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Its Your Seed

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Aim of Loving parents is to present their kids with best aspect of life as seen by them. The best in terms of food,clothes,shelter etc but one of the major aspect is often missed by them which is a positive point of view about life. My book helps those loving parents to present the same to their beloved kids.....!!!!

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Page 1: Its Your Seed
Page 2: Its Your Seed

It’sIt’sIt’sIt’s your seedyour seedyour seedyour seed

ByByByBy

B.Deepak KumarB.Deepak KumarB.Deepak KumarB.Deepak Kumar

Page 3: Its Your Seed

©2012 B. Deepak Kumar

All rights reserved

No part of this publication may be reproduced,

stored in or introduced into a retrieval system or

transmitted, in any form, or by any means without

prior permission of the publisher.

Request for copy permission and copies of the

book may be directed to

[email protected].

Printed in India

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THANKSGIVINGTHANKSGIVINGTHANKSGIVINGTHANKSGIVING

Great is my God for his shower of blessings in the

form of knowledge, thankful to the people around

for their never ending positive source of power, a

necessity for developing a clear picture of this wide

philosophical world.

(B. DEEPAK KUMAR)

Mail to: [email protected]

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TO THE READERSTO THE READERSTO THE READERSTO THE READERS

Gift of parenthood is one of the best gift by nature

to a couple. It is a gift as well as a responsibility to

be fulfilled by a couple. Some couples do have

some complaints about this responsibility and hence

try to put on hold their plans of having a baby

owing to their personal needs.

For a male, it may be about having a house, a car

etc, for a female, it may be her beauty concerns or

caretaking pain etc. With wide variety of reasons

couples delay a natural process from occurring.

Amongst these types of people, we can also find

some Godly hearts that understand the

importance of a kid. People with such an heart, do

think on the ways and try to bring up their child in a

best possible style they believe in. They also help

their kid grow up as a responsible individual in this

wide open world.

What about the book? I know it’s the question you

are going to shoot at me. As a caring parent, I

appreciate your effort or interest in knowing things

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which will make your kids future great and bright.

You are at the right place to begin a journey and as

you finish this trip you will have handful

information and tips about the ways you can

understand the state of mind of a kid as well as

his/her expectations. You may find many books in

the market suggesting about your kid’s eating,

reading, socializing habits etc.,

This particular book will let you know about the

ways of understanding your kids mind and treat

them as human beings to be taught rather than

treating them as a box to be filled up. You may

provide your kid with best clothes, best shelter,

best education but it is the best point of view

about this world which the child always expects

from you. You provide him/her with every great

resource but warn him/her from behaving freely

in this world in the name of caution. And the kid

grows up cautiously not happily. This is a

practical book which will introduce you to the

expectations of the mind of kids.

When you can understand expectations of a mind

half the problem is solved, rest of the problem can

be solved by thinking on the techniques or the ways

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of either fulfilling good expectations or limiting and

correcting those bad expectations.

Be ready to get into socks of a kid, sometimes

having a relook on our past helps us in recalculating

our future. You have choose this book with a good

intention of understanding your kid and you will

end up understanding something more about

yourself too.

As an author of this book, my best wishes are with

you, praying for your true welfare.

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Table of ContentsTable of ContentsTable of ContentsTable of Contents

ChapterChapterChapterChapter PagePagePagePage

1. Point of View…………….05

2. Decisions ………............19

3. Appreciation ………….27

4. Desires…………………34

5. Nature………………..39

6. Great people……...42

7. Two Worlds……..51

8. Unique Kids….53

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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----1 1 1 1

POINT OF VIEWPOINT OF VIEWPOINT OF VIEWPOINT OF VIEW

It was a multi-specialty hospital situated in

India; tensed moods outside an operation

theater, unable to hear the screaming sound

from inside, everyone were waiting for an

arrival. As the time passed, their views stuck at

the doors of an operation theater. At last a

doctor came out, aiming at all those sharp

listening ears and particularly to those of a man;

he said”Congrats Mr., you have a healthy girl

child”. The gathering cheered loud and then

tensed man, who was the husband of the lady

inside the OP Theater, was filled with an

excitement of accepting his new responsibility as

a “Father”. He looked around the relatives

present there with a sense of happiness and

pride.

Thanking the doctor whole heartedly, father was

eager to have a first look of his new born baby.

After a brief wait, he actually saw the baby. During

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this period, lot of emotions were experienced by

him, a person who was till now leading a different

life on this earth, began to believe that he was

indeed a reason for creation of a Life on this earth.

He approached his wife, after kissing her turned

towards his baby, touched its skin which was as soft

as petals of flower, enjoying the sight he was up in

tears of happiness. He understood Life.

A Baby is born with a fresh mind, fresh energy,

fresh soul etc. Believe me a kid grows and its mind

will think as well as analyze incidents by

connecting one situation with some other situation

or one instruction with another. Keep speaking to

your kid you will know it better; kids have a superb

creative way of analyzing an incident, the way you

hadn’t thought about in your entire life.

You are being made a part of this exercise of

understanding your kid’s behavior for a reason. As I

had informed earlier, you had chosen this book with

a good intention of understanding your kid and you

will end up understanding more about yourself too.

As young parents, you need to know that there is a

difference between you and your child. Let me

elaborate. Every human being on this earth passes

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through three different stages of Life.

