HitcHin boys’ scHool

the chroniclethe Hitchin boys’ school newspaper spring term 2015

Editors: Miss brenham, Alex Hawkins, nathan May, Peter saville.

WritErs: Aunty Agnes, Miss brenham, lewis Gibbs, William Harrop, Joshua Hastings, Alex Hawkins, Michael Johnson, Michael longstaff, nathan May,

Henry McElroy, sam McKenzie, daniel Mountney, stepan Mysko von schultze, Peter saville, Archie summerhayes, William Webb.

Hitchin boys’ school

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EditorialFor the school community it is the end of term. As we languidly slip into the lackadaisical grasp of yet another holiday many will be relieved. Many will also be terrified by the swiftly approaching exams. But for the editorial team of The Chronicle this issue marks our last full edition as a team. For those of us involved since 2009 it marks the end of an extraordinarily long chapter, for others this encompasses a comparatively shorter corpus of work. Yet the sense of cooperation fostered amongst the editorial team is something to be cherished. Our celebration follows in the next 20 or so pages and serves as the most fitting testament to the quality of the team gathered around the warmth of the literary brazier that The Chronicle has become.

Ahead of you are articles and reviews from all aspects of school life reflecting the frantic term which has just passed us by. The production of the Hot Mikado is especially of note in maintaining the high standard and production values that we at HBS have come to expect of our theatre. Those of a creative disposition have seemingly been working non-stop as the music competition provided yet another opportunity for them to excel. Elsewhere our famed crossword and ‘Guess the Teacher’ column return alongside interviews from the unsung heroes of school life.

As the school languidly slips past us so we slip past The Chronicle into an ethereal haze of revision and the real world. But do not forget us, our ghosts will still haunt you from The Chronicle’s archives (alongside the staff baby photos and impossible crosswords).

Peter Saville

W. J. C. Allen (Corporal)C. H. Baylis, Herts YeomanryG. H. Baylis, Hon. Artillery Co.R. R. S BerrettP. A. Bobby (Corporal), Royal Horse GuardsH. J. Bowman (Sec. Lieutenant), Middlesex Regt.H. Bowman, Bugler, Royal FusiliersJ. Briggs (Lce.-Corporal), Oxon & Bucks Light InfantryO. G. Brown, Oxon &Bucks Light InfantryS. J. P Bullen, 21st LancersW. M. Byram, Army Ordinance Corps, Expeditionary Force.F. W. Cannon (Corporal), Royal Engineers (Signallers)S. L. Cannon, Beds YeomanryC. I. Carryer. “C. F. Coxall, Royal Horse ArtilleryT. E. Cross, 19th Reserve Batt. C. of London Regt.H. T. Cubbon (sec. Lieutenant) R.A.M.CG. M. Curry, Royal Garrison Artillery F. J. Dodd, Civil Service RiflesA. C. Edwards, Beds YeomanryT. W. Ellis, 9th Service Batt. Beds Regt.H. W. File, Hon. Artillery Co.L. W. Flint, 1st Herts Yeomanry (Egypt)F. O. Foster, Westminster Dragoons.E. J. Garratt, Royal EngineersF. W. N. Goddard, Royal FusiliersP .H. T. Goddard, 2nd HertsL. J. Godfrey, Queen’s Own Rifles.

J. W. Goldsmith, Royal Veterinary Corps.G. O. Grimbly, 4th Leicester Regt. F. J. W Gurney (Corporal), Beds YeomanryO. H. Halcrow, Artists’ Rifles.O. D. D. Hall (sec. Lieutenant), 1st Denbighshire (Hussars) YeomanryL. W. Hitchcock, Hon. Artillery Co. (at the front)A. K. Horn.A. H. Horsfield (sec. Lieutenant), East Anglican Royal Field Artillery.F. H. HowellC. G. Hurry, 2nd Herts YeomanryJ. V. Jacklin (sec. Lieutenant), 10th Essex Regt. (A Coy.)R. Kelley (Sec. Lieutenant), 3rd BordersP. Lee, Beds YeomanryD. A. Leete (Corporal), 6th Beds Battn.F. E. Leete, Rifleman, Queen Victoria Rifles.S. H. Leete (Lce.-Corporal), 6th Beds.J. V. Lines, Royal EngineersC. M. MacGorrery, Artists’ RiflesJ. Marionnaud, 41 Batterie de ’95, 69 Division de Reserve, French ArmyE. L. Moore (First Lieutenant), Leicester Regt.H. J. Nicholls, Beds Yeomanry.J. N. Newbery, 1st Herts Reserve Regt.F. P. R. Perrin (Sergeant, 107th Reg. d’Infanterie, French ArmyJ. C. Perrott, 10th Batt. TerritorialsC. G. Prudent, Grenadier GuardsC. M. Ritch, 2nd Herts Yeomanry

M. Robinson, Civil Service RiflesF. Rodway, Hon Artillery Company,H. W. W. Russell, Hon. Artillery Co.W. Sale, Transport Service.A. G. Spurr Middlesex Regt.P.W. Spurr, Public School Corps.W. G. Spurr, Kitchener’s New Army.A. B. Sharp, Beds TerritorialsD. W. Stacey.H. H. Theobalds, Hon. Artillery Co. J. B, M. Walch, Artists’ Rifles, 28th C. of LondonW. H. Warren, Sportsman’s Battalion.A. E. Watts, Middlesex Regt.C. G. Welsh (Sec. Lieutenant) Royal Horse ArtilleryW. L. Welsh (Sec. Lieutenant), Royal Naval Flying CorpsJ. T. White, Hon. Artillery Co.R. H. Wigfall (sec. Lieutenant), Queens Own (India)A. H. Willats, Public School CorpsH. L. Willats (First Lieutenant), East Yorks Regt.G. J. Willmott, NorfolksH. S. Willmott, BedfordsJ. W. L. Windridge, Hon. Artillery Co.W. B. Witts, Army Service Corps,C. A. Woods (Corporal), S. African Rifles.J. W. Woods (Corporal), ColdstreamsA. H. Wright (Corporal), Herts TerritorialsE. L. WrightR. H. O. Wright (Sergeant), Herts TerritorialsF. N. Wright (Captain)

Hitchin Boys’ School Roll of Honour(Spring 1915)

March 2015 sees the centenary of the first Hitchin Boys’ student fatality of the First World War. It is important to remember after the very public commemorations of 2014 that the next four years see the centenaries of some of the bloodiest and hardest fought encounters in human history. The Chronicle therefore has included a reprinted list from the spring 1915 edition of all the boys known to have volunteered for service by that date.

