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Page 1: I stopped calling - BBCdownloads.bbc.co.uk/historyofthebbc/2001-pages.pdfI stopped being a charming, funny young man and become middle- aged. It's like being in a pop group. If Tony
Page 2: I stopped calling - BBCdownloads.bbc.co.uk/historyofthebbc/2001-pages.pdfI stopped being a charming, funny young man and become middle- aged. It's like being in a pop group. If Tony

"I stopped calling Blair 'Tony' when

he became PM"

ITV Election 200

Thursday ITV

_JOHN SERGEANT

As the election reaches fever pitch, ITN's political editor is in his

element, although he admits he might be overdosing.Just as well then that he's got a comedic side to keep him - and us - sane ...

As we proceed towards election day,

pummelled by humbug, tawdry gimmicks, and some idealism, there are few more

amiable and authoritative guides than the slightly dishevelled,

wispy-haired 56-year-old who started his career as a stand-up comedian, spent 30 years with the BBC, and is now ITN's politi- cal editor, on screen daily during the campaign between eight in the morning and 10.30 at night. "It's a great buzz moment

for all of us," he says, admitting he retains undiminished

enthusiasm and a heroic - some might say naive or self-serving - lack of cynicism, even though this is the ninth election he

has covered. "It worries me. Shouldn't I be cynical, or bored?

Why am I so excited by running about? Perhaps it's a personal

problem and I should be interviewed in silhouette - 'I find

myself overdosing on elections. Please help.' He treads the tricky line of political reporting

with panache and impartiality, swatting aside

crass attempts by party managers to "soften"

his approach in their favour. "It offends me

more than anything if someone tries to spin 1* 1 me a line they know I'll ignore. I always think

less of the person. The public is amused by

politicians trying to manipulate them, so the

chances of silliness and excess are very great, which is part of the fun. Normally politics is

followed by a few million, and the joy now is

you get 20 million. It's like saying, 'I have a train

set... oh, you're interested in train sets, too.'

I'm made weary by people saying how boring it

is. The idea that life will be the same the day after the election as before is simply not true. It never

is. Our system is wonderfully imprecise and

although it's a foregone conclusion, as much as

anything ever is, that Labour will win, imagine the sensation

if their lead is just 26 seats - 'Blair scrapes home in election

debacle.' If the Tories win it will be a historic breakthrough."

Impenetrable minutiae and preoccupations of the chatter-

j ing class that haunt elections are mother's milk to him, a self-

: confessed obsessive. "I had an alarming degree of curiosity as

I a child, and came into the world thinking, 'What the hell is

this?' I had a fantasy I'd be left on a desert island and have to

reinvent everything, so I did a lot of science and was obsessed

to quite an alarming extent thinking I'd have to know how the

petrol engine works, and so on. I'd love not to have been like

that, but it's a neurosis. My father [a parson] was an obsessive

in a different way, an intellectual who learnt 30 languages. I

asked him in my early twenties, 'Dad, have you been a suc-

cess?' and he replied, 'Of course. Because I'm your father,' which was neat because it works on so many different levels:

either, 'Don't ask me that, you cheeky bugger,' or 'If you ques- tion me, you question yourself.' He was a clever man, but

nice, a great figure in my life. I have a brother who was an

actor and is now a builder and a sister who's a social worker."

His two sons, with his wife of 32 years, Mary, a journalist who

became a teacher, have followed him into TV.

His own career was less precise. At Oxford he

gained a second-class degree in PPE (philoso-

phy, politics and economics), was a leading light in revues and contemplated going into theatre.

After acting with Diana Quick at the Edinburgh Festival, Alan Bennett chose him for his sketch

show On the Margin (which won a comedy of

the year award in 1967). He was surprised to be

chosen ahead of Oxford Revue contemporary Michael Palin, but recently, he adds, "I heard a

recording, and realised I came across strongly. I had a presence on stage that was quite con-

trolled. It helps in the job now. If there's may- hem behind you and you have to put difficult

argument into context, the pitfalls are huge. It's like being on stage, and you couldn't do it if

you had no theatrical background."

