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Last December
A play byWilliam Donnelly
Contact:Mark OrsiniBret Adams Ltd.448 W. 44th St.New York, NY 10036(212)[email protected]
Characters
DORA, late teens, early 20sGUS, late 40s-50s
BOONE, 20sSHERRY, late 40s-50s
WALT, 20sGIN, 20s
CAL, late 20s-early 30sDWIGHT, mid-to-late 20s
[4 Female, 4 Male]
Place
A small Northeastern town.
Time
The week between Christmas and New Year. Near future.
Ideally, the play would be performed November-Decemberand set during the upcoming holiday season.
Last DecemberCopyright © 2015 by William Donnelly
ONE
1. A BAR, CHRISTMAS NIGHT
(GUS and BOONE are seated. DORA enters.)
DORAI have a message.
(No response.)
I have a message.
(Pause. She exits.)
GUSWhat is with this world?
BOONEI dunno.
GUSPeople walkin around . . .
BOONEYou’re telling me . . .
GUSComin into places . . .
BOONEBarging in . . .
GUSTalkin some sorta nonsense . . .
BOONE“I have a message?”
GUSIt’s all gone t’hell.
BOONEStraight to.
Last December 2
GUSHell in a thing with a handle.
(They drink.)
Wanna know part of the problem? It’s the holidays.
BOONEYeah?
GUSPeople get crazy around the holidays.
BOONEI’ve remarked that.
GUSI’ve seen guys . . . Christmas Eve . . . they’re so crazy with pressures they’re ready to jump off abridge.
BOONEIt’s A Wonderful Life.
GUSIt is . . . but on occasion—
BOONENo, I’m saying, that’s what happens in It’s A Wonderful Life.
GUSDoes it?
BOONEJimmy Stewart. He’s on a bridge. That’s what they’re addressing.
GUSNo, but what I’m sayin . . . I seen guys in the world . . . Christmas Eve—
BOONEIt’s a tough time for people.
GUS‘Cause there’s so many concerns. Relatives. Presents. Who believes what.
Last December 3
BOONE“Who believes what?”
GUSDo I wanna say Merry Christmas? Happy Chanukah? People on the street, you wanna befriendly, but there’s a sense of danger.
BOONEWhat are you?
GUSWhadayou mean?
BOONEWhadayou believe?
GUSOh, I don’t believe nothin.
BOONEHah.
GUSI believe Man Is Doomed.
BOONERight.
GUSAnd you wanna know why?
BOONETell me in a minute. I gotta make a deposit.
(BOONE exits to bathroom. GUS notices BOONE has left his wallet. He looks around. Hepicks it up. He opens it. SHERRY enters unnoticed. GUS pockets BOONE’s wallet.)
SHERRYYou boys all set?
GUSGuy’s got trouble you read about.
SHERRYY’don’t say.
Last December 4
GUSHe was tellin me. Separated. Sleepin on a couch . . .
SHERRYSounds tough.
GUSIt is tough. It’s very tough. My heart goes out. Give us a couple more, will ya?
SHERRYOn whose tab?
GUSWell . . .
SHERRY. . . ‘cause you’re about done.
GUSSherry . . .
SHERRYNo.
GUSC’mon . . . We’re here . . . We’re havin fun . . .
SHERRYI’m working. I thought we had an agreement?
GUSJust bring us a couple more.
Bring us a couple more and I’ll do your feet when we get home.
(She starts to exits.) Don’t draw ‘em too quick, right?
(BOONE enters. SHERRY passes. They nearly collide.)
SHERRY‘scuse me.
BOONEJeez.
Last December 5
GUSHEY, THAT’S MY FRIEND THERE! Sorry ‘bout that.
BOONEI’m only walking.
GUSIt’s not you. It’s women. Women are an angry race.
BOONEI guess.
GUSAngry and haughty. There’re certain people, they can only operate in rudeness. It’s a function, Ithink, of their fear.
BOONEFear?
GUS‘Cause the world’s gonna end.
BOONESomeday.
GUSOh, no. No no. And I already know what you’re thinkin. Every couple years, another round ofdoomsday bunk. You’ve heard the talk . . .
BOONEI have.
GUS“New Year’s Eve!” “End of it all!” Ridiculous, right?
BOONEPretty much, yeah.
GUSExactly what I thought. Until I had my Experience.
BOONEYour Experience?
Last December 6
GUSOh, I seen things. I’m a witness. And the Time is Now. Get past the layers of . . . whatever . . .insensitivity, human stupidness . . . there’s an animal knowledge there. And the animal part ofyou knows.
BOONEThat the world’s gonna end?
GUSI’m tellin ya. I got these dogs— (SHERRY enters with two beers. BOONE reaches for his wallet.)I got it.
BOONESure?
GUSMy tab.
(SHERRY exits.)
BOONEThank you.
GUSPlease. So my dogs. Big dog little dog. I’ve had ‘em . . . I don’t know . . . dogs live a whilenowdays. Little one’s been sick as of late.
BOONEWhat’s the problem?
GUSGot a illness. Thing’s been—not to be disgusting, but—she’s been throwin up everywhere. Sheeats, can’t keep nothin down. You know the scenario.
BOONEShe’s a her?
GUSFemale.
BOONEI knew it.
GUSAnyway, God bless her, she looks a wreck. Sluggish. Matted. She looks like a fat kid on a train.
Last December 7
So the other day I can’t take it anymore, I break down, take her to the vet.
BOONEShe hadn’t been to the vet?
GUSNo.
BOONEEver?
GUSI got her free I’m gonna pay for a vet? You’re missin the crux of my thing. I was gonna take herto the vet. I’m on my way to takin her to the vet. I turn around to put the leash on her, she vomits.All over my nice convertible sofa.
BOONEYours?
GUSWell, I use it.
BOONERight.
GUSSo now I got a sick dog, vomit, and a healthy dog who’s all of a sudden very interested in theproblems of my life.
BOONEThere was another dog?
GUSI told you that.
BOONEWhen?
GUSBig dog little dog I said.
BOONEOh, right. I’m there.
Last December 8
GUSOkay. So. Two dogs. I go to the other room t’get a cloth—
BOONESomething to mop up the spill.
GUSCan’t just let it sit there.
BOONEIt’ll soak through the foam.
GUSExactly my concern. I’m tryin to restore order. Hollerin at Smiley—
BOONEThe sick dog?
GUSThe other dog. I’m comforting the sick dog.
BOONEOf course you would.
GUS“There there.”
BOONEShe don’t know.
GUSThen I’m out in the kitchen, grab a sponge, dishrag, come back . . . they’re both standin there.
BOONENear the spill?
GUSThe sick.
BOONEI know what’s next.
GUSSee, you think you would know.
Last December 9
BOONENo, the healthy dog’s eating it, right? Or they both are. Am I right?
GUSRight.
That’s what you’d think.
But the healthy dog?
He’s urinatin on the sick.
BOONEChrist!
GUSLeg up, peein on the other dog’s puke.
BOONEThat is bedlam!
GUSYou should try livin it.
(Pause.)
BOONEI wouldn’t have considered urinating on it.
GUSWho would? But that’s what I’m sayin. This is our last December, brutha. Look at it for itsessence: Big dog sees little dog vomit on the sofa. The weight of the End is approaching. Heknows. The animal knowledge in him—
BOONEThe instinct.
GUSPrecisely what I’m sayin. The instink in him triggers a response: “Dog’s pukin on the sofa. Allbets are off.”
BOONEAnarchy.
Last December 10
GUSAnarchy I’m sayin. “It’s the end of the line,” he’s thinkin. “Consequences do not apply.”
BOONEAnd you think he thought that?
GUSI could see it in him. I could read it on his face. He knows what’s what. He’s a dog but he’s tunedinto his animal side.
BOONEWell that’s all he’s got.
GUSYeah, but he’s workin it.
(Pause.)
BOONESo what happened?
GUSHm?
BOONEWhat happened to the dog?
GUSOh, I cleaned it up.
BOONENo, I mean . . . what happened at the vet?
GUSI didn’t take her t’the vet.
BOONEWhy not?
GUSThe world’s gonna end. What’s the point?
