Jurnal Initiatic o Alta Realitate

8/3/2019 Jurnal Initiatic o Alta Realitate

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MIHAIL-PERU LUNGU

J U R N A LI N I I A I C

o alt realitate


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MIHAIL-PETRU LUNGU

J U R N A LI N I I A I Co alt realitate

SLOBOZIA, 2011


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2011. Copyright MIHAIL-PETRU LUNGU.

Mulumesc tuturor celor vzuii nevzui care au contribuit

la apariia acestei cri.


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Trezirea (contiinei) nu este

posibil, dect pentru cine o caut,pentru cine vrea i este gata s luptecu el nsui, s lucreze cu sinelesu timp ndelungat i perseverent

pentru a o obine.G. I. Gudjf

Moto


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La sritul primei cri am

spus c m interesau problemede o actur superioar celor ce leabordam atunci, i prin urmare amdecis s nu mai scriu. Acum, m-amhotrt c, aceste gnduri ce ncm mai rmnt, s le atern pehrtie.

AadarMotivai

e


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Azi, 30.07.2010, ora 09:15. Am s vn ugcun nsu. Pnu cn s scs ? Isus, unc cnd vn pPmn, n- mp, ugmn ppuu, csugcun. D c n- d- s? N- d- s s-u mschmb vsu d-ungu mpuu? As nu m cum s- u.

Dcmd... cu s xs cv c nu s pvEs dmns c ugcun nsu s bn d spus,

ch dc m--m, cum s hu d mu, cc s smuzgnd ndcn cun pcv smuv, unccnd s czu, sup chk cpuu umn. Cum?

nsu c n cu, smuz gnd hpz

su pu pz su pn. D smn cunpcv p chk cn su Shs (m s vn n z chk cpuu zc).

Snsc-s num u, cun p gnd pz cun pcv p chk Ajn ( ch).

V mp , smuz gnd d s cunpcv p chk Vshudh (chk guu).

Fc-s v , smuz musu cnz p chkAnh (chk Inm).Pcum n cu, cun pcv p chk cn-

Shs.A p pmn, smuz gnd (gnd sxu)

cun sup chk Mudh, chk pubn.Pn ns c d z, d-n- nu sz,

smuz gnd supn cun sup chkMnpu, chk pxuu s.


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JURNAL INIIAIC8

n nu g ns, cun p chkps nm, Anh.Pcum n m g n, cun sup

musuu sup Anh chk (chk nm). nu n duc p n n sp, smuz pncsu

cun sup chk Swdhshn, chk submbc. n zbv d c u, cun sup pncsuu

sup chk ps submbc.

Acs nd spus, vdm c, ch d m spun ugcunpn smp mc buz m v d cg, d s mpu su!

Acum, s vdm np cs vsu. C v d ps spun ?

Pmu vs, nsu c s n cu, s dsc Dvn. Acs vs n c xs un C, un

Spn c vzu nvzu. Ac c nsm unu Dumnzu zbun dn Vchu smn, cu C pc Isus ppvdu, C Iub, nsu, uu.Isus, vnnd p Pmn, ncu m cu ub. E s nsu, ub, c n pum ds ugmn. D cnvn mc pbm num c Dumnzu nu s numn cu c pundn. Es p Pmn! Dumnzu s n

c xs. P Pmn n Unvs. n pn csuUnvs. F Dumnzu nu p xs nmc. Nc pn, ncnm, nc mn, nc x, nc p, nc mun nc pn. Nc Unvsu. Dc, m cc nsuc pundn, n c c xs.

A d vs, Snsc-s num u, s ud dnmpn, s s snsc num u. Sn s num u.Avnhv, n buc nu nsu c snns c Lumn, Lumn pu c suc n sp.


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MIHAIL-PERU LUNGU 9

L cn s cnsd c Lumn s cumv dc ppncu snn. Cu c m mu umn cu m sn. Nus p u xp c c nu sun bz. I scu sn .

A vs, s mp S vn mp !. Acsnsmn c pm ccpm c mp c xs ncu. D, c cs mp s vn s s nsz p Pmn,m n bu s s nsz n nm ns. Acs

mp nu s un c ppu-zs, c m dgb sn, s d ccp u Dumnzu cu. Sp num np Iub. Iub Ncndn. mpu Dumnzu s mp ub.

Umu vs Fc-s v , d p s ccp uDumnzu c snguu Cnduc d dp Unvsuu/Unvsu mpc Pmnuu. Incusv ns. S s

c cum v u. Avnd cspndn n chk nm, sp np c ccp u, ccp c c v Dumnzu.

Pcum n cu, p pmn, dc cum nduDumnzu Unvsu, Cu, s ndusc s Pmnu.C dsup s cu c ddsup. I c s ddsup cu c dsup, pnu ndpn mcu unu snguucu. (Hms smgus).

Acs pm c s dsz Dumnzuu C,Dumnzuu unc, Dumnzuu .Um c sun c mn, c c pvsc mu.Pn ns c d z d-n- nu sz v

s spun d gj p c n- p Dumnzu C nsu, C c n- cu, C c n- c, dm s n b ngj. Cumv s n p dn gj ns. S b E gj d n,mu d nd. D c v spun: Nu v ngj d vvs, gndndu-v c v mnc, su c v b; nc d upu


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JURNAL INIIAIC10

vsu, gndndu-v cu c v v mbc. O nu s vm mu dc hn, upu m mu dc mbcmn?U-v ps cuu: nc nu smn, nc nu sc, nc nu sng nmc n gn; u vsu C csc hn. O nu sun v cu mu m d p dc ? p, cn dn v, ch ngjndu-s, p s dug mcun c nm u? d c v ngj d mbcmn?U-v cu bg d sm cum csc cn d p cmp: nc nu c, nc nu s; u v spun c nc ch Smn n sv u, nu s- mbc c unu dn . A c, dc smbc Dumnzu b d p cmp, c sz s, d mnv unc n cup, nu v v mbc E cu mu m mup v, pun cdnc? Nu v ngj d, zcnd: Cvm mnc?, su: C vm b?, su: Cu c n vm mbc?,ndc cs ucu nmu cu. vsu c

csc c v bun d . Cu m n mp uDumnzu nphn Lu, cs ucu v s v dp dsup. Nu v ngj d d zu d mn; cc zu dmn s v ngj d ns. Ajung z nczu . (M6:25-34)

D smn m xs p, c m s p m cc,cum c s vb d ng Unvsuu nu d pn zc,

ng cu c n hnm n, cpu v d p Pmn nu num. Nu num cu pn v mu, c cu Cuvnu cs dn gu u Dumnzu(M 4:4), spun Isus Dvuuunc cnd sp s nsm p n pn.

n nu g ns pcum m ng n. Ac s p dscu. Dumnzu nu . Exs km p c - c p pcusu v , n unc d s nu num, v dcug v um. Dumnzu cu ng p c s bzz Unvsu, su Muvsu, dup cz. E


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MIHAIL-PERU LUNGU 11

nu s s b gj d , cum m m spus, c s Lg sdnz xsn ns uu. A c, nu n v Lg nu Dumnzu. D, xs p bun n cs z.N nv s m. Isus cnd vn p Pmn, n- nvg . D c s smnc cs g, cc dup cumm m spus xs g km c nu . Aunc, ud c s ? P, smpu. Ind, nu m g km d muspcv, d mu c - cu un u vuz m pd. S

du un xmpu: s spunm c vn cnv m. vduc n c s c sc. P s- b, s zc, cc u num-m mn msun p Pmn cu vn mn m- m. C s m s c dp. Dc nu- , unc, num v v m u, nc s s nchd ccu.D s- pu s nu nc , ndu u , nu s vm nchd cs cc! u n v c nu v vu, cc v

num ucg. Dc v , unc, nu v m bu s m, pn um s v d v s ncnz m pd, nc s p d c p pmn. Ocum, n mmnu, m s p vu spu. Cc cs sscpu xsn ns p Pmn.

Acs vs n nv c dc m, pum s cm m pdpn xsn cu m mu nvmn s vum m

u. Adc, n nv s vum spu.A m xs xpc cs vs, cumv cm c cc d dnn, d spus un pc . Km xs pnu g nvmn dn c c cm. Adc, v p dcc un ucu. A d pm, v pm pm, nc u sng, s n p cu c pm c pm d n.u s p ng c nu s cm bn s d c pmcu. A c, Dumnzu cu cs g Km pnu n c s ngm c cun p c cm n mpu


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JURNAL INIIAIC12

ncn. Dc, dup c d c pm, p snc upnu c cu ns c pvc num sunp c g, unc, c nd nv, nu m bg sm p d nc d n v um.

Ad, nd g , vuz spu cnmg c unvs g s v .

Umu vs nu n duc p n n sp, d p buspus nu n s s n ducm n n sp, cc Dumnzu nu nduc nc. N s s vum. E dspz n. n vm. Es spn p c vm d pc d Dumnzu. Smm nv d pc d d cun Dvn Lu, supm Lu, m Lu.

Ac, cumv pum s jungm sp p c - vuIsus unc cnd s n pus. A vu p d sp, d dv, sp c m m s p nu vnd n vd c u

s cu sup u Isus. Acs pnu n nv c spsun cumv ncs vu spu. Pnu n cundv psb pnu n n. n Evngh dupM, n s dzvu c sp. Pm dn , c npus, dup c Isus ps puzc d z puzc d np.Ispu spus c E: D s u Fu u Dumnzu, z cp s s s c pn, E spuns Nu num cu pn

v mu, c cu Cuvnu c s dn gu u Dumnzu.A du sp s p p mpuu. Dvu - zs Dcu s Fu u Dumnzu, unc- js, c s scs ngS v punc pnu n v dc p mn, c nu cumvs zb d p pcu u , Isus - spuns: S nusp p Dmnu Dumnzu u. A sp c p unmun n, pnu -I mp um sv . I- spus: Acs v d dc v cd nnm v nchn m. Rspunsu Lu Isus s: P, Sn,


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cc s scs Dmnuu Dumnzuu u s nchn Lusngu s-I suj (M, 4:1-10).Vdm c nsu Fu u Dumnzu s sp. Insn s

pu c, s dus n pus ch d Duhu Sn c s sp,dup cum n z Bb. D c ? Isp Lu d ,pc d zc (vz pn, pn spu, sp).

A c, dc nsu Isus s ncs s sp, unc,pbb c n, mn d nd, s ncs s m sp. P

c n ju c vu spu, ncs nu, sp cjungm p Pmn. Cc pn um s s duc xsnns p Pmn.

m zbv d c u smnc p-m d c u.D p zbv nsmn scp. Aunc cs vs s juu cu Dvn pnu pd d c c s u nn. D p ngv.

Cc mp pu sv, n vc smnccun u Dumnzu c Au Supm.

Amn s Aum s Cuvnu dn c s n ummns. Spunnd Amn su Aum s c cum nugcun pn vc Vb Csmc, pn vc, pn um, u Dumnzu. Dumnzu Cuvu sun un c.

L ncpu Cuvnu Cuvnu Dumnzu

Cuvnu Dumnzu (In 1:1).Amn s c ncn su ugcun c s ducvb pzv, c s nsc p c ugcun. Es c cum m s num u Dumnzu.

As cd u c s, smnc cs ugcun. Dcmd.Amn!

Azi, 02.08.2010, ora 15:48. Un cuvn nu pnu mumn s cuvnu chk . E sun c c nn gu


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JURNAL INIIAIC14

cpuu zc cu mdu ncnju. F d nu s p .Nu p xs, cc mu nv d mdu ncnju. Exs ndpndn n cpu zc mdu n c m.

Chk s dnum n snsc c nsmn , dsc.n cnxu cpuu mnsc, chk nsmn cnu ngc.Fc chk cspund unu num nv d cnsn, ndsnsb num cu, sun, cs, mn, m.

S cunsc un num d p chk pncp, d xs

mu chk scund ( um, pm, pc, nm, cuu,c). C pncp sun g n pn cnu cn Sushumn, c s cz d- ungucn vb. n zn chk n (d p n pmchk du chk) s p Kundn, ng n cv cnn. Cnd cs s z, p s uc d-ungu cnuu Sushumn, pn cnd jung nvu chk

sup, chk cn, dmnnd umn.Chk n sn nu u ng. E pu ng dn mdu

ncnju, pmndu- s uncn bun.Exs p ng c p chk pncp mum

d chk scund. Un spun c cv su. C mmpn c mn, p, uch, ch.

Chk u pc ds, xcpnd pm s um

chk s sc cnnuu, cu nn, n sns n-. Fc chk uncnz p p nvu, pnnd d m spu. Cnd jung un nv m, c un nmn mjsus num dc pu Kund-n pn n cu cpuu, nvu chk cn p- num cu m d p, umn, ngu Dumnzu. nc n snu u Dumnzu. Acs ssdu supm v spu. V spun c cv dspc chk.


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Muladhara Chakra (chk pubn su dcn)S n pung cn vb jum pn-

uu, sgund gu cu pmnu. Cdnz smu m-suu, gnd supn, s, dn, cj gunn cpuu (c, ps, vzc un). Djz dsmn, mn xn dn gnsm zz ch-bu sxu psn.

A d bz n supvu n su d ugn.Rspund d cv, d nx, d xb. S cupd mcnsm c duc bn c c n n v cpuzc (hn, bn c.) sgund supvu. Es chk cmpmnz. O cd ps n cs chk nsmnmnv d juu u pnu supvu.

Ps uncn chk pubn c c ncpc-

d mnn sujb su un nv d dmn z- cun mpus d c. Exzz c pbmnzv cu pn n pd cp. S dschd mu n s d pc, dschd busc duc ns-b mn mp. Bc c c psn s n, cu cpu n n, su s su d bz, hmz,cnsp. nchd pduc mpn.

Cu s u pns.Emnu c cspund s Pmnu.Cmp: u d cFnp: D mj, vc U.Mp: muzc m.Amp: Cdu cu.Csp: Ag, c u, ubn, jspNup: Rs pus d s.


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JURNAL INIIAIC16

Swadhisthana Chakra (chk submbc)S cz d cnm sub mbc. Cdnzgusu, gn d pduc, nch, vzc un, chdcpuu (sng, m, spm, un,chd dgsv). Dm-n ng sc, cnmsmu, mmsmu s snzu,cnz nv d ucn mnpu, s, u.Dc s dschs, pn s p pu s ngv d psn. D ncd n sn. Bc dmn mpn,

vgnsm, b n su vzc un. d dpnd pcc cu pc cuu sxu x, cnndpcc c ns. Cz dn cs zn smn-c dsc dn punc d vd sxu. Pn cz d csnv s p pd ng.

Cu s pcu.Emnu ccsc s p.

Cmp: ngFnp: R mj vc OMp: muzc u.Amp: yng-yng, um, sjCsp: cnNup: cu pcu dmn, p mpd

Manipura Chakra (chk pxuu s)S cz n vb 12 L1. Es chk cm xpus vmpsmuu ngc. Cdnz smu vzuu, ssmu dgsv, c, spn, ssmu nuvgv pduc nsun. Es spnsb d n gn gnsmuu. Cdnz s d x sgucpc d cncn c n gnd, cspunznddschd c Lumn ng sup. Cz su cs nv nsmn m nv s cnz. Dzchbu


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duc m, nmd, m d spnsb, uc, db,nx, hpgcm.Cu s gbn-uu.Emn: cCmp: gbnFnp: M mj, dschsMp: mu nc muzc chs.Amp: vnd, zmn, bgm

Csp: ch d gu, chhmb, pz nb uu, cnNup: umn Su pnz.