Hitchin boys’ school

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Backstage at Hot Mikado

After the summer holidays concluded, September heralded the start of rehearsals. Such a dance heavy show brought new challenges and unfortunately, as Mrs Gale was to begin maternity leave in the few weeks before the performance, we knew this year would be tough. Nevertheless, with Ms Hetherington taking over the role of director, Miss Anderson helping enormously as assistant director and many weeks of demanding rehearsals, we had conquered the first act by Christmas. I don’t think anyone would deny that the energy and liveliness of Hot Mikado had so far made the production incredibly enjoyable. Coupled with incredible, uplifting music and sharp, witty dialogue, we were all excited to tackle the second half of the show.

Act Two did not disappoint. There was undeniably slightly more tension in the air since time had crept rapidly by (as it always does) and New Year herald the frightening realisation that opening night was just 6 weeks away. Regardless, rehearsals remained incredibly enjoyable and before we knew it, the weekend rehearsals had approached.

As would be expected with just two weeks to go, the six hour rehearsal sessions were somewhat stressful. Nevertheless by the second weekend the set had been erected and I don’t think anyone could possibly deny that it was absolutely spellbinding. A central pagoda-style archway entrance and a background bedecked with enormous and mesmerising fans was just the beginning. The hall was adorned with Oriental lanterns and a spectacular (and enormous) origami dragon, all accentuated by a plethora of fairy lights. The presence of such a magnificent set, in addition to the arrival of our equally flamboyant costumes, made everything feel more real and the presence of the band on the final Sunday gave us the opportunity to practise every song with the accompanying music, led by Mrs Strachan’s excellent conducting.

Despite a few minor hitches, the weekend rehearsals concluded; before we knew it, so had Monday afternoon’s and Tuesday’s dress run was upon

us. There is always something uniquely nerve wracking about performing in front of fellow classmates, but in spite of the nerves that accompanied our initial performance, virtually everything went as planned and I believe it gave us the final boost of confidence for the first show.

Nevertheless, Wednesday also heralded a fresh wave of nerves, for there is nothing quite like opening night. After arriving that evening, donning our vibrant zoot suits (which ultimately synonymised the energetic musical itself) and warming up our vocal chords, it wasn’t long before we were standing backstage, listening intently to the audience’s animated silence and waiting for the overture to begin. I don’t think anybody could deny that the accompanying sense of exhilaration was truly invigorating.

And so it began. The curtains parted, the chorus paraded onto the stage and dancing commenced (accentuated by an almost audible gasp at the magnificence of the set). From protagonist Nanki-Poo’s interaction in ‘A Wand’ring Minstrel I’ to the superlatively energetic ‘Finale Act One’ the audience remained both literally and metaphorically engaged. The second act received similarly positive appreciation as did the following night.

Given that each night seemed to surmount the previous, it is unsurprising that all cast and crew were exhausted by the time Friday’s performance sadly concluded. Not only did Friday’s curtain call signify the end of one of the most enjoyable shows I have ever been a part of, but it was also the final show for many cherished members of the cast, including Will Murray, who portrayed Lord High Executioner ‘Ko-Ko’ magnificently and Andy Ridgway who provided an equally brilliant performance as disguised heir to the throne of Japan, ‘Nanki Poo’. I would like to thank everybody involved for making Hot Mikado such a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

Stepan Mysko von Schultze

When, in the summer of 2014, I found out the school play this year was to be Hot Mikado, a jazz adaptation of Gilbert and Sullivan’s original Mikado, I confess I was not familiar with it. Nevertheless, after returning home and listening to the musical’s songs, I was incredibly impressed. The music is simply fantastic. It became clear that this musical would be rather unlike anything we had attempted before. An energetic, vivacious, all-out jazz romp lay ahead. Reviewing some clips on YouTube also proved that this would also be the “danciest” show we had ever attempted. The project was certainly ambitious, but after receiving a main role for the first time, I was undoubtedly the most excited I had ever been about the five month journey upon which we were about to embark.

In February, whilst the world outside was entrenched in deepest winter, the HBS Hall was transformed into an Eastern wonder of colour, spice and sound for this year’s whole school production of Hot Mikado.

In front of a beautiful set, expertly created by Miss. Rainbow, a cast of 21 boys of various ages shimmied, sashayed and sung their way to a dramatic triumph. The constraints of age, gender and nationality were thrown to the way-side with some Year 8 boys entirely convincing us that they were in fact grown Japanese women.

The story is one of triumph over adversity, romance and a satire to boot. Hot Mikado had the audience transfixed and often in stitches. The choreography, acting and singing coupled with the excellent Japanese fare served and cooked by the Parents’ Association for the interval made a ticket to the Hot Mikado the hottest ticket in town.

Mrs. Gale and Mrs. Hetherington embarked on the project together with Mrs. Strachan many months ago and the night in February saw the fruition of some very very hard work. When Mrs. Gale left for maternity leave Miss. Anderson wholeheartedly threw herself into the fray.

The production held particular significance for several Year 13s- Andy Ridgway, Will Murray, Will Nobel, Dom Stevens, Charley Hewitt and Andrew Jones who, after years of dedication and commitment to music and drama in the school, are taking their talent onto some lucky universities.

A massive congratulations and thanks to both the cast and crew for creating such a memorable evening.

Miss Brenham

HOT MIKADO SPICES UP HBS

Hitchin boys’ school

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Hitchin Boys’ is an idyllic place to work and learn for a reason other than its teaching prowess and IT facilities: its extensive grounds.

These traditionally look best when not strewn with yesterday’s pot noodle or Lucozade bottle. The job of Mr. Osborne is therefore key to the continuing pleasure we all derive from having somewhere clean and attractive to work and play.

Many thanks must go to Mr Osborne and all the grounds maintenance staff for their hard working dedication (and especially for giving up their lunch break to grant this interview).

How long have you been working at the school?It must be two or three years now, generally picking litter up from the site.

Now for an unfairly hard question, how much litter do you think you’ve picked?A lot. I couldn’t tell you, usually about three or four bags a day [each one the size of a year seven].

What’s the best thing about your job?It’s great to be outside, especially on a day like this (imagine an hazy spring morning with blue azure skies and fresh crisp air) – not so much in the winter though! Nobody bothers you really and it’s a great opportunity.

I just like the job, the kids are fine. Well the majority of them anyway.

If you had a message for all those litter bugs, what would it be?[A bout of I’ve-been-wanting-to-say-this-for-a-long-while laughter] Please help me by putting some of the rubbish in the bins!

Peter Saville

Mr OsborneUnsung Heroes of HBS:

Grounds Maintenance

Music CompetitionOn Wednesday the 11th and Thursday the 12th march, the Hitchin Boys’ School annual music competition started with a bang. Each year there are at least 100 students entering with a wide variety of musical talents.

This great pool of talent created many standout moments, Alex Diop brought an amazing start to proceedings with his ‘I Wish I Knew How’ on Piano. The ‘Mc Busted Medley’ was performed by Andrew Jones, Will Murray, Freddie Robertson and Lewis Lehrfreund and provided some great nostalgia for the older members of the audience. Other more traditional forms were also exhibited such as Charles Hewitt’s piano solo in the grade 7-8 category of ‘Nocturne’ but with the class eventually won by Andrew Jones.

