Improving Communication

Climate & Conflicts

Chapter 10 & 11

Communication Climate

Describes:• Quality of personalrelationships

• Emotional tone

Confirming Communication-Messages that convey value

Types of confirming messages:

Recognition- recognize the other person. (there are many times that people don’t respond on this basic level)

Acknowledgment- Listening is the most common form of acknowledgment

(being interested in others ideas)

Endorsement- You agree with others ideas and find them important

Disconfirming Communication

Messages that show a lack of regardTypes of disconfirming message: Verbal Abuse- Communication that appears to be

meant to cause psychological pain to another person.

Complaining Impervious response- ignoring the other person’s

attempt to communicate Interrupting-beginning to speak before the other

person has finished speaking Irrelevant response- a comment unrelated to what

the other person has just said

Tangential response- instead of ignoring the speakers remarks completely, the other party uses them as a starting point for a shift to a different topic

Impersonal response- loaded with clichés and other statements that never truly respond to the speaker.

Ambiguous response- contain messages with more than one meaning, leaving the other party unsure of the responders position.

Incongruous response-contain two messages that seem to deny or contradict each other.

Climate Development1. When Communication begins

• Spiral: reciprocating communication style

• Escalatory Conflict Spiral: disconfirming messages are reinforced

• De-escalatory Conflict spirals: parties lessen dependence

Defensiveness

Face-threatening acts: Messages that challenge your imageDefensive SupportiveEvaluation DescriptionControl Problem OrientationStrategy SpontaneityNeutrality EmpathySuperiority EqualityCertainty Provisionalism

Dealing with Criticism

Criticism can start a cycle of defensiveness that pollutes the communication climate between people or working groups.

Offering Constructive Criticism-the way you present your comments can make a difference between their being accepted and considered or being disputed and rejected.

Consider the contentConsider the sender

Consider the relational climateConsider the delivery

Responding to CriticismSeek more information

Agree with criticismWork for a cooperative solution

Conflict ManagementChapter 11

“Nothing can be changed until it is faced”

James Baldwin

Conflict

An expressed dissatisfaction An expressed disagreement with:

An interactionA processA productA service

A. Negatives & Positives of Conflict

1. negativesa. increased negative

regard for otherb. close yourself off

from the other

I. Nature of Conflict

2. positives

1. forces you to examine a problem

2. allows you to express yourself

3. prevents hostilities from building up

B. Content vs. Relational Conflict

1. Content = over objects, events,

and persons external to the dyad

2. Relational =

between the two individuals involved

Approaches to Conflict

A. Avoidance = physically leaving to ignoring

1. Nonnegotiation = special type of

avoidance

2. should actively participate in the

fight

Competing-assuming that the only way for a party to reach its goal is to overcome the other.

Verbal Aggressiveness = method of winning an argument by

inflicting psychological pain

B. Force = physical and/or emotional

Letstalk

C. Face Detracting & Enhancing Strategies

1. detracting = treating the other as incompetent, untrustworthy, or bad

2. enhancing = treating the other as competent, trustworthy, or good

E. Argumentativeness = willingness to stand up and argue for your point of view

Accommodating-giving ground as a way of maintaining harmony.

Collaborating: meeting one’s needs and those of others

Compromising: Each party sacrifices something to gain an agreement.

C. Conflict & Culture1. differ in how they

define/evaluate conflict2. differ in perceptions of

abuse3. differ in the types of

conflicts that will arise

Effective Conflict Management

Be knowledgeable and respectful of different worldviews.

Engage in “mindfulness”Create new categoriesBe open to new informationBe aware that multiple perspectives

typically exist in viewing a basic event.

II. Model of Conflict ResolutionA. Define the conflict

1. both content and relational conflict

2. with specific, behavioral terms

3. focus on the present

4. use empathy5. avoid blame6. use empathic

understanding7. avoid mindreading

Negotiation Styles and Outcomes

Win-lose- one party gets what they want, the other comes up short

Lose-Lose-neither side is satisfied with the outcome

Compromise-both sides at least get some of what they wanted, through sacrifice of part of their goals

Win Win-find a solution that satisfies the needs of everyone involved

B. Examine Possible Solutions

1. look for a win-win situation

True Collaboration

2. avoid a win-lose situation

Win the battle - lose the war

C. Test Solution = put the plan into action

D. Evaluate the Solution = according to the criteria previously established

E. Accept or Reject the Solution

accept Reject

Handling Conflicts Assertively

Identify the goal you are seeking Choose the best time to speak Rehearse the statement Pinpoint the specific behavior you

want to discuss Explain your reaction to the behavior Make a request Describe the consequences

Conflict Management A case study

A primary school teacher (3rd grade) has had some discipline problems in her classroom. Several students have been chronically disruptive. The teacher has disciplined them in various ways (e.g., verbal warnings, extra homework, and detention) with little success. The students’ clownish antics threaten to turn the classroom into a zoo. As a “last resort she sends the disruptive students to the principal whose policy is that of corporal punishment. The teacher is uncomfortable with this policy, but desperate. The spankings temporarily reduced the disruption but it is beginning to increase again.

To make matters worse, now the entire class sees the teacher as an insensitive ogre. In addition, the parents have verbally accosted the teacher for sending their kids to be spanked. The teacher is beginning to lose motivation and the classroom has become a battlefield. Little learning is taking place. Parents are upset with the teacher, the students are upset with the teacher, and the teacher hasn’t a clue how to proceed.

All right you brilliant conflict mangers, help this teacher. What should the teacher do?

What are some of the cultural issues addressed in this case study?

What conflict style did the teacher use?

What conflict style would you use?

What are some helpful tools we can use assist the teacher?