Knowing Urself Data

8/3/2019 Knowing Urself Data

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"Know thyself".

Socrates

"It is wisdom to know others. It is enlightenment to know one's self."

Lao-Tzu

If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.

Maxwell Maltz quotes (US plastic surgeon, motivational author, and creator of the Psycho-C

Know Yourself

http://www.essentiallifeskills.net/knowyourself.html

To know yourself is your first priority.

How can you set goals, go about life, and have relationships if you don't

know who you are or what you want? You really can't.

To not know yourselfleads to confusion and wasting much time in hit and

miss situations.

We tend to underestimate the importance of knowing ourselves. Many of us

go through each day reacting to events and just getting by rather than

making conscious choices based on who we are and what we want.

When we don't know where we are headed it's hard to set goals, get

motivated and determine the best course of action. Before we can do any ofthese things we must establish who we are.

To know yourself:

Be aware of your strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes

Observe and be aware of your moods, reactions and responses to what is happening

around you
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Become aware of how these moods and emotions affect your state of mind

Examine how you interact with others

Observe how your environment affects you

Knowing and understanding yourself better, in turn, leads to better decisionmaking, setting and

reaching appropriate goals and altogether living more productively.

How to know yourself better?

12 March 2011, 2:29 am

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How to know yourself better?

Do you know yourself? Do you know who you really are? How to get to know

yourself better?

There are many things you should know about yourself, but first you have to improve

your self awareness and. Self awareness means you have to be aware of your habits,

behaviors, emotions, and how you react to various situations. Many people dont

understand the depths of their personalities and end up living life not knowing who

they really are.

To know yourself and who you are is an on-going journey that doesnt have an end.

What you have to remember is that the more you get to know yourself, the more you

will increase your self confidence, the better you will think, the better you will

behave, and the faster you will achieve your goals.

How to know yourself

To improve your self awareness and to know yourself better, follow the quick

guide below:

1. Know your strengths

Every individual in this world has various talents and skills. You start learning from

childhood by observing what others do such as your parents, friends, and family,

which psychologists refer to by name of cognitive learning.
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What this means is that you first become aware of a certain behavior, then the

behavior becomes a new habit of yours as you start applying it to your life.

Start asking yourself questions like What am good at? What are my strengths? Do I

have a good voice than I can develop for singing? What you have to do is recognize

your strongest areas and begin to strengthen your talents.

2. Know your weaknesses

Just like every person, everyone also has some weaknesses along with strengths.

Weaknesses could be negative habits, excessive fear, excessive shyness or any habit

that is undesirable.

The first step you need to do to overcome your weakness is to recognize that you have

one, which is a necessary step you need to take if you want to know yourself better.

There are some people who refuse to acknowledge that they do have a weakness,hence they fail to grow, improve, and enhance themselves.

3. Know your purpose

Do you know what you want out of life? What you know what motivates you to give

your best? What is your purpose in life?

As I mentioned in my book the ultimate guide to achieve your goals you have to

know your purpose in life and what you want to achieve and accomplish, otherwise,

you would stay living life aimlessly.

When I wanted to find my purpose in life, I had to dig deep inside my soul to find

what I really want to achieve. One of the best questions that helped me find my

purpose was when I asked myself What would I be doing if I were a billionaire?

This question has helped me know exactly what I couldnt live without which is to be

in the personal development field to help people accomplish their goals in life and

make a positive difference in their lives and mine.

4. Know your beliefs

Different men have different opinions; some like apples, some onions

Everyone has his own opinions and beliefs. What you believe in and what you like

can be good for you, but not for someone else. The contrary is true as well, what is

good for someone else, doesnt mean it is good for you.
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It is ok to believe something that your friend doesnt believe in. Each has his own

opinion, the important part is you have to know your opinions and beliefs, so you can

know yourself better.

Let me ask you a question, wouldnt life be boring if we were all alike? Having

different opinions, beliefs, and likes are what make life sweet as there is variety anduniqueness.

Always remember that if you want to live a successful life, you need to know who

you are. The more you know yourself, the more successful life you will lead.

