Managing Managing children’s children’s behaviorsbehaviors

ObjectivesObjectives

• Able to identify causes of children’s Able to identify causes of children’s behaviorbehavior

• Able to distinguish between discipline and Able to distinguish between discipline and punishmentpunishment

• Able to encourage desirable behaviour (3P)Able to encourage desirable behaviour (3P)• Able to utilize concepts of positive Able to utilize concepts of positive

discipline (3P)discipline (3P)• Able to apply basic concepts to Letter Able to apply basic concepts to Letter

Friend©Friend©

In our days…In our days…• Open question to floor: have anyone Open question to floor: have anyone

of you been disciplined when you of you been disciplined when you were young?were young?– What happened?What happened?– Why did you want to behave the way Why did you want to behave the way

you did?you did?– How did your parent respond?How did your parent respond?– How did you feel about their response? How did you feel about their response?

(Fair/unfair, appropriate/no (Fair/unfair, appropriate/no appropriate)appropriate)

– What did their response teach you?What did their response teach you?– How did you respond to them?How did you respond to them?

Key pointsKey points• How children behave How children behave

depends on their depends on their interpretation of their interpretation of their situation. situation.

• Adults need to understand Adults need to understand what the children are trying what the children are trying to accomplish through their to accomplish through their behavior, and to respond in behavior, and to respond in ways that are appropriate to ways that are appropriate to the behavior (and child’s age)the behavior (and child’s age)

Why do children behave the Why do children behave the way they do?way they do?

Reasons for Reasons for misbehavior:misbehavior:

• Unmet needsUnmet needs• Accidental rewardsAccidental rewards• Escalation TrapsEscalation Traps• Ignoring desirable Ignoring desirable

behaviourbehaviour• Watching othersWatching others• Giving instructionsGiving instructions• Emotional messagesEmotional messages

Reasons for good Reasons for good behavior:behavior:

• Assured/secure/Assured/secure/lovedloved

• ConfidentConfident• AppreciativeAppreciative• Show their adequacyShow their adequacy

Other factors maintaining Other factors maintaining misbehaviormisbehavior

• Genetic make upGenetic make up• Poor role modellingPoor role modelling• Inconsistent parentingInconsistent parenting• Poor parent-child relationshipPoor parent-child relationship• External influences/stressors External influences/stressors

e.g. other caregivers, school, e.g. other caregivers, school, etc.etc.

React or Respond?React or Respond?Prevent or Cure?Prevent or Cure?

Punishment or discipline?Punishment or discipline?PunishmentPunishment• Tells children that they have been Tells children that they have been

badbad• Does not tell them what to do insteadDoes not tell them what to do instead• Usually does not make sense to Usually does not make sense to

children because it does not have children because it does not have anything to do with the behaviouranything to do with the behaviour

• Is easy and fast, but teaches them Is easy and fast, but teaches them the importance of power and that the importance of power and that violence is a good way to conflict violence is a good way to conflict resolution.resolution.

React or Respond?React or Respond?Prevent or Cure?Prevent or Cure?

Punishment or discipline?Punishment or discipline?DisciplineDiscipline• Teaches children how to actTeaches children how to act• Helps children feel good about Helps children feel good about

themselves because it gives them themselves because it gives them a chance to correct their mistake, a chance to correct their mistake, and puts them in control of their and puts them in control of their actions.actions.

• Makes sense to a child because it Makes sense to a child because it is directly related to their is directly related to their behaviorbehavior

• Helps children know what is Helps children know what is expected of them even though expected of them even though more time, patience and creativity more time, patience and creativity is needed.is needed.

Positive parentingPositive parenting

Behaviors increase or decrease according to the Behaviors increase or decrease according to the consequences meted out to them.consequences meted out to them.

• Positive reinforcementsPositive reinforcements– Encouraging desirable behaviourEncouraging desirable behaviour– Promoting children’s developmentPromoting children’s development

• Positive disciplinePositive discipline– Managing misbehaviourManaging misbehaviour

POSITIVE POSITIVE REINFORCEMENTSREINFORCEMENTS

Positive relationships

• Spend quality time with the Spend quality time with the childchild

• Talk with the childTalk with the child• Show affectionShow affection

Encouraging desirable behaviour

• Praise the childPraise the child• Give the child attentionGive the child attention• Provide engaging activitiesProvide engaging activities

Descriptive praise

• Be clear and specific• Describe the behaviour you like• Be enthusiastic• Mean what you say

Teaching new skillsand behaviours

• Set a good exampleSet a good example• Use incidental teachingUse incidental teaching• Use Ask, Say, DoUse Ask, Say, Do• Use behaviour chartsUse behaviour charts

Incidental teaching

Promotes:Promotes:• LanguageLanguage• Creative, independent playCreative, independent play• General knowledgeGeneral knowledge• Problem solvingProblem solving

Incidental teaching

How could you use incidental How could you use incidental teaching for:teaching for:

• Why questions Why questions • Mispronouncing a wordMispronouncing a word• Wanting to show you Wanting to show you

somethingsomething• Asking for help when Asking for help when

frustratedfrustrated

Ask, Say, Do

For washing hair:For washing hair:• AskAsk What is the first thing we do whenWhat is the first thing we do when

we wash our hair? we wash our hair?