The final category was called “Other” and for good reason too. The first piece was by Alex Hawkins (a.k.a Boris) playing the bagpipes which was utterly remarkable. The second was Tim Cranfield and Andrew Jones who did a very strange piece of music which could not be called anything but ‘interesting’ although strangely humorous. After this amusing episode we saw the bagpipes return for one final blast in his final music competition. The show started with a bang and it certainly ended with one when the 6th formers and Staff of the Music Department all chose an instrument that they could not play and did their own rendition of ‘Also Sprach

Zarathustra’ which received the lowest ever score in the music competition. A total of 2 points.

Overall the music competition was a great success and there were many overall winners. However there can only be one winner of each category. The winner of the brass cup was Tim Cranfield. The winner of the strings group was Charles Hewitt. The winner of the woodwind group was Simeon May. The winner of the Piano

category was Andrew Jones. The winner of the singing category was Will Murray. The winner of the guitar was Xander O’Connor. The winner of the junior group was Tommy Corteen and the overall winner was Will Murray. These winners performed in The Spring Music Concert. A final very well done to everyone who played.

Henry McElroy

Hitchin boys’ school

As the middle of March arrives in the calendar, the general student response is to let out a desperate sigh. The season of exams, impending results, mocks, and general increased workload is usually a bleak time of year for everyone sitting their A-Levels. Fortunately our plea was acknowledged by Richard Curtis and Lenny Henry all the way back in 1985, and subsequently they created a subtle mid-March pick-me-up, appropriately named Comic Relief. Now as we all know, the charity actually has much wider goals than simply to offer a joke or two, with Comic Relief-funded projects located all over the World, from sub-Saharan Africa to the council estates of London.

The fundraising effort began in earnest on the 2nd March when prefects began the arduous task of badgering you to pay up for the looming non-uniform day on the 13th. This is also the first year that we have been able to retail red noses within school. Their sale seemed to be well received and I’m sure that they will be in popular demand in 2017 when Comic Relief returns.

Combining the hilarity of Comic Relief with the whimsical nature of the staff music category, this year saw the advent of Staff Karaoke! This

event took place on Wednesday lunchtime with staff entertaining a packed audience. While Mr Howie’s rendition of ‘Mack the Knife’ impressed the crowd, it was the P.E department and Mr Kelley who really stole the show with their ‘unusual’ rendition of ‘Islands in the stream. A big thank you should go to all of those teachers who made the event so memorable and entertaining.

Friday the 13th saw the opportunity for students to do away with the constraints of their timetable for one hour of the day in favour of participating in a series of exciting activities including an assault course, 5-a-side tournament or the “Turbo Trainer Challenge”. The also had the chance to visit the “Comic Lounge” if none of the others took their fancy. The 5-a-side tournament proved most popular, raising an average of around £50 an hour.

Friday lunchtime also saw the inaugural “Teacher Games”. Mr. Shergold, Miss. Oliva, Mr. Howie, Mrs. Johnson, Dr. Paterson, Mrs. Maddocks, Mrs Freeman, and Ms. Del Rio were all roped in to participating thanks to the sponsorship money raised. The event took place in 5 rounds, with the first being celebrity charades. This produced some interesting interpretations of celebrity stereotypes, however appeared to be well received by the crowd. The red and blue teams competed against each other in a further 4 events including

‘The Carrot Challenge’, ‘The Makeover Challenge’, ‘Just a Minute’ and ‘The Chubby Bunny Challenge’. Eventually the blue team came out victorious, captained by Mr Shergold (much to Miss Oliva’s disappointment). The Charities Committee would like to thank all of the teachers who took part.

The culmination of our Comic Relief fundraising effort saw the talented Music Department venture into the town centre to perform and entertain the public, with a few less talented ones given the unenviable job of bucket-shaking. Breaking with tradition, the weather was particularly generous and the acts in the town square attracted a healthy crowd with the buckets slowly starting to fill. From bands and instrumentals to the circus stylings of Mr McDonough and Matthew Maylin, a variety of skills were on show to the Hitchin public. The event was crowned off with two fantastic performances from the music competition. ‘Uptown Funk’ and a very Scottish ‘We Will Rock You’; it really did go out with a bang (or at least a very loud noise).

I can safely say that all of the performances were appreciated. Overall, it was a great week and an admirable effort to raise money for a valuable charity. HBS, you’ve done well.

Alex Hawkins

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Hitchin boys’ school

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Expatiations: Political Dystopia, Part 1Everybody complains about society: everybody criticises the welfare system, that it’s broken; everybody protests about the economy, that it’s in tatters or in the toilet; everybody whines about politicians, that they’re corrupt. Society is perhaps the easiest subject to talk about because everyone has an opinion. It is also perhaps the hardest, as it is so complicated. It is so easy to disparage and berate everything we don’t like about the country in which we live, but is there a utopia? Is there a perfect system we have yet to discover? Or are we all doomed no matter what?

Merely as a foreword, I have decided that each political system I shall be evaluating will be measured against the criteria of how well it cares for its citizens, including their happiness, education and health, as well as its stability. To start, almost any policy or initiative implemented by the government is to help the country to run a bit more smoothly but I think we can all extrapolate that running the country is just a means to an end. Running the country really means caring for the citizens. The well-being and happiness of the civilians is without question the job of any government. Legislators make laws to create a pleasant and prosperous state; arbitrators enforce the justice and keep order, and the administrators keep law and order within the government. All of this is to help to care for the masses.

Next, stability is an important attribute of anything: to use an analogy, a table may be made from the toughest, most durable materials; it may be beautifully decorated with elaborate and elegant designs; it may be spacious and ergonomically effective; however, it is entirely useless if it falls down the minute you place anything on it. It requires stability. Thus a city not only needs to sustain the first criterion; it must also sustain itself.

Firstly, authoritarianism disallows the people to have power or representation and is characterised by absolute or blind obedience to authority, as against individual freedom and related to the expectation of unquestioning obedience. From the nightmares of 1984

to the real life, not too distant memories of Stalinist Russia and the modern atrocities of North Korea, this political system is hated and feared by many, due to its violation of all ethics in regards to human rights, decency and freedom, so it was never going to pass the test of satisfying its citizen’s needs. It is the very worst political system and almost always associated with the term ‘problem state’. However, it is also impossible to sustain an authoritarian state, as the people would inevitably revolt or, failing that, another nation would free the peoples.