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great-tips/

He who knows others is learned;

He who knows himself is wise.

Lao-tzu

Who are you? What is your daily and weekly life really about?

Those not always easy questions to answer. So today Id like to share three tips that have helped me

to get to know myself a bit better and to see my life more accurately.

1. What part of you do you see in them?

What we see in others is quite often what we see in ourselves. And what irritates us in people may be

what we dont like in ourselves. What you judge in someone you are actually judging in yourself.

Therefore what you notice and what irritates you in others can teach you important things about

yourself. Things you may not be aware of. In a way people can be like a mirror for you. A mirror that

can help you to learn more about yourself, what you fear and how you may be fooling yourself.

So, what people generally irritate you? What do you often judge or criticize people for?

What can that tell you about you?

2. Do the unusual thing.

When faced with a choice in your daily life, step back for a minute and think. Then take the option

that is and feels unusual for you.
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If you often back down just dont for this one time. If you often get into arguments with people then

just this one time dont and instead just let it go or treat the other person with kindness. Do the

opposite of what you usually do and see what happens (while using common sense of course). Do

something new and something you wouldnt expect from yourself.

This is a fun and great way to get new experiences and to learn things about the world and about

yourself that you wouldnt if you kept going like you usually do. Its also a great way to be surprised

about life as things often turn out more positively than in your fear filled daydreams if you just take

action.

Getting stuck in the same old routine until it becomes a rut can suck the life out of you. Doing the

unusual thing in small and big situations, no matter how it goes, is a great way to feel alive again and

to reveal aspects of yourself that may have been hidden from you.

3. Journal.

Journaling is a fine way to get a more accurate picture of yourself and your life. A few ways that I

have used journaling to get to know myself and my life are:

Journal about how you use your time. Just write down what you do during one day. Or

during one week. Write down what you spend your time on and how much time you spend on

each thing. You may, as me, be surprised about how much time you waste on procrastinating and

pretty pointless busy work. Even if you may have an image of yourself as an effective person.

Journal about what you think.What do you think about during a normal day? Or aweek? Write it all down. By doing so you can find recurring patterns of thought such as fears or

maybe that you spend a lot of time regretting what happened in the past. Or you may find that

you are actually a more positive person than you may think. This is a really interesting exercise

because it can help you spot both positive things and negative things about yourself and just how

accurate your current image of yourself is. Youll probably run into some surprises.

Journal about what you eat. I used this to lose weight. If you want to lose weight you

have to consume less calories that you use. So how do you know what to eat and how much? You

got to monitor it in some way. I used the free and very simpleFitday.comto monitor what I eat

during the day. This is essential stuff. Because the three normal and most of the time actually

pretty healthy meals I ate in the past consisted of the same amount of calories I used during the

day. So little progress was made. To keep things within effective and healthy limits I think its

important to monitor what you do. But not to get obsessed about these things though. The main

point is to keep an eye on what you are actually doing instead of guesstimating a whole lot.
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How to Be Yourself

1. Find yourself and define yourself on yourterms. Oscar Wilde once said with his usualwit: Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. As humorous as this might seem, it's a basic

summation of the truth. Yet, you can't be yourself if you don't know, understand, andaccept

yourselffirst. It should be your primary goal to find this out. Find the time to dwell upon what

you value and take time to consider what makes up the essence of who you are. As part of

this, contemplate your life and choices. Try to think about what kinds of things you would or

wouldn't like to do, and act accordingly; finding out through trial and error helps more than

you might think it does. You can even take personality tests, but be careful to only take what

you want from them so that you do not let such tests define you. Instead, ensure that the

defining you do is based on your own terms and is something you feel absolutely

comfortable with.

o In finding your values, don't be surprised if some of them seem to conflict. This is a

natural result of taking on broadvalues from a variety of sources, including culture,

religion, mentors, inspiring people, educational sources, etc. What does matter is that

you continue working through these conflicts to resolve what values feel most true to

yourself.

2. 2

Avoid fixating on the past and not letting yourself grow.

