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1
IEP MEETINGS WHEN
PARENTS ARE IN CONFLICT
ODE/COSA Fall Conference for Special Education Administrators
October 3rd, 2013
Marshall Peter, DirectorCenter for Appropriate Dispute Resolution in
Special EducationEugene, Oregon
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Voices from the field…
Variety of issues and controversies in special education law over the years…
One issue that has not received much attention in the literature but is an ever‐greater discussion item among practitioners:
What do administrators, teachers and related service providers do when parents [divorced, separated, never married, etc.] engage in highly contentious behavior during IEP and related meetings?
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What is contentious behavior?
…you know it when you see it… Off‐task sidebar conversations
Criticism by one parent toward the other parent for alleged offenses unrelated to the topic for the meeting
Bringing up issues that are designed to be a source of embarrassment to the other parent
Overtures to team members to establish alliances with them so that they will support the “good” parent against the “bad” parent
Verbal and/or physical aggression
Non‐verbal behavior: eye rolling, sighs, head shaking
Participation of unwanted individuals: former in‐laws, new partners or spouses, advocates or attorneys hired by each parent
Disagreement by one parent with the recommendations of the team in order to annoy the other parent; example – parent may withdraw permission for testing after approval is granted by the other parent
Why does this happen at IEP meetings?
The presence of the other parent can be a source of extreme discomfort
The idea that the other parent has a role in educational decision making can be resented by one parent, particularly if that parent has primary day‐to‐day care of the child
Main reason: the parents may only be in the same room during IEP meetings; it is tempting to use this forum to express the anger, anguish, and rage from the marriage and post‐marriage period
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Seeking Guidance
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IDEA makes the assumption that parents speak with one voice and will have similar views in educational decision making.
IDEA does not withdraw educational decision making from the noncustodial parent; educational decision making is not solely in the province of the custodial parent – both parents have an equal role.
Divorce decrees may specify the role of parents in medical and educational decision making.
Very challenging situations: restraining orders; ex parteorders; requirement that parents not be within each other’s presence.
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“In The Best Interests of the Child: IEP Meetings When Parents Are In Conflict”
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New CADRE Resource (Feinberg, Moses, Engiles & Peter)
~Methodology~
1) Conducted Literature Review
2) Conducted online survey (n=154)
Broad range of stakeholders, geographic diversity
3) Conducted 35 interviews
Broad range of stakeholders including: parent center leaders, mediators/facilitators, DR program managers, advocates & attorneys, Part C experts, LEA service providers, teachers & administrators
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Prevention Strategies
Planning and Preparing for IEP Meetings LEA Self‐Assessment of Its Approach to High Stress Meetings
Professional Development for LEA Staff
Skill Building for Other IEP Team Members
Team Planning Meeting
Pre‐meeting Phone Calls to Parents
Use of Electronic Communications
Separate Meeting Spaces, Separate Meetings
Student Participation
Parent Mentoring
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Prevention Strategies
At the IEP Meeting Meeting Time
Arrival/Waiting Area
Personal Needs
Arrangement of Meeting Space/Seating
Introductions and Name Cards
Review Meeting Schedule/Timeline and Agenda
Rules and Etiquette
Parking Lot
Reports and Discussion
Closure and Planning/Preparations for Next Meeting
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Staying Child‐Focused Strategies
Bring a photo of the child
Meeting with trusted third party (family counselor, spiritual advisor, facilitator) to work through areas of disagreement relating to their child’s education
When the child is not present, invite participants to pause for a moment and imagine the student is present at the meeting
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Make contact with the parents after the meeting.
Gather input on their experience with the meeting/process.
This “debrief” can provide an opportunity to…
learn about the team’s meeting process and how it worked
what resources the parents might need
Follow‐up/After the MeetingStrategies
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Third Party Process Strategies
IEP Meeting Facilitation ‐ a facilitator can make the team’s work smoother by supporting clear communication and a structured/focused process.
Mediation ‐ a mediator outside the IDEA requirements may be useful for resolving differences between family members and act as a stepping stone to a more productive and less contentious IEP meeting.
Consensus Development Conference ‐ similar to mediation but with a strong focus on resolving differences related to the development of an IEP, i.e., present levels of performance, strengths, challenges, goals, supports, etc.
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The Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.
Cultural Diversity
Subscribe to The CADRE Caucus!
The CADRE Caucus, our free, brief electronic newsletter, periodically updates subscribers on new features and resources found at the CADRE website and in the world of special education
conflict resolution.
Sign up on the sheets that are circulating right now!
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Questions or
Concerns?