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Copyright © 2003 by Calvin Miller. All rights reserved.

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CONTENTS

Preface vii

Profile: Elizabeth 1Introduction 7

Chapter One 25

Holy Involvement:The Art of Seeing inside the Needy

Chapter Two 43

Diagnosis:What Does This Person Need Me to

Say Right Now to Heal or Give Hope?

Chapter Three 63

Playing the Role of Christ:The Giving of the Bold Blessing

Conclusion 81

Praise: The Affirmation That CelebratesOur Spiritual Health

PREFACE

I I I I

Life is hard. Faces are hard. We get out of bed

and hustle off to work for the day wondering

who might assail us or what circumstances

will befall us. Terrorism looms menacingly

over the predictable world we once knew.

Many of us feel powerless in our jobs—and,

even worse, we feel unappreciated. We seem

shackled to feelings of weakness and insignifi-

cance. We sometimes feel that we are allowed

to make no significant decisions. And since

our decision making is so often what authenti-

cates us, we are forced to live with a self-image

that is limited at best.

We are electron-isolated Internet inmates,

channel-surfing lounge lizards, the point-and-

click hermits of a day that doesn’t care. We are

social creatures shut into solitary confinement

by television tubes. Eyes eager to meet other

eyes spend the hours instead gazing into the

blue glare of computer screens or staring

down at the tiny displays of e-books.

But here and there, we run into those who

viii

The Power of Encouragement

actually see us. They smile at us. They greet

us. They compliment us. In those moments

we catch our breath. The world stops. We

emerge from deadness to life. We are real

persons—with real nervous systems, real feel-

ings, and real hearts.

Then comes the ultimate gift that ends our

mediocrity. Someone speaks to us, perhaps

relating some affirming comment as simple as,

“Hey, I like your cap, man!” The cap! I’d forgot-

ten I was wearing one. But it wasn’t my cap you

really liked, was it? My desperate ears might as

well have heard, “Hi there, you wonderful

homo sapien, you, I’m a homo sapien, too! Isn’t

it nice that we who live on the same level of

the food-chain have actually met?” Such

moments of random affirmation are made all

the more wonderful by their rarity.

I experienced one such moment of

encouragement one day in the most unlikely

of places—an airport security line. I travel a

lot, and I have learned not to expect any

ix

CALVIN MILLER

charm to issue from airport security people.

They do not often say anything warmly

human. If the beeper goes off as I pass

through the scanning arch, they brusquely ask

me to empty my pockets and walk through

again. If I continue beeping, they ask me to

step to one side while they pass a cattle prod

over my body in a matter-of-fact manner,

seeking to get whatever they suspect me of

carrying to beep. My self-esteem plunges.

I want a cordial security officer to smile at me.

But their cattle prod is as warm and cuddly as

they get. Alas, it seems they are convinced that

I must be a terrorist. So I have developed an

advanced case of scan-o-phobia. I freeze up as

I approach security lines. Beeper-tense,

I dream of passing through beep-free.

I had been on the road all week, and I was

weak. I approached the security checkpoint

with the usual apprehension. But on this occa-

sion a sweet southern belle at the X-ray machine

said, “May Ah see your boardin’ pass, honey?”

x

The Power of Encouragement

I looked around. There was no one in line

behind me. She was talking to me! She

seemed buoyant and warm, overcome with

emotion. I was dumbfounded. Had she been

addled by the X-ray?

Dutifully, I handed her my ticket.

“Thank you, sugah,” she said. I liked this

lady! She handed my boarding pass back to

me and said, “There you go, dahlin’!”

Whoa! Box me up and put me in the

window of the shop! And glory upon glory!

When I walked through the X-ray arch,

I didn’t beep. “You’re mighty clean, sugah,”

she said as she handed me my briefcase. “You

have a real nice flight, honey!”

“I don’t wanna go!” I wanted to say. “I’ve

felt more like a person at your X-ray machine

than I have on any other flight I’ve ever taken.

I’m not leaving till you finish building me up!”

Of course I did ultimately fly on, but that

woman gave me a gift I have never forgotten

in the thousand X-ray lines at security check-

xi

CALVIN MILLER

points I’ve been in since. She blessed me as a

fellow member of the planet. She was a

sympathetic earthling who was open to seeing

others as fellow passengers on the way

through life’s journey.

I don’t know who told that woman that

we are all life’s pilgrims, but I know she

believed it. She had blessed me with the rare

gift of affirmation.

Some years ago Ken Blanchard wrote a

book called the One-Minute Manager, in which

he said that affirmation was the soul of leader-

ship. The key to great interpersonal relation-

ships, he said, was to catch somebody doing

something right and praise them on the spot.

