NLP for Business & Personal Success Online Manual

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saladbe who you are, do what you love NLP for Business & Personal Success

- 1 -email:[email protected] www.saladltd.co.uk

2002 Jamie Smart

salad

NLP for Business & Personal Success

Manual
http://www.saladltd.co.uk/http://www.saladltd.co.uk/http://www.saladltd.co.uk/


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Table of Contents

What is NLP?..........................................................................3The Fundamentals................................................................... 4

Presuppositions ...................................................................... 5Rapport .................................................................................6Outcomes & Directions............................................................. 7Sensory Acuity ....................................................................... 8Representational Systems ........................................................ 9Representational System Predicates ........................................ 10Eye Accessing Cues............................................................... 11States ................................................................................. 12Anchoring ............................................................................ 13Bibliography......................................................................... 14

Recommended Reading.......................................................... 15


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What is NLP?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed starting in theearly 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, when they set out

to model the work of geniuses in the field of human communicationand change. The term NLP is used to describe both the approach tomodelling that they used, and the powerful models ofcommunication and change they created (and that they and othershave continued to develop.)

In the Society of NLP Trainer Training Manual (1999), RichardBandler describes NLP as follows:

NLP is an attitude, characterised by the sense of curiousity and

adventure and a desire to learn the skills to be able to find out whatkinds of communication influences somebody and the kinds ofthings worth knowing; to look at life as a rare and unprecedentedopportunity to learn. NLP is a methodology based on the overalloperational presupposition that all behaviour has a structureandthat structure can be modelled, learned, taught and changed (re-programmed.) The way to know what will be useful and effectiveare the perceptual skills. NLP has evolved as an innovativetechnology enabling the practitioner to organise information andperceptions in ways that allow them to achieve results that wereonce inconceivable.

In Whispering in the Wind(2001), Grinder & St.Clair describe itthus:

(NLP) is a modelling technology whose specific subject matter isthe set of differences that make the difference between theperformance of geniuses and that of average performers in thesame field or activity

About that name

NeuroThe nervous system, including the brain and the five senses.

LinguisticThe verbal & non-verbal language symbols with which we code &transmit meaning.

ProgrammingThe ability to structure our neurological and linguistic systems to

achieve certain results.


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The Fundamentals

The fundamentals of NLP are straightforward:

1. Know what you want (Outcome / Direction)One of the key NLP questions is What do you want?. The humannervous system can be thought of as goal-seeking, and you tend toget what you focus on. Well-formed outcomes are an important toolfor ensuring that you get more of what you want in your life.

2. Get the attention of the unconscious mind (Rapport)

The map is not the territory. You must start where the personyou wish to influence is (the Present State.) Rapport is theprocess of getting the attention and trust of the unconscious mind.

3. Know whether youre getting what you want (SensoryAcuity)

Once you know where you want to go, you need to be able to notice(using one or more senses) whether or not you are going there.Sensory acuity refers to the ability to notice the signs that you aremoving in the right direction (or otherwise.)

4. Adjust what youre doing accordingly (BehaviouralFlexibility)

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting adifferent result. When you notice that you are not getting whatyou want, you need the flexibility to change what you are doing inorder to get a different result. Intelligence is the ability to have a

fixed goal and be flexible about how you achieve it.


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Presuppositions

The following list is a selection of presuppositions or assumptions of

the NLP model. They are not true, but can be very useful forsuccessful communication & influence.

The map is not the territory Each person is unique Having choice is better than not having choice. People make the best choice available to them at the time Every behaviour has a positive intention. The meaning of the communication is the response you get. There is no failure, only feedback The resources the individual needs are already within them. The meaning of a communication is the response you get There is a solution to every problem There is no failure, only feedback Mind and body are one system The one with the most flexibility of thought and action is most

likely to succeed

Challenge: Consciously adopt one or two of thesepresuppositions as beliefs (you can pretend to believe it ifyou dont really believe it) in situations that have seemedstuck in the past, and notice what changes.


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Rapport

Rapport has been described as what happens when we get the

attention of someones unconscious mind, and meet them at theirmap of the world. It is more commonly understood as the sense ofease and connection that develops when you are interacting withsomeone you trust and feel comfortable with.