Last December 11
2. WALT’S APARTMENT
(The following morning. WALT is seated at a kitchen table eating cereal, reading a letter.In time he stops and pulls a hair out of his mouth. He pauses. He looks in the bowl. Hestirs the contents. He grabs the cereal box and looks inside. He puts his hand in the boxand fishes around. BOONE enters.)
BOONEI already took it.
WALTWhat.
BOONEThe prize.
WALTThere was hair.
BOONEWhere?
WALTIn my cereal.
BOONEYou should file a complaint.
WALTWhat time you get in last night?
BOONELate. Wallet got stolen.
WALTAt the Nickel?
BOONEDidn’t even know ‘til I got home.
WALTSure you didn’t just lose it?
BOONEWhadid I do? Leave it somewhere? Leave it on the bar?
Last December 12
WALTNever know.
BOONEIs that what you think of me? I’m tellin ya. There are people out there. They’re out there. Andthis is at Christmas.
WALTWhat was in it?
BOONEOh, I had some things. License. People’s phone numbers.
WALTBut as far as money . . .
BOONEOh, there was money.
WALTWas there?
BOONEYeah. ‘Cause that’s where I carry it. So I don’t have to take off my shoe.
WALTRight, but I guess what I’m asking . . . as far as rent . . . ? It’s been three weeks Boone.
BOONECan I eat my breakfast? Can I do that? I got robbed. I’m kinda traumatized.
WALTSorry.
BOONEIt’s a violation you know.
WALTForget I brought it up.
BOONEI’d like to.
Last December 13
WALTSeriously. I got you covered.
BOONEYou sure?
WALTI got you covered.
BOONEThank you, Walt. Thank you.
Any mail?
WALTNo.
BOONE(Of letter.) What’s that?
WALTOh. My sister’s coming.
BOONEWhen?
WALTDoesn’t say.
BOONEWho still writes letters?
WALTMy sister. (Pulling another hair out of his mouth.) What is the story here?
BOONEYou should definitely file a complaint.
WALTIt’s not from them.
BOONEWho?
Last December 14
WALTThe cereal people. (He looks at BOONE.) Is your hair coming out?
BOONEWhat d’you mean?
WALTAre you losing hair?
BOONEWell, yeah, I don’t still have all my hair, obviously—
WALTCheck.
BOONEWhat?
WALTCheck.
BOONECheck my hair?
WALTDo it.
BOONEWalt.
WALTDO IT.
BOONENO.
WALT‘kay.
(He lunges at BOONE’s head.)
BOONEALRIGHT IT’S MINE. It’s all mine. I’m losing hair like a sick cat.
Last December 15
WALTJeez.
BOONESleeping on a couch. Rapidly balding. This is the state of my life.
WALTDidn’t mean to lay into you like that.
BOONENo, hey, you’re protecting the sanitary condition of your home. I understand. I’d do the same. If Ihad a home.
WALTBoone . . .
BOONEI’m just saying, if I was in your position, I’d be like you. But since I’m not. Since I’m homeless.Since I knit my soul to El Diablo . . .
WALTMaybe this will help—
BOONEDo you know she called me last night? Got home the Nickel, phone’s ringing. “Oh, hi,” she says,“I didn’t think you’d be there.” You didn’t think I’d be here why’d you call?
WALTWhere was I?
BOONENo idea. So she’s on the other end saying nothing. Did you call to not talk? Finally: “What doyou want, Gin?” And I said it real nonchalant so as to irritate her. Not nonchalant, but . . . put-upon, you know what I mean?
WALTHaughty.
BOONEYeah. Yeah. So you know what she ends up saying? “You have my Blondie.”
WALTWhat’s that mean?
Last December 16
BOONEShe says I have her Blondie album.
WALTOriginal vinyl?
BOONECD but I don’t like to say CD. You’re missing the crux of my thing. Two in the morning. Why’san estranged wife gotta call you two in the morning to tell you she wants her album?
Because she doesn’t want her album.
She could care about the album. She’s got a bunch of my albums, am I calling her? Blondie’sjust a pretense.
WALTYou think?
BOONEBlondie’s just a device.
WALTSo what did you tell her?
BOONEI told her what she wanted to hear. “You’ll get your Blondie.” And I said it real knowingly. Soshe’d know.
WALTSounds like you caught her off guard.
BOONEOh, I did. I definitely did. You could hear it in the way she hung up.
WALT(Beat.) So you’re gonna do what she asked?
BOONEAbsolutely.
WALTAnd you think that’s a good idea?
BOONEI don’t even listen to Blondie.
Last December 17
WALTRight, but . . .
BOONEWhat?
WALTI don’t wanna involve myself if I shouldn’t.
BOONEWalter. Please. I’m involving you.
WALT(Pause.) Maybe you shouldn’t keep jumping for her.
BOONEWhen you say “jump” . . .
WALTLook. Who am I, right? Last time I had a girl I was going forty-five minutes outta my way to betortured. Least you’re over the phone.
BOONEWho’s this?
WALTThe one from Woonsocket.
BOONEThat clam.
WALTSo what do I know? But it seems to me, when she’s always looking for you to jump, and thenyou do, she knows she has you. And when she knows she has you, if you’ll pardon my saying,she doesn’t respect you. And you’ve not come any farther.
BOONEYou don’t think she respects me?
WALTI don’t know what goes on, Boone.
BOONEBut that’s what you think from what you’ve seen?
Last December 18
WALTI think respect is an issue.
BOONE(Pause.) Thank you.
WALTIt’s just an opinion.
BOONENo, that’s the thing. You’re right. And I need to hear it. She’s always doing this to me. Soon as Imake progress, who’s on the phone? Why wouldn’t it be? Jerk. Do you know how ashamed I amI’m like this?
WALTYou don’t have to be ashamed.
BOONEThe girl is all treachery. She thinks she’s cute but I see. Calling me up. And I’m supposed to,what? Hop on my bike? Bring her a fresh pan of brownies? Screw her. Every time she calls, youknow what that tells me? . . .
I’m still on her mind.
WALTBoone . . .
BOONENo, I know she’s Evil, but I do kinda feel bad.
WALTWhy?
BOONEIt is her album.
WALTLet’s do this—
BOONEWhat, it’s clearly a favorite.
WALTLet’s do this: Give me the CD and I’ll deliver it.
Last December 19
BOONEReally?
WALTThat way, you don’t have to feel bad, and you don’t have to stay in these “patterns.”
BOONEYou don’t mind?
WALTI’d be honored.
BOONEYou’re a Great Man.
WALTStop it.
BOONESeriously. You take me in . . .
WALTC’mon . . .
BOONENo, you take me into your home . . . You’re a Friend.
WALTI do what I can.
BOONE. . . and then you do some more, and I thank you.
I don’t know, Walter. I try to put her out of my mind but I can’t stop thinking.
WALTIt takes time.
BOONEI guess. But it’s weird. Sometimes I don’t even think I’m thinking and then something’ll hit methat’s almost . . . beyond thinking, like . . . a vision . . .
(Lights change. Music. GIN enters and acts out the scene BOONE describes.)
Last December 20
She’s standing there. And it’s night.On a street I’ve never seen.And she’s wearing this dress. Which I’ve also never seen.She’s waiting for someone.And it feels like the past or something, like the movies.And she looks so confident.That’s what kills me. She doesn’t even care.Then up comes this figure.
(The MAN enters wearing a long coat and a mask that obscures his face.)He’s faceless.Almost a shadow.He takes her by the hips.And he whispers in her ear:
BOONE & MANExcuse me . . . are you married?
BOONEAnd she looks at him and says:
BOONE & GINNot very. Not now.
(The lights fade on GIN and the MAN. The MAN exits. GIN remains.)
To think she’s off somewhere saying those things.
WALTIt’ll pass.
BOONEI know. Intellectually, I know, but— Your sister, when she comes? You should try and explain. Ifshe starts to feel I want to wound her . . . make it known it’s not her personally but what sherepresents.
WALTI’ll brief her.
3. A PARKING LOT
(Later that evening. GIN is waiting. WALT enters.)
Last December 21
GINWas there trouble?
WALTNo, I just . . . Hi.
GINHello.
WALTI had some difficulty. Finding the street.
GINReally?
