Inspiring Quote of the Day

8/12/2019 Inspiring Quote of the Day

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Inspiring Quote of the Day

"Those who surrender freedom forsecurity will not have, nor do theydeserve, either one." ~ Benjamin

FranklinFreedom represents a celebration of the individual as adivine aspect of the One consciousness, an animating

principle based on love and cooperation and joy.

Freedom is a quintessential aspect of any service-to-others consciousness. Without freedom we will turninto slaves, it's as simple as that.

The Duality~ by Kenneth J.M. MacLean

The human race is at an evolutionary crossroads. We knowthat we live in a duality; even skeptics and materialistscannot argue with this. We know that polarization andseparation is the hallmark of duality; hot cold, light dark,misery joy, etc. This is part and parcel of a physicalexperience at this density. And so it is easy to insist that lifeand events on the planet Earth have a light side and a dark

side. Therefore, it is obvious that there are groups of peopleon the planet working to raise the consciousness of thehuman race, and that there are those who are working toenslave us. It's just part of the duality.
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It sounds evil when you use the word enslave us; how about"influence us" or "control us." Whatever word you want touse, there is a group or groups of people on the planet withhidden agendas who are determined to take us down thepath of collective security and a hive-like or Borg mentalitywhere individual freedom and a shared consciousnessbased on connection to Source are missing. There will be aconnection all right; but it will not be biological or spiritual. Itwill be electronic or have to do with technology that can becontrolled from above. This is the real issue here in theduality, ladies and gentlemen: will we choose cooperation

and love, or collective security and protection from (fill in theblank - whatever straw man is put forward to scare people)based on some fear-based agenda.

My friend in Australia sent me a message that was writtenon a traffic box. It said, "Love life and life will love you back."Apparently in Australia the councils actually hire artists topaint stuff like this, in order to brighten the place up. I think

Australia is way ahead of us here in the U.S. This idea,which uses love as its basis, is also applicable to everythingin a vibrational universe. What you place your attention onyou get more of.

Benjamin Franklin said, "Those who surrender freedom forsecurity will not have, nor do they deserve, either one." Thisis precisely the theme that is being acted out within the

species consciousness right now. Security represents a de-evolution back to the old paradigm of thought, and to adeprecated existence. Security represents protection from(fill in the blank with your favorite boogeyman). Freedomrepresents a celebration of the individual as a divine aspect


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of the One consciousness, an animating principle based onlove and cooperation and joy. Freedom is a quintessentialaspect of any service-to-others consciousness. Withoutfreedom we will turn into slaves, it's as simple as that.

So why am I going on about this, some might say adnauseum? Because IT IS TIME TO WAKE UP. We are in awindow of opportunity right now to influence the next 10,000years of human evolution. We are in the zone of chaoswhere the variables and the energy are coalescing. Thechoices we make RIGHT NOW are the ones that are called,

in chaos theory, the initial conditions upon which the entiresystem will evolve around. We are setting up the equations(memes, thought patterns, vibrations, choices) in the mentalplane around which the fractal pattern of human evolutionwill initiate and evolve.

Remember what Esther Hicks always used to say, "there isnever a crowd on the leading edge." Hicks did humanity a

great service by promoting concepts like the Law ofAttraction; getting people to see that a vibrational universe isarranged to support the decisions we make, and to get us tounderstand that we have power and that we have to stepinto it. This is the key concept in transcending those on theother side of the duality, who will ALWAYS use fear, terror,and violence, and propaganda and persuasion based onthese themes, to promote their hidden agendas.

The other side of the duality operates on these principles:Secrecy. Stealth. Covertness. Subtlety. Guile. Deceit. Theseprinciples are all mired on the negative side of theemotional/vibrational scale. This tells you that all "nationalsecurity" establishments are the tools of the dark side,


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because they are all secret. The justifications for them arethemselves based in fear. "We have to have a nationalsecurity establishment because our enemies will strike usdown if we don't." Oh for gawd's sake, isn't this tired oldtheme getting boring by now? Isn't it just stupid? Well, welook around and say there's nothing we can do about it,except that we CAN do something about it.

The real action is on the mental plane, within theprogramming that comprises the virtual realm. There is aphysical universe and, alongside the physical is the virtual

world that is invisible to the five human senses but whichcontains the programming and the sets of possible realitiesthat can be manifested. You might think of these possiblesets of reality as virtual holodecks. If you've ever seen theprogram "Eureka" (highly recommended, especially the lastseason, season 5) you see how virtual realities can beconstructed and how consciousness can experience inthem. These realities are just as real as the physical

universe we live in. In fact, it can be argued that all physicalrealties are virtual constructs. This is what Esther Hicks wastrying to say when she talked about how reality, in avibrational universe, is an interpreted reality. Consciousnesscan enter into any virtual reality and it will be just as solidand real as our physical universe.

In the Matrix, your consciousness was installed in the virtual

program. When you removed your consciousness from thevirtual program you returned to your body in another virtualreality, the physical universe. And when you remove yourconsciousness from the physical body, (this is called"Death," by the way, in case you are interested) you return


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to Native State, a condition where your self-awareness isnot associated with a physical body. Native State itself maybe a construct of an even higher reality. We will all find outwhen we "die."

And so we have to look at the physical universe we live inas a programmable construct. Because it IS. And ifsomething is programmable, then it is malleable. It can bechanged. And the way we change it is by consciouslymaking choices about how we want to live our lives. As wekeep saying over and over on the show, there are 7 billion of

us creating a huge collective reality on the planet earth. Untilnow, the dumbasses who were playing the game (us) hadno clue that we were anything more than pieces of meatwalking around on the gameboard, and that ourconsciousness was dependent on the body, and that whenwe die, we're dead.

OK, so that was a really, really fun game that we played for

a really long time. But it is time to play a bigger and a bettergame. We as individuals can help everyone, and the Earthherself, by selecting (programming) the highest possible setof possible realities for our lives. By doing this we choose ahigher set of possible manifestations from the collection ofall possible manifested realities. This all happens outsidethe body reality, outside mainstream science, and the otherside of the duality. These guys cannot stop us from

choosing a bright future, but they can attempt to persuadeus from choosing a true fourth-level consciousness, throughcleverly designed propaganda and persuasion.

The most important area in this choosing-a-potential-futureis communications and electronics. The advertisements I


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see for phones show people totally immersed in a digital orvirtual reality (created by others) and completely ignoringthe "real world." These advertisements show people totallyand completely dependent upon their electronic device. Thisis a subtle way of showing you that you don't really haveany power, that the real power lies in the operating systemof the phone and the apps created by others. And of course,because we live in a duality, there is also the bright side ofthe power of these phones: the power to share information,video, and experiences on your network, and to connectwith each other on a planetary basis. This is why I say that

we are in the most important time in human history.