Rapport can be established on many levels: speaking the same

language supporting the same team having a common interest

wearing similar clothing breathing at the same rate matching body language matching voice tone

Rapport is a starting point for successful communication andinfluence, and the rapport built up with techniques such asmatching and mirroring can give the impression of a deep sense ofconnection and trust (the basis of the we like people who are likeus school of influence.) Matching and mirroring often developspontaneously, and are a good sign that you are in rapport withsomeone. Matching will develop rapport; mismatching will reduceit. When mirroring isnt appropriate, you can build rapport bycross-over mirroring (eg. Matching their breathing rate with yourspeech rate.) Try matching:

Body posture Hand gestures Half body Head tilt

Vocal qualities Key phrases Predicates Eyeblinks

Facial expression Energy level Breathing Anything else

Pacing and leading is the key to influencing people. It refers tomeeting them at their map of the world (pacing) and then takingthem where you want them to go (leading.) The simplest, mosteffective test for rapport is if you lead, they follow.

Challenge: Discover how many different ways you candevelop rapport with people in your day to day life. NB Choose low risk situations to experiment with at first.


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Outcomes & Directions

The human nervous system is goal-seeking and will always tend toorganise around a specific result or set of results. These results arereferred to in NLP as outcomes.

A well-formedoutcome or direction has the following attributes:

1. Stated in the positive (What do you want?)Negatives are not processed by the nervous system in the sameway that they are linguistically (eg. The command Dont think of apurple hippopotamus is difficult to obey.) It is therefore most

effective to state any desired outcome or direction in the positive.

2. Sensory evidence (How will you know when youve gotit?)The outcome should be evidenced in terms of what you will see, feeland hear when youve got it (at the very minimum.) This gives thenervous system a rich representation of the desired result.

3. Initiated & maintained by the individual who wants itIt is not possible to control the behaviour and internal states ofother people; we are only responsible for our own behaviour andinternal states. Well-formed outcomes cannot be dependent on thebehaviours and emotions of other people. They must initiated andmaintained by the person who wants the outcome / direction.

4. Preserves the positive by-products of the currentsituationEvery behaviour and every current situation (including problemstates) has some positive intention, often outside of consciousawareness. It is important to maintain this in the desired state /situation.

5. EcologicalThe desired outcome must be appropriate to the wider system towhich the individual belongs. It is important to examine how it willaffect (eg.) family, friends, colleagues, financial situation, timeavailability, sense of self etc.

Challenge: Discover how many areas of your life can becomemore effortless and enjoyable as you begin to structure whatyou want using the well-formed outcome conditions.


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Sensory Acuity

Watch and listen! This is one of the main secrets to becominghighly skilled at NLP. The processes taking place inside a personsmind are reflected to a greater or lesser extent on the outside, insuch phenomena as:

Body posture Hand gestures Head tilt Vocal qualities (tone, rate,

volume etc)

Key phrases Sensory predicates Eye-blinks Pupil dilation Rapid eye movement Facial expression Facial symmetry /

asymmetry

Lower lip size Energy level Breathing rate Breathing patterns Skin colour

Muscle tonus Pore dilation Sentence length Non-verbal utterances Involuntary movements Metaphors Anything else you can

perceive!

You can train your senses to perceive more and more of what ishappening in the other person distinctions that would previouslyhave been invisible.

Tip: Minimise your internal dialogue by breathing deeply,relaxing your throat muscles, placing the tip of your tonguejust behind your upper front teeth and letting your jaw dropslightly. Youll see and hear more! If your internal dialogueinterrupts your awareness, say Shut the &*!% up! insideyour head. Repeat as necessary.

Challenge: Choose a different area of behaviour from the listabove to pay attention to every day. Notice how quickly itspossible for you to begin seeing and hearing more and morethat was previously invisible.


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Representational Systems

According to the Concise Oxford Dictionaryto representsomethingis to call up in the mind by description, portrayal or imagination.

