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Jasmine Ng
School Counsellor
2 Jan 2018
What is School Counselling?
Some Parenting Tips for P1 transition
Play and Learning (vs Screen Media Usage)
Praise and Encouragement (vs Punishment )
Set goals (vs expectations)
Home-School Partnership: Working together
Focus on social-emotional issues
Provide emotional support - listening ears and showing empathy
Allow for self-expression through various creative media
Impart coping skills and strategies
Facilitate additional support from teachers, parents or peers.
Professional code of ethics
Confidentiality
Conditions for breach of confidentiality
*intention to harm self/others
*illegal activities
Non-judgemental attitude
Focus: Well-being of the student; learning is
optimised.
Think. How did you play when you were a child?
How did play help as you were growing up?
My Story: About how my childhood played a part in moulding my personality.
Last stanza:
When you ask me what I’ve done at school today,
And I say, I “Just played.”
Please don’t misunderstand me.
For, you see, I’m learning as I play.
I’m learning to enjoy and be successful at my work,
I’m preparing for tomorrow.
Today, I am a child and my work is play.
Anita Wadley
Edmond, Oklahoma
Early Childhood is defined as period from birth to 8 years (UNESCO)
Scientific studies have shown that play is crucial for child development.
It shapes how a child make meaning of the world. Develops understanding about properties of matter and how things work.
It develops abstract thinking and development of language Associates symbol to objects
Communicates thinking in words
It facilitates development of self-regulation. Refers to the ability of children to control their emotional and thought
impulses.
Through complex, extended make-believe scenarios (Tools of the Mind, Leong & Bodrova, 1992)
(Vygotsky, 1978)
It builds strong parent-child bond.
Allow or be involved in free unstructured play.
Withhold judgement or comments
Ask questions to evoke problem-solving or verbalisation of play
Connect with your child through play – 10mins a day.
Physical game of ball, word game like “Hangman”, board or card game such as UNO, Twisters, Monopoly etc.
Use play as an incentive for desirable behaviours.
Outdoor play: taking a walk, run, sport activities
Exploration of nature and surroundings,
Evoke curiosity and invite questions
Expose to different levels of play: solitary to multiple groups of people.
Prevalence
Effects of using screen media
Strategies to guide screen media usage in children.
Think.
How much time a day is your child involved in screen media?
How do you limit their usage of screen media?
1 in every 2 children (below 2 years old) are exposed to screen devices
Exposure varied from regular (daily viewing) to heavy (>2hr a day)
Prevalence of exposure doubles every 6 months.
Language Delay
Obesity
Behavioural, Attention
Low self esteem and Anxiety
Impaired Academic performance
Disruption of sleep patterns
Recommendations
Monitor screen time and content.
Keep TVs, computers, devices out of bedroom.
Eliminate Background TV.
Watch with your child
Be a good role model
Talk to other caregivers
Encourage playtime
Encourage alone time
Media Use and Its Development Effects, NUH, 2016
Praise
An expression of approval or admiration for
E.g. “Great job!”
“You are so smart!”
“You look great in that red dress!”
Encouragement:
An act of making something more appealing or likely to happen
E.g. “I appreciate your help.”
“You are a good team player. “
“How do you feel about it?”
Example: Child gets an A for her English test (Praise response)
Praise focuses on
Perfection rather than progress or improvement
A right or wrong outcome rather than a meaningful experience
Good or bad decisions rather than the decision-making process
Pride or disappointment rather than acceptance and support
Example: Child gets an A for English test (Encouragement response)
Use Encouragement to teach your child to
Reflect on choices, attitudes, actions and behaviours they make for themselves; as well as progress and preferences.
Figure out what is important to them in order to have a satisfying and meaningful adult life.
Spend less time comparing with others and asking the outside world to measure their worth as people.
Taken from PBS.parents,expert-tips-advice, 2015
Ask questions which lead child to retrospect.
“Tell me about it.” “What do you think?”
Focus on the deed, instead of the doer
“Thank for helping. “
“Who can show me the proper way to sit?”
Focus on the experience /process, instead of the outcome.
“What did you do differently to get this result?”
“How much effort do you think you have out in?”
Taken from PBS.parents,expert-tips-advice, 2015
Recognise effort and intention
“I notice that you have spent a lot of time working
on the project.”