First one is known as younger stage of life wherein human beings don’t have any

responsibilities and hence recognized as kids. Kids

eat, play, learn and perform all activities in their life

under the supervision of guardians. They live in

their own world and are not worried about

materialistic compulsions of life till they are

protected by their parents. A kid performs an act

based on ability factor without thinking about its

good and bad consequences.

Next is the adult stage of life. An adult has lots of

obligations to be fulfilled. For every act committed

by him/her, an associated reason is expected which

may be conveyed to the people around based on the

situational requirements. Thus adults need to

convert only those thoughts into an efficient act

which are felt to be good for themselves as well as

people around.

Finally it is about the transformation stage wherein a human being in his/her younger stage of

life gets transformed into an adult. The person who

thus gets transformed to gain conscious about his

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responsibilities in this world is said to have become

matured in his/her life.

A stress upon this particular stage of life is justified

owing to its ability of directly influencing the “state

of mind” of a human being. The term “state of

mind” here refers to mood of a person which may

be either happy or sad.

When human beings mature, lots of changes are

experienced in their life, these changes are of both

physical as well mental in nature. Physical changes

are set of biologically tuned process which gets self

initiated as the person grows physically wrt time.

But by understanding various dimensions of mental

changes we can discover a path of true happiness. A

person, who may be physically disabled, can still

scale great heights of happiness in his life by being

mentally matured.

A human being who is passing through stage of

mental maturity tends to develop/accept a belief

about the life led on this earth based on five

important factors as mentioned below:

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1. Thinking power of the particular human

being

2. His/her observational power

3. Physical ability

4. Past experience and conclusions of the

parents

5. People with whom the particular human

being interacts.

A combination of above mentioned five causes

drives the mind of a person towards a belief and

with this belief as a basis the particular person

succeeds in designing a Point of View (PoV) about

the life led on this Earth.

Point of view of a person is a unique identity i.e.

each human being has his own PoV about an idea or

an incidence experienced. Human beings who are

successful in gaining a belief in the good qualities

shall possess a positive PoV about the life led on

this earth to experience true happiness in their life.

I know that above set of information has been too

heavy on your mind. To simplify, a parent who

gives good food, good clothes, good shelter and

good education is considered as a good parent.

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But parents who apart from fulfilling the above

materialistic needs, when they succeed in

presenting a Positive Point of view about life to

their kids, they will be thanked by their kids

throughout their life.

Before trying to present a positive point of view

about this world to your kids, let me tell you that it

is necessary for you to possess that positive point of

view about the world else you will end up feeding

something wrong to your kids which you didn’t

wish for.

And many of you may fret that it is your life and I

have no authority in changing or altering with your

PoV about the life. I may agree upon your point

with respect to your unique behavior but when it

comes to your kids, let them have a change. If you

don’t permit it, you are just going to raise them as a

copy cat of your life, nothing new, nothing

refreshing and damn boring. This boring life has

every power of making your kid’s life go sick which

is nothing but negative.

How can you ascertain that you have a positive

point of view about life? But before answering this

question if I say that your kid’s welfare is not only

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in your hands but also in the hands of the people

around i.e. your spouse, neighbors, workers in your

house etc would you agree? Yes, you need to.

I would like to convey that nature has put us in a

tight spot wherein we can never be happy all alone,

even if we are so it will be short-lived; we need to

be good and work on the goodness of the people

around or else follow the lifestyle of the people

around. Tricky situation indeed!!!!! Hence if you

wish your kid to have great qualities you must bring

him/her up among the people who have been

successful in practicing great ideas/thoughts in their

life

It is a wholesome reaction on your kid as in the

below picture:

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So here is the method to bring up your child in a

healthy environment:

1. You learn good and great thoughts to

develop a positive point of view about life.

2. You teach or prove those thoughts to your

kids by speaking positively and inculcating

good habits in them.

Your

relatives

and

neighbor

Your

kid’s

friends

and well

You and

your

spouse

KID

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3. You also share the good messages and good

aspects of life with your spouse, neighbors,

relatives and friends.

In short, create a circle of good positive

environment, it may be at home or at office or

anywhere you move about.

It is time to come back and concentrate on our

question of how to ascertain whether we are having

a positive point of view about life or not? To

analyze, you need to make a list of situations

wherein you felt sad or happy about your life.

Have you made a list? Now among the list,

segregate the situations as materialistic and

humanistic. A person with a positive point of view

never feels happy or sad for his/her materialistic

needs i.e. money, material, position etc. Even with

respect to humanistic crisis i.e. a lie from your dear

one, cheating etc a positive minded person will not

be sad. A person with a positive point of view will

be sad only when there is a loss of life it may be of

his/her relatives, friends or someone who doesn’t

even know him/her i.e. completely unrelated.

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If you can’t believe me, you can cross verify the

information. Kids are the best individuals who are

naturally gifted with positive mind in their life but

are unconscious about the fact and as they grow the

fact is forgotten by them. A kid gets falsely happy

and sad for all the materials i.e. toys, chocolate,

gifts etc, but gets truly happy or sad for mother,

father or a guardian. You can observe the difference

in its cry for a toy and a cry for relationship and that

difference explains everything.

I would like to end up this chapter with a

practical circumstance; you can decipher the

desire of human beings for new things/materials as

below.

