The Law ShockThe DU Law Society Magazine

77th Session - Vol I

Editorial 2Galway Trip 3The Great Debate 5The Playboy Party 6The Spring Fling 6The Swing Ball 7Committee Orgy 8The Committee 9The Mock Trial 11The Law Ball 12Law Day 13Berlin Trip 13The Moot Court 14Freshers’ Events 15

Contents

Illustrations: Sinéad MercierWords: Grace O’Malley and othersLayout/design: Michael Pidgeon

We believe the craic should wiggle its way into the very masonry of college life, like buddleia, or ringworm. Debates, Mock Tri-als, Dramas, Nights out, Balls! Let the sweet juices of funfunfun run rich and sticky down your lovely throats, gorge on it! Bacchanial year is here! and Potent is the craic!

Revel! at our three annual sensational Balls – Swing Ball, our new Spring Fling formal, and our infamous Law Ball.

Rejoice! at our parties, our social mixers, our receptions, our debates, our lunches.

Relish! the opportunity to hone your es-sential lawyer skills – whether addressing a baying mob in a debate, representing a mock-axe murderer in a Mock Trial, or go-ing straight for gold with the Supreme Court bench in the Moot Court competition.

Rekindle! your goodwill and charitable con-science for a good cause with our annual charity day, Law Day.

Reconnect! your love of travel and fun on the run with Law Soc’s two trips away - to Galway in October, and Berlin in March.

We, the Law Soc guardians of the Craic, do sincerely hope you enjoy your year and we’ll do everything we can to ensure it’s super-sweet. And please remember people, that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there’re still some things that make us all the same: our anatomical layouts, and our love of Lawsoc.

Good luck in all your endeavours,

Sinéad Mercier, Law Shock Editor, PRO Grace O’Malley, Auditor

Hallo, welcome to college and welcome aboard the Lawsoc!

Here at the Lawsoc, we’re here to offer relief from the drudgery of study, the antidote to the grind and slog. We’re here to lend a guiding hand in the true college experi-ence. We’re here to help you get stuck in, make new ultrasound friends for life, and get the real taste for Trinity, without actu-ally licking the cobblestones. We’re here to guide you as you plunge into the throes of your golden, beautiful youth. You guys, we are here. We are most definitely all here.

We Law Sockers know the importance of the 5-a-day, and that everything should be enjoyed in moderation, including modera-tion itself. We also know how important it is for pretty nymphs and fancy pans to sometimes succumb to the sweeter things in life.

You see, my dear Freshers, however much you may feed your throbbing, thrilling bodies with essential vitamins and miner-als, you’ll always crave the glucose-fructose syrup of life, the craic. Om nom nom nom, nom the craic. Nom the shift. Love Life, Love Craic.

Editorial

GalwayGlossary

Every year around Hallowe’en, the people of Galway run for cover, double-padlocking their doors, bolting up their innocent sons and daughters in the hot press for their own protection. The cause of this hysteria, this panic? Why, sure isn’t it only the Law Soc Galway Weekend. A weekend that will have even the most-freshfaced Freshers re-evaluating the choices they’ve made in life, love, and course by the end of the weekend. A staple on the Law Soc calendar ever since Mary Robinson was in her shiftin’ prime, de-scribed by the current auditor as the Mecca of the shift. The concept is simple; take four years of Law students, put them on a yellow bus down to Galway for the weekend, ensure adequate supply of innocent young Freshers to be preyed upon by the elder years, male and fe-male alike, add a healthy dash of sauce and you have all the ingredients for an interest-ing trip on your hands. A costume theme is enforced, though last year this was taken a little too seriously by the cross-dressing Fourth Year lads, eager to show, in the most obvious way, their feminine side to all the delectable young ladies of the country and city alike.

Two-oh–oh-nine was a particularly good trip west with the Law students taking over an entire hostel, allowing us to have a 4am sweaty corridor rave and for some of us to practice our acrobatics in the stair well of the hostel. So, if you’re up for a Western ad-venture like no other, don’t miss out on the Galway trip. Tickets sell out fierce quick, so get in early to avoid disappointment.GALWAY TRIP 2010: OCTOBER 22ND-24TH

Article by Christopher O’ReillyGalway Trip Organiser, 2010: Gavin O’Connell, 3rd Year Rep, oconnega@tcd.ie

Galway Trip

CPs, King’s Head, Hole in the Wall: Fine local establishments built for the sole purpose of getting you the shift. Watch out for any Fourth Year girls holding notepads, sur-veying the scene. Rumour has it they engage in some sort of draft system amongst the incoming class of Freshers. The Grand Slam: An institution in its own right, as much a part of the Galway trip as shattered hopes and dreams. Essentially, there is a prize for the person who scores (shifts) one (1) person from every year in Law in one night. “But wait!” I hear you cry, “Surely that will ruin my reputation among all my new law friends?” Well little Jimmy, let me tell you we have a strict rule that what happens in Galway stays in Galway. Just ask a certain SF student who managed to get a Double Whopper grand slam last year. Supermacs: The McDonalds of the West coast, you will go here after a night out. You will enjoy some of their delicious food. You will have fun. You may puke it up later.