Eventually he decided that journalism pro- vided more potential than acting, "but it was a close-run thing. When you're young you want to feel you can get to the top and

I knew the competition in comedy was brilliant. I watched

people I knew, like Jonathan Miller, John Fortune, Alan

Bennett, whom I revere as some of the truly great men of our

times, and saw the turmoil they went through. We were revue

artists, funny and irreverent, but I wondered what I'd do when [�

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� I stopped being a charming, funny

young man and become middle-

aged. It's like being in a pop group. If

Tony Blair had done better with Ugly Rumours, where would he be now?"

He failed to be accepted as a BBC

trainee. "I made the mistake of

being honest and saying I'd like to A

work in many areas. It was naive. Jj\ I should have restricted myself to an interest in internal security

systems." The Liverpool Post

and Echo gave him a job as a sub-

editor for three years, before he joined the BBC in 1970 as a radio reporter,

covering conflicts in Vietnam,

Cyprus and Ireland. He became

chief political correspondent in 1988

and was very upset when John Cole

retired as political editor and he was

passed over in favour of Robin

Oakley, formerly of The Times. He

cauterised the rivalry with wit. When

Oakley "dried" on a live transmission, he commiserated, "Don't worry. It's

almost happened to all of us."

"We worked together for seven

years. I made it clear we couldn't row, so we had a non-aggression pact. Robin was a gent, incredibly nice

to me. I liked him as a person, but not the position I was in, which was unfair. I don'twant to

turn this into a moan because the

BBC gave me fantastic opportu- nities and nurtured me. They W realised early on I was a survivor

and they worried, 'Don't encour-

age the blighter. He'll think he's

good, and become overblown.' They were probably right. Once reporters believe they're important, they're dead

meat, unemployable. The best give an air of incompetence, so people

help them. Surely you realise that?

"Lots of administrators like to think

my sort of work is trivial because they hate the truth that the best jobs in

broadcasting go to those who make

programmes. John Birt, who was much

grander than any other director-

general I knew, tried to reverse this

truth � talk about the emperor not

wearing clothes - and pretend man-

agers, who have the most boring jobs, are more important by giving them

; huge salaries. They did deliberate and

tremendous damage to creative skills.

"If you were successful in the old

� BBC you mightbecome chief political

correspondent, whereas in the new

one you'd be in charge of a task force

^^^^^^^ writing a

perspective paper. There was a

sense of, 'Yes, no, maybe we should

do this, my indecision is final - but it's

your fault ifitgoes wrong.' One has to

remember George Orwell hadn't

been to Russia when he wrote 1984, but he had worked for the BBC."

The image of dry political reporter

disappeared overnight after he gave a

dazzling performance on Have 1 Got

News for You. "My comedy may have

been a revelation to some, but not to

my friends." In fact he was refused

permission to appear. "I was sent an

e-mail saying, 'No,' but there's confu-

sion about whether or not it arrived

in time. I have a copy. It will go in my memoirs, and I might name the exec-

utive responsible. It was offensive -

the idea that I can appear live during an election campaign, being fair and

honest about issues affecting people

at the most serious level, but can't

deal with a recorded show.

"There's a terrible snobbery in, and about, TV. When I said I was

appearing with Dale Winton on

Christmas Eve a couple of years ago - one of the best things I did that year -friends said, 'John, what will you do

next?' as if a gent like me is too classy to appear with him." The lure of per- formance continued - Call My Bluff, Room 10 1 - and he was in discussions

to present Antiques Roadshow when

he left for ITN in June last year. After one of his first appearances,

the Prime Minister told him, "I find

it difficult to get used to you on the

otlier channel." With that sort of

bland familiarity, I wonder if it's hard

to avoid being too friendly. "The

truth is it's difficult. We know the

characters and a lot of private gossip in our little village. There's a danger of getting too close, but I always try to

ask the hardest questions in the most

polite way. I want to unnerve them as

much as possible. The older you get, the more they put up with it. Younger

correspondents ask an earnest ques- tion with a flushed face, and find

themselves dismissed, which is

unfair, but one of the joys of political

reporting is no one is killed or suffers

violence by whatever throw at them.