Anarchism might be considered the opposite of authoritarianism: anarchism is defined by its anti-statism and its support of a stateless, self-governed system. As appealing as this might be, especially to rebellious teenagers, this quickly loses its charm when examined. The attraction comes from a world without oppression: no government means no corruption, no unfair wages, no arbitrary rules to keep us in line, no man to keep us down. However, it also means no order, no police and no protection. It becomes very hard to receive justice. When your family is threatened by a gang, there is nothing you can do as long as they can physically beat you. As much as people may complain, order is good.

Communism is one of the most left-wing political views, second perhaps only to anarchism: in a communist state, the means of production and industry is controlled by the state and no currency or class systems exist. On the face of it, communism seems like a beautiful idea: everyone working together, nobody getting more than deserve, helping the weak and the injured for a better society. In fact, the earliest forms of civilisation, during the Bronze or Iron Age, can be thought of as communist: small communities working together towards the common goal of survival. Unfortunately, much to my genuine dismay, there are several flaws to communism.

In a modern environment and with much larger communities, currency is important. Industry is incredibly important to develop and expand society as it grows. However, certain jobs are more dangerous than others:

they involve inhaling toxic fumes, working with sharp or powerful machinery or require specialist skills. Naturally, people tend to avoid these jobs. In turn, the employer must offer an incentive to attract new workers. Now he or she can’t offer a different incentive for every worker depending on what they want: that is impractical; he needs to offer a reward that can be used by everyone, something that has no value in or of itself but represents value. Thus we get what we call currency, something that has no inherent value but can be traded for things of actual value.

As well as this, communism does not value creativity: the average person is not exemplary at anything. The perfect job for such a person is on the assembly line. But regardless of the governments under which we live, we all have different aspirations. Some people are perfectly happy sweeping floors, but most of us, understandably, want more out of life, not only money, but fame, glory and a sense of accomplishment. All of these require at least some creative thought. You may want to be a poet or a painter, but these jobs certainly don’t pay the bills—and Communism views them as unnecessary and ludicrous. All that matters is building a super-powerful nation—and one of the first obstacles that must be removed is what Thomas Jefferson called “the pursuit of happiness.”

Finally, a Communist state will make up for its inefficient economy by doing whatever is necessary to produce crops and water. In the 1960s, the Soviet Communist regime diverted two important rivers for irrigation. The Aral Sea, which those rivers fed, has now shrunk to as little as ten percent of its original size. It used to be the fourth largest lake in the world. The lesson: rather than letting the efficiency of capitalism into its economic model, the Soviet government chose to extract everything it could from the environment—without caring one bit about the health of that environment.

So far, no political systems stand out as perfect. The rest of this expatiation, including its conclusion, will be continued in the next edition of The Chronicle.

Will Webb

Hitchin boys’ school

Hitchin Town FC and the campaign to

“Save Top Field”

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To many of you who have never researched or followed Hitchin Town Football Club they may appear to have never achieved anything of great recognition whilst constantly struggling in the lower leagues of English football. This, however, could not be further from the truth.

Hitchin Town Football Club played a key role in the emergence of football as this country’s most popular sport. Formed in 1865, the club competed in the inaugural FA Cup in 1871/72. Unfortunately for Hitchin they were only able to reach the quarterfinals, losing to eventual runners up, The Royal Engineers. Hitchin still play on Top Field- the pitch they lost this match on.

However, disaster struck as the club ran into financial problems followed by a devastating stadium fire, causing the club to fold in 1911. All of the early hard work and successes had vanished in the blink of an eye with the club never being able to recapture their former glory. Hitchin did manage to reform in 1928 but they had to start right from the bottom of English football leading to struggles in the semi professional leagues, a struggle that continues to this very day.

Despite moments of promise the club has never been able to gain momentum in their push towards the professional leagues, mainly due to financial issues causing a number of promotions to be immediately followed by relegation. These on pitch problem however have recently been paled into insignificance as the club faces its biggest fight yet. A fight to save their identity, a fight to save their history, a fight which they are losing.

Top Field is under serious threat. In 2012, the ground which was registered as common land allowing the club to use it to stage their home games was deregistered with the intention being that it would be sold. This meant Hitchin Town Football Club, an already cash strapped outfit, would have no home ground as they could not afford to buy the land especially considering the competition from a number of major supermarket chains. Hitchin residents spoke out in outrage at this action but support was limited initially. A growing sense of anger culminated in a march through the town protesting against the sale of Top Field. It consisted of around 1,300 people including well renowned Sky Sports reporter and Hitchin resident Guillem Balague as well as local council members who are against the move. Since the march, the club has noted a rise in match day attendance as the unrest continues to grow, but they still need more support.

So what can you do? Despite the recent increase in attendances the club still needs more money from gate receipts. At a price of just £2 for under 16’s and £6 for students, the value for money is incredible. Although the quality of football may not be as high as professional teams the passion and determination of players and fans alike fighting for the clubs identity is truly captivating and awe inspiring. At a club with a local fan base you also feel your voice is heard regarding many issues, unlike with most professional teams. This is especially the case considering the club’s current fight for survival. The club is also running numerous fundraising events during 2015 which you can keep up to date with at www.hitchintownfc.co.uk or by liking the Save Top Field Campaign page on Facebook.

Dan Mountney

Hitchin boys’ school

Atrocities committed by the Ottomans towards the Armenians can be traced back to 1894, when 300,000 Armenians were slaughtered in the ‘Hamidian Massacres’ in response to Armenian protests in Constantinople (Istanbul). After a brief period of placidity, further massacres ensued following the aftermath of the ‘Young Turk’ revolution of 1908. It is estimated that 30,000 Armenian men, women and children were killed in the onslaught. The reason behind the Ottoman’s hatred of the Armenians can be pinned to religious reasons. The Ottomans had long since regarded the Armenians as being a bad ‘Christian influence’ on the Muslim dominant country.

The above events, I’m afraid to inform you, were merely milestones leading up to what transpired during the outbreak of the First World War. On November 2nd 1914, the Ottoman Empire entered the war on the side of the Central Powers and proceeded to fight in such campaigns as Gallipoli (1915), the Middle Eastern campaign and the Caucasus Campaigns (1915-1918) in Southern Russia. It was, however, the Caucasus Campaigns which drove the Ottoman Empire over the edge into fully fledged genocide. Upon the declaration of war, the Ottomans mobilised a number of divisions consisting of Armenians bordering on Russia. These divisions were thrown into the fray of battle against the Russians with minimal training, insufficient supplies and a shortage of weaponry. Overall in the campaign, the Ottoman forces were obliterated by the superior quality and quantity of Russian troops. The leader of the Ottoman Caucasus force, Enver Pasha, blamed the defeat on the Armenians, despite them fighting with distinction.