Avoid fixating on the pastand not letting yourself grow. One of the most unhealthy approaches

to being oneself is to make a decision that who you are is defined by a moment or period of time,

after which you spend the rest of your life trying to still be that person from the past rather than

someone who is still you but grows with the passing of each season and decade. Allow yourself this

space to grow, to improve, to becomewiser. And allow yourself to forgive past errors and past

behaviors you're not so proud of. Work on accepting mistakes and choices you've made; they're
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done and in the past. You had your reasons for them and the decision made sense at the time, so

instead of harnessing yourself to past mistakes, allow yourself to learn their lessons and continue to

grow.

o Look for people around you who proudly proclaim they are no different than they

were the day they turned 16 or 26 or 36, or whatever. Do these people seemflexible,easygoing, happy people? Often they are not because they are so busy

insisting that nothing has changed for them ever, that they're incapable of taking on

new ideas, learning from others, or growing. They might believe adamantly that they

are "being themselves" but in reality they are often enslaved by the past and a

particular image of themselves that they would have done better to have released

long ago. Growth into every new age and stage of our lives is an essential part of

being true to ourselves and to being emotionally healthy and whole.

3. 3

Stop caring about how people perceive you.

Stop caring about how people perceive you. Some of them will like you and some of them won't.

Either attitude is as likely to be right or wrong. It's next-to-impossible to be yourself when you're

caught up in constantly wondering "Do they think I'm funny? Does she think I'm fat? Do they think

I'm stupid? Am I good/clever/popular enough to be a part of their group of friends?" To be yourself,

you've got to let go of these concerns and just let your behavior flow, with only your consideration of

others as a filter nottheirconsideration of you. Besides, if you change yourself for one person orgroup, another person or group may not like you, and you could go on forever in a vicious cycle

trying to please people instead of focusing on building up your talents and strengths; being apeople-

pleaseror always wanting everyone's love and respect is a totally pointless exercise in the end that

can harm your personal development and confidence. Who cares what other people say? As

Eleanor Roosevelt said once, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent"and what
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matters most is that you listen to your own inner confidence and if it's missing, that you start

developing it!

o Does this mean no one's opinion in life matters? No. It hurts if you're socially

rejected. If you're forced into a situation where you must spend most or all of your

time among people who can't stand you for reasons of their own, it's dangerous tointernalize their negative ideas of who you are. What you can do is exercise some

choice in whose opinions you value more than others. It's much healthier to pay

attention to people who genuinely mean you well and who agree with you about what

you want to do with your life. Someone can mean you well in their own terms and

steer you down the wrong path with all the passion of real conscience if they think

you'd be better off in a different occupation, different lifestyle or religion. Think of an

enthusiastic evangelist from a different religion. If you are an evangelistic Christian,

think of how it feels to be pestered by the Krishna people about their faith and vice

versa.

o Don't trivialize it if you face negative social pressure or bullying. It's easier to

withstand it if you are aware of it as pressure and build healthy defenses. Building up

a circle of trusted friends and people who share your views and beliefs in life is a

good way to help reduce the impact of hostile people. You can tell yourself their

opinions don't matter, but that's a lot easier when there are others who agree with

you and stand by you.

o Learn the difference between intimidating, throwaway, conniving, or thoughtless

comments from others and constructive criticism which is well intended and focuses

on real faults that you know could do with remedying. In the latter case, people such

as parents, mentors, teachers, coaches, etc., might well be telling you things that you

need to digest and mull over at your own pace, to make self-improvements for the

better. The difference is that their critique of you is intended to be caring, interestedin how you grow as a person, and respectful. Learn how to spot the difference and

you will live well, dismissing the undermining critique, and learning from the

constructive critique.

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Be honest and open.

Be honest and open. What have you got to hide? We're all imperfect, growing, learning human

beings. If you feel ashamed or insecure about any aspect of yourself and you feel that you have

to hide those parts of you, whether physically or emotionally then you have to come to terms with

that and learn to convert your so-called flaws into individualistic quirks or simply as basic, down-to-

earth acknowledgments of your own imperfections. Be honest with yourself, but don't beat yourself

up; apply this philosophy to others, as well. There is a difference between being critical and being

honest; learn to watch the way you say things to yourself and others when being honest.

o Try the tactic of owning up to your imperfections mid-argument with someone. You

will often discover that suddenly you've removed the very reason for stubbornly

holding the line of argument, which is often about preserving face and not giving in.The moment you say, "Yeah, look I get really irritable when the room's in a mess too.