Anahata Chakra (chk nm)Es su n cnu ppuu, n dpu nm, n v-

b 4 5. Cdnz musu, nm, zn sup spu, pmn, ssmu ccu, p mn (ppu).

Dmn cpc d ub, ncd n sn, bucu d , cmpsun, ccp, gz, s, cu d- vuu, scznd m su mpcu ssuu sgu cmu,mn cncn. Cz d cs nv smnc ubsc su dsc, d nu xg dn n d mung c c pu d cz. Dsunc cs chk duc scd chuu d v, sm, hpnsun su h-

pnsun , b d nm su d pmn.Cu s vd cu z n cnu.Emn: uCmp: vd, z.Fnp: F mj, vc Mp: muzc, csc, muzc sc.Amp: ndCsp: smd, jd, cu z, umn nduNup: pj n, c ndu


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JURNAL INIIAIC18

Vishuddha Chakra (chk guu)S bz guu n zn gnd d. Cdnzuzu, d pd, sgu, gu, c, mx ssmu mc. Cnz nsun .

Expm bucu, snmn, us, snz dbn, cpc d cmunc, d nu spu,nscd spc mp, sgu nsp n jus n zm vsu. Rpzn cnu cud. Dc

cs chk s nchd, nu m pm xpm m, cumundu-s ducnd p xpm gnc.nchd pduc nv. Oc ucu ns mps cumuz c, pducnd dvs b c ng, mgdsu hpd.

Es chk c m u xpus sssuu. Dsunc pdmn cu, bb, md su dps. Cz

p nsmn bu s cmunc cu n.Cu s zu.Emn: uCmp: zuuFnp: S mj, vc .Mp: muzc cu nu n, md sc, mdvAmp: sv ucp

Csp: cvmn, ucz, ccdnNup: c bsu, vu.

Ajna (Agnya) Chakra (chk cu d- ch, chuu Shv)

Es su un cnmu dsup ch, n spncn.Es cnu d cmnd mn, cvzun p c-dnz smu, gnd hpz, ch, snusu. Esmnc npcun, cpc d udmn, psb-


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d cnc cu Sn nsu n, ccsu cununvs dzv n.Ac p dmn cnuz, uncn

pm sgu pu d cncn. Dsunc cs pdmn pn, cnuz ncd, ns d dud cp dc s p dschs s p dmn msnsb nvu cu s cu gndu.

Cu s ndg.

Cmp: ndgFnp: L mj, vc Mp: muzc csc, muzc csmcAmp: mn, smCsp: s ndg, sdNup: cu d np

Sahasrara Chakra (chk cn)Es su n vu cpuu (vx). Cdnz cu,

chbu zc pshc, gnd pz sc d snn,mc, vb, vd, smnu. Es chk nu pu, bc dmn s d c, nsn dps,snz d ps d Dumnzu.

Funcn pm dmn s d cn d snn-

. Es chk xcpz, pn c spu pscpu (cnd spu jung cs nv, mu cp cnnd sn, se trezete), md p cs chk duc pcunvs pm d nm u dn s.

Cz d cs nv p nsmn vu s cnz subu s-m umz nvu bu ndp pnu nu mpdc bu bu judc psn.

Cu s b-v.Cmp: b v


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JURNAL INIIAIC20

Fnp: S mj, cnsn mMp: LnAmp: usCsp: ms, cuNup: psc nzpz.

Astzi, 14.08.10, ora 18:29. Asz vu s vbsc dspcnn. Cnn s u. S p xpc c cu cn-sn. u s cnn. m n cnn. D vm cnn. Nu p xs cnn. Nmc nu p xsdc nu xs cnn. N sunm cnn.

Osh spun c mn c nu u cnn sun cczd cc. Lps cnn dmn p ccuu.

Eu spun c mn u cnn. nm u cnn.Pn unc cnn. Dc nu cnn, unc nu

p xs. Dumnzu s Cnn. nmn nu p xsn u Dumnzu. Pu smpu nu s p.

D smn, m spun c mn u cc. D c cOsh v s spun pu c, p mn c nu cczzcnn, cczz ccu.

Nu s n gu s nu cczz cnn. Dn mmnc , d c s nu s? n mmnu n c cnn

cndus d , unc p dumu c bun. E n cd cuDumnzu, n dc bun.Mu um spun c nu cnn. As s ps. D,

c nu - scu, s s pbm. Nu p spun c nu cnn. Es c cum spun c nu xs Dumnzu. ss un nnsns. Dc Dumnzu n- xs, nmn nmcn- xs. Gn 100%.

Gudjf spun c c c s ncs s Cnn. Ocn nu p ncd s cnzc cnn c d


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m p cnzc m, ch s ng u.Cc cnn s d d m. , d p, mns bzz p m nu p cnn. M nu nmc gn. Cnn, d. C c s m pnu cnv,su pnu , nu s m pnu cnv, su .Cnn s c. D nvu d ng s d. A.

Azi, 18.08.10, ora 17:00. A d s musc cum cvspc cu pv gd umn c s- nmp cum vdu z. A s mn n-un sp m dn Bucu u mu v pu punc, p sun n s cc.vzun v s c udn, unc, cum spunm sz,cv m dvm, psnd bunu sm mn, ncc spzn u d scn dn c n c m s pn ums nc cuu n n.

D, c s- nmp, d p? D c pms Dvn cc cp s m? V bu s sbm d bun ncpu c,m nu s cv nspmn, c m dgb nccs. Acs pbm s v ndp n vu pp, cnd v vn nm. nu nmu d cum...

D c s- pms cs ucu? P, s gndm gc. L ncnn gm dsnu, mpun cu sp umn, c n ghdz.

Dc cs sp -u s dsnu, d c u vu s m? Acbu s vm mgn d nsmbu. D c cd c sun d mu cu p pn? numu s n c...Smpu. Sunm pp d c dn . Sunm pp d 2012, d jung n Lumn, und vusp s cu mu m g dc n cs pc nunc nc n m. D c? Smpu! Cc n pc umn nu v m smn sp, nu v m u p Pmn , n cnscn,dc nu vm m pu ncc, nc nu vm vu. A c


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JURNAL INIIAIC22

sp d p Pmn sun c pnu vu. As sum ncc dnn d puz. I c c u m pc ds, d nu, g cs c, c n numm dc.

Ad, c cp AU HOR EI s m, dnn d sn c p Pmn. pn um Dvn ccp chcu pc bucu cs g cs sp, cc u cpn cs g u vu cu nc p p ung sc vu.

Acs s d p xpc c s- nmp d c s-pms nmp d nc.

As bu s cum, n- smn nmp. Asbu s ngm dn- smn nmp. As s-nmp d p.

Astzi, 17.09.2010, ora 14:02. Pn dunz, cdm c xs-

du u d gu: unu, mj, ngv unu, m-n, pzv. P c m gumnm m d m sus?Cdm ( nc m cd) c gu s pnju mn- m pun cuv, mn gnn, mn ccd c s cuvn c. n schmb, gu pzv cns-dm c ccsc mn cuv, dsp, c c u juns un nv d cuu gu d g.

cs , cu c nu m s pv n ,m ccp- dn cuz un vzun c m vu- n mpuun md. n c md m- pu n Ahngh-u Mh. Nnd cn s (cc d nu sc p E su subE !) nnd sgu p mn, cu c n dncu suuumu m, m nb p cnv, c p ng mn, cn pu cs psupus Ahngh. L ndu u, cs m- d-s nb: cum ? u -m spuns: mpun, p-c m sd, pc gs. Dn c mmn m-m gnd


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n gnn m c sucu sup p gs.D cum m c nu s dc . D p d c m nss ucu? Rspunsu -m , n dscu p c mvu- cu un sp umn. Du pbm sun d ns c.

Pm dn , c n pcpm un ucu n uncd cum sunm n. n pncpu, ucu c s nmp, suncumv mp, d pnu c n cm gm (ddsp s, d!). C c n pcpm s n unc d

sucu ns. Adc, dc sunm , g, vn,vm pcp un ucu c c nd un ucu u. Dc sunmbun, ub, su, ucu p c vm pcp v , dncn, bun, pcu muu suuu.

A du pbm d bd c nc mc nu m u sm xpm unc cnd m s nb dsp vzun m.n c d snz d sup, d gu, m cc s

spun, c snz d m, d sgun. m s-pu c s m cc! Sun sm u d d...Rvnnd gu, cum cd c nu m xs dc un sngup: c u. nu xs gu bun. Ogu nu s s bun,np, mpc. Ogu s dmn d g. A mp c gu, g, nu p v spu. Cum m pc m s spun,nu c spu. O cs s snsu xsn ns...

Azi, 19.09.2010, ora 17:56. Au d m pum sdscum dsp p uu. Am ns cs subc d mmu n c m, Junu cu d sn nc num juns sb. Innnz s m bdz cs su-bc p bg, d, vu s spun d ncpu c nu v cum-v bd cnscuv, c v unc cnd v cnsd dcuvn c v bu scs. Cum s- nscu u? L nvu uDumnzu Cu, u nu xs, n- xs nc nu v xs.


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JURNAL INIIAIC24

L nvu u Isus m js, u xs. Cum? Ch c- xs du. Cc Isus s un sp pdmnn ms-cun, d n cs xs Mc Dmnuu c sun sp mnn. As nsmn c xs du. M js, nv d Ahngh, ng, xs d smn. C s m spu-nm nv d mn... Dc nv d ng, Ahgh,xs u, d nd pusu , nv d mn xs un nu sucu u. Du nv d ng sxn, dc p spun , nv d mn s nn.A v s xpun nmp psn dsp cs subc.

Em vnu mn unu pn, ppndu-n d . Lun mmn d m ncc s dpsc un IR, mn ung. Innd n dp u c mn cc ncu nu m um s c d . Fnd p cnsns, pu mn dn . Ac dn m ncc s m nnz,

d nvnd und s m duc m ms p cnsns, c c dn m ncn s p dp. Dup cv mp m uss dpsc mn IR. A cu cs vnmn m gndmc dc, dup c -m dp, pus smn d v, un smnuu, c ns c d dn cs smn? u c ncc s v ccdnu ns c smnu d vs un smn d muum dn p m, c cu IR-u

ns c -m nju. Cum, c smn s ns dd d mn? Rspunsu c s ns n unc ch dsucu n cu. C c s bun su nccs ju smn v ng dup suu u. Adc -m muum.C c s hn su ncc s c u n ju smnu v ng dup suu u. Adc njuu. Cc s smcumv cu musc p ccu. c ncc s c cv u,cv c nu s n mn cu mdu ncnju cu Dumnzu pn um d un smn nuu ng c c sucu


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u n dcpz. Ru. Cnn u nd n nup ccp ucu bun. Fnd , p c un sun cndmns mn . E bn nu s . Cc mn u b bu.A c bu s v. Cc dc sucu u n c, dmu nu c nmc n snsu s, unc p u d vn s cnu v s ccz pcsu d vu. Cc d vu cum vum pn um. Dpnd d d mpu ncs.Exs du cg d mn c c u. Pm, mn cc u , d c cun c dmn u unu dmnbn u ppu. Acs s un pcs vsb, ndvdu sp schmb. M ns. A du cg, s c c cu dn smp pc. D dsp s d.

Azi, 29.09.2010, ora 21:03. nb mu mn s: cv n 2012? Es un subc c m n ns uu.

D c 2012? n cndu m xs un ncpu c s m-j ccp c nd 13 ugus 3114 .H., d pus sub smnunb d . Sun m mu ssm d ccu cnduu,spcv ncpuuu Cnduu Lung (cc xs un cn-d scu). C m uz s c num GM (Gdmn M-nz Tmsn). S zz c n cndu m cndu ggn. D bu vu n vd c ggnu

s ndus n nu 1582 D.H.. Ad, s xnd d n cupn d cnduu un. M Ccu 5126 d n.Un smpu ccu n c d d s s 2012. M xc

21 dcmb 2012.n c P my pnu 2012 u Gd Bndc

sun pzn cv dn p c u gu cu su M-u Ccu. s bzz p nsm n mu-u. n-un dn s spun ...n n nvu csmc,pn c mn v pu ng n s spu, pnu


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JURNAL INIIAIC26

c n s dvn Kukucn. bu pcz c Kukucn sDmnu Lumn, c c s Isus pnu cn.Acs M Ccu s sucu p 13 Z (su Cu), d p

p Z s Np , Z vnd pxmv 395 n. Mvu un cnd ccc nu unu n cum s cnduggn. m mpn s c cs cnd m nus d snmc cum s c Ggn, c s scu pdcv. E pzn d mpn sup v p Pmn.

Mdc c u vu c n s u s pzs d cndumy. D xmpu, pn juu nuu 434 D.H.(ncpuu cud- 10- c su cnc np), hunu A c Eupcn mpns bu gmnc s pd Rm, c c dmn cd Impuu Rmn. bu spus c Z ucc pzv, Np u cc ngv. xmp pcnnu.

C Jhn Cmn n c s Cndu my nsm cnn sudz ccu scu (zkn). Dsmn s mp n p Z s s Np. Cnmcsu cnd, c cu Azc, sun m mu ccu dc pn c Ccu Nn c ncpu n nu 3115 .H.,Ccu Pn c ncpu n nu 1755 D.H., Ccu Gccc ncpu n nu 1999 Ccu Unvs c v ncp n

nu 2011, n bu. C c s nsn s c cs umCcu s v s n nu 2011, m xc n 28 cmb 2011.S p c nsm v v c nv d cnn

umn v cumn cu nun cnn du,ccsc Ccuu Gcc, n c n m nc.

S spun c v ccu n c mu v ng Iumn. Vdmn pc n ub. Schmb c v v c v n, c m mpn m pun mpn cx. Dn 2011 pn n 2012 s psb c mn s cu


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md d dp nu Cnn csmc. Acs ssu ccu. Nu ccu d . C v um dup2012, dc v ncp un nu d ccu su nu v m ncpnmc, vm n cund.

Azi, 08.10.2010, ora 18:55. V cnnu s dzb dunun undmn: bn u.

Gudgf spun c u s subcv. Ru s pnu m

c c s pun dn s, nsnc s, ns sucncp s d bn. As u nu xs dc.

n vngh dup Luc (d, xs cv) s spun cu s p ndp bu u Luc c, n-dv us p ngn dn m.

S ncpm cu ncpuu L ncpuu um, DumnzuCu cu Unvsu vzb nvzb, cu nm

c cusc pn, - d Cnn n unc d sdu d dzv. n pnz spus, nmc nu p xsn cs Unvs/Unvsu, dc nu pm Dumnzu. Adc,nu p nvn mn dc dc Dumnzu pms ms d d mn nc s xs mc p c s cnsu mn. A c, Dumnzu ms d d bn.Ap n nn Lu npcun ms d d u. D c?

Cc Dumnzu s Iub, s bun spun cnv. D sbun, d Dumnzu ms n g dup c s ghdz Unvsu cu c s n . un dn g spun c, dc g v p cu c mnd pnu g . Esg km.