The book remains a best-seller.

I speak all over the United States in

churches of all sizes. The message from the

pulpit is always friendly. But after church it

seems there is an appalling lack of Christian

affirmation among the members of the congre-

gation. An older couple recently met me at the

xii

The Power of Encouragement

Elizabeth

THE MINISTRY OF

“BLESSED ART THOU”

1

I I I I

Mary of Nazareth conceived Christ when she

was overshadowed by the Holy Spirit. She had

a hard time making her

fiancé believe her story.

We can only imagine that

she found it even harder

to convince the Naza-

renes. Why? Virginal

conceptions are very

difficult to explain,

whether to geneticists or

the busybodies in one’s

hometown. Mary was almost certainly the

object of scorn among her peers. It was likely

for this reason that she decided to visit a good

friend.

Mary left Nazareth to visit her older rela-

tive, Elizabeth. No doubt she left home under

a blitz of gossip. In all likelihood her heart

was breaking. She had given herself willingly

to be the handmaiden of the Lord, and as a

reward for her obedience she found herself

2

The Power of Encouragement

WE ARE CALLED

TO PARTICIPATE

IN THE MINISTRY

OF ELIZABETH—

THE MINISTRY

OF “BLESSED ART

THOU.”

the center of ridicule and contempt. God had

required much. I imagine Mary had cried

until she felt her broken soul could stand no

more, until she was teetering at the very edge

of sanity.

Meanwhile Elizabeth had become preg-

nant in spite of being an old woman. There

was no open village condemnation of her situ-

ation. But there must have been smirks from

her friends and perhaps the assumption that

her postmenopausal baby would likely be

either deformed or mentally deficient. We

know that Elizabeth went into seclusion after

learning that she was pregnant. Is it possible

she shut herself up because she was living

with a constant sense of rejection and hurt?

Then, at last, these two women meet.

Hurt flies at hurt.

Love grasps at love.

They embrace wildly.

“Ave, Maria.”

“Ave, Elizabeth.”

3

CALVIN MILLER

And as soon as Elizabeth hears Mary’s

greeting, her own baby leaps with gladness in

her womb.

Joy collides with joy as their words affirm

each other.

“Do you hurt, my dear sister? Hurt no

more, you wonderful, special vessel of God.

Blessed art thou!”

These three words penetrate Mary’s

injured soul, and her pain is healed.

Does she return the compliment? No!

Does Elizabeth try to wrench a good word

from Mary? No! Mary does not praise her

praiser. She praises God.

Mary sings!

What a song! Throughout the ages Mary’s

expression of joy and thankfulness has been

known as the Magnificat.

Oh, how I praise the Lord.

How I rejoice in God my Savior!

For he took notice of his lowly servant girl

4

The Power of Encouragement

Introduction

7

I I I I

I I I I

We bring before you, O Lord, the troubles and

perils of people and nations, the sighing of

prisoners and captives, the sorrows of the

bereaved, the necessities of strangers, the

helplessness of the weak, the despondency of the

weary, the failing powers of the aged.

O Lord, draw near to each; for the sake

of Jesus Christ our Lord.

—ANSELM1

I I I I

Coloring a Drab World

One Christmas I gave my grandson a new

coloring book and box of Crayolas. He excit-

edly ripped open the box and began to color.

He dumped them out all at once and colored

furiously. He didn’t waste time picking out

colors. He could see what we dull adults had

missed: the uncolored pages had far too much

white space. They needed to be colored, and

all at once! Different colors, all kinds of

colors—no crayon could be slighted. No page

need wait long. The waxy hues flowed all over

his small, white coloring-book world. Very

quickly he ran out of pages.

“Grandpa,” he said, “I would like to draw

a fish. Do you have some plain paper?”

I grabbed some paper out of the computer

box and handed the pages to him. He colored

the boring white away. Fishes swam in indigo

and magenta. Brown barracudas and purple

piranhas. Squid, shad, sturgeon. Tentacled

things. Green octopuses. Big fish, little fish.

9

CALVIN MILLER

Red fish, blue fish. When he had finished,

reams of paper blanketed the floor with

hurried but serious art. At least one fish on

every page.

All this happened because he had made

a very simple decision: There are not enough

Crayola fish in the world. I can do something

about my drab and fishless planet. I have one

talent. I can color, and I will.

I applauded his decision.

When I was a young man, God convinced

me that the world was too drab and I could do

something about it. I could take the drab self-

image that stifles so many beautiful people and

add color to it. Not only could I do it, but I

would do it, and indeed I was called to do it.

