My Foot is Too Big for the Glass Slipper: A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life by Gabrielle Reece

7/29/2019 My Foot is Too Big for the Glass Slipper: A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life by Gabrielle Reece

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COnTEnTS

1. So Youv Got th Guy o th Bg Wht Ho 1

2. Et Lttl Mmad 13

3. Th Ca ad Fdg o M. Chamg 31

4. Th St to Evythg 595. Th Ky to L th Kgdom o Food 79

6. Lo th Pa 99

7. Bauty ad Ou I Bat 121

8. It Aout Tm 135

9. Kpg th Happly th Ev At 151

10. Dot Gt Impald o th Wht Pkt F 16911. B th Qu 187

Akowldgmt 203


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1

SO YOU VE GOT THE GUY

On THE B IG WHITE HORSE

My happly v at ga o Novm 30, 1997. O that

day I mad my p th mddl o th gtly wdg

Hanalei River, on the north shore o the garden island o

Kaua. Ev ouul, my p lahd togth a pa oao ad axd a platom o top o thm, th doatd

t wth pupl ohd, tuo, ad pluma. Dug th

oly u ak o th day, w xhagd vow.

My prince was bare-chested and wore a pareo, a wrap-

around skirt traditional or men o the Pacifc Islands. He

lookd v mo tudly tha uual. I wo a wht CalvKlein bikini beneath a sheer white Donna Karan dress. I might

as well just confrm what youre already thinking: I looked


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GABRIELLE REECE

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ompltly aulou. (What you dot kow, o ou, that

I wa a hot m oly a hou o, madly dog laudy

ad ug th athoom o ou out-o-tow vto.)

At th moy, w pad wth ou doz gut,

lo d all, to Haal Bay, wh w had a hampag

picnic. It was the perect ending to the airy-tale courtship

that had gu two ya ago that vy day.

Natually, ou ya lat I ld o dvo.

My hldhood wa ough ough to kok th l hap-

ply v at la out o my hat. My pat plt wh I

wa too youg to mm; th, wh I wa v, my dad

died in a plane crash. Ive always been one o those hard-

hadd hk who lv that w all pol o ou

ow happ. Stll, wh I mad Lad I wa odt

Id oud my oul mat. Who ould mo pt o m

tha a guy who wa my hghtx t thad wa v

mo t ad oud tha I wa?

Lad ad I mt 1995 whl I wa hootg a TV howalld The Extremists. Lk ptty muh vythg l th

day, you a d t ol. I wa twty-v ad wo a

ovzd wht T-ht. My haa tho bangs? whp-

pg aoud th wd. Th ky hd m agy wth

u-olod loud.

Today Im hag wth a xtmt who ath omserious waves, I say. His name is Laird Hamilton and he

lv o th g wll.


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MY FOOT IS TOO BIG FOR THE GLASS SL IPPER

3

I ak hm whth h od th to a g wll day,

ad v though t look a a hua aout to oll

at ay od, h ay o. Lad lookd xatly th am way

h look ght th mut: ta ad oud. You a u

alling in love right there on camera. Ten days later we moved

togth.

W ddt v mak t to ou th avay o ou

xy ay tal tud to o o tho uwathal Swdh

domestic dramas that makes the audience want to throw

thmlv o th at dg. W w o mpato o

may way, ut tupdly wd outd o th at to ma

immutable and provide an unshakable oundation or our

latohp. Ou lov wa ad omplx. W w lov,

d, ad pat. W wt mply hot o ah oth,

o ompaoal good d, o a oupl who had

togth o log maag wa th ovou xt tp. W had

t all ovd; th, wthout kowg how t happd, wd

become two really tall near-strangers stomping around the

house, uming, slamming doors, and glaring at each other

ov ou g mooth.How clueless was I about marriage, about living under the

same roo with another human being withsurprise!his

ow poalty ad h ow l? Tho who kow my hu-

ad all hm th Wathma. I dot put a lot o tok

atology, ut h o o th wold pmo watm ad a

Piscesknown or their deep sensitivity and mutable moods.It took g mad to hm to la that h wa mo mo-

tional than Id ever imagined, and moody. Lie with Laird: its


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windy, no wait, its raining, wait, wait, now its sunny. It hardly

mattd what put hm a mood ( you gud t uually

had to do wth th g o ual wav that day, youd

ght), au lk th tmpamtal wath Kaua

wh h gw up, t would all low ov a w hou.

Th polm wa ot th moodthat who th guy

but me. I took every slammed cupboard door personally. I

thought, h lovd m, hd happy mot o th tm. Im

ot th Wathma, t v wdy/ay/uy wth m.

Its San Diego with me, 75 degrees all year long. Im constant

ad tu, ut I hag o to ht. H mood, th o that would

mak m l ulovd, would log go, ut Id tll

lg th tg o t, th jut. Id tll xpg

h mood, log at h wa out o t.