READ’S AD

The Great DebateAs a Fresher you go to a debating society to hear the great minds of our time pon-tificate and posture on the great issues of the day. The student speakers throw their best shapes, shout and scream their op-position into submission and then throw some more shapes while sipping the fin-est vinegar money can buy. It’s fair to say that there’s a fair degree of pretension and makey-uppy grandeur to these events. Sure, the guests may offer nuggets of real insight, everyone may come away feeling more enlightened than before, but the pos-turing of the ‘honourable committee’ and all their minions really sticks in your craw. Where do these guys get off?

The Law Soc keep it real. I mean real real. Yes, we dress up for our debates and we do use the same chamber as the folks men-tioned above. We do not however, swan into said chamber demanding that the gra-cious attendants not look us in the eye. We do not demand that everyone stand upon our arrival. Nor do we inflict upon our audience the acute embarrassment of sit-ting through the archaic game of musical chairs that passes for ‘committee minutes’. The Law Soc swans in, puts the wine on the table for all speakers and gets on with the evening’s entertainment.

This year we bring back the Freshers’ week comedy debate, this time in association with the Comedy Soc. The motion will be controversial, the drink will flow with gay abandon and the jokes will, hopefully, bring a chuckle or two. Then later on in the year we will hold the prestigious Maidens Debating Competition. Last year, the fi-nal of this competition was hosted by the late, great Gerry Ryan (the pair of us are

pictured) who was a former PRO of the Law Soc. This year we hope to host a simi-larly well-known figure to preside over the speeches of the sharpest new speakers of the Law Soc.

The Law Soc will then host a debate in association with the Trinity College Law Review. Far from the whimsy of Freshers’ week, this will be a rather more intellec-tual affair, with topical legal issues being discussed by experts whose credentials are beyond reproach. The TCLR has become the foremost student-written legal journal in Ireland, with its launch last year being presided over by the Honourable Mrs Jus-tice Susan Denham. Our debate should not be missed.

The new year will bring yet more debating highlights. Needless to say it’ll all be dyna-mite. So for good banter, better wine and some Vermouth thrown in for good meas-ure, the Law Soc is your one stop shop. It’s debating, but not as the arseholes would have you endure it.

By Debates Convenor Ronan CostelloFor more information on Debates, contact Ronan at ocoisder@tcd.ie

Let us tell you something right, there’s one place and one place only you have to go if it’s a good ol’ time you’re looking for and that’s the Playboy Party.

You’ve watched enough repeats of “Girls of the Playboy Mansion” on E! Entertainment to know how this goes down. It does exact-ly what it says on the tin like, because it’s a Party and you dress up real scanty as Bun-nies or your man with the dressing gown. And sure lads, if you wantto wear bunny ears too, that’s perfectly fine, we’re all egalitarian here.

The Provost (pictured above) makes his an-nual appearance as Hugh Hefner, but usu-

ally retires home early to his personal Play-boy mansion on College Green, flanked his posse of high-class Irish models.

So all the la-dies, here is your chance to cel-ebrate the beauty and wonder of the rabbit world, and the instrument of power and persua-sion that is the fe-male body.

And guys, keep it classy, and if you be as charmingly lewd and smooth as a silk smoking jacket, your tail-chasing endeav-ours might even end with a peek in the rabbit hole.

Playboy Party

2010 PLAYBOY PARTY: 2ND NOVEMBER

The Spring FlingOur new third formal Prom of the year will be launched this April, the Spring Fling. The final Blowout of the year before the dreaded Exam period. Who will be crowned Homecoming Queen? Will Chad invite Tory or Brittany as his date? Will the crusty old dean finally let his hair down? Find out all this and more in the next edition of the Law Shock!