Collectively we are on the cusp of making individualdecisions that will affect the collective for the next severalmillennia. The time is now, as Charlie Parker, the greatsaxophonist, expressed in his song, "Now's the Time." Mostof us are not consciously aware of how important this time isin human history. That's how it's always been. There are

always a few visionaries like Hicks and Chopra and otherswho are pointing out the correct path, and a few on the otherside who are engaging in doom and gloom. And then thereis the one standard deviation in the middle, the 2/3rds of thepopulation who don't seem to be able to think forthemselves; who, like sheep, are moved one way or theother by the latest fads and fashions and meme structures.

Well, boys and girls, as Esther Hicks always said, "there'snever a crowd on the leading edge." Most people aren'teven aware that there IS a leading edge! In other wordsmost people just think that life is life and that there's nothingspecial about today as compared to 30 years ago or a


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hundred years ago or a thousand years ago. They just lookaround and think that life is life and human nature is humannature and that nothing has really changed much over theyears except that we live more comfortably now.

Well, that's the APPARENCY. That's what the guys on theother side of the duality want us to think, while they dreamup and put online more Utah data centers to monitor andcontrol the entire population of earth. We are working in avery powerful system that we are unaware exists: the powerof the virtual world to reprogram physical reality. The other

guys know about this. They understand that we are headingto fourth-level consciousness and they want to control theway we live, with them at the top. But this is a pathetic,deprecated existence that does not tap into humanpotential: it requires for its success that individuals neverreach their higher potential.

We have the power, if we will only become aware that it

exists, to influence the mental plane (the virtual world) on atruly massive scale. Again, there are 7 billion of us and afew thousands of them. Sure, those thousands controlexotic technology, but the reason it remains hidden is thatthe human population is still comatose. If we ever woke upwe could literally shatter the old paradigm of thought andcreate the potential for an entirely bigger game based on therealization of humanity's higher potential.

The only thing stopping us isn't THEM, it's US. Right now isthe critical window of opportunity. The further we travelalong this time line past the December 21, 2012 marker, themore powerful are our decisions. We are going to come to apoint in the near future when events on the planet will force


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us to make a collective decision, IF we do not consciouslydo it now.

In other words, we are here on the timeline where the

apparency is that there is no necessity to make a decisionabout where humanity is going at the fourth level. "Oh, whocares about that," people say. "I have so much to do in mylife, nobody has time for that metaphysical crap." Butremember, a no-decision is a vote for the status quo, for nochange, for things to go along just as they have alwaysgone along. We don't want future generations to tell their

kids, a few generations from now, that we were just toostupid to understand how important this time in humanhistory was. "My great grandparents just didn't see itcoming," we might say to our kids five generations down theline. "If only we had woken up in time to prevent the creationof skynet and the collectivization of humanity." Or somethingalong those lines.

Look, we've been warned. The Terminator movies, TheMatrix, science fiction, these have all told us of ourdeprecated possible future. But it's only possible if wechoose it. Of course there's no necessity to choose now.But why not do the smart thing and prevent the potentialcoming of future "leaders" who will try to organize humanityin order to save us from resource depletion, or the problemsbrought about by a collective security mindset? We talked

about the potential for a future charismatic leader or leaders.We made the analogy to humanity being on a huge airplanewith no pilot. This is the future scenario IF we don'tcollectively (collective = the sum of individuals) chooseNOW. People will always make a choice if things come


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down to a crisis. But let's not wait for that, because there isthe potential for a lot of unnecessary turbulence.

On a sidenote, the reason we would experience a

charismatic leader is if we were going down the wrong path.In other words, there will be no need for charismatic leadersunless we are hitting a crisis point. The idea is not tobecome dependent on leaders! The idea is that everyonesteps into their power and begins to think for themselves.

This doesn't mean we don't need leadership. We do needthat! Inspired leadership. But not charismatic leaders who

draw attention to themselves and who are promoting anagenda. If we see this we will know that the agenda, even ifit masquerades as spiritual or religious, is bogus.

All right, we've been trying to describe that there exists avirtual world and that it is interwoven seamlessly (andinvisibly) with the physical world. It's what Esther Hickspromoted for decades: the idea that the universe isvibrational and responsive to our thoughts and choices, andthat these choices have meaning. Here we're trying to showpractically how that mechanism works. My book, TheVibrational Universe,describes the practical application ofseemingly (but actually powerful) esoteric principles to dailylife. These principles only seem esoteric because they areassociated with consciousness and the invisible virtual

world. But in a cosmic twist or cosmic joke, that which isinvisible (beyond the body reality) is actually the mostimportant arena. The physical universe is just where theprogrammed changes show up.

Does that make sense to you guys?
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When you use the program's menus and buttons you createa beautiful brochure layout. That layout is strictly digital untilyou print it out. But really, 99% of the work and theconception, the REALITY, of the layout is in the electronicimpulses of the machine. And those impulses are a directcreation of your THOUGHTS. Printing the brochure is trivialonce the system is set up to allow you to push the printbutton.

Well, that's how it works in life! The system is set up to allowus to change the layout. And then that layout manifests

eventually in the physical universe, just like the brochure.What we want to get across to you is how fast the layoutcan change. In other words, millions of people consciouslymaking decisions to elevate themselves and the humanrace and the planet literally changes the virtualprogramming very very quickly. It is possible, then, toquickly and powerfully reach a "tipping point" where thesystem goes out of the chaotic state (where there are lots of

possible choices from the potential set of zillions ofpossibilities) and into a coalesced state that is the result ofthe decisions of the collective.

There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that the Powers ThatBe can do about this. It is simply a fact of the way thesystem is organized. The only power the other side of theduality has is to get us to change our minds. That's it. We're

in it right now, the period where the battle is persuasion andinfluence. Keep the sheeple sleeping is the theme of the dayfrom those who are promoting the manipulated side of theduality. But even here they are severely limited, for even asmall subset of a 7 billion human population, if we make


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conscious choices, can create the tipping point and aninstantaneous change in the consciousness of all 7 billion.That's why the other side of the duality is so afraid, becausethey know they are really powerless.

Their emphasis, therefore has been on elevating technology(and science) to the position of unquestioned god. If thepronouncements of science can be elevated to the status ofa god-like oracle coming down from on-high (in reality fromthe top of the pyramid of the Old Order) then whateverestablishment science considers valid, is valid. Which

means that ideas like consciousness being non-physical aresimply absurd. Scientific ideas such as the experimentercan influence the results of an experiment are taboo,because this leads inevitably to the idea that there is somekind of non-local (or possibly local) intelligence beyond thephysical that can influence the physical. If this idea wereever to be widely accepted we'd see a change for the betterin science, and a paradigm shift in every area of human

endeavor.

