KAIROS OUTSIDE FOR WOMENFULL WEEKEND SCRIPT AND SCHEDULE

FRIDAY 4.30pm Team meeting and prayer

Agenda

Opening prayers

Introduce observers (if any)

Commissioning (of those not at final team formation meeting)

Last minute changes in guest list

Check guest name tags and room allocation list

Check copies of all talks have been given to I.T. person

Reminders:

No men in the community room after the first guests arrive.

Team contacts are to meet their guests where possible: escort to rooms, explain layout and rules (eg smoking areas, no mobiles in community room). It is worth considering giving the team contact person both her own name tag to wear and that of her assigned guest. When the guest arrives, the contact person gives her the name tag – a way of immediately connecting both people.

Drinks and snacks available on arrival to help put guests at ease. (Tell guests this is not dinner!)

Sit with guest contact at dinner and afterwards for ice breakers

During dinner, Advising Leader to briefly explain emergency procedures

Remember our training: Listen, listen, love, love. Confidentiality. Boundaries. What’s best for the guests? What you hear here, stays here!

Be watchful and respectful of the ‘raised hand’ and re-gathering music. Model good time-keeping and respect for each other

Our call is not to be ‘successful’ – but obedient.

No one role on team is more important than any other.

Closing prayer

5.15 Guest contacts meet guests/mingle

6.00 Dinner

Say grace

7.10 5 minute warning

7.15 Welcome to Kairos Outside number X! It’s just wonderful to see you all here. We’ve been planning and looking forward to this for so long. My name is X, and I am your leader for this Kairos Outside weekend.

I guess some of you may be feeling a bit uncomfortable at this point – perhaps a bit nervous. That’s normal when people who don’t know each other come together for the first time, especially if they don’t know exactly what’s going to happen. I can assure you that everyone on the team, including me, has sat where you’re sitting now, on a weekend like this one. And I can assure you that the discomfort will disappear as the weekend goes on. It may be hard tonight, but tomorrow will be better – and Sunday will be great. So hang in there!

It may help if I tell you a little about myself and the team, and about the weekend. First of all, we want to be completely up front with you about where we’re coming from. We are all Christians, and our faith in God is a big part of who we are. That doesn’t mean that you have to be a Christian to enjoy this weekend or get something valuable out of it. But can I ask you to accept that side of us? You don’t have to agree with us, just keep an open mind as the weekend goes on. I’m sure there’ll be plenty you can agree with and enjoy.

There are X people on this Kairos Outside team. A small number are men and you’ll see them from time to time - but never in this community room. Some of the women on the team have, or have had, somebody in prison. Some of us never have – but we understand something of the kind of life you live. We want you to know that we’re committed to trying to understand more – and to accept you, whoever you are, just as you are.

That’s important enough to say right up front. We’re not here to preach to you or change you in any way. As we go through the weekend, you may decide that you want, or need, to make some changes – and if so, we’ll be here to support and encourage you as much as we can. But as team members, we’ll be changing too… As the weekend goes on, you’ll find out that we too have pains and fears and weaknesses, which are hard for us to share. Perhaps we can try to help each other and learn from each other….

Just to give you some background about Kairos Outside, there were two words for ‘time’ in ancient Greek. One was ‘kronos’ – as in clock or calendar time, 60 minutes to the hour and 24 hours to the day. The other was ‘kairos’ – and it’s used for the special kind of time we mean when we say: ‘it’s time’, for example: ‘there’s a time to plant and a time to harvest’; ‘it’s time for the baby to be born’; ‘it’s time to make a change’. It means: ‘the right time’. As Christians, we like to think of it as ‘God’s Special Time’.

The name ‘Kairos’ was chosen for a three day course run in prisons because those days were intended to be more than just ‘kronos’ time ticked off the calendar, but a truly special time – the right time for those in prison to see something positive happen in their lives. Kairos programs are held in prisons here in Australia and in many other prisons world-wide.

In 1989, a prison chaplain in America started looking for an opportunity for women impacted by the imprisonment of someone close to them to share the Kairos experience – and find added strength and support. That’s where Kairos

Outside started and it was brought to Australia in 1999. It may reassure you to know that women all over the world are doing weekends just like this one. You are certainly not alone! Connection with other women in a similar situation is what this weekend is all about. Our time together will be filled with music, talks, activities, sharing – and some really nice surprises! If we seem a little secretive about what’s going to happen over the weekend, it’s only because we don’t want to reveal these nice surprises too early. Just trust us for a little while, and you’ll see.

There’s one more important thing to mention about trust. You can be sure that everything you say here is kept in strict confidence. We’re not going to share with anyone else what you tell us, except with your permission. And we ask that you keep what you hear from us, and from each other, in confidence as well. Is that OK? It’s the only way we can make this a safe place to be ourselves and share something of ourselves with each other. One of the goals of the weekend is to form new friendships. We want to get to know you and we want you to get to know us.

So before we do anything else, I think it would be a good idea to at least make some introductions. (By the way, we get to keep our name tags on all the time, so if you’re not very good at remembering names, just relax. There won’t be a test at the end!)

So first let me introduce some team members who have a special job this weekend: our wonderful music team – X and Y. They will now lead us in a couple of fun activities to help us get to know each other a bit better.

Ice Breakers

8.15 I hope you can tell already that we’re going to have some fun together...

This weekend has a theme. You’ll see it and hear it and possibly even sing it in the days to come. Our theme is……………………………………………...

(Explain theme and logo)We’re going to have a break shortly but first, a few suggestions that may help you to relax and feel more comfortable.

Don’t worry about what comes next or when it will happen. Everything has been carefully planned so that we don’t have to focus on ‘clock time’ – but on having a good time, a special time, with one another. If you feel comfortable to do this, I’d encourage you to remove your watches while we’re in here. In fact, my friend X, our Observing Leader who will be leading the next Kairos Outside weekend, is the one who will worry about the schedule and what time it is. She will make sure that we are called together in the right place at the right time.

