ListeningListening

M Zeeshan Khan

ListeningListening

• Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others.

• We listen to obtain information. We listen to understand. We listen for enjoyment. We listen to learn.

ListeningListening

• Depending on the study being quoted, we remember 25-50% of what we hear. That means that when you talk to your boss, colleagues, customers or spouse for 10 minutes, they only really hear 2½-5 minutes of the conversation

ListeningListening

Listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. By becoming a better listener, you will improve your productivity, as well as your ability to influence, persuade , negotiate. What’s more, you’ll avoid conflict and misunderstandings – all necessary for workplace success.

How to listenHow to listen

Great communicators are great listeners. They pay attention and ask questions until they gain a deep and textured understanding of whatever situations they find themselves in.

An intellectual understanding is not enough: great communicators listen till they feel it. They empathize.

If you want to be a better communicator learn to listen, and more importantly, listen to learn.

How to listenHow to listen

As you talk to people, make it a habit to continuously check to confirm that you are understanding them correctly. The more questions you ask, the less tempted you will be to preach or prescribe solutions. How would you feel if your doctor prescribed medication before asking you about your symptoms? The more people talk to you, the more they will feel understood, and the more they will like you.

Ten commandments of good Ten commandments of good listeninglistening

1. Empty your mind. Try to begin with a blank slate. This will help you stay open to things you don't expect -- one of the most powerful things listening can do is open your mind to new ideas or reveal things that were formerly hidden.

Ten commandments of good Ten commandments of good listeninglistening2. Understand the context. Try to figure out what

the person is trying to communicate and why. This will help you act in a manner that's appropriate to the context, and ask the right questions.- Are they just venting or do they want to change something?- What problem do they want to solve?- What result do they want?- Do they want you to do something? If so, what?

Ten commandments of good Ten commandments of good listeninglistening3. Don't get distracted. Your mind will have a

natural tendency to wander, because we can think faster than people can talk. Knowing your learning style can help: Are you visual (learn by seeing), auditory (learn by hearing) or kinesthetic (learn by doing)?

Ten commandments of good Ten commandments of good listeninglistening4. Use follow trails. A follow trail is a simple

question that you can keep asking till you get to the root of something. Just continue to ask the question till you get to the source. You'll be surprised how powerful this one is. Here are some examples of follow trail questions:- And?/and?- Why?/why?- How?/how?

Ten commandments of good Ten commandments of good listeninglistening5. Use body language. Your physical behavior

signals how well you're communicating. The most important signal is your eyes. Make steady eye contact and focus on the person's face. Nodding and leaning forward also signal attention.

Ten commandments of good Ten commandments of good listeninglistening

6. Ask questions. Like a good detective, the art is in asking the right questions, and asking them well.

Ten commandments of good Ten commandments of good listeninglistening• 7 Take notes. It demonstrates that

what the person is saying is important enough for you to write it down. Occasionally, verbally summarize your notes out loud, to show the other person you are hearing and understanding them.

Ten commandments of good Ten commandments of good listeninglistening• 8 Confirm your understanding. As you listen,

think about how the person's thoughts would work in practice. play out scenarios in your mind and ask the person to confirm your understanding. For example, ask the person:- "So if I were to apply this, I would..."- "So what you are saying is..."

Ten commandments of good Ten commandments of good listeninglistening 9 Let the person finish before you speak. We

listen and process information faster than people can talk -- this can result in reacting or answering before someone is finished speaking -- your mind is racing ahead. Not to mention it's rude. Don't interrupt.

Ten commandments of good Ten commandments of good listeninglistening• 10 ) Don't judge too quickly. Suppress your

own reactions -- remember to maintain that blank slate in your mind. Reserve judgment till the end of the conversation (or even later). If you keep an open mind you will reap the full benefit of the conversation and if you don't, you are limiting its potential.