JWS A Family Remembers

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A Family Remembers

by Freda, Jennifer, Adrian and Tim Sunl er


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A Family RemembersOn January 8th 1991 at 4.05 a.m. our father died. The night seemed tolast for ever. When dawn did come the gales blew. Rai poured down fromthe heavens dashing hard against windows. Anyone who to venture

outdoors cursed January 8th 1991. Cold, bleak, Winter' f day.Yet at 31 Chawn Hill, the home of John William - our home - i twas not cold.As his wife and children gathered to talk about th6ir grievous loss afire glowed warming us from the ravages of the Winter's worst.But it was not just our physical selves which f o u n warmth against thecold.Our souls and spirits too were warmed.Not by a fire - not by any artifical thing - but the sharing ofmany, many happy memories; by a fulfilling pride in our' husband and father;by our love for John Sunter.It 's a great tribute to him that even at this time he has managed tohelp his family through the sadness that they feel.Memories are special.We would like to share just a fraction of our h a p p ~ memories with you.John requested that we should be cheerful at his funeral. If we weepi t is for the joy of having been so lucky to have a father like ours.John was a man with a tremendous sense of humour.Affectionately nick-named "Lofty by his family - on account of hisfive foot five height - he will be remembered for his sense of fun.As children bathtime was always fun with Lofty a r o ~ n d . Ducking anddodging the cold wet sponge he would aim at us.Gloomy restaurants would be cheered by his raucous laughing. No humanperson within listening distance could avoid being infected with thelaughter he would bring. The ice would be broken.Leg-pulling; cheekiness; good humoured banter and h e e r i n e s s - allharmless; all good healthy fun.You couldn't remain sad for long with Lofty around.During his long illness he maintained his joviality and humour.He was even joking with us on our last visit to h i ~ in hospital beforehe lost conciousness. Those last jokes and smiles will live happily in ourmemories.We will remember too the bravery he displayed d u r i ~ 9 that last visit .

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A Family RemembersHow he took especial care to make sure his wife l d n ' t worry abouthow he was being looked after. IHow, even though he found it difficult to speak he still managed totell his wife and children how he loved them. A blown i s s to his wife;the affectionate bobbing of a father's tongue to his sons and a great bigwink for his daughter.And that was typical of the man.Although he rose to be a successful company directbr, i t was perhapshis having been brought up in a Children's Home and haviing to supporthimself from the age of 14, that made him value his home and family morethan anything else in the whole world. INothing would be allowed to remain in his way when ensuring the

welfare and future of his wife and children.When he married Freda, the lady he loved and c h e r i h e d , 43 years agothey together set about building a home and family.The home he built with his wife was happy, warm ard secure. We couldhave wanted no more. Even now, when he is no longer s i c a l l y with us i tis as if he is still in his house.The cherished roses in the garden remain his.The pride he took in his home is still there in e v ~ r y corner; in everynook and cranny.He would be delighted that in spite our loss it is sti l l , and willcontinue to be, a very happy home to us all and a favourite haunt for hismuch loved grand-children.Through his support, encouragement and help all his childrensuccessfully completed higher education and gained the ~ e c u r e careers andfutures that he wished for them.

Indeed no obstacle was allowed by John - ever - to stand in the wayof his children gaining the best possible opportunities in life.[But he was much more than just a father and h u s b a n ~ .

He was a best friend to all of us as well.He was someone to whom each of us knew we could turn with absoluteconfidence for help and support when it was needed.Making sure that we never missed a school trip abroad; helping us withour work; or if we needed to borrow a garden tool, he would be there always.And there were the times when we would be down in ispirit.

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A Family RemembersPerhaps facing emotional and personal d i f f i c u l t i e s perhaps facing acareer crisis, or an important decision needed to be m a ~ e , how marvelous itwas that we would know he would unfailingly be on our - always backing

us; always supporting us; ever, ever faithful.He was proud of all his family. We are proud of He was someonewith whom we would all delighted in sharing our own, achievements in ourcareers and in our personal lives. Moreover i t was hisl delight which madeany achievement we made extra special to us.He often said, with feeling, "I shall not die w h i l ~ t my children theirchildren and their children's children live on". IThe reading you have just heard illustrates this prilosophy.But whereas John's always most valued us, his f a m i I i t would beremiss to let anyone think his concerns stopped there anone.His kindness and generosity extended much further.He was always willing to help others when he was aple - as in thesixties when he supplied lunch on Christmas Day to old ~ e o p l e living ontheir own in Stourbridge. He even organised his more than willing familyto help deliver them.Many small voluntary groups were grateful to him for helping them withtheir accounts.He will be remembered by many for the rattling of his record breakingcollecting tin in the Ryemarket on behalf of the M u l t i p ~ e SclerosisSociety. His constant charming smiles, flattery, coxing and cajoling meantthat he collected more than could have been believed!In his last years he took great pride in serving the school where hewas chairman of the governors - once again endeavouring! to remove obstaclesto the welfare of children. Children always had a spedial place in hisheart. He could never bear to see any child unhappy and would always tryto bring pleasure to as many as he could.Over the last week or so we have received many kinp letters ofcondolence from many friends. We are grateful and toucred by them all.One friend sent the following piece written by Canon Henry Scott Hollandand i t conveys exactly what John would have said:"Death is nothing at a77 . . . I have on7y s7ipped away into the nextroom . . . I am I and you are you . . . whatever we were to each other, thatwe are stil7 . Call me by my o7d fami7iar name, speak to me in theeasy way which you a7ways used. Put no difference into you tone, wearno fa7se air of so7emnity or sorrow. Laugh as we a7ways 7aughed atthe 7itt7e jokes we enjoyed together."P7ay, smile, think of me, pray for me.

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A Family Remembers"Let my name be ever the household word that it al ays was. Let it bespoken without effect, without the ghost of a shadiow on i t. Lifemeans al l that it ever meant. It is the same as ever was, there isabsolutely unbroken continuity. What is death butl a negligibleaccident? Why should I be out of mind because I aE out of sight?am just waiting for you, for an interval, somewher1 very near, justaround the corner . . . A77 is we77".John wi 11 be mi ssed by us a11. But a lthough sad tlo lose him we aregrateful, glad and honoured to have known and loved h i ~ . He would not forgive us - his children - if we did not pass on his andour thanks and gratitude to the wife he continued to l o ~ e dearly.Her unending care and patience during his illness was muchappreciated.He told us on many occasions how secure he felt the knowledge thatFreda would, as always, care for him. We know that there were no timeswhen this belief was not justified.Indeed, no one could have done more.We hope that we will do justice to his wish that he would live on inhis children and grandchildren.It will be an honour to think that this will be so.In short he was - is - a lovely man.

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JWS A Family Remembers