There aren’t many rules this weekend except that smoking needs to be in a few designated areas only and that you’ll have to resist using your mobile phone except during breaks. So, if you have a mobile phone with you now, would you please turn it off so that all of us can enjoy tonight’s activities without distraction? That would be hugely appreciated. Other than that, there are just three things we’d like to ask of you this weekend:

First, please don’t judge the weekend until you’ve experienced all of it.

Second, please don’t think of this as a spectator sport: pitch in and have fun! You won’t be here again. The more you open your heart and mind to what you experience here, the more you’ll get out of it.

Third, please approach this weekend in a spirit of acceptance. Tonight we hardly know each other but, by Sunday evening, we will probably feel as if we’ve known each other forever. Share yourself with others, and let them share themselves with you – and see what happens.

If you are prepared to give us these three things – an open mind, an un-judging heart and your willingness to give it a go and get involved – you could get more peace and joy out of this weekend than you may be able to imagine right now.

If you can trust us just that much, you will be giving us the opportunity to support and encourage you. We know that you’re strong women. You’ve juggled families and work, and faced your own struggles and supported relatives or friends who are in prison. But I invite you to let us take care of you this weekend. If you’ve never experienced that before, try it for a while. You might like it!

There’s one final piece of housekeeping: You are about to be handed a Privacy Statement. This covers your personal details. The information we collect will only be shared, with your permission, with others on this weekend to help you stay in touch with each other if you’d like to. It will be entered on our secure database only to invite you to reunions or special Kairos Outside events – and you can have your name removed at any time you wish. It also covers the taking of a group photograph during the weekend which only X will be doing, so no other photos are to be taken thanks. There’s a form on the back of the Privacy Statement in case of medical emergencies. This will also be destroyed at the end of the weekend. Could you please take a moment to fill in both sides of the form so we can get that small but necessary task out of the way? Thank you.

[Privacy forms handed out, completed and collected]

We’ll now take a short break – just ten minutes to have a toilet stop, or to grab another cup of tea or coffee. Then when you hear music playing, that’s the signal to come back in here and find a seat. Ten minutes break. It’s all yours! (Note: According to the arrangement of the venue, the meditation that follows could also be held in the chapel.)

8.30 Break

8.40 Re-gather (music)

8.50 This weekend, we’re going to hear a series of talks and meditations or reflections. A meditation is quite short, and it’s just meant to give you something to think about. You don’t have to applaud or discuss your thoughts at the end. Just take a few minutes to reflect silently on what you’ve heard and how it may fit into your own life. As for all the talks and meditations you’ll be hearing this weekend, if you’re sitting in a position where you can’t see the speaker, please feel free to turn your chair around so that you’re facing the front. We want you to feel as relaxed and comfortable as possible!

Our first meditation will now be given by X, who will tell us the story of the Prodigal Daughter.

Meditation: Prodigal Daughter

Let’s just reflect quietly for a few moments on what we’ve heard.

Reflection

9.00 We’re now going to hear the first of our talks for the weekend. A talk is a bit different to a meditation: it’s a little longer – and there will be an opportunity to talk afterwards about some of the issues raised.. Again, please don’t applaud at the end. Just take a few moments to think about what you’ve heard.

X told us about a daughter who made some bad choices – and then made some good ones, which turned her life around and brought her home to the love of her father. We all face choices in life, all the time. Y is going to talk to us about that: Choices – and how they influence us.

Talk: Choices9.20 Let’s just reflect silently for a few moments. You might like to think about the

three questions on the screen...

We’re not going to discuss the three questions now – but I’d ask you to think about them later this evening, as you prepare for bed. We’ll have the opportunity to talk about our answers tomorrow morning. (Guests given copy of questions)

Note: While some KOW communities choose to have the chaplains visit guests in their bedrooms where the teddies are given out and the story read, the following approach is strongly recommended as it is inclusive of all guests and female team members and, therefore, more comfortable for guests in that it facilitates connection and doesn’t give the implied message that they have no choice but to go to bed at 9.25pm!. Allowing them to remain in the community room after the story while the team goes elsewhere for a meeting invites conversation and encourages the building of relationships in a relaxed way.

9.25 And that’s the last of the formal activities for today! However, we do have a very special surprise for you – the first of many over this weekend. So we’re going to have a short break, while the team sets things up. Please come back in about 5 – 10 minutes. Bring your pillow with you – and a blanket if you want to get really cosy. Although there are some men on team and you’ll see them around the place over the weekend, this particular room is a ‘girls only’ zone, so if you feel comfortable, you’re even welcome to return in your pyjamas! We’re winding down for the day but please come back in 10 minutes for a very special surprise.

Short break, returning to community room for distribution of teddies and the reading of a story such as Max Lucado’s You Are Special (or similar).

9.35 Now it’s my pleasure to introduce another group of team members who have a particular job on the weekend: our Chaplains. X and Y and Z will be leading us in our meditations and various other activities, but they’re also ‘here’ and available if anyone wants to talk or pray with them one-on-one at any time. Tonight, they’ve got a special task – which I’ll leave them to tell you about.

Chaplains explain that the teddies are a gift for the guests – not for their children or grandchildren! They represent security during tough times – something to hold on to which might remind them of safer times in the past and, hopefully, better times in the future. After the teddy bear distribution, a chaplain reads the story, explaining that it focusses on the deep love God has for each guest and team member, regardless of who they are or what they’ve done.

10.00 That’s the end of our activities for tonight. The team is going to disappear for a brief meeting to prepare tomorrow’s program. But feel free to hang around here and have a cuppa and chat if you wish – bearing in mind that you’ll be woken up early in the morning and we have a big day tomorrow! Again, let us worry about the time. Just relax until we call you in the morning.

I’ll close with a brief prayer. Dear God…

If you need anything for the night, just ask a team member. Please keep track of your room keys. It might be a good idea to hang them on the board over there by the door when you’re not using them – so that your room-mate can find them if necessary. That’s it for now. Good night, and sleep well!