Representational systems (rep systems) are the means by whichhuman beings are able to do this. In the Neuro HypnoticRepatterningTMManual(2000), Richard Bandler and John La Valleoffer the following description:

Human beings experience themselves and the world they live inthrough the primary modalities of the five sensesSeeing, Hearing,Feeling, Smelling and Tasting. The sensory modalities by whichpeople encode, organise, store, and attach meaning to perceptualinput are referred to as REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS. As sensory

input is internally processed (re-presented), it is translated intocorresponding sensory representations (or maps) that constitute alikeness or synthesis of the original perceptual input. This mayseem obvious, yet very important to remember..."reality and outperceptions of reality are not the sameThe Map is not theTerritory.

When people are thinking, they are using representational systemsto do so. By paying attention to the things people are doing andsaying, it is possible to get intuitions about which representationalsystems are in consciousness at a given point in time, and whichones are out of consciousness. These intuitions will give youadditional choices as a communicator. Clues to whichrepresentational systems are being used to process can be found bypaying attention to:

Spoken language (see Representational System Predicates) Eye movements (see Eye Accessing Cues) Hand gestures Breathing Head position Voice tone Voice pace Challenge: Become curious about how many different ways

you can find to figure out the rep systems someone else isfavouring.


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Representational System Predicates

One of the easiest ways for you to get a sense of the rep systemsomeone is favouring at a point in time is through their language.

As you become more aware of the sensory specific words thatpeople use, you will begin to become more sensitised to the repsystem they are most aware* of using to process at that moment.

Below are some examples of words that indicate a particular repsystem for an exhaustive list, see Appendix A.

Visual (see) See, perspective, view, focus, look, light, clear

Auditory (hear) hear, sound, say, tell, talk, tone, ring, click,clear

Kinaesthetic(feel)

Feel, handle, grip, hold, heavy, light, hang, light

Olfactory (smell) smell, scent, stink, essence, rotten, odour,sweet

Gustatory (taste) Taste, sour, bland, tasty, tangy, sharp, salty,sweet

You will also notice people using turns of phrase that indicatecertain preferences, for instance:

That rings a bell; we just clicked; do you hear what Im saying I see what you mean; look at it from my point of view It feels good to me; get a handle on this I smell a rat Just give me a flavour of thisWhen you use language from the same rep system(s) that theperson you are communicating with is using, it creates more trustand rapport. If you mismatch their rep systems, it will diminish thelevel of trust and rapport.

Challenge: Start noting down the words and phrases thatyou see and hear other people using and that you feelindicate a particular rep system preference.

You will discover that many people are not consciously awarethat they are using rep systems. If you have some purpose formaking them aware of this, do it gently!


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Eye Accessing Cues

You may have noticed that when people are thinking, their eyesoften move. These movements correspond to certain mentalactivities and, while each persons specific eye movements are

unique to them, a general pattern has been observed (seediagram.)

This diagram shows the standard eye accessing positions for aperson facing you, ie. what you would see as you look at them.

Position Description Elicitation Example

VisualRemembered

Rememberedimages.

Remember what you saw on your lastholiday.

What colour is your front door?VisualConstructed

Inventedimages, futureimages.

Imagine your best friend with purplehair.

Imagine a giraffe with the head of arhino.

AuditoryRemembered

Recalledsounds.

Recall your favourite persons voice. Hear a song you like.

AuditoryConstructed

Inventedsounds.

Hear a cat miaowing the nationalanthem.

Say your name backwards.InternalDialogue

Talking tothemselves.

Tell yourself that you can enjoylearning easily.

Who was your last phone conversationwith?

Kinaesthetic

Feelings andemotions.

Can you feel your socks on your feet? How do you feel when you laugh?

Tip: Make sure you are looking at the person when you eliciteye accessing (or any other) responses these can go byfast.


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States

States are configurations of physiology and neurology, body andmind. The following words can be thought of as descriptions of

certain states:

Love Happiness Confidence Sadness Joy

Creativity Flow Nervousness Amusement Affection

Fear Focus Comfort Relaxation Trance

Each of these words describes a different experience for eachperson.

Problems & Solutions

When people are experiencing a specific problem, there is typicallya state associated with that problem. Similarly, when a personfinds a solution, or experiences the resource they need to providethat solution, it too is usually wrapped in a state. For this reason,the ability to alter your own or someone elses state is very useful.

External Signs

There are usually external signals that accompany a particularstate. When you imagine someone who is feeling ecstatic, they arelikely to look different to someone who is feeling down. Thesedifferences are also likely to be evident in voice analogues (eg.Tone, volume) and many other external signals.