It can happen, because all we need is a paradigm shift. Wecan influence the future direction of science even if we knownothing about science. We're talking about the Big Picturehere, the picture beyond the physical and into the virtual;we're talking about the correct definition of consciousness.Once the true definition of consciousness becomes

accepted widely enough, we'll see structural changes to theentire foundation and frame of human existence, to use abuilding analogy. That's why we've been boring on and onon the show about fourth-level consciousness and theimportance of the individual in consciously making decisions


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to better their lives. The key is CONSCIOUSLY. When youconsciously make a decision to have more love or joy inyour life, you select a higher reality from the virtual space.When you do visualizations or meditations on a future earthand a future life that looks full of joy and prosperity andabundant, clean energy, you select from the virtual set ofpossible manifestations, a higher dimensional reality.

This virtual space, again, links to and programs the physicalworld we see around us, just as the virtual holo-program isinfluenced by the choices of the actors within it. And it's

exciting to think that the designers of the holo-program arethe same guys who are IN the holo-program!

"People have a hard time letting go of theirsuffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they

prefer suffering that is familiar." ~ Thich Nhat

HanhTo achieve our dreams we need to break out of our comfort zone andstart to accept and work with the unfamiliar and the unknown.

Doing Too Much: How to Overcome Pressures of

Life~ by Pete Bissonette

Is the first thought that pops into your head when you wake up in themorning, how you'll brace yourself for another whirlwind day? If so, you'renot alone.

Countless numbers of Americans are doing way too much: too much work,too many activities, and too many obligations. And they're not taking thetime to de-stress from all of this overwhelming pressure a surefire recipefor ruin.
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"Stress in America continues to escalate and is affecting every aspect ofpeople's lives from work to personal relationships to sleep patterns andeating habits, as well as their health," said Russ Newman, a psychologistand executive director of the American Psychological Association (APA).

A recent APA survey found, in fact, that 48 percent of Americans saythey're more stressed than they were five years ago, and they regularly lieawake at night because of their worries.

Feeling overwhelmed by the amount you're expected (or expectingyourself) to get done is also counterproductive.

"When you rush and do not take time for yourself you burn out and actuallyget less done," says Hale Dwoskin, founder of Sedona Training Associates.

Of course, this type of consistent 'running on overdrive' can lead to chronicstress that, according to a study published in the July 2004 issue of theAmerican Psychological Association's Psychological Bulletin, is likely theworst kind of stress. It is so hard on your immune system that it actuallycauses it to break down, leaving you vulnerable to many diseases.

How to Stop Doing Too Much, and Start Taking Care of YourselfAt the heart of your overwhelming feelings is likely an extreme desire tosimplify your life, slow down and take a few long moments of relaxation.

The tips that follow will help you to stop doing too much so that you havetime for the things that are most important in your life.

Live in the moment. "Do what you are doing when you are doing it,and don't do what you are not doing when you are not doing it,"Dwoskin says. "Most of us do the opposite. We are trying not to dowhat we are doing or we are feeling like we need to do somethingelse." The key to focusing solely on what you're doing right now liesin learning how to let go. This is an ability that you already have, butthat may need reawakening for you to harness its powers. "By

allowing yourself to focus on, engage with, and then embrace or letgo of any reactions to the job at hand it gets much easier to simply doone task at a time successfully and move on," Dwoskin says. "Plus,the more you release on your everyday activities, the less theyoverwhelm you and the more you get done."


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Learn to say NO.If you're tired of doing too much, you must learnthe art of saying no. You should say 'no' to any and all obligationsthat are not important to you or your family. You can't be everythingto everybody, and the sooner you realize this, the happier you'll feel.

Rather than rushing, believe you have all the time in the world."There is always enough time for you if you allow there to be,"Dwoskin says. So let go of the feeling that you are running out of timeand live your life at your own pace.

Reorder your priorities. It's easy to get into the mindset that themore you do, the better you are. In reality, it's just as important tolearn how to slow down so you can appreciate the small things in life.If you're constantly trying to do too much, you'll miss out on many oflife's most pleasant moments.

"Let go of your attachment tobeing right, and suddenly yourmind is more open. You're able

to benefit from the unique

viewpoints of others, withoutbeing crippled by your own

judgment." ~ Ralph Marston If we insist on being right, the problem is

that we may feel the need to achieve this

by making others wrong, or by controllingand manipulating them, which isolates us

and breaks relationships.

Ten Tips to Find Inner Peace~ by Pete

Bissonette
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It goes without saying that life can be hectic. In fact, morethan one-quarter of women and 21 percent of men ALWAYSfeel rushed (not to mention 36 percent of moms and 25percent of dads), according to a Pew Research Center poll.

Perhaps you fall into this 'harried' group, and perhaps youhave noticed those few among us who seem completelyunfazed by traffic jams, schedules and daily life in general.How can these people feel relaxed, stress-free and happyeven in the midst of all of this chaos? Two words: Innerpeace.

What Is Inner Peace?Inner peace may sound like an oxymoron, but rest assuredit is quite attainable.

"Peace is always available here and now because it is whateveryone has at their core," says Hale Dwoskin, founder ofSedona Training Associates. "Peace is one of the attributesof resting as that presence of awareness that you are."

In other words, inner peace is what's left after all of thedistractions, worries, to-do's, and what ifs have beenquieted. Inner peace is the human equivalent of extra icingon your favorite cake it's your life, but better; it's gravy.

How can you get to a place of inner peace, and join theranks of those happy and disarmingly "together" few? Try

out these simple tips they're an easy way to get moreinner peace in your life, right now.

1. Notice the silence that's here right now."The simplest way to recognize inner peace and experiencethis peace that you are is to simply stop and notice the


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peace or silence that is here now before, during and afterevery thought and experience. It is what experiences appearin or on," Dwoskin says. "Then simply let go of anything thatappears to be disturbing that peace."

So the moment that you start to get boggled down withanything not peaceful, take a step back and realize that,right now, everything is fine, everything is peaceful. If, whenyou take this step back, your mind is flooded with racingthoughts, it's time to let go of these thoughts, quickly, byusingThe Sedona Method.

2. Take a deep breath.Now take another. And another. Breathing is a natural wayof relaxing your body and letting go of stress. Once you startto incorporate deep breaths into your day, you will likelystart to realize just how often you've been holding yours.

3. Turn off the TV.You may think you can't live without next season's 'DancingWith the Stars,' but turning off the television and tuningout of all of its advertisements, violence, and negativecurrent events will give your mind a much-needed break.

4. Excuse yourself from negative conversations (andpeople).There's no law that says you have to stick around to hearyour co-workers go on about how awful their jobs are, or beyour highly critical aunt's "special project." As much aspossible, surround yourself with positive people, and avoidthe negative ones.
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5. Practice forgiveness.This one may not sound 'quick,' but it actually can be. Whyare you still holding on to anger over any past argument orsituation? It is only hurting YOU. You can decide, in thisinstant, to let go of your grudge, and experience how muchmore free and peaceful you feel.

6. Don't take it personally.Though it may sometimes seem that there is a conspiracy tomake all things in your life go wrong, rest assured that theuniverse is not out to get you. In fact, it can actually work

FOR you, if you let it. The more you let the bad things roll offyour back, and let the good things fill you with joy, the morepositive, and peaceful, your life will become.