Team (women only) may serenade the guests if the majority of them have chosen to go to bed at this time.

10.15 Team meeting

Agenda

Ask Team Contacts how guests are going

Review schedule for morning

Table servers: materials/set-up for the morning?

Table Leaders: Table name outlines.

Reminders:

Raised hand to signal silence, music playing to signal return to the Conference Room: Observing Leader’s time-keeping role (to be explained)

Table Leaders: listen, listen, love, love.

Discreet notes to prayer chapel during weekend are important

Any other business, comments, concerns

Reminder to get sleep!

Closing prayer (prayer team)

All hands on deck to prepare the community room for Saturday!

Once the rest of the team has gone to prepare for the next day, the leadership team prayerfully assigns the guests into table families and, on the advise of the Observing

Leader 1, tries to ensure that guests on a particular table do not know each other and that there is an even distribution of ‘difficult’ personalities, Christians, people with significant health issues etc.

SATURDAY

6.15 Rise and shine

6.30 Wake guests/pray

7.00 Team to serenade guests (women only)

7.15 All to Chapel

7.20 Good morning! Welcome to this peaceful place that will be our ‘Chapel’ for the weekend. We are going to start our day with a meditation on who we are – or who we think we are. It’s called: ‘I am Worthy’. X will share her thoughts with us, and then we’ll just spend a few moments reflecting silently on what we’ve heard – and what it means for us.

Meditation: I am Worthy

7.40 Reflection

7.42 Welcome to Day 2. I hope you and your teddy bears had a good sleep! If you realised in the night that you’d forgotten anything you need, or have any other problems, just ask a team member this morning and we’ll see what we can do!

We’ve got a big day ahead - an amazing day. Once again, I encourage you to open your heart and join in as much as you’re able to. I promise you it will be worthwhile. Let me get us started for the day with a prayer…

And now to breakfast! Let’s all go up to the dining room together. We’ll have a break to get ourselves organised after we’ve eaten.

7.45 I’d like to introduce you to our wonderful Kitchen Team, who so lovingly set up the dining room, serve us our meals and keep the kettle boiling. This team is headed up by the lovely X and I’ll let her introduce her amazing support crew…

Breakfast (Kitchen Co-ordinator to say grace)

8.25 5 minute warning (OL1 to explain raised hand, music used to gather plus reminder to keep track of room keys and hang them on board when not using them)

8.30 Photo instructions

8.40 Group Photo (for inclusion in the Going Forth

8.55 Re-gather in community roomWelcome back. You may have noticed that this community room is organised around small tables. We’ve done that on purpose, because we’re now going to allocate you to a group that will become your little community or family for the rest of the weekend. These are the people with whom you’ll get to discuss the

talks that we’ll be hearing, and share your own stories and views, if you’d like to. Each table family has two team members and a table server. They are there to take care of any needs you may have. So if you want a drink, or you want someone to remind you to take medication – or whatever it might be – the table servers are there to help. They have a little community of their own at the back table there. Each table family will also be joined from time to time by one of the Chaplains. In this way they can get to know you and you can get to know them, so that you’ll feel comfortable talking to them one-to-one if you need to.

The table families have all been named after women in the Bible. Whether young or old, married or single, respected or outcasts, these women had such faith in God that they were able to live out the most amazing destinies – and have impacted people ever since their stories were told, thousands of years ago. Your table leaders will be happy to tell you something more about them, if you like. May each of you know something of those same destinies, as you now join your table families.

(Note: It is helpful to have a brief and simple description of the woman of the Bible whose name has been given to a particular table family written on the back of the table name card for easy reference by the guests)

You’ll see that friends and family members have been placed in different groups. This is so that each of you can have your own experience of the weekend. Don’t worry. You’ll still be sharing rooms – so you’ll have plenty of opportunities to swap stories at the beginning and end of the day. There’ll also be a chance to chat together during breaks.

So if we can all stand up round the outside of the room, I’ll now read out each table family and the names of the guests who’ll be within that group during the weekend’s activities. It would be great if you could then go and sit at your table.

The table family of … Led by…X and Y

And your table server is….

The table family of … Led by …

And your table server is…

The table family of … Led by…

And your table server is… The table family of … Led by…

And your table server is…

Your table family may be strangers now, but by tomorrow afternoon, they will be just that - family. You’ll have plenty of time to get to know one another.

At your table, you’ll see an exercise book and pen so that you can take notes during the various talks. Please put your name and the name of your table family on the cover of your book. Nothing you write will be seen by anyone but you, unless you want to share it.

It is worth writing notes because, after each talk, you’ll have a short time for discussion at your table. You may want to write down any points that struck you, or any questions you have. Later this afternoon, you’ll also have an opportunity to recap what you’ve heard throughout the day. Your table family will work together to come up with a poster, a skit or a song – or whatever you can dream up - to share with the rest of us what you’ve learned and received from the talks.

So now, we’re going to take some time in our table families to discuss the questions we gave you at the end of X’s talk on ‘Choices’.

Discussion

9.30 We’re now moving into another activity, which may pick up on some of the things we thought about after the ‘I am Worthy’ meditation this morning. How do you feel about yourself today? How do you see yourself, right this very moment? We are each going to draw a portrait of ourselves. It doesn’t have to be a work of art. It doesn’t even have to be a picture. It can be a symbol, or a word, or a song title: whatever you like. There’s no good or bad here: just how you see yourself. Let’s take about 10 minutes to do this – and then the table servers will collect them for a special reason that will soon become clear.