People believe that by gaining materials they can be

happy, this notion is very much rampant and

accepted by many societies around the world, which

is not correct. The problem may not be of very

serious type but it disturbs the fabric of a good

society to make people experience sadness

unnecessarily. So, let us analyze the reason for the

problem with a refreshed mind and understand the

foolishness of humanity in accepting materials as a

target of life.

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People, especially the youngsters, believe that they

are born on this earth to have new clothes, gadgets,

vehicles etc, etc. Though on lighter part there may

be nothing wrong with the belief but when the same

is analyzed wrt knowledge of life, a real fact hidden

behind the youngster’s desire for new materials can

be exposed.

You love a new gadget, purchase and use it to feel

happy. The reason behind this happiness is a sense

of newness and refreshment felt by you. To be new,

it is a requirement to constantly update our minds

by keeping it in all time thinking mode. Ultimately,

a desire for newness can be linked to the quality of

continuous thinking without feeling lazy which is

again a good quality to be practiced.

A new vehicle or gadget or dress can be designed

only by a person who has good qualities of

voluntary commitment and concentration towards

his work. By buying his new product you are

actually supporting his good thought. Hence,

people’s desire for new gadget is actually

connected with good qualities of commitment

and all time thinking.

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Your brain requires good thoughts to develop

good qualities and not materials to satisfy it.

Materials are only a tool for physical exposure of

your level of knowledge.

A more detailed proof is explained as below:

Imagine that you are having a picture tube

television (I know it is too odd to imagine), using it

for around ten years and your neighbor is also

having same kind of television. Neighbor and you

are working in same company earning same amount

of salary. Interview calls for a higher post is given

to you as well as to your colleague from your

company at a same time and both of you attend the

interview. Your colleague, who has the quality of

hard work and commitment as well as good

interaction capabilities with his higher-ups, after

a weeklong intensive preparation, attends and

passes the interview to obtain promotion along

with a salary hike. But, you being a lazy person

don’t give much interest to interview process and

hence fail to clear the interview.

Your colleague buys a new LCD television to

replace the older picture tube version using his

increased salary. Your wife makes a note of it and

pressurizes you to buy one. She fails to understand

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your explanation regarding the inability to buy a

new LCD TV citing your failure in interview

process and thus a fight breaks open between both

of you. With a bitter mood, you catch up a fight

with your colleague citing his new LCD TV to be

the reason for quarrel between you and your wife. A

sense of sadness prevails at your home as well as at

your office.

At this moment of time, you may find fault in a

material called LCD TV to be the primary reason

for your sadness. But when the entire situation is

analyzed properly with patience you will realize that

it is lack of good qualities of hard work and

commitment to the company from your side which

were possessed by your colleague as the primary

reason responsible for the present situation. Due to

lack of above said good qualities you failed to clear

the interview which in turn restricted your ability to

buy a new LCD TV.

This is a typical example to prove you that it is the

difference in amount of good qualities/knowledge

possessed which is responsible for sadness &

enmity between two people and materials are just a

physical representation of the same.

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To counter this problem, you can either learn and

incorporate the good qualities of your friend into

your life or try to convince your wife about your

limitations.

But we as adults sometimes get confused and feel

truly happy or sad for materialistic needs

completely ignoring the importance of human

relationship. When a time arises in our life

enlightening us about human values we would have

missed the timeline which could have been turned

into golden moments to be cherished and felt happy

about.

Through this first chapter, I request you to raise

your kids up positively by feeding them with a

belief on good qualities. You can take up a

situation and analyze it before your kids to

highlight the importance of a good quality

hidden in the situation. You are also expected to

help your kids understand their mistakes as well

as achievements.

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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----2 2 2 2

DECISIONSDECISIONSDECISIONSDECISIONS

“Decision for a situation”, is one simple sentence

which has long lasting effect on the life of human

beings. It is an ultimate tool which indicates the

state of mind of a person, his/her character and

probably his/her future too.

Let me make it lighter. You came across my book

and find it useful. Would you like to share this

special information with other’s around or think

otherwise?

Now your mind will be in the processing mode,

weighing the advantages and disadvantages options

about sharing and not sharing. A good hearted

person will be quick to decide and will share the

information with other needy people. The only

thought which makes him/her to arrive at this

solution will be about the usefulness of this piece of

information to other’s in solving their problems.

When he/she develops this particular type of

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thought in his/her mind, the same is fed into mind as

an instruction to deal with the future problems and

optimizes mind to think in that positive direction.

Thus a person’s/kid’s mind are programmed step by

step based on the observations, instructions and

decisions taken. If you are a parent or guardian

please be careful while speaking to kids or taking

decisions before kids as you are not speaking but

you are programming them.

Many adults have problem in taking decisions and

end up taking a wrong turn which may help them in

fulfilling their wrong desires but they will miss a

big deal of happiness which is a gift for selfless

decisions.

A classic example is imagining a situation wherein

you are traveling in a car to catch a flight on an

urgent business engagement. You fear becoming

late to the airport and hence ride the car fast. In this

hurried mood you involve in an accident by riding

the car over a road crossing pedestrian. You watch

him bleeding profusely.

You are now in double mind. One mind tells you to

help him and another mind asks you concentrate on

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your schedule of catching a flight without worrying

about dying man. Two minds generated Two types

and can be labeled as X and Y. Great!! These two

minds are like two people, one on your left and

another on your right. A person on your right

indicates one direction and the one on your left

indicates another direction. You are now expected

to move by selecting one among the two directions.

