INTRODUCTIONManyofusoperateonautomaticpilot.Howmany timeshaveyou left

thehouseandthenlaterhavenorecollectionofyouractionssincethen—totheextentthatyouevenmightreturntocheckyouhaveactuallyshutorlockedyourfrontdoor?(Andyes,Ihavedonethat!)Toacertainextentweneedtooperatethatwaytogetthingsdoneinthetimewehaveavailable.Butproblemsarise

whenwespendthemajorityofourlifeinthisway—zoningoutofthe

small, everyday experiences that add color and texture to life. Our lack ofattention means we don’t notice or we miss much that is going on and thisaffectsourrelationships.Wemultitasksomuchthatweneverstoptotakestockofwhereweare—weareconstantlyleaningforwardtomoveontothe

nextthing.Orwemightbestuck;paralyzedwiththoughtsof“whatif”or“if

only” thatpreventusmoving forwardanddealingwithwhat isgoingonnow.Thenegativity thatarisesoutof thesestatesofmindaffectsusevenmoreandwemay becomeanxious or depressed, orwemay self-medicate

withdrugsandalcohol,andsothecyclecontinues.Veryoftenthecycleis

brokenonlybyamajorlifechange—anillnessoranaccident,abereavement,arelationshipbreakdown.Thesearethetypeofeventsthatjoltusawakeandmakeusquestion thewaywe live. It isoftenonlywheneverythingfallsapart

thatweareprepared(andforced)tomakeradicalchanges.

Idiscoveredmindfulnessbychance—browsingthelocallibrary’sshelvesIcameacrossJonKabat-Zinn’sbookFullCatastropheLiving.Despiteitsthickness,thesub-title of “How to cope with stress, pain and illness using mindfulnessmeditation”, soundedpromising for someonewhowas struggling tocopewithstress.Readingitwasoneofthose“lightbulb”momentsasIrealizedhowmuch

energyIwasexpendingtryingtokeepmylifeexactlyhowIthoughtitshouldberatherthanacceptinghowitactuallywas.TherealizationthatIcouldstopstruggling and start fromwhere I actually was, gaveme a huge

feelingofrelease—eventhoughtheacknowledgmentofthesizeof thegap

betweenrealityandexpectationswaspainful.

AtthesametimeIwasalreadyinterestedinmeditation,butIwasnotdrawntoany traditional Buddhist orders. I was struggling with the practicalities—forexample, in my yoga class the teacher would fold elegantly into the Lotuspositionandwewouldgointosilencefor20minutes.Iwouldclosemyeyesfor what seemed an age only to open them and realize that the

secondhandoftheclockhadbarelymoved.Iwouldsitcross-legged,in

agony, without a clue what I was supposed to be doing, and wonder howeveryoneelsemanagedtosittheresoserenely.Onethingledtoanother,inthewayitdoesifyouletthingsunfoldintheirowntime.Idiscoveredtherewasnoneed to contortmyself into an uncomfortable position; gradually, twominutesextendedtofive,thenafewmore,andsoon.

Takingonestepatatime(andafewbackward),Ibegantowalkthepathofmindfulness, keepingmyattention firmlyplaced inmy feet,while

retaining an overall sense of the direction I was heading in. My

experience of each step encouraged and informed the next.Mindfulness nowinfluencesandguidesmywholelife.Itseffectsarenotalwayseasytolivewith,and I often stumble and go off track, butconnecting toone’sown inner

wisdomandstrengthtakesyoutoaplaceofrichness.Wediscover

thatwehavetolearnthesamelessonsoverandoveragain—andthat’sokay—onenever“arrives,”butinsteadconstantlylearnsandgrows.

I have been influenced and taught so

much by so many. Much of that ispassedonhereinthespiritofsharingthatunderpinsBuddhistteachings,butany mistakes are mine. I hope thisbook will serve as a taster for thepossibilities that mindfulness

meditation can bring into your

own life and encourage you to

explore the subject further. Theemphasis is on experimenting withways to bring mindfulness into youreveryday life, anddoing this in smallstepsatapacethatfeelsrightforyou.Youhavealifetimeofmomentsfilledwithopportunityaheadofyou.

Before trying any of the meditations in the book, it may help to have someunderstandingofwhatmindfulnessis,whereitcomesfrom,andhowitisbeingusedtoday.Althoughitsrootsareover2,500yearsold,itisonlyinthelast30yearsorsothatithasbeenusedtherapeuticallyandbecomemoremainstream.InthischapterIalsohighlightthebenefitsofmindfulnessandexplainhowanyoneof us can draw out and cultivate these inherent qualities, as well as dispel

somecommonmisconceptionsaboutmeditation.

Thebookisdesignedfordippinginandoutof,butbeforeyoubeginpracticingIrecommendyoureadHowtoMaketheMostofthisBook.Thissectionhassomeimportant informationabouthowtoapproachthepracticesandgetthemost

fromthem,whilealwayslookingafteryourself.Tothatend,thereisalsosome

guidanceonpostureandhowtoassumeapositionofalertattentionthatissafeandrelaxed.Manyofthemeditations,though,canbedonewhileyouareoutandaboutindailylife.

Inmindfulnessmeditationwearedeliberatelycultivatingparticularattitudesthatwill support our practice and in this chapter Iwill explainwhat these are andhow they can benefit us—in everyday life as well as in the practices

themselves.

MINDFULNESSDEFINEDTobeginwith,itishelpfultohaveaclearunderstandingofwhatmindfulnessis:deliberatelypayingattentiontothingswenormallywouldnoteven

notice,andbecomingawareofourpresentmomentexperienceas

it arises, non-judgmentally, and with kindness and compassion.

Whenwe practicemindfulness, we pay attention towhat is happening in ourmindandourbody;toourthoughts—thestorieswetellourselves—aswellastoemotionsandphysicalsensationsastheyarearising.

ORIGINSOFMINDFULNESS

MindfulnessmeditationhasitsoriginsinBuddhistpracticesthatareover2,500years old. Prince Siddhartha, who became the Buddha, dedicated his life tofindingthecauseofsufferingandherecommendedmindfulnessasawayofovercoming grief, sorrow, pain, and anxiety, and of realizing

happiness.

In1979mindfulnessbegantobeusedtherapeuticallybyDrJonKabat-

Zinn and colleagues at the Stress Reduction Clinic at the University ofMassachusetts Hospital, USA. Kabat-Zinn developed the eight-weekMindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program as a way of helpingpeoplelearntolivewithchronicmedicalconditions.Thesewerepeoplewhothedoctors could do nothing more for—for example, those with terminal illness,chronic back pain, or who had HIV. Many of them were suffering fromdepressionandanxietyasaresultoftheircondition.

InMBSR,mindfulnessiscultivatedthroughformalmeditationpractices,suchassitting and the body scan, as well as mindful movement, such as yoga, andinformalpracticesinwhichparticipantsbringmindfulnessmeditationintotheireveryday lives.Through thesepracticesparticipantsdiscoveradifferent

wayofbeingwiththeirsuffering.Theprogramcultivatesqualitiessuchas

patience, acceptance, and equanimity, which enable them to deal with stress,chronicpain,andillnesswithgreaterease,skill,andwisdom.Clinicalresearchhas shown that beneficial physical changes occur in participants

completing the course, including a stronger immune system, lower bloodpressure, and shifts in the way the brain deals with difficult emotions. ThebenefitsoftheMBSRprogramspreadbywordofmouthandthroughthemedia,anditwassoonofferedtopeopleofallagesinallwalksoflife.Today,MBSRprogramsarepopularinschools,prisons,andinthesportsandbusinessworlds,aswellasinhealthcare,wheretheyarepracticedasmuchbyhealthcare

providersasbypatientsthemselves.

In2001Mindfulness-BasedCognitiveTherapy(MBCT)wasdevelopedbyMarkWilliams, John Teasdale, and Zindel V. Segal. Based onMBSR, MBCT wasdeveloped specifically for the treatment of depression, but has since beenadapted for other clinical conditions, including anxiety, eating disorders, andaddictions.MBCTis recommendedbyNICE(theNational Institute forHealthandClinicalExcellence)intheUKforthetreatmentofdepressioninindividualswhohavesufferedthreeormoreepisodes.

In essence MBSR and MBCT are very similar. There is a difference in thatMBSRisusuallytaughttogenericgroupsofpeoplesufferingfromavarietyofphysical and psychological conditions or disorders and/or general life stress,whereasMBCTisusuallytaughttoagroupsufferingfromaspecificcondition,

suchasdepressionoranxiety,andsowouldincludecoursecontentappropriatefor that condition. However, the emphasis on the deliberate and non-judgmentalpresent-momentawarenessofone’sownexperienceis

atthecoreofbothMBSRandMBCT.

Theevidencebasefor the therapeuticusesofmindfulness-basedapproaches tohealthisgrowingallthetime.Researchiscommonlydonewithparticipantsonastructuredeight-weekcourse, incorporatingadailypracticeofbothformalandinformalmeditations,aswellasclassroomteaching.Thepracticesinthisbookare predominantly informal and, although they are not a substitute fortherapeuticcare,theyareagoodplacetostartpracticingmindfulnessifyouareabeginner.

Ifyoualreadyhavesomeexperienceofmindfulnessmeditation,Ihopethisbookwill encourage you to bring it more into your daily life. While the formalpracticesarewithoutdoubtimportant,themorewecanweavemindfulnessintothefabricofourlives,themorewewillreapthebenefits.

HOWTOMAKETHEMOSTOFTHISBOOK

The book has been divided into different chapters. If you are new tomindfulness,Irecommendyoustartwithsomeofthebody-focusedpracticesinChapter2,Tuning in to theBody.Thesewill introducesomecoreskills,such as breath awareness and moving the attention around the

body, which are needed for practices in which we learn to “be with the

difficult,” such as pain or anxiety. It is always best to take small steps

ratherthanjumpinatthedeepend.Chapter5,WeavingYourParachute

hassomefoundationalpracticesthatunderpinandcultivateattitudesandskills,whichwillhelpyougetthemostoutofallthemeditations.Onceyouareusedtofocusingonthebreath,itisfinetodipinandoutofthedifferentsections.

A key component of mindfulness is thewillingness to turn toward the

difficult—uncomfortablesensationsinthebody,painfulemotions,orunwanted

thoughts.Asourawareness increaseswenoticemuch thatpreviouslywehavetuned out from because it was unpleasant or painful, either physically or

psychologically. Paying attention to the body can also bring old

emotions to the surface. All of this means that, while mindfulness

meditation can have many benefits, it can also be stressful and, at times,difficult. If at any time you feel overwhelmed, it is important that you stopimmediately. It does not mean that you will never be able to practicemindfulness,butperhapsitmightbebettertodoitwiththesupportofateacheroratatimewhenthingsarelessstressfulforyou.If indoubt,alwaysseektheadviceofyourdoctor.

I recommend that you take the time to read through the following guidancebefore embarking on any of the practices.When you come to do a practice, Isuggestyoureaditthroughafewtimesandthensetasidethebookandhaveago. There is never just one way to do something and the

instructions are for guidance only. The more you do the practices the

more you will make them your own, using your own words, phrases, andrhythms that will have a particular resonance for you. Feel free also tomakepractices longer or shorter as you wish. Many of them can be extended towhatevertimeyouhaveavailable.

Themoreyoudothepracticesthemoreyouwillmakethemyour

own,usingyourownwords,phrases,andrhythms

REMEMBER

★Mindfulnessisaboutdeliberatelypayingattentiontoyourexperience,

withoutjudgment,asitunfolds—noticingwhatishappeningphysicallyinthe

bodyandwhere.Italsoinvolvesbeingawareofwhatemotionsarearising

andthetoneofthesefeelings,aswellasnoticingthestorieswetellourselves.

★Theemphasisisalwaysonwhatishappening,notwhyitishappening.

★Weuseoursenses—sight,sound,taste,touch,andsmell—toexploreour

experience.

★Weneverlookforaparticularexperience.Thereisnorightorwrong

experience.Whateveryourexperienceis,thisisyourexperienceinthis

moment.

★Ifatanytimeyougetlostinapractice,justbringyourattentionbackto

thephysicalsensationsofbreathing.

QUESTIONSYOUMIGHTASKYOURSELFWHILE

PRACTICINGARE:

★WhatamIfeelingphysicallyinmybody?Noticewhatthesensationis,

whereitislocatedanditsparticularcharacteristic—forexample,whetheritis

constantorchanging,andsoon.

★WhatamIfeelingemotionally?Ifyouidentifyaparticularemotion—for

example,anger—askyourself:HowdoIknowIamfeelingangry?Wheream

Iexperiencingangerinmybody?Whatdothephysicalsensationsofanger

feellike?HowwouldIdescribethem?

★Whatthoughtsarearising?WhatstoriesamItellingmyselfaboutmy

experience?

Youcandomanyofthepracticeswhileyouareoutandabout in

yourdailylife—standinginlines,orsittinginyourcarorawaitingroom.Butforothersyouwillneedtofindaquietplacewhereyouwon’tbe

disturbed.Ihaveknownstudentswhoretiretothebathroomatworkinorder

tohaveafewminutesundisturbedmeditationtime!

Whereveryouare,Isuggestyouturnofforunplugyourphone.Ifyouare

worried about finishing at a particular time, I would recommend setting yourphone to vibrate or using a timer or alarm clock, but perhaps put it under acushion or a pillow so that the sudden ringing does not startle you toomuch.Thereissomeguidanceaboutposture.

Somepeople findkeepingameditation journalhelpful so that theycan recordtheirexperiences,andnowadaysthereareevenphoneappsthatallowyoutodothis.

It is easy foryourmindfulnesspractice tobe relegated toyet another itemonyour list of things to do, so I suggest you keep it simple and perhaps

focus on just one practice to start with. It’s best to do one practice

several times a week, or whenever you remember, before experimentingwithsomethingnew.Congratulateyourselfonwhatyoudomanagetodoratherthanberateyourselfforwhatyoudon’taccomplish.

HOWCANMINDFULNESSHELPUS?Thebodyhasabuilt-inalarmsystem,whichiscalledthe“stressreaction”anditalsohasacorresponding“calmingresponse.”Thisalarmsystem,knownasthe“fight-or-flight” mechanism, has ensured our evolutionary survival, butnowadaystoooftenitistriggeredrepeatedlybyeverydaystressesratherthanthelifeordeathsituationsofourancestors.However,mindfulnesscanhelptoswitch off the stress reaction and to activate the calming

response.

We all suffer from stress, so it is useful to have some understanding ofwhatstress is and the role it plays in our lives. It is a complex subject and thefollowingexplanationhasbeengreatlysimplified,butthereareplentyofbooksinwhichyoucanreadaboutthestressresponseinmoredetail.

Thehumanbody ishot-wiredforstress.Theeffectivenessofourstressreaction has ensured our survival and consequently our default

setting isoneofhypervigilance. The “enemies”we face todaymay be

different from thoseour hunter-gatherer ancestors encountered, but theway inwhich we process danger remains the same. In fact, the fight-or-flightmechanismisoperatedbytheamygdala,oneofthemostprimitivepartsofourbrain.

The brain is constantly processing information received throughour senses. Ifsomething or someone is perceived as a threat, the body’s alarm system isactivated instantly, preparing it to fight or flee by diverting all the body’sresourcestodealwiththeemergency.

★Energy,asepinephrine(adrenaline),isreleased–aswellasotherstress

hormonesthatactivatethebody’semergencysystems–tohelpyourunfaster

orfightthedanger.

★Theheartspeedsup,beatingthreeorfourtimesfasterthanusualtopump

bloodaroundthebodyasquicklyaspossible,sothatthearmsandlegscan

functionoptimallytofightorrun.

★Long-termbodilyfunctions,suchasgrowth,digestion,andthe

reproductivesystem,areshutdown—therationalebeingthatifyouarekilled

bythethreat,youwon’tneedtogrow,digestyourfood,orreproduce.

★Thebodyevacuatesanywastematter,whichisextraweight,sothatitisas

lightaspossibletoflee.Thisiswhywemayfeeltheneedtovisitthe

bathroomwhenwearestressed.

You may notice how your skin goes clammy in stressful moments. This isbecausebloodisbeingpulledawayfromthebody’ssurfacetosupporttheheartandmuscles,andtoreducebloodlossincaseofinjury.Youalsofeelbutterfliesin thestomachas thedigestivesystemisshuttingdown,andyourheartbeginsbeatingrapidlyasitpumpsfaster.Inaddition,yourpupilsdilatesothatyoucanseebetter;thescalptightensandyourhairseemstostandonend(yourbodyhairdoesthis,too)sothatyoucansensedangerthroughvibrations;yourmouthgoes

dry because fluid is being diverted from nonessential locations; and in somepeople,thethroatgoesintospasm.

Simultaneously, while the body is activated for action, the brain continues togatherinformationfromthesensesabouttheallegedthreat,aswellasfromthehighercentersofthebrain,accessingmemoriesandcomparingthethreatagainstany previous, similar experiences, including those we may have experiencedsecond-hand. What the brain discovers determines whether it deactivates ormaintains the alert. Ifwe respondnegatively towhatweare experiencing, thebrainwilldeterminethatsomethingbadishappeningtousandkeepthebodyonalert. Therefore, although our thoughts and our memories have an

importantroletoplayinsafeguardingusfromdanger, theycanalso

workagainstusandperpetuateanunfoundedthreat.

When the fight-or-flight mechanism is repeatedly and needlessly activatedthrough everyday stress, the consequences can be serious and our long-termbodysystemscanbecomevulnerabletodisease.Theconstantincreaseinbloodpressureheightensour riskof heart disease; the stresshormones affect insulinactivity and thereby increase the risk of diabetes; our immune system can becompromised;andourmemoryandour thoughtprocessesaredisrupted,soweoperate less efficiently. The presence of the stress hormone cortisol can causelong-termdamagebyoveractivating theamygdala, therebypromoting fearandnegativity. It also reduces neural branching and inhibits the growth of newneurons,soweremainstuckinold,fearfulbeliefs.Themoodwearein

affects our interpretation of events—a lowmood is more likely to produce anegativeinterpretationofaneutralevent.Excessivecortisolalsocausestheareaof the brain that produces new brain cells towither and die. Chronicstress

strengthens the negative networks in the brain and weakens the

positiveones.

Weoftencopewiththeseunpleasantreactionstostressbyartificialmeans,suchas consuming alcohol, taking medication, or working harder, which onlycompoundandperpetuatethecycle.

Surprisingly,perhaps,thesmalleverydaystressesaremoreharmfulto

usinthelongtermthanone-off,hugelystressfulevents.Andthemoreoften

thestressreactionisactivated,themorelikelyitisbetriggeredagain,givingthebody less and less time to recover. In thisway,we become stuck in a never-endingcycle.

Oncethestressreactionhasbeenactivated,thenaturalwaytoremovethe

stresshormones from thebody is throughaction—for our ancestors

this meant fighting or running away. Obviously, physically fighting or

running away are rarely options in our everyday lives, but any

exercise, such as walking vigorously, running, or swimming, can achieve thesameresultsandbringthebodybacktoastateofequilibrium.Unfortunately,wecannotalwaystakeexerciseatthemomentoffeelingstressed.

However,wecanactivatethecalmingresponsethroughmindfulness

andwecandothisanywhere. Ifwecaninterveneat thepointwherethe

brainisgatheringfurtherinformationabouttheperceivedthreat,wecanrespondratherthanreact,aswecancontextualizeandinterpretthesituationmorewisely.Wecansee the threatforwhat it really is—andif it isafalsealarm, thestressreaction is deactivated.We can do this bynoticingwhat ishappening to

us, paying attention to the uncomfortable physical sensations, and thereby

shifting from thinkingabout the threat andallof thepossible consequences tosimply experiencing it as it unfolds. Mindfulness breaks the cycle of

rumination,whichkeepstheamygdalainthealertposition.

Practicing mindfulness de-sensitizes the stress trigger and thereby allows thebody to return to a state of equilibrium rather than remain hyper vigilant.Peoplewhopracticemindfulnessstillexperiencestress,andmay

actuallyfeelemotionsmorestrongly,buttheyarelesslikelytobe

overcomebyitandtheyarelikelytorecovermorequickly.

How stressful an event is for us depends on how we perceive it. If we canchange the way we perceive an event, we can change our response to it. Somindfulness canactivate thebody’s built-in calming response. It can

alsohelpusinotherways.

Research after the eight-weekMBSR course has shown that physical changesoccur in the body: blood pressure can be reduced, the immune systemstrengthened,andthebraincanevenchangethewayitprocessesinformation.A

study by Richard Davidson and colleagues discovered that after an MBSRcourse, participants showed amarked shift in brain activation toward the areabetterabletohandledifficultemotions.Ithadbeenpreviouslybelievedthiswasasetpointineachindividualthatwasmoreorlessfixedforlife,butDavidson’sresearchshowed thatwecanactually influenceandchangeourbrain

tomakeitworkforthebetter.

There are also psychological benefits.Mostofusspend themajorityof

time in our heads rather thanour bodies.We problem-solve ourway

through life andwhile that can be effective in the office orwhen runningourhome,wecannottreatouremotionsinthesameway.Whenwetrytodoso,webecomecaughtinaspin-cycleofthinking,replayingeventsoverandoverinourmindinawaythatisunhelpfulandcanspiralintoanxietyanddepression.

At the same time,weareoftenunawareofwhat

isgoingoninthebody.Eitherweareuninterested

orwe deliberately block out unpleasant sensations andemotions. Sometimes numbing out physical oremotionalpaincanbeanimportantcopingstrategy,butwe often continue using it long after the threat haspassed.Ourbodycangiveusessentialfeedbackonwhatwe are feeling emotionally and physically. Bybecoming more attuned to our body, we

becomemoreinformedabouthowaparticulareventorsituationis

affectingus andwe are alsomore likely to pick up earlywarning signs of

physicalandpsychologicalillness.

Wecanonlymakewisechangesifwearetrulyawareofour

experience

Whenwepracticemindfulness,wearedeliberatelyturningourattentiontoour thoughts, our emotions, andphysical sensationsas theyare

arising. We begin to notice habitual patterns of thinking or behavior. We

becomeawareoftheconstraintsandboxeswecreatearoundourselves.Weoftenrealizehowmindlessweareandhowmuchofourlifeispassingusbyunnoticedaswearecaughtupinre-livingthepastorwaitingforabetterfuture.However,asJonKabat-Zinnsays,thepresentmomentistheonlymomentwhere

itispossibletochange.Andwecanonlymakewisechangesifwearetruly

aware of what our experience really is. The moment of awareness that iscultivated through mindfulness offers a window of opportunity to respond

differently.Itcreatesaspacethatcanbeenoughtomakeusthinktwiceabout

our habitual reaction. That small shift can be enough to turn us in a verydifferentdirectionandwearemorelikelytorespondwithgreaterwisdom.

There is a growing evidence base for the clinicalbenefitsofMBSRandMBCT,buttherearebenefitsforallofus,regardlessofwhetherwearesufferingphysicaloremotionalpain.Sufferingisapartoflife.Weareallgoingtoexperiencegrief,loss,anddeathatsomepointand many of us will experience illness and othertraumatic life events. Even happy events, such as awedding or the birth of a child, can be stressful.However, much of the daily stress we

experience that has a negative effect on our health, well-being,

andpersonalrelationshipsismadeupofrepeatedoccurrencesof

smallevents:missinga train, forgettinganappointment, losingworkon the

computer,sayingsomethinghurtfultoalovedone,andsoon.

Ifwestarttopayattentiontothemomentsthatmakeupeveryday,

wecanbegintodothingsdifferently,andmomentbymoment,stepbystep,wecanchangeourlifeforthebetter.Whenwewakeuptothemomentsinlife,weexperiencewhatKabat-Zinn calls “the full catastrophe” of life: the joyful, thedifficult, thepainful, theboring.Webegin tonoticehow life is inconstant

flux—just like the weather—and the possibility of change is always

present.Werealizethatallhumanbeingssufferandthatlifeisoftendifficult.