9.40 Break

9.50 Regather and singing

10.0 We’re going to have another talk now. Last night, X told us a story of how God’s love - the love of the waiting Father - will always be there for us. Y shared with us how the choices we and others make impact on our lives – but never rob us of that love. God knows us, knows all about us – and still loves us so much that even if we were the only person in the world, Jesus would have died for us. But it’s up to us to let Him love us: to accept His love. Sometimes, as Z shared this morning, that’s about believing that we are worthy: He made us, and He doesn’t make mistakes. But it’s our choice to accept love – or not. XX will now talk to us about Isolation and Rejection

Talk: Isolation & Rejection

10.15 We’ll just take a few moments to reflect silently on what we’ve heard.

Now, you have some time in your table families to discuss the talk and to think about some questions. You’ll see these on the screen.

10.40 Morning tea break

11.00 Singing

11.15 You may have noticed that our speakers mysteriously disappear before their talks, and again when they are finished. This is because they go off to be prayed for. During the talks, we’re not just getting things off our chests. We want to say what God wants you to hear. That’s why we pray for each speaker to deliver the message faithfully and, after each talk we pray for her again to give thanks to God that He’s helped her do just that.

So we’re going to hear another talk now. As X shared with us, God reaches into our loneliness and isolation to call us into friendship with Him and with the

members of His family. The name we give to that family is, simply, ‘The Church’. That may surprise you, because the word ‘church’ has got muddled up with lots of confusing stuff – not all of it good. But that’s what the ‘church’ is: just a community of ordinary people who have accepted the challenge of Jesus to love one other as He loves us.

Y will now come and talk to us about: ‘The Church’.

Talk: The Church

11.30 Let’s take a few moments to reflect on what we’ve heard.

Now, you have some time in your table families to discuss the talk and to think about the questions on the screen.

11.50 Now it’s my pleasure to introduce you to another group of people who have a special job on the weekend. Most of the time, they’re pretty invisible. This is because they’ve been busy behind the scenes. I’ll let them explain al about that.

Prayer co-ordinator’s comments

You might be interested to know that you are not the first group to have participated in a weekend like this. Kairos Outside weekends, for the relatives and friends of those currently in prison or who have been inside at some time, are now held in most States of Australia and in many overseas countries.

One of the things all these weekends have in common is that they are powered by prayer for months ahead of time. This team has been praying for you for many weeks as we prepared to meet you. We may not have known who you were but we believe that God has always known you and He brought you here because of our prayers and because of His desire for each of you to get to know Him for yourself.

Prayer is one of those things you cannot see but which still exists in a powerful way. Those of us on this Kairos Outside team are not the only ones who have been praying for you. There are people all over Australia and beyond praying for you right now. In fact, ever since the first one of you arrived last night, you have been prayed for around the clock by loving Christians who signed up for a prayer vigil. (Agape Leader holds up Prayer Scroll, Prayer Wheel or some other visible sign of around-the-clock prayer.)

Agape co-ordinator’s comments

We wanted to find ways to let you see the love that went into your special weekend. So, we created this Kairos Outside No.# logo (hold up an uncoloured logo) and we sent them out to churches, schools, playgroups - anywhere we could find people who would pray for this weekend and colour them in. They came back looking like this. (Agape Team to display examples of coloured logos.)

People have also sent what we call ‘Agape’ gifts as tokens of God’s unconditional love for you. Here are some of those special tokens. (Agape leader reads several letters/banners of Agape, beginning with local ones, then some from interstate and, finally, some from other countries. These are displayed in the community room by her team).

Well, I think by now you can see that people from all over the world are praying for you and supporting you during this weekend. I know that some of you have relatives or friends in various prisons who are also praying for you. Some of them have even sent written messages of encouragement like these. (Agape Leader reads a few letters of support from the various prisons).

Please take some time to look at all the posters, letters and banners displayed around the room during this weekend. Some of the posters were done by children and have special messages on them just for you

But "Agape" means more than praying or writing a letter or colouring a poster. Agape is anything offered to God out of love for, and for the benefit of someone else. It is not important that you know the names of those who have shown God’s love for you in this way. It is only important that you know it was done for you. Agape can be something simple like making a place mat such as those we use in the dining room or making small gifts for you to take home to remind you of God’s love once this weekend is over. It can be something as complex as working with forty or so other people to put together this weekend for you. It can be anything in between like cooking your meals, cleaning the bathrooms or sharing life's journey with you. Agape has no limitations but is simply to remind you just how much you are loved by Jesus!

12.00 Lunch

One of our Kitchen Team members will say grace.

12.30 Long break

2.00 Regroup in Chapel

Welcome back. How are you doing so far? I’ll just begin this afternoon’s session with a prayer. (Leader to pray).

We’ve heard a little bit already about how God’s love is always there for us, no matter how much or how often we mess things up. That’s a wonderful thing – but it doesn’t always feel true. X is going to lead us in a meditation, ‘Accepting God’s Forgiveness’.

Meditation: Accepting God’s Forgiveness

2.15 Return to Community room: singing

2.25 Before lunch Y talked to us about the Church – and reminded us what Church really is… Who is the church? [We are the Church!] We are the Church. But we don’t just connect with God through each other. We also connect with Him directly. Z is going to talk to us about ‘Communicating with God’.

Talk: Communication with God

2.40 Let’s just reflect silently on what we’ve heard.

We’re not going to discuss ‘Communicating with God’ in our table families. Instead, we have a short time to just give it a go. This is your time to spend with

God and talk to Him about whatever’s on your heart. If you haven’t prayed before and aren’t sure how to get started, on your tables there are some ideas that might be of help. It’s over to you and your table family to work out how you want to do this!

Note: Some guests may find the following ‘prayer starters’ useful. These could be written on cards for the group to use under the guidance of the table leaders.

Some Prayer Starters:Thank you God for…….I’m feeling…..Help me to….I want to pray for…..I’m sorry for…Show me how to….What do you want to say to me?

2.50 Afternoon tea

3.10 Return to Community room: sing

3.25 Many things can make it difficult for us to really release the burdens we carry around with us. One of them, as X shared earlier, is guilt: not accepting God’s forgiveness for the past. Another is anger: the anger that we feel about life and what we have suffered. We’re going to hear two short talks, now, about ‘Anger’. One will be from a …………..’s point of view and the other from a …….………..’s point of view.