Dc Dumnzu pms s xs bn, bu s pms xs u, cc bu c un chbu. A cum czu np, cum c nuncu umn, cum c ng K (su Ch) ng K, c bn


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JURNAL INIIAIC28

u. Bn u, c nun. Adc pms uu bnu ss mns. Cc, pn um, s bu bu.C vu m , sp p c E - c, dc

xs num bn? S- m pu num vu? cu s Dumnzu nu s p num du. Nu. E s. A. P Enu-L nsz du. Nu. Nu-L nsz dc u nu cnm pncp Lu cum. Ocum v . A vnc ds-pz. vm jung n snu Lu, m dvm su m zu.

L cs nv d p, m dvm su m zu nc nu xs.Cc nu xs mp. Ac, c nv, xs Vnc.

Aunc, d c xs Idu? c sun dmn, dv? Acum m scs n c c, Ru Idu sun z p cn, num c sun nvu d. App d Dumnzunsmn Ru, dp d E nsmn Idu. Cc Dumnzunsmn Iub. ps Iub, ps Lumn duc sun.

D cn jung n R, cn jung n Id? n R jung spc c v u Dumnzu. Adc pc pncpu Iub,Lumn, Pc. Iub, c bu, cum spun Hss, s ncndn. Adc, s ub p u, d p c c- cu un u. S ub dumnu. As s dvd vd Iub! n Id jung c c c u , d pc, d v,d nv, su c c nu v s s n spu. Sun n gn

sp n, su sp n, cu vs s mc (cu cnn js). A snd ucu, nsmn c ms un mmn d, n- cp vnc, pn Id.

n Id cum s? P cum s , s nunc, u, pu-zcun, gz, c, c c nsmn ps u Dumnzu.I c dv sun n sp n. C, cd u c pvu, d nu v! Cc c s b, pn um s g su. D, n-un n, nu vm jung n snu uDumnzu? bu d s v!


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Bb spun c, un mmn d, un ng s- zv.Aunc, u s sng dp dn sp su ng. -u z mp pu pus u Dumnzu. D c?Pnu c nu puu cxs u bn n c c. Sund p d. Dc, u nu p xs dc n bsnbnu. As nsmn c dc c v u Dumnzu, n- dc s c d dv. Cc u s pnd num dc vunb. Dc u u, dc c u u, nnn,

dc nvds, dc gs, hn su, dc nu m-pc, dc gs, gn smn. u dpn-d d n. Dc u n cd cu Dumnzu, unc u sn gu. Cum n nv Isus n m s gnz F, d, v dsv pcum vsu C csc dsv s(M 5:48).

Azi, 15.10.2010, ora 00:11. L nvu u Dumnzu Cu,nu xs nc bn nc u. Exs num cun. A. L un nvn Lu, xs du, d nu d gnu bn u. cp xs, d pcc, nu. D c? L nvu u Isus, u xs,c nd un pus c c pzn E, d nu-L p c. Lnv pn Pmn u xs ( s p c xs dn pn) p c mn.

C u s xs, bu c Dumnzu Cu s pmscs ucu. Cc dc E nu m d, nu p xs nmc.Am spus- m dvm, nu p nvn mn dcDumnzu nu ms n unvs d d mn, nc sxs mc d mn n . Oc s p Pmn s ncu! c s n cu, nu xs dc dc Dumnzupm s, dc dc Dumnzu m c d. Nu s p! D c m Cu c xs d d u? Asnu um s ng...


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JURNAL INIIAIC30

Ru s ncs n vu. n vu gsn p c cm n p cs pn c s pum c d un num nv,s pum nscd cnn du. As s p mpn vu spuu. Un xmn gu p c n, cncn p Pmn bu m s d cd s susnm!Dup c vm nscnd cnn du (dup cndu m,dup dcmb 2012), n vm ncn p pn (sup ch c, cc Pmnu s pg pnu 2012)und nu v m xs u. Nu vm m pcp u. u v cu dn ub pn ub. Pn Cp spun c bubu nsmn d p uz uu, cc ub s cAdvuu, s c d um. Nu bu dc s uz, snu pm, s nu ccp u. Dc p c s dc v sc s, unc p c c bun. Nu bu s c nmc cnum s uz u. A. v ps um p c bnu.

S spun n vngh dup Luc c u nu xs. C p-bm s mn du muu. Ac sun du pbm. Pm,s spun c c m m cg dvuu s s c s czc nu xs, d p. B d, dv xs, d, nu p bddc dc s bdb. Dc vunb. Dc cvn d vb smn cu u. P sd mn cxnz ps-u m d c. D p u g cs ucu.

Rvnm c c spun pn Cp. bu s ums nunm cnn du. Dc uzm u, sunmum p c c bun. S num n pu ns s cmcs ucu.

nchpu-v c p pn sun num mn vu spu.Num sn. C s m v u? Cc nu s pnd dcdc s d v. D un num nv, u nu m cz. unc, d c m bu s xs? Ru xs num pnunum sd d vu. As nu um s ng!


31/166


Ap cu nbd zu cnd nu vm m du! n vs su um!

Azi, 06.11.2010, ora 09:36. Un subc m dc pnumj mn s c dsp m. D ncpuvu s spcc c vbsc dsp m nu nu dspsnucd. Cc snucd mpc mu nd cmpc!

M n zu d z s vzu c cv nspmn, c pd cu dg, pnuu, puu (s pps d cs- nmp z s). D c pcpm s ucu?

P vm dc, m vzu c un vnmn pzvn v cmun ch pnu xsn cu dcd. L zs mmn s chu s s d, m vs.D c? Pnu c, unc cdn c c c u mu s nccs. Puncu d n (c n zc) u. N, pm

Cu vnm p Pmn d n vz. Dup c sumc c sum, n ncm cs. V vzu c mCLORIE.

D pxmv 1500 d n, d cnd bsc h sc- d d ncn dn Bb dn v mn, n- sndus GREI d cum c nu vm dc v. O v dc nu p gs su. Snsu v p Pmn nu p

xpc d pn- v. Mnndu-s cu pv cs ucu, bu s mn cu pv , cc u nnu. uncs-u schmb mu dn c c s num snsu v muu pPmn, dn xsn Cuu, dn c ns c sp c cpu zc mu c u ms un spunspuzb xpc d d sun d- dpu h.

Ad, d 1500 d n sunm nv ALCEVA. n mdc. Avnd n cnn ccv cs mncun, m snv s ccpm c vm sngu v c unc cnd


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JURNAL INIIAIC32

pdm, pdm . D smn mn c s mzn- v n dmn s cnm s. Cc n gndn, n ssm, sunm nv c mn nu bus b c n- v d m. Omn sun sp d m dngnn. Nu u, su nu v s nmc dsp m , pnum, nnd nmc dsp s, sp.

Dc, cum m nv zc mcnc, schmbm puncud n, vzun ns sup nmnuu num m

s schmb, d smn. Smp zc. Asd...Sunm sp vch d cv md d n, c bu s

vum, s cm pn p vuv (c gdn,sc, dn cs I pn n- XII-, cu, ..m.d.). Pnus bu s n ncnm s n ncnm, pn n nvmc. m n s su d n pmn, p Pmnzc d n. Aunc, d cn pnm, d Pmn su d As?

n cv md d n m mxm cv mn dn ncn. Aunc? M s jusc s un cdnc? Cc c n cnnu, ch dc nu ns s pcp cs xsn.

n cund vm vn cs cdn, c s cdndv c s n msu s n c n-dv s pcpmADEVRUL.

Azi, 07.11.2010, ora 22:34. Am scs n c m dsppsb xsn unu zs Muvs. Cum c, cdmnsun p cnsd un Unvs, Unvsudun dmn un Muvs. A cum pn- n p s nn d punc, pn c punc p dn un pn sch dmnsun. Asd xs nn d pnu c n- c n , n cnscn, nn d dmnsun. Ass un xmpu n 2D! S p xp s 3D.


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Dc xs nn d dmnsun, INFINIAE, uncp xs smun nn d pn Pmn. O nnd s (c un pnu c psb). D xmpu,undv n- num dmnsun, H cg zbudn n 40, su Iscu nu - d js p Cuscu, Su. Su,su nn. Aunc, n c nn, n n pum cpp . Exs pnu c ndvd. As su, cum ncc s xpc . Fc xs p

num cvn d vb. n mmnu n c nu n cvb n mum n- p c n m c- n- dmnsun p, n c dmnm s n nnm cu psn d c vb, cu c cu. Rs pp c. Pcc, unc cnd Mhm Gndh spunc bu s schmb p n nsu dc v s schmb cvn um, d p s cd c s . Schmbndu- p n,

v n c d n, c c v ncn vpu g pnu , n vu buu bu dc v ss schmb , c n.

Am vzu un mu n c cnv c chnng cuun xsu. c ng: v cs z n vzuu s dschz. c un num d cn d v svz un num pgm d p un num cn. Sz vzu

p num cvn pnu c s vz c pgm. A cudmnsun p. E cxs, c s psu V, d nu pccs dc un sngu ps n-un num mmn. Dmnsunp nd smn n , nu zz cnd c dn-un pn n-u, dn- n-. Pcc n- cnsum sngu, d bu s m nm n . nmmnu n c schmb , v s . Esv p c - d-, s v p c v s- . Fndn- d d , v ncn mj cu c


34/166

JURNAL INIIAIC34

c u d vb smn. D xmpu, dc v spu nu v ccn cu c c u vb js, cu c c dsc s c u, cu c c sun hn su.D c, pn s bn s nu d u nmnu, ccp nun p c cnsu pnu n, chdc nu cnn n c mmn (su vd) d s.Cnsundu- jung s n . Cnd? Dpndd n.

Schmb un pc pcp sup um, nu?

Azi, 10.11.2010, ora 22.41. Dsp g m s v xpun ncv ndu p m. Am ncc s csc c scsd un cug dx. M s- p, un mmn d, cumc nu csc c dn-s. Su num s d c. I-mspuns psn spcv c, dc m s csc num c

dx m s u num p, c dx. Dc csc dnm mu g, v v p m cmp. Am m spus- p. C sp mnu nu s zv NUMAI unsngu g. L mnu s p jung p m mu c. Ec dumu d Sbz Bucu. Pnnd d Sbz,p jung Bucu p usd p Uzcn. Nuc s mpn, c nu . Ad m ncc s csc

c dx. Nu m u. n c s dscs num csp mnu su ns, d nu xpc d c bucu un su . Es ndcn c n m g.A, dn c c p u pcp, dvu mpn, d sunspus n- mn ccsc bsc. F chs , c ucum un pcs un nmc. Dc nu c b judc Dumnzu. Acs n nu m s- pv ncd. Nu pccp chs cu cd nu cc. Eu spun c bus ccm. Vm jung c zu. D, p dsup,


35/166


p xpc d c bu s cm un su . I puc nu s c g, c bmz, m c s cd c csm vzun p cgc sns, c cum Advu bsu, nnccnd s s p, cc cn pcs Pmn s supus g. V spun c hndusmu sn u, budsmu sn u bhmnsmu snu pbb g. Nu spun c bsu gsun bun. Nc u nu sun d cd cu mu dn , m

s c dn vs. Odxsmu, d, un m vnj dccsm, cnsmu un m vnj d gn. D s nu nsmn c g n nu sunbun. Su c g n nu u vnj d cnsm.V spun c (nu ) sun d mu m cu dc cc juns cum cnsmu d c s unc cnd n -dus Isus!

M pm s c p un n n cu munvmn n . n schmb m gs c cu un n u . Snc, m p u sp c pn um s gssc c dx d c s u mndu!

Azi, 13.11.2010, ora 00:06. V c un mn p c cump s- xpc m d: cmpsun. Am sm, n s,

cmpsun! Am ncc s m xpc c s Cmpsun.Am c, d nu p spun c m ns- pn sz. n-cc dv mn s dnsc, d nu sm. n Dcn-u Expcv Lmb Rmn, cmpsun s dn s:m, cmpm. Supc ncnvng ( p ng).Asz, n s, m sm-. N-m s ncc s spun c m sm,c d c s un snmn xdn, un snmn n!M bucu nspus c m vu, su c m s- d cz s sm cssnmn. D cum s- nmp...


36/166

JURNAL INIIAIC36

N sunm Unu. Dumnzu s c n ncnj.N sunm . N sunm c. Nu xs nc dnn n, mn, nm, pn. c v sunmAc. Nu s nc dn. sunm Unu.

Es cum c xs sngu pcu c n numcnd s dpsz cu vz nn dmn mnsdvs. M xpc... pcu c s dpsz cu vznn n du punc nu s pcpu c sngu pcu,

c c du su m mu pcu c snz n puncspcv. nchpu-v, mgnd p sd, c bsu u scu dn- sngu pcu, c pcu dn c suncu v. , d bsu s cu dn- sngupcu c s mc cu vz cu mu m m dc vzumn, pcc cu vz nn, dup c bn dn csbsc gm sc. c c xs s m dn-

sngu pcu. Pcc nu xs cu, pzn v, c dACUM (v vn cu cs pbm).

Pvnd um s, v vd c u c cu c c c png n, c u c cpc, c nm, c m, c dnccu u! D-b unc p Cmpsun. D-b unc pcs snmn d , d dgs, d ub ncndn d C c Es. As s d p Cmpsun. Mnun

snmn. Muumsc c m s- pms u!

Astzi, 23.11.2010, ora 15:25. D cmpsun v c unps sp ng.

Eng... sunm ng, mncm ng, spm ng...A cum m m spus, n 2007, unvs d pn Sud

pc, g cnu. , cum, s m dn nund! Ecnu s ng, d. L sc m mc,quc, gun, bsm, s vdn num ng. M um,


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un mmn d, un pj p Dscvy s spun c,dn ccn pn, su unu pn cu un cn (nu mpn c pcu) u zu nu u c pcumnuscu, d dnu su, nu usc s csc. Evdn,cc d un num nv, nu m sun pcu n dvusns cuvnuu, c sun buc d ng. S- juns cuhng nv, nc s p msu ns cun dng. Dc, ng nu s bu n cu. E s mp

cum v n mpu un ccn. nu dup num gu. Spc m-m cu ns.

Avnd n vd c n sunm cu dn cp zc ( ),cpu zc s cu dn gn, gn sun cu dnsuu, suu sun cu dn cu, cu sun cudn gn cu, gn (bzm, zzm, nucu ..)sun cu dn pn, pd, gucd vn msc,

cs, ndu sun cu dn m d cbn, xgn,z, su, hdgn, s , m sun cu ndu dn pn, nun cn, m js d s num num ng. Pcc, nv mcscpc sunm m, nv mcscpc sunm ng. Acs nmn s vb pnu mnc ns c d z, gum, cn. Dc, pcc, n, nv mcscpc sunm ng

nv mcscpc mncm ng!C dmn nsm s dn ng n m,n c cp? Fzcn u z c n, cpu zc (s dm xsn cpu c) nu sunm ch summ dn c sunm cu. pn um c dmng uu cs m pcc ng, nc smz un m, xsn? E cu n pzn xsn c cs num bsmu Hggs, c c g c m, mcu,cum v, n mpun.


38/166

JURNAL INIIAIC38

D p c c n cs mcu mpun s Cnn, dmn d ng m s cu d vb.Pn smp schmb vb (cscnd- su scznd-)ng s p nsm n m vcvs. As,cscnd vb m, mcu, m (cpu) snm n ng, scznd vb ng, dmpvng dvn m. O vb m sczu dmn m, vb cscu, dmn ng ( cczz!).