WALTYeah, when we talked, I thought, “Oh, right, that’s the one,” but when I got down here—
I thought you were talking about the street by the dog track. The one on the side, that runsparallel where the . . . what is it . . . where that bait store is, I think. Or it used to be a bait store.You know where I’m talking about, you take a left at those lights, and it’s on the right hand side,NO it’s a chainsaw place or something. I think I think of it as a bait store because I’m picturingthat place near the lake ‘cause you wouldn’t put a bait store— Actually. The river does run outthere, doesn’t it? Doesn’t it cross the road, underneath, and . . . yeah, I think it does, and formsone of the hazards on the golf course maybe? It’s not . . . obviously . . . it’s not a wide pointwhere it hits the course, but I’m pretty sure it’s there because I seem to remember seeing guysfish up there. Off the bridge. Or maybe not.
Now that I think about it I don’t know where I am. You look nice.
GINI’m having dinner.
WALTOh. Am I keeping you?
GINNo. But we did say “six.”
WALTSorry.
GINIf you had a cell phone you could’ve texted.
Last December 22
WALTSure.
GINOr used the GPS.
WALTAlso true.
GINDon’t worry about it. It’s fine.
(Pause.)
WALTSo where you going? If I can ask.
GINSheridan’s.
WALTOh yeah? We used to go there all the time, my family. Steak joint, right?
GINYes.
WALTWe used to love it there. They have this bread they serve with everything. Toast, really. Extrathick slices. I almost wanna say it was grilled.
GINTexas Toast.
WALTHm?
GINThey call it Texas Toast.
WALTDo they?
GINYes, it’s on the menu.
Last December 23
WALTI used to love that stuff. I’d steal my dad’s. Or he’d steal mine. It’s hard to remember.
I remember that toast, though. It was buttered.
Do you like toast?
GINSorry I snapped at you.
WALTNo . . . Did you?
GINI’m just . . . My mind is . . .
WALTI understand.
I have the disc.
GINWhat?
WALTThe disc you called for. The Blondie.
GINOh. Right.
WALTHe said you called pretty late.
GINI didn’t think he’d pick up.
WALTGuess he was just getting in. Someone took his wallet.
GINDid they.
WALTHe thinks at the bar.
Last December 24
GINMade off with a two dollar bill and a Blockbuster card. Quite a score. Has he looked for a placeof his own yet?
WALTWell . . . he’s not really in a position . . .
GINIs that what he said?
WALTNot exactly.
GINBut he’s at least making an effort?
WALTHe’s doing the best he can.
GINAnd the tragic part is I know that that’s true. The Best He Can. Seriously. At what point do yousay: “You know what? I’ve shamed myself enough.” He just— Whatever. I don’t even care.You’re the one who has to live with him.
WALTYeah.
GINYou took him in.
WALTIt’s just a favor. What time you meeting for dinner?
GINAround seven.
WALTShould probably get going.
Anyone I know?
GINI don’t think so.
Last December 25
WALTSomeone from Work?
GINNo.
WALTOh. Someone from Life. I understand. Of course, you have no obligation to tell me.
GINI realize that.
WALT(Pause.) Would you tell me?
GINIt’s my sister.
WALTOh. Oh, God. I’m sorry.
GINIt’s alright.
WALTNo, God, what a jerk. As if it’s my business, right? As if I have a say in . . . Please. You’ll haveto forgive me. I don’t quite . . . know how this works yet.
GINIt’s okay. It’s nice that you’re jealous. It shows that you care. (They kiss.) If he answers next timeI’ll hang up.
WALTThank you.
GINOr I’ll tell him to give back my blender.
4. A RESTAURANT
(CAL is seated. GIN enters.)
CALI ordered toast.
Last December 26
GINI’m not eating toast.
CALYou’re not?
GINI’m off bread.
CALAltogether?
GINAs much as possible.
CALWhen did this happen?
GINI don’t know. While ago.
CALHuh. Off bread.
Is the window alright?
GINSure.
CALIt’s not too drafty . . .
GINNo.
CALWe can switch if you like . . .
GINI’m fine. Been here long?
CALNot really.
Last December 27
Your hair’s different.
GINYeah.
CALIt looks good.
GINThanks.
CALWe missed you at Christmas. I know we said we weren’t going to exchange this year, but . . .
(She reaches into her purse and takes out a small gift box.)
GINWhat’s this?
CALIt’s for you.
GINI thought we said we weren’t exchanging?
CALI know, I just—
GINSo what are you doing?
CALIt’s nothing, it’s just—
GINI don’t have anything for you.
CALI didn’t expect you would.
GINNo, but had I known . . .
CALIt’s just something I saw, I thought of you—
Last December 28
GINBut I’ve got nothing. I don’t want to have to sit here in a public— Really, Callie. That’s a prettyhostile gesture.
CALI didn’t mean anything by it.
GINNo, you didn’t mean it, but c’mon . . . As far as I knew we weren’t exchanging, and now I haveto sit here, I have to open it, and you’re getting nothing.
CALYou don’t have to open it. Open it at home. It’s only earrings.
GINYou got me earrings?
From where?
CALOpen them.
GINNo.
Are they gold?
CALGin . . .
GINI’m only asking because I won’t wear gold and you know that.
CALThay’re not gold.
GINGood.
I’ll get you something tomorrow.
CALYou don’t have to get me anything.
Last December 29
GINThat’s what you said before.
CALWhen it’s Christmas and I see something I can’t help myself. And since you weren’t there—
GINDid you get my message?
CALYes, I got your message, but we were expecting you.
It was a very nice time.
Dwight and I were wondering what you’re doing for New Year’s.
GINHaven’t thought about it.
CALWe were thinking of having a little get together. Nothing fancy. But Dwight suggested we stayin, considering how crazy it’ll be on the streets.
(DORA appears.)
DORAI have a message.
(No response.)
I have a message.
(Pause. She exits.)
GINYou shouldn’t have taken the window seat.
CALPoor thing.
GINI just hate it when they look at you.
CALYou know, it says in my book, despite their hardships, the displaced are usually very spiritual.
Last December 30
More so than people the same age from more comfortable backgrounds.
GINBecause they need to believe. Look at their lives.
CALNo, but it goes much further than that. It said, in a random poll, something like sixty-five percentof homeless answered yes when asked if angels walk among them.
GINI could go out now and get seventy-five percent to say rain is dry. What does that prove exceptthey’re confused?
CALI’m just telling you what my book says.
GINWhat book?
CALThe “Yes” Doctrine.
GINUgh.
CALWhat?
GINEvery month with you . . .
CALWhat?
GINEvery other month, it’s some Process or Prophecy or some other bullshit new religion that’sgonna change you.
CALI like to stay open.
GINI swear to God. You’re the type who sells her house so some yahoo can build him a theme park.
What are you getting?
Last December 31
CALI don’t know.
GINIt’s all meat.
CALNo meat now either?
GINNot really.
CALWhat about seafood?
GINYeah, ‘cause I’m such a fan of mercury.
CALWell, it’s good that we talk, I was going to get you shrimp for New Year’s.
GINWhy?
CALBecause you like it.
GINNo.
CALYes you do. That’s the only reason I’d get it years past. For you and Boone.
GINThat was him.
CAL(Pause.) How is Boone?
GINGot me.
CALHave you seen him?
Last December 32
GINWhy would I?
CALWhatever reason.
GINThere’s no reason, so no.
CALOh. Because I thought I saw you. The other day.
GINWhere?
CALPicking up Dwight. Something let go on his truck, some belt, so I was looking for his building inthe industrial park—I always get lost in there because it all looks the same—anyway, as I waspassing one of the older places, one of the abandoned places, I saw in the parking lot this car—
GINIt wasn’t me.
CALI didn’t finish.
GINNo, I know, but it wasn’t me.
CALWell, whoever it was, there was a resemblance.
GINAre you saying it was me?
CALNo, I’m just—
GINWhy would I be there? With him? In a parking lot? It makes no sense.
CALThat’s why I bring it up.
Last December 33
GINIf it makes no sense, why is it in your head at all?
CALI’m just telling you what I saw.
GINWhen was the last time you had your eyes checked?
(GIN picks up her menu. Pause.)
CALDo you know what you want?
GINI don’t want anything. (She prepares to leave.)