And I acknowledge that I shouldn't leave my clothes in a pile on the floor and yet, I

do it because that's a lazy part of myself I'm still trying to train out of the habit. I'm

sorry. I know I could do better, and I will try.", you suddenly infuse an argument with

genuine self-honesty that disarms the entire point of the argument, which in this case

is messy habits but could apply to anything about your own behavior.

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Relax.

Relax. Stop worryingabout the worst that could happen, especially in social situations. So what if

you fall flat on your face? Or get spinachstuck in your teeth? Or accidentally head butt your date

when leaning in for a kiss? Learn to laughat yourself both when it happens and afterward. Turn it

into a funny story that you can share with others. It lets them know that you're not perfect and makes

you feel more at ease, too. It's also an attractive quality for someone to be able to laugh atthemselves and not take themselves too seriously!

6. 6

Treat yourself as you'd treat your own best friend.

Treat yourself as you'd treat your own best friend. You value your friends and those close to you;

well, who is closer to you than you are? Give yourself the same kind, thoughtful, and respectful

treatment that you give to other people you care about. If you had to hang out with yourself for a day,

what is the most fun/enjoyable/fulfilled/calm/contented type of person you could be, while still being

yourself? What is the best version of you? Believe in this idea and use that as your starting point.

Love and accept yourself as you are now, just as you do for your close ones.

o Be responsible for yourself and forboosting your self-esteem. If others aren't telling

you you're great, don't let it get to you. Instead, tell yourself you're special, wonderful,

and worthwhile. When you believe these things about yourself, others will recognize

that glow of self-confidence and begin confirming your self-affirmations in no time!
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7. 7

Develop and express your individuality.

Develop and express your individuality. Whether it's your sense of style, or even your manner of

speaking, if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream and produces

positive outcomes, then be proud of it. Be a character, not a type. Learn to communicate well - the

better you can express yourself, the easier it is for the people who like you as you are to find you

and the ones who don't to just steer clear.

8. 8

Stop comparing yourself to others.

Stop comparing yourself to others. If you're always striving to be someone you're not already,

you'll never be a happy person. This comes about through comparing yourself to others and finding

yourself wanting in certain ways. This is a slippery slope to tread, though. You can always see the

appearances others wish to portray publicly but you won't ever see what's really going on behind

their faades in their apparently perfect world. By comparing yourself to others, you give their image-

portrayal way too much power and reduce your own worth based on a mirage. It's a useless activitythat only brings harm. Instead, value the person you are, love your personality, and embrace

yourflaws; we all have them, and as explained earlier, being honest is better than running from

them.

o Avoid being unfair to yourself. Sometimes comparison causes us to compare apples

with pears. We'd like to be a top movie producer in Hollywood when we're a lowly,

aspiring scriptwriter. To see that top producer's lifestyle and find yourself wanting as
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a result is an unfair comparison that person has years of experience and

hobnobbing behind them, while you're just starting out, testing the waters with writing

skills that may one day prove to be exceptional. Be realistic in your comparisons and

only look to other people as inspiration and as sources of motivation, not as a means

to belittling yourself.

o Never stop looking for your ownstrengths. Over time, these may change and thus,so may your definition of yourself, but never let up in focusing and refocusing on

them. They more than adequately balance out your flaws and are the principal

reason for not comparing yourself to others.

o Comparison leads to resentment. A person filled with resentmentcannot focus on the

mantra of "be yourself" because they are too busy hankering after someone else's

spoils!

o Comparison leads also to criticism of others. A life filled with criticizing others stems

from low self-esteem and a need to pull other's off their perches that you've placed

them on. That's both a way to lose friends and respect, and it's also a way of never

being yourself because you're envy-struck and spending too much time on others,

not on improving yourself.