• SaySay First we get under the water and get First we get under the water and get ourour

hair all wet. Show me how you do it. hair all wet. Show me how you do it.

• DoDo Guide your child through the task. GiveGuide your child through the task. Give as little help as possible. as little help as possible.

• Praise cooperation and successPraise cooperation and success• Repeat Ask, Say, Do for each stepRepeat Ask, Say, Do for each step

of the taskof the task

Behaviour charts

• Describe the behaviour – state Describe the behaviour – state it positivelyit positively

• Decide how often a star is Decide how often a star is earnedearned

• Set a goal (easy at first)Set a goal (easy at first)• Decide on rewardsDecide on rewards• Decide on consequencesDecide on consequences• Get everything readyGet everything ready

Using a behaviour chart

• Praise the child every time Praise the child every time they earn a starthey earn a star

• Give the reward when the Give the reward when the goal is reachedgoal is reached

• Don’t criticise or take away Don’t criticise or take away starsstars

• Phase out rewardsPhase out rewards

POSITIVE DISCIPLINEPOSITIVE DISCIPLINE

Ground rules

Rules should be:• Few• Fair• Easy to follow• Enforceable• Positively stated

Directed discussionExample: Throwing pencil

• Gain your child’s attention: Gain your child’s attention: Carl…Carl…

• State the problem briefly and calmly:State the problem briefly and calmly:You just threw your pencil.You just threw your pencil.

• Explain why the behaviour is a problem:Explain why the behaviour is a problem:You might break something or hurt yourself You might break something or hurt yourself

or others.or others.• Ask your child the correct behaviour:Ask your child the correct behaviour:

What’s our rule about keeping your pencil?What’s our rule about keeping your pencil?• Have your child practise it:Have your child practise it:

OK, show me. Go back and start again.OK, show me. Go back and start again.• Praise the correct behaviour:Praise the correct behaviour:

That’s much safer. I like it when youThat’s much safer. I like it when youkeep your pencil nicely in the pencil case.keep your pencil nicely in the pencil case.

• For what minor behaviours For what minor behaviours could you use planned could you use planned ignoring?ignoring?

• When should you stop When should you stop ignoring a behaviour?ignoring a behaviour?

• What would stop you from What would stop you from using planned ignoring?using planned ignoring?

Ideas for planned ignoring

Clear, calm instructions• Get close – within an arm’s length• Get down to your child’s eye level• Gain your child’s attention – say

their name• Get eye contact if possible• Use a calm voice• Say exactly what you want your

child to do• Pause briefly to give time to

comply• Repeat a start instruction once –

do not repeat a stop instruction

Ideas for clear, calm instructions

How would you phrase your How would you phrase your instruction?instruction?

• It is time for the child’s TLF It is time for the child’s TLF lessonlesson

• The child is jumping on the The child is jumping on the couchcouch

Choosing logical consequences

• The child is throwing/tearing The child is throwing/tearing their books at the study tabletheir books at the study table

• The child is playing roughly The child is playing roughly with his pencilwith his pencil

Start routineCompliancee

GIVE INSTRUCTION

WAIT FOR 5 SECONDS

CHILD DOES AS ASKED

PRAISE

CHILD DOES NOT DO AS ASKED

REPEAT INSTRUCTION

WAIT FOR 5 SECONDS

PRAISE

CHILD DOES NOT DO AS ASKED

LOGICAL CONSEQUENCE

CHILD DOES AS ASKED

What are some things we What are some things we can do in Letter Friend can do in Letter Friend based on 3P principles?based on 3P principles?• Ensure safety at HomeEnsure safety at Home

• Ensure availability of interesting activities Ensure availability of interesting activities • Set clear ground rules - few, specific, Set clear ground rules - few, specific,

achievable, positively statedachievable, positively stated• Tell them when they are good – descriptive Tell them when they are good – descriptive

praisepraise• Help them to comply when they aren’t. Help them to comply when they aren’t.

1. Directed discussion1. Directed discussion– Draw their attention to their behaviorDraw their attention to their behavior– Ask them what they should be doing insteadAsk them what they should be doing instead– Ask the child to try the desired behavior and Ask the child to try the desired behavior and

reinforce positivelyreinforce positively2. Ask, Say, Do2. Ask, Say, Do

• Engage parents’ helpEngage parents’ help

What do you think about What do you think about their behavior?their behavior?

• 4 yr old Michelle keeps running to you when you 4 yr old Michelle keeps running to you when you are busy teaching her 6 yr old brotherare busy teaching her 6 yr old brother

• Your 5 yr old student writes on the walls with Your 5 yr old student writes on the walls with crayons.crayons.

• Your 6 year old student refuses to practice writing Your 6 year old student refuses to practice writing the alphabets. He asks to do something else that the alphabets. He asks to do something else that he is more interested in (things that come into his he is more interested in (things that come into his sight). When you refuse, he demands and cries.sight). When you refuse, he demands and cries.

• Question: Question: – What does the child want? Why do you think he/she does What does the child want? Why do you think he/she does

that? that? – How do parents generally react and how child responds How do parents generally react and how child responds

to them?to them?– How do we want to deal with this situation? Is your How do we want to deal with this situation? Is your

resolution age-appropriate?resolution age-appropriate?