Everyoneelseisnotalwayshappyandlivinganidyllic,perfectlife,despitewhatthemediamightleadustobelieve.Realizingthatwearenotfailuresjust

becauseweareexperiencingunhappinesscanbeliberating.

Whenwe do formalmeditation practices, such as a sittingmeditation, all thedifficult emotions we experience in daily life—boredom, restlessness,impatience,irritation,fear,andanger—willappearatsomepoint,aswellasthepositiveones.The formalpracticesoffer anopportunity topracticebeingwithdifficultemotionsinaplaceofrelativesafety,therebyallowingustodealwiththemmoreeffectivelywhenweexperiencethemindailylife.

Aswebecomeawareofourthoughts,webegintorealizehowmuchofour

own unhappiness is caused by the stories we tell ourselves. For

example,sayyoustubyourtoeonabagthathasbeenleftonthefloorbyyourpartner.Youexperiencethephysicalpainofthetoemakingcontactwiththebag.Thisisthefirstdart.Then,ifyouarelikethemajorityofus,youbeginrantingabout thebagbeing lefton the floorandbeforeyouknow ityouareaccusingyourpartnerofnotlovingorrespectingyou,orberatingyourselffornotdoingbetterat school/havingabetter job/beingable toaffordabiggerhouse,andsoon.Youmayevenwonderifthetoeisbrokenandwhattheconsequencesofthatmight be.These stories are the second dart.We cannot do anything about the

first dart, because this is physical suffering. However, we can do somethingabouttheseconddart;wecanbecomeawareofthestoriesandletthem

go.Thispartiswithinourcontrol.

Learningtoletgoisnoteasy.Whenwepracticewatchingthebreath(or

indeedanypointoffocus,suchasasoundorasensation),wegentlyescortourattention back to the breath every time our mind wanders.We are practicinglettinggoofthatthought.Wedothisoverandoveragaineverytimewepracticeandindoingso,wepracticelettinggo.

REMEMBER

We practice. Practicing entails repetition. Practicing takes time and effort.Mindfulnessisnotaquickfix.Totrulyexperiencetransformationalchange,youneed tomakemindfulnessan integralpartofyour life.Although this

might sound daunting, remind yourself that all change occurs through

smallstepsandbyreadingthisbookyouhavealreadytakenthefirstone.Just

asstressarisesthroughsmalleventsthatweperceiveasstressful,wecanbegin

toundothenegativeeffectswithsmallactions.

WHOCANPRACTICEMINDFULNESS?Whilemindfulnessisatraitthatisnaturallystrongerinsomepeoplethanothers,thisalsomeansthatitissomethinginherentinallofus,whichcanbecultivated,strengthened,anddrawnout.

Mindfulnesscanbeofbenefit toanyone,but the followingpeoplemay find itparticularlyhelpful:

★Carersorthoseinthecaring

professions.Whenwearelooking

afterothers,itcanbeverydifficultto

maketimeforourselves.However,

ourprimaryresponsibilityshouldbe

toourselves—thenwewillbebetter

abletolookafterothers.

★Ifyouhaveahistoryofrepeated

boutsofdepression,ratherthanone

episodeofdepressioninresponseto

asinglelifeevent.Mindfulnessmaynotpreventafuturerelapse,but

hopefullyitwillhelpyouspotthewarningsignsofdepressionsoonerandso

therelapsewillbeshorterandlesssevere.

★Ifyousufferfromanxiety.Webecomeanxiouswhenwedwellonthepast

orworryaboutthefuture.The“whatifs”and“ifonlys”cantieusupin

knots.Inmindfulness,theemphasisonthepresentmomentcanstopthe

downwardspiral,andfocusingonthesensationsyoufeelinyourbodycan

helppullyououtofthenegativemindset.

★Ifyouaresufferingfromachronicillnessorcondition.Mindfulnesscan

helpuslearntolivewithillnessratherthanbeconsumedbyit.Bynoticing

themoment-to-momentchangesinthemindandbodywearebetterableto

makeuseofthosetimes,andalsotorecognizewhenitisbettertorestand

recuperate.

★Ifyousufferfromchronicorintermittentpain.Weincreaseoursuffering

withthestorieswetellourselvesaboutpain;andwetensethebodyto

withstandandresistpainand,indoingso,createadditionalstressandtension

elsewhere.Mindfulnesscanhelpusmoveupclosetothepainsothatwe

becomemorefamiliarwithitscharacteristicsandnoticethestorieswetell

ourselves,whichenablesustobecomelesscaughtupinit.Painispresent,

butwearemuchmorethanthepain.

★Ifyoufeelstressedoroverwhelmed.Mindfulnesscanhelpdeactivatethe

stressreaction.

★Peoplegoingthroughaperiodofchangeintheirlife.Participantsoften

cometothecoursewhensomethinghaschangedintheirlife,perhaps

childrenhavelefthome,ortheyhavebeenmaderedundant,orarelationship

hascometoanend.Theseeminglysolidgroundoftheirday-to-daylifehas

shifted.

★Peoplewhorealizetheywouldlikesomethingtobedifferentintheirlife,

eveniftheyarenotsurewhat.Thesepeoplehavenotbeenformally

diagnosedwithanythingspecific.

Practicingmindfulnessisaboutrebalancingour lives,andwecan

all get something different from it. People who are very loud and

gregariousmay learn to temper their responses inpublic and learn to listen toothers.Theshymousemaylearntospeakoutandbeheard.Anotherpersonmayloseweightbecauseheorshestartsnoticinganautomaticimpulsetoeatwhenfeeling down.Aby-product formewas that I began to recyclemyhouseholdwaste—before practicing mindfulness I had thought there was little pointbecause my small contribution could not make any difference in the overallscheme of things. When we practice mindfulness we realize thesmallestthingsdomakeadifferenceandeverythoughtandaction

has a consequence. We can influence what happens next by making

deliberate choices about how we respond in the present moment. This hasimplicationsoneveryleveloflifefromthepersonaltotheglobal.

Beginners often think their mind is too busy for meditation. A

common Buddhist analogy is to talk of the “monkey mind” with thoughtsjumpingfromsubject tosubject likemonkeys fromtree to tree. Ifwewish to,anyoneofuscanlearntomeditate.Thevarietyofmeditationpractices

allows room to experiment—for example, people sometimes find mindfulmovementhelpfulandeasierthansittingpracticewhentheirmindisparticularlyrestless.

There are many different forms of meditation practice: some focus solely ondevelopingconcentration,othersuseprops,suchascandlesormusic,asapointoffocus.Othermeditationpractices,suchasTaichi,QiGong,andyoga,involve

movement and there are even dance/meditation practices. Mindfulness ispracticedbymanyBuddhistordersandformspartofmanyBuddhisttraditions.The various traditions and methods are often just different

doorways into the same room, so experiment to find out what

appealstoyou.

Itispossibletopracticemindfulnessmeditationatanyage.Youngchildrenarenaturally more mindful than adults as they very much live in the presentmoment,butauthorandeducatorSusanKaiserGreenland is teachingformsofmindfulness to children as young as four. Teenagers can find it particularlyhelpful. However, choice is an integral part of mindfulness and it is

counter-productivetodirectortrytoforceanyonetopractice.

It isnever too late tobeginpracticingmindfulnessand ifyourpractice lapses,youcanalwaysbeginagain.

It is important to realize that the mind will always wander. I find itreassuringtohearmeditationteacherswhohavepracticedforoverfortyyearstalkoftheirwanderingmind!Itiswhatmindsdo.Whenourmindwanders,wenoticewhereithasgoneandthengentlyandkindlybringour attention back to the point of focus (the breath, the sound, orwhateverisbeingusedasafocus.)Wedothisonce,twice,tenthousandtimes—and that is thepractice.Every timeourmindwanderswehaveanopportunity topractice lettinggoandcomingback;JonKabat-Zinnlikens it toworking out in the gym, but insteadwe are exercising themuscleofawareness.

COMMONMISCONCEPTIONSPeopleoftenhaveconcernsaboutmeditationorperhapshavehalfheardaboutdifferent techniques, so it is helpful to clarify some misconceptions thatcommonlyarise.

Wearenot tryingtoemptyorclearourmindwhenwemeditate; insteadweareobservingour thoughts

and noticing common patterns or stories.

Generally, we are unaware of the stories that areinfluencinganddrivingallouractionsanddecisions.Bybringing them into awareness, we are in a

better position to discard those that are

unhelpful and deliberately encourage those that are

helpful.

WedonotneedtositintheLotuspositiontomeditate.It isnotthepositionthat is important,butthe

attitudeofmindwebringtoit.Ifyousufferfroma

physicalconditionthatmeansyouwouldfinditdifficulttodoapracticeassuggested,suchaslyingonthefloor,thenitisalwaysfinetoadaptandchangeittosuithowyouareatthismoment.SeePosture formoreguidanceonposture.

There is no conflict with any religion or religious beliefs. Many

religionspracticeformsofmeditation.Thepracticesdescribedin thisbookarecompletelysecular,althoughtheymayhavetheirrootsinBuddhistpractices.

We are not meditating in order

to relax or, indeed, to achieve

anyparticularstateofmind.We

maybecomemore relaxed as a resultof meditating, but if we set out tobecome relaxedbymeditatingwearesetting ourselves up for failure anddisappointment.Whenwemeditateweare opening ourselves to whateverarises. All mind states and emotionswill arise at some point—particularlywhen we do formal practices—andthis presents us with opportunities tobe with difficult emotions in a safeenvironment. In this way we cancultivateskillsthatwecanthen

put into practice when difficult

emotionsariseineverydaylife.

Mindfulness is not positive thinking.We are not trying to convince ourselvesthat everything in the world is wonderful. On the contrary,mindfulness isabout opening to all experience: the good, the bad, and the

neutral. Each is as worthy of our attention as the others. We need to

acknowledgeandexperiencethedarkaswellasthelight,andalloftheshadesofgrayinbetween.Throughopeninguptothefullspectrumwebegintoseehowcircumstances change and states ofmind ebb and flow like the tide, and thatnothingisfixedforever.Therealwaysexiststhepossibilityforchange,

howeversmall.

Mindfulness is definitely not a quick fix or a miracle cure. Practicingmindfulnessmeditationrequiresacommitmentandawillingnessto

bewithwhateverarises,andthiscanbechallenging.

Whenwetalkof“livinginthemoment,”thisdoesnotmeanlivingwithoutanythought to the future. Living in the moment simply means paying

attention to our experience as it happens. By knowing (and

acknowledging)whatisactuallyhappeninginthismomentwearebetterabletotakecareofandinfluencewhatisgoingtohappennext.

HELPFULATTITUDESMeditationisanactiveprocessandifyouwanttobringaboutchangein

yourlife,itrequiresadeliberateengagementonyourpart.Noone

else can do this for you and how you approach it is important. In FullCatastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn stresses the importance of particularattitudes that are helpful to cultivate and form the bedrock upon which ourmindfulnesspracticerests.

THEFOLLOWINGAREPARTICULARLYHELPFUL

ATTITUDESTOBRINGTOMINDWHENYOUAREDOING

ANYOFTHEPRACTICESINTHISBOOK:

CURIOSITYOneofthejoysofspendingtimewithachildisseeingtheworldthroughhisorhereyes,whereeverythingisnewandinteresting.Toooftenweseeourworldthroughascratchedandcloudyfilterofexperience,whichmeansweseeonlyhalfthepictureanditisoftendistortedorobscured.Whenwepayattention toour experiencewith the curiosityof a child, seeing it as if for theveryfirsttime,allkindsofpossibilitiestakeshape.

NOTSTRIVINGOneof theparadoxesofmeditation is that ifwedo itwithaspecificexpectationinmind,wearesettingourselvesupfordisappointment.Assoonaswesetourselvesagoal,wefindourselvesmeasuringconstantlytoseehow near or how far we are from achieving it. It is more helpful to remindourselves that the easiestway to get fromA toB is simply to focus onbeinghere,atA.

TRUSTLearningtotrusttheprocessandlettingitunfoldisimportant.Asyoubegintotuneintothebodyandpayattentiontothefeedbackyoufindthere,youwill access your inner wisdom.Trust in yourself and your intuition; if

somethingdoesnotfeelrightforyou,donotdoit.

PATIENCEMindfulnessisnotaquickfix.Youmaynotfeelorseeadifferenceforawhileandittakestimetounlearnthehabitsofalifetime.Thereisnorushandthelearningisinthejourney.

NOTJUDGINGWhenwebegintopayattentiontoourthoughts,thefirstthingwe often notice is how judgmentalwe are—toward others and ourselves.Ourjudgmentscolorallourinteractionsandweoftenpracticeadegreeofmeannessandevenhatredtowardourselvesthatgoesfarbeyondhowwewoulddreamoftreating someone else.However, it is just as unhelpful to criticize our judgingmindandso,instead,wenoticeandacknowledgeitwithcompassionandcomeback to the point of focus. Practicing kindness is as important as practicingmindfulness—mindfulnesswithoutkindnessisnotmindfulness.

ACCEPTANCE This does not mean passive resignation, but instead seeingthingshowtheyreallyare,ratherthanhowwewouldlikethemto

be.Thisthengivesusarealisticstartingplacefromwhichtomoveforward.

LETTINGGOThismeansreleasingtheneedtofixorchangethingstohowyouwant them to be. Our resistance against how things are can cause a lot ofunhappinessandtakesupahugeamountofenergy.Allowingthingstobeas

theyareisaformofacceptance.

Itishelpful,too,toremindyourselfthatyoudon’thavetoenjoyit!Mindfulnesscanmakeourexperiencesricherandmorevivid,butgreaterself-awarenesscan

alsomake us becomemore aware of difficulties in our lives.Developing thisclear-sightedness is important,but it isnotalwaysenjoyable.Lettingourselvesoffthehookintermsofenjoyingourpracticecanmakeadifference.

It also can be useful to view yourpractice as anexperiment,withyouasthe subject. Bring an attitude ofcuriosity to it—what do you notice ifyou do this or if you do that? Yourpractice is a process of

discoveryandexplorationrather

than one of judgment and

evaluation.

POSTURENoneof thepractices in thisbook requirepretzel-likecontortionsof thebody.Whendoingasittingpracticeyoucansiteitheronanuprightkitchenordiningchair, or on the floor. You may experience pins and needles or some minordiscomfortwhilesittingandthisprovidesanopportunitytopracticebeing

withuncomfortablesensations,butyoucertainlydonotwanttobesitting

with any pain. Therefore do experiment with different positions and

props.Youcanevendoa“sitting”practicelyingflatonyourbackifthatfeels

moreappropriateforyou.Themostimportantthingwhenmeditatingisthatyoulisten to your body and make any adjustments needed to the

suggested posture. The attitude you bring to a sitting practice is more

importantthanthepostureitself.

SITTINGONACHAIR

Sitonanuprightkitchenordiningchairandthenbendoverand,whiletouchingyourtoes(orreachingdownasfarasyouareable),wriggleyourbuttockstotheback of the chair and then sit up. You will now be sitting in an upright, yetunsupported,position.Ifyoufeelitisnecessary,youcanplaceasmallcushion behindyour lower back, but youwant to avoid slumping

backintotheseat.Bothfeetshouldbefirmlyplantedonthefloor—youcan

place a cushion underneath the feet for support. It can be helpful to raise theback legs of the chair 1 in (2.5cm) or so off the groundwith small blocks ofwoodorabook.Thishelpstiltthepelviscorrectly.

SITTINGONTHEFLOOR

You can sit cross-legged or kneel onthe floor. Either way your hipsshould always be higher than

yourknees, soyoumayneed to sit

on several cushionsor largebooks toachieve this. If your knees do nottouch the floor, you may want tosupportthemwithcushions,foldedupblankets,orpillows.

If you prefer a kneeling position, sitback on your heels and support thebuttocks with a cushion or ameditation bench. Do experiment,as the height of your support

canmakeabigdifference .Whenyouhavetherightheightandposition,

youwillfeelcomfortableandbalanced.

Whetheryouare sittingona chair, a stool, oron the floor, the lower limbs

shouldbegroundedandsupported. The upper part of the body should

rise out of thewaist—it can be helpful to imagine a silken thread running upfromthebaseofthespine,throughtheback,theneck,andoutofthebackofthehead.Ifthisthreadwaspulled,yourtorsowouldgentlyriseoutofthewaistandyourchinwouldtuckinslightly.Overall,wearelookingforaposturethatis

alertandupright,yetrelaxed.

Your hands shouldbe relaxed and supported—you can clasp them inyour laplightly,orrestthemwithyourpalmsfacedownorup,onyourknees.

Youreyescanbeopenorclosed;iftheyareopen,perhapslookaheadanddownwithasoftunfocusedgaze.Closingyoureyescanbeawayofsinkingdeeperintoyourpractice,butexperimentandexplorethedifferencesyourself.

STANDING

Youcandomanyof the informalpractices in thisbookwhileyouareoutandabout.Whilethereisnoneedtotakeanobviousmeditationstance,it

canbehelpfultobringyourselfintoabalanced,stableposition.So,forexample,ratherthanloungingagainstthebusstop,standwithyourweightevenlyspreadacrossbothfeet.Keepyourkneessoftwithyourtorsorisingoutofyourwaist,sothatyourheadisliftingupwardyetyourshouldersandyourchinarerelaxed.

BECOMINGAWARE

Ourinternalstateofmindoftenreflectsourexternalposture,soif

yourbody is slumped and caving in, yourmindwill often feel contracted andtight.Turnyourattentiontoyoursittingposition.Howareyousitting?Howdoyoufeelemotionally?Experimentwithadjustingyourpostureandnoticinganychanges.Thisisaparticularlygoodexercisetodoatwork,especiallyifyouaresittingatacomputerformuchoftheday.Noticeespeciallyyourshoulders.Aretheytenseanduparoundyourearsorrelaxedandsoft?Becomingawareofyourposturewillbringaboutpositivechanges.

HOUSEHOLDOBJECTSTOSUPPORTYOURPRACTICE:

When sitting on the floor, use a cushion or pillow either to lift yourbuttockssotheyarehigherthanyourhipsortosupportyourknees.Thecushion(s) shouldbe as firmaspossible.Youmayneed several toget

sufficientheight.Ifyoustartsittingonthefloorregularly,youmaywanttoinvestinameditationcushion(azafu)orabench.Stackafewbooksontopofeachotherifyouneedextraheightonameditationbench,orsittingonthefloor,orforsupportingthefeetifyouaresittingonachair.Ayogamat,atowel,orablanketareusefulwhenyouarelyingonthefloor. The body’s temperature can drop quite markedly when you arestill,soitishelpfultohaveablanketorashawltohandwhenpracticing,incaseyoufeelcold.

Mostofusspendmoretimeinourheadsthaninourbodies.Unfortunately,wecannotthinkourwayoutofemotionalupsets,andtryingtodoso

canactuallymakeus feelworse.The practices in this sectionwill help

redressthisimbalance.

Byregularlytuningintothebody—andthiscanbedoneinmanydifferentways—wecangainvaluable feedback in termsofouremotionalandphysicalwell-being. These practices will help develop concentration and provide anopportunitytopracticedirectingthebreathintodifferentpartsofthebody.Theemphasis on the breathwill enable you to begin to use it as an

anchor.Wheneveryourmindwanders(anditwill),youcanusethebreathto

reelyourselfbackintothebodyandthepresentmoment.

Deliberately turning toward somethingwe habitually avoid can release strongemotions,so ifatanypointyoufeeloverwhelmedduringanyof thepractices,please just take a break and stop. You can return to it another time.We arelearning to trust our own inner wisdom and listen to the body,

thereforeifatanytimeanyinstructiondoesnotfeelappropriateforyou,simplyrefrainfromdoingit.Thereisalwaysan“edge”aroundsittingwithdiscomfort,such as an itch, but at no point should you tolerate pain—if necessary, adjustyour position, andalways followanymedical adviceyouhavebeen

given.

MINDFULNESSOFBREATHINGFocusingonthebreathisagreatplacetostartifyouarenewtomeditation.Theinstructionissimple:payattentiontothebreath.

Experimentwithtuningintothebreathatoddtimesduringtheday

whenyouremember(nooneelsewillknowyouaredoingit.)Ifyouwould

like to start practicing more formally, set aside five minutes to sit quietlysomewhereandpayattentiontothebreath.Graduallyextendthelengthoftime,but remember the quality of attention is more important than the

lengthoftimeyousit.

TRYTHIS

Itcanbehelpfultochooseanareaofthebodyinwhichyoufeelthebreathmoststrongly—forexampleinthebelly,thechest,aroundthenostrilsorthelips,andalwaystakeyourattentiontothisplacewhendoingabreathingpractice.Ifyoufinditdifficulttolocateaplace,perhapsplaceahandonyourbellyoronyour

chest,soyoucanfeeltheactofbreathing.

Then,justnoticethesensationsofbreathing—thisisdifferentfromthinkingaboutthebreath.Whatwearedoinghereisfeelingtheexpansionasthechest

andthebellyriseonthein-breath…andnoticingthecontractionasthechestandthebellyfallontheout-breath.

REMEMBER

Weare stayingwith the length of each in-breath, then the length of each out-breath.Wheneverourmindwanders(whichitwill),gentlyescortitbacktothebreathandcontinue.

There are more breath-focused meditations in The Breath and Taking aBreathingSpace.

CLEANSINGTHEBODYWITH-BREATH

This simplepractice is a formof body scan.The easiestway to do it is lyingdown,butyoucould alsodo it sittingor reclining.Hereyouare learningtofocusonanddirectthebreathintoandaroundthebody,aswellas

deliberatelytuningintoawiderawarenessofyourbody.

TRYTHIS

Takeyourattentiontothebreathandfocusonthepartofyourbodywhereyoufeelitmoststrongly—perhapsthebelly,orthechestoraroundthelipsandnostrils…andstaywithyourexperienceofthebreath…breathingin…andbreathingout…feelingthesensationsofbreathing…allowingthebreathto

breatheitself…lettinggoofanyneedtodirectormanipulatethebreathinanyway…breathingin…andbreathingout…supportedandheldbythesurfaceyouarelyingon…restingwiththebreath…breathingin…andbreathingout…

Now,takingyourattentiontothebreath,imagineitissweepingthroughthebody…breathinginthroughthecrownofthehead…fillingthebodywith

breath…andbreathingoutthroughthesolesofthefeet…

Then,breathinginthroughthesolesofthefeet…allowingthebodytofillwithbreath…withlife…withenergy…andbreathingoutthroughthecrownofthe

head…

Continueinthisway,sweepingthebodywithbreath,breathinginandbreathingoutfromtoptobottom.

THEHANDIn thispracticewearepayingattention to thehand—thepartof thebody thatcaresses,touches,grabs,andsoon—andreflectingonwhatitdoesforus

momentbymoment,dayafterday,yearafteryear.

TRYTHIS

Takeyourattentiontooneofyourhands.Inyourmind’seye,justbecomeawareofthehand…thepalm…thebackofthehand…thefingers…theindex

finger…themiddlefinger…theringfinger…thelittlefinger…thethumb.Becomingawareofthelengthofeachfinger…noticethespacesinbetween…inyourmind’seyebecomingawareofthethumbnail…andthentheothernails.

Wearenotlookingforanyparticularsensationsandyoumayhavenoneatall—ifso,thatisyourexperience

now.

Slowlymoveoneofyourfingers.Experimentwithslowlystretchingandbendingthefinger,feelingthe

stretch…noticingthecontraction…

Whatisitlikeifyoubringafingerandthumbtogether?Whatsensationsareyounoticing?Gentlyrubthefingerandthumbbackandforthtogether…movingthemapartandbringingthemtogether…becomingawareofanysensationsoftouch.Playwithmoving…adjusting,bending,stretchingthedifferentfingerson

thehand.Movingthemsingly,movingthemtogether…

Next,expandyourawarenesstothewholehand.Beginrotatingyourhandatthewrist…firstonewayandthentheother…turning…noticingthelimitofthe

turn…andthencomingback…repeatingthemovement.