9. 9

Follow your own style.

Follow your own style. The common thing a lot of people do is copy others' actions because it

seems like the better route to fit in, but really, shouldn't you stand out? Standing out is very hard,

yes, but you need to try avoid assuming other people's perspectives of you, even if it's not

something you would normally do; that's what being yourself is all about. Maybe you like to sit

outside on the deck under an umbrella in the middle of the rain, maybe you have different ideas ofthings, rather than other people, maybe you like strawberry cakeinstead of the common chocolate

cake, whatever you are, accept it.Being different is absolutely beautiful and it attracts people to you.

Don't let people change you!

10. 10
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Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and that some days you are the statue.

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and that some days you are the statue. People

might raise eyebrows and even make fun, but as long as you can shrug and say "Hey, that's just me"

and leave it at that, people will ultimately respect you for it, and you'll respect yourself.

Tips

Respect others as much as you respect yourself. While being yourself means expressingyourself and your opinions, dreams, and preferences, it certainly doesn't mean ramming

these down other people's throats! Everyone has needs, dreams, and wants that are equally

deserving and it's up to each one of us to acknowledge the other's value as much as our

own. Therefore, avoid being rude, thoughtless, or egotistical in your journey to being

yourself.

Fads and trends are a personal decision. While some people avoid them like the plague in

the name of "individualism", others recognize them for what they are - groupspeak for fun

and sharing in a particular period of time. Whether or not you choose to follow trends and

participate in fads is entirely up to you; it doesn't mean you're not being yourself when you've

made the choice for yourself to do so.

Be bold. As the famous song says: "Life's not worth a damn, until you can say 'I am what I

am'!" and your sincerity at uttering such words is paramount in boldly proclaiming that you

rock.

It can be hard to show your true interests at times, when others don't care or mock them, but

stand tall and simply expect others to at the very least, respect your choices. Having an air of

authority and friendly expectation will do more than acting grievously wounded or angry

when others disrespect your personal preferences. Remember, humor is far more likely to

disarm and charm than irritability and a foaming mouth.

Balance bad habits and rein them in. Addiction to drugs, alcohol, internet, gaming, whatever,

is disrespectful to the self and ultimately hurts the self more than any others. Find self-

calming techniques in more constructive ways, such as meditation, relaxation, writing, music,sport, being active, cooking up a storm, etc.

While some may call you names and speak ill of your choices to be your weird, goofy self,

most will respect your courage and certainty of self. And it is not a beauty parade where

you're seeking votes of approval anyway. Others like friends in their lives who live tall, proud,

and differently because it gives them the strength to show themselves in the same light.

Work on the things that you dislike about yourself instead of seeing them as stumbling blocks

to being a whole person. A too-large butt, a pimply face, a poor ability at math, a hatred of
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foreigners, alienating others with your anger, etc. these are all things you can make a

decision to fix or change, and the sooner, the better! Improve your self-esteem and your

future by constantly working on the things you're less than pleased about yourself and

finding solutions that stick.

Change is a constant. So changing who you are over time is inevitable, and is always likely

to be a good thing if you've been stayed informed, relevant, and clued in to the world aroundyou and have allowed your personal development to be a top priority in your life.

Set an example for others instead of criticizing them. You don't like what you see? Show

them how to be better by being living proof of your own preferred way.

It might help you to see that everyone is showing you a mirror of yourself. In this way, what

reflects back at you is 90 percent what you're giving out. And you have 100 percent

responsibility for yourself and your own actions!

A Buddhist tale tells of the importance of facing things we'd rather not at times: Three monks

went toward a gate. The first monk went up to it but a snarling dog was there. He shook with

fear and ran but the dog ran after him and ate him. The second monk went to the gate and

also ran away but the dog caught up with him and gobbled him up. The third monk

approached the gate and sized up the dog quickly. He gave the dog no time to bark but

charged at him yelling fiercely. The dog whimpered, placed its tail between its legs and ran

like mad away from the monk. The moral of the tale is to face your fears before they eat you

up. Being yourself includes facing your fears and not letting them get the better of you, for as

soon as you let fear run your life, you start marching to other people's tunes, often tunes

aimed at making you subservient, obedient, and in conformity with their preferences.