The two thoughts can be tabled as below, you can

have a glance, but the principle I wish you to

understand is about the art of selecting one

suggestion among two or more and giving it a status

of decision.

Thought

Level Xthought Ythought

1

Asks you to get

down, take the

patient to the

hospital and save

his life.

Informs that by

getting down you will

miss the flight as well

as your business. Thus

tries to convince you

for leaving the patient

on the road all alone.

2

Inform that if you

try to escape, cops

will chase and

arrest you.

A counter thought

mentions “Since no

one is there on the

road to inform the

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police and patient is

struggling for his life,

cops would not be

able to identify you.”

3

But patient needs

to be admitted to

the hospital by you

for immediate

treatment.

A wicked mind

responds that some

passersby will take

care of the patient.

4

By the time any

passerby

approaches, the

patient would die

and a life will be

lost on this earth.

Since the patient is an

old man there is

nothing wrong in

leaving him to die.

5

Xthought once

again warns about

the guilty feel of

killing a person to

be experienced by

you for your entire

life.

Ythoughts responds to

the same and tried to

put fault on the man

that it was mistake of

the old pedestrian to

cross the road without

watching out for the

vehicles, hence you

can’t be held guilty.

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From the above table, you can observe two minds

have put forth their arguments before you like two

lawyers arguing before a judge. A judge’s decision

will define his/her character as described below:

Deducing a Person’s behavior based on

Thought

Level

Support for

Xthought

Support for

Ythoughts

1 Basically a Good

person by Heart

Basically a Selfish

person

2

Believes in

following law of

land.

Obeys law only when

there is an observer.

3

A good person

who has quality of

love and care for

needy.

Burden shifter, who

shifts his/her burden

on other’s shoulders

4

Respects the

importance of a

life.

Finds reason to forgo

his responsibilities.

5 Fears for

punishments

A real wicked minded

person who gives

importance to his/her

selfish needs only

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Now you can make out about the power of decisions

which has the ability to explain your character to the

people around. Considering yourself as the one who

has made an accident, if your support is for

Xthought at any level you will be considered as a

good person by patient, if you support Ythought at

any level you will be considered as bad person by

the patient. By gaining an award of being a good

human being, you will feel more confident of being

in the right path of life. Goodness gives you

happiness and happiness will gift you a confidence

of moving ahead, it is like a chain reaction.

Your goodness shall be considered only by

another good person and your decision shall not

only reveal your mentality but also reveal the

mentality of the person with whom you were

supposed to do a business wrt above example. To

elaborate, imagine that you had supported the

Xthought and conveyed the same to far end

business partner, now a set of Xthoughts and

Ythoughts shall arise in his mind and based on his

support to type of thought you can reveal his

mentality. If the business partner is good, he will

support you and show respect to your good

decision, else he will tag you as a foolish person

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who gave up a good business opportunity just for

sake of an old person.

It all depends on you i.e. you can be happy to

have taken a right decision of supporting

Xthought or be sad that you lost a business deal

because of supporting the same.

As a third type of reaction, you can be happy for

getting an opportunity to identify your probable

business partner’s character (good or bad) as a

result of this accident.

By this time, you should be clear about the

importance of taking a decision (good as well as

bad) for a situation in your life and its ability to

control your state of mind as well as those of your

friends & relatives. It is not about the situation

which is to be noted but it is about the art of taking

a decision which has great importance wrt the

situation.

Situations can differ, for example instead of car

accident it may be your wife being sick and you

have an important appointment at office or the

situation may be your mother is sick but you have

promised your lover for an outing.

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Second chapter is about helping your kid to take

right decision. Kids learn pattern of taking

decision from parents; they give importance to

ideals comparable to those of their parents. If

you give importance to wrong reason, the same

may be repeated by your kids. So be cautiously

careful while discussing things and taking

decisions before Kids!

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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----3 3 3 3

APPRECIATAPPRECIATAPPRECIATAPPRECIATION ION ION ION

There is always something ‘interesting’ i.e.

something special about a subject which often

escapes from our notice.

For example, multiplication table for 9 is as normal

as any other one when observed lightly, but an

interesting fact about this table do exists.

A B

9 X 1 = 0 9

9 X 2 = 1 8

9 X 3 = 2 7

9 X 4 = 3 6

9 X 5 = 4 5

9 X 6 = 5 4

9 X 7 = 6 3

9 X 8 = 7 2

9 X 9 = 8 1

9 X 10 = 9 0

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By separating the result of multiplication table into

two columns of one digit each as shown above, an

interesting pattern is exhibited. In column A, the

digits are in ascending order from 0 to 9 whereas in

column B, they are in descending order starting

from 9 to till it reaches 0.This is about an interesting

fact wrt multiplication table of 9 which needs to be

appreciated.

On the same lines an interesting as well as an

important fact about ‘human life’ does exist. Life is

thought as a word which is used to distinguish a

living and a non living being, but if understood in a

complete sense we shall conclude that it is a

fantastic gift and unexplainable feel. And this life

exists nowhere in the universe except on our planet

Earth, as on today.

Life dwells on this earth due to the presence of

favorable and suitable living conditions such as the

protective magnetic field around the planet,

presence of ozone layer, reception of right amount

of heat & light from the sun and finally the presence

of air, water & food for its survival.