“I could see you tried hard to get it right. I appreciate that effort.”
Withhold judgement
E.g. good, bad, smart, clever
Use appropriate tone of voice
Being authentic
Defines as “ a pain, suffering or loss that serves as penalty or consequence for a wrongdoing.” (www.yourdictionary.com)
Often used as a negative reinforcement or deterrent for undesirable behaviours
E.g. grounding, spanking, caning, removal of use of video games.
Positive reinforcement is more effective than punishment.
The use of physical punishment to discipline children is not an Asian phenomena, but widely practised worldwide.
*Poll in US on 1000 adults
81% of sample believed that spanking with hand should be legalised.
35% of children experienced some form of corporal punishment at least once a year
61% woman report hitting, beating, spanking or slapping their children.
The Singapore Scene
More prevalent in primary school than secondary school
Parent tend to use physical punishment as a form of discipline
*Huffington Post and YouGov, Nov 2014
PROBLEM WITH PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT*
Compliance by fear
Constant fear may lead to anxiety and depression
Cycle of increased severity of physical punishment
Crossing the line from discipline to physical abuse
Low self- esteem and social withdrawal
Learnt aggression and violence
*Adapted from The Straits Times, 11 Jul 2017
Scientific evidence in last 20 years has shown that physical punishment is linked with negative developmental outcomes.
Higher risk of mental health problems, such as anxiety and depression to drug and substance abuse
Distant parent-child relationship
Associated with violence and aggression to get one’s way.
Decreased academic skills and academic performance in school
Slower skills development and behavioural concerns.
Understand the function of the undesirable behaviour.
Keep open communication without judgment.
Allow for natural consequences.
Discuss issues together and ways to resolve it,
Provide support for learning
A positive approach to discipline communicates respect and value for the child, nurtures and supports the child’s development and lead to a more trusting and fulfilling relationship
Qn: Should parents set expectations for their child to do well in their studies? Attend University?
*Studies:
Parents expectation for children's academic achievement is a predictor of education outcomes more than parental involvement in school.
Other variables: Parent -child relationship
Out-of- school experiences
Child's own goals and aspiration
Gender household income
*Child Trends Databank. (2015). Parental expectations for their children’s academic attainment.
Available at: https://www.childtrends.org/?indicators=parental-expectations-for-their-childrens-
academic-attainment
Story of an 11-year-old who committed suicide because he did not do well in his studies.
Increase in suicide rates in children and adolescence (age 15-19) in 2015
More students facing issues academic stress, anxiety and depression, suicide ideation, panic attacks.
Downside of too high expectations Overly concern with one’s mistakes or failures and not meeting
expectations of others (Maladaptive Perfectionism)
Critical towards themselves; not allowing self to make mistakes (esp. in threatening and intrusive environment)
Loss of joy of learning and discovery
Less inclined to seek help due to displayed vulnerability
Taken from article in Lianhe Zaobao, 1 Jan 2017. Are We Pushing Our Children Too Hard in Academics? By
Dr Ryan Hong, Assistant Professor, Department of Psychology;
CFPR Research Associate, NUS
Know your child’s abilities and do not push too far.
Focus not on outcome expectations but process and progress
Focus not on ability but effort and study strategies
Focus on developing good study habits and link them with value education.
Give your child space to learn and explore at his/her pace.
Do not compare your child with others.
Provide a supportive environment and not focus on mistakes
Your child needs to play; it is their work and their way to learn.
Limit the use of screen usage; it hinders learning and serves as a great distraction.
Rather than praise, encourage your child in this educational journey.
Physical punishment has detrimental effects on the child’s development,
Parental expectations have an impact of child’s academic achievement, but it should be moderated and communicated appropriately to avoid its downside of unhealthy “perfectionism”.
Many research have shown positive effects of schools and parents continuously working hand-in-hand to support and encourage the children’s learning and development.
Elements of a good partnership
Common goal: Child’s holistic development and well-being
Effective and open communication
Frequent interaction between FT and Parents/Caregiver
Trust
If you have any concerns or query, …
Approach form teachers with your concerns.
Call the General Office and leave a message.
Jasmine Ng
School Counsellor
Tel no: 6248 5400