EditWarnings Not caring about how others perceive you doesn't mean letting go of the grooming and

etiquette. Basic respect for yourself and others is founded in the rules of etiquette to ensurethat we can all live together in harmony and with a basic level of expectation for how we will

interact with one another politely. The less manners we use, the less we respect others, and

ultimately, ourselves because we're trying to be domineering and arrogant rather than

cooperative and considerate. Use your manners widely, and be thoughtful of others.

Do not confuse cultural and social expectations with your desire to be unique. Sometimes

thumbing your nose at convention will lead you to be ostracized or worse, so use your

common sense when flaunting your individuality!

Love your friends but don't fall into walking to their rhythm alone. Keep yourself individual

and spread your time around various different people and activities with others so that you

don't end up unwittingly behaving like a "clone" of your friends within one inner circle.

Striving to be something you're not can be healthy when it involves improving academic,

sport, and social interactions skills. It can be highly harmful when you're striving to "be like"

someone else just to have their popularity, appearance, and attitudes rub off on you. Keep

unique by keeping your perspective focused on building yourstrengths through the

inspiration of others, not through becoming like them.

Flaws deserve celebration because the mere act of acknowledging them takes such

strength. However, flaws that can be remedied through study, focus, or other means should
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not be neglected through laziness or disinterest. Fix what you can about yourself where the

cost of not doing so will dampen your enthusiasm and reduce your enjoyment of life.

It doesn't always pay to "be yourself". Sometimes to get ahead in life you need to fulfil what a

company, a school, a powerful person wants from you. Sometimes you may need to be what

they seek for a short time just to reach goals of your own choosing. You could stand on

principle and thumb your nose at the situation and lose out as a result, or you couldtemporarily swallow your pride and fake it till you make it, nurturing your real self outside the

particular context (at home, with friends, etc.) until your own authority is more powerful. It's

not always a dastardly dead to submerge your real self until your time comes; you need to

be the best judge of that in the path you've chosen in life.

Know when going with the flow is easier than piping up. Sometimes it's easier just to agree

to going to a rock concert for a band you can't stand to keep your friends happy. That's about

fitting in and being respectful of other's preferences rather than about soiling your own

preferences. Again, think manners and good socializing. In turn, they are more likely to be

responsive to coming along to things you'd rather do.

If being yourself means you will end up in a cave all your life because you truly don't fit in

anywhere, it's time for a rethink. That could be teetering on selfish thinking rather than

independent thinking. Or it is a much more drastic external situation like being a gay person

born to a homophobic family in a homophobic community within a homophobic ethnic group.

If any community of people raised the way you were who look like you would react badly to

something real about you, that's a bad situation. It doesn't make you a bad person or make

the real thing untrue. It's almost impossible to be yourself in that kind of situation. At that

point you face hard choices about where and how to live. The choice that works for you best

is the one to make. In those situations, even though it seems that way, you're not the only

one. Many people throughout history have relocated in order to live without fear of prejudice.

Surprisingly, not all of them lost their family ties when coming out.

Make a conscious decision to be your own best friend. Look into the mirror and tell yourself, I willalways be there for you. I will never let you down. Do this every day.

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Believe in yourself. If the going gets rough, take a minute to tell yourself, You can do this. You arestrong and resourceful. You will get through this!

3

Compliment yourself. Deliberately write down something you like about yourself each day in anotebook, and once a week read back over the list to give yourself a boost.

4

Treat yourself. Take yourself out for ice cream when you are blue, or buy yourself that book youhave been wanting to read. Sometimes we get so caught up in others lives we forget to take time forourselves.

5

Forgive yourself if you do make a wrong choice, and move on. Nobodys perfect, and you wouldnthold a grudge towards your best friend, would you?