Eliciting States

You can experience any state that you have felt at some point inyour life. One way to do this is to think of a time when you had thestate you want, then step into the experience. See what you saw,hear what you heard and feel what you felt you will start to sensethe state building. You can then anchor this experience (see

Anchoring) by squeezing your thumb & forefinger together andsaying the name of the state, just before it peaks. You can then re-access the state by firing this anchor.

Tip: If you want someone else to access a great state (Eg.Excitement), go there firstyourself.

Challenge: How many great states can you build &anchor?


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Anchoring

An anchor is any representation in the human nervous system thattriggers any other representation. For instance, the word lion willimmediately trigger images, sounds etc associated with the word

lion. The word chocolate will trigger different associations. Thesewords are anchors. Anchors can operate in any representationsystem. Some examples:

tonal (eg. the special way a certain person has of saying yourname)

tactile (eg. The effect of a certain type of handshake) visual (eg. The way people respond to certain items of clothing) olfactory (eg. The effect of smelling fresh lemons) gustatory (eg. The taste of your favourite food)Once again, an anchor is any representation in the human nervoussystem that triggers any other representation. It is conceptuallysimilar to Pavlovian conditioning (ie. bells and salivating dogs), withthe exception that it is often possible to set an anchor with a singletrial.

Setting anchors

Anchoring is particularly useful for helping people to recreate certainstates. In order to get a strong anchor for the state, it is

important to

a) ensure that you have a powerful example of the state to workwith

b)anchor in as many rep systems as possiblec) set the anchor just before the state peaksd) fire the anchor accurately. Precision counts!

Tip: When you (or someone you are with) are experiencing

something you want to have more of, anchor it.

Challenge: Practice setting and firing anchors with the peopleyou meet from day to day. Choose a different rep systemeach day and notice how many naturally occurring anchorsyou can find.


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Bibliography

Neuro Hypnotic RepatterningTM

Manual, Richard Bandler and John LaValle, Society of NLP, 2001

Whispering In The Wind, John Grinder & Carmen Bostic St. Clair, J &C Enterprises, 2001

Society of NLP Trainer Training Manual, Richard Bandler, McKennaBreen, 1999


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Recommended Reading

Introductory

Frogs Into Princes, Bandler & Grinder, Real People Press, 1979The first popular NLP book, this is a transcript of a number ofseminars given by Bandler and Grinder, and really captures theirattitude and gives a very solid look at many of NLPs keyelements.

NLP: The New Technology of Achievement, NLP Comprehensive,Nicholas Brealey Publishing, 1994

A bumper crop of personal development NLP techniques andsome background about the field.

Unlimited Power, Anthony Robbins, Simon & Schuster, 1988A good overview of many of the areas and techniques of NLP, aswell as a lot of other good personal development material.


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Recommended Reading (continued)

Advanced

Magic in Action, Bandler, Meta Publications, 1992Annotated transcripts of Richard Bandler working therapeuticallywith clients. Amazing!

Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H Erickson MD Vol1, Bandler & Grinder, Meta Publications, 1975

The language model B&G created of Milton Ericksons approach

to indirect hypnotic communications.

Persuasion Engineering, Bandler & La Valle, Meta Publications,1996

NLP and sales from two masters in the field.

The Structure of Magic, Bandler & Grinder, Science andBehaviour Books, 1975

The book that started it all B&Gs first model of language andchange.

Trance-formations, Bandler & Grinder, Real People Press, 1981NLP & the structure of hypnosis excellent.

Using Your Brain for a Change, Bandler, Real People Press, 1985Richard Bandlers first exploration of submodalities indispensable.


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Exercises

Most of the following pages are handouts on outIntroductory trainings, Some of them however are exclusive

to this online manual.


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Outcome / Direction Exercise

Done in pairs, A & B

B asks A to think of an outcome SHe wants (eg. a material object, askill, a behaviour, a way of being, a situation.) When A has made achoice, B helps A to make the outcome well-formed using thefollowing questions (B, pay close attention to the words A uses andtheir body language as they say them):

1.What do you want? The outcome should be stated in thepositive (Eg. I want to be slim & healthy not I want to loseweight)

2.How will you know when youve got it? What is the sensoryevidence ie. what will A see, feel, hear (smell & taste optional)when they are getting their outcome.