Smp s h!

Astzi, 28.11.2010, ora 16:24. Mu uzm xpsdsp c d mc s um c p xpc snc cd m s c. D nu nssm ncd cu dv...n mmnu n c ng cu dv, sm c zcumv, sm un snmn ccsc, unc. Nu u cu c s-

cmp. Ocum cu m, d nu s m... s pcpum c ncnj. d sm c d gnn pnn c mmn. c xs um, d nu z s ndncu u... cmpc d xpc... vb d snmn, snmn nu s p pvs.

Exs du u d mn. Pm cg s c c nucd dc dc vd. Sun mu d dscu c. Vzu s d

unu dn c cnc smu p c vm (nc). Dc n-m nscu b, n- m xs nmc? Pnu c b S xs? Pnu n gx xs, cc nu -vzu nmn? Su d mc p dn mn. p- nc nu - vzu n md dc. P d -u ddus xsn-. M g p un -u vzu, cu sgun. C d pp, dnjuu gx ns, cc xs g. D d c s- cdm?P n mn. P nu xs dc cv gx . Ccsu nu s vd n md dc.


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Quc xs? Cc c dn pmnn -u vzu? Ps cnsp un s n c s cdm c xs d p nu xs... s n c s CREDEM... ng xs? P, -vzu cnv? dc - vzu, cn sun c c -u vzu? Sund ncd? Nu cumv vun n? Es cumv vunzcn num, s- pum cd? Cc dc s vun sum, s dmn d ncd?

A du cg d mn s c c cd s

vd. Eu cd c cs cg d mn s m pp dAdv. Au, nu- vd, d cd c xs. Nc xgnu dn nu- vd, d cd c xs. Cu c sun sgu c -u vzu pun dn mn. Rud Sn spun n Ihspu c n um zc um: D pn sunm ncnju mpu d vnmn spu d n spu. c c s pc dn punc d vd

m nu s dc xps un spu ucu c n nmpn sub m m sun numnvu x un n spu.

Sp xs. Sun sud ng g d mupn c p vd um. D s dv? Dcsun su? C c vzu sp s cumv vun psunvs dmn d ncd, su s vun ch-bch,

un c...Ahngh xs. Ch u nsum -m vzu p AhnghuMh. D nu s v nchpu?

Isus xs. A xs n s. Su nu... Ch zs cu c c s-u scs n Bb? Su d chs scs s nbuvsz mn s n p cnduc bsc...

Dumnzu xs. L- vzu cnv? Su nu xs...V spun c n c z vd p Dumnzu, d nu v d

sm! Unvsu vdu xs pn n n n, d nu v


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JURNAL INIIAIC40

d sm. ng, Ahngh, sp d umn, xspn n, d nu n dm sm.ncm cum pnu un v d cs II nu xs

chm, zc mc, su mmc sup, , pnusdu un d vu, nu xs ng, Ahngh, Huvm,Sm... Dumnzu...

Dcmd... z, m gs n- c np Gnz. Absu

mcb. Am s scu cuvn cu cuvn, s nu gsc cv.Gnz s pund smbc; np d-m nu

pm ng Ab v s cpu umn. Ssmu cbspn

smn cu un b su, pu muu nd dcn, nv n, mu. Cpcu ssmuu nvs, pducdn bundn uc dcs- c vd, uzuu,

msuu, gusuu, ppuu d c mu s p bucu nc m. D xpn sxu c muu c sgs n cnu csu cp (n mjcu cs gdn) snzs dc nu p cn cs ng.

p pzn ng ssmuu cbspn (Kundn)ncc n juu u nsu, c smuz cn ngcsu d- ungu mduv spn. Adm s un, Ev

snmnu. Cnd cv (m) su cnn Ev,nn c n umn, s dmn d mpusu sxu,un n, su Adm sucmb.

Dumnzu c n umn mznd cpubbuu m pn Vn S. E - d pu d s pduc n c mn dvn su mcu . nucpn unc ms pu c gnu nm c

cndus d nsnc ps d ngn, Dumnzu c pmcpu umn, num symbc Adm Ev. Acs, pnu


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v vu cc, E - ns sn s dvn.Run pdmn Adm, m Ev snmnu.Acs s xps du c mpgnz ng umnmn. Run snmnu mn n cmunun c mp c nu s cup d mpusu nmc.

A, cpu umn nu s zuu vu c ncp d gnu nm; c u ncs un c spc dn pu Dumnzu. Fm nmc u p gs pnu c

dvn s s p v n ; mu s d n md unccu cn ngc d ms cp su n pn sub nvu cn vb cuu, dn c usucu 1000 d p , dn zn cuu cpuu, pm numn s n n cmunun cu Dvnu.

Dumnzu su Cnn Dvn pzn n pmu cupu- su s gus dn bucu umn, cu xcp un

sngu: snz sxu. Acs u nzs d m cumn, c nu s cnz cs ng, s nu smpmsc n sxu nmc...

Cun bnu uu pms Ev d c p,s c xpn du, p pus...

Azi, 30.12.2010, ora 23:59. Am c c c s num

Ih spu, d Rud Sn. C s nspdn Dns Apgu. Am s scu cv dn c s, Opcmp, m-m ju d un c gs p nn. Asd c s c m xs um, cu mu m vs dcc vzu.

Ih c sun n num d nu, ndu submp n dn mj, num d: pm, s c m pp d Dumnzu cupnd Sm, Huvm nu, c cu mu ch mu p. A d dn


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JURNAL INIIAIC42

s m dn Dmn, Vu (su Pu) Spn, cd- dn s m dn n (Ah), Ahnghs Ing. Num c d ngc ndc ccscdvn pp , n xpc Dns Apgu: Snu num Smsmnc c c d su, m mpd spus, c c puc . C Huvm smnc cunpn. Num nu ndc vcn nuu dvn,nd vb dc d sp n c s n md

pp u Dumnzu pmsc n mn dc mdpcun cun dvn. Dns Apgu mc Ingn c sun v s msg c c pcd. C m v sun nm dc d Dumnzu, nmp c c, c dup sun sub u nnm d Dumnzu. Amn suvn uu ucu pvzu, n dn s d ju n s s vz s s

dsvsc, dspun c n n ngnn cdu un h dn sc. Iumn PncpuuDvn s mpnsc m n n p pn n s nsmnu, mn, v sup.

Ih ngc nu:C dsp num nu,sp n subm, cs n c nscndd pu c ncn ngv, c sp c

vu dsv n-un md supmnsc, c s dzc md c udn jsnc, c su n-un md m ncnn juu Cu Pn, c p c c pg dn PncpuDvn cu un cm d nczu n s c sun pu uDumnzu, dsch s pmsc du s.

Ih ngc Sm: Dsp smnc numd Sm, Dns m c: Nbs s cnnu mc n cdu R Dvn, cdu, bn, ccucs n mc cnnu, sb s m, c um


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s- duc p subdn hc c nv cu ,vndu- ng, cndu- s d s s s ncz pnng vb g cu , pu puc d nnssmn cu c uguu, nu umns succ nu s cuz c nu p sns ncd, umnndc bscu submnd c c s ngv, cs ssmnc numu d Sm.

Ih ngc Huvm:C dsp num huvm-, cs vz pu d cun cnmp Dv-n, cpc d pm du d umn c m n d cnmp dmn Pncpuu Dvn n pu s g-n, cpc d s ump d npcun d cmun-c, nvd, c dn dnu um, pp cun.

Ih ngc Dmn:S vdm cum dnu n-md n ng, num Dmn, Vu su Pu

Spn, num c n vz ccsc . Eu cd,spun Dns, c num v sn Dmn n cpc d v, c ncd nu s dmnu, ndb d c cmpms; nu cb, nu spund ncd- un dzmns nc, sun dsup csv dgdn, n c m mu psb n cmunun cuPncpu Dvn.

Ih ngc Vu:Num sn Vu smnccuj n cv, un cuj c nu bs ncd scumuz umn Pncpuu Dvn c s nns mn sp -L c p Dumnzu n n .

Ih ngc Spn: C dsp num snSpn cs g n gd cu Dmn cu Vu,b d cumu du dvn, pu supmn.

Ih ngc n (Ah): A h c-sc cupnd n, Ahngh ng. Dns spun:


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JURNAL INIIAIC44

Num n ndc un cc dvn suvn pu- d cmnd, c s n pc cnsnn cu pu suv-n; s mdz dup c Pncpu Unc, zv uupncp; , cu juu bun cdn h suv-n, xpm cs pncpu c Pncpu dn suvn.

Ih ngc Ahngh:Snu dn Ahngh-, pn pz s cn n h s g n md g d sn In c d Ing. Ahngh pmsc p sc-

hc umn Pncpuu Dvn pn nmdu dnpm s nsm pn d bun Ing, c ndu n mns nu, c spuns sn udn c cdvn umn d Dvn.

Ih ngc ng:Cu ng, spun Dns A-pgu, s nch s cmpz dn Fn c,pnu c ng, um dn n cs, psd cc-

u d msg sun c m pp d n; d c, mmu dc c s pv num d ng dcscn s c d s cup d c c s mns, m mu, d ucu dn um cs.

Azi, 16.01.2011, ora 23:41. Dsp xsn u Dumnzup sun mp. Sun mn c nu cd n sucu

sup, pndu--s ps D c nu n s p c mm dscp? C m m z? Es cumv nm? En ucu?

Am s ncc s xpc cs ucu...Cm dunz Dsp h csc Snuu Dns

Apgu. n c c sc c xs nu cu, zcnd u Dumnzu. Sun sucu sup mn,sucu c u vu su u s c. Eu cd c sun v-u, mc pn un num nv. A cum xs m mu


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nvu d xsn , d c nu, d cnn n cu, xs nvu d cnn p Pmn. Sun su, su.Un s ngz n su n, n su su-p. C c p un s m sus p m js?

Smpu. Cnn mpc vs cu sp. bus c pnz s spun c n nu sunm cpu zc pc- vdm n gnd. N d p sunm un sp c cv md d n vchm su vs, c n ncnm

ncnm ns. D p s un s. D mduz. Rvnnd... dc nvu d cnn n dmn cusu spu, su cu und vm jung dup c vm pc dncs um. Und vm jung pvzu.

S u m cnc. Omn c u vs s m mc dc m pun ncn u un nv d cn sczu. Acmn nu u cpc d pcp p Dumnzu sucu

sup nu. E cd c num c c s vd xs um szum d c c s vzb. D bu nu c nu sun dcndmn, cc c cu cnn sup u cu pncs sdu. Es un sdu bgu. Oc c ung nc-p cu un pm ps spun vb np. C s jung n cs duspzc bu s ncp c cu cs n. Sngu pbm c m cndmn c n bz buu

bu nu ccp sub nc m cv, nd cgc.Omn su sp, s u m cc, c u vs sm u cnn dc, c c pm s sc cucudn xsn sucu sup mn, chs cmunc cu .

Aunc cnd v pc d p Pmn, cs sp s vnc n cu cspunz nvuu d cnn ns. Sv nc n c c su m sus.

n unc d pgs cu.


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JURNAL INIIAIC46

Azi, 20.01.2010, ora 21:50. M um d c d sup-c mn. Asz sm cu cnv ms, undv un sun pvm um c s pnd p c. Auncm z supc mn.

Omn v s p c c nu sun. Omn s ngjsc dx (nu vu s spun c bu s umbm jg). Omnv pn. cum unc cnd sun dzmg d pn, sg n gu m c sun dzmg d c. Nu s u,

d, n gdn ppDn pc nu n ducm mn d c c n-m ppus

unc cnd n ncnm. n cs n- s nn m u!D s p dn pcsu vu...

P mn bu s- nsz nu. Omn bus ncc mc s p c c sun cu dv. Omn, bu s unc. S dv. cu c nu n ducm

mn c c n-m ppus ncn, bu s cmu n cs pvn. S nccm s n ducm mnmn ns. Su s nccm s dducm s.

Pn pu c pun p pmu pn xu nu nu, cum bu d p, mn s pcsc. m p sun. D c? Pnu c ssc m s pd c.D ssc suuu s ndung, cc bucu

, xsn n. Cc c c c ducnuzsm, bucu, c s dc d Sn u sup.I c c c nsp sup, s, npc nu s dcd Sn u sup unc nu mg n dc bun. dc, c c duc bucu pmnn bu cu, nuc c duc bucu m! I bucu pmnn vnnum num dc ucz pnu nu u nu pnux. Pnu suu u nu pnu pn. Pnu spuu nu pnu hn cu c mbc. Cc n n upu u


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v puz v mn num u, sp cu c c nv ncs v.L n c v s cs s chnu ?

Azi, vineri 28.01.2011, ora 19:00. Dumnzu... cn sDumnzu? Su c s Dumnzu...

Dc ncc s dn pz sn. Dumnzu nu p dn. E xs, um d nd, d nu p dn. D c?

Pnu ncpu v s m c nu xs m mu dumnz.Exs Unu sngu c ( c c s vd c cnu s vd). C numm Ah, su Dumnzu, Ac s.Gnd-v un pc. Nu p d su m mu c unuunvs. Su m mu unvsu! Nu p xs m mu unc.Ah, Dumnzu bu s s cnpsc n-unu Sngu, cc nu psb cdn. Es vb, n sn d un sngu

Dumnzu, d num d n gun d. Cum spuncnv, n- c dsp gu ng, sngu sngu nunvsu s s Dumnzu. n pnz spus, Hwkng,c nu ccp, dn c m vzu u, xsn u Dumnzu, p c nsz mmnu z n Unvsuu,spun c Unvsu s- c sngu. Eu spun c, sngu cndsn qu nn d n Unvsuu, c, s c cs

Unvs c s- uc s CONIEN! s nsmnDumnzu.Rvnnd dn u Dumnzu... Nu p dn. Dn

smpu p c nu xs cuvn c s-L dnsc. Am ncc d cv n s ng. d c d cnd spunu, L-m ns, m s m vz cv n pus. D p,v sun n unc d nvu u d cnn. Cc dccnn nu - pm num ng, unc nc nu vv v.


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JURNAL INIIAIC48

Dumnzu, n m Lu, n s vz p msu c pum ng! Cc dc s- dn- d xs dupsb. O m nnbun, nu m ng .

Ad, Dumnzu nu s ub, cc nsmn c unngns. U. D ucu nu su , nuc Dumnzus sngu. As nsmn c nu p xs cv d cmm cu E, ndn dc s gns su ngns.Dumnzu nu s bun, cc xs un ngns bun.

Exs u. dup nmnu d m sus, nu p xscv d c cu E. Dumnzu nu p bucu, cc xss. Dumnzu s Iub Ncndn. s s snguuucu p c u dsp Dumnzu. n s, c s Apunc,Omnscn, Omnpn, Omnpzn, c s ub, pc,bucu, dgs, cs sun cuvn p sc pnu -Lpu dsc. Dumnzu s cnn, s Cnn. Es

vu, d nu cz n-un sngu c. Es pundn. Es.Dumnzu nu s dn, Dumnzu s . Dumnzu nus vd, Dumnzu s pcp. Dumnzu s xpmnz.Dumnzu s sm!