Read more: How to Be Best Friends With Yourself |eHow.comhttp://www.ehow.com/how_2319599_be-best-friends-yourself.html#ixzz1Y1czE1gU

http://wellbeing.doctissimo.com/my-personality/self-image/eleven-ways-to-become-friends-with-yourself-again.html

Eleven ways to become friends with yourself againPerhaps youre not all that happy with your body? Can you only see the things that are wrong with it?Doctissimo suggests eleven ways to make friends with yourself again.

Thinkstock

Complexes are, for the most part, all in the mind! Before thinking about putting your body in the hands of a surgeon,try following these bits of advice:
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1. You are pretty... or handsome in your own way: Accept how you look and above all, like yourself! Since whendoes not looking like what a handful of Hollywood producers say you should look like mean that you are unattractive?That hasnt stopped you from getting a partner or friends who value you! Forget about your nose that you think is toobig: everyone says what lovely eyes youve got!2. No good feeling sorry for yourself: Dont blame all your problems on your hang-ups. It wasnt your cellulite thatmade you lose your job! And if it was, so much the better: people who cannot see your qualities and stop at excusesdont deserve you! And above all stop telling yourself that you are too this or not enough that... If you say it often

enough, youll end up believing it!3. Discuss it: Confide in someone! Talk to someone you can really trust. Ask them for an honest opinion. If they saythey can see this bad point in you, maybe theyre not such a good friend after all...or they are too honest.4. Swap bad points: Ask your friends if theres anything about themselves that they would like to improve...Youllsee: everyone has something they dont like about themselves! And everybody manages to live perfectly well with it!5. Lie down on the couch: If your hang-ups are really ruining your life, dont be afraid to consult a specialist. Apsychologist or psychiatrist can help you get your self-confidence back.6. Choose your friends: Learn to surround yourself with friends who really like you as a person. Avoid those whoare quick to criticise and who only want to put you down. If you need to, make new friends... Are the good mates whosling havent you put on a bit of weight? in your direction really your friends?7. Add up all your good points: Make a list of all your qualities: humour, honesty, efficiency... Youll see that youreally are a good person! If you need to, keep this list at hand to look at if you get really depressed.8. Stop weighing yourself: Stop wanting to get thinner! Do you really want to look like an anorexic model? Youremost probably the right weight and if this isnt totally the case, start a reliable and realistically aimed diet, with the helpof a nutritionist.

9. Renew your friendship with your body: Start to feel again and treat yourself. Dont be afraid to go to the steamroom (youll see that no-one is perfect) and book yourself in for a full-body massage. And for goodness sakes, dontbe afraid to have a good meal from time to time.10. Get a new wardrobe: Try to dress up to the nines all year round. If you dont choose clothes that suit you andshow off your good points, how are you going to like yourself? Have a ruthless throw-out of anything that makes youlook like a bag-lady and do the rounds of the shops, going for bright colours. If youve got a bit of extra cash, why notgo in for a relooking a bit of personality coaching, a new hairstyle and makeup and wardrobe tips could be just thething.11. Come back down to earth: Be realistic! Stop comparing yourself to magazine celebs! Look at the normalhuman beings around you! Dont real people have more of a real beauty about them?

Would You Be Friends With Yourself?Tweet

Consider having an out of body experience. Imagine walking along and meeting yourself,

the way you are now. Would you be friends with yourself?

If your character and actions are not congruent with what you think makes up a good

friend, then perhaps its time to start lowering standards of friends, or raising standards of

yourself.
http://www.alexshalman.com/2007/12/23/would-you-be-friends-with-yourself/http://twitter.com/sharehttp://www.alexshalman.com/2007/12/23/would-you-be-friends-with-yourself/http://twitter.com/share


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What do you look for when considering who you will accept as a friend? Do you need them

to be nice, intelligent, outgoing, good looking, fashionable, or perhaps settle for anyone

thats willing to talk to you? Seriously, would you be friends with a liar and a thief just

because youre lonely and in need of companionship?

To me integrity and compassion are at the foundation of a good person, and friend. I also

like to surround myself with people that I can learn from about life. I enjoy the company of

intelligent people that are positive, optimistic, and motivated. I love it when my friends

have a special talent, unique philosophy, and other outstanding characteristics. Basically, I

like to become friends with people I admire, and I admire the people that are my friends.