Talks: Anger

3.50 How do we respond to anger? It sometimes feels as if we only have two choices: either to squash the anger down and pretend everything is OK – or to stay angry! As we’ve heard, anger is a normal response to being hurt – but if we never bring it out into the open and work through it, it will consume us and we will keep on being hurt, or hurting ourselves, or hurting others. In a few moments, we will each have the opportunity to reflect on the things we might be angry about. But instead of just expressing and going over and over the anger, we are going to give ourselves the chance to move forward. We are going to give ourselves the chance to express and to feel other possible responses to the person or situation which causes us anger. This may be a first step on the journey towards forgiveness…

Table servants distribute the anger activity proforma (See pages 82 and 83)

You’ve been given a framework for expressing these feelings. You might like to write or draw your feelings, starting with the first category – anger – and moving on through as many of the categories as you feel able to. (There are hints at the bottom of the page if you get stuck.)

You will have about 30 minutes to do this. Then come back and pair up with someone so that each person in turn has the opportunity to talk about those feelings, while the other quietly listens. Before you go off on your own to work through the sheet, you may like to decide who you will talk to in 30 minutes time… Any questions?

4.25 Optional short break (if time allows)

4.35 Regroup in Chapel

Lord, thank you for giving us a safe place where we can take a first step in letting go of some of our anger, frustration and fear. At times, life seems so hard – and our responsibilities so heavy. Please help us to live with our struggles, disappointments and pain. Thank you that Jesus took them all with Him to the cross. Help us to make better choices, whatever the circumstances. Help us to draw close to you for comfort and strength. Thank you that with you going before us, and our friends beside us, together we can move forward into a more hopeful future. Amen.

X will now lead us in a meditation called: ‘Forgiveness of Others’.

Meditation: Forgiveness of Others

Explanation of ‘Forgiveness lists’ by Chaplain (See Chaplains’ Scripts on page 185)

We now have the opportunity to start the journey of forgiving others. Soon you’ll receive some paper and a pen. I’d encourage you to think about anyone who you might need to forgive then write that name or names down on the paper or, if you prefer, just write their initials or even draw a picture or symbol to indicate who they are. No-one else will see what’s on your paper.

You may find that you need time to think about this or you may find that a name has come into your head immediately. Think about the relationship you have with that person or those people. Is it like a heavy rock weighing you down? If it is, you need to forgive that person or, at least, begin the process of forgiveness.

When you have finished, just put the paper inside the envelope and keep it with you. Feel free to take as much time as you need but I would ask this to be done in silence.

(After an appropriate period of time, conclude by explaining the Saturday night forgiveness process as follows);

Tonight we will have an opportunity to take another step on our road to forgiveness. We will participate in a forgiveness activity, where we can ask for God to help us begin to forgive those people whose names we have written down on the paper. . This may be just the first tiny step in your forgiveness journey. Please make sure that you put your list in your pocket or another safe place and keep it with you until tonight. You might like to add more names later as they come to mind. Let’s pray before we return to the community room…….

5.00 Return to community room singing

5.05 Now we have some time to get together in our table families and plan our posters, skits or songs as a way of sharing with each other and with the other table families what you’ve got out of the talks and activities today. This is just a recap or review of whatever your table family has learned or found meaningful. Hopefully, it will involve everyone. As each table family comes to the front, it would be really helpful for all of us if you could begin by telling us a little bit about the woman of the Bible your table family is named after.

Our time here after dinner won’t be a competition between table families but a celebration of learning! If you want help with music, ask our wonderful music team. If you want different arty-crafty stuff, ask the table servers and they’ll see what they can do to help. Have fun!

Review Planning

5.45 Short break

5.50 Announce dinner

Names (Table group order)

6.00 Dinner

Would a member of the Kitchen team like to say grace?

6.45 5 minute warning

6.55 Return to Community room

7.00 10 minutes to complete posters etc…

7.10 Review of the day table by table, beginning with a brief description of the woman in the Bible each table family is named after.

7.50 Short break (Leader to explain ‘walk’, bring forgiveness list envelopes)

8.00 Regroup for Lighting the Way (Leader to explain: eg You might like to walk in table families: candles lighting the path as a celebration of the light Jesus brings, other people waiting for us, some of whom are men but all of whom are friends of Kairos Outside - so there’s nothing to be anxious about etc.)

8.10 Lighting the Way

Ladies, these people have come here from far and wide: from ……………………….. They’ve shared a special time together and have prayed for you – even though they don’t know you. They’ve come here to show you that you are loved and that you are part of a bigger family than you may have realised.

Kairos Outside community and friends, may I introduce to you the women of Kairos Outside X. Ladies of Kairos Outside X, let me introduce you to the church, the Christian community, the family and friends of Kairos Outside. In a moment they are going to leave to go back to their homes. Don’t worry. You’ll have a chance to see them again. But they’ve done what they came to do. In God’s name, they’ve said: ‘We love you and we care about you’. Before they go, they have something for you – a beautiful bunch of flowers for each of you to take away as a visible sign of their care and support - a gift of love from the wider Christian community represented here tonight. As the flowers are brought forward you will hear your names mentioned one by one. When you hear your name, please just stay where you are as I will have the great privilege of giving the flowers to you a little later. I would now invite those women from the

community who have a bunch of flowers to come forward in turn and place them on this table.

(Selected women now bring the bunches of flowers forward which are later to be given to each guest by the leader and then put in individual ‘take-home’ containers. Before placing them on the table at the side, the women from the community say something like; ‘These are for X with love from us all’. Slight variations of these words will add interest and impact.

IMPORTANT NOTE: On Kairos Outside weekends where the wider community does not meet prior to the guests’ Lighting the Way, the flowers may be presented to the guests either by the team or by visiting Christian supporters prior to the time of thanksgiving on Sunday morning.

