Monday - hmppsintranet.org.uk · Welcome back to Your Update – the magazine we are sending out every week while we are all stuck inside. This week will focus on the . theme of relationships

yourupdate

For men in prison / May 2020Issue 10

The Relationships issueWelcome back to Your Update – the magazine we are sending out every week while we are all stuck inside. This week will focus on the theme of relationships – we are looking at ways we can connect with others, learn new things and build our support network.

Each page will have activities for you to complete each day of the week to increase your strength, relationships, connections with others, communication skills and plans for the future. We hope this keeps you busy and gives you something positive to focus on.

Take care, HMPPS Psychology Services

The 7 day challengeExercises, activities and articles

MondayHow do we stay mentally and emotionally healthy during times of difficulties? It is easy to stay positive when life is going your way. It is harder to do when your life is disrupted. Everyone in the world needs routine to help them survive and when a routine is taken away, we all start to struggle.

At this time the whole planet had lost its routine and many people are trying to deal with what is a new normal. It is right now that you, me and everyone else needs to create a new routine.

The number one and best thing to put in a routine is exercise. Exercise is so important as it pumps blood around your body, sets off

endorphins and makes you feel good when you hit a goal.

There are many of you reading this now that have always maintained your physical fitness. You may do this because it gives you purpose and helps you through the day. Due to lockdown the gym is not a place that you can visit so it’s about adapting. Your cell is your new gym. You just have to be creative in your thinking.

Over the years I did lots of work outs in my cell, Burpees, Squat thrusts, sit ups, Dips (on pipes or chair) press ups (wide, close normal or the handstand Commando), Squats. I would use my bed, single or bunk to create exercises too. You can even fill a kettle and see how long you can hold it outstretched, the list goes on and on.

Physical wellbeing is a great way to develop mental wellbeing as the

Creating a healthy routine through exercise helps your mind and spirit, writes Gethin Jones

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endorphins link to happy thoughts and happy thoughts lead to happy emotions. Remember the first time you did that set of press ups or pushed that weight on the bar. You jump up with a ‘Yes’ I smashed it. You walk back to the wing with an extra spring in your step. You have an extra level of confidence.

Exercise builds resilience both mentally and physically. It helps you to see what you can achieve when the head says you can’t. If you have been to the gym before you get what is called muscle memory. This is because the body and mind remember and knows what needs to be done.

Mental resilience is the same, it is when the mind remembers a time when we struggled, and it also remembers how we succeeded. You then kick into this resilience and this is how you survive. It is now a great time to create a routine that will help you and those around you.

Why not set a daily challenge to your mates who you can speak to from the window? Let’s say between 10am and 4pm you need to do 500 press ups.

That works out about 84 an hour. If you did 20 every 20 minutes you would smash it. You can then set new challenges, change the exercise or increase the numbers.

Before you say 'I will - what if they cheat’, in truth they are cheating themselves not you. If you do it right you have helped yourself, emotionally, physically, mentally, and developed resilience and a knowledge that you can be honest to yourself and not cheat.

And that, my friend, is priceless.

My top tip today

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Let's get active

This week is all about relationships and how we can do things together, even though we’re staying apart. You might want to try this challenge with other men along the landing.

You could communicate through windows or by knocking on the wall, or do it with a cellmate if you share. See who can do it faster, do more reps or more sets. Or you could do one exercise

each. So you rest, while they do 20 jumping jacks. They let you know when they’re done, and you move on to plank jacks while they rest. Be creative!

Warm up, cool down and stretch before and after exercise. Try marching on the spot for one minute before and after you exercise and afterwards stretch each muscle you have felt burn. It pays off as you’ll feel better tomorrow!

dareb

ee.com


Tuesday

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Relationships

We are all different – that’s what makes us unique. It is the same in relationships. Not everyone thinks, feels or acts the same. We might choose to have friendships or intimate relationships with people who are similar to us, but they are not exactly the same. Today we will explore how we respond to others and how we can respond/interact with others in a way that helps us to think about them too.

What do you think you are like in your relationships? Rate yourself 1-10 by placing an X on the line.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10Open ClosedShy Out-goingActive Laid-backEasy-going StrictQuiet LoudSoft ToughAbout me About them

Arguments and disagreements happen in any relationship. Issues can be overcome through calm and effective communication, compassion, understanding and compromise. Sometimes repairing the relationship can seem impossible. Although ending a relationship can be difficult, staying in an unhealthy one can be harder. Sometimes it’s about weighing up the pros and cons, and deciding what you can take control of and do differently, but always with the knowledge that relationships are a two-way street.

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Follow these steps to try out calm and effective communication

1. Work out what is bothering you and how you can tell the person this. You don’t want to make out it is their fault – this will just get their back up!)

2. Tell them how you feel about this. They might not realise you don’t like it)

3. Say how things might be better. This involves you making some changes too – it is not just up to them.

4. Check that they are happy and how they feel. Am I OK and are you OK?

E.g.

1. ' I don’t feel listened to when I ring home'

2. 'When the TV is on in the background, I don’t feel we have a proper catch up'

3. 'Can we both turn the TV off in future so we can concentrate?'

4. 'Is that OK with you?'

Who do we have around us?

We can all feel lonely from time to time. This can be worse in lockdown, when we’re spending more time on our own with lots of time to think.

Try creating a relationships map to see who you have around you. It might help you reach out to new people for support, write a letter to someone you haven’t spoken to for a while or appreciate the people you do have contact with.

We’ve done an example at the bottom of the page to give you some ideas.

When you’re finished, ask yourself:• Is there anyone you want to speak to/write to? • Who could you have more contact with?• Who do you need to develop better links with?