CALWhat are you doing?
GINIt was wrong of me to agree to this place. I can’t eat anything.
CALI thought you liked it here.
GINWell . . .
CALYou used to like it.
GINWhy do you do that? Why do you insist that you know me? I don’t like it here. I’ve never liked ithere. I was dragged here as a child because I had no choice, and now that I have a choice, I’vechosen not to like it.
CALSo we’ll go someplace else.
GINWhat are you doing hanging around parking lots anyway?
CALGin.
Last December 34
GIN(Pause.) I’m not running out on you, I just . . . I can’t. You know that I love you. I just don’t haveyour compulsion to “share.” What do you want me to say?
CALI want you there for New Year’s.
(GIN lingers a moment then exits. Her gift remains on the table.)
5. CAL & DWIGHT’S HOME
(DWIGHT is working to untangle a string of Christmas lights.)
DWIGHT(On phone.) Yah, no, I’m not . . . Luther? I’m not mad. It’s your life. You have to do— Right.Well, I’m disappointed, I’m— This is not my decision. You wanna play, you gotta do your bit,now— Listen. Players play. ‘f you’re a player, you come to practice, you come to the games, youwork. ‘f you’re not, you show up now’n again, you wear the jersey, and you sit, it’s nothing per—That’s Just The Way It Works. I’m not gonna get in the middle, tell you how to live your life.
(CAL enters.)Alls I’m saying . . . you miss a practice, come next game, how can I guarantee you’ll play?Because there’s rules, Luther. Look. We’ll have to see. Well, when we see then we’ll know,alright? Alright. (He hangs up.) Damn kid . . . (To CAL.) I took down the tree.
CALI see that. Any particular reason?
DWIGHTChristmas is done.
CALBut it’s still the holiday season.
DWIGHTYeah, I don’t really buy into that, though.
CALYou may not buy into it but it’s true.
DWIGHTYeah, the people who think that usually have tree fires. You hear that on the phone?
Last December 35
CALI was coming in.
DWIGHTI’m losing a guard. I got a practice on Saturday, I got no point guard.
CALCan’t someone else guard?
DWIGHT(Beat.) Sweetie . . . I appreciate your input—
CALPardon me.
DWIGHTI just don’t know where their minds are.
CALWait a second. You scheduled a practice this Saturday?
DWIGHTYeah.
CALIt’s New Year’s.
DWIGHTIt’s Saturday. Saturday we practice.
CALIsn’t that asking a lot?
DWIGHTThey made a commitment to the Team.
CALThey’re ten-year-old kids! What do you want from them?
DWIGHT(Quietly.) Why are you yelling at me?
CALI’m not, I’m only asking.
Last December 36
DWIGHT(Beat.) Want a little dedication.
CALYou . . . are an adorable man. (She embraces him.)
DWIGHTCallie . . . c’mon . . . I’m all tangled here.
Oh, so, Baer called. We are playing tonight, so—
CALYou’re playing cards tonight?
DWIGHTYeah.
CALKinda late isn’t it?
DWIGHTWhat time is it?
CALAfter eight.
DWIGHTWhere’s your shawl, Granny? Wait, why’re you home so early? She didn’t show.
CALNo, she showed. She just couldn’t stay.
DWIGHTThat— (He picks up the phone.) You want me to call her?
CALHon . . .
DWIGHTI’ll call her right now.
CALAnd what will you say?
Last December 37
DWIGHTI’ll say she’s not yours anymore, she’s mine . . .
CALYour property?
DWIGHT. . . and I’m the only one can treat her bad, yes.
CALMaybe if you sent a nasty note.
DWIGHTI just wanna know where she gets off. Treating you like that. And you’re trying to help.
CALI’d like to help.
DWIGHTBut what does she say?
CAL“I don’t need your help.”
DWIGHTI think I will call her. No one upsets my girl.
CALAw, puppa.
DWIGHTSo, what, she just left you there?
CALShe comes in. I get The Routine. She tells me she’s off bread whatever that means. Before Iknow it, she’s out the door, I don’t even get a meal.
DWIGHTYou haven’t eaten?
CALI had a soda.
DWIGHTDid you say something to upset her?
Last December 38
CALThese days, anything I say . . .
DWIGHTYeah, you say that but . . . as long as I’ve known her . . .
CALThat’s misleading. When you go all the way back, she would always come to me, we couldalways talk, but now whenever I try . . .
Maybe I disgust her.
DWIGHTWhat?
CALNot like that. Because I’m happy. She can see we’re doing well. She knows I’m in a good place.When you’re forced to face someone’s—I don’t mean to sound like a jerk, but—someone’ssuccess against your own failures—
DWIGHTIt’s not like you were taunting her with it.
CALNo.
DWIGHTWere you?
CALNo, but if she felt it, if that’s something she feels, how can I convince her otherwise?
DWIGHTYou’re taking too much on yourself. If things were different, would she be any less miserable?Could be she’s supposed to be miserable. Could be her default setting.
CALWell that sounds . . . fatalistic almost.
DWIGHTI just don’t know what more you can do. She’s the one who’s gonna wake up one day. . .
CALMaybe . . .
Last December 39
DWIGHTShe’s the one who’s gonna realize . . .
CALDon’t even know why I bother.
DWIGHTWhat am I always saying?
CALGive her a gift, I’m the bad guy.
DWIGHTYou need to cut yourself loose.
CALWould if I could. Extract myself from the whole situation.
DWIGHTThere you go.
CALShut her off cold. No birthdays. No Christmas. No access to nieces and nephews. Somedaythey’ll dig up a picture: “Who’s Auntie Gin?” Or maybe it’s best they know nothing. Maybe I’lltell them I was born in the woods.
DWIGHTMaybe we just won’t have kids. (He embraces her.)
CALDon’t you have a game to get to?
DWIGHTCallie . . .
CALNo.
DWIGHTI’m only kidding with you.
CALIf you were kidding it would be a joke.
Last December 40
DWIGHTWhat do you want me to say?
Every time you mention kids—
All these books you got, what do they say? The Planet is Dying. God is not Catholic. You reallywanna bring up a child in that? I don’t think you know what it is to bring life into this shittyworld. And I know kids. I coach kids. They’re not sane. You don’t want that sorta thing runningloose in your house. They screw up everything. Turn you all ugly.
CALWhat does that mean?
DWIGHTNothing, I—
I don’t mean “ugly” like physically—
CALWe don’t have to talk about this now.
DWIGHTCallie, alls I’m saying . . .
CALWhy don’t you go to your game?
(Pause. DWIGHT starts to pick up Christmas lights then stops.)
DWIGHTI’ll take care of that stuff tomorrow.
6. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS
BAR
(GUS talking to SHERRY at the bar.)
GUS. . . and that’s my point. Natural disasters, human disasters, straight up old school barbarism . . .All these things are standard issue. Right outta the playbook. So when you come to this idea ofThe End . . . That’s gotta be somethin like we never even seen before. And it won’t be nomeltdown. No electronic debacle ‘cause some dumb computer can’t get the date right. This isgonna be an inward kinda thing. A rebellion of the animal-self. You watch. Guys’ll be walkin
Last December 41
down the street: “Why am I wearing this suit?” Epiphany. They’ll pound their chests, strip downto nothin, start tearin up the infrastructure. That’s what I’m lookin for anyways.
SHERRYTV says you gotta worry about asteroids.
GUSYeah, I’m more worried about our animal-selves comin back out.
SHERRYSaw somethin else that said the Bible’s comin true.
GUSTV and the Bible been tellin us stuff for years, when have they ever been right?
SHERRYI’m just tellin you what I saw. It was kinda eerie. Somethin about earthquakes and a red cow inJerusalem and extremists tryin to rebuild a temple. Whatever it was, it’s all in the Bible, andthey’re sayin it’s right here upon us.
GUSOh, I got no doubt it’s right here upon us, but if you think it’ll play out like it does in somebook—
SHERRYWho are you to say?
GUSWho are they?
SHERRYThousands of years of human belief, you’re gonna bet on a rebellion of the animal self over plainBiblical judgment?
GUSJudgment? What’s that gonna be? Guy comes out of the sky? Lines us all up? “You, go there,you’re bad.” Nah. Think of the logistics. People hidin. Sayin they’re someone else.