Whatyoudotodaymaybedifferentfromwhatyoudidyesterdayorwhatyoumaydotomorrow.Wearesimplyinterestedinthehandinthismoment—whatit

cando,whatitfeelslike.

THEFACEItisbesttodothispracticeathomeorsomewhereprivatewhereyouwon’tbedisturbed.Youcando it sittingupor lyingdown.Thepurpose is topractice

tuningintothebody,movingyourattentionandbreatharoundaparticular

area.

TRYTHIS

Closingyoureyes(ifthatfeelsokaytoyou),takingyourattentiontoyourface…justbecomeawareoftheface…perhapsexploringitsboundaries…whereit

beginsandends…

Thenbeginfocusingyourattentiononspecificpartsoftheface…thejaw…thelips…themouth…insidethemouth…thetongue…theteeth…thenose…

Noticetheeyes…theeyeballsrestinginthesocketsoftheskull…protectedbytheeyelids…feelingtheweightoftheeyesrestinghere…

Nowfocusontheforeheadandthetemples…theears…theleftear…therightear…thescalp…inyourmind’seye,massagingthescalpwithawareness.

Allthetimekeepanactiveinterestandcuriosityaboutthisfaceandthesefeatures…thisfaceexactlyasitisrightnow…lettinggoofanyneedorwishtoassumeaparticularexpressionorpose…justallowingthefacetobehereasitis…Noticeifanyjudgmentsariseandiftheydo,perhapsjustnoting“judgingis

here,”beforebringingyourattentionbacktothefacewithkindnessandgentleness.

Simplybewithyourexperience,whateveritmaybe.

SETTLINGINTOTHEBODYI came across this practice in a book called Emotional Healing throughMindfulness Meditation by psychotherapist Barbara Miller Fishman, but it isalsopartofaYogaNidra(abodyscanthathelpstoachieveadeep-sleepstateinyoga.)Itisashortpracticethatisbestdonelyingdown.Ifinditaparticularly

quickwaytogetintothebodyifIamlyingawakewitharacingmind.In

thisbodyscanwemovearoundthebodyinsections.

I find it ishelpful tohaveavisualpicture inmyheadofanoutstretchedbodyand to imagine itbeingsegmented into thedifferentparts (I always

pictureamagiciancuttinghisassistant inhalf!)IusuallydothispracticelyingdownbecauseitisharderformetovisualizewhenIaminasittingposition,butexperimentforyourselfandsee.Theorderdoesnotmatterandyoucanalwaysleaveoutsectionsifyouwishtoshortentheexerciseor repeat ita

coupleoftimesifyoupreferalongerpractice.

Ashortpracticethatisbestdonelyingdown

TRYTHIS

Lyingdownwithyourfeetstretchedoutandfallingawayfromeachother,andyourarmsdownbyyoursides…youreyesclosedifthatfeelscomfortablefor

you…becomeawareoftherightsideofthebody…fromtherightsideofthe

topoftheheadtothetipoftherightfoot…includingtherightarm…Justbecomeawareoftherightsideofthebody,stayingwiththisforafewmoments.

Now,leavingtherightsideofthebody,becomeawareoftheleftsideofthebody…thewholeoftheleftsideofthebodyfromthetopoftheheadrightdown

tothetipoftheleftfoot…holdingtheleftsideofthebodyinawareness…stayingwiththisforafewmoments.

Next,becomeawareofthetophalfofthebody…noticingthetorsofromthewaistupwardandthroughtothetopofthehead…includingboththeleftandrightarms…holdingthetophalfofthebodyinawareness…stayingwiththis

forafewmoments.

Then,leavingthetophalfofthebody,takeyourattentiontothelowerhalfofthebody…becomingawareoftheareabelowthewaist…includingboththeleftandrightlegs…justholdingthelowerhalfofthebodyinawareness…staying

withthisforafewmoments.

Now,becomeawareofthefrontofthebody—soinyourmind’seyeyouarepicturingthefrontofthebody…theface…thechest…thefrontofthearms…thebelly…thefrontofthethighs…theknees…theshins…thefrontofthe

feet…holdingtheentirefrontofthebodyinawareness…stayingwiththisforafewmoments.

Then,leavingthefrontofthebody,shiftyourawarenesstothebackofthebody…thebackofthehead…theneck…theshoulders…theupperback…the

mid-back…thelowerback…thebuttocks…thebackofthethighs...thecalves…theheelsofthefeet…holdingthewholeofthebackofthebodyin

awareness…stayingwiththisforafewmoments.

Now,shiftingyourattention,becomeawareofthewholebodylyinghere…thewholebody…thesumofallitsparts…howevertheymaybe…theentirebody

restinginawareness…

MOVINGATTENTIONAROUNDTHEBODY

Ourattentioncanbeseenasaflashlightthatwecanturnonewaytogetatightlyfocused, narrow beam of light or turn the other way to obtain a wider, morediffusedbeam.Inmindfulnessmeditationweswitchbetweenanarrowfocusofattention,suchasonaparticularpartof thebody,ora

single focus, such as sound, to opening our awarenesswider to

encompassthewholebodyortoreceivewhatevercomesintoour

sphereofattention.Itisimportanttocultivatebothtypesofattention.

TRYTHIS

Youcanpracticenarrowingandexpandingyourbeamofawarenesswiththisbody-focusedexercise,whichisbestdoneathomeorsomewhereyoucanbe

privateandundisturbed.Ifyouarejustfocusingonyourhand,forexample,youcandoitsittingdown.Butifyouaregoingtopracticewithyourwholebody,Iwouldsuggestlyingdownsoyoufeelcomfortable,warm,andsupported.

Youcanmaketheexerciseaslongorasshortasyoulike.Forexample,ashortpracticecouldbeasfollows:

Beginningbyplacingyourawarenessinasingletoe,holditinyourmind’seye…restingyourattentioninthislocation…noticinganysensationsthatmaybepresent(ortheabsenceofsensation).Theactoftuninginisimportant.

Then,expandtoincludeallthetoesononefoot…beingcuriousabouteachindividualtoeandhowitisinthismoment…thenthesoleofthefoot…the

heel…theweightoftheheelandthefoottouchingthesurface.

Eachtime,focustheattentiononthatspecificpartofthebodyandifyourmindgetspulledawaybythoughts(whichitmostlikelywill),justbringingitbackto

yourplaceofattention…

Andthenwidenitoutandexperienceasenseofthewholefoot…holdingthefootinyourmind’seyeandjustbeingawareofit,noticingwhetherthereareanyphysicalsensationsornot…noticinganysenseoftemperature…anyinternalsensations…anyexternalsensations,suchasabreezeorfabrictouchingskin.Ifyouwouldliketo,youcanalsodirectthebreathintothefoot,breathinginand

breathingoutofthefoot—asifthefootwasbreathing.

Youcouldmakeitalongerpracticebystartingwiththetoesononefoot,workingaroundthedifferentareasandthenholdingthewholefootin

awareness…next,lettinggoofthefootandbeginningtomoveupthedifferentpartsoftheleg,followedbyholdingthewholeleg,includingthefoot,in

awareness,perhapsbreathinginandoutofit.

Then,youcouldextendtotheotherleg,thetorso(frontandback),thearms,theneckandheadandthenthewholebody.

STANDINGTALLLIKEAMOUNTAINStandingMountain is a traditional yoga pose that is a quickway ofmentally“coming to sit”—coming to a state of alert relaxed attention. The pose isgroundedintheearththroughthefeet,buthasasenseofupliftin

theupperpartofthebodyandthehead.

ThisisapracticeIoftendowhileIamwaitingforabusoratrain,orstandinginline, as it isagoodwayofpracticingcoming into thebodyatany

time.Itisalsoausefulgroundingexerciseifyouarefeelingworriedornervous,

for example before attending an interview, orwaiting for amedical or dentalappointment.

StandingMountaincanalsobeusedas“punctuation”orapause inmovementpractices,suchaswalkingoryoga.Itcanbedoneatanytimeandanywhereyoucanstand,andnooneneedbeawareyouaredoingit.

Ifyouarestandingfirmandsolid,youwillfeelmorephysicallystable—noticingthe sensationsof contactwith the floor/groundwill takeyouout of yourheadandintoyourbody.

TRYTHIS

Standsoftlywithyourfeetparallelandhip-widthapart,withoutlockingyourknees.Itcanbehelpfultotakeadeepbreathinandthen,asyoubreatheout,let

thekneessoftenslightly.

Yourarmsrelaxedatyoursides,imagineasilkenthreadrunningfromthebase

ofthespine,upthroughthebackandthebackoftheneckandoutthroughthe

crownofthehead…Picturesomeonepullinggentlyonthisthreadsothereisasmallshift,asenseofthecrownoftheheadliftingtotheskyandthechin

relaxingdown.

Youcanextendthepracticebyscanningthroughthebody,perhapsstartingwiththefeet,noticingthesolesofthefeetincontactwiththeearth…noticingthetoes…Aretheyrelaxedorgripping?Justmonitorhowtheyarewithoutanysenseofwantingorneedingthebodytobeinaparticularstate…scanning

throughthefeet,theankles…theshinsandcalves…noticingtheknees…thethighsandupintothetorso…

Nowbecomeawareofthepelvis,thebelly,thelowerback…movingupthespinetonoticetheshoulders…comingroundtothechest…andmovingupthe

neckintotheface,thescalp,thewholehead…

Standtall…grounded,connected,takingastanceofalertattention…

SEEALSOSITTINGLIKEAMOUNTAIN

TIPPeopleoftenmaketheirhipwidthtoobigortoosmall.Tofindyourcorrect hip width, stand with your feet parallel and together. Now,keeping your heels fixed, move both sets of toes outward until theyreachwhatwouldbe“tentotwo”onaclock.Then,bringeachheelintolinewiththetoes.

STANDINGMOVEMENTPRACTICEStandingMountainisthecoreelementofthisstandingmovementpractice.WebegininStandingMountain,weendwithit,andwealsoreturntoitattheendofeachmovement.ByinterspersingperiodsofStandingMountainwithmovement,wecannoticetheeffectthatmovementhasonthebody,aswellas

thedifferencesandsimilaritiesofmovementversusstillness.

Movement practices are an opportunity to become

morefamiliarwiththebody—particularlythebody

in thismoment.Thiswillbedifferent fromhowitwasyesterdayandhowitmaybetomorrow.Honoringthosedifferencesisimportant.Inmindfulmovementpracticeswe are paying attention to physical sensations andbeingcuriousaboutwhathappenstothebody

whenwemove.Wemaynotice thoughtsandemotionsarisingandthesecanbelabeledforwhattheyarebeforecoming back to the body.Wemay do this dance backandforwardfor theentire timeandthat is thepractice.The most important thing when doing mindfulmovementistolistentoyourbodyandhonorits

limitations. Experimentwith the “edge” of resistance

butonnoaccountpushthroughit.

Remember,wehavenogoaltoreach

TRYTHIS

Youcandothefollowingpracticesasindividualposesorstrungtogetherinasequence,dependingonhowmuchtimeyouhaveavailable.

FINDINGYOURCENTER

StartinStandingMountain,withyourarmsatyoursides,keepingthekneessoft,andtakeyourattentiondownintoyourfeet.Becomeawareofyourfeet

connectingwiththeearth…grounded…supported...

Maintainingthatsolidconnectionwiththeground,begintoleanforwardslightlyfromtheankles…comingbacktocenter…thenrepeating…eachtimeexploringthepointwheretheleancouldbecomeafallforward(Icallthis“theedge”offorward.)Ifyouneedto,youcantakeastepforwardtomaintainyourbalance.

Now,ifitfeelsokay,begintoexplore“theedge”ofbackward.Rememberingthatthesearereallysmallmovements,gentlyswayforward,keepingyourlowerlegsandfeetfirmlygrounded…thenswaybackward…inbetween,comingto

center…

Then,begintodothesamethingbutthistimeexploring“theedgeofsideways”…

Alwayscomebacktocenter…perhapsstandingstillforasecondortwowhenyoureachthispositionandexploringwhatbeingcenteredfeelslike.Experimentwiththedegreeofmovement…startingsmall…becominglarger…andthen

comingbacksmallerandsmalleruntilyouarestandingstill.

Throughoutthepracticenoticewhatishappeningwiththebreath…noticingthemusclesinthebodytensingandrelaxing.

Youcangothroughasimilarprocess—usingtheupperbodyalone—whenyoufirstcometosit,byrockingfromsidetosideforafewsecondsbeforesettlingat

yourcenter.

STRETCHANDSIDEWAYSBEND

StartinStandingMountain,then,shiftingyourweighttotheleftsideofthebody,onyournextin-breath,lettherightarmfloatupward.Letitgoasfarasitlikes,followingthelengthofthein-breath,andwhenthisturnsintoanout-

breath,relaxthebody,butkeeptherightarmraisedwhilefeelingtheshoulderdropdown.

Onyournextin-breath…reachingtherightarmuptothesky,feelthestretchdownthewholelengthofthebody,andthenontheout-breathbendtherightarmoverthehead…keepingthebodyuprightasifyouarestandingbetweentwoparallelsheetsofglass.Stayinthispositionforabreathortwo,noticingwhathappenswhenyoubreatheoutandwhathappensinthebodywhenyoubreathein…noticinganythoughtsoremotionsarising…butcontinuallybringingthe

attentionbacktothebody.

Now,onthenextin-breathlifttherightarmbackupsoitisshootingtowardthesky.Breathingoutasyourelaxtheshoulder,thenbreathinginagain...andthenasyouarebreathingout,lettingthearmfloatbackdowntotheside.StayinStandingMountainforabreathortwo,noticingwhatishappeninginthebody,

beforedoingthewholesequenceontheoppositesideofthebody.

BALANCINGPOSE

FromStandingMountain,shiftyourweightovertooneside,liftingtheoppositefoot1–2in(2.5–5cm)offthefloor.Ifitishelpful,youcanbalancetheliftedfootagainstthestandingleg.Itisfinetodothisposestandingagainstawallforextrabalance.Itisalsohelpfultofindastaticspotdirectlyinfrontofyouandgazeatit.Experimentwiththepositionofyourarms—youcanholdthemstretchedoutateachside,orplacethemonyourhips,orbringtheminfrontofyoupalmto

palm.

Asyoubalanceononeleg,noticehowmuchmovementisinvolvedinstandingstill…howbalancinginvolvesaconstantreadjustmentofposition—weoften

needtostartoverasweputafootdownandtakethepositionagain.

ComebackintoStandingMountainwithbothfeetplantedfirmlyontheground.Thenchangelegsanddotheposeontheotherside.EndinStandingMountain.

TWIST

StartinginStandingMountain,withyourfeetparallel,kneessoft,andyourhipsfacingforward,beginturningatthewaisttooneside.Makesureyoukeepyourhipsandkneesfacingforward,evenifthismeansyoudon’ttwistsofar.Youcanfoldyourarmsoneontopoftheotherandleadthemovementwiththeelbow,keepingyourgazefixedonthetipoftheelbow.Then,comebacktocenter…repeatintheoppositedirection…againmakingsurethehipsandkneesstay

facingforward.

Youcanmakethisadynamicmovementbycoordinatingitwiththebreath—experimentwithdoingamovementonanin-breathoranout-breath,and

noticingthedifference.

Dothisslowlyafewtimesbutthen,ifyou’dliketo,letgoofthearmssotheyarehangingatyoursides,andbeginmovingfromsidetoside,graduallyspeedingup…keepingthekneessoftandfacingforward…butlettingthearmsgentlybangagainstthelowerbackasyousoftlytwistatthewaisttooneside,thentheother.

TOFINISH

Attheendofamovementpractice,remaininStandingMountainpostureforamomentandperhapsscan

throughthebodyagainasyoudidatthestart,beforefocusingonthebreathforaminuteortwo.

SITTINGDOWNMOVEMENTPRACTICE

This isashortmovementpractice thatyoucandoatyourdeskorsittingonafirmkitchenordiningchair.Youcando thewhole thingorany sectionon itsown.

In all mindful movement practices weare noticing physical sensations

andarecuriousaboutwhathappenswhenwemove.Wemaynotice

thoughtsandemotionsarisingandthesecanbelabeledforwhattheyarebeforebringingourattentionbacktothebody.Wemaydothisdancebackandforwardall through the practice—that is the practice. The most important thingwhen doing mindful movement is to listen to your body and to

respectitslimitations.Experimentwiththe“edge”ofresistanceifyouwish,

but on no account push through it. There is no competitionwith ourselves orothers.

Movementpracticeisanopportunitytobecomemorefamiliarwiththebody—particularlyinthismoment.Thiswillbedifferentfromhowthebody was yesterday and how it may be tomorrow. Honoring thesedifferencesisimportant.

TRYTHIS

Beginwithyourfeetplantedonthefloor,thenbendingforwardsoyouaretouchingyourtoes,pushthebuttockstothebackofthechairseatandcomeback

uptosit.Youshouldnowbesittingtallandupright.

Experimentwithyoureyesopenand/orclosed.

THEHEADANDTHENECK

Lookingstraightahead(imaginingthatthereisasilkenthreadrunningupthebackofthespine,neckandhead,whichisbeingpulledgentlysothecrownoftheheadrisesandthechinistuckedin)…breatheinandthenasyoubegintobreatheout,turnyourheadveryslowlytotheright…comingbacktothecenteronthein-breath…andthenasyouarebreathingout,turningtheheadtothe

left…breathingincomingbacktocenter.Repeatthisthreetimes.

Takingyourattentiontoyourrightear,holditinawareness,justlettingitfloatdowntowardtheshoulder.

Thereisnoexpectationthattheearwillreachtheshoulder.Feelthestretchdowntheoppositesideoftheneck,thencomebacktocenterandrepeatontheleft

handside.

(There’snoneedfortheshouldertogetinvolved,soifyoufeelittensingormovingupward,justpause,

breathinginandoutafewtimesandlettingtheshoulderfloatbackdown.)

Lookingstraightahead(rememberingthesilkenthread…),justimaginethatthecrownoftheheadisreallyheavy,lettingitnodslowlyforward…leadwiththehead,youreyesareclosed…justletitnodforwardtowardthechestwhileyouarebreathinginandbreathingout…noticingthesenseofcontractionaswellasexpansion.Whenyoufeelasifyouhavegoneasfarasyouwouldliketo,justpausethere,breathinginandbreathingoutforafewroundsbeforecomingback

upasslowlyasyouwentdown.

Withyourheadrelaxedandcentered,imagineyouhaveablobofpaintontheendofyournoseandthatthereisapaneofglassorwalldirectlyinfrontofyou.Beginbypaintingverysmallcircleswithyournose…experimentingwithgoingslowlyandthenfaster,aswellaswiththesizeofthecircle,butalwaysbeing

mindfulofwhatfeelscomfortableandnotmakinganysuddenjerkymovements.Reversethedirection.

THESHOULDERSANDTHECHEST

Sittinguptallinthechair,risingoutofthewaist,claspyourhandsbehindyourbackandpushawayfromthebody…stretch…feelingtheshoulderblades

comingclosertogetherandthechestopening.Relaxandrepeat.

Bringingyourfingertipstoyourshouldersandthentakingyourattentiontoyourelbows,slowlymovetheelbowstothefront,bringingthemtogetherandthenapart…inthesameposition,withthefingersontheshoulders…movingtheelbowsinasmall,gentle,circularpattern,firstonewayandthentheother.

Sittinguptall,withyourhandsclaspedbehindyourhead,keepingthehips,kneesandfeetsquareandfacingforward,twistfromthewaistfirstonewayandthencomebackandgotheotherway.Perhapspauseatthepointwhereyoufeelyouhavegoneasfarasyoucanandjustbreathe…inandout…noticingthe

experience.Repeatthesequencethreetimes.

Againensuringyouaresittinguptall,bringyourelbowsclosetoyourribcagewithyourlowerarmsandhandsoutdirectlyinfrontofyou,palmsupward.Keepingtheelbowstuckedin,breatheoutasyoumovethehandsoutward…

onlygoingasfarasyoucanwithoutmovingtheelbows(andthismaynotbeveryfar)…feelingthestretchandtheopeningofthechest,thencomingbackon

anin-breathandrepeating.Repeatthreetimes.

Sittinguptall,thistimewithyourhandsonyourhips,bringingtheelbowstogetherbehindyou(butwithoutanyexpectationthattheywillevermeet),feeltheshoulderbladesmovingtogether,feelthechestopeningup…Repeatthree

times.

THEHANDS

Manyofusspendadisproportionateamountoftime,whetheritisforworkorleisure,atakeyboard.Itisonlyfairtogiveyourhandsandfingersaregular

workouttocounteractthenegativeeffectsofthis.

Liftingyourrighthand,allowyourwristtogolimp.Letthewristandhandgolooseandfloppy…perhapsgentlyshakingthewristsoithangsdownvertically,

itsweightheavy.

Beginmovingonefingeratatime,asifthefingersaredoingaminiMexicanwave…foldingthemintothepalmandthenextendingthemoutagain.Dothisbothslowlyandfast…experimentingwiththedifference(leavingthethumbout

ofthepicturefornow.)

Then,stretchthethumbtoitsfulllengthandfolditin…repeatafewtimes.

Now,takingtheattentionbacktothewrist,beginrotatingthewristinonedirectionandthenintheother…gettingasfullanextensionasyoucan,butalwaysbeingwisetothelimitationsofyourbody.Thereisnospecificgoal.

Repeatthesequenceontheoppositehand.

FINALLY,SITANDBREATHEWITHAWARENESSOFTHE

WHOLEBODY.

CULTIVATINGBODYAWARENESSDeliberately turning our attention to our physical experience is a way ofcultivatingincreasedbodyawareness,practicingbeingwithphysicalsensations,andcultivatinganattitudeofcuriosityandinterest inourphysical

experience.Ifwepracticethisregularly,wewillfinditeasiertoturntothebody when we are experiencing emotional upset or stuck in a

thinkingrut.

The actionofnoticingwhat is goingon in thebodyoccupies the sameneural“highway”asruminativethought,soturningourattentiontothebodyisawayofdeliberatelyshiftinggears,takingusawayfromthemind

andourthoughts.

Ifwe do this regularly,wewill also become familiarwith our body—what is“normal”forus—andsowillfinditeasiertonoticeanychangesandimbalancessoonerratherthanlater.

TRYTHIS

Findingaspacethatisquietandwhereyouwillnotbedisturbed,sitinthewaythatfeelsmostcomfortableforyou(seePosture)

Takeafewmomentstosettleintoyourseat.Adjustyourpositionandmakesurethelowerpartofthebodyisfirmlygroundedandconnectedtothefloororchairand,atthesametime,riseupoutofthewaistwiththecrownoftheheadliftingtowardtheceilingandyourchintuckedin.Youshouldfeelalertyetrelaxed.

Beginbytakingyourattentiontothebreath.Focusyourattentiononthepartofthebodywhereyoufeelthebreathmoststronglyandrestyourattentionthere…

stayingwiththelengthofeachin-breath…noticingthepauseasthein-breathbecomesanout-breath…andthenstayingwiththeout-breath.Continueinthiswayforafewminutes,simplyexperiencingthesensationsofbreathing,whatevertheymaybeinthismoment.If

judgmentsarise,acknowledgetheirpresenceandfirmlyescorttheattentionbacktothebreath.

Noticeifthebreathisdeeporshallow,rapidorslow,butlettinggoofanyneedtobebreathinginaparticularway.Justletyourselfbreathewithouttryingtochangeit(althoughitmaychange,andthat’sokay)…simplybeingcuriousaboutyourbreathin

thismoment.

