“Those who are protected from the greed of their own ego will be successful”

[Qur’an 59:9]

ISCN

Purification of the Heart

The Importance of the Heart

• Human = body + soul• Heart in control

Knowing How the Heart Works

• Knowledge needed to purify– Like a cardiologist

• Originally clean -> carwash• َّو�اَه�ا ) �ْف�ٍس� َو�َم�ا َس� �ْق�َّو�اَه�ا 7َو�َن َه�ا َو�َت �َه�َم�َه�ا ُف�ُج�َّوَر� ْل

� ( ُف�َأ(8)

• �اَه�ا ) َّك �َح� َم�ْن� َز� �ُف�َل اَه�ا 9َق�ْد� َأ ( َو�َق�ْد� َخ�اَب� َم�ْن� َد�َس�( )اْلشَمٍس(10)

• Treasure vault analogy– Entrances: anger, greed, desire

The Importance of Character

• “You are on an exalted character”• “His character was the Qur’an”• Praying and fasting + bad character -> “there is

no good in her”

• The heart produces actions on autopilot -> character

Is Character Capable of Change?

• Lazy/stubborn people: “This is how I am!”• Argument: born/raised that way• Answer:

– No point in admonition– Wild animals– Some people need more effort

Goal: To Tame – Not Uproot

• Natural characteristics• Bring them in balance – eating• Even prophets had emotions: anger, sadness• Reason for natural characteristics

– Appetite: nourish the body– Greed: protect your belongings– Anger: defend yourself or fight for justice– Desire: procreate

Goal – Evidence of Balance

• Description of Muttaqīn – control not uprooting اْلغيظ - [3:134] َواْلكاظَميْن

• Food [7:31] - 2ِح4ُّب� ُي اَل� �ُه� 4َن ِإ ِر4ُف�َّوا �ْس� َت َو�اَل� �َّوا ُب ِر� َو�اْش� �َّوا �َل َو�َّكِر4ُف4يْن� �َم�ْس� اْل

• Charity – Servants [25:67] - ْم�� ْل �ْف�ْق�َّوا �َن َأ 4َذ�ا ِإ �ِذ4ُيْن� َو�اْلَق�َّو�اَمAا 4َك� َذ�ْل �ْن� �ي ُب �اَن� َو�َّك َوا �ِر� �ْق�ُت ُي �ْم� َو�ْل ِر4ُف�َّوا �ْس� ُي

• Charity – Regret [17:29] - 4ْل�ى ِإ Aًة� �َّوْل َم�غ�َل �ْد�َك� ُي �ُج�َع�ْل� َت َو�اَل�ا Aَّوَر َم�ِح�ْس� �َّوَمAا َم�َل �ْق�َع�ْد� ُف�ُت �ْس�ِط4 �َب اْل �ْل� َّك �ْس�ْط�َه�ا �َب َت َو�اَل� �ْق4َك� ُع�ُن

– Do not be tight fisted, nor so open-handed that you end up blamed with regret.

Goal – Method to Restore Balance

• Reason why anger, greed, desire, etc. has bad connotation

• Exaggerate in the opposite– Practice the opposite

• Generosity – regularly spend• Humility – don’t listen to yourself being praised

• Will become habit• When heart enjoys it, no more pain – reading,

cleaning, exercising• No immediate results - consistency

The Way to Rectify Character

• Character is like body– needs nourishment and exercise– if healthy, maintain – if sick, treat– counter with opposite – insomniac needs sleep –

ignorance needs knowledge – stinginess needs generosity

– treatment for every illness is different – no magic pill– bear bitter medicine and treatment – patience over

bitterness of hunger, humiliation, less money remaining

How to Know What Good Character Is

• Trap – put in some effort -> assume you are clean

• Immorality is marketed– Ends justify means – politics

• Mu’minūn 1-9, Tawbah 112, Anfal 2-4, Furqān 63-77

• Hadith: love for your brother, neighbor, say good or be quiet, harmful glance, scare

How to Know Your Own Faults

• Most can’t see – can see spot on others• Test yourself regularly

– someone insults you, insult them back? -> anger– gathering wealth is more delicious than spending

– miser

How to Know Your Own Faults - Methods

• Knowing your faults is rare. Other ways:– Expert of defects– Insightful friend - watch over you

• Umar: “May Allah have mercy on a person who gifts me my own faults.• Umar used to ask Huzayfah: You know the secret of the Messenger. Do I have traits

of hypocrisy?• Accuse yourself - piety • Rare – friends flatter or envious• If told about poisonous insect on you, you would thank them - take criticism

– From enemies – insult not criticism, but still useful – like attacking army reveals weak points for next time – better than silent friend with spot on your shirt

– Observe people – to learn - believer is a mirror [Abū Daūd] • If you can see specks on someone else shirt, it might remind you to check yours.