D c spun c dc nccm s-L dnm, mm. ODumnzu s nm. mcm. I Dumnzu s nn, m, nm...

Azi, 30.01.2011, ora 09:50. M um s vz, dp m bn spus m ncc s m u s vz... numm cu ng nuncuu. Rm supns c s u um.

A v s spun c cv dsp c c m vzu. n ns, ch dc pcpm su nu, xs m mu Cu. Exszc Cu un nc. S u m xpc...

n pmu C, xs ng. Sun mn c u vu cndPmnu n sdu d un.


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n d C xs Ahngh. Sun ng vu cusup .n C xs Ah. Sun Ahngh vu

cu sup. cu Spn, Dmn, Pu, cu Sm cu Huvm

su nu.n pnz spus, pnu vu mn xs zc

cu, su p d vu. mu vuz d cu d

cu , cu pu , pn cu nu. L zc c ng. p ncp vu n cu nu m bg s ncnz. A s p xpc d c mnu nvu d cnn d, cnn c nu gucu ngn, p! Ingn s xps v cu, cnn s xps uu v d pn cum. Esxps vu spuu n v u, n ncn

u ncn u. ncn u... D c ngnnu nc gu cu cnn.

Nvu d cnn cspund cuu n c . Cu cnvu cnn s m n, cu cu n c sm sus. pn um vu s pp d s. M g,vu d p Pmn. Ajungnd sdu d ng, ncp un cp vu .

Vm s vbsc d cu d nc. Dup cum vd xsmu n vu, p mu p. L nc s smpu. Exs sdu d ng. A num n nuncuu sun sdu d ng. A c pu sun m. Adc pu sun m m dc mn, cc sun m vu dcmn, xcp cnd ng c s-u ncn p Pmn v , pnu ju vu mn. D ps ng xsAhngh, Ah, Spn, Huvm, Sm, mu cu pu cu mu ps cs ng nuncuu. D c


50/166

JURNAL INIIAIC50

m nb d c d m mnunz n c mp, d c L- sp dvu p Isus n pus. Cc dsn dn pu ng s d m, nc nc nu m m c Isus zs n. D p cs n nu v s d zbnddnn d ncp. A s bsu nu.

n cncuz spus c u - p vu, d ub -cnnu. L ns.

Azi, 06.02.2011, ora 23:59. Cu pv c du pbm mn, cnsd c, d s- u udn d ndp, mv um mu m bun. D p um n c spm s mcu .

Exs du pbm mn dup cum spun Avnhv.Psn su g-u sxu. Acs du pbm,dc sun spn d ndvd p ng b. Su mc

ncp s s duc sp spuz. Cum?Pm, g-u su psn, s c c c s

mndu. A mndu s un ucu dun pnu spu u.Spu muu, c bz Lumn, s un sp sm.Eg-u mpdc vu spu. Eg-u mpdc dvv. Eg-u mz. Am m spus- p: Dumnzu cu unvsu nu s mndu, u d c ? Pnu c

cnsu cs? Su pnu c mn m gzv? s sun num nv d v. I ncc s vzu v d pn cum! I ncc s vz c s u u nxsn s unvs! I ncc s vz cu u n Unvs.Su c c pzn u n cs Unvs. p vz dc m vun mv c s mndu...

Pn Bb ncc, pn mbju , s n c s n punmnb cu pv g-u nsu. ncc s n c s numm, s n smm. Acum, un spun, v u s m umsc?


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Eu spun c dn cuz guu, dn cuz g-uu spun s! cu c g-u m m cu s p ps m m!Sun d mu gumn...A du pbm mn s sxu. P p vun

dgmc ( nu s nc p dp ), d sxu scmn. A sc c s bun n mn. Gnz dn Bb sd p dsp sx. Gu d czu, n-dv! D p cunbnu uu, muc muu, s dsp sx. Pmu cs n mjcu gdn s ssmu nvs cn, mus chk sxu. Aunc cnd u xpmn cv,mn nu u cpb (c cum) d mng ngsxu c s dgj dn cs c. Adm Ev s un,spcv sm. Aunc cnd Ev s mns, unsucmb nvs, unc cnd Adm s mns, sm cn pnu scund.

c s bz p sx nu duz mu mp, dsp pd,cc nu bz sb.

Dc mn ncc mc s nun cs dupbm mj v , m mu, dc u, vns s- nsm n-un chp gu d mgn. Cd cum c v vn dup 2012 (d n- pd cnsdb), v ps d cs du cmpnn umn. Nu n , d

n-un pcn zdb.

Azi, 19.02.2011, ora 13:35. Rvnnd cnn, m xc vu , m ncc dn.

n Dcnu Expcv Lmb Rmn dn cnns d snmn d nu p c dsp pp xsn dsp ucu dn juu u.

O dn cc cnn nu p d. Nu cd c u.C c u s c, cnn nsmn v. mn u


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JURNAL INIIAIC52

cnn, d nvu d. Cc sun mu nvu. Fmu. Anm u cn cspunz nvuu dxsn. Pn u cn. Mn u cnn. M g,d nv d nm n js, nu s m p vb dsp cn.O cnn pu c m. Sun cnn ccv, spcvncpuu d cnn.

Dc n gndm ncpuu mn pn cum, vdmc n cnn ccv umn. Cum? n vchm,

mn u ghd dup Vchu smn, ch pnu ch,dn pnu dn. Rzb u cv bnu n psjucmun. u, xsu sp n c s-u ncn n cpd c sc u ms pn n z ns.Ap, vn Isus. A schmb s d cnn ccv ndvdu, bn ns. M g, E dmn c.Omn ncpu s s ghdz dup Nu smn, c

ppvdu ub, dc cnv d pm, nc- c bz. A vn mmnu n c bu s gnd c v cum n, dm pnu c v(dn pc nu s- mnnu cs cdn n cnsm). Dncs punc ncpu c nvuu d cnn, ncpum md, d n cv m d n s p bsv u. D pn du m d n. cnd m dp, pn n 1500- 1800,

xsu zb c m d mpun unu m ( nu unnun, p m) sup nun. V- nb vdd c Dvn pm xsn zb? Am s v spund.

n n 1900 mn nu u m p zb n ms, cuxcp c du (dc pmu zb mnd nu c bu, nu m s d). Nvu muu cscu, ncpu s pun pbm, nu num ndsu pp.Gnd-v cum u mn n sc dn n 1500 cum


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sc mn n n 1900. D Cpnc, G, Ens-n, mn u ncpu s pcup d pn, d gx, dUnvs. Au ncpu s gndsc sc m. D nvu uncnn pn, nvu un cnn unvs. Am n-cpu s n gndm pn c n ncnj, gx c nncnj, Unvsu c n ncnj. Au s pm uncnn n. Dn c n c m n. Num c, s- ns g- cs bd, c c dmn mz n p-

p p m v. Ocum, c nvuu cnn pms xsn m mu mn cu cnn n. Au puu gzdu. Cumv cnn ccv pm xsn nvuucnn xsn p pn spcv, d n c mpmd uu cnn dmn cnn ccv. Cmdubs spus, nu? As, p spu ms p umu c.Ocum nu n p. D c? Pnu c mu smu, c

cnc, mu m dzv dc c spu, cu c p p-cp mu. C smu, nu, d xmpu cu c sp pcp p spu, nu s cspunz dzv mj mn. Aunc, c spun dsp spu csun ps. E nu zz d p c, s c m mpnp xsn ns p Pmn. As pnu c nvu dcnn nu pm cs pcp, nc vn .

A, nvu d cn ccv cscu p nsmbu, cc nsmn c mn c sun ncn n cs mmnp Pmn u cnn m dc. Un m m, mmc, (pun) n, dup psb, cn Fnc.

D m vm d cscu. Cd c n- m d n vm jungc und bu. Pn unc, Lumn v dsc.

Azi, 25.02.2011, ora 12:49. Un c d p nn m- sn n md dsb. L-m puc v- dzvu vu.


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JURNAL INIIAIC54

Omn p s s vndc n-dv n bsc unc cndng sn m su sncu. Omn d n dn P-sbug u dvd- u dscp mcnsmu m csu nmn dvn. O ugcun s un mdu pu-nc, spun V Szn, su Lbuu d Nupshz-g Insuuu d Cc s Dzv Pshnug-c Bkhv dn Psbug. Rugcun nu num c gz pcs dn gnsmu umn, p sucu gv

c cnn. Psu Szn msu pu u-gcun. E ngs cncgm un cugn mp c s ugu cp un nmn nbnu - sn-g cmp cxuu cb. Acs s p b-sv num bbu d un, unc cnd s ngmm , n sgun bsu. P msu c psn c-, cs snz d sgun dsp, cv cuu

c cs m bcun cb dvn , numn mpu smnuu pund su ugcun. V Szn num cs s ncunscu z u, n ugcun dvd c mpn v pnu c psn.Es un p cunscu c b sun cuz m s d su n-gv nu c n mn np n mn. n mpu ug-cun ns, gj s mu p un pn scund su ch dsp cu

u. As, dvn psb vndc pshc m c c zc. D p, c s nmp? O zn bnv s zn (sugn) c un nv d vb d dc gnsmuu, unnv d vb sczu. Pn ugcun su c, s dc vbzn spcv, su gnuu bnv, nc vn ncd cu vb nguu gnsm. Sujb bsc ju m sn. Ingn s czcn AngnMkvsk, d Lbu d hng Mdc s B-gc cndus ps m d sud pnu ccsc


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sn un n nn dup sujb. A zu c suj-b n bsc nmzz nsun s v nz sngu.S p c ugcun p s nuzz ch d. S cdup xpz d Cnb, nsumn d msu pnu d- u v c dpu cpc d msu nsu-mnuu. In pp Bsc Ahnghuu Mh, ns, - pu km d c, v d nm.Omn d n dn Psbug u cnm, cu juu x-

pmn cu, c p sn, smnu cuc buucp p s b, d smn, pp vndc. Dc, n Rus, cp b ndun n cusu pdm.Usun ms d cp c b m vusu d g-p, hp s. Pn vusu s ncv nu mp nc, spus A. Mkvsk. Smnu cuc un c m smncv: m mcb pgn nu num n p d

bn, c n u cu. Ms Em, n c s, Fmub, cum pu ugcun p mpz un c pu.Lbu nc Insuuu d Mdcn Indus N-v nz p nn dup sn. A zu c dc s c- ugcun Nsu s c smnu cuc sup p,unc cncn bc dun v d su d m mc. Rd cmgnc d zu mu n.

As, cmnd dx d bncuvn c mnc subuu nu u num v spu, c un pvnv. Apsn nu s num puc, c schmb sucu (M-s Em) p s vndc. Acs s p dvd cu pspc. Spcgu ndc dns pc m m p sn-, c cum cs ns snsu ugcun - ps.Acs s cuz cs pu unc d vndc. Sngu -m s c vndc num p c c cd. Ap "dsng" nv-u d cdn mn, spun A. Mnkvsk. Aunc


56/166

JURNAL INIIAIC56

cnd un p sn p, dns pc s d 2,5 m m, unc cnd sn s cu d psncdncs c, num d 1,5 m m, d cu un mbz ncdncs, schmb u s nsmncv.D p, dup cum s v vd, u s cpb s ms unc, dvdnd cu mjc nc cu c c Sn P-n u d 2000 d n, d "mcnsmu" nd dvn, nu p xpc n mn mn.

Azi, 26.02.2011, ora 11:51. Dsp ugcun u n xs-n muu, s spun c n m xs un m ugcun. Acum xs c m c ngsz gndu n mpuv, c m cpuu zc s dspnd d pcundv n unvs. Acs m s spun c s vu nm.

Oc m cpc d s ug. In c su n-m

, cn s p ug. Rugcun s c sp Cuunvsuu mn, uu n v. E dmnschmb nuu unu m nu xuu. Dpd, dc s zb, ugcun nu p p zbu, dp dmn schmb n c ju c mu zbuu, gs d sus pmsmuu, cpmsmuu cu c s g. D c s nmp n mpu

ugcun? S dscc ng, pcu d pu bsu,pcu d Lumn, ng n c n ju s cm mu ps nczu c s psupun c- vm. Acs ngc s dscc nu n ju num p n, c p ju umncnju, n msu n c p pcp cs ucu. Dc,ugndu-n n jum p n nn, d p c dn juu nsu.Pum ju mbun (n- num msu, bn ns)v . Eng c s dscc dmn c vn, gs pc suuu, n n.


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D cum bu s n ugm? Isus spun: cnd g, nn cm , nchd u g- u c s c, nsc. D p dsp c cm sc s vb? Dgb g u dc nchz n- cm, gndu zb m und! Cm sc nu s cm zc. Cm scs s n d cnn. Fc m un num nv dcnn n. Fc bu s s g n cnn un s s nchd c. Ac v nn p Dumnzu. A

cum p pcp c dup cum pm cnn. nc s d cnn mu mn sngu, dzbc d g-u psn u mn pcc num ndvdu.Rmn num c pzn c m, c sp pu, mnnum c c s ncs u n u Dumnzu. Cc pDumnzu nu p pc. Num unc p ug, p cu Dumnzu s ju.

Pz n c bu s g s mn n ugcun.C c sc spun Gss. C nsmn cs mpun mn? D p nu s spcu zc, c unsnmnuu cu gndu. L ugcun bu s pcp gnd nm. L un nm cu ncu. Es pncpumscun mpun cu pncpu mnn. Es s d pcpcu s d pm, s un un cu sm. Cc dc

num nm pcp, gndu zb u, ugcun nup scu, ugcun nu p uz. A nm c ncu bu n s p pcp cn ugcun.A s n vn. Eng n nu v vn. Su, dc v vn,nu v pu pcp.

Azi, 27.02.2011, ora 10:30. n nu 2009, d ccmcn u gs dmns cu Unvsuu. Ausud dsn d cv md d n umn c u cupns


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JURNAL INIIAIC58

pxmv du su d m d gx. Au cmbn spcuumn ms d cs gx dn spu ppus pnu sudu. u bnu cu dmnn d bj. D, Unvsu nsus dschs cu. Es nun d bj c s bzp csmc. Cm un p cu cc, d m mu p, mpun cc.

Dc Unvsu cu pp d b. N vdmn-dv ngu cnd n um n sus, d dc m n spu,

m c d ms, umn unvsuu n- pp m vzb. D c, n n 70, cnd snu mcn u n spu, u spus c Unvsu s cm cu duzc sum umns dc s vd. u s supn d csucu. Cc s spu s nunc.

Rvnnd mcn n...C d u c s cu dmnn Unvsuu n

um sud spcuu csmc d cu, cu p c -umsc s nc s vzb n spcu umn pcpud chu umn. D c snu s- pu c Unvsus d cu 20 su m umns, cc nu umn s nspcu vzb.

Du su d m d gx nu cd c sun pznv pnuUnvs, cc sun ccu cv md d gx n cs

Unvs, p c mn d sn cnsd dmnsn(cvddmnsn). umn s pcpu num p dsn cv md d n umn. S nu u g ns, cu sgunmd d n umn su d m d gx s mup msmu pn. Rp un m. Rp n. nchpu-v c un n umn s dsn pcus dumn n-un n. , gndndu-n vz umn d 300.000d km p scund, un n umn nsmn pxmv9,5 m d md d km. Ocum nu n s gu s


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n gndm smn dsn, vnd n vd c ungmcuuu s d pxmv 40.000 d km, dsnd Pmn S s d pxmv 149 d mn dkm! Dc m m spun d umn spu! D cLumn...