The wide variety of living beings ranging from

whales to microorganisms has made this earth, their

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living habitat. We find fishes in water, birds in the

air and elephants on the land. Micro organisms are

present in all these three places.

Each living organism has evolved itself in a unique

way to lead a complete life cycle in the environment

they like to live. For example, a living being

recognized as fish is a unique creature which has

evolved itself to lead a complete life cycle under

water only. The evolutionary characteristics ranges

from development of a stream lined body for the

comfortable movement inside water as well as

development of gills to inhale the oxygen content

present in the water.

Another living being recognized as bird is also a

unique creature which has evolved itself to lead a

life on land as well as in the mid sky filled with air.

The evolutionary characteristics are modifications

of its bones which are of light weight, presence of

large air filled cavities to facilitate its respiratory

system, development of wings etc. All these

characteristics enable the creature called bird to fly

in the air without any discomfort.

You may now like to read about another important

creature which has not only adapted itself to the

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environment but has also developed the ability to

change/modify the environment to suit its

requirement by making use of the thinking power

possessed by the same. This creature has recognized

itself as human being.

Human being has not only adapted himself to lead a

complete lifecycle on the land but has also

developed abilities to spend time under water as

well as in mid air sky by making use of his/her

thinking power. Few visible physical

characteristics of human beings are as mentioned

below: A human has a head which consists of five

sensory organs namely eyes to see, nose to smell,

ears to hear, tongue to taste and skin to feel. He also

has two hands and two legs. The head, the hands

and the legs are all connected to a central body

which accommodates a blood pumping heart

system, a respiratory system, a food digestive

system and a reproduction system. These elements

of the human body are controlled by a

supercomputer called brain through a nervous

system, which helps the brain to control each and

every part of the human body. Thus the human body

system is a well organized system which helps us

leading a comfortable life on this earth.

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Upon careful observation, you will understand that

till now we had been concentrating only on the

physical uniqueness of the organisms i.e. the

physical uniqueness of fishes, birds and human

beings. Apart from this physical uniqueness, the

most important distinguishment which has not yet

been taken into consideration is the uniqueness of

thinking.

Thinking pattern of animals is different from

those of a human being and the same can be

proved by the following analysis.

A tiger doesn’t think about good and bad aspects of

killing a human being, but it surely thinks on ways

to kill him more carefully without getting hurt.

Hence, it attacks a human being when he is singular

rather than in a group. But in contrast, a human

being thinks whether it is correct or wrong to kill a

tiger and acts on the basis of result of his thinking.

Thus a tiger is killed if it is considered as a right act

else left unharmed by the human beings.

Thinking is an essential characteristic required

for true survival of the human beings on this

Earth and its importance is equal to or more than

the other needs such as air, water and food. While

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the air, water and food help in physical existence,

thinking helps in true existence.

The difference between the true existence and

physical existence can be best understood by

observing a common human being and a

mentally ill human being. Though a mentally ill

person leads a physical life same as that of a

common man in terms of breathing, drinking,

eating etc, but on the whole he is not considered

as a normal human being because of one reason

which is the absence of ability to think correctly.

The term ‘think correctly’ is used in the above

paragraph as it is not practically correct to say that a

mentally ill person doesn’t thinks. Without thinking

he cannot perform basic life activities of breathing,

drinking, eating etc. But the factor which is

responsible for him to be identified as a mentally ill

person is his inability of controlling his mind and

making use of his thinking power i.e. power to

distinguish the thoughts as either right or wrong and

act accordingly. Due to this inability, he feels no

difference in behaving like a child, scolding others

unnecessarily or doing any other wrong activities.

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The unique ability of human being to think,

develop thoughts and differentiate thoughts as

either good or bad, distinguishes human’s style

of thinking from that of other animals. As a

reader, you might have observed that while

appreciating life we came across many good aspects

about life.

When you appreciate something good around,

your mind will be tuned to observe good of other

aspects unconsciously. Hence it becomes your

obligation to help your child appreciate the good

things around; Appreciation matters...

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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----4 4 4 4

DESIRESDESIRESDESIRESDESIRES

As you keep thinking and taking good decisions,

you will be developing belief on some good

qualities like speaking truth, respecting people

around, maintaining patience in life, wishing good

for people around etc. These qualities help you in

building a character which in turn helps you in

controlling a force called “Desire”

Desire being an emotional subject can be defined as

a force which has the ability of making a human

being move towards positive direction or towards

the negative direction of life. Desire, if left

uncontrolled shall ruin the life of the possessor. On

the other hand, if the same is fully controlled then a

particular person shall reach great heights of

happiness. In short, desire can be equated to nuclear

power, an uncontrolled nuclear power is highly

destructive but when used in controlled

environment it is useful to humanity. Apart from

good character and thoughts (Please do visit my

blog http://connect4deepak.blogspot.com

to get a list of good thoughts for the day), some

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good practices help us in controlling the desire

factor and they are as follows:

• First step is to develop an ability to keep

your body under control through Yoga. In

this step, you need to respect your body by

keeping it neat and clean. You should not

indulge in any act of addiction like

smoking cigarette, drinking alcohol etc

which shall spoil your body. By spoiling

body you are spoiling a mind housed within

body. A spoilt mind shall always think

wrong to provide you with wrong

conclusions. These wrong conclusions shall

push a person to take wrong decisions and

wrong decisions will connect you to

sadness. Hence you need to worship your

body by practicing Yoga and regular

exercising.