LawSoc’s first ever Spring Fring will be held in April 2011

Please allow me to explain the magic of the Swing Ball magic to you....through song:

Hope you’ve got some dainty toes you see we’re not expecting many pimps and hoes,Gettin’ down and durty nah man we’re talking fine and purty,

Elegant dashing darling dapper,We want you lindy-hopping like a frivolous flapper.

Shifting those feet will ensure shifting, a ‘meet’But if you want moisture you got to shake to the beat!

Sequins, feathers, satin gloves, some fancy fumes of fragrant smokeIn the craic you’ll have you’re sure to soak!

So Cinderella, take some advice,We can’t have you wallflowering, frightened as mice,

Curled up hair and slicked down moustaches,Practice some Running man and funky dashes,

Shine your shoesDust off those moves

Swing Ball baby needs some well-oiled hooves.

It’s class lads, seriously. Plus there were free Kitkats last year. Nom. 2010 SWING BALL: 23RD NOVEMBER

For more information on Swinging and Balls, contact our Social Secretary Padraig Kelly.Article and song by Sinéad Mercier

Although traditionally the smaller of Law Soc’s two balls, like a true undersized testi-cle, Swing Ball makes up for it with swagger. Swinging Swingers’ Night with unfortunate-ly, and I mean UNFORTUNATELY, only PG swinging. Dress theme is “Roaring Twenties in the Whoring Noughties”, so rouge your knees, roll your stockings down and tuck some hooch into your garters.

DU Law Society’s Swing Ball is a terribly fabulous event that will be glitter and glow in the golden elegant ballroom of the Shel-bourne Hotel. Get those wee feet tappin’, and coat tails flappin’, the paparazzi pappin’ and some fine lady sappin’. Sappin’ the face off ya.

The Swing Ball

Committee OrgyUs Lawsocians have it tough. Guardians of the Craic, we must have the craic constant-ly. Depleting our natural resources until our usual lusty, rakish grins soon resemble strained and skull-like grimaces. Heaven forbid, if one does not worship the god of craic, that ancient and powerful master of Bant and Gant, dryness can settle even within the very soul of a Lawsocian.

Dry rot in one’s home is truly unfortunate, even more so if it permeates the very mu-cus of your bones. We cannot stress the importance of the worship of the Craic. It must be practiced correctly: late at night the worship should begin, dressed in to-gas), sullied by rich food and music, sil-lied by ridiculous jokes, surrounded by the Sound, drunk on vague references to the Law. From the dark heart of the law, contrasted with its sometimes spineless and money-hoarding banality, comes the bright white light! Run into it. Fly, you fools!

Please allow me to share with you the night the 77th Committee first met (members are pictured on the next two pages). Ronan turned up a burning beacon promising the finest of auburn delights clutching in his arms the corpulent flesh of a nymph he had caught early that day. Pa Kelly smacked his lips with envy and mumbled how juicy the free food was even though it was crackers and dry cheddar. Diarmaid Murphy and Eoin Sreenan also took a great interest in the food on offer especially all the ‘hot ta-males’ until Chris O’Reilly interrupted say-ing something about SUGAR!!!! And his eyes already golden brown and manga-like pleaded for the worship to begin. While we were waiting Big Gav told us all about what

flavour olive oil he uses to keep his giant biceps so glossy and powerful . For a sub-ject so moist, it was such a dry tale.

With the clock struck wine o’clock, high priestess Grace O’Malley summoned up the source of the craic, the oily lubrica-tor of bantor and gantor. Holly brought a brontosaurus and taught us how to break it down like it is 10,000,000BC. Pa Kelly already knew, and joined in, pure Lothario Jersey Shore 90210 style. Andrew Mul-lan, all-round nice guy, yeah that’s what you think, turned up riding a bird. One of those Ringwraith things from LOTR 3. Sinead Mercier wasn’t even wearing a skirt, that’s how mad it was.

Siobhan, runner of the wheels within wheels, arrived with the special guests of the evening, Bacchus, Dionysius and iz crew of beetches. Siobhan was glad to be a beeetch. The Brontosaurus started to get a bit unruly, vomming and stampeding which was seriously sly and messy. Thank-fully Matthew Langton the hot-blooded male, dived right in and with no regrets emerged victorious wiping prehistoric drool from his smiling lips. He saved us all. Finally as a sweet lullaby, Amy Deane sung some of her elvish Enya covers, and lulled the party to sleep. James Lochrin was not found until the following morning, cov-ered in bay leaves and far too much glis-tening moisture to be merely attributed to early morning dew. He giggled every time we mentioned ‘nymphs’, ‘wasteful naked-ness’ and ‘centaurs’. But not a word could we get out of him.