Afterawhile,expandyourawarenesstoincludethewholebody.Becomeawareofthepointsofcontactwith

thefloor(thesolesofthefeetoryourbuttocks)…noticingsensationsofweight,contact,hardness,

softness,texture…Perhapsscanupwardthroughthebodyfromthefeettothecrownofthehead.Whatdo

younotice?

Now,settleintoanawarenessofthebody.Youmaybestronglyawareofthebreathorperhapsofphysicalsensationsthatarise,withthebreathinthe

background.

Theattitudeswearetryingtocultivateareonesofcuriosity,interest,andfriendliness.Explorethebodyasifitisanewfriendthatyouwanttogetto

knowalittlebetter.Whatareyoudiscoveringtoday?

Deliberatelyturningourattentiontoourphysicalexperienceisa

wayofcultivatingincreasedbodyawarenessandanattitudeof

curiosity

Ifaparticularsensationstartscallingforyourattention,youhavechoiceofwhattodo:

★Youcandeliberatelyfocusinonthesensationandexploreit…Whatisit

like?Whereexactlyisit?Isitchangingorconstant?Howwouldyou

describeit—throbbing,itching,pounding,stabbing…?Ifitwereacolor,

whatwoulditbe?Whathappenswhenyoupayattentiontothissensation?

Gatherinformationabouttheexperienceratherthananalyzingit.

★Youcanturnyourattentiontothebreath,usingitasananchorforyour

attention.Everytimeyouarepulledawaybythephysicalsensations,simply

comebacktothebreath(andyoucandothisoverandoveragain.)

★Youcandirectthebreathintotheareaofdiscomfort,imaginingthatyou

arebreathinginandoutfromthisplace.

★Youcanmakeadecisiontoadjustyourposition,butdosomindfully,

ratherthanautomaticallyreactingtothephysicalsensation.Whenyouneed

tomove,makeadeliberatedecisiontodosoandpayattentiontotheprocess

ofmovingandsettlingintoanewposition.

REMEMBER

We never want to sit through pain. We can practice being with

discomfort, butwedo sowithkindness and compassion.Sowemightstay

withanuncomfortablesensation foronlyasecondor two,butgradually

wemayfindwecanallowittobetherelongerwithoutreactingtoit.

We always work at a pace that feels right for us—andwhatwe do today

may be different from what we did yesterday or what we will do

tomorrow. Practice “beginner’smind,” noticingwhat is there rather thanwhatwethinkshouldbethereorwhatwewanttobethere.

Whenyounoticetheurgetomoveandendthepractice,tryexploringthisfurther—can you feel it as a sensation in the body? Play with experiencing the

impulsewithoutactingonitsdemands.Whatdoesthisfeellike?

Andwhenyouwanttofinish,makeadeliberatedecisiontodosoandendwith

a moment or two of focusing on the breath before expanding the

awarenessbackouttoincludethebodyandyourimmediateenvironment.

Playwithexperiencingtheimpulsewithoutactingonitsdemands

WALKINGWITHNOWHERETOGOUsuallywhenwewalkitiswithasenseofpurpose—wemaybeexercisingthedog, going to work, or accompanying the children to school. Whatever thereasonwerarelywalkjustforthesakeofwalking.

Walkingpracticeisawayofmovingoutofthemindandintothebodyanditisagoodchoiceifyouarefeelingrestlessoranxious,andsittingfeelsliketoomuchof a challenge. Also if you are feeling sleepy, you aremore likely to remainawakewalkingratherthansitting.

So often when we are walking ineveryday lifewearegoing fromA toB on autopilot. Therefore in walkingpractice we tend towalk slowly inorder to remind ourselves that

we are doing something

different. It is not that walking

practice isholyorsacred, it issimplythatitiseasiertobepresentwhenwechangethewaywenormallywalk.

You can do this practice at home orevenoutside if there is somewhereprivatewhereyouwill beunobserved.Weoften do this practice in a circle, as this emphasizes thatwe are walking

without any destination in mind, but your “circle” could just as easily

consistofanelongatedoval ifyoudon’thavea largeamountofspace.Doingthispracticebarefootcanhelpstrengthenthesenseofconnection

betweenthefootandthefloororground.

TRYTHIS

BegininStandingMountainpose,withthefeetparallelandhip-widthapart.Yourarmscanberelaxedbyyoursides,orfoldedorclaspedinfrontorbehind

you.Youreyesshouldbeopen.

Feelyourfeetconnectingwiththefloor,theweightofthebodybeingheldandsupported…connectingwiththebreath…becomingawareofstanding…

Next,takingyourattentiondownintoeitherfoot(itdoesnotmatterwhich),shiftyourweightontotheoppositelegasyoubegintoslowlypeeltheheeloffthe

floor.Feelthetransitionofweight…liftingthefoot…shiftingit…andplacingitdown…noticingthemovement,thesenseofweight,theexperienceofthefoot

touchingthefloor…

Becomeawareofthedifferentpartsofthebodyinvolvedintheprocessofputtingonefootinfrontoftheother…

Then,switchtheattentiontotheotherfootandgothroughtheprocessagain…lifting…shifting…placing—youcanrepeatthesewordssilentlytoyourselfif

youfindithelpful.

Everytimeyourmindgoesforawalk,justbringitbackandplaceyourattentionbackonthefeet.Youwillprobablyhavetodothatoverandoveragain,andthat

isokay.

Whenyoucometoastop,assumeStandingMountainforamomentortwo,andperhapsscanthroughthebodyandnoticehowitisnow.

We all want to be happy, but we often mistake a rush of excitement forhappiness. Well-being is more of a sense of contentment,

peacefulness,andconnectionwithaplaceandpeople.Wecanfeela

sense of connection with the world and people around us even when we aresufferingfromillnessandexperiencingdifficulties.

The practices in this section focus on paying attention to ordinary

activities inourdaily lives—such as taking a shower, cleaning our teeth,

washingthedishes,ordrinkingteaorcoffee.Thesearethekindofactivitiesthatwedorepeatedlyand,assuch, theyslide intoobscurity,eachmerging into thenext, losing its unique identity. Oftentimes we are on automatic pilot to thedegreethatwelookbackandhavenorecollectionof theprocessofgettingupandgoingoutofthedoor.Inthiswaywelosethemomentsthatmakeupourlifeandoncelost,theyaregoneforever.Bypayingattentiontotheseregular

activities, we can reclaim the lost minutes of our day, and by

connecting with our experience during these activities, we can connect moredeeplywithourlife.

Wecanalsoreconnectwiththeworldaroundus—bynoticingthesky,theearthbelowour feet,and thepeoplearoundus.Lookingbeyondourselves,wecangain a wider perspective on our own life and our place on this

planet.

MINDFULEATINGWhen Iwas small, Iused toeat really slowly.However,going toboarding

school changed all that; there, if youwanted secondhelpings, youhad to be

quickoffthemarkandmealtimeswereatimeforsocializingratherthan

for savoring the foodyouwereeating.Theconsequencewas that Isoongotinto the habit of eating quicklywithout payingmuch attention to

thefood.

Thestomachtakesabout20minutestoletthebrainknowthatwearefull,soifweeattooquickly,thatmessagearrivesafterwehavealreadyeatentoomuch.Inaddition,ifweeatfast,wedon’tsavorthefoodproperlybecauseit

isnotinourmouthlongenoughforustobefullyawareofthetexturesand

the changes in taste. This also applies when we combine eating with otheractivities,suchastalkingorwatchingtelevision.

Bringingmindfulnesstoeatingalsoremindsushowordinarymeditationcanbe—itreallyiswithinthereachofeveryoneofus.

TRYTHIS

Mindfuleatingisbestdoneinsilence,althoughyoucandoitwithothersiftheyremainsilent,too.Maintainingsilenceinthispracticeremindsusthatweare

doingsomethingdifferently—inthiscase,thatweareeatingamealinawayweusuallydon’t.

Silenceisoftenlikean“on”switch.Withouttheinterruptionsoftalkingand

listening,wenaturallypayattentiontowhatweareeating,andaswepay

attentionweslowdownaccordingly.Wenoticehowthebodyreactsinanticipationofthenextspoonful.Wechewourfoodratherthanswallowit

automatically.Perhapswefeelthestomachexpandingandbecomingfullerwitheverymouthful.Wepausebetweenmouthfuls.Weareawareofthecrunchytextureofthiscarrot;thejuicinessofthattomato;thedelicateflavorofthisspice,thestrongtasteofthatherb.Webecomeawareofwhatweareeating.

BRINGCURIOSITYANDEXPLORATIONTOTHEACTOF

EATING:

★Whatdoyousee?

★Whatcanyousmell?

★Whatdoesitfeellike?

★Whatcanyouhear?

★Whatcanyoutaste?

As webecome aware of what we are putting into our mouths we

begin tomakedeliberatechoices. Ifwearefocusingontastingourfood,

wewant it to taste as good as it can be.Webegin noticinghowwe feel

aftercertainfoodsandnaturallygravitate toward those thatgiveusenergy

ratherthanmakeusfeelsluggish.Also,webecomeawareofthepointof

choicewhenweare reaching forsomething—thisgivesus time topauseand

makeaconsciousdecisionaboutwhatwearegoing toeat, rather

thaneatingmindlessly.

Mindfuleatingremindsushowordinarymeditationcanbe

DRINKINGTEAOftenwhenwe take timeout tosit downandhaveacupof teaor

coffee it is not the peaceful interlude we had anticipated but rather an

opportunitytothinkaboutour“ToDo”listortoreplaysomeslightorhurtthatwehavereceivedordoledout.

Vietnamese meditation teacher Thich Nhat Hahn suggests drinking tea to

drinktea(andofcourseitcanbeappliedtoanydrink.)

TRYTHIS

Sittingdown,bewithyourcupoftea.Exploretheteawithyoursenses…feelingtheheatofthecupagainstyourhands…drinkinginthescentoftheleaves(perhapsexperimentwithherbalteas)…noticingthecoloroftheliquid…

perhapstheoddleaffloatingaround…

becomingawareofthemovementofbringingthecuptoyourlips,noticinganyphysicalresponseinanticipation…experiencingthetaste…noticingwhether

thereisanahhofpleasureorashudderofdistaste(andrememberingthatwearenottryingtohaveaparticularexperience,insteadwearejustbeingwiththis

experience)…

Wheneveryourmindgetspulledawaybythoughts(whichitwill),justnoticingwhereyouhavegoneandthencomingback,kindlyandgentlytothebodyand

thesensationsyoufelt.

REALLYDRINKYOURTEA.

WHOAREYOUSHOWERINGWITH?Mostofusspendmuchofourtimethinkingofthepastorthefuture,

therebypayingnoattentiontothepresent.Constantlygoingoveryour“ToDo”list,orworryingabouthowyoucouldhavedonethingsdifferently,keepsthe

bodyinastateofvigilanceand,sometimes,anxiety.

TRYTHIS

Whenyoushowerinthemorning,takeamomentortwotonoticewhohas“joined”you…Whoareyouthinkingabout—perhapsitisyourboss,orcolleaguesatwork,maybeitissomeoneyouaregoingtoseelaterthatday,orperhapsitissomeoneyoutalkedtoyesterday.It

mightbeyourpartner,yourchildren,yourparents,yournext-doorneighbor…Howmanypeopleareinthe

showerwithyou?

Then,beginfocusingonthephysicalsensationsofshowering…thewaterrunningoffyourskin…thetemperatureofthewater…thesoaplatheringup

betweenyourfingers.Noticewhenyouexperienceasensationofdelightorwhentheremightbeafeelingofpushingawayordislike.Thereisnorightwaytoshowerandwhetherweareinvigoratingourselvesfirstthinginthemorning,simplyshampooingourhair,orcoolingoffafterahotday,allwe

aredoingispayingattentiontotheactoftakingashower.

TIP Identifying who turns up in the shower regularly may give yousome helpful feedback on where your preoccupations are at any onetime.

DOINGTHEDISHESTODOTHEDISHES

Meditation teacherThichNhatHahndescribes“washing thedishes inorder towash the dishes”—that is,doing an activity thatmight be considered

boringandgiving it your full attention. ThichNhatHahn says that too

oftenwerushthroughtheactionofwashingthedishessolelytogettotheendresult(cleandishes)andperhapstothenrewardourselveswitharelaxingcupoftea. Yet when we sit down to drink the tea, we do so without any sense ofenjoymentaswehavealreadymovedonourattentiontothenextthing.

When we focus on what we are doing, we often discover an

interestinit. Ihavefound, too, thathowIapproach theactivity informsmy

relationship with it. If I am forced or feel obliged to do something, I feelresentful and resistant to it.But if Imakeaconsciouschoice todoan

activity—evenifitisnotsomethingIwanttodo—Iamapproachingitfroma

differentperspectiveandwhathappensnextisaffectedbythischange.

Youcanbringasimilar,deliberateawarenesstothoseactivitiesthatyoudoregularlywithoutpayingattention—forexample,cleaningyourteeth,gettingdressed,shaving,andsoon.Whenyouhavedonetheseactivitiesso many times, you lose interest in them and tend to “zone out.” Tobreakthishabit,dothemdifferently.Perhapsslowdownorchangeyourroutine—for example, if you usually start brushing your teeth at thefront, trybeginningat theback (yourdentistwillappreciate this!)Useyoursensestoexploretheactivity.Youdon’thavetospendmuchlongerthan you usuallywould, but by doing the activity differently, you can

reclaimlostminutesofyourdayandlosthoursofyourlife.

TRYTHIS

Chooseahouseholdactivitythatyounormallyfinddull.Itcouldbewashingthedishesortakingoutthegarbage…oranythingsimilar.

Takeamomenttopayattentiontowhatyouarefeeling…anysensationsinthebody?Anystiffness,tension,ortightness?Whatthoughtsarepresent?Arethereanyemotionsarising?Noticewhateverispresentandacknowledgeit,mentally

saying,“Iseeyou.”

Next,makeadeliberatedecisiontodothechosenactivity,evenifyoudon’twantto,andacknowledgethechoiceyouaremakingdespitenothavingany

expectationofenjoyingit.

Then,carryouttheactivity…alwayspayingattentiontosensationsfeltinthebody.Noticeanyemotionsandanystoriesyoumightbetellingyourself.

Wheneveryounoticeasenseofwantingtobesomewhereelseordoingsomethingdifferent,justbringyourselfbacktothismoment,thisactivitynow.

Youdon’thavetoenjoytheactivity,justbepresentinit.

Afterwardreflectonyourexperience.

SPORTSANDLEISUREACTIVITIESManysportsmenandwomenareusingmindfulnessastheyfindithelpswith

concentrationandfocus.Ihaveintroducedmindfulnessintomanyareasof

my life and the rewards have often been unexpected. Here is an

example that illustrates the benefits, as well as providing guidelines forintroducingmindfulness into a sport, but the principles can be applied to anyleisureactivity.

RUNNING

I took up running after readingDannyDreyer’sChiRunning and I realized Icouldusemindfulnesstoturnrunningintoameditationpractice. In

ChiRunning,thefocusisonthebodyanditsposture,noticingbodyalignmentand making adjustments to prevent injury (which, incidentally, also increasesspeed.) The emphasis is on a gradual process and on starting from

whereyouarenow(evenifthisisnotwhereyouwouldliketobe.)AlthoughIamarelativebeginner—andaslowoneatthat—Inowloverunning.IlovethesenseofcommunityIreceivefromrunninginLondon’sHydeParkandseeingthe same faces from time to time; the city is no longer anonymous. I feel

connectedtothecity:passingtheKing’sTrooponthewaytotheChanging

of the Guard, tourists scratching their heads as they puzzle over a map, themarathonrunnerspoundingouttheirtraininghours.Ilovefeelingtheweatheronmyfaceandexperiencingtheseasonschanging.Ienjoyseeingwhatmybodyiscapable of and, although I am slow, Iwork the “edge” ofwhat I can do, andrecognize that every “running” day is different from the one

before.Ihavelearnedtheimportanceoflisteningtomybodytoavoidtherisk

ofinjuringmyself.

TRYTHIS

Payingattentiontoyourexperiencemeanspayingattentiontowhatisarisingintermsofsensationsfelt,thoughts,andemotions.Howareyoudoingyourchosenactivity?Areyougivingyourselfahardtimebecauseyouarenotrunningfast

enoughorhaven’tproducedamasterpieceorbecauseyouhavedroppedastitch?Whatemotionsarearisingasyoudothisactivity?Whatsensationsareyou

feelinginthebody?Becuriousaboutyourexperience.

Whenwedoanyactivitymindfullyweletgoofanyattachmenttoaparticularoutcomeandinsteadfocusontheprocess.Paradoxically,lettingourselvesoffthehookintermsofachievingaparticulargoaloftenmeanswearemorerelaxedandthusabletohaveadifferentexperiencewithmorefavorableresults.But

moresignificant,perhaps,isthatwewillalmostcertainlyhavehadaricherandmorefulfillingexperienceandbemoreawareofwhatisgoingoninourbody,

whichishelpfulbothintermsoftechniqueandinjuryprevention

Whynotexperiment?Perhapsdoyourchosenactivityasusualonedayand another day do it with mindfulness. Reflect on and record yourexperiences on both occasions. What can you learn from yourobservations?

PREPARINGAMEALPaying attention to food while we are preparing it is a way of turning a

choreintoasensoryexperience.Thefollowingpracticeisbestdonewith

freshfoodsthatfeedthesenses—particularly,sightandsmell—suchas

saladingredients.

TRYTHIS

Youcanbeginthispracticewhenyouareoutshopping,choosingitemsforyoursalad.Noticethecolorsofthevegetablesandfruitpiledupnexttoeachother.Separatethedifferentsmells…forexample,noticethesharptangoffreshherbs.Feelthedifferenttextures.Noticeanysenseofmovingtoward“Mmmm,Ilikethese…”versusasenseofresistanceorpushingawayoffoodsyoulikeless“Yuk…Idon’tlikethese,”anddoingthisinthecontextofnoticingwhatthesedifferentstatesfeellikephysicallyratherthanjudgingthateitheroneisgoodor

bad.

Whenyouarereadytoprepareyourfood,focusallyourattentiononwhatyouaredoing.Turnoffthetelevisionortheradio,avoidtalkingwithothers,andgive

yourundividedattentiontopreparingthefood.

Asyouchop,cut,slice,anddice,openupthesensestotheexperience.Wheneveryourmindwanders,simplynoticewhereithasgoneandescortit

back.

Prepareyourmealwithaspiritofcreatingafeastofart…mixingcolors,

textures,tastes,andsmellstogether.

THEN,SITDOWN,EAT,ANDENJOY.

GIVINGTHANKSBecomingawareofallthatisgoodinourlivesisawayofcultivatingpositivefeelingsofwell-being.Wecanextendthankstowardthosepeoplewho

have influenced us in a positive way. This might include parents,

teachers,andfriends,aswellasdoctors,nurses,thepersonwhohelpedyoufindsomethinginthestore,andthestrangerwhogaveyoudirectionswhenyouwerelost.Thispracticeisawayofconnectingwiththosepeople—knownand

unknown—who have done you a service in someway andwho deserve yourthanks.

TRYTHIS

Youcandothispracticesomewhereprivate,oronatrainorabus.Sitcomfortablyandbringtomindsomeoneinyourlifetowhomyoufeelgratitude.Perhapstheyhavedonesomethingspecificforyou,orhavesupportedyou,ormadeadifferenceinyourlife.Picturethispersonand,openingyourheart,sendthemwishesofkindnessandthanks,asyouacknowledgeyourgratitudefortheirpresenceinyourlife.Youmaymakeupyourownphrasesoruseonessuchas:

“Thankyou”or“Thankyoufor…(youfillintheblank)”or“Thankyouforbeingapartofmylife.”

Thenbringtomindanotherpersonanddothesamething.Extendthepracticetoasmanypeopleasyoulike,accordingtotheamountoftimeyouhave.

KeepaGratitudeJournalandeachnightjotdownashortlistofanythingor

anyoneyoufeltgratefulforthatday.Keepitsimpleandspecific.Thiscanbea

powerfulpracticethatconnectsustothemanysmallthingsinlifeforwhichwecanbegratefulfor.

SPACIOUSSKYAsachildIwouldlieflatonmybackonthegrassandwatchthesky,and

thecloudsmovingoverhead.Ifeltthecontactwiththeearth—awarmth—

as well as the scratchiness of the grass touching my bare skin. I rememberexperiencing a connection with the earth, but at the same time

feelingasenseofthespaciousnessoftheskyandoftheuniverse

beyond.

TRYTHIS

Eithersit,stand,orliedownsomewhereoutsidewhereyouhaveagoodviewofthesky.(Itdoesnotmatterifattheedgesbuildingsortreescreepin.)Takingafewminutestogroundyourself,feelasenseofconnectionwiththeearththroughthefeet,buttocks,andanyotherpointsofcontact.Noticethesensationsofbeing

supported.

Turningyoureyestotheskyabove,openyourvisiontoreceivewhateverpassesacrossit…clouds…airplanes…vaportrails…birds…Noticeifthemindis

pulledawayand,ifso,atthatmomentofawareness,bringitbacktothesenseofconnectionwiththegroundandthespaciousnessoftheskyabove.Open

yourselfuptothesky…thisskythatcontinuesunbrokenacrosslandandsea,countriesandcontinents…thisskythathasnoboundaries,thatisnever-ending.

Butalsotrytomaintainasenseofconnectionwiththeearththroughout.

OPENINGUPTOTHEUNIVERSEInourlight-pollutedworldtherearefewchancestoappreciatethevastness

ofatrulydarknightsky.Theboundariesofourworldcan feel smalland

contracted. When neighborhood lights blaze, highlighting differences andmarkingborders,theboundariesofourworldareemphasized.

TRYTHIS

Toconnectwithawiderworldseizeanyopportunityyoucantosit,orbetterstill,tolieonthegroundandlookdirectlyupintothenightsky.

Feeltheearthbeneathyou…holdingandsupportingyou…breathingin…breathingout…allowingyourselftobeheldandsupported…groundedinthis

earth…safeinthismoment…yetspinninginthevastness.

Breathingin…breathingout…Expandyourawarenesstoincludewhatevercomesintoyourlineofsight…thelightsofaplane…ablinkingsatellite…

lettinggoofanystoriesorthoughtsthatmightbearisingaboutthem.

Breathingin…breathingout…Expandyourawarenessfurthertoincludethestars…theplanets…thegalaxies…breathingin…breathingout…Soakinthe

darknightofspace…batheinthestarlight.

Breathingin…breathingout…Feeltheearthbeneathyou…breathingwiththeearth…breathingin…breathingout…connectingwiththeground…connectingthroughtime…connectingacrossthegalaxy…connectingwiththeuniverse…

atonewiththisearth.

“SEEING-DRAWING”In my experience there are many links between drawing and

meditation. To draw accurately you have to see what is actually there—not

whatyou think is there—youpayattention to thesubjectand really look.Andthemoreyoulook,themoreyousee.Ifyoucanletthecriticalmindfall

away, you can enter amodeof beingwhere thedrawingdraws itself and

there isnosenseof“I,” just linesorshapesthatinterrelate.Wequickly

realizethateverything,howeverdullitmightseematfirstglance,isworthy

ofourinterest,andthrough“seeing-drawing”everythinghasabeautyallof

itsown.

TRYTHIS

Youdon’tneedtohaveanydrawingexperiencetotrythisexerciseinBlindContourDrawingdevelopedbyKimonNicolaides.Pickupapencilandapieceofpaperandfindsomethingtodraw—acrumpleduptissue,afeather,acomplex

flower(themorecomplicatedthebetter.)

Positionyourselfsothepaperisonthetableandyourdrawinghandisoverit,butyourheadisturnedawayandyouarelookingatyourobject,whateverthat

maybe.