SHERRYIf it’s God he’ll know.
GUSGod . . . If it’s God it’d be done already. Guy like that wouldn’t wait. I think it’s a con. I think ifit was really gonna happen—
Last December 42
SHERRYYou’d have a lot to answer for.
GUSWhat’s that supposed to mean?
SHERRYIf it comes down to sin and bad deeds, you’re gonna run up against a fair deal of resistance.
GUSWho are you— No. I’m a good guy.
SHERRYWhen?
GUSWhen? I did your feet for you like I said.
SHERRYAnd you took twenty bucks for it.
GUSBut the gesture, Sherry . . . I coulda took the money, done nothin at all.
SHERRYLike with that wallet.
GUS(Beat.) You’re sayin things make no kinda sense to me.
SHERRYI saw you take that boy’s wallet, Gus. On Christmas. And you never said a word. That’s a badthing.
GUSDon’t let’s judge each other.
SHERRYI want you to return it.
GUSHold on a sec—
SHERRYI want you to start the year in decency.
Last December 43
GUSFine, but I didn’t do nothin.
SHERRYIf this is the Judgment, you wanna face it with a stolen wallet in your pants?
GUSNo.
SHERRYThen return it. First thing tomorrow.
GUS(Pause.) You think I’m bad? I mean, some of the time, sure, and you’d be right to, but whenyou’re sittin around thinkin of me . . . is that what you think?
(SHERRY says nothing and exits. Pause. DWIGHT enters.)
DWIGHTHow’s it goin?
GUSIt goes. (DWIGHT sits.) Bartender’s out back. BUT SHE CAN’T HIDE FOREVER.
WALT’S CAR
WALTDid you like me before?
GINWhen?
WALTBefore you knew me. When you only knew me through Boone.
GINOh yeah.
WALTReally?
GINYeah, I’ve always liked you. Did you like me?
Last December 44
WALTYou know I did.
GINI didn’t know that.
WALTSure. Since I met you.
GINNo.
WALTSince he first introduced us. That whole time. I’d always be in these “relationships”—which werenever really anything, really—but in my head I was thinking of you.
GINBut you were involved with those girls, it’s not like it was nothing.
WALTNo, it wasn’t “nothing,” it just wasn’t really “anything.”
GINWhat about that one girl . . . you seemed to really like her.
WALTWho?
GINThe one from Woonsocket.
WALTI thought you didn’t like her.
GINI never said that.
WALTOh. ‘Cause we all went out that time and you said, “I wouldn’t expect a big girl to be thatunfunny.”
GINThat doesn’t mean I didn’t like her.
Last December 45
WALTBut I shouldn’t’ve even bothered is my point. No matter how nice she was, no matter how good aperson—
GINBecause she wasn’t right for you.
WALTWell . . .
GINThose girls were never right.
WALTSome were alright.
GINNo, they were all wrong. Especially that one. Big hair, fat ass . . .
WALTShe wasn’t a bad person.
GINNo, but— (Smiles.) Look at you . . . She wasn’t a bad person. She was just wrong.
WALTIt was never really anything anyway.
I’m just glad to be . . . y’know . . . here. Not that I’m glad you guys stopped. You and Boone.‘Cause I wouldn’t wish that on anybody. But between that and this, I’d definitely take this. Well.Minus the guilt. Obviously. But that’s probably the same for you. Unless I’m completely off.
GINIs there a question in there?
WALTDon’t you ever feel guilty?
GINAbout what?
WALTYou don’t?
Last December 46
GINIt’s not that I don’t, I just . . .
I’ve thought a lot about it . . .
WALTAnd what do you think?
GINWell . . . I could feel guilty . . .
WALT. . . uh-huh . . .
GIN. . . but what would that prove?
WALT(Pause.) That’s a really good point.
BAR
(GUS has been staring at DWIGHT.)
DWIGHTThere a problem?
GUSHow do I know you?
DWIGHTI don’t know.
GUSYou work somewhere?
DWIGHTYeah.
GUSWhere?
DWIGHTIndustrial park.
Last December 47
GUSNah, I don’t go there. What else you do?
DWIGHTI coach.
GUSYeah?
DWIGHTSaturday mornings. Junior basketball.
GUSBasketball . . .
You used to play!
DWIGHTA little.
GUSYou used to play for the high school!
DWIGHTI did.
GUSYou were on that championship team!
DWIGHTI was.
GUSAw. You were a player.
DWIGHTWell . . .
GUSI saw a bunch of those games. I used to work over there. At the school.
DWIGHTDidya?
Last December 48
GUSJanitor, yeah. You guys took it all one year.
DWIGHTWe sure did.
GUSI ‘member one game. Against Durfee. They had this huge kid. I don’t recall his name. He lookedlike a safe except with bigger legs. Anyway, time’s runnin out, they’re down one, they dish it tohim in the post . . . and you come from, I think, Worcester or somewhere, strip ‘im from behind.(Imitaing final buzzer.) AAANNNTT.
You know that was a long ride home. For them I’m sayin.
DWIGHTI don’t even remember that.
GUSAw, it was unbelievable. Then you had that tournament game. Eleven for twelve from the floor.
DWIGHTNo . . .
GUSOr ten for twelve, either way. Very impressive. And that year you guys won? You especially . . .It was like watchin some kinda Art.
DWIGHTWell, thank you. Really. It’s nice to hear from someone who appreciates—who was there. Mostpeople, you try and tell ‘em—to adequately convey what went on—they don’t really get it,y’know? But this . . . guy’s like you . . . it’s really gratifying.
GUSHey, don’t thank me. You were the one out there.
You were the best high school guard I ever seen.
DWIGHTI didn’t play guard.
GUSDidn’t ya?
DWIGHTNo.
Last December 49
GUS(Pause.) Tommy Davis.
DWIGHTDwight. Tommy’s my brother.
GUSOh.
Your brother could play.
WALT’S APARTMENT
BOONE(Drunk, wearing a hat.) It was Christmas Eve. In our first apartment. Our presents were wrapped,but we couldn’t afford a tree, so we decorated a coat rack. It was just the two of us. We wanted toopen our presents, so she said, “We’ll go to bed now and pretend it’s tomorrow.” So we went inthe room, got under the covers, closed our eyes, and after a minute she said, “Wake up, sweetie.It’s Christmas.” And we jumped outta bed, opened our gifts, and she got me this hat.
CAR
WALTIt’s hard, though. Not this. This is— This I like. It’s everything surrounding it that’s— It’s likethis is cake . . . right? . . . and everything else is frosting. But, in this case, the frosting—whichyou’d normally think of as the sweet and good thing topping everything off—is not that. It’s theopposite. And it’s the cake—
GINYou’re killing me with the cake.
WALTSorry. I guess what I’m saying is that it’s tough to tell if just feeling that this is okay makes itactually okay, y’know? Because, I’ll tell ya, when I’m here, there’s no question—it’s good andit’s clicking and . . . yeah. But when I’m with Boone . . . and I see him sitting there . . . I can’tdecide what should be more important.
GINI’ll ask you this: If right now . . . this very night . . . I went back to him . . . would he feel bad foryou?
WALTNo.
Last December 50
GINHe’d have nothing to say? No concern at all for your feelings?
WALTProbably not.
GINSo where’s the conflict?
WALT(Pause.) Again . . . solid point.
BAR
GUSSo what brings you out?
DWIGHTWell . . . I was heading to a card game, but . . . to be honest, I just got into it with my wife aboutsome . . . longstanding domestic . . . y’know . . . and I kinda thought I could use a little—
GUSYou’re playin cards, huh?
DWIGHTThinking about it.
GUSNow there’s a Man. Here we are, livin in the shadow of Judgment, this one’s out playin cards.
DWIGHTIt’s just cards.
Where do you get “Judgment?”
GUSJust a thought goin around.
DWIGHTAround where?
GUSYou’ve heard the talk. New Year’s Eve . . . ?
Last December 51
DWIGHTC’mon. You don’t really believe all that.
GUSNormally, no. But I seen some things. I’m a witness. I got these dogs . . . You got a coupleminutes?
DWIGHTActually . . .
