddick said hes going to con-tinue running a functioningEnglish department.

As an English department,certainly as the head, I feel thatmy chief duty is to the Englishmajors ... My position would bethat we continue to man theEnglish program at the expenseof the service courses. The univer-sity administration might say,No, youve got to teach the serv-

ice courses. In that case, therewont be an English program. So,its one or the other.

If these cuts do go ahead,even if its not within three years,even if its five years or six yearsor whatever, if there starts to bereal pressure on our ability to hiresessionals to teach [English] 100,therell be fewer and fewer sec-tions of [English] 100, saidRuddick.

The effect of this is that stu-

dents will have to wait to get intoa course that is required by thevast majority of programs here atthe U of R. If the sessional budgetwere to go, Ruddick estimatestherell only be 16 sections ofEnglish 100 instead of 84.

[Students] will have to waitlonger and longer to get English100. What will the university do?Will it remove the English 100 re-quirement? You cant really dothat because its not a universityrequirement its a faculty re-quirement, and its imposed bythe various faculties. I doubtwhether engineering or nursingcan remove an English 100 re-

quirement and keep their accred-itation, said Ruddick.

The Department Head hopesto keep delivering courses in theway theyre being delivered cur-rently because theyre better ped-agogically for the students.Other ways of teaching a courselike English 100 exist, but theyrenot as good pedagogically.

Increasing the class sizes willhave a pedagogical detriment on aclass like English 100 or 110 be-

cause a larger class size will meanit will necessarily be watereddown with less assignments.

Youre basically going tohave less writing. Its inevitable.At what point does English 100

become insufficient for the pur-pose? I dont know. Its certainlyinsufficient for the purpose if itdoesnt have writing assign-ments, said Ruddick.

The Department Head alsochampioned the efficiency inwhich his department is running.

Weve looked at our programhere in English, and we actuallycant find a way of making it moreefficient, frankly. I would say its

pretty damn efficient already,said Ruddick.

Additionally, according toRuddick, there isnt much else theEnglish department could do to

be more financial ly efficient andretain its pedagogical integrity.

We cant raise the cap formost of the courses ... we couldonly do that and water down thepedagogical element in the servicecourses ... I dont think, until veryrecently, the senior administration

realized what the effects of cutslike these to arts would be. I thinkthey thought there was a lot of fatin the arts budget, by fat I meanlots of money being expanded oninefficient programs and so on,said Ruddick.

Kleer also said that the Facultyof Arts has no fat left to discardwithin its budget.

We talked about ... years ofprevious cuts thats eliminatedmost of the fat, to the extent thatthere was any to begin with. Itsnow going to be much harder tofind ways of coping. Fat in thiscase means mostly losing posi-tions from fairly large depart-

ments. I dont know if you want tocall that fat. So, when I say thatwere running out of fat ... weregetting to the point, in some unitsat least, if we cannot replace thepeople who are departing, wecant carry on in those units.Somethings going to have togive, said Kleer.

At the end of June 2012, theDepartment of English lost threeand-a-half permanent facultymembers, none of which were re-placed by anybody, not even asessional.

This is due to the fact that theFaculty of Arts cannot afford tohire new professors to replace re-tiring ones even though a retir-ing professor is costing the facultymuch more money in salary than

a new, younger replacement pro-fessor would. In Ruddicks words,The deans, in a sense, dont havethe financial ability now to replacepositions within their own faculty

because they dont have the finan-cial power over their own opera-tions. When it comes to things likesalaries, they dont have thepower to simply replace some-

body retiring with somebodycoming in even if it involves sav-

ing money.The Dean of Arts confirmed

he cannot afford to replace retiringfaculty.

We already have very littlediscretionary spending. We couldcut that [discretionary spending],first off, but that would mean get-ting rid of sessional instructorswho are quite numerous in ourfaculty. So, when we have to findthe money to give back, rather

than give that back, we simplydont replace (at the moment) fac-ulty members, said Kleer.

Chase said whether a facultycan afford to replace retiringmembers depends on two things:on allocations to the faculty andon allocations within the faculty.

One of the things the deandoes very, very carefully is to con-sult with the department headsand say, Okay, we have X number

of retirements in this faculty.Where are we going to put the re-placements? ... theyve got tomake that decision. If you want a

blunt answer, can we replaceeveryone who has retired in ex-actly the same area? My answer toyou, very bluntly, is not necessar-ily, said Chase.

Dealing with this situation ofbudget cuts previously, theFaculty of Arts maintained the no-tion of keep[ing] all boats afloat;the Faculty would do its best tomaintain all its existing programs.However, this option is lookinglike its no longer viable.

Our principle in the past hasmostly been lets try to keepeverybody alive. And so, well di-rect resources to the departmentsthat are really hurting. Thatworked when we still had a rea-sonable amount of fat, but as de-partments get smaller and smaller,Im not sure that its going to

work anymore. So, we might haveto go to a different set of princi-ples that says we cant keep every-thing alive. Were going to have tomake some choices, said Kleer.

Chase said the universityneeds to take into considerationthe demands of enrollment whenconsidering allocating funds tothe faculties.

In engineering, in several ar-eas including petroleum and envi-ronmental assistance, we aretotally maxed out. Were actuallynot able to accept more students.In other areas of campus, we are

badly undersubscribed. If we do

not respond to student demand,as a public institution and a pub-licly funded institution, were ac-tually turning people away insome areas while keeping vacantcapacity in others, said Chase.

Yet, Ruddick feels a two percent increase or status quo operat-ing grant should not require majorcuts to the faculties.

It shouldnt be rocket scienceto do something about it insofaras the program is taught pretty ef-ficiently already, so its a matter ofmaintaining it somehow, butwhere will the money come from?Thats the question. Who will give

us the money to put on thecourses?

Furthermore, Ruddick saidthat his department does notgrossly outspend what it bringsin, but he also notes that the factthat whether the Department ofEnglish is/isnt a financial burdenon the university is irrelevant tothe nature of its funding.

Isnt that irrelevant in theend? Isnt this a university, theaim of which is actually, so tospeak, educate the students tothink for themselves, to be able toread and write efficiently? Well,how can you put a dollar value

on something like that?The frustrating thing for the

department is that nobodyknows what the English depart-ment will really look like in thecoming years. It will dependupon the provincial government,its budget, and how much moneyfrom that budget gets through tous, said Ruddick.

I guess the size of yourEnglish class or