• Once you have achieved control over body,

in the next stage you are expected to gain

control over your mind through Yoga. A

mind is as vast as an ocean which is hard to

be controlled even by wisest of wisest

human being. The only way to control

mind is to convince it about the need of

having control over the same as mentioned

below in the third step.

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• In the third step, you are expected to

provide convincing reasons to your mind

about your ability of making right use of

the same under your control. And when

you gain control over mind through your

character, a control over your desire is

possible. You will experience positive life.

People lie, steal, fight and perform all types of

wrong acts mainly because they succumb to

wrong desires.

A graphical representation of control over desire

is as follows:

Helps to control

Belief on good qualities ----------------------���� Desire

Helps to attain state of

Control over desire ----------------------------���� Positive Life

Through this chapter I would like to draw your

attention regarding the physical activeness of

your kids, never allow your kids to get addicted

to anything in life. A good behavior is linked to a

good mind and a good mind is linked to a good

body.

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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----5 5 5 5

NATURE NATURE NATURE NATURE

Often in life we feel someone standing at the

doorsteps of our mind, speaking to us and

preventing us from doing something wrong. In a

sad mood, we share the sadness with someone.

That someone has no body, has no shape and has

no fragrance. We call that someone as God,

divine force, Jesus, Allah and so on. I call it

nature.

Its story time again. Imagine you are a frustrated

husband fed up with your wife’s attitude.

Frustration reaches to such a drastic level that on

one fine day you wish to punish her by tampering

brake system of her vehicle with an intention of

seeing her injured in an accident. But on that fine

day, a situation arises wherein your wife decides to

travel by public transport and hence escapes from

your planned trap. You may feel cheated as your

plans failed all of a sudden.

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Please understand that nature is master of whole

world with access to fine information about each

and every individual who have submitted

themselves to nature’s might understanding its good

intentions. Nature has its own calculations and its

ultimate wish is to do justice to the people. Hence,

you may find it justified punishing your wife but the

nature may not agree with the same as it knows that

your wife is not eligible for such a harsh

punishment and hence she was made to skip the

vehicle on that particular day. We call it fate.

You must work in tandem with nature using your

character based thinking power to understand true

essence of leading a life on this earth.

There are some atheists who believe that there is no

God or no one is above them. Having an unseen

master is good as well as bad. It is bad because in

the name of unseen force superstitious practices

were developed by mischievous people. These

superstitious beliefs stunt the thinking ability of

people.

Good part of feel of God is that it helps human

beings remember that there is some force greater

than them and this earth is not their inherited

property to be destroyed according to their

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wishes and whims. It is strange to see though

people know that they are mortal and cannot

take even a milligram of mud along with them

after their death, still fight for materials to such

an extent that they do not hesitate to kill each

other having no mercy and devoid of feel of love

in their hearts for fellow human beings.

You as a responsible parent should introduce your

kid to the wide spectrum of people available on this

earth. From killers to philanthropists, from liars to

martyrs, from womanizers to social workers who

are working for and against good continuously.

When you can create a good kid you will be adding

a feather to the goodness of this world.

I wish to conclude this chapter with a sentence

that a perfectly learnt kid need not fear for

exams, similarly a person who is perfect with

his/her quality by heart and by soul need not fear

nature or its wrath. When any person tries to

misguide you in the name of nature, be prepared

with an answer that you are good and need not

fear anyone not even God. But do respect nature

because latter respects good souls.

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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----6 6 6 6

GREAT PEOPLGREAT PEOPLGREAT PEOPLGREAT PEOPLEEEE

Do you read about great people? Not about film/

sports star but about the people who did something

for you i.e. something good for the society. When

you read about such people please be courteous

enough to share about them with ones who interact

with you especially your kids. Every such good

person incites the good part of our soul and

generates a belief in good qualities to develop a

good character.

I wish to speak about two people who I am

interested in. First of the two is Shri. Mohandas

Karamchand Gandhiji, Father of India, a man

who helped the human race to understand

importance of peace and its usefulness when

compared to violence.

After tasting success with his new found non-

violence method against the strong opposition in

South Africa, Gandhiji returned to India with a

mission. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was a

person who practiced to walk in the path in which

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he believed irrespective of other joining him or

leaving him and gained huge following by that

unique character of hugging non-violence and truth

which others feared to do. Gandhiji was just a child

and one day the Inspector of Schools, Mr. Giles,

came to school in which Gandhiji was studying. He

read out five English words to the class and asked

students to write them down. Mohandas

Karamchand Gandhi wrote four words correctly, but

couldn’t spell the fifth word `Kettle'. Observing

Mohan's hesitation, the teacher made a sign behind

the Inspector's back indicating Mohan to copy the

word from his neighbor’s slate. But Mohan ignored

his signs and wrote only four where as the others

wrote all the five words correctly. After the

Inspector left, teacher scolded him. "I told you to

copy from your neighbor," he said angrily.

"Couldn't you even do that correctly?" Everyone

laughed. As Gandhi went home that evening, he

was not unhappy. He knew he had done the right

thing.