Rvnnd cc n...Dsn d md d n umn su d m d gx

s vdn m cumv pznv (pn psm

c c m pzn m sus). D vnd n vd c Unvsus nn, c sun mu m mu dmnsun dc (d nus nc dmns d n d sz), vm d- c cu cvcu mu m m dc n pum mgn. d c cd c nvu nguu Unvs, umn s mu m mu. c svb num d umn zc!

M bucu c s- dmns cv c spu u d mu:

c sunm ncnju d Lumn!

Azi, 05.03.2011, ora 16:13. Am scs z cu un cdsp p pn cdn pnu vs. D p nu -m scsu, m cnspc dn- c d mdcn und cu cp nv m m dug u p c p c c cv...A v s nscu n cs c, cc m s p scnn.

Sp dsb d n mdc c cnsd b c p v unm, c p cu mjc hnc,cnd s bnvuu mps c vndc dpnd xcusvd cun mdcuu c bnvu nu bu dc s ppsv vndc b, cncp gs pspcvmu m g m pund pvnd cuz smncb, pcum mjc psb d pvn mn.

D c du cncp nu sun dc ncmpb, vuz d bc ndpndn nu s nnsc dc


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JURNAL INIIAIC60

n- cncp cmun c cspund mu mbn cmpx sub nmn cu c sunmcnun.

D dup cum J.S. Lvn H.Y. Vndp, s- cnsc pcn c duc v gs u snn m bun, ncdn m mc b cdvscu nsun m mc, d dup cum Y.Kumn, cv gsduc scu d p b Azhm, dup cum Byd,

ugcun u dus m vu un bnv cdcnn p nnsv, d dup cum H.Bnsn, s-dmns pn mjc nc nun ugcun supgnsmuu umn, d dup cum Lm, cdn nDumnzu nun d m sup s d sn,nc bsn pu cnsd c d sc pnup un b, u c du cncp cnnu s vuz

ndpndn, sn mdc gnnd u p c g -pu v n pcsu d vndc bnv.

R. Bcn spun c dc pun n dpz dDumnzu, mu n pp d Dumnzu. I Vmvcspun c cu c mu s m pp d Dumnzu, cu vd p Dumnzu m m p sn m mc. Cu c mu sm dp d Dumnzu, cu mu s vd p sn m m

p Dumnzu m mc.A cum spunu dc, cum c nn s vndc upubu s vndc suu, spun Sn Pn c, p ngb upuu m xs b suuu, pnu c mu nu num up, c su. J.C. Lch vb d dvpg spu. I S. In Gu d Au spun c m musu suu d pc dc upu d b.

D c s suu? M mj mn d ncnsd suu p mn, mn p mgn


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cuu. Sn Pn ns c suu s p m n. E pzn v c sucuz mnm dn c s m cpu m. Dup cum S. In Dmschn, suu s subsn v, nmu,nvzb ch n, n, spu, b, vn,cv schmb. Dc p ng sucu m, mum sucu m. D suu s p mbnv, b suuu nunz s d sn cpuu zc.

B suuu sun mp n pm mn, cum ps d cdn, mn, mcun, u, u d smn,pzm, cmn, judc, s msu, c, ,c, gz, sv d, mnd, pcz, mncun, c-m, ub d vu pmn, ndv, ngm, vcn,nun, nsm, ngu, pc, n, s-, , p pm upuu cum cm pn-

cu, mbub, b, dsu, pc smu, p pmnun cum h, h, ucd, ghcu, vj, ds-c .

pm sun mpn, d dup cum S. M-xm Musu, bz uu pc s ub g-s d sn.

cs pm nunz s d sn upuu.

Dup cum spun S. Sm d Sv, d mu s nmpc b upsc s gn d pm, pnu c b su-uu duc nvb ubu upuu. Dc pmsu (mn, dsndjd c.) cn pn mcnsmpshsmc, pm up (cm pncu, n, ds-u) p cn dc pn nmdu un mcnsm m-bc, ndcn su mun.

Dup cum Hhs Vchs, scpu undmn cdn s d - cuz p m sp Dumnzu. D pnu


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JURNAL INIIAIC62

pu c cs ucu, mu bu m n vndc d bsu d c su. D c, spun c, cdn sm psus d n puc. Pcsu d vndc suuu psupun cmb pm cnv n vu. E bu s ncp cu nnsc cdn nDumnzu, cu nnsc ub d mn, cu cuvndjd d vndc, cu bd, cu nn pc, cucun pc, cu pcn, cu pcc ugcun,

cu spc psuu, cu p d msn, cu md, cucnmp, cu umn cu dsv.

n umu mp dvn dn c n c m c mdu n cc nupshc dc c spu, p nun- uncn d p gn. S cun upsn ssuu pshc n p un b, cum hpnsun , cdp schmc, smu

bnc, ucu gsc dudn, cn b, cc- uchmgc, dbu zh d p II, cnc. S-cns c c pshc nunz d mu ssmundcn, nc s p vb d dv pshnun-dcng. I c nundcn nunz dmu ssmu mun, nc R. Ad ndus mnu dpshnumung.

Acv nupshc nunz dc c ndc,pn nmdu hmn nuhmn, sc subnun nm pm, bsu p ssm.S.Pncf, A.Mug, R. Fh, u c mc dspunnu num d cp pnu ngn ckn, c cppnu ccmn, pnu hsmn, dpmn pnundn, c c c c c nupshc s p nunssmu mun. Ac ucu s p spun dsp suumcdc su suu dgsv, d dsp gn c c


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64/166

JURNAL INIIAIC64

S ps d pdus nm. nzc mncd pdus d gn nm. As x. I n, nzc gndu ngv, ucs ds su , njuu smn. D c s ps? Pnuc n mpu psuu s nmp du ucu: unu, d nux, d puc upuu, cc cn pdus dncn, nmvbnd d smu, (c p ng m d cnu num chmc, pp nd d 3-5% pnu cn mc

95-97% pnu cu u cv, dc cn) sun cc cnn c m mu xn. , nmuznd pdusc cnn zdu xc, cpu mn p c p c , un mmn d dvn m pu. S dxz.

A d, d nu spu, d um upuu d n spuu (cn s sm dj usc c cs ndu,nsmn c pbm cu mnd, cu gu, cu g-u).

Dc pvz cpu zc d mnc, d buu, d uun dgndu ncu unc p ng dx v v un c,d smn bnc, d spuz.

Bsc spun c bu s ps, s nnz d cncuvncs. D d c, nu spun. V spun u. Pnu c sp c spu. Pnu c s, duc mn d c vnp Pmn. Pnu c s duc mn cn . ducndu-

mn cn , c ncnz. I bsc nu ccp, dnpc, cs ucu. Dc ccp, u, u, v ns cuu . n- m bn. Ocum mpu s sun pp...

Ps s c nv spu c nv zc. Nu nc un m mpn, mndu sun d mpn. Smbn. Nc nu p dm n. Bsc spun c nu bus uz cnd ps, s nu spu. u bu s s nmp nu-m cu n n n. Eu spun c p spun c ps. Cu cndc psu p c ncp s unu snc. Aunc cnd ncp un


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ps d c d bn, unc nu c dc s pc pn. P pc p , d c s? Pnu gnu s dmn spun bsc s nu . Eu spun c, cum s b s un ps d s dm unu su u. Nu sn ucu. Nu nc gc. Nu s nm. Nu ppc p Dumnzu! Nu p pc p n nsu!

Lum nu ng cum u d-b p s ncp psu. Pd c s chnu?

C chnu, mn bun? dc chnu un pc, p snzc. O un m, p pn s nu bu s s chnu d-c? Dc n gndm c n ducm sc nvm s scm,s chnu, nu? Dc nu n-m chnu, c s- nmp? Ammn nb. M dp, mn cum mn c, nunc d sdn , su d chnu , m su n-s. Nu s chnu? p m cu un m bg, d

v spun c c n u m chnu susc. um, un mmn d, ndn d c bn v v, s vchnu. Cnd v mu, v chnu. dup c m mu.Cc nu - chnu dsu pnu - nj c v.Su um.

Pn ps c vn. Es un xcu bun d c vn. I d cu c vn dv m punc. O nu

s bn s m punc? Nu bu s c un sccu unccnd v s b c? Cum s pm, su cum s dbnd, dc nu ncc? Snd n p su n bu? Nu. Dcv s cg cus, bu s nsc s pcp. bus g, dc v s cg csu. Cc nu v vn nmn s d dpm d cg, dc u nu pcp.

Cm pnu cum. Rsu, p m zu. z, vu s scu dsp Isus. Dup cum m m spus,

nu m nsz n md spcc dc s sc cu un sngu I


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JURNAL INIIAIC66

su cu d I, c mpn s c E s p Pmn. Am s mcnmz m s scu cu d I.Exs mn c nu cd n xsn u Isus, cum

dsc Bb. Ch m vzu cum cv mp, p NnGgphc, un pj dsp Isus, n c spunu c u gsun scg su, m g, un d cu dn p d pn un mu ungm, cu n s n , p c scg scIsus. As u psupus c vb dsp Ac Isus. D,

msun p c cn d vzun, cv mpdsn, un n su d, spun c Isus un num cmun nc pd. c d p cndus m, su cv cs b cu sd mn. O b. D c?

Pnu c Evngh dn Nu smn ( nu num) sunscs cv mp dsn d mn d. spun cucu dsp Isus. Exs u d mb c cd c Isus

nc mc nu xs. V s s g . Vvd c c u s cnd v vd nu v dc muum,d nc nu v m pu schmb cv pnu pd ungd mp.

D, nb c m- mn mu mp, c spuns-m gs, su m s- pms s- u s: Isus cnvnsd nu S dvn?

P, pnu ncpu bu s m cn Isus. C n zc,pnu s cnm g unvsuu, g p c nsuDumnzu c, cmunc, bu s vn p Pmn c c mu. Nu p, su nu v s mdc g pc nsu Dumnzu - d. S cnmz.

Pnu vsun bbc (cum c u n dn- Fc-, nvn bbuu), n-dv s p mzc. Ch un spmzd. Cc pnu n unu ms nv d un vu d un spmzd. D, dn c m


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ns, c s mz dn nu p du mu. M mud cv mnu, . c s cv d np. Pn s mz dn . mu, ncpuu u s m-z d sucu sup.

A c... nu p cu sgun cum s- nscu Isus. Dm gndsc m mu g u Dumnzu. A c mn pm p. D nu cs ucu s mpn. Impn sc spc. C n spu. Cn s Isus c n sp-

u?Es Fu d Dumnzu. As nsmn c s cnp cu Dum-

nzu. Ch s Dumnzu. A s xpc vndc pc - cu c p ncn. D nb s cnn d nu s dvn? Rvnnd g dn Unvs, csub nc m nu p ncc, Isus unc cnd s- ncn,vdn c nu - m dus mn m nmc. C s cp, nu

nmc d nu s dvn. Nu s pms d Dvn s c v , dc d un num nv spu ccs .Ocum, cd c - ppus nn d ncn c zc d ns mnsc Cn s. Dup c ns vs c ncpus ppvdusc, dup c sud p pn Ind, dup cumspun , cc Bb nu spun nmc d pd dn 12 30 d n, u Cn s. s, ducndu- mn d nu

u dvn n, puu s c c cu. ch s-u u p Pmn. Su Lu d m, d up zc.Ad, Isus u c s un sp n, Fu d Dumnzu.

As s c cnz. m cnz cv: c c n- nv,scpu pnu c s- ncn.

Azi, 19.03.2011, ora 15:04. M- d s v vbsc dspuz. C m mu dn n ( mj cv, dnpc) sc uz p Pmn. Am spus- p: nu


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JURNAL INIIAIC68

sunm c c vdm n gnd. Dc pum ccp cs ucu,c ncp s s schmb. Dc nc nssm c sunm npu zc, vm n c nunc. c m m c sc d m. P ccp c mbn, d nu p ccpc m. M m s p cm dubs cs ucu, d s. cd-m c m nnsc ds cu cs su pn pzmsvcuu mu. D p, xs m mu cg d mn.Pm s c m dn mn c nu cd nu p ccp

d xsn dc c zc. Nu v nu p s ccp cxs cv dc zcu, dc c c vd. O cgs c c d dsp sp, su, d c mn sdu d d. xs c d m zc. M xs cg d mn c dsp sp su c u dj sun dsch mn, ccp nv dsp v d dupm. Ac sun c c sc n Lumn, su c nv

s sc n Lumn. D p cd c s vb d cnncu n cuz. Aunc cnd cnn s un nv dc, pccp s p dbs d c d m cpuu zc,dc nu, mn cu pcp uz. Ac dn um p ncc(d nc nu u cum) s dc nvu d cnn cc nums p d sm d pp ndvdu, d pp sn, d pp dn. D-b unc, cunscndu- cu

dv p scp d c c ncnj d c d m.P spun c d-b unc ncp dv v.N sunm n sn n spu. Ch n nm -

n ns s sus d nn bun, pc, dgs npcun. N sunm n umn. Dc n-m sbn-dv n dv ns dn, unc c, sngu-, nsgun scd spcuu d sn v dspnu, , n c n c nuncu np c cumn d s, spun S Vsudv.


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Dn cs punc d vd c mn sc uz. Hbnu u cn sun. Hb nu u d c sun c. m u p dsuppn c u u.

O uz p c um s c umncnju. Lum dn juu nsu s mu m m dc- nchpu mj. Mj cd c xs num cc s vd. Eu v spun c c c nu s vd s um cu mu mvs dc c vzb. Exs muudn d n bnc

mc c sun pn juu nsu. O s ncp cu n mc, nc s mn cu c bnc.

En mc sun c sp ngv, d ngdczu su dv, cum spun bsc, sp ngv mn c u p Pmn u s nuncu, n vubuu bu c ng dczu, n bc sun gmn su n cu cnn pp m m

su m mc cu vu du d v m. n uncd cn dmn b m u su m sv. Vddc c sun mu n d cs .