The strategy is to raise the standards of what you expect from yourself. If you wouldnt be

friends with a person that is just like you, then perhaps you arent living up to your

potential, and you arent really satisfied with who you are. Its fine to say that whoever you

are is perfect, but its not practical.

I believe that the journey is more important than the destination. I do not believe that a

person is imperfect until they achieve something or other. Are you aware of your

philosophies and behavior? Are you the type of person that you would consider being friendswith?

Never mind searching for who you are. Search for the person you aspire tobe. ~Robert Brault,www.robertbrault.com

Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble andthe sculptor. ~Dr. Alexis Carrel

The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages as long as those of theman who descends to the depth of his heart. ~Julien Green

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painfulthan the risk it took to blossom. ~Anas Nin

The value of identity of course is that so often with it comes purpose.~Richard Grant

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love thequestions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a
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very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given youbecause you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to liveeverything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually,

without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer. ~RainerMaria Rilke,Letters to a Young Poet

All men should striveto learn before they die

what they are running from, and to, and why.~James Thurber

I know well what I am fleeing from but not what I am in search of. ~Michel deMontaigne

If you don't get lost, there's a chance you may never be found. ~AuthorUnknown

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only theessential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not,

when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. ~Henry David Thoreau,1854

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home tofind it. ~George Moore

It is good to feel lost... because it proves you have a navigational sense ofwhere "Home" is. You know that a place that feels like being foundexists.And maybe your current location isn't that place but, Hallelujah, thatunsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it. ~ErikaHarris,lifeblazing.com

If in the last few years you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired anew one, check your pulse. You may be dead. ~Gelett Burgess
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Endurance is frequently a form of indecision. ~Elizabeth Bibesco,Haven, 195

Man never knows what he wants; he aspires to penetrate mysteries and assoon as he has, he wants to reestablish them. Ignorance irritates him and

knowledge cloys. ~Amiel,Journal, 1884

The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wastedthirty years of his life. ~Muhammad Ali

Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake. ~Wallace Stevens

One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distantthan any star. ~G.K. Chesterton, "The Logic of Elfland," Orthodoxy, 1908

If you resist reading what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire deeperinsights into what you believe? The things most worth reading are preciselythose that challenge our convictions. ~Author Unknown

It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we canfinally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knockingon the doorsteps of our hearts. ~K.T. Jong

I met a lot of people in Europe. I even encountered myself. ~James Baldwin

There are chapters in every life which are seldom read and certainly notaloud. ~Carol Shields

To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of yourlife, you are the only solution. ~Jo Coudert,Advice From A Failure (Thanks,

Elizabeth!)

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves. ~Henry David


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Thoreau

No single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. Tolive is to be slowly born. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupry,Flight to Arras, 1942,

translated from French by Lewis Galantire

In search of my mother's garden, I found my own. ~Alice Walker

Why should we honour those that die upon the field of battle? A man mayshow as reckless a courage in entering into the abyss of himself. ~WilliamButler Yeats

If you haven't had at least a slight poetic crack in the heart, you have beencheated by nature. ~Phyllis Battelle

Learning how to operate a soul figures to take time. ~Timothy Leary

I've left Bethlehemand I feel free...I've left the girl I was supposed to beand some day I'll be born.~Paula Cole

Resolve to be thyself; and know that he who finds himself, loses his misery.~Matthew Arnold, "Self-Dependence,"Empedocles on Etna, and Other

Poems, 1852

To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who hadrather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in theircloset. ~Charles Caleb Colton,Lacon, 1825

No one remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself. ~ThomasMann


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Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character. Blessed ishe who acts the Columbus to his own soul. ~Author Unknown

There's a period of life when we swallow a knowledge of ourselves and itbecomes either good or sour inside. ~Pearl Bailey

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is thatI can't find anybody who can tell me what they want. ~Mark Twain

He who knows others is learned;He who knows himself is wise.

~Lao-tzu, Tao te Ching

You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forgeyourself one. ~James A. Froude

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