The defeat led to Pasha ordering the demobilisation of all Ottoman Armenian forces to form unarmed ‘labour battalions’. The members of these battalions were subjected to horrific abuse including irrational executions by Ottoman soldiers. Events really took a turn for the worst in April 1915 in the Armenian dominant city of Vans. After the city refused to supply the Ottomans with 4,000 conscripts for the army (all of whom were to be executed as it turned out) the Ottomans lay siege to the city. The Armenian defenders (1,500 able bodied men supplied with 300 rifles and 1000 antiquated pistols) were protecting 30,000 residents and 15,000 refugees. The siege carried on for weeks until the defenders were rescued by the Russians.

For the Ottomans, this was the last straw. The Armenians were seen to have ‘captured’ the city and held it for the Russians. Paranoia regarding the loyalties of Armenians bubbled up into a surging wave in late April of 1915. The Ottoman government authorised the mass and forceful deportations of thousands of Armenians, all of whom had their possessions seized and burned in front of them. Many of the soon to be deported Armenians were slaughtered by vengeful soldiers.

The Armenians, much like the Jews to the Nazis, were a ‘problem’ to the Ottoman government – a ‘problem’ with an all too obvious and horrific solution: extermination.

Killings of a large and deliberate scale were first initiated in August 1915, when Armenians were marched out of a Syrian village into the desert. This march was later referred to as a death march. Many of the thousands of participants were shot, and more still were left to die of a combination of starvation and dehydration.

Ottoman murdering went a step further in late 1915, when the government authorised the utilisation of ‘extermination camps’. Overall, 25 camps were set up for the sole purpose of eliminating Armenians who had staved off deportation. These camps were located within close proximity of each other in what is now the Turkish border with Iraq and Syria. Armenian corpses were disposed of in mass graves which remain buried under Turkish soil to this day.

The methods by which the Ottomans disposed of their Armenian captives are as shocking as they are disturbing. Methods ranged from mass burnings (in one such incident some 5,000 Armenians were reported to have been burned to death) to drownings, and even methods which almost exactly resemble those used in Auschwitz, such as poison gas, which was used to kill Armenian children in two school buildings. Morphine overdoses and even Typhoid inoculations were other more obscure methods of murder.

Overall it is estimated that between 800,000 and 1.5 million Armenians and other minorities were murdered in the period of 1914-1918 alone. Trials were held after the Ottomans were defeated by the Allies in 1918, and whilst some leaders who had affiliations with the massacres and inoculations were exiled to Malta, very little justice was served. The crimes that were committed by the Ottomans were overshadowed by the larger scale horrors of Great War and, as the ashes of Europe began to settle, the Armenian genocide faded into the mist of history.

William Harrop

The Forgotten AtrocityWhen you think of the country of Turkey, what springs to mind? A country that lies in both Europe and Asia? Its ambiguous name which also correlates with the bird typically devoured at Christmas? Genocide? Yes, much to your assumed confusion, you read that correctly. However, it is worth noting that the mentioned crimes were committed in a time when Turkey went by the illustrious name of the “Ottoman Empire” and was a different place to the country it is today.

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One of the most celebrated scientists of our generation, Professor Stephen Hawking has defied all the odds both scientifically and personally throughout his life. One would expect a film about his struggle with Motor Neurone disease to have been released before now, at last however the 2015 film. The Theory of Everything tells his heart-breaking and emotional story. Or does it?

Having been to see the film with my family on a rather bitter Saturday afternoon, both my Dad and I felt there had been something missing from the film we had just watched. I think perhaps we had misinterpreted the premise of the film; however I honestly feel that it did not live up to expectations.

The Theory of Everything centres on a 30 year segment of Stephen Hawking’s life from his time at Cambridge to the publishing of his 10 million copy selling book A Brief History of Time. Then again however it could very well be about his marriage with Jane Hawking. At first the film does indeed seem to focus on Hawking’s struggle with Motor Neurone disease, Eddie Redmayne’s acting here is spectacular giving a truly moving performance that portrays Hawking’s swift decline into paraplegia. Regrettably the story begins to drift away from the premise many inferred from the trailer released last year, Hawking’s wife’s struggle becomes the focus for the rest of the movie. Although Felicity Jones gives a good performance here the material really lets her down. I generally found the character unlikeable and selfish; this really doesn’t convey Jane Hawking’s real life personal sacrifices to look after Hawking throughout their marriage. As a character she seems to be in a constant state of frustration with Hawking, especially in the final third of the film.

I was so surprised by the direction the film took after Stephen becomes paralysed until I noticed in the end credits that the film is actually based on Jane Hawking’s novel Travelling to Infinity: My Life With Stephen. This fact was as far as I am aware omitted from all of the promotional material for the movie.

A lot of credit must be given to the cast, Eddie Redmayne IS Stephen Hawking! I started to believe he was the man in person by the end of the movie; Felicity Jones also puts in a good turn as Jane Hawking despite, as I have already mentioned, some poor dialogue. Another actor who stood out for me was Harry Lloyd (Doctor Who, Jane Eyre, The Iron Lady) as Stephen’s roommate Brian. His reaction to Stephen’s illness is highly believable.

Despite the misjudged premise, I found the film reasonably enjoyable. Overall, The Theory of Everything is a highly engaging film that is sadly let down by wasting its premise by being a little too romantic in nature.

Lewis Gibbs

The Theory of Everything-A Review

ACROSS:1. Child of the road crosser (5)3. Harry’s jugs are on fire (7)5. Saint paint (5)8. A very cold photograph (8)10. The confused DEER was WARNed

about the traveller (8)

DOWN:2. Mercury said we are them (9)4. Bovine Fiesta (6)6. The iron explorer (6)7. Lying LOW after ‘A’ (4)9. Spades fell in the river (7)

Stepan Mysko von Schultze

Hitchin boys’ school

The Chronicle Crossword

- 9 -

As a civilised populace, our laws are intended to regulate the behaviour of the people. Generally, the word ‘law’ is accompanied by a gravitas given that they usually encompass the moral boundaries which society agrees we must not cross. Nevertheless, perhaps because these moral boundaries are subjective to each society, we sometimes find laws more ludicrous than the fact that Isuzu legitimately named one of their trucks the “Light Dump” (emitting the word truck was a mistake).

These laws seem entirely futile given that they’d never be enforced by any sane police force and never be viewed with sincerity by any reasonable court of law. Some of these laws have now been abolished but the fact that they existed so recently (or still do) is simply ludicrous...

WEARING A BULLETPROOF VEST WHILST MURDERING SOMEONE-In New Jersey, apparently the threat of life imprisonment is not enough to discourage murder. In order to provide even more discouragement the American state decided to prevent the wearing of any “bullet resistant body armour intended to provide ballistic resistance” whilst killing your fellow man. Given that a murderer is willing to break such serious crime in the first place, this seems an unlikely deterrent. It’s like trying rope off the gateway to Hell. Yes, it might provide a little extra deterrence, but let’s be honest you’d hope the punishment at the end of it would be enough.