En bnc sun pzn d ng, Ahngh,Ah, Pu, Dmn, Spn, Sm, Huvm nu. Azc c s c u Dumnzu. Evdn sun ng, dsucu n-un num , n unc d gdu d vu

d msun psn p c - ncdn- Dumnzu. C csun spnsb cu cmunc cu mn sun ng. Fcum s ncdn un ng, numu ng pz. Acsng ju mu n z msun u psn ( ndpnscpuu pnu c vn p Pmn). D p, m cc spus,ju spu ncn z msun u psn. L csucu m pcp Ghz spu. Ac sun sp bc u h s ju u d ng z msunpsn spuu ncn. D, Ghz, s p zgnd. E p


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JURNAL INIIAIC70

s pcp cun muu, su p uz cs ucu. Dcmu pcp z msun u psn, unc ng Ghz ju. Dc mu s- ndp d msun u psnunc Ghz s g, ng s ndpz. Cum c cucu n spu msun psn? Ac ucu sun unpc m cmpc. D c m smpu d cunscu s pn puc ucu p c c duc ssc susc. sm bnsu. , c unc cnd c p bun.

ng sun c c cmunc cu mn. Sun c snsg d mn. sun mu. Snu Dns Apguspun c sun c d ng. sun n Lumn. UmzAhngh, c cd c sun cnn cmun, ccv un gup m d ng, nc nu u. Ap Ah, suncp. Acs s m d js ngm c nju p n mn s vum. E pmsc nm d

Dumnzu pn nmdu c d- du m dc Pu,Dmn Spn. Ac sun vdn ng m vu dcc dn pm m. Ac, n spu s m mu Lumn,m mu mn, m mu Iub. pmsc nmd Dumnzu pn nmdu c d- m, Sm, Huvm nu. Acs nv s mLumns dc pcdnu, cu m mu mn, cu m mu

Iub Ncndn, cu m mu Pc. E pmsc nmd Dumnzu dc pn cmunc cu nvu sup. nscd c n cs m nm nu s uz n mddc dc d nu, dc d ng dn nvu nu, d s spnd n js c c ng Lumn. Cm d sus nv s zc, c u Dumnzu. Es nvusupm c s v unu sp ncn. Ac s SusLumn, Iub Ncndn, Amn, Bucu d .Dumnzu m un num nv d mp (d p mpu c


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nu xs) m-gnd, d, Lg c v c s uncnzUnvsu n cnd bun. Acs Lg, punc, d, cum vs num, s uz n md dc d c ng dn nu d c nu m m dp nm n js pn ng c n- nsm nu, mn. Omn g dc s-ud su nu. s cnz n cnscn.

cs s dug sp mn, spnu c gmn d su c u v m c

dmn dvs pbm. n gn cs gmn sunmc. I sp nu sun bnc. (cc d xs) c n ncnj.

Lum d, n cump gnn uz xsn. m d p cv, c c n nv sc cu scpu nsu s u dc n s pm vd. Dcmd.Lum ncnju s cu mu m m dc nchpu

m mj mn. dc vd. Acs um spcp, nu s vd! Aunc cnd v v mn msun pcs pmn, v vd dv um n c xs n. Cc nu p vd cu ch m cv c nu s m.I cnd v c n c um,c n pnz spus sdv vs v, cc s nncn pd n n, mm dc s ncn, d-b unc v pu pcp um

ncnju, cc unc nu v m m, v ng. nd cu c, v pu ssz cs.C c v dsc u s s v z s vd dv

um n c s n vdm cund n Cu zc, ngDumnzu. A s !

Azi, 03.04.2011, ora 20:50. Rspunsu nb c mmn d m mu mp, -m gs cnv m umndc mn.


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JURNAL INIIAIC72

M ns cum s p c s dc nvu d cnn unu m, cc m- pc s p dmn c vuspu mn, su s nunz (s cu dmnusun gu, nu?). Pnu c vund spu ncp s vzdv v. pnu c m. Am nb n dp nsng, d nu m spunsu. M s u spunsu, d num s pvu. Nu nsmn c c spunsu nu u bun, cpu smpu nu -m puu sm mmnu spcv. nc

mmnu cs. P vd... cn ...Am s un smn und nv mcbu ps

unvs Cnsnn Ducn, uu cb Ingn m-, -m nb c ucu. M- d un spuns c num pm d p c -m pc mu. m-m pus u cs pbm d mu m- spuns nu -m spunsu. Rspuns snc, m ucu s cun c nu n

unu num m d mn. bu s c sup.L un mmn d m juns n d Ink, c

c m- n m- spunsu: nu p c nvucnn ndvdu. Snguu ucu p c p c s sju c gguu. Cscnd ggu, su cnnccv, p ju p s csc. Fc dun dmn cu num ccsc un gg. O m un

gg, un gg. c mn sun cunscups . A, s mn! Nu- ?Ad, pn pcup ns spu dmnm u,

u, un nv dc gguu ns c v dmn, un mmn d, c nvuu spu mndn Rmn. Dn pc, nv ndvdu nu s p ccnn dn x (dc p spun ). Adc, nu p jup cnv num s csc spu. Cc cnn dc sjs, nu p cncp c cs ucu c nd dmn d u


73/166


n sm. unc nu cum s cnvng cnn js scsc c c m c su s pcp n.D pn pcup spu pum ju p c c

sun m n dc n su u s m n n v . Anc s sc dv v!

Azi, 09.04.2011, ora 10:30. Am mn d c Bgcdn d Buc Lpn. Am cu un zum

scu. D p nu s un zum ppu-zs, c m scs cvdn d c m s-u pu sn xpc s

Inun d mdu dmn mdc gn, d mdc sucu d bz. Acs mdc p nsmsgn um [Rk W 2001. Sum 2001].

Sud dsp snz pn c gn p mdc n 2000 su m mu vn pn nun d

mdu[Schmk 2000; Ry 2003]. Un sudu n pubc n vs Bg cu

mcu dn 01.08.2003 c num cnd d mdup ch s nuz mu gnc c. n cs sudu,svn u sud cu supmn mn snssup m nscn d c c vu gnnm d bz. Pu nscu dn mm c u vu

supmn mn sns u s nm, mm,c nu u pm supmn mn u vu pu c ,cu c mns gn nm. D mc c c u vu gn bz, d pu c mm nu upm supmn mn u vu mns gn, puc u pvn dn mm c u pm supmn mncu c u vu gn nm, nu u vu mns ! Pu smpu sc c cum nu vu nc gn d cs! As, gn nu s mns!


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JURNAL INIIAIC74

Sud cu sup mn cu cnc, u c cs- b (cncu) p dn mdc pgnc ndus dmdu nu dn gn cu pbm [Kng 2003, Jns 2001,Spp 2000, Byn 1997]. Gn BRCA1 2 ncmn n p- cncuu d sn, sun spnsb num d 5% dn ucnc d sn.

Nu ADN-u cnz ssm bgc nucu nsn nu s cu cu (ch dc n nvm c!).

Cu sun md n unc d mdu n c sc.Un sudu cu d sng n 1989, spun c pn cpdn mmbn cu u nn c p c cmpu dng vbn cum umn, sun, cvn d.Ann vbz c n dpzn. Dc vb ngcdn mdu znz cu nn un pn cp, csv scn cmgnc pn cnd cpu

s- schmb m. Gndu s m d ng ngsbp EEG. Dup cum m, sun cnc u d und: und D, cucvn d sub 4 Hz c m js und ccsc smnuupund su cm, und T, cu cvn d 4 pn 7Hz, und A, cu cvn n 7 14 Hz cspunzsmnuu supc und B, und nm n sd vgh. Au m s dscp und Gmm, und n

cu cvn d ps 35 Hz, c p n s d cncnmxm, n s d cpuu. p ngs pEEG. Rzu c, cmpmnu cu p cn pnmcu zc pn und nvzb pcc nu. mpun,pch d pn cp-c duc nm pmn cmpmnu cu!

Oc cu, su gm d cu (mu s gmd cu) du unc: un, d dzv, d v c d pc. n c mp, cu nu p cu


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mndu unc dschs. Adc, dc unc d dzvs uncn, unc d pc s nchs. nvs. Dcunc d pc s dschs, unc s nchd unc ddzv, d c. Ss-u dmn cv cu ps d pc, c c duc nu unc d dzv,d c. Cu c sss-u s m m, cu nhb cnc mcnsm d c s m mpn cmpmss v. D smn, pnu xpmn v

dpn, bu c sss-u dn v d z cu z s ndp.Pn cns, bucu, ub, dmn smu pcsd c, d dzv sss-u dmn scdssmuu mun. Cc ssmu mun s un cnsummm d ng. Pn um, ss-u dmn, pn scdssmuu mun mbnv ds p.

S ncc s xpc, pnu c c nu u gnc. Pmu punc

d, s pu c gn sun nun d mdu. Pncum, s c gn nu sun nun d nmc. E sun pu smpu, dc cv s ps s vn gn. A punc c cnd d mdu p ch s nuz mu gn.Puncu pu c ucu: ncun cu mdu mpn, nu m c cp sup gnsmuu vu, pu dgn. Puncu cnc c nu gn sun cu cu, cum

s- czu pn cum, c mz, d p, pu pduc.L puncu s s c pu c cu nd nn dmdu, d p d und dn mdu, sun nun d undcb c v dmn mdc n cnscn. I ppunc c c c s nmp cnd supunm cu cnd d sss, cum s n sc cu.

Vdm d c mdu ncnz pmnn cugnsm umn ( nu num). Vch ndn spunu d pc chk sun p pn c cpu umn ncnz


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JURNAL INIIAIC76

cu nu, mdu ncnju dmn c c s nmpn gnsmu u cum u dmn c c s nmp nmdu ncnju. Exs d ndpndn n n nu s nu bu u. Es dmns cum nc,d bu s cnnzm cs ucu. C c dmn u nnu, dmn nu n n. dmn u n n, pngnd . Ad, v gj d mdu n c c s puv gj d v! A s !

Azi, 13.04.2011, ora 22:40. Rvnnd 2012, v s vvbsc dsp um c v s vn. Lum um, (pnu cv um um), v c d dup 2012.

Lum um (pnu c c um um) v cd dup 2012. ncpnd cu 2013, d p, um v ncp s . A dc m sz. Cum v um?

Dup 2012, d p dup 2013, cc v dcmb 2012, vncp um cu u dc xs cum. Lum v guvn d dv npcun nu d mg, v cndus d mn cu dv cpb nu d ncmpncum s n z ns. Am msu dszc un nummnsu dn z ns. OAMENI BUNI, s vn dn cu3! P c pn vm? N mm d cv c s nmp n

Rmn? N- bu! C s ngj s cn v unsp ncn dn cu 3! H h! m vmu cu dvubu!

S vnm ns...Lum c v s vn v . V um bz p ub, p

spc cpc, p Lumn, p dgs, p c, p...u c gu s gndm s d um. O p dn c c v

c cs ( cc nu v c mu) v spun c s sun numpc bsu . D p s c c v s vn. Vm


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n Lumns, n Vsuu, n n c mn v n c. V c s mu p d sp ns, n c nu m xs ngv, c s dmn dbun. Es du.

Sp ncn p Pmn n n pzn sun sp n,sp c nu sun nv d Km s s ncnz. Sun spc v s vn s s ncnz pnu ju vu spu,vu spu mn. Pcnzz c n- su d n v

ncp um cum nc pn cp nu n c cum. Dcmd.Sp n nu s m v ncn p cs pn v mn num c d cnn sup, num c dcnn n, num c c v n snmnu u Dumnzu.

Lum v . Lum v c c bu s . C c xscum p Pmn, nu u, dn pc d c u vn cum p cspn. Au vn d p c s c pn- num xpn, s

p c spu. Sp vn n cs pc nunc n cm c s pum c spu. Cu c v s m g, cu vu s m u su m pd, m cc.

Sp n vch vn p cs pn sun vn pnuscpu d.

C dn cu n sun vn pnu s v spu, c dn cu sup sun vn pnu ju p c

vu. Cum? Avnd n vd c sp sup ngucu nv m n dc c, ncc s c sng, s sc c su s c smn pn c s dmnum s dsc s csc spu. S dmn cgguu nn. Nu pum dmn c spu unu su u, d pum dmn c gguu v um c cu c v pg s csc spu.Cd c s s sngu c pn c s dmnm vuspu unu pp. unc c pp vm v... Un pp


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JURNAL INIIAIC78

cu dn mn cc, bun, dp. D-b p! O umn c v cnduc un m su mn c v n-dv bnc. O um n c dvu v pmd dpd smn. O um n c sng d mn v mpsus dc h smn n du p. O ADEVRAOMENIRE! Cund...

Azi, 15.04.2011, ora 22:01. Dsp dsn ncn, dspu mn, v v d n c c umz. cm c mvzn un m p yuub, d p cnn susnu d m sp Rmn. Dg Agnu, Rsvn Rusu Vd .Ppscu. Au dscu mu s s d . Pn ,c c vu s c n dscu, dscpn n Agnu Rsvn, n c unu spun c Dumnzu m pun dn cnd ncnd pdc c s vd dc p dc, u spun c d p

s n unc d g . Nu d nmn, u g.Eu vu s cmbn cs du p.Cd cu c dsnu s pus n nn s

ncnz. u, n vu buu u bu, ccp n mspcv su m mdc un pc. D p m mn. Dups v p Pmn. D c ng u pn dsn? Cc u ngcv pn dsn ng cv, gndndu-s c

dnum. Cd c n v s, dc m c dsnc cpnu c c vm s dnm, mu dspu nu m xs.Ad, c ng u pn dsn? Dsnu s c c s scss s nmp. D, cc xs un d, dsnu nu s bun cu. Cum vn s? O dsn c s? Dsnu scv m mu dc Km. Km s p uu cun dn v s dn . L Km c - p. Acun -cun. Es g bn sb n Unvs. Dsnu cupndKm. L dsn s un pcu . Dsnu s cumv, dc


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m pm cmp un d cn, un, cu m musz. Un sz, dc sun n cnm cu Dvnu, sunb. Un, c cm csc V Dvn, u d bsc.Obsc p c sz sun pus dnn ch d c n d c c cnbu dsnu u. Dc, n vu Lbuuu Abu, g num c v v num v. Szcumv cmunc n c c d sd. Aunc, cumd d un bsc, dup c c, p jung p sd c

s n ccd cu V Dvn. Cm dcug v nspmnn, v ns ncn.

Dc, sup c c nu cdu c d d cd, s cmcmpz. Dumnzu, dc c c cnsusc Dsnu m du c un hp, d u c c dmn jung , pn cun p c c, c n ncn. Dc c numV Dvn, unc nu v v p d hpu! u g c s

s nmp n v. A Lb Abu, d num m. Pvdn-un num punc d vd, nc nu u dc m pspun Lb Abu. M g. Ac cd c m mu d z.Rvnnd...

Cn vbsc d dsn, bud d km. d Lb Abu.Eu cd c cs p cmbn p mpc ...

Azi, 18.04.2011, ora 00:21. Am gs cumv un c nsn dsp u umn. Vu s mnnz c u vzuzz u mn, un dn , d, dn pc nuusc s vd n cu cum s dscs m js. Cnd vu s vd cu dn u, unc cs c m v ms. Pn unc, p s s unu dn c. Supu smpu n dcm...

Inns gndu snmn, s pshc d sn dmn mm u, c cu


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JURNAL INIIAIC80

unm . Au umn s cnc su s d n unc d nun mduu mbn. n czu d b, d c c mn u s sng n juu cpuu s xnd nsu vb.

C c nmn c s mns, u umn s supu-s pcsuu vuv. E s mz n juu uu n vnun cu s sun suc n mmnu n-. E s mdc n unc d vu spu n

umn.n gn, u p suc su n, m ngus

su m g, muc su unc, pub su cm,mcu su pu.

Cu nn n u sun cu d bz, pm: u,gbn bsu dn cmbn s bn nunspc num cu scund; u+gbn = pcu

(ng); gbn+bsu = vd; bsu+u = v-ndg.Cu cmpmn sun: u-vd; gbn-v; bs-

u-pcu.Cu cd sun u, pcu gbn.Cu c sun bsu, ndg v.Cu nu: vd.D cu c udn, c pu d ng

u. Cu undmn ndc ndu psn. nd cu ps ndc gdu d spu. Cu dn u,m pp d cpu zc c, n m mj,s ng zc, c x c ngmn, mn spu. O u s m chb cuc cu sun m c m bn dn. Cu nchs,nns suc ndc nv n d ng.

