The History of Joe Biden

(a slideshow duh)

a.k.a. Uncle Joe, Joey, Joey B, Diamond Joe Biden, Old Handsome Joe, VPOTUS

Datzzz him >>>>

BEST VPOTUS EVARRR >>>>>>>>>>>>>Infinitely cooler than Al Gore

>>>>>>>(or like anyone else ever)

Childhood• Joey Biden had a pretty

badass childhood, sliding under dump trucks, and hanging from beams 50 feet above the ground and all that.

• He had a stutter, but he totally overcame that, because NOTHING gets in the way of Diamond Joe Biden

DAWWW he is so cute

This pic was probs taken at Catholic skool – catholic kids HOLLA

Oh, yeah, and he’s from SCRANTON PENNSYLANIA. Remember that because he will NEVER LET YOU FORGET THAT.

His College Yearzz

Ermahgerd he is so hot can’t deal with all these feelings

Went to the University of Delaware, where his sexy lady wife Jill went(GO BLUEHENS)

Went to law school at Syracuse with family (his then wife Neila and his adorable kidz) need proof of

how adorable? NEXT SLIDE

THIS ADORABLE

So Joe decided to run for the US Senate against a heavily favored Republican incumbent in 1972, and the whole state of Delaware seeing how awesomely awesome Joe and his family was totally voted him in at AGE TWENTY NINE. One of the youngest elected senators ever, y’all. So obviously his life was perfect and happily ever after, BUT NOOOOO

SUPER SAD LIFE STORY

Just after being elected to the Senate, his wife and newborn daughter died in a car accident, and both his sons were in the hospital for months…he even swore into the Senate at their bedsides

And he took the Amtrak to the Senate every day in the morning and came back every day to spend time with his sons

Seriously tragic :’( You wouldn’t even wish this on your worst enemy

:’( So sad

He doesn’t work on December 18th, in remembrance of his wife and daughter

BUT JOE BIDEN DOESN’T STAY DOWN FOR LONG Y’ALL

• Joe’s bro introduced him to the very fetching Jill Jacobs (now known as DR. Jill Biden), who after their first date, called her mom at one in the morning and said “Mom, I think I’ve finally met a gentleman.”

Ladies/women/sexy beasts, admit it, Joe Biden is the man of our dreamz.

Dammm dat smile

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^TOP THAT LOVE STORY, Taylor Swift!!

They married in 1975, and here is a slide full of just how fucking cute they are

Joe then proceeded to have one of the most badass senate careers in all of

history

Definitely beat out this^^^^ loooooser’s senate career

15th longest serving Senator in history

Wrote and sponsored VAWA, because women are DA BEST

“Borked” the SCOTUS nomination of official crazy person Robert Bork, saving us decades of judicial stupidity

Served as the Chairman of the Judiciary AND THEN the Foreign Affairs Commitees, two VERY super duper special Senate committees

Elected to seven terms THAT IS A WHOLE HECKUVA LOT OF SENATORING

May 1999: youngest senator to cast 10,000 votes

Basically 2000000x more competent than his combover

AND THEN HE BECAME VPOTUS

Obama picked him, and while O got pretty pissed that Joe could never shut up, they obviously soon became BFF’s

The White House tumblr even tagged one of their posts “5eva” because DUH THAT’S HOW TIGHT THEY ARE (and whatever interns run the WH tumblr, you are da best

And threw out an f bomb on national television signing the health care bill (I was watching in history class it was awesome I tell you)

And was on Parks and Rec I LOVE YOU LESLIE KNOPE

And in O’s darkest moment…Joe declared,

“MALARKEY!!!”And schooled that 5 year old woman hating punk Paul Ryan back to the old school with 90 minutes of smiling, laughing, and generally badass Irish-isms, while little

Paul could only drink like a gallon of water in response

So basically Joe saved the day (and the campaign) from the clutches of those

gross old rich guys so he could continue blessing us all with his VPOTUS attitude

THANKS JOE WE LOVE YOU

NO SRSLY CALL US