The most important question which can be raised at

this juncture is” Why should a boy ignore

suggestion of a teacher to copy?” The same

question can be related to another question wrt

famous Scientist Newton i.e.” Why should a

person called Newton observe an apple falling

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from a tree and discover the force of Gravity

among many hundred people?” The answer is

explained as below:

The basic concept behind both the question is about

usage of our thinking power in a useful right

direction. The question related to Gandhiji, deals

with world of thoughts (in computer language it can

be known as a software entity, whose usefulness

cannot be seen directly but can be felt). The other

question related to Newton, deals with the world of

materials (i.e. Hardware entity whose usefulness

can be seen as well as proved instantly). Newton

used his thinking power in observing the world and

finding out the reasons for happenings of this world

where as others took the happening of this world in

a casual way without recognizing and appreciating

the same.

Concentrating on the question about Gandhiji, “a

thought shall never arise unless there is a reason

for the same;” with this idea in mind let us move

further.

One boy believes that copying is wrong; to arrive at

this conclusion he has to think. He should first

believe that he has ability or liberty to decide about

right and wrong for his life. Many kids, at their age,

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would never believe to possess the liberty of

choosing, as they blindly follow instructions of their

elders bestowing full belief in them. Kids believe

that it is not their duty to think about right or wrong

at their age. They just spend their time in fulfilling

their childish desires for good clothes, chocolates,

gifts etc and find happiness in the same.

A kid, who believes in possessing the liberty of

making a choice for his life, must think deep to

arrive at a correct conclusion either by taking

reference from his/her past or by analyzing the

situation based on principles of life learnt from his

parents, teachers, relatives etc. In Gandhiji’s case, it

was his father’s suggestions which guided him to

the right path of life.

In order to arrive at a correct conclusion, you should

be true to yourself i.e. your mind should have

good/correct qualities, which can help you to take

correct decisions. With a corrupt mind you shall

always analyze the input situation in a wrong way

and provide a wrong decision as an output to later

suffer with sadness.(In computer language, a

computer can provide correct result/output for a

given input, only if it has correct software loaded in

it)

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Finally, when you have a correct decision and 100%

belief in the same, you are expected to put forth

your decision before the people without any

hesitation and defend your good decisions among

wrong ones. This again depends upon your level of

understanding the problem and ability to explain

your decision to the people without any confusion.

These many factors are linked to a person who

possesses the ability to take a good decision. A

good decision taken which is based on your good

principles shall lead your life towards true

happiness and a bad decision taken on the basis

of bad principles shall push your life into a sad

state.

With all the above features incorporated, Gandhi

used his deep thinking and righteous judging power

to take right decisions for all the problems faced in

his life. A few of his notable decisions are

• a decision to not to copy during inspection

at school ,

• a decision to write a letter divulging his

black secrets to his father as a punishment

for his sins

• a decision to fight back the injustice of the

powerful people through non violent

movements.

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Gandhiji is just a typical example among the people

who led their life purely based on good qualities.

Another person who led her life same as Gandhiji

but for different purpose is Mother Teresa. Mother

Teresa is a great soul who took each and every

decision in her life to make sure that her humane

service shall reach the needy people.

Though a lot of confusion is prevailing about her

identity of being a God blessed child or not, but it is

important to understand that:

Every person who follows God’s philosophy of

LOVE and CARE becomes God blessed and no

special miracle is required to prove the same.

Mother Teresa followed God’s philosophy of

showing LOVE and CARE to the needy people. The

words LOVE and CARE may be two simple four

letter words, but the POWER possessed by two

words is so strong that no evil thoughts can stand

before them. It is because of this LOVE and CARE

that a society actually accepts JUSTICE as a way of

life.

Yes, a wife will not flirt with other males if she

LOVES her husband’s heart more than the

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destructive body, similarly a kid will not hurt his

mother if he loves her feelings, a father will not

drink alcohol and waste his money if he CARES for

the welfare of his family and kids, a good human

will not like to deceive other humans if he has a feel

of LOVE and CARE for them. So it is actually the

absence of LOVE and CARE which diverts the

human mind to embrace wrong way of life.

Coming back to Gandhiji’s way of life, Gandhiji

through his right thinking & justifying power

introduced concept of NON VIOLENCE for

protesting against the so called powerful people.

The benefits of introducing non violence as way

of protest can be felt even to this day which

otherwise would have made this world a living

hell.

The popularity of non violence of Gandhiji can be

felt by making a note of large number of people

(Indians as well as other nationals) who supported

this thought notwithstanding harsh physical pain

which they had to bear in return. Many Indians thus

gave up their life voluntarily for the idea of non

violence to highlight the level of importance which

it deserved in this world.

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Non Violence is one of the important gifts

presented to this world and the same can be

proved by the following explanation:

Imagine, you are on an evening walk, enjoying the

beauty of greenery and happiness of the children

playing in the park. An unknown person comes and

hits you all of a sudden. Your reactions can be any

of the below:

a) If you are an impatient person your

immediate reaction would be to hit him back

without any delay. This shall be followed by him

hitting you. Both will fight till one becomes

physically weaker than other. The person who

emerges strong will have his say without any

regards to the concept of goodness and badness. By

observing this situation; you will find that there has

been fight between two physical bodies only i.e.

there was no room for any knowledge based

argument.

b) On the other hand, if you are a person with

patience having a belief in non violence, you will

first try to analyze the situation and make out

whether the violent person is a drunkard or mentally

affected. After confirming his mental fitness, you

will then ask him the reason for the hit and explain

that you have done nothing wrong to get beaten up.