3.Is the outcome initiated & maintained by you? The well-formed outcome is not dependent on the behaviours &emotions of others.

4.Does it keep the good things about the current situation?Well-formed outcomes preserve the positive by-products of

the current situation. You can also ask the following: Isthere anything you might lose as a result of getting this? andAre there any good reasons notto change?

5.How will this affect the wider system you are in? Yourfamily? Your friends? Your job? Gives context; an ecologycheck.

6.Where and when do you want this? Further ecology check.7.What resources will you need?8.Why do you want this outcome? What will it get you? What

will it do for you? This question explores their motivation forwanting the outcome (not part of the well-formed conditions,but useful.)


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Meta Mirror Exercise

Choose an A and a B. B will guide A through the exercise. Place twochairs facing each other, A sits in one of them, facing the emptychair. The chairs will be (position 1) & (2), and an area off to the

side will be (meta - position 3). B will guide A through each of thepositions in turn.

1. A identifies a situation where they have a challenge relating toan individual, and chooses a name for them. It could be theirreal name or a pseudonym (person X etc). A then sits inposition 1.

a. B invites A to imagine in full detail that person sitting inthe chair in front of them (in position 2). B help A to geta vivid representation by saying things like see how

they are sitting & breathing, how they are looking atyou etc.

b. B invites A to describe their kinaesthetic reaction to thatperson. i.e. How do you feel when you see this personnow. Where do you feel that etc.

c. When B has collected enough information (a fewseconds for some people, a couple of minutes forothers, no more though.) Invite A to stand up and leaveall that stuff in the chair. Literally say, As you stand up

now, leave all those feelings with a representation ofyourself in that chair and invite A to shake themselves(this physically alters As state, making it easier forthem to leave that stuff in the chair.

2. B invite A to sit in the chair where they visualised person X(into position 2) and literally become them for a fewmoments, As you do so say, As you sit in that chair, I wantyou to become (person X) only for the purposes of thisexercise, and only as much as its safe for you to do this

a. B help A into the role of person X, say see what yousee, hear what you hear, and feel what you feel as youare (person X) Notice their posture, breathing etc. ifthe posture and breathing have changed significantlyfrom what you observed when they were in position 1,then continue. If they look the same, get them to standup, shake it off, and repeat step 2 & 2a.

b. B ask A (pretending to be Person X) to see person Asitting in the chair in front of them & describe how they

feel about A. When you do this, refer to them as


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(person X). eg. So (person X) as you sit here, you cansee (person A) sitting there, how do you (person X) feelabout them

c. B, once you have enough information (usually a fewseconds is enough, no more than a minute) Invite A tostand up and leave all that stuff in the chair. Literallysay, As you stand up now, leave all those feelings witha representation of (person X) in that chair and invite Ato shake themselves.

3. B invite A to step into meta-position 3. This is a positionoutside the interaction of A and Person X. Say. As you standhere, looking at these two people sitting there, (includenames if you wish) I want you to put a headline on therelationship between these two people. B, you want a one ortwo word answer from A to this.

a. If A mentions themselves in the first person. i.e. I thinkthat Person X needs to grow up etc this is an indicatorthat A isnt disassociated enough. Move them to meta -position 4 (another point in the room where they cansee the two chairs) to get even more disassociation.Repeat as necessary.

4. Now B, move A back into position 1 (repeat step 1), bringingall that information with them, say as you sit back down,allow all that weve done to integrate fully. Wait until A looksready to continue, then ask A if they feel better about PersonX. If yes, then youre done. If No, then repeat to steps 1-4.


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Circle of Excellence

Done in pairs, A & B

B asks A to think of a situation in the future which appears

challenging. When A has made their choice, B helps A identifyresources that will be beneficial in that situation. A then anchorsthose resources and future paces to test how much the addedresources helped.