7. Name five things you're thankful for.Now make this a habit you do every day. If you want,expand the list to 10, 20, or 100 things. Expressing gratitudein this way, as simple as it sounds, will help you to get a

whole lot more out of life.8. Stop being envious.You're not envious, you say? You don't secretly wish youhad a bigger house? A better body? A more perfectmarriage? "Most of us feel envious at least to someextent all the time without even being aware of it,"Dwoskin says. Yet, feeling envious keeps you in a constant

state of noticing what you don't have. Which, of course,draws more lack into your life. When you consciously decideto no longer be envious, you become free and open toanything you desire, including inner peace.


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9. Do something good for yourself, and something goodfor someone else, everyday.Just a small something to remind yourself that there'salways time for a treat, and to treat others. Somesuggestions: pick up coffee on the way to work for youroffice-mate, buy yourself that new book you've beenwanting, go for a long walk after you wake up, or surpriseyour spouse with a love note.

10. Smile and, even better, laugh.Smiling, even if you don't really feel like it, will eventually

help you to feel better. Laughing, as often as you can, isalso great for your mind.

"When I let go of what I am, I becomewhat I might be." ~ Lao-tzu

Non-attachment - even or especially to one's own self-

image - is the necessity for personal change. If we areopen to change and to new possibilities and

perspectives, without buying into them blindly, we cangrow.

Happiness Is Free and It's Easier Than

You Think!~ by Hale DwoskinThe following pointers can be used as daily reminders to live

and enjoy the happiness that is your birthright:
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1.Look for happiness in the right placeWe spend most of our time looking for happiness in allthe wrong places. If you simply look within, you candiscover the source of unlimited happiness now. Also, ifyou examine those things that you think make youhappy, I think you will find this pattern inside. When yousatisfy a particular desire, even temporarily, your mindgets quieter and the happiness that is your natural stateis able to shine through a little more. If you allowyourself to catch this process as it unfolds inside of you,you will learn to take happiness directly from it's source

within you and you will enjoy everything that you haveor do more fully.

2.Stop rushing past lifeHave the attitude of, "I have all the time in the world,"even when working on a deadline. You will not only feelhappier but you will get things done more easily andquickly. If you catch yourself rushing, simply let go of

pushing yourself as best you can and allow yourself totake one step or one action at a time.

3.Let go!This is the core of the Sedona Method! Most of usspend way too much time holding onto what was. If youlet go of what was, and stop dragging it into the presentor projecting it into the future, you can enjoy what is

now.4.Accept what is

When we want to change what is, we suffer. If you justlet go of wanting to change what is as best you can,even for a moment, you are immediately happier. Plus,


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you no longer have to hold onto your problems in orderto change them, and they often change or clear up allby themselves.

5.Give from your heartThe giver is truly blessed. Whenever you give withoutwanting anything in return, even if it is just anunderstanding ear, you are instantly happier. The key isin not expecting to get anything from giving. If you wantto get something back, you are not truly giving and youmiss the blessing of happiness that true giving brings.

6.Give love instead of trying to get itIf you look for others to give you love, you will often beunhappy. However, if you allow yourself to be as lovingas you can for no reason at all, you will instantly feelhappier. As Lester Levenson used to say, "Love, love,love and you will always be happy."

7.Be present with what isIf you are simply present with whatever you areexperiencing now, as opposed to what was or whatmight be, you will find there is no end to yourhappiness. As best you can, take breaks from trying toassign meaning and a history to the sounds, sensationsand pictures that arise in your awareness. Another wayto say this is to welcome whatever arises in yourconsciousness as best you can.

8.Live life wide openEven if there are supposed threats around you, whenyou close off from your environment, you are onlylocking in suffering and holding away happiness. Themore you simply open inside you let the pain you


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already have out and you become transparent to thepain that appears to be coming from outside of you.When you are truly open the pain can't stick to you.

9.Pick agreementsIf you look for things to agree with just as they are, youcan find them, even at your darkest hour. Every timeyou pick an agreement with what is in your experience,you experience more happiness.

10. Expand your awarenessAs you expand your awareness, you expand your

ability to feel happy. You can do this quite simply byallowing your awareness to be as contracted as it isand as expanded as it is. The more you embrace bothsides, the more you can recognize the vastness that isyour basic nature.

11. Accept the possibility of happiness nowMost of us are waiting for something to change in order

to give us an excuse to be happy. If we decide it ispossible to be happy, whether or not that somethingever changes, we can become happy now.

I hope you enjoy working with these simple principles. Ipromise that if you allow yourself to be open to exploringany one of them, you will find yourself with a smile on yourface, happy to be alive here and now.

From my perspective, you are supporting our world byReleasing (using the Sedona Method) to correct your ownproblems and gain your own goals. Lester used to say thatone person with only love in their heart could do more toright the problems of the world than all the people who were


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actively trying to fix it. We all have love in our hearts justbeneath our imagined limitations and every time that youRelease on or about anything you are uncovering more ofyour basic loving nature. Also, I believe every time we let gowe are dissolving limitation out of the mass consciousnessnot just our own.

When we first started teaching the Method in the mid-seventies I remember people wondering whether or notsomeone could use the Method to become more destructiveto their world. In my experience over the years, no matter

where someone may appear to be in their lives when theytake the Method, they have a tendency to get only moreconstructive as they uncover their courageousness,acceptance and peace. The motivation to do things thatmost of us would consider destructive simply dissolves.

Beyond this natural occurrence as you Release, here are acouple of ways you can apply the Method to support the

whole.Hold the Best in MindMost of us, when we think of the world, do not haveparticularly positive pictures. All you have to do is watch orread the news to see what I mean. In fact I hear from manypeople that the news is a significant part of their daily stress.Yet most of us feel compelled to watch, read or hear the

news so we can know what is going on. I have also noticedthat many people simply stop watching the news in ordernot to be influenced by what they view as its negativity. I donot recommend that you obsess over the news however Ialso do not recommend that you cut off from it. What I dorecommend is that as you hear or see the news allow


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yourself to let go of the feelings that it stirs up in you. And ifthere are things in the news that cause you to feel anxiousand resistant let go of the resistance and fear and let go ofyour expectation for those things to happen as best you can.

Allow yourself to picture the world the way you would like itto be and let go of all the feelings inside of you that say itcannot or will not happen. At the same time do your best toaccept it as it is by letting go of wanting to change it. Themore you can accept the world exactly as it is the more youwill be projecting love to the world. By doing this you can

stay informed and at the same time you are contributing tothe solution even if you do not take any outward action. Andif you are going to take action.