Beginbylookingattheobjectbeforesettlingyourgazeononeofitsedges,andvery,veryslowly,moveyoureyealongthatedgeandatthesametimemovethepencil.Don’tliftyourpenciloffthepaper.Don’tworryaboutwhatthepencilis

actuallydoinganddonotturnandlookatthedrawing.

Continuedoingthisforaslongasyoucan—aminimumoffiveminutesifpossible(youcansetatimerifyoulike)—butideallylonger.Don’tturnyourheadandlook,justkeeptheeyeandthehandmovingslowly,asifyouwereanantcrawlingalongthesurface,feelingtheupsanddowns,thetwistsandturnsof

theedge.

Youcannotdothisexercisetooslowly.Whereveryoureyefollowsanedge,yourpencilwillfollow.Whenyouhavefinished,your“drawing”willlooknothingliketheobject,butyouwillhaveexperiencedseeingtheobjectinatotallynew

way.

TRYTHIS

Thissecond“seeing-drawing”practiceissimilartothefirst,butthistimewearegoingtoshiftourattentionbackandforwardbetweenthepaperandtheobject.

Beginwithasimpleobject,suchasaleaf.Settleintoyourdrawingposition,pickupyourobjectinyourhand,andjustgazeatit.Lookandpayattentiontothe

object.Afterafewminutes,placeitonyourpaper,closeyoureyes,andvisualizeit.Holdingyourpencilinyourhandreadytomakeamark,picturetheobjectin

yourmind’seye.

Openyoureyesandlookoncemoreatyourobject.Lookandsee,andbeginmovingyourpencilasyoumoveyoureyes.Yourpencilisanextensionofyoursenses—itmovesasifyouaretouchingtheobject,followingitscontours,

dippingintoitshollows,twistingandturningacrossandaround.

Youareonlydrawingwhatyoureyesees.Letgoofanyjudgingofwhatyouaredrawing.Whenyourattentionwanders,stop.Onlymovethepencilwhenyour

eyeismovingovertheobject.

BEINGWITHTHEGOODOurevolutionarysurvivalmechanismisprimedtorememberbadexperiencessothey serve as warnings for the future, whereas pleasant experiences serve nosuch purpose and thus are discarded.Manyofusalso indulge inblack-

and-whitethinking.Wecatastrophize: “I’ve had a terrible day,”we say,

tarringthewholedaywithnegativity,whentherealityisthateachdayis

madeupofamultitudeofexperiences—positive,negative,andneutral.

Ifwe can start topayattentionandnotice, particularlywhenwe havea

positiveexperience,andhold thatexperience inourbeingfor twoor three

seconds, our memory will then “bank” it rather than let it slide away intooblivion. An additional benefit is that noticing a positive experience as ithappensmakesourlifefeelricher.

TRYTHIS

Makeanintentiontonoticeanypleasantexperiencesyouhavetoday.Thesearegoingtobemainlysmallthings,suchasnoticingtheclean,sharpsmellofairwhenyouleaveastuffyroom;hearingachildlaughorafavoritesong;seeingapleasingarrangementofcolors,andsoon.Itwillbedifferentforeachoneofus.

Whenyoubecomeawareofapleasantexperience,firstnoticewhatitfeelslikeinthebody.Doesitfeeltight,contracted,looseoropen?Ifyouwereaskedtodescribeit,whatwordsorpictureswouldyouuse?Whatthoughtsdoyou

notice?Whatemotionsarepresent?

Remember,wearenottryingtocreatepositive

experiences.Wearesimplypayingattentiontoany

pleasantexperiencesthatregularlyoccurbutthatweusuallyignoreorquicklyforget.

ALLTHATISRIGHTWITHMECulturally,wetendtofocusonwhatiswrongwithus—whatwecan’tdo,whatwewanttoimproveorchange,andsoon.Whatifwedidsomethingtotallydifferentanddeliberatelynoticedhowmuchisrightwithus?

Thispracticecanbeaslongorasshortasyoucaretomakeit.Youcoulddoitsittingorlyingdown,orevenwhilewalking.

TRYTHIS

Takeamomentortwotofocusonthesensationsofbreathing,connectingwiththegroundthroughyourfeetorbuttocks…comingintoyourbody.

Startwiththemostobviousthings—thethingswetakeforgranted—thefeetthatcarryus,ourhands,oursight,ourhearing,oursenseoftaste.

Itcanbehelpfultoscanthroughthebody…startingwiththefeetandthenmovingupward,makingitasdetailedorasgeneralasyouwish.

Asyoufocusyourawarenessoneachpartofthebodyinturn,noticeanythoughtsoremotionsarisingaroundit.Evenifthebody’sabilitytofunctionislessthanperfect,ortheappearanceisnotasyouwouldlikeittobe,justnotice

whatyoucandowithit,howevermodestthatmightbe.

Alwaysstartwiththesimplestofthingsthatyoucando,suchasessential

skills that you use everyday. Through this practice, we are opening up to thepossibility that there ismuch that is goodor even just okay in our

lives,evenwhenthingsbecomedifficult.

Meditating is often perceived as a solitary pursuit. However, practicingmindfulnessmeditationcandomuchtoenhanceyourrelationships

withfamily,friends,andcolleagues.

Mindfulness helps usseemoreclearly our patternsof behavior and

thinking, andoncewehave seen themandbrought them intoour awareness,

we are better placed to change them. So, taking the time to practice

skills thatwill help us to be less reactive andmore responsive, less distractedandmorepresent,canonlybebeneficialtothosewithwhomwehavecontact.

The practices in this section are about cultivating better relationships: withpeople,oursurroundings,andmostimportantly,withourselves.Ifwecannotshowkindnessandcompassiontoourselves,howcanwepossibly

showit tootherpeople?TheLovingKindness practices help redress this

balance.

Weareallconstantlyinvolvedinrelationshipswithothers,whetherwithlovedonesorwithpassingstrangersinthestreet,andsoitisworthreflectingthat

every interactionwe have has an effect, and that these effects ripple

outward to touchmanypeople.Throughmindfulnesspracticeswecanwork

to make our interactions have a more positive effect, both on

ourselvesandothers.

YOUANDYOURBABYPracticingmindfulness while you are pregnant can be particularly helpful. Atthis time your body is going through all kinds of changes, both

internally and externally, and you are likely to be thinking about the

future, which can be quite stressful. Practicing mindfulness of breathing in

advanceofthebirthmaybehelpful,too.

Thispracticeisagoodwaytoconnectwithyourbabyandyourbody.

TRYTHIS

Liedownorsitinacomfortableandsupportedposition,andtakeyourattentiontothebreath.Takeafewmomentstofocusonthepartofthebodywhereyou

feelthebreathmoststronglyandjustfeelthesensationsofbreathing.

Then,placeonehandonyourbellytoconnectwithyourbabyandtheother

overyourheart,andtakeyourattentiontothepalmsofyourhands.Feelthesensationsoftouchingbareskinorcloth,becomingawareoftemperature…ofwarmthor

coolness…andalsoofanysensationsofmovementorvibration…

Rememberthatyouarenotsettingouttofeelanythingandthereisno

expectationoffeelinganythingspecific,suchasyourownorthebaby’s

heartbeat,butratherthisisjustaprocessofconnectingwitheachother.

Ifyouwouldliketodothispracticewithapartner,youcansitorliesidebysideandeachplaceonehandoveryourheartandtheotheroveryourpregnantbelly.

PARENTINGPRACTICEParents often struggle more than most to find time for formal practice, butluckilychildrenpresentendlessopportunitiesforinformalpractice.

Whether we are faced with a crying baby in the middle of the night or arecalcitrantteenager,parentscanfeelfrustratedandangry,aswellasasenseoffailure. It is inmoments like these thatpracticingmindfulnesscanbeof

benefittobothyouandyourchildren.

TRYTHIS

Inmomentsofdifficultystopandpause.Thiscanbealiteralstopping(whichmighthelppreventanautomaticresponse)orametaphoricalone,buttheeffect

isthesame.

Pauseandcometothebody,takingyourattentiontoanysensationsyoufeel,beingcuriousaboutwhatisarisingandwhere,butlettinggoofanyneedto

analyze“why.”

Next,noticewhatemotionsarearising—andthereareoftenmorethanone.Forexample,angermaybemaskingfear,sotakeafewmomentsrepeatedlytoask

yourself,“Whatishere?”andnameit.

Then,becomingawareofthestoriesyouaretellingyourself—the“badparent,”the“failingchild,”andsoon)...acknowledgeexactlywhatyouarefeelingrightnow,evenifitfeelsinappropriate,politicallyincorrect,oryoufeelbadthatin

thismomentyoureallydislikeyourchild.

Behonestaboutwhatisarising,acknowledgeitspresenceandbreathewithit,allowingthebreathtofillthebodyfromthetopofyourheadtothetipsofyour

toes.Letthewholebodybreathe.

Allowyourselftofeelyouremotionswhileyouarebreathing,andacknowledgeyourloveforyourchildinspiteofpresent-momentfeelings.Allowany

conflictingfeelingstoco-exist,supportedbythebreath.Acknowledgeyourvulnerability,yourfrailty,yourbestefforts,andagain,yourloveforyourchild.

RINGINGTELEPHONEThesoundofa ringing telephonecanconjureupmanyemotions,

dependingonwhatisgoingoninourlives—particularlyif,say,wearewaitingtoheartheresultofmedicaltestsorajobinterview.

Itisimportanttorealizethatthesoundofaphonemayunleashachain

reaction of thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations in us, and

whatishappeninginternallywillinfluencehowwereacttowhatwehearfromthecaller.

Ifwecanbringourselvesintothepresentmomentbeforeweanswerthephone,becomingawareof itseffectandknowing thatweare feelingaparticularwaymay help us respond to the call in a measured manner rather than reactingautomatically.

Atonetimeoranother,wehaveallexperiencedtheannoyingsoundofan unanswered telephone—perhaps in the office or while on publictransport. You can adapt this practice to use when someone else’stelephoneisringing.Noticethesensationsyoufeelinthebody,plusanythoughtsandemotionsarising,andacknowledgeandstaywiththemasbestyoucan.Allowtheringingtosimplybeasound.

TRYTHIS

Whenyouhearthephoneringing,immediatelyaskyourself,“WhatamIfeelingrightnow?”Checkthethoughts,emotions,andsensationsinthebody,namingthem(forexample,sayingtoyourself:“Fearishere”.)Then,transferyour

awarenesstothebody,eitherbyconnectingtothebreathorbyfeelingyourfeetincontactwiththefloor.Thewholeprocesstakesjustseconds.Onlythen,pick

upthetelephone.

Ifyouknowyouhaveadifficultphonecalltomake,perhapstakeafewmomentsbeforehandtodoaBreathingSpace.

ONHOLDBeingputonholdonthephonecanbringupallkindsofthoughtsandemotions:wemaybe frustratedat thewasteof time,wemay perceive it as an

insult,wemayfindthemusicannoying,andsoon.

However, if we can change thewaywe perceive this,we can reduce the

negativestressitplacesonthebody.Insteadof“waiting”onhold,can

wesimply“be”onhold?

Whynot regard suchmoments as an opportunity to bewith ourselves—a fewminutestakenoutfromworkorhomelifethatofferusthechancetotuneinto

thebodyandthebreath,andallowusjusttobe…tobehererightnow.

Beforeansweringthephone,focusonyourbreathandbody

BEINGPRESENTINCONVERSATIONWhenwe communicatewith another person, all kinds of information—verbalandnonverbal—istransferredbetweenus.However,muchofthetimeweare

sodeterminedtogetourownpointofviewacrossthatwemisswhatothers

aresaying.Weinterruptandspeakoverthem,orwementallyabsentourselves

fromlisteningtothemaswerehearseananswerthatmaynolongerberelevant.Moreover,we filteroutmuchofwhat is said, soweonlyhear thewords

that confirm our particular point of view or story.We ignore or are

unaware of the nonverbal clues that are also offered, because our attention isdistracted.

Incontrast,whenwelistenmindfully,we listenwholeheartedly:we let the

otherpersonspeakwithoutinterruptionandwereallyhearwhattheysay

beforewe respond; we listen with our eyes as well as our ears, noticing

nonverbalcues;andwemakeeyecontact.Furthermore,wetaketimetorespond,sowemaypauseandnoticewhateffectthewordsarehavingonour

bodyandusethatinformationasinvaluablefeedback.

Listening mindfully means we often gain a much clearer and true

understanding of what is being said. We are more aware of our own

storiesandsoacknowledgethattheremaybebiasarising,whichweneedtotakeaccount of. When we listen mindfully, we feel more connected to the

personwithwhomwearehavingtheconversation,andtheyfeelmore

connected to us. We become more aware of our own listening patterns.Becoming aware of our ownpatterns is the first step toward doing somethingdifferently—ifthatiswhatisneeded(andsometimesitisnot.)

TRYTHIS

Beginbysimplynoticinghowyouusuallyparticipateinaconversation.Whatisyournormalmodeoflistening?(Alwaysrememberthatyouaredoingthisinaspiritofkindnessandlearning,ratherthanoneofcriticizingorcondemning.)Notice,too,howotherpeoplelistentoyou.Dotheykeepeyecontact?Aretheymultitasking?Howdoesitmakeyoufeelifthepersonyouaretalking

withseemsonlyhalf-present?

Now,considerhowyoufeelwhensomeoneisfullypresentinaconversationwithyou.Communicatewithothersinthesamewaythatyouwouldlikethemto

communicatewithyou.

★Assoonasyourealizeyourmindiswandering,bringitbacktolistening.

★Avoidinterruptingtheotherperson.Letthemfinish.Youwillthenhave

heardthecompletestoryratherthanonlypartofit.

★Noticeanytendencyyouhavetotrytofixthingsormakethembetterfor

theotherperson,andinstead,seeifyoucanjustbethereforthem.

★Avoidmultitaskinganddojustonethingatatime.Whenyoulisten,just

listen.

★Avoidrehearsingyouranswers.Listenandthenrespond.Youwillfind

yourresponsewillbeimprovedifyouhavereallyheardwhatwassaid.

★Itisokaytopause,takeabreath,andpayattentiontoyourbodyatany

timeduringaconversation.

Remember, we are working to change the habits of alifetime,sobekindtoyourselfwhenyouforgetorwhenyoubuttintoaconversationorinterrupt.

SEEINGIlovedrawingportraitsandwhenyoudrawsomeone’sfaceyouhavetoreally

lookatthemandseethem.Youarenotjudgingthelengthofanoseorthe

sizeofanear,butnoticinghowacertainlinealignswiththisone,oraparticularanglecomesdownfromanother,andsoon.Whenyoudrawsomeoneyouneedtogetupclosetothemandyoufeelaconnection.

Thefollowingpracticedoesnotinvolveanydrawing,butitdoesrequirelooking.Your subject couldbe anotherperson, apet, or an inanimateobject, such as aflowerorastone,orevenaviewfromawindow.

TRYTHIS

Takeapositionwhereyoucanseeyoursubjectclearly,andsettleintoyourseat.Connectfirsttothebreathandthenthebody.

Beginlookingaheadatthesubject.Justopenyoureyestowhatevercomesintoyourfieldofvision.

Noticeanyurgetoturnyourheadinsearchofsomethingmoreinteresting…butifyoudo,justbringyourheadbackinthesamewaythatyouescorttheattentionbackwhenthemindwanders.Noticeanythoughtsarisingandletthemgoorlabelthemas“judging,”“planning,”“past,”orwhateverisappropriate.

Restyoureyesonthesubject,perhapslettingthemroamwithoutturningyourhead…fromtimetotime,becomingawareofthebreathlikearadioplayinginthebackground…movingtheattentionbackwardandforwardinawaythatfeels

rightforyou.Finishbyfocusingonthebreath.

TOUCHINGThisisacompanionpracticetotheSeeingexercise,opposite.Youcandoitasastand-alonepracticeorbeforeorafterSeeing.Forthispracticeyouwillneedanobject—it can be anything, natural orman-made, but it is best to use a smallobject,becauseyouaregoingtoexploreitwithyourhands.

TRYTHIS

Chooseyourobject.Sitinfrontofandwithineasyreachofit.Assumeacomfortablepostureandallowtheattentiontosettleonthebreath.Connectwith

thesensationsofbreathingandthebody.

Closingtheeyes,takeyourattentionintoyourhands…becomingawareofthefingersandthumbononehand…andthenofthoseontheotherhand.

Keepingyourattentioninthebody,movethehandstotheobjectandallowthemtofloatdownsothetipsofthefingersarejustincontactwiththeobject’ssurface.Imagineyouhavenoideawhatthisobjectis,whetherit

isaliveordead,andexploretheobjectbytouch.Wheneverthemindwanders,bringitbackdirectlytothesenseoftouchinthefingersandthethumbs.

Afterawhileyoumaywanttopickuptheobjectandexploreitintheround,andperhapsinvolveothersenses,suchashearingandsmell.Connectwiththe

sourceoftheobject—theearthorthepeoplewhomadeit.

Whenyouareready,placetheobjectbackdown.Now,takeyourattentionbacktothebody,andtothehandsandfingersandthumbsinparticular.Noticewhat

theyarelikenow,afterbeingincontactwiththeobject.

STANDINGINSOMEONEELSE’SSHOES

Western culture promotes a strong sense of individual identity, butmost of usalsobelongtogroups.Ourcirclecanbeasnarrowas“me”versus“therest,” though itusuallystretches to includefamilyandfriendsas

“us” versus “them,” and can extend further outward to become our

neighborhood/region/country versus another. In general, “them” represents

everyonewhoisdifferentfromus.Focusingon thedifferencesbetween

usstrengthensourown identityandmakes iteasier toseparateourselves fromothers.However,thelinethatseparates“us”from“them:isoftenafineone,andthere ismuch tobegained from focusingonwhatwehave incommon

ratherthanwhatmakesusdifferent.

TRYTHIS

Sitsomewherequietwhereyouwon’tbedisturbedandbeginbytakingafewmomentstoconnectwiththebreath(seeMindfulnessofBreathing,andThe

Breath).

Then,bringtomindsomeoneyouhavecomeintocontactwithrecently,whoyouregardasoutsideyourcircle,forwhateverreason.Noticeifyourcriticalmind

judgesyourchoiceandstartscreatingastoryand,ifso,justletitgo.

Holdapictureofthispersoninyourmind’seyeandbeginnoticingthecharacteristicsthatyoushare—perhapsyouarewearingsomethingthesame

colorassomethingtheyarewearing?Ormaybeanitemofclothingisthesame?

Workingfromyourheadtoyourtoes,identifyeverythingthatyouhavein

commonwiththisperson—fromyourgendertoyourbodyparts,fromyourclothingtoyourhairstyle.

SIMPLYNOTICEASMUCHASYOUCAN,HOWEVER

SMALL.

Next,imaginethepersonasayoungchild…assomeone’ssonordaughter…perhapsassomeone’sbrotherorsister…growinguptobesomeone’sgoodfriend…someone’spartner…amotherorafather…agrandmotherora

grandfather.

Wearenotmakingupthingsaboutthisperson,wearesimplyacknowledgingthemasafellowhumanbeingwithsimilarconnections,relationships,hopesandfears,joysandsorrowsasourselves.Theyaresimplysomeonestrugglingtolive

alifeofhappiness,aswealldo.

Now,pictureyourselfstandinginthisperson’sshoes…literallyfeeltheshoestheyarewearingonyourfeet.Howaretheseshoesdifferentfromtheshoesyou

normallywear?Howdoyourfeetfeel?Nowbroadenyourawarenesstovisualizeyourselflivingthelifetheylead…whatdoesthatfeellike?Whatdoyounoticeintermsofsensationsarisinginyourbody…emotions…thoughts?

ALTERNATIVEPRACTICE

Ifyouwanttodothisasaninformalpractice,whenyouareoutandabout,makeapointofnoticingthepeopleyouhabituallyignore.Thesearegenerallypeoplewhoserveusinsomeway—oftentheywearauniform.Wemightlabelthembytheirjob:waitress,policeofficer,andsoon.Wedon’tusuallymakeeyecontact

withthemandwerarelypauselongenoughtoseethepersoninsidetheuniform.So,reallylookatthem.Makeeyecontact,exchangeagreeting.Imagineyourself

doingthejobtheydo…howwouldyouliketobetreated?

Focusonwhatwehaveincommonratherthanwhatmakesus

different

THEEARTHBENEATHUSRecently Iwasatapublicgarden.Thewetweatherhadensured that the lawnwasalushgreencolor,cuttoavelvetsmoothpile.Itbeggedforbarefeet.Thesensationsofhotfeettouchingcoolgrass,ofsinkingintothesoftness,

ofthetickleofgrassagainstskinwereapuresensorydelightthatbroughtbackchildhoodmemoriesofmygrandfatherknockingonthewindowwhenIdaredtorun across his pristine lawn. Whether the lawn is lush or parched, comingdirectly in contactwith the earth is somethingwe don’t do often

enoughasadults.

TRYTHIS

Choosealocationthatissafeandfreefromanydetritus—itcouldbeagardenorapark—andtakeoffyourshoes(andsocksifyouarewearingthem.)

StandinMountainposeandtakeyourattentiontothesolesofthefeet.Becomeawareofyourfeetincontactwiththeground…thesensationofweight,the

contactwithgrass,soil,stones,twigs…

Standstillandknowthatyouarestanding.

Then,liftyourheelsoffthegroundandletthemfallbackdown,raisingfirstoneheelandthentheother.

Peelyourtoesoffthegroundonebyone.Next,feelyourfeet:thesoles,theheels,thetoes,thespacesunderthearches.

Beawareofyourfeettouchingtheearth…thisearththatisspinningbeneathus,yetfeelssolidandstable…thisearththatconnectsfamily,friends,andstrangers

ononecontinentwithothersonanothercontinent…

BRUSHINGHAIRThispracticecouldbedoneonyourself,afriendorpartner,orachild,orperhapsanelderlyparent.Itcanbeawayofconnectingemotionallyaswellas

physicallywitheachotherand isalsoagoodpractice forgetting into the

body.Ifpreferred,thereisnoneedforthereceivertoknowyouaredoingthisasapractice.

While you are doing the brushing, you can focus on the action, feeling theweight of the brush in your hand…noticing how the brushing action changesovertime...feelingthesensationofhairtouchingskin…payingattentiontotheprocessofbrushinghair.

I would encourage you to let go of any need to count the number of strokesbecausehavingatargetsuggestsagoaltoreachwhereasinthispracticewe

areexploringtheprocessitself.

The person whose hair is being brushed can explore the sensations on thescalp…noticing the resonancedown through thewholebody…softening intotheprocess.

In thebookBuddha’sBrain:ThePracticalNeuroscienceofHappiness,Love and Wisdom, neuropsychologist Rick Hanson describes howmonkeysandapescanspenduptosixhoursadaygroomingeachotherand how research has found that the animal doing the groomingbenefitedmostfromtheinteractionintermsofstressrelief.

CREATINGACIRCLEOFKINDNESSOfferingLovingKindness to thosewe care about can be a stand-alone sittingpracticeoritcanformpartofalongerpractice.Itcanalsobedoneinformallyinanyquietspacewhereitispossibletositandreflectundisturbed.

TRYTHIS

Sitandassumeacomfortableposture,perhapstakingafewmomentstotuneintothebreathandallowingyourselftosettle.

Bringtomindsomeoneyoucareabout—itmaybeapartner,aparent,asibling,achild,orafriend,orevenamuch-lovedpetoranimal.Imaginethispersonoranimaland,holdingtheminyourmind’seye,offerthemyourloveandgood

wishesbysilentlyrepeating:

“Mayyoubewell,

Mayyoubehappy,

Mayyoubefreefromsuffering.”

(Rememberthatitisfinetochangethephrasesifyouwish.)

Repeateachphraseslowlyandletitresonate,likeapebblefallingdownawell…

Now,imagineyourselfstandingnexttothepersonortheanimal,perhapsholdinghandswiththepersonorplacingyourhandontheanimalifthatfeels

righttoyou,andrepeatingsilently:

“Maywebewell,

Maywebehappy,

Maywebefreefromsuffering.”