Let’s Get Started!

• Qur’an: rabbanā lā tuzigh• Prophet – often: yā muqallib al-qulūb

Dangers of the Tongue

• Many dangers - Sweet for the Heart• Importance

– “Whoever can guarantee to protect what is between his jawbones and thighs, I will guarantee him paradise.” (bukhari)

– “Belief is not firm until the heart of the servant is firm. The heart will not be firm until his tongue is.” (Ahmad)

– Muadh: “Protect this.” “O Messenger, will we be held accountable for what we say.” “Of course. Will people be thrown on their faces in the fire for something other than what their tongues have earned.” (ibn abi dunya)

– “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should say something good or keep quiet.”[Bukhari, Muslim]

Danger #1: Not Your Concern

• “From the good qualities of Islam is to leave that which doesn’t concern you.” (tirmidhi)

• Time is capital – make profit – don’t waste in bad investment

• Like picking up dirt instead of the jewels

Danger #2: Excessive Speech

• 50:17-18 “he does not utter a single word without an ever-present watcher”

• 82:11 “Noble scribes” – You have a huge book – more accounting

• More than necessary – may not be sin but disliked

• Ironic: people withhold excess money but spend in excess speech

Danger 3: Speaking About Immoral Things

• Speaking about forbidden acts: desire, alcohol, pride – many types

• 4:140 “…if you hear people denying and ridiculing God’s revelation, do not sit with them unless they start talking about other things, or else you yourselves will become like them…”

Danger 4: Arguing

• “The most hated of all people to Allah are those who are argumentative fighters.” [Bukhari] –in falsehood or w/o knowledge

• 2:83 “…and speak nicely to people”

Danger 5: Affectation

• Excessive eloquence• Rhyme• Emphasis• Beyond what is necessary or effective

Danger 6: Foul Language

• “When you curse the dead, it harms the living” [tirmidhi]

• “Beware of obscenity and foul language. Allah hates the one who uses foul language.” (hakim, ibn hibban)

• “A believer is not defamer, a curser, one who uses foul language, or one who is obscene.” [Tirmidhi]

• “If someone curses and insults you for something, and you know something about him, do not insult him with what you know about him. You will have the reward and he will get the sin, so don’t insult anyone.” [Ahmad]

Danger 6: Foul Language – cont’d

• Foul language is that which is clearly obscene• Allah and Prophet used words like touching,

entrance, placing, etc. out of modesty • Causes:

– Intending harm– Being accustomed from bad influences– Emphasis – shock value

Danger 7: Joking

The Prophet would joke sometimes:• “An old woman will not enter paradise.” Cried. “You won’t be old

then.” 56:35-36• “My husband is calling you.” “Who? The one with the whiteness

in his eyes?” “I swear he doesn’t have that.” “Yes he does.” “No, I swear.” “Everyone has some whiteness in their eyes.”

• Woman: “Let me ride on a camel.” “I will, but on a child of a camel.” “What good will that do? It won’t be able to carry me.” “Every camel is the child of another camel.”

• Suhayb was eating dates while he had ramad: “You’re eating dates while you have ramad?” “I’m eating it with the other side.” Huge smile.

Danger 7: Joking – cont’d

Three conditions:• Truth• Not out of place• Not excessive

Danger 8: Mocking

• 49:11 “Believers, no one group should mock another. They might be better than them…”

• Def: pointing out a fault out to amuse• Exception: if they do the same to themselves

and aren’t bothered• Action or speech

Danger 9: Revealing Secrets

• “If someone says something [in secret] and then looks around [to see no one is listening], it is a trust.” [tir, ad]

• Revealing the secret will harm the person – if it benefits him, then permissible

Danger 10: False Promise

• “Believers, fulfill your promises.” [5:1]• “There are three signs of a hypocrite: When

he speaks, he lies. When he promises, he breaks it. When he is entrusted, he is treacherous.” [Bukhari]

• Abdullah ibn Abi al-Khansa’ – before Islam: “Young man, you have made life difficult for me. I have been waiting here for three days.”