CARRYING FOOD OR DRINK NEAR ROMAN LANDMARKS-This law, though initially created with good intentions, has been carried out in a rather ridiculous way. In the city of Rome, you can genuinely be fined up to the equivalent of £420 for simply approaching a landmark whilst holding a tub of gelato. Presumably, law enforcement

simply became fed up with tourists spilling their Lucozade all over the Spanish Steps. It inevitably seemed like a good idea on paper, but in reality is ridiculous. People can be fined the equivalent of 156 Big Macs just for approaching the Coliseum whilst eating one.

STANDING ON MONEY-In Thailand, it is illegal to criticise the King. Because his face is plastered over all Thai currency, if you accidently drop a note and subsequently step on it, you are in fact breaking the law, since stepping on money is exactly the same as stepping on the King’s face. Standing on foreign currency is allowed however; the Thai police don’t have an issue with you stepping on your own Monarch’s face.

WATERING GRASS-In Nova Scotia, Canada, a law exists that prohibits you from watering grass when it’s raining. This raises the interesting question of why somebody would decide that their lawn needed a quick sprinkling when nature is doing it for them. The law was established in an attempt to combat water preservation issues in Canada, but seems utterly futile to add the caveat of “when it is raining”.

WEARING A SUIT OF ARMOUR IN PARLIAMENT-Ever since the 14th century, a law has existed in Britain that prohibits politicians from wearing suits of armour in parliament. King Edward II created this law and surprisingly it has never been updated. At the time it made sense – it presumably prevented people from entering epic duels in the middle of a “civil meeting”. Nevertheless, given that this law hasn’t been abolished, any politician arriving at work in full battle armour can theoretically be arrested. In reality the important question is how we can convince Nigel Farage to do so?

Stepan Mysko von Schultze

5 MoSt USeleSS lawS

Hitchin boys’ school

- 10 -

On the 12th February, 30 students left school at the early hour of 8 o’clock on a journey to learn new skills and excite our taste buds. Our destination was London’s Recipease, Jamie Oliver’s teaching restaurant. After travelling through busy traffic into London, we arrived at around 09:30 full of excitement at the prospect of the coming hours. We were given a warm welcome before starting to cook our pasta. We were shown the basics of how to make the dough and the filling of spinach and ricotta. To our interest we were let loose on pasta machines and squashed the dough into sheets. Then they showed us how to make various traditional pasta shapes and some of our own creation. After that we boiled our creations. Finally, after an hour of hard work, we ate our well earned lunch. It tasted better because we knew we had made it. Afterwards we explored the shop selling many products we hadn’t seen before, including red popcorn kernels.

The Whole Food market was next on our to-do list. It sells interesting and unusual food, all of which is organic, from different cultures and countries. After the world of ‘healthy and organic’ food we were shown the other side of the spectrum with a popular visit to McDonalds. We only went there because some of the GCSE student had spotted it and

didn’t really like their filled pasta. We then got on the coach and arrived at school just in time for the bell.

Sam McKenzie and Archie Summerhayes

Food Technology Trip

Hitchin boys’ school

- 11 -

On the 11th February Year 8 went to the Northwood Synagogue in London to learn about the Holocaust. Amongst other activities, we were lucky enough to hear a talk from Holocaust survivor Mala Tribich.

Mala Tribich was a polish prisoner of war in the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp and was 14 years old when she and her fellow prisoners were liberated on the 15th April 1945. She says that at that time she had spent roughly half her life living in concentration camps and ghettos under the Nazi administration.

Mala Tribich was born in Piotrkow Trybunalski September 1930 and lived in a family of 5 until the outbreak of the Second World War when her town was occupied by German forces. The first Ghetto in Poland was made a month later. These Jews were hurriedly forced into it. They lived together there as a family for 3 years until one day her father heard about certain deportations and he organized a deportation for Mala and her cousin, Idiza, to be smuggled out and stay with a Christian family.

Idiza was an only child and became very homesick during the time away from her family. After a while she insisted to go back to the ghetto. When Mala was taken back after the deportations she found that Idiza was not there. She had disappeared without a trace. Shortly after her return, her mother and sister had been taken away and murdered. Their cousin Anne arrived as her father had been shot and her mother had been deported.

The ghetto to which she returned was liquidated at the end of 1942.

Mala was sent to a slave labour camp just outside Piotrkow with her father, her brother Ben and her cousin Anne. She worked there for two years in a plywood factory before the surviving women including herself and Anne were taken by cattle trucks to Ravensbruck concentration camp. She says that the conditions there were so bad that she lost an aunt and a best friend. After ten weeks, as the Russian army was approaching, she and Anne were forced into another cattle truck to Bergen-Belsen. She stayed there until the camp was liberated and when she was permitted to leave, she found that the only surviving member of her immediate family was her brother Ben.

It was a privilege to hear this incredible lady’s story and we found it unbelievable that one woman had endured so much. The day also made us appreciate that the horrific experiences Mala endured were endured by millions of others too and it really brought home to us how lucky we are.

Henry McElroy

Since its rebirth in the autumn, our school council, the Student Voice, has been hard at work developing our new code of conduct and brainstorming ways in which we can enhance our learning.

Their first assignment in the winter term was to modernise our code of conduct with a view to upholding some of the traditional values ingrained in its predecessor. This can be seen here and will also feature in next year’s homework diary.

In addition to this, a working party from Key Stage 3 set about constructing the ‘Everyday Checklist’. This checklist will also appear in next year’s homework diary and is designed to aid younger students with some of the formalities of day to day affairs.

After these successes, the Student Voice set out to improve the ways in which we learn as individuals and as a community. With the help of a student survey, the Student Voice discussed auditory, visual and kinaesthetic means of learning as well as ways in which we as individuals can best consolidate our learning outside of school. This produced three key observations:

Learning needs to be a structured activity. Nothing has ever been achieved with a gun-hoe attitude.

Teaching is only the gateway to learning. To be a truly successful learner you must embrace

your independence as a student and allow your curiosities to guide your independent learning; revising and enhancing your classroom knowledge.

Learning needs to be consolidated if we want to remember it. Similarly to above, you should re-visit things you have covered in class with a view

to improving your understanding and taking your learning to the next level.

By the time this magazine is published, the Student Voice will have conducted two further meetings to discuss how we can distinguish ourselves as an outstanding school when it is time for our next Ofsted inspection.

Please remember that you can approach your Student Voice representative at any time if you have any suggestions or comments that you would like to be discussed at future meetings.

The Student Voice Representatives

Mala Tribich Holocaust trip

Hitchin boys’ school

- 12 -

the literary ChroniCleTHE ANTIDOTECharles was revising when a knock came at the door. He turned and said “come in”. James entered looking excited and broke the news.

“We can test the antidote.”

Charles was astonished.

“The contract’s signed by the head of the Oxford Medical Faculty.”