Lads, it was one midsummer’s night’s dream come true.

Grace O’MalleyAuditor

omallegm@tcd.ie

The Committeeof the 77th

session of the DU Law Society

Christopher O’ReillyLibrarian

oreillch@tcd.ie

Ronan CostelloDebates Convenor

ocoisder@tcd.ie

Holly ActonMoot CourtConvenor

actonh@tcd.ie

Eoin SreenanMock Trial Convenor

sreenane@tcd.ie

Gavin O’ConnellThird Year Rep.

oconnega@tcd.ie

Sinéad MercierPRO

merciers@tcd.ie

The Committeeof the 77th

session of the DU Law Society

Amy DeaneSecretary

adeane@tcd.ie

Padraig KellySocial Secretarypbkelly@tcd.ie

Andrew MullanSponsorship

Officeramullan@tcd.ie

James LochrinLaw Day

Convenorlochrinj@tcd.ie

Siobhan CarrollFourth Year Rep.carrols4@tcd.ie

Matthew LangtonSecond Year Rep.langtom@tcd.ie

Diarmaid MurphyTreasurer

dimurphy@tcd.ie

Every year the Law Society hosts an event the likes of which is not see anywhere else on the planet. You may have been to the circus, you have may have seen contortion-ists or you may even have sworn to have seen the Elephant Man on a drunken night out in Temple Bar. But in terms of pure jaw dropping entertainment, nothing compares to the Law Society’s Mock Trial Competi-tion.

The origins of this competi-tion are still a point of conten-tion for those who study bor-ing stuff like anthropology, but it is now believed that its tradition has descended di-rectly from the Spanish Inquisition (others say two tossers called Donagh and Sheila started it four years ago, but such people have since been beheaded for heresy). And don’t you worry, the methods of cross-examination have lost none of their fun in the intervening thousand years or so.

Last year’s competition was one of the most controversial in recent history. To be-gin with, and in one of the most abhorrent acts of affirmative action since the deseg-regation of schools in America, a ginger, Donncha ‘Bear Jew’ Conway, was appoint-ed to run the thing. The consequences of this decision were horrific. The tensions between the gingers and those of us who are not infected led to riots in front square, with MIA glorifying the events in her “ X” video. By the time tensions eased Bear Jew Conway had consolidated power by club-bing all his assistants to death, and so the competition ran along in its normal hap-hazard way.

The judges who presided over the compe-tition were their own motley species, and ranged from the legal thinkers of our time to drunks found on the street. The high point as always is the introduction to the competition, given by a man so genial and innocent he makes Nelson Mandela look

like Pol Pot. He gives you the ins and outs, lets you know how best to dig up dirt on witnesses and what standard procedure is for giving the judge a bribe. All the basics for winning the competition.

Anyway, the final was won by a gruesome twosome, Emma Dunne (popularly

believed to be the reincarnation of Yoda) and Diarmaid Murphy, the only man from Longford. Their recipe for winning was a mixture of trumped-up moneylaunder-ing allegations against the opposition and adherence to the motto ‘If you can’t beat them, screw the judge’. Top tip for this year - it worked last time. The only problem for them was that Justice Carney was judging the final. Hmm, I’ll let your imagination do the rest. Justice Carney also livened up the final with numerous declarations of his own greatness and constant re-quests for more bloody steaks and freshly-slaughtered lambs. So while a forklift was required to remove him and numerous carcasses lay strewn on the floor, he is sure to be back next year. So for this year, come one come all. Debauchery guaranteed!

To compete in the Mock Trial Competi-tion, contact Eoin “Taco” Sreenan at eoin.sreenan@gmail.com. Eoin also wrote this article.

The Mock Trial

The Law Ball

THE ONE BALL TO RULE THEM ALLTHE ONE BALL TO FIND THEM

THE ONE BALL TO BRING THEM ALLAND IN THE CANDELIGHT, BIND THEM

Our biggest, most decadent, most fabulous night of the year, the Law Ball is one beauti-ful sight. Brings a tear of joy to the eye to see all our usual hoes and joes getting all spruced up in their ballgowns and fine coats of finery.

On only a truly classy occasion can you delve into a sumptuous four-course meal, sip sweet champagne and waltz and sway the night away.

This year we are holding the classiest night of our calendar in the spectacular majestic ballroom of the Mansion House. So, my lovelies, you know what you have to do now: scrub up, grub up, get a rub-up.

