Life Coaching in your Pocket

8/9/2019 Life Coaching in your Pocket

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About the Author

Hester Bancroft is a well-known coach, therapist and

motivational speaker who is passionate about assistingindividuals wishing to establish more positive ways of living

their lives. Hester facilitates transformational changes withinher clients through dealing with the underlying causes of

existing unhelpful behaviours, establishing empowering new behaviours and setting attainable and sustainable goals for thefuture.

Hester has a first class degree in Psychology, is a MasterPractitioner of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) and is a

member of the British Psychological Society. She is alsocurrently undertaking doctoral studies with the world-

renowned Metanoia Institute in London.

Hester BancroftBSc (hons) Psych, M Prac NLP, MBPsS


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Dedication

To all the wonderful women who nurture and support the

people around them; this book is a reminder to also nurtureand support yourself. Honour your needs, embrace your

passions and cherish your dreams.


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Copyright © Hester Bancroft (2015)

The right of Hester Bancroft to be identified as author of this

work has been asserted by her in accordance with section 77 and

78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may bereproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any

form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,

recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the

publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims

for damages.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British

Library.

ISBN 9781784551308

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published (2015)

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd.

25 Canada Square

Canary WharfLondon

E14 5LB

Printed and bound in Great Britain


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Acknowledgments

Thank-you to my husband, Simon, for his unwavering love,

support and encouragement and for making me smile each andevery day. Also thank-you to my three beautiful children, Zoe,

Jessica and Max who have each, in their own unique and

wonderful way, brought such joy, purpose and happiness into my

life. Finally, thank-you to my dear friend Claire whose wisdom

and humour has meant so much to me for so many years.


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CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION 13

CHAPTER 1 17

CHAPTER 2 26

CHAPTER 3 38

CHAPTER 4 53

CHAPTER 5 67

CHAPTER 6 78

CONCLUSION 89


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INTRODUCTION

As women our lives are forever changing; after school or

university we will probably work, we might then commit toa long-term partner, marry, have children, stop work

altogether for a while or work part-time. As our children

grow, we might then return full-time to the workplace or (as

is increasingly common) retrain and begin a second career.

Whilst managing and navigating these distinctly different

phases in our lives, our focus tends to be almost exclusivelyon supporting those in our care: whether that is our partner,our children or, as we get older, our own parents. This focus

on other people’s needs can make it scarily easy for us, as

women, to lose sight of what we ourselves want and need

from life.

To create the life we desire we must have a really good

understanding of not only what is going on for us right now,

but also what we would like to be going on for us, in allareas of our lives, in the future. Allowing ourselves time to

stand back and focus on what it is we need is crucial if wewish to move forward feeling content and truly happy.

There are six key areas in life that we all need to regularlyinvest in. Each chapter in this book covers a key area and

will give you the opportunity to explore each area in depth.


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At the end of each chapter you will also have theopportunity to set some attainable and sustainable goals for

the future.

Self-awareness

A major focus of this book is on increasing self-awareness.

Self-awareness allows us to not only understand ourselvesat a deeper level, but also to recognise and utilise our unique

skills and abilities to the very best of our ability.

Throughout this book then, I will be posing questions to youthat will allow you to gain a deeper understanding of

yourself, your relationships and how you are organising andspending your time. I will also be sharing some key

communication and listening skills; skills that, when used,

will enhance each and every one of your relationships.

Self-reflection

As we all know, self-reflection is a necessary part of anychange, so in order to get the most out of this book, I urge

you to allow yourself the time you need to reflect on youranswers; really open your heart and mind to new

possibilities and new ways of ‘being’ in light of what you

learn about yourself. It would also be useful to keep a

notebook and pen with this book in order that you can

record your answers to the exercises as you do them.Having a notepad handy will also allow you to note down

any additional thoughts and realisations you have along theway.


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Your comfort zone and beyond

When we are looking to make changes, it is also crucially

important to consider our current willingness to step outsideour comfort zone. In our comfort zone we feel relaxed,capable and competent and it is necessary for all of us to

have these times when we feel totally at ease. However, ifwe wish to develop ourselves and to grow as people, it is

also important for us to also be willing to regularly stepoutside our comfort zones. In addition, staying only within

our comfort zone can ultimately leave us feeling bored,unchallenged and unfulfilled.

When we step outside our comfort zone we enter what isknown as our ‘stretch’ zone (or some people call it our

‘learning’ zone). Here we put ourselves in situations that

feel uncomfortable but manageable. In this zone we tend to

feel both excited and nervous; when we have achieved our‘mission’ we often feel exhilarated and (quite rightly)

pleased with ourselves; we may even wish to do it all overagain! Importantly, the more we repeat something in ourstretch zone the easier it is and the bigger our comfort zone

becomes. There is, of course, a risk when we step outsideour comfort zone; things may not work out as we want them

to. If this happens it is crucial we take the learning from theexperience and, if our goal is important to us, consider

alternative ways to reach it.

Some of our biggest goals in life may be beyond our stretchzone in what is known as our ‘stress’ zone (or some people

call it our ‘danger’ zone). This is the zone where we can

feel overwhelmed and anxious and can experience a very

strong desire to return (as quickly as possible) to ourcomfort zone. Our biggest goals, therefore, need to be

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Life Coaching in your Pocket