But I would v say aythg, whh am th po-

lm that ompoudd th polm, a lay ak o my.

It v o thg that tak th oomy o u a ma-

riage. I didnt communicate, didnt tell him when he was

g a jaka, ddt tll hm how hut my lg w. I

thought that wh you lov omody you dot mak a u.As a proessional athlete, one o the frst things Id learned was

to suck it up, and thats what I thought you did when the

po wth whom you w a latohp wa a a. You

ukd t up.

My d would om ov, ad Lad wa a mood,

I would wa thm to tad lghtly. I would t wh th upot wa ad. My mata wa dot ok th oat. But at

three years o tiptoeing around the Weatherman and his mer-


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ual mood, I thought: peace out, I cant do this anymore. I

was curbing my personality or his sake. I was becoming bitter

and resentul. And i theres one thing that trashes a love story,

t tmt.

To mak matt mo hallgg tll, wh Lad ad

I got togth, my a wa, wll, gg, gad, whatv

you wat to all t, tha h. I wa aptag a tam o th

proessional beach volleyball circuit, scoring glossy magazine

ov wth th mathg g atu to, hotg The Ex-

tremists. Id jut gd a otat to wt a ook, ad I wa

t to mak my lm dut. I had a poohp wth Nk,

ad I wa th t mal athlt to hav h ow ho. By all

the markers by which people measure quote unquote success,

I had thm ad Lad ddt.

Th mad m dulouly uomotal. I th o

person on earth who truly does not give a shit about ame and

woldly u, t my huad. Dot gt m wog. Th

dud utg wth amto, ut t th amto to hav

th mot u ug th ggt, t wav o a log a h

possibly can, the ambition to keep the sport o surfng excitingad lvat to th utu. Ev to th day, wll wath-

ing some news show and Ill say check out this guy, hes Prince

Fabulous, hes got this, that, and the other: a great gig, an

innovative idea, money or nothing, and chicks or ree. Laird

umovd. H got a laty aout what mpotat, alway

has. Hes only interested in how people are in the world, whatthy do, how thy at. H v wpt up th hoopla.

Still, during the ew frst years we were together, Neptune,


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GABRIELLE REECE

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Kg o th Sa, pt may day ad wk tavlg wth

m o th ah vollyall ut. Chago, St. Lou, D-

troit, New York. Youd be amazed where you can build a

beach. He did it because he loved me, and because with Laird

there is no halway. He was in, even when it meant being

alld M. R.

The whole scene was awkward. Even though I was a bigger

dal ltyw, ad v though my u domatd

th latohp, h poalty domatd m. Th may

om a a up to tho popl who may all that I hld

th WBVL od o mot kll ou ya ug, o that

I was named the Oensive Player o the Year the summer

o that atul day o th oth ho o Mau wh I

met and ell or Laird. Weve never been one o those modern,hp oupl wh t la om th t k that hll

hagg at hom uppotg h a y dog th

laundry and planning the meals and shell be out in the world

hammg t dow ad uppotg th amly.

By Chtma o 2000 I wa do. Th maag had o-

k dow, ad I ddt l lk xg t. Pat o m had wth-daw. I thought: Who needs this shit?Wh I wa youg my

motto wa othg ad o o aov my ow uvval,

ad at ou ya my maag to Lad wa thatg my

sense o mysel. I was downplaying my independence, my

sense o humor, my competence, my celebrity (such as it was)

od to wth hm. Evy day I wa oouly tyg tomak vythg aout m mall to mmz th to

ou latohp.


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7

So I ld o dvo.

Fo a whl, Lad td to talk m out o t, ut th h

lt m go.

Then as now, we spent hal the year in Caliornia, and hal

th ya Hawa. Wh I alld t qut Lad wa Kaua

ad I wa Malu. H pakd up vy lat thg o m

th Hawa hou ad tuk t toag. You a mag

what a good tm th wa o hmh who plug to o

o his moods i he cant get out o the house and into the

ocean by 7:30 a.m.spending days shoving the T-shirts, pant-

ies, and notebooks o the chick he still wanted into cardboard

ato, tapg thm hut, luggg thm out to th a.

I attmptd to mov oo o tho pha that w

all u wthout g a hudd pt u what t ma

o how you do tad thw myl to my wok, a tm-

honored coping mechanism. The days were all right, but

every morning I awoke with an ache in my gut. It elt as i one

o tho awhd o that dog lov to hw wa ttg

my tomah.

