LeadsThat Actually

Lead

“The most important sentence in the

article is the first one.

If it doesn’t induce the reader to proceed

to the second sentence, your article is

dead.”

William Zinsser

make

want to read

BITE

BITE FINS TAIL

Without these things, a shark will fail--and so will your paragraph!

Just as a shark’s BITE grabs her prey and pulls it in, the TOPIC SENTENCE of your paragraph must grab the reader and pull him in; it must give him a tantalizing glimpse of what is to come, starting his engine of curiosity so he’ll want to read more right now. .

Paragraph(1 Sentence)

Essay/Article(1 Paragraph)

Novel(5 Pages)

The Taffy ModelHow Long You Have to Hook the Reader

BITE-Hook/Lead TAIL-ClosingFINS-Support

Paragraph Topic Sentence

DistinguishedMy topic sentence grabs the reader’s attention, providing a tantalizing glimpse of what is to come and enticing him or her to keep reading.

ProficientMy topic sentence simply tells or lists what is to come. It is clear and focused on a specific corner of the subject, but there is nothing intriguing here.

BasicMy topic sentence is too general. It’s hard to tell what specific corner of the subject my paragraph will be about.

UnsatisfactoryI don’t have a topic sentence; my first sentence does not introduce the subject.

There is no recipe for

writing a good lead,

no one strategy that will always work.

There are only Questions:

Does the topic sentence focus on a narrow corner of the topic?

Does it sound like a person wrote it, or could a machine have written it?

Does the topic sentence bait you with a promise of what’s to come?

Recipes That Have Mostly FailedDo any of them pass the 3-Question Test for you?

Start with an interesting description:“Ashes filled the air when I was around the camp fire. Crackle, crackle it went.”

Start with a sound:“Boom! The truck slammed! Bang! The car door slammed as we got out of the van.”

Start with the past in the present:“It is April 10, 1912, and the Titanic is going to travel all the way from England to America.”

Start with an exclamation:“Yeah! We're going to Disneyland tomorrow!

Start with a thought.“I'm in big trouble now, I thought to myself.”

Start with a complaint.“It seems like we never go swimming at Hickman Pool!”

Start with a surprise.“Wow! I was doing my back hand-spring and I landed it!”

Start with a question.“Have you ever been in a hot air balloon?”

Recipes That Have Mostly FailedDo any of them pass the 3-Question Test for you?

Young writers who start a paragraph

with a question are, more often than

not, confusing the teaser lead With

the topic sentence.

TEASERLEAD

TOPICSENTENCE

Start with a simile.“When we played our recorders it sounded like a lion running his claws down a chalkboard.”

Start with an exclamation. Start with repetition.“Chores! Chores! Chores! Chores are boring!”

Start with extremely strong feeling.“The very first time I saw asparagus I hated it.”

Start with a scary, exciting, or intense moment.“I tried to run, but I couldn't. The monster was getting closer.”

Recipes That Have Mostly FailedDo any of them pass the 3-Question Test for you?

Some Professional Topic Sentences

By the time Eustace Conroy was seven years old, he could throw a knife accurately enough to nail a chipmunk to a tree.

My high school friends have begun to suspect I haven’t told them the full story of my life.

The basketball locker room in the gymnasium at Princeton has no blackboard, no water fountain, and, in fact, no lockers.

I arrived in the Alice at five a.m. with a dog, six dollars, and a small suitcase full of inappropriate clothes.

Some Student Topic Sentences

M y Rooster, Tweety, and I have a strange bond.

One summer, at Lake of the Ozarks, I saved my bratty sister’s life.

I first discovered my fear of heights at the top of the monkey bars.

Amanda’s wreck was on February 12, 2007—she didn’t survive.

Going to camp was something I’d always wanted to do until I got there.

I love my niece and nephew, but I don’t really like them.

Some Student Leads That Work

The shrieks made the yard sound like a war zone, but it was just my little sister’s embarrassing birthday party.

Dark clouds scudding overhead, the ear-splitting ring of a warning siren, raindrops like wet needles--a storm was brewing, and it was coming fast.

If I had bigfoot for a pet, no one would try to mess with me.

First of all, I have to stay in shape, so having an energetic pet to help me exercise is awesome.

This is the time of year when I lie alone on the hill, watching the evening sun leave behind it’s trail like spilled paint flooding the darkening sky.