Our Encouragement Commission

There are many scriptural injunctions that

teach us we must cause our dour world to

celebrate itself.

Paul once preached at Ephesus, “Now

10

The Power of Encouragement

I entrust you to God and the word of his

grace—his message that is able to build you

up and give you an inheritance with all those

he has set apart for himself” (Acts 20:32). Paul

also said that the authority God gave him “is

to build you up, not to tear you down”

(2 Corinthians 10:8). He taught, “While

knowledge may make us feel important, it is

love that really builds up the church”

(1 Corinthians 8:1).

The last official act of Jesus’ earthly

sojourn was to take his followers to a hilltop

and bless them (Luke 24:50). Jesus’ affirma-

tion of his followers transformed them from

common men of limited success to fearless

preachers and bold martyrs. His blessing—his

encouragement—changed them from weak-

lings to triumphant soldiers!

We are accountable for all our words.

Jesus said that on the great Day of Judgment,

all people will have to give account for every

idle word they have spoken (Matthew 12:36).

11

CALVIN MILLER

We can use our words to cut or affirm. When

we use words to encourage, our words are

treasures eternal. But when we use words to

cut someone else down, those words are

stored up against our

future. Jesus said, “The

time is coming when

everything will be

revealed; all that is secret

will be made public.

Whatever you have said in

the dark will be heard in

the light, and what you have whispered

behind closed doors will be shouted from the

housetops for all to hear!” (Luke 12:2-3). A

compliment is a great act of stewardship.

One of the most wonderful acts of encour-

agement ever done for Jesus was when a

woman lavished on him an alabaster box of

spikenard, an expensive perfume worth

roughly the equivalent of a year’s wages. Some

of Jesus’ disciples were incensed with her

12

The Power of Encouragement

WE MUST CAUSE

OUR DOUR

WORLD TO

CELEBRATE

ITSELF.

extravagance. “What a waste of money,” they

said. “She could have sold it for a fortune and

given the money to the poor” (Matthew 26:8).

But Jesus said that every act of encouragement

becomes a part of the treasury of the ages.

“Why berate her for doing such a good thing

to me? . . . I assure you, wherever the Good

News is preached throughout the world, this

woman’s deed will be talked about in her

memory” (Matthew 26:10, 13).

We have a commission from our Lord:

Use your life to build others up! Each affirm-

ing act or word must issue from our need to

be like Jesus. Each time we bless a hurting

soul, we act as good stewards of Christ’s love,

so freely given to us. Our encouraging words

are kudos from our King. They are a serum of

grace for the plague of self-loathing. We can

and should do something to help color our

drab world with beauty and truth. We are sent

to demonstrate to our isolated world that God

has not left it friendless.

13

CALVIN MILLER

The Importance of Self-Worth

I believe encouragement and love have to

grow out of a strong basis of self-acceptance.

People who give a lot of love usually require

a good supply of it. People who are generous

with affirmation usually

have to receive a lot of it.

People with the weak-

est self-image are the least

able to become ministers

of grace. Remember the

security lady at the X-ray

machine? What was her

life really like? My suspi-

cion is that someone living near her gave her

compliments regularly. Perhaps she was raised

in a home where kindness was lavished on

her. In the process of receiving much encour-

agement, her self-image developed to a strong

enough point that she could become a compli-

ment spinner at an airport scanner.

Hildegard of Bingen knew that we cannot

14

The Power of Encouragement

WE HAVE A

COMMISSION

FROM OUR LORD:

USE YOUR LIFE

TO BUILD

OTHERS UP!

give grace from the center of a scalded being.

We must feel good about who we are, or we

cannot minister a positive word in a negative

world. She wrote, “Remember that you were

made in the image of God. So you should love

yourself, recognizing your own beauty as a

mirror of God’s beauty. And you should want

to use your abilities in the service of others,

recognizing these abilities as gifts from God.

Do not be afraid of pain and suffering. Just as

gold is made pure by fire or precious jewels

are made to shine by grinding wheels, so our

lives must know the flame of God’s purifica-

tion and the emery of his polishing. Just as

refined gold and polished jewels perfectly

reflect the sun’s rays, so you will perfectly

reflect the love of God.”2

Three Steps to a Ministry

of Encouragement

Learning the ministry of Elizabeth is not hard.

The affirming life always operates in a very

15

CALVIN MILLER

simple way. Here are the three steps we can

take to begin living the affirming life.

First, we must learn the art of seeing

inside the needy without violating their

sacred inwardness.

This is the blessed work of holy involvement.