Th, th pg, Lad pad though Caloa, adarrived at the house in Malibu to pick up his snowboard. One

o th paadoxal thg aout Lad that v though h

a gat-lookg guy, h ot a ft (atually, may h ot a

ft au h is good-lookg; h dot d to do ay-

thing to gain attention once hes entered the room).Hed

ompltly dgagd om m. H wa all u.I aw laly at that momt that hd alway a g-

ou, lovg pat, ad that h lov had a gt. Hd


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GABRIELLE REECE

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withdrawn it, and now I was just some chick who was holding

on to his snowboard. It was then, ater hed ully stepped away,

that I was able to look at him and see what I would be missing.

Fo th t tm I alzd that h wa a po wth whom

I had a good hot at happ.

There are thousands o people out there with ideas about how

to happy ad happly mad ad lv th dam ad ow

the happily ever ater (which you already know I have no

aptitude or, having messed up my marriage almost instantly).

A lot o thm a m wthout hld, o lo, o po-

pl who hav oth popl to do th tdou ht that dv

everyone who has to do itand who isnt a complete Zen

masterinsane. Does Eckhart Tolle go to Costco every week

o h amly to mak u thy hav plty o oz th-

y mx o th mooth ad Pat Booty o halthy

snacking? Does Deepak Chopra spend most o his waking

hours washing towels that his amily dropped on the bathroom

foo ad th tampld wth th muddy t? Gadh waout th tavg y hml, hagg th wold o th t-

t, ut lt ot ogt, M. Gadh wa at hom wth th

kd. What Im ayg that t ay to you t l wh

you dot lv th wold o Cla you plat, Stop wh-

ing and go to bed, Did you brush your teeth? Honey, have

you seen my clean shirt? Honey, whats or dinner? Honey,w havt had x a moth.

Im ot atg up o th guy. Thyv od a lot o


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wdom, adv, ola, ad pato to thouad, ot

mllo o popl. Thy a ot, howv, mad to a guy

who dot do mal.

I am.

Lad ad I got ak togth. Fo aoth ya o two, w

ld ah oth, uu. W w lk uvvo o om

atual dat, gatul to alv, ut dazd y th wk-

age. The oundation was cracked, the roo had leaks, the win-

dows were smashed out. Repairs always take longerand cost

motha you mght t mag.

Wh w mt, Lad wa alady ptd th wold

o ug. A tm wt o, h ta ga to th wold

at large. In 2004, he executive produced and starred in Riding

Giants, ad th a w ya lat h appad a g Am-

ican Express campaign. He got to show the world that he

wat jut om guy who wadd aoud wm tuk

ad fp-fop allg vyo Dud. (Whh h v do,

y th way.) Th ultual tamp o appoval hlpd to v

out our personal playing feld. I elt more comortable because

h wa o log mply M. R, talg aoud hdme, carrying my gym bag rom tournament to magazine shoot

ad hom aga. It wat a th woldly u mat a

lot to hm poally, ut t allowd u oth to l a w

were now on equal ooting, careerwise. A riend once

reminded me that small changes can result in making the big

ptu a whol lot tt, ad that what happd to u.As I write this, weve been married sixteen by-and-large

happy ya. I lty ya, th talat to aout


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GABRIELLE REECE

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mllo. It hat pt. Th dg to whh t

imperect would shock even those people who claim to thrive

on imperection. We had frst one kid, then another. In 2007,

we weathered another rough patch, and almost called it quits

again. Through it all, I reminded mysel o Anne Morrow

Ldgh wdom. At tm, Iv o th vg o tat-

toog t up o lg ad dow th oth. Itad, I jut om-

mttd t to mmoy:

When you love someone, you do not love them all the

time, in exactly the same way, rom moment to moment.

It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And

yet this is exactly what most o us demand. We have so

little aith in the ebb and fow o lie, o love, o relation-

ships. We leap at the fow o the tide and resist in terror

its ebb. We are araid it will never return. We insist on

permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only

continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in

fuidityin reedom, in the sense that the dancers are

free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in thesame pattern.

Partners in the same pattern. Thats a better thing to aspire

to tha happly v at. I all tho ay tal, ad alo

a lot o Hollywood mov you wd up Ntfxg, th toy

ends at the happily ever ater. Its pure bullshit. Nothingmak you upally mo happy tha th t fuh o

love, but in the ever ater its all about dealing with your lover,


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with understanding what makes him tick, surviving his crappy

moods, and working together, always, to preserve what youve

got ad utu a dp, mo pooud ad goudd lov

to th utu. Happly hmapply. I dot thk o.

From a dramatic perspective, this also means theres noth-

ing let to tell. The good part o the tale has already been told.

I w luky, w mad ty o xty ya. Do you wat

to g up o that? Hal a tuy o mo o o oft, o

dama, o tl, o oppotuty to gow ad hag?

You dot wat that, do you? Rath tha happly v at,

we should aspire to game onin part because thats the reality

ad pat au t muh mo ttg.

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My Foot is Too Big for the Glass Slipper: A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life by Gabrielle Reece