Thank you all so much for coming tonight and encouraging us by just being here. God bless you on your journey home.  

(The visitors will now leave quietly as they sing.)

(After the visitors have left, the Leader will say to guests:) How are you all going? It’s quite something to see and feel such amazing support and love, isn’t it? Please take a seat now in your table families and, when we’re ready, the Chaplains will lead us in a special activity.

8.20 Forgiveness process (See Chaplains’ Script, page 183)

At the conclusion of the forgiveness activity, the Leader gives the bunches of flowers to each guest before saying:

Over the weekend we’ve begun to get to know each other and experience the sort of unconditional love that Jesus wants His people to show one another. So in table families, your leaders will now pray for each of you in turn as an expression of the love Jesus has for you.

(Other team members pray together in small groups, being aware of listening to the Chaplain’s instructions about finishing within the given time frame).

When table leaders have finished praying a brief prayer for each guest or about 5 minutes have elapsed, the Leader can begin to draw things to a close.

Leader: We are going to finish our time here by singing the international theme song of Kairos Outside for Women, “In this room”. After this, if any one wants to stay behind a little longer, the Chaplains will be remaining here for a while and would love to support you in whatever way you need.

Song sheets are handed out. Team and guests depart for community room perhaps singing ‘Lean on Me’ or similar.(NOTE: While the guests and most team have been taking part in the forgiveness process, the community room/dining room has been candlelit and attractively set up by the kitchen team with the tables in the shape of a cross. When guests and team return, the kitchen team members can explain to them the significance of the table arrangement. Guests and team can then enjoy a celebratory supper together. Dessert may be held over from the special dinner and served at this time).

9.20 Return to community room for a thanksgiving celebration supper

9.30 Thanksgiving celebration supper explained to guests by a member/s of the Kitchen Team as follows:

Welcome back. We hope the forgiveness process you’ve just experienced has been another positive step in your journey of healing and discovering God’s care for you, His precious daughters. The celebration you’re about to experience is a special gift to you from members of the kitchen team who have been praying constantly for you throughout the day and will continue to do so tomorrow. We hope you will see this celebration supper as another example of God’s creative ‘agape’ love, freely given to each one of us. As you walked in, you may have noticed that the tables have been arranged in the shape of a cross. That’s just another reminder that God’s greatest gift of all was the gift of Jesus Himself who died on a cross and, in coming back to life, gave us the opportunity to be in friendship with God. We hope you enjoy this peaceful end to the day as you relax with each other over supper.

Leader (following supper):

10.15 It’s been a long day. I highly recommend that you head for your rooms and begin to get ready for bed. We will be waking you bright and early tomorrow morning. It would be a good idea to at least make a start on packing your bags before our first activity tomorrow, as there won’t be much time to do that during the day. Until then, may God give you sweet dreams and deep rest. Goodnight.

Team (women only) may serenade the guests if the majority of them have chosen to go to bed at this time.

10.20 Team meeting

Agenda

Opening prayer Review by groups: How are things going? Any questions? Any concerns? Review tomorrow’s schedule: remember flowers/photos in morning,

T-shirts after Birthday party, team crosses hidden until Cross Ceremony.

Reminder to Table Leaders and Chaplains: important sharing on Sunday. Stay alert! Also, chat to any guests who asked not to have their details published: Do they feel different now? (Tell I.T. person or Agape team for ‘Going Forth’ Book.)

Any Other Business?

Closing prayer

All hands on deck to tidy up the community room for Sunday!

SUNDAY

6.45 Team rise and shine

7.00 Wake guests/pray

7.10 Team sing to guests (women only)

7.35 Gather in Chapel

7.40 Good morning! Welcome to Day 3. Let’s begin with prayer….

I’m now going to hand over to the Chaplains to introduce a special time of thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving activity (See page 183)

8.00 And now it’s time for breakfast so let’s all go up to the dining room together.

Breakfast

Would someone from the kitchen team like to say grace for us?

8.45 Short Break

9.00 Gather in Community room: singing

9.15 Well, here we are on Day 3. Although we will make sure that there are opportunities for you all to see each other after this weekend is over, it’s still hard to believe that at the end of this day, we will be going back to our separate worlds, and homes, friends and families. They haven’t been where we’ve been this weekend. They may still be living in anger and hurt. How do we share with those at home the love we have felt this weekend? X will now come and talk to us about ‘The Home Environment’.

Talk: Home Environment

9.30 Let’s just reflect on that silently for a few moments.

Now, in your table families, you have some time to discuss the talk and think about some of the questions on the screen.

9.45 Now it’s morning tea time – but it’s going to be a very special morning tea. Would you please join me up the back?

Because of being separated from your friends and family members during their time in prison, some of you will have missed celebrating birthdays and other significant events with them or may not have had your birthdays remembered or recognised over the years. Some of you may simply not have had the time, money or energy to celebrate. So, on behalf of your new Kairos Outside family, I wish you a very happy birthday, anniversary or other special occasion.

Team sing ‘Happy Birthday to You’

Birthday party and distribution of gifts (Note: For logistical reasons, some KOW communities position this celebration at a different place in the weekend program although this activity should never be rushed but allow time for guests to interact and reflect on its significance.)

10.05 Re-gather and sing

10.15 We have spent the last two days discovering that we don’t have to be alone. But it’s a funny thing about people. Sometimes it seems like we can’t live without them – and yet we can’t live with them. Relationships are often a source of huge uncertainty and pain in our lives. This is a subject that will be close to all our hearts. Let’s be sensitive to one another here – and remember the need for confidentiality, as we recall our sharing in the days ahead. X will now talk to us about ‘Relationships’.

Talk: Relationships

10.30 We aren’t going to have a table discussion about that talk. Instead, we’ll now have an opportunity to think more deeply about a particular relationship in our lives. Each of you has received a letter. We’ve asked someone to write this letter to you, to tell you what you mean to him or her. We’re sorry if it’s not the ‘right’ someone. We did our best. And we’re sorry if it’s not the ‘right’ letter: we haven’t looked at what’s inside. Just read it – and know that you’re loved. If you want to share your letter with another person here, just ask.