Me

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WednesdayLockdown Drama Club

Hello again! Hoping you’re still holding up ok. We hope these tasks are providing a useful creative outlet and distraction. Try to take the pressure off them if that helps - just think, I’ll spend 15 minutes writing this morning. And then if you enjoy it you’ll spend another 30 the next. These times are wild, and using your imagination is often the best way to get through it.

Task 1 - ListsGive yourself two minutes for each of the next tasks. You must keep your pen moving, do not stop to think. If you run out of ideas, just repeat the last word you’ve said until a new word enters your mind. So if all you can think of is peanuts, keep writing peanuts until the

next word comes out of you.

1. Make a list of at least five things that would surprise you if you saw them on stage (e.g. very elderly people skiing; a baby wrestling a snake).

2. Come up with as many untrue things as possible about you -

they can be playful, stupid things, or you can make them up too. Whatever comes into your head (e.g. I have horns; I hate coffee; I didn’t see you there).

3. Make a list of machines to replace people in the future and what they will do (e.g. a robot that cleans your kitchen, robot prime

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minister, driverless taxis) Remember to keep your pen moving, repeat if necessary, just keep writing until your two minutes is up.

Re-read your above lists and circle anything that stands out/excite you/make you laugh. You don’t have to know why.

Next, choose 3 of the things you’ve circled and write them down.

Task 2 - follow on task Take your three things you just wrote down (e.g. very elderly people skiing, I have horns, a robot playing bingo).

Take the first character that jumps into your head, give that person a name (i.e. a builder from South London called Lee).

Now, write a scene in which Lee witnesses another character (i.e. Frankie) doing any of the above things you circled without being seen. Then have Lee make his presence known to Frankie. What happens?

For example: Lee witnesses Frankie giving a snake to a baby to wrestle.

1. Somewhere in the

scene, one of the other things on your list happens - how do they both react to this event? Are they surprised? Did they know it? Are they angry? Do they respond by force? With love?

2. If you need to, bring in more characters to engage with the two you have.

Have fun and take care. We can’t wait to hear what you come up with.

The Kestrel Team

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ThursdayPerhaps if I had known then what I know now!

Have there been times in your life when you have thought to yourself 'if I had known then what I know now I would have done things differently'?

The truth is, you might only ‘really’ get to know something after you have experienced it.

When you get caught up in behaving or reacting in ways that cause harm to you physically and/or emotionally, it can be helpful to look back and make sense of what happened. Understanding

a situation and what triggered your thoughts, emotions, and actions is called hindsight.

Hindsight can of course be a wonderful thing, but always comes after the event. That said, there is a lot you can learn from it.

If you feel you are experiencing difficulties in a relationship at the moment, and you would like to resolve them, try using the following questions to help you find a solution...

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How did the situation/event/disagreement start?

What happened next?

What was the reason I reacted that way – how was I feeling, what was I thinking?

What message was I trying to get across?

In general, there are two sides to a story - what part did I play in this?

In hindsight, what if anything am I pleased I said or did?

In hindsight, what if anything do I regret saying or doing?

Looking at my answers now, what has the situation and/or relationship taught me about myself (my likes, dislikes, values, needs etc) and other people?

What can I do now, or plan to do next time, that could lead to a better outcome that doesn’t hurt either myself or other people?

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FridayFocus on the relationship with your mind – take a step back and colour in this picture.

Did you know?There have been reports of elephants forming lifelong friendships with one another

Did you know?Herd sizes of 500-1000 have been recorded. This one big family is made up of elephant clans joining together

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Relationships wordsearchNow that your mind has been cleared – try to find all the words linked to this week’s edition of the newsletter!

FAMILYSTAFFHELPSHARINGSAFEFRIENDSTOGETHER

INTIMACYRESILIENCELOVEOPENTEAMDISCUSSIONCOMMUNICATION

PERSONALITYTALKSUPPORTSIMILARCARINGHAPPY


SaturdaySpend your Saturday with Shakespeare UnBardThis week focuses on A Midsummer Night’s Dream – Rowan Mackenzie from Shakespeare UnBard has selected some exercises for those of you who want to get creative with this classic play.

The plot:The forest is dark and full of strange creatures. Into the forest run four young lovers. A fairy King decides to play tricks on them. A potion makes them fall in love with the first thing they see. Chaos ensues! By the end the lovers form two happy couples.

Anagram challenge:Give these anagrams a go (answers on next page) …

CAR GENERATES RUST ________________________________________________

OVEN SURLY GO ________________________________________________

GRAY IF INK ________________________________________________

SUCH POPPY ALE ________________________________________________

Design challenge:Design the cover of the DVD/Blu-ray box if this was a movie. Try and focus on the theme of relationships!

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Strange creatures, young lovers, fairy king, happy couples

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Answers to the anagrams:


SundayStuck for conversation topics?Even if you’re getting to know someone, or you’ve known a loved one for a long time, it can be useful to change up conversation every once and a while. These topics are designed to open up what you talk about and take your talks in a whole other direction. Try some out for your next phone call/letter…

What food best describes your personality?

What are your five most important values?

Who is the person, currently alive, that you most want to meet right now?

What is the most surprising thing you know how to do?

What is the weirdest habit you have?

What do you think is your

biggest strength in our relationship?

What is the weirdest habit you have?

What do you think is your biggest strength in our relationship?

What book or movie do you wish you could experience for the first time again?

What motivates you to work hard?

What would be the greatest gift to receive?

Documents

Monday - hmppsintranet.org.uk · Welcome back to Your Update – the magazine we are sending out every week while we are all stuck inside. This week will focus on the . theme of relationships