Danger 10: False Promise – cont’d

Making a commitment: • say insha Allah – mean it• don’t make fake commitments: hypocrisy• prerequisites before making commitment• prevent yourself from forgetting –

accountability– even with an excuse: outward form of a hypocrite

Danger 11: Lying

• “Beware of lying. It leads to sin, which leads to the fire. A person will lie so much that he will be written down as a liar. Be truthful. It leads to righteousness, which leads to paradise. A person will be so honest that he will be written down as an honest person.” [ad]

• “Allah will not speak to three people on the Day of Judgement…one who sells his merchandise with a false promise…” [Muslim]

Danger 11: Lying – cont’d

Exceptions: if it causes direct benefit or averts a clear harm• prevent bloodshed - mandatory• mend hearts – allowed if there is no other way• use literally true speech when possible

– an-Nakha’i: “Look for him in the masjid” – when he hated to meet that person at home

• custom implies exaggeration: “I’ve told you a hundred times!”– If you said it only once, it is lying

Be careful of small/habitual lies - prohibited:• “Have some food” – “I just ate”

Danger 12: Slander/Backbiting

• 49:12 “…and do not speak ill of one another behind their backs: would any of you like to eat the flesh of their dead brother? No, you would hate it.”

• 104:1 “Woe to every faultfinding backbiter.”• “O you who have believed with your tongues but

faith hasn’t entered your hearts yet: Do not backbite Muslims and do not follow their private affairs. Whoever follows their private affairs, Allah will follow his private affairs. If Allah does that, He will humiliate him in his own house.” [Abu Dawud]

Danger 12: Slander/Backbiting - Definition

“It is to mention something about another in his absence that he would dislike.” “What if I speak the truth about him?” “If you speak the truth then you are backbiting and if you lie then you are slandering. [Muslim]Categories:• Body/clothes – he’s short, fat, illness, dark – tight, not color

coded• Lineage – his dad is…• Action – he steals, drinks, doesn’t pray, doesn’t respect

parents/elders• Character – he’s a miser, arrogant, dim-witted

Danger 12: Slander/Backbiting – Be Careful

Hidden backbiting• Even if his name is not mentioned – “May Allah

protect us from hypocrisy”• By gestureListening to backbiting is backbiting• “Whoever hears a believer disgraced in front of him

and doesn’t help him, while he is able to do so, Allah will disgrace him on the Day of Jedgment.” [Tir, Ahmad]

• Must object or leave

Danger 12: Slander/Backbiting - Causes

• Venting anger on another person• Peer pressure• Elevate yourself by lowering another – “he’s

ignorant” / “out of fashion”• Envy – backbite to lower status• Joking – in order to make others laugh• Forming bad opinions in your heart – try to

interpret it in another way– Leads to spying

Danger 12: Slander/Backbiting - Cures

• Know that you earn the anger of Allah• Your good deeds taken by that person• If you have none, then you take their bad deeds• Think of your own bad deeds – if you find none:

– Backbiting will be that bad deed– Think about how ignorant you are of yourself– Thank Allah

• Would you like it if he did the same to you?

Danger 12: Slander/Backbiting - Exceptions

When Backbiting is Allowed• Known publicly by that name• Oppression- oppressed can speak out so someone can

help• Help in correcting evil - recruiting• Consultation – specifying is ok: Abu Sufyan – better to be

general: “someone’s father did…”• Warning others

– A righteous person inclining to a bad influence– Getting married, borrowing money, etc.

• Open sinner – removed the veil of modesty from himself

Danger 12: Slander/Backbiting - Compensation

• Regret• Repent• Correct

– Praise– Du’a

Danger 13: False Accusation

“A slanderer will not enter paradise.” [Bukhari]If someone comes to you saying: “someone said this about you”, then:• Check the narrator: lying/twisting/misunderstood• Admonish them• Hate it for the sake of Allah• Don’t think bad about your brother/sister who is

absent• Don’t let it drive you to spy on that person• Don’t fall in the same trap by going and telling othersDanger level: high – Ex: Media

Danger 14: Two Faced Rhetoric

“The worst of all people is the two-faced hypocrite who comes to these people with one face and those people with another face.” [Bukhari & Muslim]Description: tells everyone what they want to hearCause: to gain trust by deception

Danger 15: Praise

A man was praised in the presence of the Prophet. “You’ve cut your friends neck.” [Bukhari & Muslim]The One Praising:• Exaggerate and fall into lying• Become a show-off hypocrite [for people in

power]• Praise someone who deserves blameThe One Praised:• Arrogance• Content with his status and stop striving

Danger 15: Praise

Umar heard a man being praised:• Have you traveled with him? • Have you dealt with him in business or other

matters?• Are you his neighbor and see him morning and

evening?• You don’t really know him

Conclusion

Reflect on all the dangersNow reflect: “Whoever was silent was successful.” [Tirmidhi]Aim your tongue before firing, and keep the safety on