(Note: As a sign of ‘family’ care and support, it is appropriate for all team members to remain in the community room, quietly praying for each guest as she receives her special letter. This means that everyone is available should a guest wish to share her letter with a particular team member.)

10.50 Short break

11.00 Regroup: Singing

11.10 We’ve become part of a supportive community this weekend and it’s now time for X to come and talk to us about the benefits of staying connected once this weekend is over.

Talk: Perseverance through Christian Community

11.25 Reflection, table discussion

11.45 Panel Forum: Staying involved

I’ll now ask X, Y and Z to come out to talk about how they stayed connected with others after their KO weekend ended, and how you might do this too.

Questions:

What was it like for you immediately following the "high" of the Kairos Outside weekend?  What feelings did you have (both positive and negative)?

Did you actively seek to stay connected with your new Kairos Outside community? If so, how?

How has this connection helped you to deal with situations in your own life?

In what ways would you encourage the guests here this weekend to stay connected and share the gift they've received?

Questions from the floor (if time allows)

12.15 Lunch

Would someone from the kitchen team like to say grace for the last time this weekend? (Lunch)

(After lunch) Before we go, can I ask you to join me in thanking our wonderful kitchen team who have looked after us so fantastically well this weekend?

1.00 Break

1.20 Return to community room: singing

1.30 Panel Forum: ‘When they come home’

I’m now going to ask X, Y and Z to sit out the front so that we can hear their thoughts on what it was like for them when their family member was released from prison and what you might expect if this is something you’ll need to adjust to at some time.

Questions:

In the time leading up to your family member’s release, what were your expectation about when he/she would come home?

What do think were other people's expectations?

How did the reality match your expectations?  How did you deal with that?

What adjustments (if any) did you have to make to your routines and lifestyle?

Questions from the floor (if time allows)

1.55 Leader’s Weekend Summation

We’ve heard so many talks this weekend and I’m guessing that some of you may be beginning to feel a little confused and overwhelmed by them all. So I’m now going to give you a quick run down of what we have heard and how all the talks and reflections fit together.

This weekend began with a story about a daughter who started out making some bad choices but ended up making some much better ones which turned her life around and brought her home to the love of the father.

We also heard about choices and how they influence our lives. We asked, where is the path of our lives taking us? We can’t change the past but, regardless of what’s happened in our lives, there is a wide-open future that lies before us. It’s there for the choosing.

We were reminded that we are worthy. We may be bent over with our heads down, but gradually as we allow God’s love into our lives we can look up and feel a sense of worth and joy returning to our lives. It may not happen instantly but, with God’s help, it can certainly happen.

Next we heard about isolation and rejection and how we so often build walls around ourselves which can leave us feeling alone and humiliated. We were challenged to break free and gain strength and hope to carry on, knowing that we need never be alone because God is always with us. The choice to reach out to Him is ours.

Then we learned that the church is not a building but simply a community of ordinary people, like you and me, who have a relationship with Jesus and share life together. No-one is perfect, so no church will be perfect either but, in a good church, we can receive love and support and give love and support to others who are on the same journey as we are.

We then heard about accepting God’s forgiveness. No matter how much we mess up or turn our backs on God, His love and grace is always there for us. He is willing to forgive us. All we have to do is ask. We do this through prayer. We can talk to God anywhere, anytime. He even hears the cries of our heart when we don’t have the words to express how we really feel.

Yesterday we learned that, with God’s help, we can change and begin to deal more appropriately with our anger. Anger is a normal response to being hurt. If we never bring it out into the open & work through it, it will consume us, affecting relationships around us. It is our choice to do something about it. We were reminded, too, of the importance of forgiving others. Our home environments are not usually what we dreamed they would be and there can be people close to us who constantly hurt us. Forgiveness is a difficult process but, as many of us discovered last night, it can be wonderfully freeing as we let go our hurts and pains and give them over to God. Remember, a journey of 1000 miles begins with just one step!

Relationships are part of our everyday lives and can be really challenging. We often need great patience and strength to stay connected with others. But with God’s help, and in His time, damaged relationships can be healed. God promises never to leave our side. We need to consciously reach out and ask Him to help us show love to those around us, even those who we find hardest to love.

This morning we heard that, through Christian community, we are able to keep going in life - reaching for that better place, knowing that we are loved, supported, cared for and not alone - but we need to decide whether or not to remain connected with others in this way.

Wow! I’ve just touched on the talks we’ve heard throughout this weekend. There isn’t time to recap all those special surprises and amazing things that we’ve experienced together and that I’m sure we’ll remember for a long time. All these things were done to show you that you are special and loved by God. In fact, He loves you so much and wants to be in friendship with you. I would encourage you when you go home to actively seek out people and places where you can learn more about Jesus and His heart for you. And always remember God’s words to you and to me: “I will never leave you or abandon you.” We need never be alone if we choose to follow Jesus & live with Him as friends knowing that, in Him, we’ll always have somewhere to turn.

2.00 Table Families’ Weekend Summation and Reflection

And now we’re coming towards the end of our time together. At the conclusion of every Kairos Outside weekend, we have a time of sharing to close the weekend. We call it, simply, ‘Closing’. At this time each table family will be given the opportunity to briefly

share what this weekend has meant to her. We’d like you to choose someone to write down each person’s thoughts about the impact of this weekend and share these with the whole group a little later. This won’t be a time for anyone to read prepared material or sing or thank people. It’s just about telling the rest of us whatever is on your heart.

You’ll now have a few minutes in your table families to discuss what this weekend has meant for each of you and then to pray together.

Discussion of Closing question: What has this weekend meant to you?