Then,calltomindsomeoneelseyoucareabout,andbringthemintoyourcircleandgothroughthesameprocess.

Continueinthiswayforaslongasyouwouldliketo,addingpeopletoyourcircleandalwaysrememberingtoincludeyourself.Ifyouwish,youcanendby

includingallbeings.

Notice,too,anythoughtsthatmightariseaboutthechoicesyoumake,monitoringhowtheyresonateinthebody,andyouremotions.Ifthereisany

feelingofcontractionortightening,justnoticeandacknowledgeitspresenceandrememberthatyoualwayshaveachoiceofincludingsomeoneornot.

Thisisyourpractice.Asyoubecomemoreexperiencedandifyouwish,you

canmoveontotheLovingKindnesspracticethatisspecificallyaimedatpeoplewhoirritateus(seeThoseWhoIrritateUs),butitisalwaysbesttobeginwith

yourselfandthoseyoucareabout.

Manypeoplefind itastruggle toofferLovingKindness to themselvesandonewayofgettingaroundthisistoincludeyourselfwhenwishingagroup of people well, in particular those we care about. “Maywe behappy”inthecontextoffriendsandfamilyoftenfeelsappropriateinaway that “May I be happy” does not. By relaxing around the idea ofofferingLovingKindnesstoourselveswithinagroup,itbecomeseasiertodoLovingKindnessspecificallyforourselves(seeOfferingKindnesstoYourself).

OFFERINGKINDNESSTOYOURSELFMany of us are more likely to practice meanness rather thankindness toward ourselves. We judge ourselves

remorselessly, making unreasonable demands on

ourselves and offering no quarter when we fall short. We

wouldnevertreatsomeonewecaredaboutinthisway.Offeringkindness toward ourselves is an invaluable practice

andonethatcannotbedonetoooften.Peopleoftenworrythattheyfeelnothingwhendoingpracticeslikethis,butthatisokay.Thereisnoexpectationto

feelanythinginparticular,andyoushouldsimplycontinue.Justasaseed

growsandputsdownrootsunderthesoillongbeforeweseeanysignofleavesaboveground, sochange ishappening insideusbeforewenoticeanyobvioussignofit.Ifyoudothispracticeregularly,youwillnoticeadifference.

Thispracticeiscommonlydoneasasittingpractice.

TRYTHIS

Sitinapostureinwhichyoufeelalertyetrelaxed,grounded,andstable.Beginbytakingafewmomentstoconnectwiththebreath.Placeyourattentionwhereverinthebodyyoufeelthebreathmoststrongly,andjustnoticethephysicalsensationsofbreathing.Rememberthatthebreathisyourhomebase—theplacetocomebacktoifatanytimethingsgetdifficultoryou

loseyourway.

Ifyouwouldliketo,placeonehandovertheheart.Takeafew

momentstofeeltheconnectionofpalmtochest—noticingthe

sensationsofcontact,temperature,andmovement.

Now,beginrepeatingtwoorthreephrasessuchas:“MayIbehappy,

MayIbepeaceful,

MayIbewell.”

Ormakeupothersimilarphrasesthatparticularlyresonatewithyou.Repeateachphrasesilently,noticinganyreverberationsintermsofthoughts,emotionsandsensationsfeltinthebody.Noticinganypullof“movingtoward,”oranyresistanceor“pushingaway.”Whateveryounoticeissimplyfeedbackandan

acknowledgmentofhowthingsarerightnow.

CONTINUEFORASLONGASYOUWANTTO

Peopleoftenfindthisquiteadifficultpracticetodo—wishingourselveswellcangoagainsteverythingwehavebeentaught.However,itisimportantbecauseifwe cannot be kind to ourselves, how canwe hope to be kind to

others?

If you find this practice a struggle, perhaps first try Creating a Circle ofKindness, inwhichwebeginbyofferingkindness to thosewecareabout,andthenincludeourselvesinthatcircle.

Anotherwaythatmightmakeiteasierforyou,istodothepracticeabovewhileholdinganimageofyourselfasavulnerablechildinyourmind’seye.

Feelfreetochangethephrasesasyouwish—althoughbewareofgetting

sidetrackedinsearchingfortheperfectwords.Sometimespeoplefindithelpfultoaddthecaveat“…asit ispossibleformetobe”ifthestateyouaredescribingfeelsoutofreachatthattime.

THOSEWHOIRRITATEUSWeallhavepeopleinourlifewhorubusupthewrongway. I once did the following practice focusing on acolleagueIwas indailycontactwith,butwithwhomIhad a difficult relationship. She was grumpy,

demanding, and often rude (so I thought), but it

wasanimportantrelationshipforbothofus.Icoulddonothing about her attitude, but I could do somethingaboutmineandsoforawhileshebecamemyfocus

inaLovingKindnesspractice,inwhichIwishedthis

personwell,picturingherassomeonewhowantedto

behappy,liked,andloved.

AsIprogressedwiththispractice,thedifferenceinourrelationshipwas

remarkable.However,thechangewasinme;Ihaddonenothingtoher.Inow

sawher inanewlight,whichchangedthewayIrelatedtoher.Itwasnotan

intellectualchange,butanemotionalone. Althoughwe never became

friends,weestablishedagoodworkingrelationship.

Ourbody isa truebarometerofour feelings. Iwasdoing thispracticewithsomeonewhowascausingalotofhurttoafriend.WhenItriedtosay“Mayyoubewell,”Iwassurprisedtofeelastrongresistanceinmybody.Onepartofmewassaying“ComeonAnna,wishhimwell…”yettheotherflatlyrefused.Therewasnowaymytrueselfwaspreparedtodo this, even if intellectually Iwanted to.Rememberinga teachingbyJosephGoldstein,IexploredwhatIwouldbepreparedtowish, testing

different phrases against the sensations I felt inmy body.After a few

momentsIcameupwith“Mayyoubefreefromanger,”sincethiswastheemotionthatwasdrivingthisperson’sbehavior,andIcouldfeelnoresistanceinmybodytosayingthis.Icontinuedthepracticeusingjustthatphrase.

TRYTHIS

Sitinacomfortablepositionandbeforeyoustart,choosesomeonewhoisirritatingyou.(Istronglyrecommendthatyoudonotchooseanyonewhohashurtyousignificantly—keepitsmall,manageable,andsafe,asthispracticecan

stirupstrongemotions.)

Takesometimetosettleintoyourposture,connectingwiththebreathandthebody.Itisimportantfirsttoestablishagoodsenseofthebreath,sothatyoucan

comebacktoitanytimethingsbecomedifficult.

Bringtomindyourchosenperson.Itcanbehelpfultopicturethepersonsomewhereheorshecan’treachyou(suchasonanislandsurroundedbyshark-infestedwaters.)Whereveryoupicturetheperson,beginwishinghimorher

well,usingthefollowingphrasesorothersofyourown.

“Mayyoubewell/happy,

Mayyoubefreefromanger/hate,

Mayyoubecalm/peaceful.”

Silentlyrepeatingthephrases,feeltheresonancerippleoutandnoticetheeffectonthebody,themind,andtheemotions.Returnyourattentiontothebreathif

anyofthesebecometoostrong.(Ifyoufeeloverwhelmedatanytime,returntoOfferingKindnessto

Yourselfanddothisforawhile.)

Youneedtodo thispracticeregularly.Doingitonce isunlikely to create any change. However, it is betterinitially to do it for only a few minutes sandwichedbetweenlongerperiodsofMindfulnessofBreathingandgraduallybuildupthetime.

Remember we are not seeking to change the otherperson’sbehaviororattitudes inanyway.Anychangeswillarise inus,not inthem,butthewayweinteractwiththemmayaffecttheirresponsetous.

WISHINGWELLIwas first introduced to the idea of combining a traditional LovingKindnesspracticewithwalkingbyauthorandmeditationteacherSharonSalzberg.DoingthetwopracticestogethertransformstheformalLovingKindnesspracticetoonethatisinformal,whichyoucandoanywhere.

As with the other practices of this kind, it is important that you choose

phrasesthatresonatewithyou.Theonesherearesimplysuggestions,so

pleasefeelfreetochangethem.

Remember, too, that we are not practicing Loving Kindness with a view tochanginganyone,wearesimplysendinggoodwishestoourselvesand

others.

TRYTHIS

Beginwalking.Ifyouaredoingthisinformally,walkatapacethatisnormalforyou,otherwiseyoumaywishtowalkmoreslowlythanusual.Whileyouare

walking,repeatthefollowingphrasessilentlytoyourself:

“MayIbewell,

MayIbehappy,

MayIbefreefromsuffering.”

Perhapspauseinbetweeneachphraseandleteachonedrop,settle,andresonatethroughthebody.Everytimeyougetpulledawaybythoughtsofsomeoneelse,

oryoubecomeawareofanotherlivingbeingaroundyou(andthisincludes

animalsandinsects),extendyourawarenesstoincorporatethem,too:

“Maywebewell”andsoon.

Then,returntosayingthephrasesjustforyourselfagain.

LETTINGGOOFTECHNOLOGY

Ourcellphones,smartphones,laptops,andMP3playersareallsupposedtomakelifebetterforus.Theyenableustostayin

touchwithfriendsandfamily,and to listen tomusicweenjoy.However, thesegadgetsalsoconnectus to theoffice24/7,anddistract us from what we are doing. How often are youinterruptedfromwhatyouaredoingbythebeepofanincomingtext, phone call, or email? There is nothing wrong with technology until itinterfereswithourrelationshipswithothers.Whatisyourrelationshipwithyourgadgets?

TRYTHIS

Giveyourselfthegiftofuninterruptedtimebymakingaconsciousdecisionnottoanswerphonecallsandemails,ortolistentomusic.Ifgoingcoldturkeyfeelstoobigajump,perhapsjustdecidetofocusononething,suchasgoingtowork

withouthavingheadphoneson.Othersuggestionsare:

★Lookatyouremailsatsettimesonly.Dependingonwhatyoudo,this

couldbeeveryhour,threetimesaday,orevenonceaday.Allowyourself

sometimetofocusonotherthingsandotherpeoplewithoutinterruptions.

★Turnoffyourphonewheneveryoucanor,atleast,putitonsilent.

★Avoidbringingphonestomeals.

★Avoidtakingyourphonetoanyactivitythatissupposedtobetimeoff.

★Whenyouarewithfamily,andespeciallychildren,givethemyourfull

attentionratherthansplittingit.Youwillallbenefit.

JonKabat-Zinntalksoftheimportanceofestablishingamindfulnesspractice

while life is goingwell and you are feeling strong. By doing this you are

learning and practicing skills (“weaving your parachute”) that will be

invaluable when life throws up obstacles. It is much harder to try to

learnsomethingnewwhenweareincrisis.

ThepracticesinthissectionarewhatIcallfoundationalpractices.ThesearethepracticesIcomebacktotimeandtimeagain:watchingthebreath,tuningintomyweatherforecast,andpracticingstayingwiththeitch.Ifyouareacreatureofhabit,deliberatelyputtingyourselfoutsideyourcomfortzonebydoing

somethingdifferentwillgentlybuildupyourstresstolerancelevel.

Themoreyoucanexerciseyourmuscleofawareness,themoreresilientyouwillbeintimesofstress.Researchhasshownthatyoucan“bank”stressresilienceinthebody,somakethemostof timeswhen life isgoingsmoothly—it

willpaydividendslaterwhentimesaretougher.

WAKINGUPTOMINDLESSNESSWhenwestartpayingattentiontoourselves,thefirstthingwenoticeisjusthowmindlessweare.Webecomeawareofhow judgmentalweareaboutothersandhow these judgments influenceour thoughts, actions,

andbehavior.We often notice after the event how quick we were to react

automatically to someoneor something,whichmay leadus to regretwhatwehavesaidordone.

Weoftenhaveatendencytoseethesemindlessmomentsasanotheroneofourfaults. However, it is far better to seize them as opportunities for

congratulation. The fact that we are noticing how mindless we are is an

important first step—the noticing is a moment of wakefulness and

clear seeing. Until we see something for what it really is there is no

possibilityofdoingitdifferently.

Sonexttimeyounoticeajudgingthoughtaboutsomeoneorsomething,labelit—tellyourselfthe“judgingmind”ispresent.

When you realize you could have handled someone or something better,congratulate yourself on the act of noticing this, acknowledge how you

might have done things differently, and remind yourself that the gap

betweenreactionandresponsewillbecomenarrowerwithpractice.Forthisisapractice—wehavetodoitoverandoveragaintolearnnewhabits

andwiser responses.Wewill forget andwewill need to start over. Thiswillalwayshappenanditisintegraltotheprocessofpracticing.

Notice the judgingmind or an inappropriate responsewith a spirit of

kindnessratherthancompoundingtheresponsewithcondemnation.We

areall“worksinprogress.”

THEBREATHMindfulness of breathing is one of the first practices people often learn. Onereasonforthisisthatthebreathisagreatfocusforapracticebecause

itisalwaysthere,sobytuningintoitregularly,wearecreatingananchor

thatwillhelpstabilizeuswhenthingsgetdifficult.

Whenwedothebreathingmeditationswearenot tryingtochangeourwayofbreathing, rather we are just noticing how it is right now. How we are

breathing gives us great feedback on our current state of mind.

Noticing thequalitiesofourbreathing—whether it isshortor long,shallowordeep,andsoon—canbe reallyuseful, ascanbecoming familiarwithhowwebreathenormallyandhowthebreathchangesifweareanxiousorangry.

Youmaynotice thattheactoffocusingyourattentiononthebreath

changes it. If this happens there is no need to worry. If it feels okay, just

continuewatchingthebreathandfeelingthephysicalsensationsofbreathing.

Sometimes people have strong negative associations with the breath that cancause a breathing meditation to be problematic. If this applies to you, Irecommendthatyoutakeyourattentiontoyourfeetonthefloor.Youcandothisasanalternativepracticeoryoucanswitchbetween thebreathand thefeetonthe floor, staying with the breath perhaps only for a moment or two beforegroundingyourselfthroughpayingattentiontothefeetforalongerperiod.Thisisasafewaytopracticebeingwiththebreathatapaceandinawaythat

feelsrightforyou.

When we are watching the breath, the only instruction is to notice and

experience the physical sensations of breathing: the expansion and

contractionofthebelly,theriseandfallofthechest.Staywiththelengthofeachin-breathandeachout-breathandnotice,too,thespacesbetween—whenanout-breathturnsintoanin-breath,andbackagain.

Themomentyourealizeyouaresomewhereelseandyourmindhasbeenpulledaway by thoughts, notice this and come back to the breath. Let go of anynegative thoughts such as “I’m hopeless at this,” or “See—I can’t even stayfocused on the breath.” In fact, thesemoments ofwaking up aremoments ofcongratulation. In suchmoments of realization, you are truly present.All youhavetodoiscomebacktothebreathandstartoveragain.Thisisthepractice.

MINDFULNESSOFBREATHING

This practice is great for getting in to the body and it also developsconcentration.Itisagoodwaytopracticetuningintothebreathandifyoudothisregularly,youwillfinditeasiertoanchoryourselfwhenthingsaredifficult.Youcandoitinformallyanytimeandinanyplacesonooneneedknowyouaredoingit.Youcanalsodoitasaformalsittingpracticeathome(seeposturetips).Followtheinstructions.

Youcandothisforasshortoraslongaperiodasyouwish.Ifyouaredoingitasalongerformalpractice,seesuggestionsonmanagingtime.

Tosupportyourpracticeitcanbehelpfultoalwaysplaceyourattentiononthesamepartofthebody.Choosetheareawhereyoufeelthebreathmoststrongly—forexample,thebellyorthechest.

COUNTINGTHEBREATH

Thisisanotherpracticeforgettingintothebody,andbuildingfocusandattention.Countingthebreathcanbehelpfulifyouarefeelingparticularly

distracted,asthecountingprocessactsasascaffoldonwhichtobuild.Youcandothisasaninformalpractice,butitismorecommonlydoneasaformalsitting

practice.

Takeyourseatasdescribedhere.Startingonanin-breath,countuptofiveonsubsequentin-breaths.Thenstartagainatone.When(anditwillbe“when”ratherthan“if”)youfindyourselfgoingpastfive,justgobacktooneagainas

soonasyourealize.

Yourmindwillwanderandyouwillkeepstartingover.Thisisthepractice.

Focusingonthein-breathand/ortheout-breath.

AvariationonCountingtheBreathistofocusoneitherthein-breathortheout-breath.Chooseeitheroneatthestartofthepracticeandkeeptothisforthe

entiretimeratherthanswitchingbetweenthetwo.

Itcanbeinterestingtonoticethedifferentqualitiesthevariationscultivate.Play,experiment,andinvestigateforyourself.Becuriousaboutyourbreath.

TAKINGABREATHINGSPACEItisagoodideatohaveaquickwayofshiftinggearsandcominginto

thepresentmoment.Thiscanbedoneasamini-meditationthroughoutyour

day, but is also especially helpful when things seem difficult in your life.However,donotuse it to try to fixorchangeanexperience. Your

experiencemaybedifferentafterdoingthispracticebut,equally,itmaybethesameasitwasbefore.

Thebreathingspaceisanopportunitytopauseandshiftfrom“doing”modeinto“being.”We noticewhat is arising for us in terms of thoughts, emotions, andphysical sensations andwe acknowledge their presence (even ifwewish theyweren’tthere.)Thenweturnourattentiontothebreathandbreathewithallthatis arising. This coming into the present moment is the first step to acceptingwhatisarising.

Itcanbehelpfultoschedulethismini-meditationintoyourday,perhapschoosinganevent topeg it to, forexample,eachmealtime.Whenyouforget (whichyouoftenwill) just do theBreathingSpace themomentyou remember. Gradually the process of scheduling will help thispracticebecomesomethingyoudothroughouttheday.

TRYTHIS

TheBreathingSpacewasdevelopedbymindfulnessteacherandtrainerTrishBartley,andpeopleoftensayitisthepracticetheydomostregularly.Ittakesjustacoupleofminutesandyoucandoitanywhere,withoutanyoneknowing.

ItishelpfultoseetheBreathingSpaceasathree-steppractice.Startinaposturethatreflectsaninnerattitudeofalertattention(sitting,standing,orlyingdown.)

Step1Acknowledgewhatyouarethinking…whatemotionsarepresentandwhatphysicalsensationsyouarefeelinginthebody(ifany.)Thisisanoticingandnamingstep.Wearenotanalyzingorjudgingwhattheexperienceis,orwhetheritisappropriateorpoliticallycorrect.Wearesimplyacknowledgingwhatisthere—andtheremaybenothingandthatisjustyourexperiencenow.

Step2Takingyourattentiontoyourbreath,beginfeelingthesensationsofbreathing.Ifitishelpful,youcanrepeatsilentlytoyourself,“breathingin,

breathingout.”Staywiththebreathforafewmoments.

Step3Widenyourfocusofattentionfromthebreathtoincludethewholebody,becomingawareofpointsofcontact,suchasyourfeetonthefloororyour

buttocksonachair…becomingawareoftheroomyouarein…ofanysounds…ofanysmells...Inthisstateofalertawareness,continuewithyourday.

Thispracticeisespeciallyhelpfulwhenthingsseemdifficultin

yourlife

STAYINGWITHTHEITCHThe formal meditation practices, such as the body scan, sitting or movementpracticeallprovideplentyofopportunitiesfordifferentstatesofmind,suchasimpatience,frustration,boredom,irritation,peacefulness,calmness,andsoon,toarise.Learningto“bewith”variousstatesofmindwhenwepractice

canhelpuscopewiththemwhentheyariseineverydaylife.

TRYTHIS

Whateverkindofpracticewearedoing,weareneverdeliberatelymakingourselvesuncomfortableandwecertainlydonotwanttositgrimlythroughpain.However,wecanpracticenotreactingtosmalldiscomforts,suchasanitchor

pinsandneedles.

Wepractice“beingwith”discomfortbyturningtowardit…becominginterestedinhowitisreally“is”…whereitis...whatqualitiesithas…whetheritis

constantorchanging…Whenweareinterestedinsomething,wewanttofindoutmoreaboutit.Wearecurious.Thisisaverydifferentapproachtopushing

somethingaway,becausewedonotlikeit.

Sopracticestayingwiththeitch—theliteralitchandthemetaphoricalitch.Itcouldbeinaformalsittingpracticeorsomethingarisingineverydaylife—

perhapstheurgetofidgetinanimportantmeeting—butexperimentwithwhatitisliketorespondtoitratherthanreacttoit.

TIPAuthorandmeditationteacherJackKornfieldsuggests the“three-

strikes rule.” If younotice adesire, say, to scratch an itchor to enda

practice, he suggests simply noticing the urge and then letting it go.Whenitarisesagain(anditwill),letitgoagain.Then,whenitarisesathird time,youcangiveyourselfpermission tomoveor“scratch”,butdo so mindfully—that is, with full awareness of what you are doingwhileyouaredoingit.

DOINGSOMETHINGDIFFERENTMany of us are creatures of habit. There is a sense of security and

comfort in knowing what is going to happen next and if we are

vulnerabletoanxiety,wetendtotrytocontrolasmuchofourdayaspossible.Thisbecomesproblematicwhenlifethrowsupanobstacleandsuddenly

wearestruggling to remainstandingonshiftingsands, which adds

additionalstressandincreasesouranxiety.

Ifwecanexperimentwithextendingtheboundariesofourcomfortzonewhenthingsarestable,wewillbebetterabletocopewhenlifegoesawry.

TRYTHIS

First,takestockofyourdailyroutine.Howpredictableisyourdailyroutine?

Rememberthatitisnothelpfultomakejudgmentsaboutwhatyoudiscover.Itisjustasnapshotofwhereyouarerightnow.

Now,experimentwithdoingsomethinginacompletelydifferentway.Choosesomethingsmall,suchaswhatyouhaveforlunchortherouteyouregularlytake

towork.Next,decidehowlongyouwilldothisonethingdifferently—forexample,foronedayoroneweek.

Then,doit!Becreative.Beplayful.

HAVESOMEFUNWITHITANDSEEWHATYOUNOTICE.

BEFRIENDINGTHEWANTINGCREATURE

A poem by the fifteenth-century Indian mystic, Kabir,begins “I said to the wanting-creature inside me…”When I feel the pull of craving—whether it is for anextra piece of chocolate, a book, or some gadget—Iimaginethis littlecreature insidemewakingup,

uncurling,andstretching,andmakingitselfknown.It

hasastronglyfelt,identifiablepresence.

Now I recognize my “wanting creature” and I try towatch it rather than give in to it.Will it settle back tosleep after a burst of energy or will it hang around?Sometimes, I do feed it and Iwill have the literal andmetaphorical chocolate, but I am taking the chocolatewith a sense of knowing what I am doing (and itsconsequences) rather than taking it and eating itautomatically.

We can be pulled into all kinds of cravings—for material goods,

particular circumstances, relationships—and identifying andmaking friendswith your inner wanting creature may help you make wiser

choices.

TRYTHIS

Nexttimeyoufeelastrongurgetodosomething,takeyourattentiontothebody.Whatsensationsdoyoufeelthere?Whereaboutsdoyoufeelthesenseof

wantingmoststrongly?

Becurioustofindoutmoreaboutyourwantingcreature…whatitisattractedto…whatdrivesitscravings…

Experimentwithwhathappensifyoufeedit—howdoyoufeelafterward?Whathappensifyouignoreit?Whatdoyounoticeifyouacknowledgeitspresence(forexamplebysayingtoyourself,“Iseeyou,”)butdon’tactonitsdemands?

Playwiththewantingcreatureinsideyou.