GUSDon’t even worry about, just answer me this: Whadayou believe?
DWIGHTAbout what?
GUSAny of it. Faith. Fate. Iniquity.
DWIGHTWell . . .
GUS‘Cause I believe . . . you live, you die. But I don’t know . . . If you’re Bad . . .
If a person does wrong, does it hurt to cover his bases? This is just me thinkin but . . . We’ve alldone wrong. And we none of us know. When that curtain falls— We don’t know.
I’m sorry I thought you were your brother.
DWIGHTIt’s okay.
GUSAnd I’m not just sayin it ‘cause we all could die.
CAL & DWIGHT’S HOME
CAL(Reading) “The notion of a God who punishes His creations for what is in their Nature isludicrous. Attempting to control the behavior of a spouse is like attempting to control the wind orthe mystical Alaskan salmon. Our purpose in relationships is not to bend others to our will, but toembrace their will, and, in so doing, create harmony.”
Last December 52
CAR
WALTBecause I gotta be honest . . . when it comes right down to it . . . What we’re doing? . . . In myheart? . . . I don’t feel it’s wrong.
GINNo, of course not.
But it is.
A STREET
DORAI have a message.
The end will come like a channel changing;like a dream switching;like a drop from a heightinto blackness.The floods, tornadoes, earthquakes and comets—these are but diversions.Cruel jokes.There are strings on our lives,and we feel but cannot see,as our heads jerk toward the fireto keep us heedless of the smoke.
The end will come during the commercial.Not in a blaze, but a hiccup.Not in a blur, but a breath.
In fact, some say, if you look closely,you will notice that the end has come.That it has already come and gone.And we, as we’re equipped,are the lingering crowd—watching the credits—wondering what the Best Boy does.
My name is Heliodora. I am a messenger of the Supreme Council of Fate and Determination.
If for some reason you are not completely satisfied, cancel at any time.
Last December 53
GUSSherry! Come pour my buddy here a drink!
CAL(Reading.) “. . . say Yes to the fact that we are all wounded children.”
BOONEA faceless man.
CAL“Say Yes to all things because Yes is the key.”
GUSSherry!
BOONEComes up behind her.
CAL“Yes is the medicine.”
BOONEHands on her hips.
CAL“Yes is The Way.”
(SHERRY enters.)
BOONEAnd he whispers in her ear.
(CAL’s phone rings.)
WALTI’m afraid I might love you.
(SHERRY stares at DWIGHT. He turns away from her.)
GUSWhatsa matter?
CAL(Answering phone.) Hello?
Last December 54
SHERRY(To GUS, of DWIGHT.) Him I don’t serve.
DORA(To WALT and GIN.) I have a message.
WALTOh my God.
GINWhat?
WALTMy sister.
Two
1. WALT’S APARTMENT
(Morning. DORA is eating cereal. WALT is watching her.)
WALTIs it good?
DORA(She pulls a hair out of her mouth.) No.
WALTI got your letter. I didn’t understand it.
DORAI’m not surprised.
WALTI got the part about you wanting to visit . . .
DORAWhich I’m doing . . .
WALT. . . but I’m a little hazy on the Supreme Council of Fate and Determination stuff.
DORA(Pause.) Do you have a job?
WALTYeah.
DORAThat’s my job.
WALTYou’re a messenger?
DORAYes.
WALTFor the Supreme Council—
Last December 56
DORAYes.
WALTAnd what is that? If you don’t mind my asking.
DORASome . . . who are less informed than others . . . would refer to the whole of the Council as anindividual. And the word they would use to describe that individual is most often some form ofthe word “god.” But, in actuality, the council, being that it’s not an individual, but a group . . .are you with me? . . . is called the Supreme Council of Fate and Determination. And that is who Iwork for.
WALTSo you haven’t been taking your medication.
Does mom know where you are? (DORA shrugs.) Do you think maybe you should call her?
DORAShe doesn’t care where I am. She doesn’t understand my work.
WALTI think it would be good though . . . to let mom know you’re safe.
DORAI don’t have time for that.
WALTIt’ll only take a minute.
DORAThere Is. No. Time. We are four days away from the End. I told mom that. She doesn’t want toface it? Fine. But that is the truth. I came here as a favor because you are my brother and becauseI thought you might like to know: I have been instructed, by my employers, to alert the world thatwe are about to enter into a period which will significantly alter the manner in which people likeyou, i.e. the Unenlightened, will continue to exist. Now, you can either prepare yourself as youdeem necessary or remain ignorant. That’s your call. But be forewarned: If you do ignore me, andwe do meet again in the context of an Afterlife or some other semblance of Eternity, I will say “Itold you so.” You shouldn’t eat that cereal, by the way, it contains pesticides.
WALTWhere are you going?
DORATo the bathroom. Can I not do that around here?
Last December 57
(She exits as BOONE enters.)
BOONEYour sister? She’s cute.
WALTShe’s a messenger of God.
BOONEIs she nice?
2. CAL & DWIGHT’S HOME
(CAL is seated drinking coffee. DWIGHT enters, preparing for work.)
CALYou got in late.
DWIGHTYeah, we went late.
CALDid you have fun?
DWIGHTIt was alright.
CALWho was there?
DWIGHTJust . . . the guys, y’know . . .
CALWhich guys? I mean to say, who?
DWIGHTThe guys, the regular . . . Davey, Carver, Baer . . .
CALReally?
Last December 58
DWIGHTYeah.
CALBaer was there?
DWIGHTDid I not just say . . . ?
CALNo, yeah, you did. I’m just trying to get it straight because Baer called. He called here. Lastnight. Wondering where you were.
DWIGHTMusta been . . . It was probably early. Before I showed. And then I showed. And then we got inthe game . . .
CALYou got in the game . . .
DWIGHTAnd then he forgot . . . to let you know. That was probably it. He probably just forgot.
CALYeah. That was probably it.
3. WALT’S APARTMENT
(BOONE at the table. DORA enters. Pause. She sits across from him.)
DORAAre you bothered by dangerous chemicals?
BOONEWhy, do you have some?
DORAThat cereal. It’s poison.
BOONEOh. I was gonna have waffles.
DORAYou have waffles?
Last December 59
BOONENo. We did, but . . . they got eaten.
DORAIt’s tough to keep waffles.
BOONENo, they were the frozen kind. They keep for awhile.
DORARight. But I mean because they’re good . . . they’re tough to keep.
BOONEOh, you mean because they taste so good.
DORADon’t you find that?
BOONEThat’s precisely what I find.
DORA(Pause.) So you live here.
BOONEYeah. Got separated.
DORAFrom your wife?
BOONEMy “estranged wife.”
DORADo you work?
BOONEI’m in-between things just now.
DORAHm. I’m a messenger of the Supreme Council of Fate and Determination.
BOONEYeah, Walt said.
Last December 60
I lost my wallet Christmas night . . .
DORAI don’t deal with that sort of thing. So Walt left, huh?
BOONEThink he did.
DORAWork I’m guessing?
BOONEI’m not sure he works Mondays.
DORAMaybe he went to see his girl.
BOONEHe doesn’t have a girl.
DORADoesn’t he?
BOONENot that I know of.
DORAI saw him with a girl. When I was out spreading the word.
BOONEThe word?
DORAThat the end is near.
BOONEOh.
DORAThat’s my message.
BOONEOh, I saw you! At the bar. That’s right. You came in and then you left. You look differentcleaned up. And when I’m not drunk.
Last December 61
DORAI don’t remember seeing you.
BOONEWell, you were working. So that’s your message? That the end is near?
DORAThat’s it.
BOONEAnd this is a lock or just something you think?
DORAOh, it’s a lock.
BOONEHuh. Well, you know what I say? Bring It On. I welcome the End.
DORAThat’s the spirit.
BOONEWhat could be worse? The ghetto of my own life.
DORAThings have been bad?
BOONEMy luck, the world would keep going.
You know when you’re alone and you can’t rid yourself of your own stupidity?
DORAI do.
BOONEMy whole life is: “What went wrong? Why won’t she love me?”
DORAYour ex.
BOONEAnd I was crazy for this girl, I was— I’d do anything for her. Then outta the blue. “I’msmothering,” she says, I’m . . . I don’t know . . . that she felt castrated.