We must be willing to stand with people

under the crushing burden of the hurt they

carry. We must be able to peer into another

person’s world deeply enough to identify pain

but unobtrusively enough not to violate the

sacred inwardness of the one we are trying

to help.

We need to become skilled at seeing inner

brokenness. It will not be easy. Hurt hides.

Most of those who know pain never reveal

their suffering. But it lodges in their souls,

killing, strangling, suffocating. Such wounds

kill from the inside out. Only when we train

ourselves to see with the eyes of Christ will we

be able to penetrate people’s affable armor and

16

The Power of Encouragement

Chapter One

HOLY INVOLVEMENT:

THE ART OF SEEING

INSIDE THE NEEDY

25

I I I I

I I I I

Help me to realize that no matter how violent

their opposition, people are not the enemy. They

are prisoners of the enemy. Help me to realize

that you died to free those prisoners. And in that

knowledge give me the courage, I pray, to

penetrate their shores so they might be brought

out of their tombs, delivered of their demons,

dressed in their right mind, and given the

privilege to sit at your feet.

—KEN GIRE3

I I I I

Removing Masks

God has committed to us the ministry of

rebuilding destroyed people. We cannot do

this unless we are sensitive enough to care

about what’s going on inside them. Why aren’t

we better at this? Because we don’t want to get

involved. Because most people are so bent on

appearing self-sufficient they all but make it

impossible for us to see their hurt. To use the

power of affirmation, we must get involved.

We must learn the art of seeing hidden

brokenness.

The Greek word hupocrites refers to an

actor who performs behind a mask. This prac-

tice of putting on masks was common in

ancient Greek drama. Greek actors didn’t rely

on the naked face to change moods. When an

actor wanted his character to appear mean and

selfish, he put on a mask to denote the inten-

tion. The character who wanted to connote

grace or sweetness of personality donned a

very different mask. Masks always hid the

27

CALVIN MILLER

person behind them. No wonder Jesus

referred to Pharisees as “hypocrites”; it was as

if he were accusing them of wearing masks.

These professional religionists hid behind

disguises of forced piety,

never letting anyone see

the real person behind the

legalistic facade.

Not everyone we meet

is a hypocrite in this sense

of the word, but nearly

everyone is wearing some

kind of mask. Healing only

begins when we can

convince people to remove

the masks hiding their hurt. But mask removal

is hard work. Most of us are reluctant to

expose our naked faces and brave the world’s

censure. Behind such iron facades hide

fragile egos.

One of the most important aspects of the

Christian life—both in becoming a Christian

28

The Power of Encouragement

HEALING ONLY

BEGINS WHEN

WE CAN

CONVINCE

PEOPLE TO

REMOVE THE

MASKS HIDING

THEIR HURT.

and in our continuing relationship with

Christ—is confession. Our first confession

redeems; our later confessions attune us daily

to the integrity of God. Confession shows our

willingness to take off our masks and to

appear naked-faced in the presence of God.

Not that God is confused about who we are.

He certainly is not. We don’t clue God in by

uncovering our true egos, but once we agree

to naked-faced status, we can live in his pres-

ence without pretense.

Why do so many Christians take off their

masks when they come to know Jesus, only to

put them back on as soon as the initial excite-

ment of conversion has faded? Because while

they are willing to show God who they are,

they are reluctant to let their brothers and

sisters in the church see them as God does.

We use masks to cover fears, sadness, family

secrets, adulteries of the flesh, fornications of

the spirit. Removing our masks would expose

all those hidden things to the bright light of

29

CALVIN MILLER

Notes

1. Timothy Jones, The Art of Prayer (New York:Ballantine Books, 1997), 117.

2. Robert Van de Weyer, ed., Hildegard in a Nutshell(London: Hodder & Stoughton, 1997), 43.

3. Ken Gire, Intimate Moments with the Savior (GrandRapids, MI: Daybreak Books, 1989), 43.

4. David Swartz, Embracing God (Eugene, OR: HarvestHouse Publishers, 1994), 77.

5. Calvin Miller, “Humming,” in Apples, Snakes, andBellyaches (Wheaton, IL: Harold Shaw Publishers,1996), 102.

6. Mary Tileston, ed., Daily Strength for Daily Needs(Springdale, PA: Whitaker House, 1997), 21.

7. Louis Evely, That Man Is You, trans. Edmond Bonin(New York: Paulist Press, 1964), 20.

8. James Stevens, “The Snare,” in The Book of a Thou-sand Poems, ed. J. Murray MacBain (New York:Peter Bedrick Books, 1986).

9. Richard Foster, Devotional Classics (San Francisco:HarperSanFrancisco, 1990), 259.