S m vhcuz d c np cu u unpsn bu cu pn psm puu c cs s


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vzu pn pp u. S- pu, dc u pp s pd-mnn gbn, cu bsv bs d xmpu, cuzu vzb s vd, d c zu np g-. Advu s c subcnnu ppu pucz d c bsc d nun x p nm cc-. Au schmb cvn cu c m pp d cpuzc ch n cusu un sngu z. E s schmb d- ungun, d p ps c pdmnn v ng.

Semnifcaiaculorilorn np cu dn u s ncs- p ng

cun d un ndung nnmn d nu .Fc cu ccsc pp ns nun

d c cu nduc n vn npv. Un mpn jc m, vumu, nns pzn

cu n cmpu uc.

1. RouRu s smbu undmn v cu dsb d

dnmz. Es cu pu, cuu cv pm-. Es cu c nunz ssmu ccu cpuu.

Ru pu sucncujz, nc, dnmzz.

Ru vu suc nc cun, xpm mpusv,dnmsmu, n, sn, bg.Ru vnu, pupuu, scju,xpm, msuz,

gnd v.Ru suc xpm mpuz,psun

dn, vs.Cnd u s p, nu umns, psn s nvs

nsb, mu p cv. Nc cu c smu-, nm su dzchbu. P c d smn,


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JURNAL INIIAIC82

nvz, mpmn nvnc, gsv, mpusvsu xc.Ru bun c n umn s cnun cu s d c,

u mn nchsxpm ssc nmc smu u pmnu u su mn.

Adscn u n u m mu z dc u, ducs nun v nnsm su nscu. Psnc u u n dpu xm snuu sun bnv d

nv.

2. Portocaliu (orange)Pcu s c m nns dn cu, s un msc

pnuu zc (u) cu pnu mn (gbn).Es cu cdu, cv m. Es cu-

c m ds nn. Pzn s ndc ndn sp

chbu mn,ub mnc d. Omn cu ums n nj n u sun undmn bun s njuu smn. Es cu c p c dschd- c n dmn sub, ng cu ng s cnsucv undmn c mnn cpu zc n- s- bun. Acs sn v, cn n bn, c s s dbsz d m s, s m

n.Gbn- pcu spn d sn, p cnd pcubun pn n n ndc nch bnv c uccu unc cnd p nun d g.

Ong-u cu n vd cczz cc, ncmz, pc c dscu nmnb d pnu pc d dscu.Nun m ubu p c gu, mb, mnd, v-n sn. Psn c uz, c pm uun msc d u bun, vd pcu cpnd zn


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pxuu sc s c xpm d pbm d s-n nvu nsnuu sub cu gs.

3. GalbenEs cu c p bsv cu uun n u s

cu cv mn umn s, s d dsb. Gbnu s c m xpsv, c m cd cm dn dn cu.

Fn umn c n u s cu gbn-u mn-s ngn, nu, ub pu, mn unc, nspu. sn u hu u.

Gbnu xc nun bnc smu su-p ssmuu mc c u d p gnsmuu.

Gbnu vu ndc psn cns dc n c pv ncd.

Nun ps, n spc c d gbn p sp b,c nuzsmu pnu d m, dzv spu d.

Gbnu s cu c pzn p d c ndumu pgsv d vu, pzn pu d ns dz c d mdum cvz.

Nun m pund ubu p psn

ccz d gnd nz xcsv cu ccsmxg, dgmsm snmnu d ncunn dnp c.

Un gbn mud psn cs, , gbnuc pn c mz zc m cu sbcun sp-u, c schmb p g cund mu , nusun psvn.

Gbnu cu n xpm punc cmpx d n-, cnd u pdmn, psn su mu.


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JURNAL INIIAIC84

Cnd gbnu s bun pdmnn s smnuun md mn, psn cu dub psn ujum d u gbn-bu, c jum gbn-bunsu gbn-vd.

Un gbn-bun v gndu ncu cczz pbv, vgbnz, .

4. VerdeVd s cu nu, md n cd c,

nns n, pund umn.Vd mpspz, gnz, cmz, c

nc. Es nvu, xpm mb, dgs, bucu bundn, cdn vndc.

Cu vndc, smuz gn suu c-. Vd suc cu nun d bsu n spcu uc

ndc pu mdu.Vd ps (vd cud msc cu b) smnc n,

cm, pc n.Vd cu p d bsu nchs c psn s n

pn pcs d vu nv nuv.Vd smd xpm dn d cc un gnd

gc, c pund.

Vd sngu, cu, s pzn n u mdc psnuu sn c sun d pnu ms .Nun nchs su ubu p c nsgun zg-

cn. Vd nchs pp d c sc, dn gsm, nns vd pnu z m, bg nu.

Vd cu gbn-cn ndn n c mncun,n n. Escc u u d un vd gbu. Ddc vd s bu ums c cu su un bu cc uncpsn s ns.


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C c u vd n bj ps mgn, sub nu u s dsng nun d pn.Omn u u -bun-gbn cu vd mud.n gn, vd cu nun s bnc sb

chbu pshc, nuzz s d nvz, cspc d gn nvuu pc.

5. AlbastruAbsu s, dup gbn, du cu c p vzu

cu uun n u. Es cu c m dnc, c m c c m pu.

S cnsd ds c s cu um spu, ubpu, dub, cv ncndn. Es cu c-muu n, v. Rc dv, sz, nsc.

Absu c c m cpc d p mun gnsmuu, cnd gn cu.

Pzn bsuu n u smnc nu.Absu nchs pn psn c pgsz pn

u pp. Un bsu m nchs, sumbu pn ms-n cu vc.

Nun dschs d bsu mgn cv,

nun pd sun sc cu dn d u n pnsc.Absu umn dspus sub m un z ndc

num cpc d xg nm dn c m pundsu cnsn.

Absu c, n pp smncv xcn smn-cv dc s dspus sub m d z, c psn n cuz nv, smz spc sn pnuvu s spu. Nun nchs d bsu p c


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JURNAL INIIAIC86

d nv d dzv, bsu nns p ndc cns dscnmn, p ndc pp psn d vc s.Nun ubu d bsu p c bc pcp-

, mnc, gb ngj, dmn, m, u hpsnsb.

6. IndigoEs cu c xpm spu, v cu

sdu dvuu bsu. Es cmbn v n nu spu c c p pm ccsu dc npcun.Es cu cmpsun s d n pc n, s d hpucd smuu d spnsb. Cundg nunz n umn, c d puc, cm.

Psn c u ppndn n u cu ndg mn-s c dsb c nn, c supnu, mns

dn d puc, d pu.Un p v vd psn n-un mdu

pcpu c nnd cum bu s c nu ssc.7. VioletVu s cu cdu pmu, s cu

mbn mn cu nm, zcuu cu spu. A psncv n pmnn cu, cump, chb, c c

n md g ucd cun dnc gnd.Vu s cu n p c spu, cvspu. Expm pmsm nsg, c d,ndp pp, s d pn, mnpzn.

P pn zc ndc nnsc cv cdvscu,ccz sp, nunz pzv zsn cdc pumn. Abu cs cu sun ub, npcun,snc dpn, ncn gn, pu, cnd, spu nb.


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Vu vnd (v+b) s ccsc psnc ghdz, ndmn spu n.Nun p, d c d v cu pupuu p c

umn spu.Nun c p ndc psun, vn punc,

su nv pnu m mu ndvdu. Dc p nz ndc un cc u.

Nun nchs ubu ndc nv d dp num

su, su mgn c nns, ndn d xm d bd, nv d smp su smmnu cpsn n cuz nu s ns.

Un, psn cu v n u su d nm su smc.

8. AuriuAuu s cu c c ng spu dnmc

pu csmc, c m n ng d dvun su mn unvs.

Nun m ubu ndc pu c psn n cuz sn pn pcs d z nsp n, c ucz pnunsm xsn s.

9. Alb

Nnd cu c chnsn, ngb uucu spcuu vzb, bu pzn pzn bsu umn. Abu d sn s n u ndc s d pucxcpn, cpc uu d nscd um m,c dv puc.

10. NegruNgu nu s cu, c smnc bsn umn.

Es cu c m dscub spcuu uc. Nu ndun


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JURNAL INIIAIC88

cnd p n u p nsmn b, m su bsnbun, umus su dzchbu.Ngu s cu d pc c cnz c un scu m-

pv ng x p c s d up-, su c psn sc, su ndc mnn un n n-g d, su scc.

Ngu p ndc dzchb pn nvu zc dndc pcs zn c pn cz p n

u.

11. GriCu g s cu d n p ndc -

z un cpc nnscu. Aunc cnd gu nvdz cu ndc sbcun d sn d cc. Bnzg su punc g p cu d dsup unu gn

c c gn s n sun ngc c s v mbnvn cund.

Psn c u n u g u un cmpmn cnms,cnvnn cmp ps d mgn. Sun n cccz d vug, mschn mdc.

Gu smbzz dps s cu c s un-n.

12. MaroEs cu c, unc cnd p c, suc,

usz un cc bs sp d gnz, ndcsb d n dcn dn d mpn. Aunc cndp dsup cpuu su n juu pc c nuc.

Cu m p ndc ps d ng su dzchbu, cnd p n zn cn ngc s ndc c


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cs busc puc pnu c ng sun bc cs nv.

13. ArgintiuAunc cnd p c n scp sun un smn d cv

, cnd p sup m m ndc cvcv n su . P v smnc un mgndbdn, pc d c, d vs, d cnmp.

n spc s ngv ndc ndn c mcnsm,dn d cumu bn.

Astzi, 22.04.2010, ora 22:54. Asz s Vn m. Msun du z pn P. M g, m s smb. Cc vns pp dus. D c nsmn P? n z dupm Mnuuu, nv. Psu Pu s un ps s.

Un ps n c C c vn pnu n c nv dcnsn, C c vn pnu n gb vu spu, s g ns m. bu s n gndm c sunmcum, n cs mmn, d Lu. Nu s cuvn s mncmcnu, s bm, s n vsm. Mc , nnd ps, mLu c sunm sd cu E. As bu s d d gnd um...

D, cum s b cu Isus. Am m dscu-. bu spus

d bun ncpu c bu cu dn n sp zc.V c p pcusu xpun dn n zc m.Avnhv spun c pn Fu u Dumnzu bu s s

supun g Lu. Ad, dn punc d vd zc Isus s-nscu dn- m un bb. As nu mpdc cu nmcxsn Lu n m dvn, cc cpu zc nu gucu spu. N c dnn n zc, vnp Pmn unu sp c s Fu d Dumnzu, s sbcu mu mp nn ch d c E. E njz vn


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JURNAL INIIAIC90

ch dsnu. Spu s Unu n, un sp vu. Es spu supm, cnp cu Dumnzu c gjd n, d gx! Ad cnd vbm dsp Isus bus n gndm m psus sp dc cpu zc, s pcc vu spu, cc E n supvghz mpu, vznd c mn nc nu L- ns p Dumnzu, s-h s s ncnz. s- ncn. Nu s mpn cum s-ncn, cu c s p cum spun Bb. Impn

s c un smn sp umn cb p Pmn.P dspzc n ncp s dvn cnn d nu s

dvn ncp s pdc n mpu. Ap nu s m nmc, nus m spun nmc, pn vs d zc d n. S p, cumxs un , s vu un msu spu c - z pdpn cnn s dvn su pu smpu s s z sngu.Es m gu, d nu mpsb, m s c vbm d un sp

c s , vu. V d sm, spu, c nmn sp d p pn dn cs gx, svn p pmn n-un smn md (n n suu d ) n-un smn mmn. Cc cnn cmun js. Pu u s s nsc n- m d g. D s msn, umn. I suu c m cu c d pPmn n c nu xsu ng ngv mn. Dc-

m pm cmp vug, c cum dcu gnd m cmpn, pnu cmpn, s vn s mu pjs n c cmpn, s s ngjz, su s supmnz un jbd mu. Cm .

Ap, z nv. Nu v d c s nvz cu cu upuzc. Cu c cs s p. p s mn cu , cc sp dmz. D c s c cu upu zc? n-dv,unc cnd cb n mjcu ps, pu mzcpu zc. D cum m spus, nu pnu mu mp. C d c s


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dmnsz ps c E nv. L cu m c vu s pun dgu s s cnvng.N n cmpnm d ucu mun nu vdm snu.

N cmpnm d m nu vdm spuu. Impn sc vn un d m sp p Pmn s n nv, s n c nv. bu d s-I pcm nvu. A! D c ncmpnm dc v su nu cp zc? D c n mpdcmd d nsmncv? Impn s s scum! S

nccm dn pu ns s cm c c n- nv.Cc unc cnd cnv m np dc n su, u vs- scu su. s cu Isus. Dc Pn vsu vspun s v ub, d c nu c? D c um s nc ? Dc nu scum? M s pun ucu s v schmb. vm scu, nu num cv, cum s cum. M s pun...

Astzi, 23.04.2011, ora 21:09. A v s duc cmp c c m spus m sus. Cum cd c - s Isus ps?Aps u s nc nn d ncn. nu c dcs gssc c p Pmn. cun. - s nn.

Astzi, 24.04.2011, ora 01:24. Asz s P. cmc m-m ns d bsc. Am u Lumn psc. D c

smnc d p P? C bu s ngm dn csj, dn cs sb? D c vn Isus p pmn?P n nu, pn j u Isus c vm v dup

m. Isus cnd nv, d p vu. u c sun cm u,d s. Dup c mu p Pmn, cu n c v.Cc m s c dn- v n . Ad E n- c dup c mum, m n cnnu. n sp. u cp u un punc d vd, d s- b . P nunsmn c Isus s Dumnzu. A c s dvn d ng


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JURNAL INIIAIC92

n c mp s ncn pn mnun p c - npu,pn vndc p c - cu, pn nv m. Pn cs, n- nu, c m mc dc E, c s Fud Dumnzu. M g, c m s d dscu, d p d.Dc c ncn, Isus n- u u Dvn. pnc c ppvdu! Nu m spun d s! Cc vn n nmpu cud mn. s ncc s schmb n Lg,n p d gnd, n pnu mn pmv, s

cmpc. p c p Isus! Lu dvn n- - dmns-. D E, d p, pn nv Lu, n- dmnsc vm v vnc. Cn cd n Mn, v v v vnc(In 6:47), spun E. Ac s nun c ncs mudscu.

Acum vu s vbsc dsp cn d c vn bsc.Unu dn ucu c m dnjz n bsc s um d

c. Omn c vn, un dn , vdn, pc nu n cnd gu d bun sm. I p mn m dnjz s. Du psn, vbsc n mpu sujb. m m ssz un spc. Fmu um d ugh. Cump umn sc un ngcs p d h s pmn pnu sn, pnubuns. D, s nu s judc, su nu s v , nmnnu c nmc pnu . Ap dn p. Un ps

spun (dn pc nu m u cn ) c Isus vn pnu schmb um pn schmb n! P, dc nmn nu cnmc pnu - m bn, cum p s-I ? Dnd ugh? ugh sun mpn, d dc u cnnu s cu puncdn, c ju cs c p? Dc u cnnus mnnc ps, s gnd ps, s vb ps, v s vndc cu bun? Nu v vndc NICIODA! A mpc U nu schmb p n, nu v pn s schmb u,s vndc bun, su s m bn pnu c un pp


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