2.20 We’re now going to move to a different room for another activity. Please take all your belongings and agape gifts with you, or leave them in your room on the way if you can. Everything here in this room is going to be packed up now. Don’t forget to collect your photo from this morning’s thanksgiving service if you haven’t already done that and please return your room keys……..….Now that we’re all ready, let’s go!

Main group moves to another area for distribution and checking of the ‘Going Forth’ books followed by the Cross Ceremony. The remainder of the team sets up the community room for Closing. (Servers need to make pens available for any corrections to the ‘Going Forth’ books.)

You’ll now receive what we call a ‘Going Forth’ booklet. In it you’ll find some memories of the weekend we’ve shared together, and some ideas for keeping the weekend alive in the future.

Going Forth booklets distributed to guests and team – Explain contents and writes in any amendments. If addresses have not been released for publication, ask the guests to consider providing their table leader with a postal address where reunion invitations etc. can be sent. When encouraging guests to attend reunions, the leader should mention that male friends and relatives are welcome but no children. (See page 197) Children may come with their mothers to other ‘all female’ Kairos Outside local activities (eg picnics, coffee mornings etc.)

2.30 Cross Ceremony (NB: Guests are to be clearly given the choice to accept or reject the gift of a cross and Bible).

This is what we call a ‘Cross Ceremony’. As you’ve probably gathered, we do what we do because of Jesus, whose death and returning to life again are represented by a cross. Each team member on our own weekend like this one or as we joined a Kairos Outside team was offered a cross as a simple reminder of how much Jesus loves us. And we each chose to accept that cross because we’ve experienced His love. If that’s true for you, too, I’m going to ask you to come forward and accept a Bible and a Kairos Outside cross. As our Chaplain X says, “This cross is a reminder of how much Jesus loves you”, you might like to respond with, “Thank you. Amen”. Of course, it’s absolutely OK for you to choose not to receive a cross or a Bible. We don’t want to put any pressure on you at all. Simply tell me that when I call you up and our Chaplain X will pray a blessing for you instead, if that’s OK with you. I’m now going to call out your names one at a time, in table families. Please come forward X.

Crosses and Bibles distributed individually, followed by circle of appreciation and final farewells

3.05 Closing

(NB: Guests and team are to sit intermingled, facing the front of the room so as to retain the privacy of guests as much as possible.)

Welcome to the Closing of Kairos Outside for Women number X. We have had a fantastic weekend and we’re so glad you’re all here to share part of that experience with us.

Ladies, here (again) are your Christian sisters and brothers - part of the wider Christian community who have been showing God’s unconditional ‘agape’ love for us all weekend. They have come to share this Closing with you and hear what the weekend has meant for you.

Community, these are your new sisters, who are now part of the wider Kairos family.

One of the best things about this weekend has been the way these lovely women can SING! So ladies, let’s give a gift to the rest of the family, by singing for them our theme song. [Theme Song]

Now it’s time to introduce our table families. Ladies, this afternoon, when I explained about Closing, I said that each table family would be given the opportunity to briefly share their feelings about this weekend. Well, now is the time to do that. I’ll invite each table family up to the front. Please come to the microphone and say your first name – because there are people here who’ve been praying for you, yet haven’t known who you are… Your spokesperson can come last in the line and share your combined answers to the question: ‘What did this weekend mean for you?’ So, let me introduce:

The table family of The table family of

The table family of The table family of

I’d also like to recognise an amazing team of men and women who have served with me on Kairos Outside No.X. They will remain seated while I name them in turn. Please hold your applause until I’ve read the entire list.

(Team members are to remain seated so as not to visually differentiate between guests and team.)

Chaplains

Table leaders

Table servers

Agape team

Music team

IT support

Kitchen team

Prayer team

Advising Leader

Observing Leaders, who will lead the next 2 Kairos Outside weekends

My deepest thanks to you all – and to those ‘out there’ who have made special contributions to our weekend but are too numerous to name.

Let’s sing.

[Song]

Ladies, I’d now like to give each of you an opportunity to come up here and share whatever is on your heart about what this weekend has meant for you. Again, we don’t want you to thank anybody. This weekend has been God’s gift from us to you and your being here is all the thanks we need. But it would also be a special gift to us, if you would share something of what God has been doing for you this weekend as you’ve…… (refer to the theme) I’ll give you a few moments to think about it as we sing another song.

[Song]

So, please, if you feel able to, come up to the front, tell us your name and your table family and then share briefly about what being here has meant for you. Don’t feel under any pressure – but know that anything you share will be a precious gift to us and will be treated with respect. Just while you think about that I’ve asked X, a member of the team, to come up and get the ball rolling.

[Sharing]

[Song to fill ‘pause’ if necessary]

Thank you so much ladies. That was such an encouragement. After we sing, I’ll give you one final opportunity for sharing with us what this weekend has meant for you. If it makes you feel more comfortable, you might like to bring a friend to the mic with you………..

[Final sharing]

Thank you for sharing something of your weekend’s journey with us. I know it has meant a lot to all of us who’ve been praying for you, knowing that God can do so much MORE than we can ask or even imagine. Thank you.

Now I’d like to introduce X, our final speaker, to say something about life after a Kairos Outside weekend.

‘Tomorrow’ talk of encouragement by a previous guest – maximum of 5 minutes

Thank you, X, for that great encouragement and thank you, again, ladies, for giving so much of yourselves this weekend. We look forward to seeing you at the next Kairos Outside reunion on …………. You can even bring your adult family members and friends if you’d like. Thanks, too, all you visitors for coming this afternoon. It’s an amazing gift of love and we greatly appreciate it.

Now I’d like to invite our Head Chaplain, X, to say a final blessing.

(Advising Leader to thank Leader before final prayer)

We will close with a final song: the international theme song of Kairos Outside for Women which is sung by all those taking part in similar weekends around the world.

[‘In This Room’]

Many of you have travelled long distances to be here this afternoon, so now please join us for afternoon tea – and meet your new Kairos Outside sisters.

4.10 Pack up and home!!