MarriageBy

Sandy Hollis

From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls are destined to find each other, their two streams of light

flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.

Ba’al Shem Tov

OVERVIEW

A Jewish Marriage is a legal ceremony where a ketubah (legal marriage contract)

is given to the wife by the husband.

• Marriage is meant to bring a holy spirit within the house.

• In the Talmud “The Holy spirit can rest only upon a married man for an unmarried man is only half a man and the Holy spirit does not rest on what is imperfect.”

• In the Torah “It is not good for man to be alone because two are better then one.”

Marriage Ceremony

Symbols of the Wedding Ceremony• Chuppah - traced back 2,500 years, first home, symbolizes

God’s presence. Cypress tree planted at the birth of a boy and a cedar tree planted at the birth of a girl.

• Circling the groom - seven times denoting Protection and Seven days of creation (not necessarily done at Progressive weddings).

• Wine and Kiddush cup - “Wine gladdens the heart”.

Ketubah - wedding document/contract which confirms the covenant obligations and specifies the amount due in case of divorce. It dates back as far as 536 BCE.

Breaking the glass - reminder of the sadness of the destruction of the Temple. Marriage must weather both happy and sad times.

• Religious Aspects of the Marriage Ceremony• Aufruf - Sabbath before the wedding, the groom

called to read the Torah in the synagogue. Guests throw candy at him. In Progressive synagogues, both called to the Torah.

• Mikveh - ritual bath taken by bride to be.• Fasting – the couple fast for purity, forgiveness.• Sheva Brachot (7 prayers) - recited at the

ceremony and for seven days following the ceremony: 1 - wine; 2,3 - praise of God who created nature and mankind; 4,5,6 - for the bridal couple; and 7- for community and Israel.

• Yichud - breaking the fast.

• Communal Aspects of the Marriage Ceremony

• Matchmaker (Shadchan) - God was the first matchmaker for Adam and Eve.

• The whole community shares in the joy of the couple - Shiva Brachot.

• There may be differences in the Marriage Ceremony between different streams of Judaism and from community to community.

ORTHODOX PROGRESSIVETennaim

Kinyan

Bedeken Optional

Procession Procession

Circling the Groom Optional

Sermon Sermon

Kiddush Kiddush

Ring - Words Ring - Words

Ketubah Ketubah

Sheva Brachot Sheva Brachot

Drinking of Wine Drinking of Wine

Breaking of Glass Breaking of Glass

Mazal Tov Mazal Tov

Yichud Optional

Reception Reception

Repetition of Sheva Brachot

IDEALS

Shalom Bayit

FAMILY

CONTINUITY AND TRADITION

The significance of Marriage

For Judaism, marriage serves three interrelated purposes.

1. The propagation of the human species, as commanded in Genesis 1:28, "Be fruitful and multiply". According to talmudic law, this obligation is deemed to have been fulfilled when a man has begotten at least one son and one daughter, just as God created male and female in the Garden of Eden.

2. Marriage affords loving companionship. Again in the words of the Book of Genesis, "It is not good that man should be alone.... Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Genesis 2:18 and 24).

3. Marriage establishes the family as the basic social unit, and the home as the "little sanctuary" (Ezekiel 11:16) in which the father corresponds to a priest, the mother to a priestess, and the table to an altar. It is where children can grow up under the loving protection and guidance of their parents, and where the Jewish religion can be practised and transmitted from generation to generation.

The significance of marriage for both the individual and the community:

• Marriage is seen as a personal, contractual relationship.

• Marriage is seen as the fulfillment of the Mitzvah. All Jewish men and women are expected to marry. This is the first commandment – located in Genesis.

• Marriage is a holy covenant.• Marriage is a religious obligation.• Marriage structures the lives of the couple and assigns

clear roles to each partner. • Marriage fulfils a mitzvah as it is a positive religious

duty.• Marriage signifies the beginning of a new family.

• Marriage focuses on the centrality of the home and family and thus the continuation of the Jewish nation.

• Marriage is a way of holiness for the couple. It is through their relationship and the following of the mitzvah that the couple builds their relationship with God.

Within the marriage ceremony, the seven blessings praise God for the creation of all things, linking the couple to the story of creation and the history of the Jewish people.

Elevates the ordinary/mundane to the supernatural. It is a means of contact with God, who is present at the ceremony. For example, the recitation of the seven blessings, is designed to sanctify the ordinary, to transform this particular couple as their love embodies God’s creation, revelation, and redemption in the here and now.

• A means of identification with Judaism and with the Jewish community. It helps the couple to understand more clearly the central beliefs of Judaism. The marriage ceremony also strengthens the community of believers by putting the couple on equal footing with other married couples within the community and making them responsible for ensuring their life style is in keeping with Jewish teaching and tradition.