Last December 62
DORAAnd this was a girl?
BOONEHow can someone one day— Maybe you can say. When you think that everything’s fine— Howcan they just level you like that?
DORAYou know what they say about boxers. They say a boxer can only get knocked out by the punchhe didn’t see.
BOONEThey say that?
DORAAnd I don’t box, but . . .
BOONEYou believe it’s true.
DORAIt’s like with most things: If you hear it, and it feels true . . .
BOONEMm-hm.
DORAThat’s what I think anyway. There’re a lot of things . . . they happen . . . and you didn’t see themcoming . . . but when you look back . . .
BOONEHindsight . . .
DORA. . . they suddenly make sense.
BOONELike with childhood.
DORAOr some mystery you may have solved.
BOONEAnd it’s all a mystery. This whole life.
Last December 63
So why would a person . . . who was loved . . . when it’s just so clear that you care . . . whywould they pull away like that?
DORAThere are people . . . and they can be quite nice . . . but they run from those who love them.
BOONEBut “why?” Do you see what I mean? WHY DO THEY DO THIS?
DORAPerhaps they feel unworthy.
BOONEYeah?
DORAEither that or they’re mean.
BOONEYes. Thank you.
Unworthy.
This is good. I finally have a name for her treating me like a jerk.
DORAGlad I could help.
BOONEYou’re really sharp on these things.
DORAOh, I’m a genius.
BOONEMaybe now I can get free of her, now that I’ve identified her illness.
DORAI don’t see why not.
BOONE‘Cause I mean, when you look at it, what does she really have?
Last December 64
DORAShe has her self-loathing.
BOONEAnd she can keep that.
DORAYou don’t need it.
BOONEI’m beyond it.
DORAYou’re so beyond it.
BOONEI’m up the road . . . she’s like a dot.
DORAYou’re so beyond it, if you were to call it, you’d need the area code.
BOONEThank you. Really.
I’m curious to see if this newfound clarity will help take care of my visions.
DORAYou have visions?
BOONEAll the time.
DORAMe too!
BOONEWhat are yours about?
DORAAre you familiar with the concept of post-eschatological molecular re-sequencing?
BOONENot even a little.
Last December 65
DORA(Beat.) What are yours about?
BOONEIt’s just one really. And it’s about her. I was telling Walt.
(Lights change. Music. GIN enters.)She’s standing there.I don’t know where. Some street.She’s waiting.
(A MAN enters, masked, this time carrying a blender.)And up comes this figure.A faceless man.He pulls her to him.And they speak:
GINDo you think Boone knows? (The MAN takes off his mask. It is WALT.)
WALTHe hasn’t a clue.
BOONEOh, man . . .
DORAWhat’s the matter?
BOONEThat prick.
4. A PARKING LOT
(In the car. WALT is holding a blender.)
GINYou don’t think he’s suspicious . . .
WALTNo, but if you keep calling . . .
GINI didn’t think he’d be there.
Last December 66
WALTWhere else would he be?
GINWhat exactly do you have against cell phones?
WALTI like my land line, okay? This isn’t even what we’re talking about. I’m worried about my sister.
GINWhy, what happened?
WALTShe’s always had these . . . tendencies.
GINTendencies?
WALTShe’s always had a very active fantasy life. Like when we were young, she used to make up allthese people and situations to surround herself with.
GINFor instance . . . ?
WALTShe had imaginary friends she would refer to as “disciples.” And for a while, in junior high, shepretended she was a sheep. We went along with it, seemed harmless enough, but after a fewmonths—
GINShe was allowed to be a sheep for a period of months?
WALTIt was discouraged after a period of months. She kept up with it for about a year.
GINAnd no one stopped her?
WALTIt’s what she did. She wasn’t crazy.
GINBut she is now.
Last December 67
WALTI don’t know what she is now. She has problems.
GINAnd now they’re yours.
WALTWell. Yes. I— I feel I have an obligation.
GINOf course you do. But what about the things in your own life which demand your immediateattention?
WALTLike what?
GINLike this. Whatever this is.
WALTYou know what this is.
GINNo, see, you tell me what it is, but I don’t know if that makes it so.
WALTI told you the other night.
GINWhat did you tell me?
WALTDon’t make me say it.
GINWell, Walter . . . how can we talk?
WALTIt’s just awkward when it’s light out. You seriously don’t remember? We were in the car.
GINWe’re always in the car! Am I a cheerleader? When are you gonna take me someplace thatdoesn’t have bucket seats?
Last December 68
WALTWhat else can we do?
GINWe could get a room somewhere. We could go to your house.
WALTYou know we can’t. What about your place?
GINI have a cat.
WALTAnd . . . ?
GINYou’re not allergic?
WALTNo.
GINWell . . . She can’t be disturbed, don’t—
WALTGin—
GIN—Don’t try and divert me.
WALTYou know we can’t go to my house.
GINWell, maybe that should change, Walter. Maybe that’s one of the things which demand yourimmediate attention.
WALTWhat do you want me to do? You want me to kick him out? If that’s what we’re saying let’s sayit. Take him by the neck, throw him in the street. That’s something you’d like to see?
GIN(Beat.) I wouldn’t object to that.
I’m not telling you what to do.
Last December 69
WALTOf course not.
GINI just think it’s best.
WALTIt’s what you think.
GINListen. (She takes WALT’s hand and places it on her thigh.) It means a lot to me, at this point intime, to have someone who’s there for me. If you’re not that person, that’s my problem. But Idon’t think that’s the case. What do you think?
WALTYou’ll have it. He’s out.
GINThank you. (She returns his hand.) Now about your sister . . .
5. SHERRY’S APARTMENT
(That evening. GUS enters with key in hand. DWIGHT is behind him carrying a gift.)
GUS. . . it’s one of those things. Certain people . . . you know the type . . . they can only operate inrudeness.
DWIGHTI understand.
GUSI’m sure she didn’t mean to offend you last night. A lot of people she won’t serve. SWEETIE? Sheworks all these hours . . . there’s pressures there . . . SHERRY? I know she’s here ‘cause the kid’shere.
DWIGHTWho?
GUSNot her’s. Her daughter’s. They’re down for the holidays.
Last December 70
DWIGHTThere’s a kid here now?
GUSWanna know the truth? It’s kinda drivin me nuts. But I’m fightin my natural urge to complain.
DWIGHTMaybe I should come back.
GUSWhadayou talkin about? You’re all the way down here.
DWIGHTI didn’t know you had guests.
GUSIt’s just the kid. You don’t like kids? (SHERRY enters.)There she is. Hey, honey, look who I runinto. My buddy Tommy here //1 wanted to see—
SHERRYDwight.
GUSRight. My buddy Dwight . . . I run into him this mornin at breakfast. Said he wanted to stop byafter work to talk about last night. So I brung him here. To talk.
And I did so rather selflessly.
SHERRYYou return that wallet?
GUSDay got away from me. You know what I did though? I tried a grapefruit.
SHERRYSo your answer is no.
GUSIt’s on the list. I think you’re missin the essential—
SHERRYI don’t think I am.
1 This symbol (//) indicates where the next actor to speak should begin to cut off the actor currently speaking.
Last December 71
GUSAwright.
So what do we have to talk about?
SHERRYWould you go buy me some cigarettes, please.
GUSI think I got a half a pack // in my—
SHERRYGo for a walk so you won’t be here for a while, please?
GUS(He begins to exit then stops.) I hope you take into account that I did this thing and I didn’t evenask for a gratuity.
SHERRYNoted.
(GUS exits.)
DWIGHTI brought a . . . something for the tree . . . for underneath . . .
SHERRYTree’s gone.
DWIGHTA woman after my own heart.
SHERRYHow’s that?
DWIGHTIt’s not important. Where should I—
SHERRYRight there is—
DWIGHTHere?
Last December 72
SHERRYPut it down.
DWIGHTSorry. I’m a little . . . As you can imagine.
Your husband . . . he’s very nice.
SHERRYHe’s not my husband.
DWIGHTHe’s not.
SHERRYNo, we’re livin in sin.
DWIGHTOh . . .
SHERRYActually, he’s livin in sin and I’m payin for it.
DWIGHTEither way. Seems like a nice guy.