1. B asks A to identify a future "challenge" situation2. A identifies resources that would be beneficial in that

situation (i.e. confidence, calmness, excitement)

3. B asks A to imagine circle on the floor and vividly imaginethemselves in a past situation where SHe had those resources(to make the anchor even more powerful ask A to paint thecircle their favourite colour)

4. A steps into the resourceful state inside the circle. B usestheir tonality, gesture, energy level congruently to help Aaccess the state, saying See what you saw Hear what you heard Feel what you feltB, remember to watch for posture/breathing changes thatindicate A has fully entered the state.

5. B can either anchor the state in some appropriate way (Eg.with a touch) or ask A to anchor the state themselves.

6. B asks A to vividly imagine the 'challenging' futureexperience, step into the experience & fire the anchor(remember precision is important when firing anchors)

7. Future pace: Get A to repeat step 6 with at least threesituations in which it would be helpful to have those particularresources


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Peripheral Vision expansion exercise

Done in groups of 3. Choose an A, B and C.

1. A and B stand shoulder to shoulder facing C and about 1meteraway from C.

2. C look at a point in between A & Bs shoulders.

3. A & B begin to move your outside arms in slow smoothmovements. Stay in one plane, no forward or backwardmovement. And vary the pattern so that C cannot learn it.

4. C keeps looking at the point in between A & Bs shoulder. As Cdoes so S/he moves their arms in time with A & Bs.

5. A & B, the object of the exercise for you is to train C to beable to do this really well. So if you see that C is not followingyour movements accurately, slow down your movements untilC can keep up. Always keep C at the edge of their comfortzone.

6. C will not be able to keep both arms in time if S/he looksdirectly at one arm or the other. It is only possible to do thisexercise in Peripheral vision.

7. Rotate so that everyone gets a go at being A, B & C.


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VAK Card Exercise

In groups of four - six: A, B, C, D, (E), (F).

Part 1

For this youll need to put two chairs facing each other.1. A & B are going to sit facing each other having a conversation

about something that excites them.2. C stand behind As chair with a deck of VAKOG cards. D stand

behind Bs chair with another deck of VAKOG cards3. A & B simply start having a 2 way conversation.4. When C hears A use a sensory word (see below) S/he flashes

up the appropriate Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic, Olfactory orGustatory card next to As head, so that B can see it.

5. D do the same for BIf you have a person E/F its their job to stand at theside and watch and listen to the conversationbetween A & B and provide assistance to C & Dwhen necessary.

6. Rotate so that everyone in the group has achance in each position.

Part 2

Repeat part one. A & B notice which cards are beingshown to you more and attempt to guide theconversation to use even more sensory words.

The table below shows some example words from each rep system.

Visual Auditory Kinaesthetic Olfactory Gustatory

Look, see

Imagine

Visualise

Focus

Brilliant

Bright

Hear

Sound

Listen

Ring

Buzz

Recall

Feel

Grasp

Hold

Push

Drive

Tough

Smell

Sweet

Rotten

Fishy

Fragrance

Funky

Taste

Bitter

Sweet

Sharp

Salty

Bland


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Eye Accessing Cue Question /Requests Exercises

Done in pairs. Choose an A & B.1. Before you begin.

a. Print out the table on the next page, A & B are to haveone each.

b. In the column marked Rep Systems, write one of therep systems from page 11 (Visual Remembered,Auditory constructed etc)

c. Under the Question/Request column write a questionor request that will make a person access the repsystem that you wrote in the rep systems column.

d. Do this for all of the rep systems, there are enoughrows to ask two questions/statements for each repsystem.

e. Examples of rep system questions:i. When was the last time you saw yourself in the

mirror? (VR).ii. Hear the sound of a dog barking the national

anthem (AC).iii. See your best friend with polka-dot hair (VC).iv. Tell yourself something nice about yourself (Id).v. Hear the theme tune to one of your favourite TV

shows (AR).vi. Feel the sensations in your right big toe (K)

2. B sit facing A, so that you can see their eyes.3. Ask them one of your questions and watch what happens.a. Tip: Read the question to yourself, then look at A and

ask the question. Eye accessing is usually very fast, ifyou read from the sheet when you ask the questionsyoull miss the accessing.

4. Mark down on the smiley face what As eyes did.5. Repeat 3 & 4 until youve done all your questions.6. Swap round.


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RepSystem

Question / Request a. b. c. d.


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NLP for Business & Personal Success Online Manual