Asyoubecomefamiliarwithitscharacteristicsyoumaystartnoticingitsappearancemorereadily;youmaybegintonoticethenuancesbetweendegreesofwanting.Onceyouareawarethatyourchoicesarebeinghijackedbyitsarrival,youaremorelikelytowrestbackcontroltomakeyourdecisions.

Inthebeginningitiscommontorememberaftertheeventthatweweretryingtonoticesomething.Whenthishappens,useitasanopportunityforpracticeratherthandisappointment.Ifyouarealreadyeatingapieceof chocolate taken automatically, begin eating it mindfully, payingattentiontotheactofeating.Noticewhatitfeelslikeduringeatingandnotice, too, how the body feels afterward. Become aware of thoughtsand emotions arising. You may also notice that once you acquire anobject,whateveritis,itbecomeslessinterestingandyourattentionmaymovequicklyontosomethingelse.Usethisasanopportunitytolearn

andremember,sothatnexttimethewantingcreaturethrowsatantrum,

youcanremindyourselfofhowyoufeltwhenyougaveintoit.

WATCHINGRESISTANCEMuchofourunhappinessarisesbecausethingsarenotaswewould

likethemtobe—wewant tobe thinner,morebeautiful,healthier,wealthier,

livesomewherelessbusyorperhapslivelier,changejobs,haveapartner,orgetdivorced…the list isendlessanddifferent foreachofus.Wemayalso

experienceaversiontothehomelesspersoninthestreetorthestarvingchildonthe television, turning away from them because acknowledging their presenceforces us to confront their reality (or our own.) Moreover, we may feel

resistancetotakingexerciseeventhoughweknowitisgoodforus;likewise

with practicingmeditation. In the following exercise,we are not interested inwhy, but simply in what it is about our experience that we are

resisting,andnoticinghowthatresistancefeelsinthebody.

TRYTHIS

Beginbynoticingthemomentsyouhabituallyresistorturnawayfrom.

Payattentiontothebody—particularlytoanysenseofstiffeninguporturningawayfromsomeoneorsomething.Noticeanytensioninthebody,identifywhereitisandwhatformittakes…maybenoticingagrimaceorafacialexpressionthatoccurs…anexternalorinternalrecoilfromsomethingor

someone.

Asyounoticeresistanceinitsmultitudeofforms,acknowledgeitspresence.Saytoyourself,“Ah,Iseeyou!”or“Resistance(or‘notwanting’)ishere.”Besure

tonameitwithcompassionratherthanwithjudgment.Acknowledgeits

presenceandsimplyallowittobethere,insteadofthemoretypicalresponseof

pushingitaway.Perhapsexploreitabitfurther…findingoutwhatresistancefeelsliketoyou.Wheredoyoufeelitinthebody?(Beaspreciseasyoucan

aboutitslocation.)Identifyitsshapeandfeelingtone—isithard,soft,jagged,orsmooth?Isitwarmorcold,solidorethereal?Doesithaveacolor?Doesitmove

aroundorisitconstant?

Becuriousaboutresistance.Howdoyouknowyoudon’tlikesomethingorsomeone,ordon’twanttodosomething?Remember,wearenottryingto

changeitormakeitgoaway,insteadwesimplywanttolearnmoreaboutit,sothatwecanrecognizeitwhenitshowsup.

Webegintonoticetheenergythatisneededtomaintaintheresistance.Becomeawareoftheenergyrequiredtoholdthebodytense…Howdoesthismakeyou

feel?Whatcouldyoudodifferently?

Beginnoticingwhatorwhoyouhabituallyturnawayfrom—itmaybesomeoneatworkwhoyoudon’tgetonwithorperhapsaneighbor.Whetheryouareawareofyourantipathyornot,itwillbecoloringyourrelationshipand

interactionswiththatperson.

Whenwebecomeawarewhatandwhowehabituallyturnawayfrom,wecantakeaccountofthisandmakeallowancesforourjudgmentalattitudes,and

perhapsdeliberatelysetouttoapproachthemdifferently,turningtowardtheminsteadofawayfromthem.Wecanalsobreatheintotheareaofthebodywherewefeeltheaversion,directingthebreath,andbreathingwiththeresistance,

allowingthebreathtocomeupclosetoaversion,to“notwanting.”

NOTICEWHATHAPPENS.BEWITHRESISTANCE.

Itcanfeelcounterintuitivetopayattentiondeliberatelytothesensationsofresistanceandaversionthatyoufeel,soalwaysbeginwithaminorirritationor,ifthatfeelstoochallenging,perhapsstartoffwithnoticingwhenyouarecraving

orwantingsomethingorsomeone(seeBefriendingtheWantingCreature)

SITTINGLIKEAMOUNTAINIn this sittingpracticewedeliberately cultivate thequalitiesof amountain. InWhereverYouGoThereYouAre,JonKabat-Zinnhighlightstheimportantrolethat mountains play in mythology and religion, and suggests that we canborrow the strength and steadfastness of the mountain and

embodyitwithinusduringasittingpractice.

TRYTHIS

Siteitheronthefloororinachair,makingsurethatthelowerpartofthebodyisgroundedandconnectedwiththeearthorthefloorandtheupperpartofthebodyisalertandrisingupward.Youshouldfeelaslight“push-me-pull-you”

tensionbetweenthetwohalves.(SeePosture)

Takeafewmomentstoconnectwiththesensationsofbreathing.Feeltherisingandfallingofthechest…stayingwiththelengthofeachin-breathandthelengthofeachout-breath(andifyoufindyourselfgettingpulledaway,simplycomebacktothebreath.)Then,expandyourawarenessoutwardtogainasenseofthe

wholebodysittinghere.

Next,bringtomindamountainyouknow,orhaveseeninabookorontelevision,ormakeupanimageofamountain.Allowthemountaintotake

shapeinyourimagination—perhapsithasasharppeakormaybeasoftplateau.Visualizetheseasononthemountain…itsslopesmaybecoveredinforest,

snow,orbarerock.Yourmountaincantakeanyformyouwish.

Some of us find visualizations more difficult than others. If you arestrugglingtopictureaparticularmountain,justnoticeyourstruggleandany associated thoughts or judgments, and let them go. Then, justimaginethatyourbodyisamountainandconnectwiththeoverallshapeandstrengthofmountainsingeneral.

Asyoucontinuesittingwiththeimageofyourmountain,begintobringthemountainintothebody—yourheadbecomesthepeak,yourshoulderstheupperslopes,thelowerpartofthebodythelowerslopes,connectingwiththeearth.Sitasyourmountain…connected,grounded,yetwiththepeakrisingupintothe

sky.

Now,becomeawareofthelifeofthemountain…thepassingseasons…thewind…therain…thesnow…andthesunshine,arisingandpassingaway.Yetthroughitall,themountainremains,regardless.Perhapsitbecomesalittlemore

weathered,butitisstillfamiliar,stillthere.Themountainjustsits.

WHATISYOURWEATHERFORECAST?

We are all familiar with the idea of a weather barometer as an instrument topredictthestateoftheweathernowandintheimmediatefuture.Thefollowingpractice was devised bymindfulness teacher Trish Bartley, and in itwe areusing our body as a barometer to determine theweather of our

moods. By learning to recognize our own “weather” through becoming

familiarwiththedifferentfeelingtonesarisinginthebody,wegain

feedbackaboutwhat isgoingonforusinaparticularmoment.Aswebecomemore practiced at doing this, we can use the body as our own emotionalbarometerandwecanbegintopickupearlysignsofparticularmoods

astheyariseandsowillbeinabetterpositiontotakeinformedaction.

TRYTHIS

Identifythepartofthebodywhereyouusuallyfeelstress—thisismostcommonlyinthetorso,buttrytobeasspecificaspossibleintermsoflocation.Youmightwanttonotethisdown

somewhere.Practicetuningintothispartofthebodywheneveryouarefeelingstressed,anxious,worried,orexperiencinganother

difficultemotion—bereallycuriousandnoticewhatthesestatesofmindfeellikephysically.

Thendothesamethingwhenyouarefeelingpositiveemotions,suchasexcitement,happiness,calm,orpeacefulness.

Oftenweareunawarethataparticularemotionisinfluencingandaffectingourwordsandactions.Butlearningtorecognizethefeeling“tones”andthe

constantlyshiftingpatternsofboththepositiveandnegativemindstateshelpsusrealizewhatmaybedrivingourthoughts,words,andactions,andthatthey

constantlychange.

HEARINGSOUNDANDSILENCEMindfulness practice is often an explorationofthesensesbuthearingorsoundpracticeisoftenoverlooked.Usuallywhenweheara soundweallocateameaningtoit,oftenwithanassociatedstory based on our experiences of that sound.Thus if you have been in an accident withemergency vehicles attending every time youhear a siren your bodymay respond to it as athreat, and all the memories, thoughts, andassociations from that time may come to thefore.Youmayrepeatedlyrelivetheeventpurelybecause the sound has activated the body

memory.

Inthispracticeweareexperimentingwithbeingwithsoundsimplyassound—anoteornotesstrungtogether.Whenwegetpulledawaybyanassociatedstory,atthemoment of noticing this, we let it go and bring our attention back to thesound.

TRYTHIS

Takeyourseatandallowthebodytosettle,perhapsconnectingtothebreathforfewminutestoanchoryourselfinthebody.

Then,imaginingyourbodyasareceiver,openinguptosound.Thesemaybefar

awaysoundsorinternalsoundsinthebody…hearing…receiving…noticing

theeffectsofdifferentsoundsonthebody.Howdoesthebodyreacttosound?Justnoticingwithoutjudgment.

Wearenotlookingforsound–wearenotactively“listening”.Wearesimplyallowingourselvestoopenandreceivewhateversoundmightcomeintoourvicinity,likearadar.Noticingitarising,noticingitpassing.Noticingitstone,

pitch,timbre.Becomingawareofpuresound.

Noticingthepausesbetweensounds.Thesoundofsilence.

SITTINGBYTHEWATERFALLOur thoughts are very powerful. They weave works of fiction that can

sweep us into another world. The following sitting practice offers a way ofbeingwithourthoughts,withoutlettingourselvesbecarriedawaybythem.

TRYTHIS

Takethetimetosettleintoyourseat.Makesureyoufeelgroundedthroughthefloorand/orchair.Connecttotheplacewhereyoufeelthebreathmoststronglyandmakethatyourpointoffocus.Spendseveralminuteswatchingthebreath,

noticingitseffectonthemindandthebody.

Thebreathisyouranchorandanytimeyoufeelyourselfgettingsweptawaybythoughts,usethebreathtoreelyourselfbackintothebody.Youmaydothis

repeatedly.

Pictureyourselfatthetopofawaterfall,sittingsafelyonarock,withasenseoftheearthbeneath,supportingyou.Perhapstherearerocks,trees,orbushesyoucanholdonto.Thewaterisrushingbyandcascadingoverthetop,carryingyour

thoughts,twistingandturninginminiwhirlpools…

Ifyouwouldliketo,youcanconsciouslyplaceyourthoughtsinthewater,perhapslaunchingthemoutintothecurrentonleaveslikerafts.Somethoughtsmightgetstuckbehindarockandremaininsight,butthepowerofthewater

soonpushesthemon.

Asyousitontherock,youmaybesoakedbythewaterspraybutyouarenot

gettingsweptaway.Yourthoughtspassby,tumblingovertheedge,outofsight

andoutofmind.Youremainsitting,watchingthem.

PAYINGATTENTION

In A Heart asWide as theWorld, Sharon Salzberg tells a lovely story aboutbeing on a retreat. Sharonwent for an interviewwith her teacher, U Pandita,expectingtorelatehermeditationexperiencebutinsteadheaskedhertotellhimeverythingaboutputtingonhershoes.Shehadnotpaidanyattentiontoputtingonhershoessoshewentawayandnoticedall thatwas involvedinputtingonhershoes.She returnedforhernext interviewconfident that shecould tellall.However,herteacherwasnolongerinterestedinshoesbutaskedherwhatshehad noticed about washing her face; having been so focused on noticing thethoughts,feelings,andsensationsaround“puttingonshoes”,Sharonhadnoticednothing about washing her face. As each day passed, not knowing what herteacherwouldaskhernext,Sharonstartedtopayattentiontoeveryexperienceofherday.

TRYTHIS

Imagineyouhavebeenaskedtotellsomeoneeverythingthereistoknowabouthowyouputonyourshoes.Noticewhatyoudoandwhatitfeelslike.Then

choosesomethingelse,suchas:

★Puttingonyourclothes

★Shaving

★Puttingonyourmake-up

★Eatingbreakfast

★Takingashower

★Cleaningyourteeth

★Leavingthehouse

★Goingtowork

★Dressingachild

★Changingababy

Thebeautyisthatyoudon’thavetodoanythingdifferentlyinordertopractice.Simplybeawareofwhatitisyouusuallydoandthatisthepractice.Noticeasmuchaboutyourexperienceasyoucanintermsofwhatyoufeelphysicallyinthebody,whatyoufeelemotionally,whatthoughtsarepresent,andhowyour

intentionsaffectyouractions.

THEPOWEROFSILENCEThepowerofsilencehasalwaysbeenrecognizedbutitishasneverbeenneededmore than today.Our world is noisier than ever—we have headphones

permanently attached to our ears and we incessantly interact with the worldthroughemails,theInternet,andphones.Althoughthesetechnologieshavetheirbenefits, they can also serve as distractions and give usways to

just avoid being with ourselves. Staying silent and setting aside the

distractionofreadingandinteractingwithotherscanbeliberating.Wearefreedfrom the need to make conversation or to assume a particular

personality,andsilenceallowsus tonoticemoreacutelybothwhat is

happening internally and in the world around us. Our senses are

heightenedandourexperienceissharper,richer,andmoreintense.

TRYTHIS

Droppingintosilencecanfeeldauntingand,unlessyougoawayonretreat,itcanbeimpracticaltoarrangeathome.However,itispossibletobesilentwhiledoingashortactivity,suchaseatingamealorgoingoutforawalk.Youcandeliberatelyswitchoffanygadgets,suchasyourcomputer,cellphone,orMP3player.Experimentbystartingwithashortperiodthatfeelsmanageableand

extenditwhenyoucan.

THEGUIDELINESFORSILENCEVARYBUTGENERALLY

THEYARE:

★Nospeaking(althoughifyoucomeacrosssomeoneelsewhoisnotaware

thatyouareremainingsilent,itisfinetoexchangenecessarywords.)

★Noreading;nolisteningtomusic/radio;nowatchingtelevision.

★Sometimesnoeyecontactissuggested,too—althoughthiscanbringup

strongfeelingsinpeople.Noeyecontactstripsawayanotherwayof

communicating.

★Writingissometimesdiscouragedbutsilencecanalsoopenupawellof

creativity,soitisapersonalchoice.

While in silence, it is fine tocontinuewith routineactivities, suchascooking,cleaning, gardening, walking, and so on. You can, of course, do formalmeditationpracticesaswell.Whenweareinsilence,everythingwedo

ispartofoneseamlesspractice.

Dropping into silence is an opportunity to experience how our “weather”changes fromonemoment to the next.Whenwe are silent,wenoticehow

desperatelywecravestimulationaswebecomeengrossedin,say,reading

instructionsonhowtoturnonafireextinguisherorthelabelonthejamjar.We

mightdoeverythingmoreslowly, aswe areno longer rushingon to the

nextthing;orwemightexperienceaburstofrestlessnessasthestillnessgrates.Wenoticethecolorsonourplateandsubtleflavorsweusuallymiss,andour

senseofsmellisheightened,sowetakemorecareaboutwhatweareeating.We

becomeawareofthejunkthatfillsourmind,thethoughtsthatcircleushour

afterhour.

Beinginsilenceforseveralhoursisnotalwayseasyorenjoyable

butitisalwaysinvaluable.

Whencomingoutofalongerperiodofsilence,suchasadayormore,takecaretoeaseyourselfbackintothenoiseofeverydaylife.Becarefulwhen

doing any activity in which your safety depends on your reflexes, such asdriving,asthesemaybeslowerthanusualatfirst.

Mindfulnesscanhelpusdealwithdifficultemotionsmoreeasilythanwemightdo otherwise. However, before we jump into trying to solve all ourproblems with mindfulness, it is important to have established

somebasicskills, suchas regularly returning to thebreathand tuning in to

thebody(seeChapter2).

Ifwedoapracticetotrytomakeanunpleasantfeelinggoaway,wearegoingtobedisappointed.Thepurposeofthepracticeisnottofixormakethingsbetter,buttopracticebeingwithorperhapssimplyturningtowarddifficultsensations,emotions,andthoughts.Whenwebecomeawareofwhatisgoingoninthebodyandwehaveawillingness toexperienceunpleasantsensations,wemaynoticethemchangingand theymaygoaway,but theymaynot.However, theveryactofbeingcuriousaboutyourexperienceimmediatelyshiftsyou

intothestanceofanobserver,whichmeansyouarelesscaughtupinthe

emotion.

It is important to take small steps topreventyourself feelingoverwhelmedbyfeelings and sensations. Practice on the small irritating things in life.Sometimes thewisest action is to do nothing, and insteadwait for a

timeandaplaceinwhichyouwillfeelsafetopractice.

Rememberthatthebreathisalwaysyouranchor,yourplaceofsafety,andifyoudon’tfeelcomfortablefocusingonthebreath,youcanalwaystakeyourfocustothefeetonthefloorinstead(seeStayingGrounded).

SITTINGANDMOVINGWITHTHEBREATH

Mindfulness of breathing is one of the core practices and I

recommendyoupracticedoing it informally, seeTakingaBreathingSpace,aswell as sometimes doing slightly longer more formal sitting practices, seeMindfulnessofBreathingandTheBreath.

Whenweare feelinganxious. itcanbechallenging tosit still.Ourmind isallover the placewith our thoughts racing here, there, and everywhere. If sittingstill feels toomuch,anoption is to incorporatesomemovement into

your sitting. You could either do this for a few minutes at the start of the

practiceandthen,ifyoustartfeelingsettled,juststop,oryoucandoit

fortheentiretime.

The practice is the same as Mindfulness of Breathing, but we are going tointroduce a small movement of the hands. This is a variation of a

standing exercise done in Qiqong (pronounced “chi-gung”) and if you likemovementpractices,IrecommendfindingoutmoreaboutQiqong.

Before starting you may find it helpful to review the instructions about thebreath.

Whenwearefeelinganxiousitcanbechallengingtositstill

TRYTHIS

Sitinacomfortableposturewithyourhandsinyourlap,palmsup.Youreyescanbeopenorclosed.

Takeyourattentiontothepartofthebodywhereyoufeelthebreathmoststrongly—itcouldbethebelly,thechest,oraroundthenostrilsandlips.Beginbynoticingthebreath—becomingawareofyourbreathrightnow…noticingits

qualitiesandcharacteristics,butnotworryingabouthavingtochangeit.

Asyoubreathein,letyourhandsfloatupward,palmsup,forthelengthofthein-breath…Asyoubreatheout,turnthehandsover,palmsdown,lettingthem

floatbackdowntoyourlap.

Continuedoingthis,movingthehandsintimewiththebreath,breathingin…handsfloatingup;breathingout…handsfloatingdown.

Wheneveryounoticeyourmindbeingpulledawaybythoughts(whichwillhappen),comebacktothebreath,pickingupthemovementofthehands.

REMEMBERTHROUGHOUTTOCULTIVATEASENSEOF

KINDNESSANDCOMPASSIONTOWARDYOURSELFAND

WHATYOUAREDOING.

REDMEANSSTOPHowmanytimeshaveyoudrivenuptotrafficlightsastheychangedfromgreento amber to red and felt your emotions begin to rise?When the lightsare

against us, it can feel as if the whole world is against us, too—

especially if there issomewherewewantorneed tobe.Wetake itpersonally:“Thelightsawmecomingandchangedtored…deliberately.”Doesthatsoundfamiliar?

Whenwefeellikethis,wegetirritatedandpossiblyangry.Perhapsthereis

a recurring story about “this always happens tome” or something

similar.Wemaytightenourgriponthesteeringwheel,ourpalmsmightbegintosweat,perhapswedrumourfingersinthehopeofspeedingthingsupalittle…wemaystartmutteringtoourselvesorperhapssnappingatothersinthecar.Wemightpullouttodoaquicklanechangeinthehopeofgainingasecondortwowhenthelightsgotogreen…

Buthoweverwerespond,ifwewanttokeepourlicensewehavetostopata

red light.No ifs, nobuts, that’s theway it is all over theworld.Getting

irritatedandtenseatsomethingwecandonothingabouthasconsequences:

★Ourfight-or-flightmechanismiskeptonhighalertwithadetrimental

effectonourhealth(seeHowCanMindfulnessHelpUs?).

★Ithasanegativeeffectonouremotions.

★Ourmoodaffectshowweinteractwithothersaswellashowweinterpret

events.

★Whatiftherewasanalternative?Whatifwecouldseetheredlightasan

opportunityratherthananobstacle?

TRYTHIS

Asthelightchangesfromambertoredandyoucometoastop,noticewhatishappeningtoyou…Payingattentiontoyourexperience,noticing…

Whatthoughtsarise?

Whatemotionscanyoufeel?

Whatphysicalsensationsarepresent?Noticinganyfeltsensationsarisinginthebody,particularlypointsofcontactwiththesteeringwheel…Howareyour

shoulders?Yourneck?

REMEMBER…

Wearenottryingtochangeourexperiencebutratherjustnoticingwhatitisandwhat is happening to it,moment bymoment.Often sensationsmight be

subtle. You may not feel or notice anything and that is okay. Making the

intentionofturningtowarditiswhatisimportant.

Wheneveryourmindgetspulledawaybythoughts,justkeepcomingback

to the body; perhaps noticing the rising and falling of the breath, the

expansionandcontractionofthechest,feelingtheweightofthefeetonthefloor,yourhandsonthewheel,yourbodyintheseat…Justsitting.

Reminding yourself that in this moment there is nowhere else to go… Just

being present. Practice as long as

thelightremainsred.

Afterward, reflect on what you

noticed.

Theredlightcanbeasignalto

stopandpayattentiontoour

experience

COMMUTINGCHALLENGESI was sitting on the bus in the sweltering heat—my discomfort

exacerbatedbyheavybagsonmylap.Arathercorpulentgentlemangoton

andtooktheemptyseatnexttome.Althoughhespilledoveronto“myside,”wehadspacebetweenusuntilthebusfilledupandhewasforcedtoedgeovertomakeroomforthosestandingintheaisle.Suddenlyhewassquashedagainstme,hotandsticky,andautomaticallyItutted.AsIfelthisrecoilwebothstartedapologizingsimultaneously. Iknew itwasnothis fault.Mydiscomfortwasasmuchduetotheweightofmybagsandthesunbeatingthroughthewindow.Iexplainedthistohimandapologizedandwithinsecondswewerechattingabouttheunpleasantnessoftheheat.

InthissituationIwasalreadyuncomfortableandmyfellowpassengerwas

simplytheproverbiallaststraw.My“tut”ofdispleasurewasdonewithout

thinking, but as it occurred I was aware of his embarrassment as well as thewiderpictureof thebags (myfault)and theheat (noone’s fault.) Icoulddonothingaboutmyautomaticreaction,but Icouldchoosemynext

response—myapologyandexplanation.Neithermadeupforthepotentialhurt

Icausedhim,butIhopetheywentsomewaytoalleviatingit.

Ifyoucommuteonpublictransport,youwillknowhowfrequentlyyoufind

yourselfintestingsituationswithfellowtravelers.Toooften,wearrive

forworkfrazzledandgrumpybecauseof interactionssuchas this.Butwhat ifwe could do something different—what if we could turn the commute

intoanopportunityforpractice?

TRYTHESE

Thenexttimeyouarefeelingfraughtwhenyoucommute,trydoingoneofthefollowingpractices:

1.Takeyourattentionintothebody,becomingawareofitsresponse.Whatareyoureactingagainst?Noticeanysenseoftightening,contracting,orpullingaway.Asyoubecomeawareofyourexperience,youcanchoosehowyourespond.Youcantakeyourattentiontotheareaoftightnessandexploreit

further.Youcanalsotakeyourattentiontothebreathandusethebreathasananchor,stayingwiththelengthofeachin-breathandeachout-breath.

