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SCENE II. The highway, near Gadshill.Enter PRINCE HENRY and
POINSPOINSCome, shelter, shelter: I have removed Falstaff'shorse,
and he frets like a gummed velvet.PRINCE HENRYStand close.Enter
FALSTAFFFALSTAFFPoins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!PRINCE
HENRYPeace, ye fat-kidneyed rascal! what a brawling dostthou
keep!FALSTAFFWhere's Poins, Hal?PRINCE HENRYHe is walked up to the
top of the hill: I'll go seek him.FALSTAFFI am accursed to rob in
that thief's company: therascal hath removed my horse, and tied him
I knownot where. Eight yards of unevenground is threescore and ten
miles afoot with me;and the stony-hearted villain knows it well
enough:a plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to
another!
A plague upon you all! Give me my horse, yourogues; give me my
horse, and be hanged!PRINCE HENRYPeace, ye fat-guts! lie down; lay
thine ear closeto the ground and list if thou canst hear the
treadof travellers.FALSTAFFHave you any levers to lift me up again,
being down?I prithee, good Prince Hal, help me to my horse,good
king's son.PRINCE HENRYOut, ye rogue! shall I be your
ostler?FALSTAFFGo, hang thyself in thine own
heir-apparentGarters.Enter BARDOLPH and PETOPETOStand.FALSTAFFSo I
do, against my will.POINSBardolph,what news?BARDOLPH
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Case ye, case ye; on with your vizards: there 'smoney of the
king's coming down the hill.PRINCE HENRYSirs, you four shall front
them in the narrow lane;Ned Poins and I will walk lower: if they
'scapefrom your encounter, then they light on us.PETOThere's enough
to make us all.POINSSirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the
hedge:when thou needest him, there thou shalt find him.Farewell,
and stand fast.PRINCE HENRYNed, where are our disguises?POINSHere,
hard by: stand close.Exeunt PRINCE HENRY and POINSFALSTAFFNow, my
masters, happy man be his dole, say I:every man to his
business.Enter the TravellersFirst TravellerCome, neighbour: the
boy shall lead our horses downthe hill; we'll walk afoot awhile,
and ease our legs.ThievesStand!TravellersJesus bless
us!FALSTAFFStrike; down with them; cut the villains' throats:ah!
whoreson caterpillars! bacon-fed knaves!TravellersO, we are
undone!FALSTAFFHang ye, gorbellied knaves, are ye undone? No, yefat
chuffs: I would your store were here!Here they rob them and bind
them. ExeuntRe-enter PRINCE HENRY and POINSPRINCE HENRYThe thieves
have bound the true men. Now could thouand I rob the thieves and go
merrily to London, itwould be argument for a week, laughter for a
monthand a good jest for ever.POINSStand close; I hear them
coming.Enter the Thieves againFALSTAFFCome, my masters, let us
share, and then to horsebefore day. An the Prince and Poins be not
two
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arrant cowards, there's no equity stirring: there's no more
valour in that Poins than in a wild-duck.PRINCE HENRYYour
money!POINSVillains!
As they are sharing, the Prince and Poins set upon them; they
all run away; andFalstaff, after a blow or two, runs away too,
leaving the booty behind themPRINCE HENRYGot with much ease. Now
merrily to horse:
Away, good Ned. Falstaff sweats to death,And lards the lean
earth as he walks along:Were 't not for laughing, I should pity
him.POINSHow the rogue roar'd!Exeunt