“Ok let’s do it; bring the patient and I’ll get the antidote.” Charles said.

They met in the testing area; James strapped the patient to the chair. He was a tall thin man with black hair; he seemed excited to be receiving the cure. Charles picked up the syringe whispering to James “if this goes wrong, I’m blaming you.”

“How are you today?” he asked as he approached the patient.

“Been better, thanks.” he replied.

“Just a little scratch…” Charles injected the antidote into the patient’s arm.

What happened next was extraordinary.

Immediately, the patient’s eyes were bloodshot, his mouth began to foam and then came the most petrifying sound he’d ever heard, a painful yet eerie, deep chested growl.

James swiftly left the room and called security. Charles was following but the patient had broken his restraints and was already in front of him. He made a grab for Charles but missed. Terrified, he ran as fast as his legs would carry him. He ran until he was out of the building and out of breath. Charles frantically called the police.

“999, what’s your emergency?”

“Come quick! ... it’s… it’s all gone wrong! You need to get here now! Send the police to Oxford Medical Faculty right now! Please, hurry!” Charles hung up, praying that they would be there soon.

Where was James? Charles rang him… but he didn’t pick up. He cautiously walked back to the medical facility, hoping to find him.

Sirens sounded from behind and he turned to see a police car pulling up. Feeling a wave of relief he said “I’m so glad to see you two.”

The burly one spoke to Charles. “What’s the problem here then?”

“Follow me and I’ll show you.”

Officer Johnson and PC Evans followed Charles into the building. He was leading them to the testing area, hoping he’d only imagined what had happened earlier.

Just before the testing area, Charles heard an unnerving crunching noise.

“Sssshhhh listen, it’s a pattern.”

Crunch, squelch, rip, crunch, squelch, rip. The police heard it too, reaching the testing area they found the patient feasting on the remains of James. Up snapped his head and hanging from his blood-soaked mouth was part of James’ intestines. The police pulled out their pistols and shouted for the patient to stand down. The reply was a simply a scream; there was a shuffling, scratching noise behind them. They all turned to find the source but couldn’t see anything. Charles felt something wet drop on his head, he looked up and found the ceiling moving! Bloodshot eyes looking at him from everywhere and with a jolt of fear he realised the ceiling was crawling with bodies, just like the patient’s. Their bloodthirsty, foaming mouths made that same ear piercing scream! Frozen with fear, Charles couldn’t move.

Michael Johnson

THE BEEF BURGER SOLILOqUYIs this a burger I see before me,The fine bun towards my hand? Come let me swallow thee.I have thee not, yet I see thee still.Art thou not, succulent vision, magical,As taste as to sight? Or art thou butA burger of the mind, a false dinner,Proceeding from the meat-oppressed stomach?I see thee yet, in form as edible,As this chip I chew.Thou marshall’st me the way to the café;And such a meal I was to devour.Mine eyes are made fools o’ the other sensesOr else worth all the rest; I want thee stillAnd on thy meat and veg gouts of ketchup,Which was not so before. There’s no such thing:It is the appetizing feast which informsThus to mine eyes. Now o’er the one snackTaste-buds seem dead and raw sprouts abuseThe rumbling gut; the greedy celebrateMcDonald’s off’rings, and wither’d starved,Alarumed by its sentinel, the cashier,Whose call their watch, thus with their cooking skills,With the customers’ ravishing strides towards the counterMoves like a ghost. No pushing in the queue!Hear not my teeth, which way they bite, for gleeThy very stomach prates of its elation,And take the present delight of the time,Which now suits with it. Whilst I dine, he starvesWords to heat of oven too cold drinks give.A bell ringsI go and it is done, the bell invites me.Hear it not meat; for it is a knellTo say that you are heaven and salad is hell.

Joshua Hastings

Hitchin boys’ school

- 13 -

January 7th saw a watershed in 21st century French and Western thought if you listened to the media reports. An abhorrent attack was carried out on the offices of satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo leaving ten journalists dead alongside two police protection officers. The massacre, carried out with rifles in a well-planned operation, was in response to the magazines offensive coverage of the Prophet Mohammed and other criticisms of Islam. Of course the actions of the attackers were unjustifiable. The ensuing manhunt led to the capture, and death, of attackers Saïd and Chérif Kouachi.

The popular response was overwhelmingly in favour of Charlie Hebdo, with the “survivor’s edition” making a print run of 5 million, increasing from the usual 60,000. The French government granted €1 million to the magazine in support.

Yet even now this support strikes me as largely disdainful and hypocritical. It was Voltaire who is attributed to have said “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.” Thousands flocked around the abhorrently militant atheism of Hebdo with its far left principals. As many as 3.7 million carried signs in solidarity emblazoned with the phrase “Je suis Charlie” in Paris alone and fair enough to them.

Defenders of Charlie Hebdo will cite the ‘right to be offended’ as a valid reason for showing such support. However we do not live in a tolerant and fair society. As the whole world flocked around the “Je Suis Charlie” campaign free speech was being distorted even further. Radical speech criticising Hebdo was being stifled with the arrest of comedian Dieudonné M’bala M’bala, whose views I find more distasteful than even Hebdo’s, who stated on his Facebook Page “I feel like Charlie Coulibaly” (a reference to Amedy Coulibaly, who had murdered four Jewish men in a kosher supermarket) . There is actively a double standard in France’s race laws where Hebdo can escape far worse than Dieudonné merely because it is in print.

Indeed in the same week of the 7th, 54 people have been detained and several jailed for a variety of remarks, shouted out in the street or posted on social media.

More than this worldwide such a double standard exists; Marine le pen’s speech at the Oxford Union on February 5th was ‘no platformed’ by a group of Socialist Workers, Marxists and naive do-gooders. Although I equally disagree with Le Pen, such actions accomplish a very similar end as the Kouachi brothers. They prevent elements of society expressing their often distasteful views but these people have an equal right to spread offence.

Often the best way of exposing and tackling such extremist views are to air them openly and expose them for the nonsensical ramblings they are. In suppressing thought by jail or disruptive protest we give such elements the best weapons they could hope for. Therefore January 7th was no watershed, it retrenched the inequality of ‘free speech’ which exists and proves that extremist Islam isn’t the only threat to liberté in modern society.

Peter Saville

FREE SPEECH, A TWO WAY STREET

- 14 -

Guess the Holiday Snaps...For this term’s photo extravaganza The Chronicle team has asked members of staff to submit their best holiday snaps. The photos below are from Miss Oliva, Mrs Strachan, Mr Brown, Mr Howie, Mr Moore, Mr Sherman, Mr Smith and Ms. Del Rio. Can you match up the teachers with their respective photos? Bonus points are available if you can name the destinations!