Alternatively,youcandirectthebreathintothepartofthebodythatfeelstense,breathinginandoutthroughthatspecificarea.

2.Weoftenhaveasetideaofhowsomethingshouldpanoutandwhensomeoneinterfereswiththatscenariowearedisappointed.Thisthenripplesoutintootherinteractions.Instead,ifwecanremainopenaboutpossibleoutcomes,wearelesslikelytohaveparticularexpectations.Forexample,ifyouexpecttogetaseatonabusoratrainandthenyoufindtheyarealltaken,youwillfeeldeprived.Butifyoucanletgoofanyexpectationsofgettingaseatandsimplyremainopentothepossibilityofonebeingavailable,findingorbeingofferedaseatbecomesabonus.Lettinggoofexpectationscanopenupopportunities—youmaysee

somethinginteresting,orreadajobadvertisementoversomeone’sshoulder…thepossibilitiesareendless.

3.Itisusualtofeelmorestressedwhenourchoicesaretakenawayfromus.Usingtheseatscenarioabove,ifwemakeabeelineforanemptyseatand

someonecutsinandtakesit,weusuallyfeelannoyed(likewhensomeonestealsanemptyparkingspaceinfrontof

you.)However,IhavefoundthatifI

makeadeliberatechoicetostopandbowoutofthe“competition,”andoffertheseattotheotherperson,I

don’tfeelharddoneby.Imaystillbestanding,butI’mnotstandingwithacloudofirritationhangingoverme.IfIcanperceivethesituationinanotherwayandbecomeindifferenttogettingaseat,thesituationwillnolongertriggermybody’sstressreactionbecauseitisnotseenastaxing.

4.Manyofusfeelexcessivelytime-pressured—weneedtogetintotheofficebyacertaintimeandifwedon’t,it

willbea“disaster.”Wehavetogetthistrainratherthanwaittwominutesforthenextone,becauseotherwisewe’llbelate.So,wewaitanxiously,notsureiftherewillberoom.Thedoorsopenandwejointhethrongpushingforwardtomakeroomfor“justonemore.”Wecramourselvesinandarriveatworkstressed.Butwhatifyouletthattraingoandwaitforthenextone,oreventheoneafterit?Ifyouarrivesixminuteslater,butinamuchcalmerstate,isthatnotabetterstart

totheday?It’syourchoice.

Ifwecanchangethewaywerelatetoanexperience,itmaycease

beingstressfultous.

BUMPERTOBUMPERThebeautyofmindfulnessmeditationisthat lifealwayspresentsuswith

plentyofopportunitiestopractice.This is another practice to do in the

car ina traffic jam. It is likely tobea longerpractice than that inRedMeansStop,butitisasimilarprocess.

TRYTHIS

Beginbymakinganintentiontobepresentinyourexperience,howevermuchyouwishitweredifferent.

Exploreturningtowardtheexperience—firstnoticinganythoughtsthatmightbearising,notingthemasthoughts…Then,becomeawareofanyemotions,

perhapsnamingthemtoyourself(seeNamingYourDemons)—forexample,“Angerishere,”andacknowledgingtheirpresence,evenifyoufeeltheyareinappropriate.Ifyounoticejudgmentsarisingaroundtheemotions,justnote:

“judging.”

Andthenturnyourattentiontoyourbody.Whatareyounoticinghere?Becomeinterestedinthebody’sresponsetotheexperience.Whatsensationsareyou

feeling?Howwouldyoudescribethem?Wherearethesensationslocated?Aretheyfixedormovingaround?

Continuingexploringtheexperience,becominginterestedinit.Whileyouarestuckhereinyourcar,thereisnothingelsetodobutfindoutabitmoreabout

it…

Afterward,reflectbackonwhatyounoticedwhilepracticingmindfulnessinthetrafficjam.

This practice can be done anywhere you have to wait—for example, at thesupermarketcheck-out,atthebank,andsoon.Makeanintentiontotransformevery line from an obstacle into an opportunity to practice

mindfulness.Bypracticing“beingwith”thesmallirritationsofeverydaylife,

we are practicing turning toward andbeing curious about experiences that areperhapsstressful,butthatarenotgoingtooverwhelmus.

STAYINGGROUNDEDWhen things are feeling difficult, it is easy to become overwhelmed withemotions.Ourthoughtscanquicklycatastrophizeus intoastateof

anxiety. The usual recommendationwhen things get difficult is to go to the

breath,butforsomepeopleandonsomeoccasions,thiscanbehardtodo.Ifwe

arepanickingourbreathingisoftenaffectedandtheideaofturningour

attention to it seems toomuch toask.Thealternative issimpleandcan

alsotakeyouintothebody(whichisthereasonwefocusonthebreath.)

Youcandothispracticeanywhereandnooneneedknowyouaredoingit.

TRYTHIS

Whetheryouarestandingorsittingdown,takeyourattentiontoyourfeetandbecomeawareofthemonthefloor.Notethesensationsofthefeetmakingcontactwiththefloor,perhapsnoticingtouch,warmth,coolness…Become

awareofthefeettouchingthefloor.

Everytimeyourthoughtspullyouawayintothepastorthefuture,justescortyourattentionbacktothefeet.Youcandothisoverandoveragain.

Afterafewminutes,ifyouwouldliketo,expandyourawarenessoutfromthefeettoincludethebreath.Asyoubreathein,imagineyouarebreathingin

throughthefeet…fillingthebodywithair…fillingthebodywithoxygen…andthenbreathingoutthroughthefeet,lettingtheairgo.

Continuedoingthis,breathingindeeplythroughthefeet…breathingout

throughthefeet…aslongasyouwishto,bringingyourattentionbacktothe

feetwheneveritwanders.

NAMINGYOURDEMONSTraditionalBuddhistpracticesincludenaminganyemotionsthatmayarisewhilepracticing,forexample,sayingsilently,“Jealousyishere”orwhateveritisthatyou identify.Naming the emotion in this way objectifies it and the

namerbecomesanobserverwiththeperspectivethatthatentails,

rather than “being jealous,” which suggests being caught up in that emotion.Researchhasalsoshownthattheactofnaminganemotionactivatesapartofthebrain involved in self-regulation. The bare fact of naming is what is

important, rather than any subsequent conclusions youmay draw about that

emotion. Sowhenwe namewhat is arising,we are actively dampening downthatemotion—aswellastakingtheobserverstance.

Thefollowingpracticeisusuallydoneaspartofasittingpractice,butyoucouldalsodo it informally in your everyday lifewhenyounotice difficult emotionsarising.

TRYTHIS

Wheneveryounoticeastrongemotionarising,identifyitandnoteit—forexample,say“Sadnessishere”orsoftlyrepeat“Sadness,sadness,sadness.”Atthesametimenoticewhat“sadness”feelslikeinthebody.Sometimestheremay

bemorethanoneemotionarising—forexample,angermaybethefirst,strongestemotion,butfearisoftenfoundunderlyingit.So,sometimesitcanbehelpfultojustsitandnoticehowemotionswaxandwane.Youmaybesurprised

whenyouidentifywhatcomesup.

Asalways,itisimportanttorememberwithallofthesepracticesthatwearenotdoingthemtomakethemdisappear.Thisisoneoftheparadoxesofmeditation—ifyoupracticewiththeintentionofmakingadifficultemotiongoaway,youwill most likely be disappointed. We are practicing “being with”

whateverarises.

BEFRIENDINGTHEDIFFICULTIf we suffer from a chronic illness or condition, we can have a tendency toidentify strongly with it—for example, we might say to ourselves: “I am ananxiousperson.”.Thisfeelsverysolid,concrete,andpermanent.Itsoundsasifthis is how we are all the time, whereas of course the reality is often verydifferent.Anxietyorpaincancomeandgowith longperiodsofabsence.Thecondition is something that appears from time to time like an

unwanted friend or relative. We can encourage this attitude of

distancingourselvesfromtheconditionbygivingitaname—preferably

somethinghumorous.

Afriendofmine,Elise,wasdiagnosedinherthirtieswithrheumatoidarthritis,apainfulconditionthatcanbeverydebilitatingattimes.Elisecallshercondition“MrArthurItis.”Soshemightsay,“Arthurturnedupattheweekend—absolutepain.Icouldn’tgoout…”Immediately,thereissomedistancebetweenherandthecondition.Shedoesnotwantitandshecannotstopitarrivingoutoftheblue,butshecanstopitdefiningher.Itisonlyonepartofher.

TRYTHIS

Ifyousufferfromanillness,acondition,oraphobia,giveitaname.Forexample,forfear,anxiety,orpain,youcoulduse“MrFear”or“Annie

Anxious,”or“PercyPain.”Whatevernameyouchoose,useitwhenevertheproblemarises.Itwon’tmaketheproblemdisappear,butitmightchangethe

wayyourelatetoit.

Ask“CanIstaywiththisforjustonebreath?”...

Thenstaywithitforjustonemore

JUSTONEBREATHWhetherweareinphysicaloremotionalpain, theideaofbeingabletobear itfor any length of time can seem insupportable.Withmindfulness,weareconstantly“workingtheedge”ofbeingwiththedifficult.

“Workingtheedge”isthedifferencebetweenforcingyourselfwithgrittedteethtoput upwith something,whichoftenhas a feelingof resistance and tension,anddippingyour toe in thewater, testingyourboundariesand limits.Youcanexperimentwithidentifyingthisdifferenceinarangeofscenarios.

Ioftenhaveamentalimageofmyselfinsideagiantplasticbubblethatexpandstoward and into the difficulty, but thenwithdraws and contracts,while all thetimeIremainsafeandprotectedinside.

Muchofoursuffering,whetherphysicalorpsychological,iscausedbythoughtsof having to put up with it for an indeterminate amount of time. We usecatastrophizinglanguage,suchas“Thisiskillingme,”and“Ican’tputupwiththismuchlonger.”

However, Jon Kabat-Zinn suggests reframing your approach and askingyourself.“Can I staywith this for justonebreath?”Afterall, thepain is thereandyoucannot escape it… then, assumingyouare coping, stayingwith it forjustonemorebreath…andsoon.

Theonlyinstructionistostaywithonebreathatanyonetime.Staywith

thelengthofanin-breath,andnoticethetransitionwhereanin-breathbecomesan out-breath, then stay with the length of that out-breath. There is no

expectationofstayingwithmorethanthat.

Anytimeyourthoughtspullyouaway(andtheyprobablywill),justcomebackto the“edge”andopentothepossibilityofstayingwith it for justone

breathmore.

AWALK IN THE RAINRain—it isoftencoldand it is alwayswet.Howdoyouusuallyreact to

going out in the rain? Most of us put on a raincoat, possibly gumboots,

unfurl the umbrella, and tentatively venture out, head down bracing ourselvesliterallyandmetaphoricallyagainsttheelements…

Nexttimeitrains,whynottrysomethingdifferent?

TRYTHIS

Allowingtheraindropstobounceoffyourface,soakingyourhairandtricklingdownyourback…Noticingthebody’sreaction

…perhapsashrinkingawayoradelightinitscoolness…becomingawareofanythoughtsoremotionsarising…

acknowledgingtheirpresencebutbringingtheattentionbacktothebody.Doingthisoverandover...Noticinganytensingofmuscles…locatingtightnessand

acknowledgingit…

Feelingthesensationofwatertouchingskin...tastingraindropsonyourtongue…openingtothesmellofwaterandwetnesseverywhere.Becoming

awareoftemperature…noticinganysenseofbeingpulledintotheexperienceorwantingtopushitaway(andrememberingwearenotseekingaparticular

outcome).

BEINTHERAIN...HOWEVERTHATMAYBE.

OPENINGTOTHEWIDERWORLDWhenwearecaughtupindifficulty,ourworldbecomessmallandcontractedaswe focus totally onour problems.Our thinking also contracts, andsuffering

chronic stress has a negative impact on the brain, preventing new

neurons growing and actually causing areas of the brain to atrophy and die.Whenweare stressed,weareunlikely tobecreativeoropentonew

ideasorwaysofthinking,andwemayfeeloverwhelmed.Connectingtoa

sense of a wider world can help counteract this feeling and create a

smallshiftthatisenoughtosetanewtangent,achangeofdirection.

TRYTHIS

Ifyouarefeelingoverwhelmed,findaplaceoutsidewhereyoucanconnectwithsomespace.Ifyouareinanurbanenvironment,perhapstrytogosomewhere

highsoyoucanriseabovethecrowdedstreets,orfindapatchofgreeninapark.Orperhapsjustlookoutofawindow.Ifyouareinthecountryorbythesea,you

maybeabletofindawide-openspacewithavistaoverlandorsea.

Whetheryouarecontemplatingthewater,theland,orthesky,justsitquietly,and“open”tothatsenseofspaciousness.

Connectingtoasenseoftimelessness:Thismountainthathassurvivedmillennia…orthisvistathathaswitnessedthesmallsorrowsandjoysof

generationsofpeoplebeforeme…orthesewavesthathaverolledonshoreaftershore,connectingfamiliesfromonesideoftheworldtotheanother…oreventhisskythatiseternallybluedespitebeingobscuredbycloudsorrainfromtime

totime.

JUSTSIT,LOOK,ANDRECEIVE.

MOVINGINCLOSERTOPAINWhenIhaveamigraine,thepainisexcruciating—thereisalwaysapointwhenitsuddenlytipsintobecomingunbearableandmyonlyrecourseistoliedowninthedark.However,IhavenoticedthatifIpayattentiontothepain,there

isasofteningand loosening sensation inmy forehead and temples. The

painisstillthere,butthemusclesinmyfacerelaxtheirgripandthereleaseoftensionisnoticeable.WhenIpayattentiontothepain,Icanbegintodisentanglethe sensations.Theprocess is akin to unravelingadensely knottedskein of embroidery threads, gradually beginning to distinguish

specificcolorsasthelooseningcreatessomespacebetweenthe

knots. I canpickout the different rhythms and locations ofmydiscomfort. I

begintowatchthepainratherthanbeingenvelopedinit.Itislikesurfingawaveratherthanbeingpulledunderbyit.

TRYTHIS

Beingwithpainischallengingandsoit’sagoodideatomakethemostofanyopportunitytopracticewithsmallepisodes,suchasaheadache,astubbedtoe,or

astomachache.

Takeyourattentiontothelocationofthepain.Noticewhatishappening.Althoughwearenotdeliberatelysettingouttorelaxtheareaaroundthepain,veryoftentheactoffocusingourattentiononitcausesachangetooccur.

Experimentwithmovingabitclosertothediscomfort.Whatdoyounotice?Youcanretreattotheanchorofthebreathatanytimeyouneedto.Thereisno

enduranceprize.

Noticeanythoughtscirclingthemind.Areyouawareofanyparticularemotions?Whatstoriesareyoutellingyourselfabouttheexperience?Areyouaddingemotionalpaintothephysicalpain?Areyourthoughtshelpfulornot?

Youcanbreakthecycleofruminationbytakingyourattentiontothebody—thiscanbetothepainitself(investigatingitintermsoflocation,characteristics,color,temperature,andsoon),tothebreath,ortophysicalsensations,suchascontactwiththesurfaceyouaresittingorlyingon.Alternatively,youcancreateacocktailofallthree,movingupcloserandthenretreatingtoaplaceofsafetyat

apacethatfeelsmanageable.

Itisimportantnottoexpectthepaintojustdisappearbecauseyoupayattentiontoit.Itwon’t,butpayingattentionistheoppositeofavoidance,soitisthefirst

stepinacceptance.Itisonlythroughacceptancethatwecanchangeourrelationshipwithpain.

Watchthepainratherthanbeingenvelopedinit

BEINGWITHTHEUNPLEASANTMindfulness practice is about turning our attention to whatever comes up—includingtheunpleasant—eventhoughthismayfeelcounterintuitive.However,wecannotexpecttosuddenlyjustbeabletoputupwithdifficult

feelings—it isnotaboutgrittingour teethandbearingwhatevermayhappen.

Instead, we are taking a stance of curiosity and interest, andexploringinordertofindoutmoreaboutwhat“difficult”meansfor

us.Andwedothisbybeginningwiththesmallstuff,theminorirritations,and

unpleasantexperiencesthatweallfaceineverydaylife.

TRYTHIS

Makeanintentiontobecomeawareofanyunpleasanteventsthatcomeupforyoutoday.Thisisaboutnoticingthelittlethings:howitfeelswhensomeonepushesinfrontofyouinthelineorsomeonetakesthelastloafofbreadinthe

store,justbeforeyoureachit…

Noticewhatitisthatyouarelabeling“unpleasant.”Howdoyouknowitisunpleasantforyou?Whatdoyoufeelinthebodyandwhere?Whatthoughtsdoyounoticearising?Whatemotionsarepresent—theremaybemorethanone?

Becuriousaboutwhatpushesyourbuttonsandnoticetheeffectonyou:onyourbody,yourthoughts,andyourmood.Notice,too,howitaffectswhatcomes

next.Howdoyouinteractwithothersafterthisevent?

Asalways,wearedoingthiswithaspiritofcompassionandkindnesstowardourselves.Weallreacttounpleasantexperiencesandthispracticeisaboutusingsuchexperiencesasopportunitiestogetclosertosomethingthatfeelsdifficultandfindingoutmoreaboutit.Bypracticingwiththesmallstuffwearegetting

usedtoturningtowardtheunpleasant—weareexercisingourmuscleofawarenesswithparticularregardtothedifficult.Thiswillstandusingoodsteadwheneverwearefacedwithbiggerdifficulties,suchasillness,jobloss,and

bereavement.

Itcanbehelpfultoreflectbackattheendofthedayandnoticeperhapstwoorthree“unpleasant”events,recordingwhatyoufeltphysicallyinthebody,whatthoughtsandemotionsyounoticed,aswellashowyounowfeel,lookingback.

Isthereanythingaboutthisreflectionthatsurprisesyou?Youcandothispracticeforseveraldaysinarowandthenperhapsrepeatiteveryfewmonths.

Youmightalsoliketotrythecompanionpractice,BeingWiththeGood.

WHERETOGONEXTIfyouhavefoundthepracticesinthisbookhelpful,youmaywanttoconsiderdevelopingyourpracticethroughfurtherreadingandperhapsattendingacourseor joining a sitting group. Always practicing on your own in isolation ischallenging.

Ifyouwishtoestablishadailypractice,acourseisthebestwaytodothis.Thereismuchtobegainedfromsharingyourexperienceandlearningwithothers,andthe guidance of a teacher can be particularly helpful. If youwant to look forgroups local to you, search forMBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction),MBCT (Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy) and/or Vipassana or insightmeditation.Thefirsttwoaresecular,thethirdispartoftheBuddhisttradition—sittinggroupsareoftenlinkedtoaspecificBuddhistorder.

Therearemanybooksaboutmindfulnessmeditationtechniques,mindfulnessforspecificgroups,suchascancer,anxiety,eatingdisorders,andsoon,aswellasdifferent forms of Buddhist meditation. I have listed a few specific titlesopposite,butmanyoftheseauthorshaveproducedothergreatbooks,too.Ihavealsolistedsomeauthorsyoumightliketoexplore.Manyauthorsproduceaudiobooks, which often include guided meditations, and these can be particularlyhelpful.

USEFULWEBSITES

UK

www.bangor.ac.uk/mindfulness Centre forMindfulness Research and Practice,Bangor, North Wales. Buy CDs, learn more about mindfulness professionaltrainingandclassesinNorthWales.

www.bemindful.co.ukLearnmore aboutmindfulness and find a course in theUK.

www.gaiahouse.co.uk Gaia House is a retreat centre offering courses andmeditationretreatsintheBuddhisttradition.

www.londoninsight.orgLondonInsightoffersaprogrammeofeventsbasedontheinsight(Vipassana)meditationtradition.

www.mbct.co.uk Find out more about MBCT and the Oxford MindfulnessCentre.

USA

www.dharma.orgInsightMeditationSociety,Barre,Massachusetts.

www.mindfulnesstapes.comThewebsite of JonKabat-Zinn, selling books andCDs.

www.qigonginstitute.org/main_page/main_page.php Promotes Qigong andEnergyMedicinethroughresearchandeducation.

www.soundstrue.comAudioandvideotitlesanddownloads.

www.spiritrock.orgSpiritRockMeditationCenter isdedicated to the teachingsoftheBuddhaaspresentedintheVipassanatradition.

www.umassmed.edu/cfm/home/index.aspxCenterforMindfulnessinMedicine,HealthCare,andSociety,UniversityofMassachusetts.ProfessionaltrainingandMBSRprograms.

BOOKS

Burch,VidyamalaLivingWellwithPainandIllness:TheMindfulWaytoFreeYourselffromSuffering(Piatkus,2008)

Kabat-Zinn,JonFullCatastropheLiving:UsingtheWisdomofYourBodyandMindtoFaceStress,Pain,andIllness(Delta,1990)Kabat-Zinn,JonWhereverYouGo,ThereYouAre:MindfulnessMeditation inEverydayLife (Hyperion,2005)

Kabat-Zinn, Jon and Myla Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of MindfulParenting(Hyperion,1998)

Kabat-Zinn,Jon,JohnTeasdale,ZindelSegalandMarkWilliams,TheMindfulWay Through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness (TheGuilford Press, 2007) Kornfield, Jack A Path with Heart (Rider, 2002), plusothertitles

Penman,DannyandWilliams,MarkMindfulness:APracticalGuidetoFindingPeaceinaFranticWorld(Piatkus,2011)

Ialso recommendanybooksbyPemaChodron, JosephGoldstein,ThichNhatHahn,and.SharonSalzberg.Therearemanyothergoodbookbooksandauthorsoutthereandreadingonebookwilloftenguideyoutoanotherauthor,soexploreyourlocallibraryandonline,too.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTSEverything I have learned about mindfulness has come from teachers—somefacetofaceandothersthroughtheirbooksandaudioteachings—aswellasfrommy students and my fellow mindfulness teachers, especially Catherine Grey,whoasfriendandco-teachertaughtandsupportedmesomuch.

IoweparticularthankstotheteachersontheMastersprogramattheCentreforMindfulnessResearchandPracticeinNorthWales:TrishBartley,BeccaCrane,DavidElias,andJodyMardula,andespeciallyElunedGoldforhersupportandadvice as my supervisor, as well as to the teachers from the Center forMindfulness inMassachusetts, USA, particularlyMelissa Blacker and PamelaErdmann,andDavidRynickfromBoundlessWayZen.

Iwouldalso like to thankLondonInsightand theregularstreamofwonderfulteachersthere.

ThankyoutotheteamatCicoBooks,inparticulartoDawnBates,SallyPowell,CindyRichards,andGordanaSimakovicforgivingmethisopportunity,andtoAmyEvansforherillustrations.

IgivespecialthankstoScottandmyfamilyforalwaysbeingthereforme,andtoEliseDillsworthforallowingmetoshareherstory.

ABOUTTHEAUTHORANNABLACK began practicingmindfulness as awayofmanaging her own

general and work-related stress. Her professional background in publishingmeans she knows first-hand the pressures of the corporate world and theimportanceofmanagingstress.ShehastaughtmindfulnessintheworkplaceandhasbeenteachingstressreductionthroughmindfulnessincentralLondonsince2006.

AnnahasaMastersinMindfulness-basedApproachestoHealth.ShehastrainedextensivelywithteachersfromtheCentreforMindfulnessResearchandPracticeat Bangor University, and the Center for Mindfulness at the University ofMassachusetts Medical School, USA. She professionally supervises othermindfulness teachers. She has an established personal practice inmindfulnessand meditation—go to www.mindfulness-meditation.now.com. Anna lives inLondon.