Be for the SolutionMany of us, even with the best intentions, find ourselvesbeing "anti" towards what we do not like in the world. Yet ifwe are "anti" something, we are still holding it in mind,

sometimes even more strongly then those who are for it.From my perspective all the anti-war sentiment during theVietnam War for instance did not bring about a quick end tothe conflict, it only prolonged it. Whatever we hold in mindwe are sending energy to and are supporting its creation.Here are some practical examples: Instead of being againstpollution, be pro-environment. Instead of being againstdiscrimination, be pro-equality. Instead of being against war,

be pro-peace. Hold in mind the solution as opposed to theproblem and you will get a lot more done with a lot lesseffort and naturally be more constructive in the process.


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"I look upon my past with acceptance, Iam thankful for today, I have hope for

tomorrow... I am truly blessed andtruly grateful!" ~ Judy Belmont

This is a state of trust and surrender, a kind of innerconfidence to let go. It has a prerequisite of living

according to your values, and your values truly beingyour own. With acceptance and gratitude. Then go

with the flow, because being your true loving self willnaturally create the right circumstances.

Interview about Releasing Emotions-

by Peter Shepherd

Keenan Lee is a freshman attending the University of

Hawaii at Manoa. He had an assignment to interview

someone who is knowledgeable on the research topic'Releasing Emotions.' Happily he found me! These are his

questions:

Q1. How much of a positive effect has the release ofemotions had on your own personal life or the lives of yourstudents/patients? For every ten people who studyReleasing, how many of them fully complete the process?

A:The emotions one needs to Release are those that arefelt to be unpleasant or that stick around long after theywere appropriate, originally as a response to one'sinterpretation (rational or less than rational) of
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circumstances. Since I was trained in Rational EmotivePsychotherapy (RET), which required considerableexperience both as the therapist and client, I have plenty ofevidence concerning the efficacy of this process.

In my personal life, I used to be riddled with fears of whatpeople thought of me and so on, which were based on mylack of self-esteem. Timid Pete! This caused plenty ofpainful feelings in many circumstances and a very limitedlifestyle. Releasing these emotions, re-evaluating the beliefsand finally realizing that I can think, feel and create my life

quite differently, was a transforming experience. Manystudents have described similar stories.

Basic to RET is the principle that emotions follow on fromone's thoughts, and behavior follows on from theseemotions. Releasing of such emotions is fundamental toprogress; one can then examine the underlying beliefs,understand from whence they derived, and so be prepared

to Release the beliefs as well, which gives a full clearing inthe area - one is then able to look objectively in the presentmoment and feel and act accordingly, rather than beingdriven reactively by previous decisions and accompanyingemotions.

When students buy a personal development course, themost common subsequent actions are either to

enthusiastically get on with the course, doing all theexercises and asking questions where necessary; or to bepleased with having bought the course and to proudlyshelve it but never actually begin; or alternatively, to feeblyattempt the first exercise and decide it's too much like hardwork. A few also drop out because they have insufficient


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basic education to follow detailed written instructions orperhaps they are not emotionally stable enough to dosubjective personal exercises.

For every 10 people who do seriously tackle the course, theresults are inevitably positive and the releasing of unwantedemotions is an important element in the latter stages of thecourse - approximately 8 of the 10 reach that stage andbenefit significantly from Releasing, as best I can tell.

Q2.I understand that you received training in RationalEmotive Therapy (RET). What exactly is Rational Emotive

Therapy? Where did you go for training? Have you taught atany educational institutions or just online via the internet?

A:RET is a form of psychotherapy devised by Arthur Ellis,an American, in the 70's. It's described by mehere.I tookup psychotherapy in my 30's and did a Diploma in RET at acollege in London. I taught courses in person in connectionwith the company Mental Development, Ltd in the early 90salongside a psychotherapy practice, and in the last fewyears have devoted my time to the online project you see atTrans4mind. There is more personal biography here.

Q3.Could you please go over the Releasing procedure stepby step. What is different about 'RET'?

A:My personal interpretation of the Releasing procedure is

described by me here.Lester's technique is well knownamongst humanistic and transpersonal psychologypractitioners. There's nothing unique - there rarely is as it'slife we're talking about here, we all have these phenomenawithin us to observe - the principles are straightforward, but
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no one packaged it quite so clearly and in such a focusedway before.

RET is quite different from emotional releasing. RET traces

back from a painful or inappropriate behavior, to themotivating emotion, the circumstances in which that istriggered, and then looks for the distortion in rationality thatcauses the emotion, and then disputes that rationality until amore appropriate and objective view is discovered thatrelieves the thought-feeling-behavior pattern. The releasetechnique just deals with one element here, making the

emotion more accepted, with responsibility for it's creation,so that it is easier to see the situation more clearly, with lessattachment. The two principles and techniques complementeach other, which is why I combine them in my courses.And there are other elements, such as early traumaticinfluences and deeper handling of suppressed internalconflicts that neither technique really covers, and I includehandling for these in my courses too, just as a

psychotherapist uses an arsenal of techniques asappropriate for his client, but only as needed, not all at once.And what I do is not psychotherapy - a person needs one-to-one expert care for that - but tools for personal growthand transformation for people who are already happy andhealthy. Some of these tools cross over from psychotherapybut some are designed to increase awareness andresponsibility in way that one would not expect a personneeding psychological help to be interested in.

Q4.Have there ever been any unsuccessful attempts for aperson to release their emotions? What problems arose thatimpeded them from fully completing the process? What can


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be done to assist those who have difficulty with the releasetechnique?

A:Yes, people can be unsuccessful with Releasing. This

occurs primarily through not persisting sufficiently with thetechnique to obtain the expected result. It may feel like'nothing is happening', or the technique may re-stimulate alot of painful memories. These phenomena have to beworked through, and this requires either trust or strongmotivation, and without a therapist to guide them, somestudents may not have enough of either to complete the

process. Another factor is when the instructions have notbeen properly understood or are misinterpreted, sosomething quite different is actually practiced than theintended technique.

Techniques can be over-done too, in the attempt to achievean unrealistic goal, which invalidates what is actually beingachieved. Most often in personal development it's many

small gains that add up to the breakthroughs, and they areeasily taken for granted and 'absorbed'. And so one canalso fail to recognize even the big changes - though anotherperson may more easily see these changes for the bettergoing on.

Those who have difficulty need to communicate theirsituation to an experienced support person, who can guide

them through to success. Those doing theNew Life Coursehave my support through email, and I also offer the same tothose who are simply practicing what they read inTransforming the Mind, my online book. Those who do theformal Sedona Method courses, which offer a complete andin-depth program, can also take advantage of their support
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structure - and they should as really that is the main itemthey have bought with their purchase of theSedonaMethod(the actual CDs being of relatively little cost).

Q5.Are there some emotions that you or yourstudents/patients have difficulty releasing? If you are willing,could you please disclose the circumstances that make ithard for you or your students/patients to release thatemotion?