Hitchin boys’ school

Leaving on Friday 13th February, the annual ski trip set out to Wagrain, Austria; the first time to this new location. Boys from years 9, 10, and 11 participated in one of the most exciting trips of the year.

After a long journey across Western Europe, teachers and pupils were united in relief when the coach eventually arrived at our destination. Our youth hostel was newly built, complete with trampolines, sports facilities, calm relaxing areas, and even an indoor climbing wall. After a good night’s sleep, 48 keen pupils were eager to test their skiing skills. A diverse range of skiers from beginners to the advanced hit the slopes, with varying degrees of success. As is tradition on HBS ski trips, daily awards were handed out for the events of the day. Pupils received credit for everything from being the most forgetful, to managing to take out defenceless young children! These helped to create a ‘friendly’ experience for all, while also adding extra competition to motivate boys.

Après ski facilities were also enjoyable, from kicking a football around at the hostel, to relaxing in the heated outdoor pool of Therme Amadé. Undoubtedly the favourite being the immense water slides we experienced.

Meanwhile on the mountain, the well groomed slopes of the Ski Amadé area offered great skiing facilities. Offering a range of runs from beginner hills to blacks, everyone was entertained. Many enjoyed the stunning views due to near perfect visibility all week, boys using the opportunity for some predictable selfies…

Throughout the week everyone was united in achieving an incredible improvement across the board, thanks in great part to the work of the

instructors. Those who had struggled to stand upright on the first day, managed to navigate down blue runs with ease by the end of the week. Once again the trip resulted in both fun for all and real improvement.

Thank you very much to all the teachers involved in the trip’s organisation.

Michael Longstaff

Wagrain Ski Trip

Hitchin boys’ school

At the beginning of this year I wrote about the issue of ‘ageing’ with all its denotations and clichés. Much of the staff room would probably consider me pretentious for writing on the subject at the ripe old age of 18. However, in regard to the locomotion of life, I am currently faced with the dilemma of the end of my formative years in secondary education; the beginning of ‘adulthood’ in a university education with the prospect of considering housing, taxation and the almost certain necessity for contingency on ‘nights out.’

Here in lies the problem. Leaving school is inevitable but it is hard not to look back on one’s formative years (12-18) without a certain degree of sentimentality at the progression that is made, as well as the inevitable catalogue of regrets and mistakes that make up young life. While mistakes shall not cease to be made, the prospect of being more directly accountable for one’s actions is an expected yet frightening prospect.

The cliché ‘big bad world’ is often thrown about at the particular crossroads I find myself at. Adults, while I still don’t count myself as one, like to use this phrase as the warning to young people that the savannah ends here. The road ahead is filled with bumps and unexpected dips, which said young person is expected to traverse, bumbling along trying to make sense of it all.

It is this pessimism that makes the prospect of growing up a difficult one. It naturally makes your upbringing a fond memory. Perhaps this is why the paradox exists that you spend your young life moaning about school: the work, teachers, the P.E. But when faced with leaving you feel a reluctance to do so, despite the fact that you would overstay your welcome if you were to continue.

I appreciate that at this point that many will be disagreeing with me. They will state that they cannot wait to leave and have found the whole experience of school to be the proverbial thorn in their side, a thorn they hope to expel in the next three years of lecturing and debauchery. Others will harbour no grudge against school but feel like a big fish in a small pond and want to continue downstream into the fresh waters of adulthood from adolescence. It would be hard to find issue with either of these two people; your memories of school are mitigated somewhat by the nature of your experience and whether or not you managed to ‘fit in’, whatever that means.

However, I have benefited by having, by all accounts, an enjoyable education. I haven’t suffered much in way of disciplinary proceedings, having been a relative square throughout, but neither have I fallen foul of the ‘social Darwinism’ that school is often mercy to. This has left me in the position where I can look back at Hitchin Boys’ with a fondness. A secondary institution passes down certain memories that are completely unique: the sound of a ringing bell, the sight of muddied trousers and school shoes, or even the smell of the 6th form common room, which I am reliably informed has remained a permanent feature since the building’s inception.

It is these images that remain permanently bound in the album of my memory. I will not lie, schooling is not always pleasant and certainly has its infuriating moments but in hindsight it is this experience that gives one the stead at which to take on the ‘big bad world’ safe in the knowledge that you are well equipped for the ensuing fray. However, it will only be when I am of the appropriate age to write this article that I will be able to truly gauge the importance of ‘an education’, in every sense of the word.

Nathan May

CommonCOMMENTS FROM THE

Room

- 15 -

Hitchin boys’ school

- 16 -

Dear Mr Brown,

You may be a colourful fellow; however, after many years of hard labour and long hours, it is unfortunate that the time has come for me to tender my notice of resignation.

Having been forced into this servitude at a young age, I feel aggrieved and ashamed that little effort has been made to utilise my skills and expertise outside of providing compassionate and caring advice for pupils. My DIY skills for example have been shelved whilst my first aid qualification appears to have been plastered over.

I have come to the decision that the time has come for me to move on and in the immediate future I hope to re-kindle my passion for creating garden ornaments. Those that have gnome me well will realise that I am as adept at gardening as I am at writing meaningful responses to my clientele.

I also intend to pursue my life-long ambition to become a shepherd. In previous years I have felt sheepish about doing so but I feel that now is the optimum time for my partner and me to flock to the Welsh valleys in pursuit of a new start. I look forward to a career where I am no-longer being fleeced for answers to ludicrous questions and to one where no-one is trying to pull the wool over my eyes with regards to deadlines and grammatical in-exactitudes. I hope to become a member of the Lamb-ded Gentry.

I hasten to add that due to my ill treatment whilst in post as an agony aunt; ewe will not be receiving a ‘Seasons Bleating’s’ card at any point in the near future. I guess you could say ‘Baaaa- humbug’.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Mr Warburton for his continued contributions to my work during his time at Hitchin Boys’ School and in his absence. Whilst he had a breadly serious demeanour he rose to

the occasion when required. I would also like to extend my gratitude to Mr Monks who I’m sure will be providing my predecessor with inspiration. I don’t want to make a habit of this but I feel it is a shame that Mr Monks has missed his vocation as a food tech teacher…he never got the chance to use a deep fat friar.

Please accept this article as notice of my abdication from the role as an agony aunt and as a caring hand to all those pupils I have consoled. My resignation is to take place with immediate effect.

Signing off (for the last time)

Agnes

A Big Thank YouFor three key members of the editorial team this is their last edition of The Chronicle and I want to take a moment to say thank you to them. The evidence of their hard work is in your hands as you read this and I can attest to the fact that it is their humour, intelligence and hard work that has made this publication something the school is deservedly very proud of.

So, Alex, Peter and Nathan thank you so much for making my job overseeing the magazine so easy (and also so enjoyable). We will all miss you and steering the good ship Chronicle next term is going to be much harder without you.

Thank you. Miss Brenham

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