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“Try to absorb every moment,” I was told several times in the stirring weeks leading up to my wedding day. “It will fly by. Enjoy as many moments as you can. Take it all in.” Perhaps there’s a reason why these words of remiss advice were given to me by at least a dozen different brides before me: mentally slowing down your wedding day to lock each minute into memory was certainly a nice thought, if not an impossible one. As promised, when my anticipated big day arrived, I did my best to zoom in, focus, and remind myself this is actually happening.

While getting ready and all through picture-taking, I faired pretty well. Even during the ceremony, I was able to stay in the zone, despite how surreal my surroundings felt. But somewhere after the receiving line and driving off in our getaway Mini Cooper towards the reception, the blurriness began to impede.

Sure, I remember the yummy food and the good music and my groom dancing outside in the late afternoon heat until his face nearly matched his ginger red hair. But soon enough, the presents were being packed in the car, the chairs re-folded, and the last round of well-wishes fading

with the day--and then I wake up the next morning with a sort of dream-state hangover and an extra ring on my finger.

The possibility of me keeping the day from whirring by now seemed ridiculous. Why did those brides even bother? I wondered. Their advice might as well have been to separate the space-time continuum (and while you’re at it, don’t forget to smile).

Being rather idealistic in nature, this little cloud of wedding day blurriness that continued to hover over my memories was extremely frustrating. Often, when someone asked about our wedding or even

“If you want to be happy, be.”-Tolstoy

ju

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2011

Key to Contentment

by leigh k. thomas

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complimented us on the decor, I would conjure a smile while silently repressing that feeling of nonfulfillment lurking alongside that June 12 cloud of haziness. Like any blushing bride, I wanted all the pieces of my fairy-tale day to feel intact.

Recently, two things transpired that seemed unrelated at the time: 1). Joel and I celebrated our one-year wedding anniversary, and 2). I had a mini-epiphany in which I discovered that contentment was a real issue with me. The latter was realized with an excess pile of shopping bags (better to improve the self with!) and an annoyance stemmed from a long to-do list of favors for people (when I have way too many goals for just myself). These observations, among others, pointed towards my tendency to rely on more, rather than less, to feel happy.

The connection between these two surfaced as Joel and I watched the video of our wedding day to celebrate our anniversary. This was the first time we had watched it, and as we did so, I felt a good chunk of that cloudy haze lift. Not only was I able to see moments I couldn’t on the actual day, such as watching the flower girl go down the aisle, hearing what the guys were talking about in their pre-ceremony hideout, and candid, behind-the-scenes confessions of eating the cupcakes prematurely.

Beyond these moments, I could relive the entire day’s excitement and alas, recapture and make

permanent the moments I had most wanted to grasp.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could record all the good memories that seem to fly by with time? Not to mention the vast ways in which we’re granted daily reasons to be thankful?

Truth is, the human wasn’t built for wholly palpable fulfillment from the world. Even something as wonderful as a wedding can leave us with just a glimpse of this greatness we have in a God we can’t fully fathom. But while we’re here, it’s good to be reminded that we need not lean on our own perspectives; our Father always provides.

Maybe holding the key to contentment doesn’t have to feel as impossible as breaking the space-time continuum. Rather, fulfillment may feel more possible with readjusting our unreal expectations in order to zoom in on the blessings we already have.

In what ways do you feel your own blurriness may be clouding your contentment?

Trust that God can remove the filmy lens that clogs our vision and the possibility that the joy is actually happening now.

Truth is, the human wasn’t built for wholly palpable fulfillment from the world. Even something as wonderful as a wedding can leave us with just a glimpse of this greatness we have in a God we can’t fully fathom.

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