I, uh . . . don’t really know where to start.
SHERRYShe’s not here.
DWIGHTI didn’t think she’d be.
SHERRYNo?
DWIGHTThat’s not why I came. How . . . how are you?
SHERRYI’m fine.
DWIGHTYeah? Good. Good. Me too. Things’ve been . . . Well . . . I’m coaching now. Married.
Last December 73
SHERRYAre ya.
DWIGHTYeah, she’s . . . I don’t think you’d know her. She’s . . . a little older. She didn’t go to schoolwith Pattie and me.
SHERRYDon’t. Okay?
DWIGHTWhat did I do?
SHERRYTo hear my daughter’s name come outta your mouth . . . Just don’t.
DWIGHTSorry.
How is she?
You’d rather I leave. . .
SHERRYNo . . .
DWIGHTIt’s okay if you do. It wouldn’t be wrong.
SHERRYIf I wanted you to leave . . . Believe me.
DWIGHTI believe you.
So . . .
SHERRYLookit, why don’t you just sit tight a minute, I got a couple things I need to take care of.
DWIGHTCan I help?
Last December 74
SHERRYYou wanna help with the kid?
Why start now?
6. CAL & DWIGHT’S HOME
(BOONE, DORA, and CAL drinking coffee.)
BOONEI miss this.
CALDo you?
BOONEI missed it at Christmas.
CALWhat did you do this year?
BOONEGot some Chinese. Then that night I went to the Nickel. Got robbed.
CALThat’s no way to celebrate.
DORAI cooked a pigeon in a discarded oil drum.
CALOh my.
DORAIt’s better if you call it squab.
CALThat . . . does sound better.
BOONEI’ve been meaning to send you guys a card.
CALThat’s okay.
Last December 75
BOONENo, I want to. Just because things didn’t work out with your sister . . .
CALDon’t even, Boone. Anytime. Anything you need. We’re still here for you.
BOONEThank you. I appreciate that.
So, what I was wondering . . .
DORAWhat do you know about the deviltry?
CALThe what now?
DORAThe shenanigans. Between your kin and mine. You know.
CALI have to say . . . she tells me nothing.
DORAShe’s cold to you.
CALWell, she’s not quite . . . forthcoming.
DORAShe’s a dodger. An island.
CALThose things . . . she can be.
BOONEI’d say so too.
DORAAnd on the Walt front . . .
BOONEThat pud.
Last December 76
CALYou’re sure they’re together?
BOONEI’m pretty— Well . . . Dora?
DORAWe’re sure.
CALYou saw them?
DORAI saw. And I know.
CAL(To BOONE.) What is with these people?
BOONE(To DORA.) Weren’t we just saying?
CALYou give yourself over. You say, “There. Now I trust you.”
BOONELike that’s an easy thing.
CALOh, yeah, it’s so easy.
BOONENo wonder we’re guarded. Well. Not to speak for you.
CALNo, we all are. And of course we are. Why wouldn’t we be? The way they treat us. Making upcard games. Lying to our faces.
BOONEUh-oh.
CALJust don’t blatantly lie, you know? Don’t lie when you don’t know the truth.
BOONEWhat did he do?
Last December 77
CALI don’t even know. I’m not certain of anything.
BOONEBut you suspect? You have suspicions?
CALI think . . . I really can’t say . . .
DORAYou think he’s screwing around?
Pretend you know me.
CALYes. That’s what I think.
BOONEI’m so sorry.
CALThank you, but . . . it’s okay, really, because my book says // interestingly enough—
DORAYour book? (CAL hands her the book.) The “Yes” Doctrine.
CALIt says we are all individual people. Independent and controlling of our own destinies. And whenwe try to capture each other—
DORACapture?
CALIn Prisons of Demand. In “Relationships.”
DORARight.
CAL—we are asking of our partners not “devotion” but “compliance.”
DORA(Beat.) And you believe this crap?
Last December 78
CALWell . . . believe, // I mean . . .
DORAThis is something you read, and accept, and adhere to?
CALI . . .
DORAIf your man is fucking around he needs to know.
BOONEDora . . .
DORANo, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to insult your taste, but let’s be honest. You don’t feel At Ease aboutthis. You don’t feel Adult and Reasonable and Rational about this. You probably feel betrayed.So be betrayed. This is not a flaw . . . to feel what you feel. Tear into this boy. He made you apromise. Remind him. This life is yours people. Settle up now ‘cause we’re just about done.
Put it to you this way: Do you respect him?
CALI do.
DORAThen talk to him.
BOONE(Long pause.) She’s pretty forward, yeah?
7. SHERRY’S APARTMENT
(SHERRY re-enters.)
DWIGHTLook, I don’t mean to upset your whole— You got a life, I know that.
SHERRYYou don’t upset me.
Last December 79
DWIGHTI just figured . . . If I hadn’t run into you when I did, who can say, right? But since it happened,since I’m here—not that it would cure anything, but— If there was something I could do.
SHERRYDo.
DWIGHTTo square things. With you.
SHERRYSomething you could do.
DWIGHTYes. What can be done? Is there anything?
SHERRYMaybe you could shovel my driveway.
DWIGHT(Beat.) Is that something you’d like?
SHERRYWhat are you asking me?
DWIGHTI know it seems strange . . .
SHERRYBut it doesn’t, is the thing. There’s nothin strange about it. Not even the timing. I’m sure you gota lotta guilt on your head. His birthday comes up, you feel that emptiness . . . I recognize you’rehuman. But you’re gonna have to realize—you did what you did and we’re over it. Pattieespecially. And believe me, I can understand why you’d worry. Back then? She was a terror. Noargument. But to see her now—up there, her place in the city—she is the strongest person Iknow. And she is magic with that kid.
I got no interest in lettin you off. Out of anyone, I’m the one who’d still like to see you swing.But it’s all done now. If you’re lookin for peace, you’re lookin the wrong place. Go to your ownlife. Do right there. Beyond that . . .
DWIGHT(Pause.) Does he ask about me?
SHERRYNot when he’s here.
Last December 80
DWIGHTBut he knows?
SHERRYWho knows what kids know. I’m just “Nana.”
DWIGHTBut they’re good, though?
SHERRYThey’re perfect. Let ‘em stay that way.
DWIGHT(Long pause.) Thank you.
SHERRYNo, I’m // not after—
DWIGHTReally. Thank you.
SHERRYIt’s okay.
I’m actually proud. I always said, I ever saw you again I’d hit you with a rolling pin.
DWIGHTBut you held back.
SHERRYI don’t actually own one.
So this box here, what is it, somethin for me?
DWIGHTNo, I . . . got him a truck. Thought maybe he could . . . I dunno . . . take it out, push it around inthe dirt. I used to like doing that. Figured he might too.
SHERRYI’m sure he’ll love it.
You wanna see him?
Last December 81
DWIGHT(Pause.) No. I don’t want to cause a disturbance or anything.
SHERRYHe’s sleepin. If you’re quiet . . .
DWIGHTYou sure?
SHERRYGo look at your son.
DWIGHTThank you. Thank you, Mrs.—
SHERRYShhh . . .
(DWIGHT moves into an isolated pool of light. He looks at the boy.)
DWIGHTWhatever you do, don’t wake up or your nana’s gonna kill me.
Jesus, look at you. You probably don’t know this yet, but people always say that kids take on thefeatures of the family—like the looks—but, I swear, I never thought you’d actually have my . . .face, y’know? I tried to picture it, but . . . my nose . . . my eyebrows. You’re a good lookin kid.
I don’t know if they got you involved in any sort of hoops program up there, but you shouldreally consider it. You’re never too young and if there’s anything to this genetics business,there’s bound to be some talent there.
So, listen, I didn’t come here just to rattle on. I’m not too good at talking t’little guys like you. Ijust thought . . . I just felt . . . that maybe it’d be a good thing if I was to, ah, I dunno, apologize.For being stupid. For being young. For being too afraid to meet you before now.
It’s nice to meet you.
I’ll, ah . . . get outta your way now. Let you get back to the business at hand. You grow up good,okay? Grow up right.
Where’d you learn to sleep like that, it’s fuckin beautiful.
Good night, son. ‘Night.
Last December 82
END SAMPLE
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