A:Emotions can be hard to Release if in some way they areserving the person. We often tend to justify those of our

actions that we know to be wrong, by suppressing thatknowledge and replacing it with beliefs (and subsequentemotions) that make ourselves right, and the other wrong.So we may be reluctant to let go of hate or antagonism thatwe are convincing ourselves is deserved. Or before wereach that stage, we may feel ashamed and unwilling totake responsibility for our actions. Releasing can only fully

resolve when accompanied by acceptance of ourresponsibility for (as creator of) our beliefs, feelings andactions.

A fear may seem subjectively rational and justified, so whylet it go? Stuck emotions generally seem 'right' andappropriate to us, or we would not stick with them.Releasing aims to get through this barrier by demonstrating

that since we can consciously recreate the stuck emotion,then we are indeed creating the emotion, rather than it beingcaused by past events or other peoples' actions. When weare no longer so identified with the emotion but realize thatwe are creating it, and can take responsibility for that, the
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underlying beliefs come into the open and we can see moreeasily what is rational and what isn't.

Q6.What were some of the problems regarding your own or

your student's/patient's thinking/thought process that causedyou/them to have problems when dealing with troublingemotions?

A:People are naturally somewhat afraid of emotions, in thatthey can be 'carried away' by them, even to lose themselvesand their sanity if they are not careful. It is only really bysuccessfully practicing Releasing that one comes to

understand that we are truly the master of emotions and nottheir slave.

Q7.What is the most difficult part in trying to release anemotion? Which step of the process poses the mostdifficulty?

A:For many people, the initial stage of creating the emotion

deliberately and consciously, is the hardest. We tend tosuppress painful emotions to protect ourselves, and it ischaracteristic of male cultural conditioning in particular tosuppress 'weak' feelings. It's not always easy to 'get into' thefeeling - and when we have done, we may wish we hadn't,as it may cause us considerable discomfort. Nevertheless,the way out is the way through, these stuck/hidden emotionsare ruling our lives and only by becoming master of themcan we reclaim our personal power and freedom. Thisrequires acceptance, not resistance as we might havethought.


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to it, you are realizing you are MORE THAN that emotion.This is the spiritual aspect. Who realizes that? The HigherSelf. The part of you that is more than a body-mind, which isyour connection with or portal to, God.

Q9.Besides RET and the Release technique, are thereother ways a person can release emotions? What are yourfeelings on meditation and other forms of stress relievers?What are your feelings on those exercises that simply blockout the negative emotions? (i.e. running to get one's mindoff of the stress at work) Would you consider these

exercises to be effective 'release techniques'?A:Any technique that increases acceptance (rather thanresistance, which is not the same as blind agreement)awareness and personal responsibility for one's owncreation, facilitates releasing emotions. The method ofReleasing is only one aspect of my work because we aremulti-faceted spirit-mind-body creatures and therefore an

holistic approach is necessary for profound growth. theNewLife CourseandHolosyncare examples of complementaryapproaches to growth.

Meditation can be used for opening the mind and acceptingand releasing - such as 'mindfulness meditation'. But sometypes of mantra meditation can create a wall of suppressionand actually work against increasing awareness. Same with

anything that blocks out reality - it can give temporary reliefbut not any kind of resolution. That requires viewing what is,as it is, in order to learn the lessons that will free you in thataspect of your life.
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Q10.What are your feelings toward people who adopt an 'Idon't care' attitude, who never bother to pay any attention totheir problematic emotions? Would you consider this to behealthy or unhealthy? Would there be any effects (positiveor negative) in the long term as a result of this pattern ofthinking/behavior?

A:If you don't care about personal growth, that's OK. Youmight be quite happy and you will stay that way, untilsomething happens that you don't have the resources andwisdom to handle - then you may go downhill. Or you may

get old and wonder where your life went, since you hadbeen living in a safe but limiting cocoon. Or you might bepretending you're quite happy, because you don't want toface that actually you are living someone else's life ratherthan what you want to be doing, and that you spendconsiderable effort avoiding things you don't want toconfront. Or you might consider than painful emotions arejust a part of life that is inevitable, and you can continue to

live with this suffering. Most people do nothing, and sohuman nature continues to create all the problems that wesee in the world, on a personal, familial and social/politicalscale. But it is possible to 'find ourselves' through releasingthe limitations we impose on ourselves as a result of ourupbringing and negative learning experiences. Only such aperson can fully and freely love - without judgment - theirfellow man. Yes, it gets spiritual again. This is a Christconsciousness we're talking about, and it's what the worldneeds - without all the false dogma and politicalmanipulation we see with established religions and cults.


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"Let go of what you can't control.Channel all that energy into living fully

in the now." ~ Karen SalmansohnIt does not help to suppress feelings; it's notemotionally intelligent. For example, you may try topush back feelings of frustration or annoyance in order

to appear more loving and accepting. A good intentionfor sure, but not genuine and therefore stressful for

you. Instead, first you need to experience theseemotions, to realize that you are creating them and bewilling to let them go. Simply release them. THEN you

can be genuinely and effortlessly loving.It's mindfulness: spot the negative feeling, realize youare creating it, let it go and just be yourself.

Follow Your Heart~ by Pete Bissonette

You know how it feels when you truly follow your heart. Every inch of your

body the very fabric of your soul feels alive. And even if your head istelling you "no", you do it anyway because something bigger, somethingmore primal, is telling you "yes".

"You know when you are following your heart because it will feel right evenif your mind is uncomfortable," says Hale Dwoskin, founder of SedonaTraining Associates. "You will feel an openness and aliveness as youfollow what is true for you."

Now, when's the last time you followed that feeling? Really threw caution to

the wind and went full speed ahead for an opportunity, relationship orexperience that made you tingle with excitement? Been awhile?

For most adults, the answer is yes. As kids, though, we did it all the time.

People believe in beings in their youth like Santa Claus and the Easterbunny not because it really made sense, but because it felt right to their
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hearts. We have probably all made pledges to remain "best friends forever"not because we thought it out, but because we felt it should be so. And wecaught fireflies, had lemonade stands, and played endless hours of tag not because we thought we should, but because we couldn't imagine lifewithout it.

As we grow older, though, our heads often get in the way. They're filledwith reasons we shouldn't, things that could go wrong, or more importantthings to do. And, perhaps worst of all, they become very susceptible to theopinions of others, including those of society.

Whose Life Is It Anyway?This is the question you need to ask yourself. Whose life is it that you areliving?

Think a moment before you answer. Are you working in a job that makessense or that you love? Do you surround yourself with people who youshould associate with, or those that you adore? And are you living your lifethe way that you want to, or the way that someone else your parents,your spouse, society wants you to?

If you can't answer the original question with a heartfelt "MINE!" then yougot to this article just in time. What follows is the secret to living YOUR lifeYOUR way.

Learning to Follow Your HeartFollowing your heart is a two-step process. The first step is letting go ofyour need for approval. This opens the door to things like splashingbarefoot through a fountain, giggling at completely inappropriate times, andstriking up conversations with total strangers. Because, you see, once youstop caring about what other people think of you, you start caring aboutwhat you really want to do.