The Law Ball ~ Mansion House ~ 1st Febru-ary ~ Tickets on sale after Christmas

For one day only each year, the whole Law School switches its will to “good” and take a whole day off books to go out roaming the streets rattling buckets to raise money for a charitable cause.

We like to put some “FUN” into fundrais-ing, so there are lots of activities taking place throughout the day, from our an-nual Lecturers vs. Students soccer tourna-ment, our beautyshop of horrors salon, our Quasar arena, raffles, spot prizes, bouncy inflatables, slave auctions, beer pong tour-naments and much, much more.

Our annual charity collection day is this year in aid of the Dublin Rape Crisis Cen-tre. So, please sign-up for Law Day sub-committee or to volunteer your services this year.

To get involved and help LawSoc take over Trinity for a day, contact James Lochrin, Law Day Convenor at lochrinj@tcd.ie.

LAW DAY 2011: LATE FEBRUARY

Law Day

Berlin TripThis year, the Law Soc are going we’ve nev-er gone before. Not just metaphorically, but physically. Someone different, somewhere wild, somewhere FOREIGN.

LawSoc is packing all the fun and ruckus of Galway into a 10kg Ryanair suitcase and flying over to Berlin. For what can only be a weekend of madness and insanity, make Wolfpack on Tour!

precedent with Lawsoc in the City That Stays Awake All Night with New York. Don’t forget to pack your Lederhosen.

The Berlin Trip will run from the 26th of February to the 1st of March, during Hilary Term Reading Week. For more information on the Berlin Trip, contact Secretary Amy Deane on adeane@tcd.ie.

Moot CourtWhat can one say that can truly do justice to the sheer grandeur of the Moot Court competition? This is a true behemoth of a competition, pitting the greatest legal minds in our law school against one an-other. Like Mortal Combat. Without the signature theme tune. Or the skull fireballs. Or the green lycra. It culminates in our Col-lege Final in the GMB Chamber, before our all-conquering heroes march on to Grattan’s Parliament to take on our hated rivals from UCD, Cork and Gal-way.

It’s often described as the “older brother” of the Mock Trial. Nah screw that. It’s often described as “Mock Trial for dry shites”. Of course, this descrip-tion, as well as befoul-ing the Law Shock with language that’s generally heard only when Ronan Costello tries to impress his mates on Facebook, perpetuates a grave injustice upon the in-stitution that is the Moot Court.

The Mock Trial may have shhhtyle, but the Moot Court has s(hhh)ubstance. It’s here that the real doyens of legal knowl-edge emerge from the deepest recesses of the Law library, blinking sheepishly and smearing on sunscreen to protect them-selves from the unfamiliar blazing January sun. Only at the Moot Court do smitten

Supreme Court judges profess their in-fatuation with the cherubic features of the monocle-twirling Dickensian characters at whom we, the audience gaze, similarly enraptured, as their grandiose torrents of legal prose wash over us.

These unique men and women, shunned by all the “cool” kids at every other social event of the year be-cause they’re not up for doing “mad stuff ” like gettin’ the Grand Slam in Galway (see the Galway Glossary) or telling lecturers to “go and shit them-selves”, suddenly avail of the powerful aphrodisiac that is “using loads of quare big words that I can’t understand but jay-sus they sound awful hot kinda like French only not as sexy”. In the GMB, these people are now ob-

jects of desire, and it is then that we real-ise that maybe there is sex appeal beyond Jersey Shore, and maybe, just maybe, these enrobed demi-gods will spare us just a fleeting glance as they sweep triumphant-ly away in the general direction of the 24 hour library.

Article by Diarmaid Murphy. To enter the Moot Court Competition, contact Holly Ac-ton at actonh@tcd.ie.

HARDY BUCKS

LIVE GIGFrIday 24th - 7.30pm - thE GmB

Hosted by LawSoc and Comedy SocTickets: €5

FRESHERS’ WEEK 2010

Come up and join up at the Law Soc stand in Front Square! Only €3!

-Meet’N’Greet Reception in the Atrium Monday night 7.30 – 9.30

-Free Lunch – Friday 12 – 2pm – Atrium – Sand-wiches and Tea and Coffee

LawSoc wants YOU!We will be running our election for the much-coveted position of FIRST YEAR REP on committee in Week 3.First Year Rep gets a say in how the LawSoc is run, and gets free tickets to all our events all year.

To work with subcommittees - Social Secretary, Debates, and Law Day - contact the relevant convenor.

So get involved now!

Keep up to speed, join our Facebook “TCD LAW SOC” group page.