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Therefore, in the case (b), a try is made from your

end for minimizing the role of body conflict and

maximizing the essence of knowledge based

conflict. Knowledge based conflicts i.e. debates,

discussions, meetings shall always conclude with

good result as only good people shall possess more

knowledge about life.

The level of your commitment to the knowledge can

be measured by observing the level of patience

maintained by you.

You may now be able to understand the amount of

commitment by Gandhiji and his followers to

knowledge based conflict.

You have heard about two good people and I

know that you will be feeling good from heart.

Such is the power of good people, you speak

about them and you will be gifted with a calm

and cool mind. Try to gift this coolness to your

kids too.

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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----7 7 7 7

TWO WORLDSTWO WORLDSTWO WORLDSTWO WORLDS

Most parents, with an intention of keeping their kids

happy, end up showing only the good part of the

world. But, when a kid is introduced to bad side of

world through others, matter gets worse. Many

times we prevent our kids from accessing some

aspects of life terming them to be not suitable for

their age. It may be about your business, your dark

habits like drinking alcohol etc. You prevent them

with good intention of keeping your kid away from

those habits.

You need to make sure about one basic idea; your

kids cannot understand your intentions but can

understand your words.

They can only see the things before their eyes and

learn the same. So, when you prevent your kids

from doing something by force, an area of interest

gets created for your kids. They want to discover it.

Nature has given much energy to kids and your kids

know that. Hence, when they insist on something,

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they want it to be done; it may be for chocolates or

gifts etc. With this natural power, when kids decide

to discover something, they will not stop till it is

done which is very dangerous.

In the way to discovery, child may end up losing

his/her precious point of view to develop wrong

ideas in mind. But an intelligent and good kid

will return as a prodigal son with much more

precious knowledge about life.

A better way to deal with this kind of problem is

to gain your child’s confidence, which is possible

when you speak to your kid with a heart of

surrender.

You introduce your kid to hazardous world with

his/her hands tightly gripped within your hand. You

will be posed with many uncomfortable questions

about life which you had been turning away and

bluffing about to others when questioned about the

same.

The specialty about kids is that you cannot bluff to

them even if you wish to do so because you love

them very much and don’t wish to fool them.

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Another advantage of you being with them in the

bad world is that for any wrong happenings, kids

can be confident of your support behind and

hence will not take any decisions in haste. A kid’s

world may be small; you need to be careful that

a small seed is the one which grows into a big

tree. It is better to deal with a seed than waiting

the problem to be developed into a size of a tree.

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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----8 8 8 8

UNIQUE KIDSUNIQUE KIDSUNIQUE KIDSUNIQUE KIDS

I hope to have covered every important thoughtful

process involved in bringing up your kid with a

healthy mind. We as grownups often fret and fume

about reduction in importance to human values such

as love, respect, dignity etc. But these words have

value unto themselves, irrespective of recognition

provided by us.

It is up to us as grownups to recheck or restore

values by describing about its importance to the

younger generation. While doing so, be careful

that you do not enforce these ideals on to them.

Anything which is given with love passes the test

of time, the thing which is fed with fear and

torture will perish soon.

Every child’s heart is like a plant which should be

grown up carefully with proper soil, ventilation and

water. Most important requirement is patience. You

cannot expect a seed to sprout immediately; it takes

time, and you should have a tab on that aspect too.

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You may get best clothes for your kids, get a best

house or join them to best school but at the end of

the day your kid expects best reason for leading a

life on this earth and best affection from you as

parents. Be ready to fulfill their thirst for love and

care.

Having taken so much care about your kid, I thank

you for your patience and interest shown in

knowing about a kid as well as yourself too.

Regardless of these many cares and precautions,

there are possibilities that your kid might not turn

up as expected by you. The facts as written by me

are generalized for all the kids, but you need to

know that not all flowers are same and each one is

unique as well as different. Similarly not all the kids

are same, with this generalized idea about kids, try

to discover the uniqueness of your kids too. Alter

your approach towards your kids in dealing

according to their uniqueness with them with love

and care as primary link between you and your kid.

Be aware about physical diseases too like dyslexia

etc.

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Never ever commit a mistake of imposing the

same rules and regulation as it was imposed on

you by your parents when you were young.

There is a change in culture, change in requirement,

and change in ambitions. Hence there arises a need

for change in your approach with respect to taking

care of your kid. Apply little mind and give proper

reasons for your kid. He/she, with access to modern

information will surely understand the message in

your point. Have a belief in your kid’s intelligent

understanding power. Lastly, according to me every

human being is governed by three rules of nature

and they are as below:

i) First rule: When a human being is born in this

world, he/she is exposed to education of both

good and bad qualities of this world.

ii) Second rule: After allowing him/her to gain

sufficient amount of knowledge about life,

human being is made to face a problem. In order

to solve the problem, he needs to support either

good qualities or bad qualities of this world.

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iii) Third rule: Human being shall be suitably

rewarded by nature, based on his/her decision to

support either good quality or bad quality.

Be on the good side of

world and help your

child to join the same, a

humble request by me.

Love you allLove you allLove you allLove you all

---- B.Deepak KumarB.Deepak KumarB.Deepak KumarB.Deepak Kumar