The second step of the process, then, is learning what it is you truly want.

This can be tricky because society conditions us to want certain things(from material possessions to life arrangements). In reality, you may wantnone of those, or you may want them all. Either way is fine, the key is tonotice and realize what your heart is telling you. If you listen, you can do nowrong.


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"If you are feeling some doubt it does not mean that the message shouldnot be trusted," Dwoskin says. "It simply means that it is time to let go.When you are wondering whether or not a message is coming from yourheart, simply let go. As you let go you will gain greater clarity. If themessage is coming from your heart it will simply get quieter and clearer andif it is coming from your mind it will just dissolve."

"Hope is a waking dream." ~ AristotleWithout hope we do nothing; with it we are motivated again, ourvision is illuminated and becomes achievable. Hope is being alive.

The Question I Can't Ask~ by Karen Wright

The sweet soothing sounds of the song Nightingaleby Nora Jones stabbedme dead-center on a lazy drive home today. I've heard the tune manytimes, but never these words - never this clearly. " Does i t seem l ike I'mlooking for an answer to a quest ion I can't ask?"Songwriters aregeniuses of the soul. One sentence distilled the enormity of personal angstinto a few haunting words.

Looking for answers - who isn't? We're all endlessly seeking advice,devouring how-to best sellers, and praying for divine guidance. Perpetuallyfeeling that something isn't quite right with this life. Something'smissingor forgotten. Like rousing from a sound sleep and being lost inthe haze between clarity and slumber. All askew.

But most, if asked, can't clearly articulate what it is they're trying to find ananswer to. And that is the very reason the answer remains elusive. Orperhaps I should say: the reason the answer remains invisible. Answersaren't recognized as answers until the question forms. Until then, answers

are just bits and piece of static.

In the past ten years I've become infatuated with questions. Not anyparticular questions. Just with the purpose and potential they innatelypossess. I imagine questions as cosmic crowbars prying open life'sprecious secrets. Asking the right question - at the right time, is like
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performing magic. What was hidden becomes clear; what was impossibledissolves into "of course!"

We're pretty good at asking certain types of questions. Especially the onesthat deflect attention away from our own responsibilities and onto otherpeoples' choices, the economy, authority figures, acts of God. "So, whycan't theydo something about this?" Those questions - no problem. Wehave them down pat.

The problem is, deflecting questions never improves our lot in life. It's ashill game whose only purpose is to deceive us into believing that othersneed to solve our problems and answer our questions.

The real leverage of a question worth asking is to create an opening. A

space void of glib comebacks. What are the questions worth asking? Theyare legion, but they all share one quality that is unmistakable - theiranswers are forged in impeccable Truth. Not the popular truth or the truththat easily allays confusion. But, a Truth that stops your heart and stealsyour breath. Just for a second. And in that second you know that youcannot lie and cannot avoid. There's no point - this isn't a game - it's yourlife and it's who you are.

Am I living a life that honors all I touch? Are my relationships clean? Do I serve that which is most important to me? Can I tell the truth even when I feel shame? Am I willing to let those I love be who they t ru lyare? Can I help more than I'm helping? Can I afford not to? Can I hang on to who I am if it means being rejected by another? Am I happy? Do I know who I am - really?

Any one of these questions, if asked honestly and humbly, will reveal youto you. And you may not like what you seeat first. The answers may notbe kind. They may not be what society says they should be. They maymake you ashamed. It's not the answer which has made you feel what youfeel. It's your judgment of yourself and falling short of the perfection you'd


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prefer to believe you are. Don't hide from the truth. It closes the door onceagain on your freedom.

We could argue all day about whether you are perfect or not - and whatperfection is. But, the real issue here is that you will judge yourself to beimperfect and you will want to hide that from all eyes - even your own.

If you have judged that you are selfish or hurtful or weak - so be it. Noticethat nothing catastrophic happened with the admission. As a matter of fact,

just the opposite. To admit to yourself that you're selfish is to notice thatyou've chosen to live in a way that isn't what you want any more. If it was,you'd have never noticed being selfish. You just wouldn't be aware of it.Name it, let it be the truth, then let it go.

Yes, it is that easy. The actions and words and behaviors you've definedyourself by in the past were simply a choice. Predicated upon your beliefthat the choice would serve you. If it no longer does, chose again. If selfishfeels wrong to you now, then be generous. Be loving. Be patient. Pick it up,put it on and just be that.

Do it for you. Do it because if feels better and you like your self more whenyou do. Don't do it to get the praise of others. They may not notice or maynot notice the changed you. That doesn't matter. Remember, this is aboutliving your truth as closely as you can each day. This is about living your

life, forgiving missteps (yours and others), and being grateful that you'vefound your cosmic crowbar.

What is the question being asked of you?

"The real art of conversation is not only

to say the right thing at the right placebut to leave unsaid the wrong thing atthe tempting moment." ~ Dorothy

Nevill


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It's easy to assume too much and rush into quick

judgments but they're usually better kept to oneself.Concentrate instead on really understanding the otherperson's point of view so when one does speak it's

constructive.

How to Overcome the Trust Deficit~ by

Dr. Alan R. Zimmerman

For an organization to have staying power, it must be builton trust. For a business to be profitable, it must have thetrust of its customers. And for a relationship to have anydegree of quality, it must be filled with trust. As I often tellmy audiences, "Trust is a must or the relationship will bust."

Unfortunately, we are suffering from a trust deficit. Indeed,we have a trust deficit in this country as big if not bigger

than the federal deficit. Almost everybody is wondering whothey can trust.

You see it in RELATIONSHIPS ... where cynicism hasovertaken faith. Many people feel like singer Rod Stewartquipped, "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to finda woman I don't like and just give her a house."

You see it in the MEDIA ... where biased advocacy hasreplaced unbiased reporting. As Alvin Toffler, the author of"Future Shock," wrote, "We are increasing thesophistication of deception faster than the technology ofverification. The consequence of that is the end of truth. Thedark side of the information technology explosion is that it
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will breed a population that believes nothing, and perhapseven more dangerous, a population ready to believe onlyone 'truth' fanatically and willing to kill for it."

And you see the trust deficit in POLITICS ... where theoccasional stupidity of some politicians has gotten moreattention than the good things they have accomplished. Yousimply expect the talk shows to be filled with jokes aboutpoliticians. As Groucho Marx put it, "Politics is the art oflooking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing itincorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies."

More recently, Jay Leno noted, "Barack Obama said todaythat politics has become too gummed up by money andinfluence ... and then he had to leave to attend afundraiser."

David Letterman asked, "How about Mitt Romney? Nowthere's a guy who looks like you would see his picture on apackage of men's briefs."

And humorist P. J. O'Rourke said, "The Democrats are theparty of government activism, the party that saysgovernment can make you richer, smarter, taller, and getthe chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the partythat says government doesn't work, and then get electedand prove it."

The point is simple. If we're going to have organizations andrelationships that work, we've got to be in the business oftrust building. As Dr. Manny Steil, the author of "ListeningLeaders," says, "The challenge of establishing trustingrelationships takes time, for trust does not sprout quickly or
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automatically last forever. Rather it emerges over time andrequires careful ongoing attention."

He's right. Trust "requires careful ongoing attention." I've

found the following elements to be critical in that process....

1. Be open.Tell it the way you see it. Share the way you feel. Refrainfrom being secretive or coy. Let people know you ...because it's very difficult to trust an unknown commodity.

It's a lesson that Rusty had to learn the hard way. As his

friend Mike Hanson from Rapid City, South Dakotadescribed it, they were at a dance one night ... during whichRusty struck up a conversation with an attractive youngwoman. Soon afterwards, Rusty came over to Mike with abig smile on his face and a scrap of paper in his hand.

"She works for the phone company, and I think she likes mebecause she gave me her number." Rusty beamed. Then

he unfolded the paper. It read "Dial 0."

She wasn't open ... which was her choice, of course. But alack of openness will always destroy trust ... if that is whatyou are trying to establish.

By contrast, Jack Benny demonstrated his willingness to beseriously open despite the fact he was a well-known

comedian. He did that when he was invited to perform at theWhite House.

When he arrived at the White House gate with his violincase under his arm, a burly guard blocked his way andtersely asked what was in the case. "A machine gun,"


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Benny replied. The guard said, "Oh that's fine, Mr. Benny.Go right in. For a moment there I was afraid it was yourviolin."

Quick to respond, Benny said, "I'm not going to play theviolin, I promise. But I'm gong to talk about some things thatmay be equally unpleasant."

If you're going to build trust, you've got to be open. That'swhy my book on "Brave Questions: Building StrongerRelationships By Asking All The Right Questions"continues to be so popular and why it's going into it's fifth

printing.

Beyond openness, you must...

2. Be honest.The fact is ... dishonesty and trust cannot co-exist. You'vegot to be honest ... even if it hurts you once in a while.

One employee should have known better when shereceived an unusually large pay check one day. But shedecided not to say anything about it. The following week hercheck was less than the normal amount; so she confrontedher boss about it.

Her supervisor asked, "How come you didn't say anythingwhen you were overpaid?" Unruffled the employee replied,

"Well I can overlook one mistake -- but two in a row?"

The employee's lack of candor did nothing but hurt theirworking relationship. After all, as author and columnistPeggy Noonan observed, "Candor is a compliment; itimplies equality. It's how true friends talk."
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?tag=trans4mind-20&path=tg/detail/-/096568332Xhttp://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?tag=trans4mind-20&path=tg/detail/-/096568332Xhttp://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?tag=trans4mind-20&path=tg/detail/-/096568332Xhttp://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?tag=trans4mind-20&path=tg/detail/-/096568332X


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One caution: Some people think that they've found a realfriend or a true ally if another person will lie for them -occasionally - when needed. I don't buy it. I say, "Peoplewho will lie for you will lie to you." They can't be trusted.

3. Be competent.You probably know people who have the previous twoqualities; they're open and honest. But you still can't trustthem because they're incompetent.

I see it all too often when I'm speaking in organizations.Many people are promoted to a position of leadership

because of their technical competence, but they may not beinterpersonally competent. And then everyone suffers as aresult.

To inspire trust and confidence in people, a leader musthave a degree of competence in both areas. If the leaderdoesn't have that, if the leader is incompetent, he takes thefocus off the organization's vision and values and places iton to his own behavior. If the people working for anincompetent leader have a high degree of skill, they'recontinually worrying about their leader messing things up.And if the employees don't have much experience, theywon't know what to do.

Either way, productivity and morale suffer when people can'tbe trusted.

4. Be concerned about the other person's welfare.To have someone trust you, they need to know that youhave a genuine interest in their interests. Indeed, the bestsalespeople do it all the time. They get to know their


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customers and prospects. They learn about their customers'and prospects' likes and dislikes, goals, dreams, petpeeves, hobbies, and hot buttons.

One of my friends demonstrated that when she called herfather from the Lowe's Motor Speedway in Charlotte. Inamazement, he asked her what she was doing at the racetrack.

She replied, "As you know, Dad, as a sales manager mostof my customers are home builders. Every time we'retogether, all they seem to talk about is NASCAR racing. If

I'm going to have a chance of beating out my competitors inthis market, I'm going to have to be able to participate inconversations that include NASCAR. That's why I'm here."

Her interest in her customers' interests made her a trustedvendor ... much more so than any other salesperson whojust walked in the door to get the sale. She learned abouttheir interests and was able to talk to them about thosethings.

But she also gave her customers the listening they needed.One of the surest ways to build trust and make someonefeel important is to listen ... really listen to them. And bycontrast, the refusal to listen to someone is just about thesurest way of making them feel unimportant and unwilling totrust you.

One little listening tip here. When the other person asks youa question, in addition to listening carefully to what he/shehas to say, pause before you answer them. This gives them


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the impression you have thought about what they said and itwas worthy of thinking over.

5. Display good judgment.

You may know someone who does all of the above. Theyare open, honest, competent, and concerned, but you stilldon't trust them ... because they display poor judgment. Itdoesn't mean that they are necessarily bad people, but yousimply cannot trust the judgments they make. They seem tolack the wisdom or common sense that makes it possible totrust them in certain areas or with certain tasks.

So yes, you have to be discerning with whom you trust withwhat.

Such was the case with little Maggie. When her motherbecame sick with the flu and had to stay in bed, Maggiewanted to be a good nurse. She fluffed the pillows andbrought a magazine to her mother to read. And then sheeven showed up with a surprise cup of tea.

"Why, you're such a sweetheart," the mother said as shedrank the tea. "I didn't know you even knew how to maketea."

"Oh yes," the little girl replied. "I learned by watching you. Iput the tea leaves in the teapot, and then I put in the water. Iboiled it and then I strained it into a cup. But I couldn't find a

strainer, so I used the fly swatter instead."

"You what?" the mother screamed. The little girl said, "Oh,don't worry, Mom. I didn't use the new fly swatter. I used theold one!"


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Obviously she had good intentions but poor judgment.

Follow points 1 through 5. You will build trust and you will betrusted. In fact, you will build relationships that have

tremendous staying power.

Edward Reede from U.S. Army told me about that when Iwas speaking at his military base. He said, "I grew up nearAmish farmers. They were loyal to a fault to their seed andfertilizer suppliers. I even knew one elderly man, who hadretired from his seed trade twenty years earlier, but had toplace orders for his Amish neighbors each Spring because

of the special trust he developed with them. The Amishwouldn't go to anyone else."

Action:What are you doing to maintain and/or build the trust in yourrelationships? What else do you need to do?


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