"I stopped calling Blair 'Tony' when he became Prime Minister. It's

not brilliant, because we've known

each other a long time, but it's one way of staying aloof. If you support one

side you shouldn't do my job. It's also

wrong for political reporters to go into

politics. I would never do that because

I inhabit a different cultural space and wouldn't be any good because I

see too many sides of a situation. I

probably have power, reluctantly, to

influence events. It's not real power in the sense I can say, 'I don't like that

fellow Prescott - finish him.' But if a

government gets into a silly tangle, I

can point out they're inconsistent."

He disagrees with Jeremy Paxman's

supposed attitude to political inter-

views - 'Why is this bastard lying to

me?' "It was a mistake to say that. The

joy of our life is these 'bastards' are not

lying all the time. Sometimes they're

guilty of omission, or desperately trying to put a gloss on their affairs, but the

idea they're mendacious is a counsel

of despair. If they're that bad, we

shouldn't report their activities. We

should report them to the police." But what about spin doctors, and

attempts to influence which photo

opportunities are provided for bul-

letins? "There's always tension, but I

wish the phrase 'spin doctor' hadn't

been invented. It's exciting to think of

clinical figures controlling us, whereas

often what you see is someone desper-

ately trying to explain the inexplicable. "This Government has had a lot of

presentational disasters, which is sur-

prising when we're told how brilliant their spin doctors are, and yet they can't stop digging when they're in a

fix. We have fun at each other's

expense. If I'm attacked by Alastair

Campbell [the Prime Minister's

press secretary], I return the attack

immediately, no matter how tired or

fed up I am, making certain to every- one listening that it's not acceptable."

Margaret Thatcher has starred in

his two favourite scoops. He secured

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the first interview she gave as Prime

Minister when, as a radio reporter, he

was in Conservative Central Office

at 3am on 5 May 1979. "I was at the

back of the crowd and realised I des-

perately needed to get to her, so I

went on all fours at fantastic

speed through this sea of legs,

popped up in front of her with a

microphone and she was happy to talk. That was terrific fun, but

if I did it now I'd look odd."

In 1990 he reported live from

the British Embassy in Paris when

it was announced that Margaret

Thatcher, who was visiting, had

failed to win the leadership ballot.

He announced she was not expect- ed to appear before the cameras at

the very moment viewers saw her

walking towards him from behind.

"A brilliant piece of television.

The scene demonstrated she was

past her sell-by date and an impossi- ble flaw had gripped her crumbling

regime. It almost certainly hastened

her downfall. I look a bit absurd, with

the pantomime element of 'She's

behind you', but the whole nation

was gripped. We had 1 3 million view-

ers. When you get a great political

story the audience goes off the charts."

Likewise, it probably goes off for a

drink during repetitive and

frequently pompous "two-way" con-

versations between correspondent and newscaster, frequently repeating what has already been said, or asking unanswerable questions such as, 'What's the next surprising thing that's

going to happen at Westminster?' or, 'What's in the mind of Mikhail

Gorbachev?', both of which he has

had. "But generally there's some-

thing in our culture that makes it dif-

ficult for a grand figure like a news-

caster to ask obvious questions like, don't understand. Can you explain?', 'Where is Kosovo?' or 'Why?' They're

so terrified of being made to look

stupid, so it's clever-dick stuff, and a

Socratic dialogue will not travel on

television. You lose millions of view-

ers for no reason other than your own

feeling of intellectual superiority. "One colleague wanted to use the

word pourboire [French for 'tip'] in

the middle of a two-way. He may assume we're all off to France for our

hols. I thought itwas outrageous."

Surely he doesn't include the

saintly Sir Trevor McDonald in this

encomium? "No. The ITN people are broadly in agreement with what I

am saying. The best correspondents are in the field. That's their job. The

best newsreaders are in the studio."

He hopes to stay a long time. "I

might be felled tomorrow, or fall ill

quickly, but reporting British politics is important and I want to be there for

as long as I can. I'd much prefer to

stand in the rain on the pavement than be pacing the inner sanctum.

That's the romance, to which I'm still

wedded after 30 years." He really does

mean it, grand trouper that he is. 0

Overleaf: Who gets your vote? �

NEXT WEEK NIGELLA LAWSON "I'm not a domestic goddess, but I like

home rather than party life"

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THURSDAY

Today's Choices

Jolly voting weather: the time has come for the electorate to turn out in force to elect a new government

General Election 9.55pm BBC1/ 9.55pm ITV

Tonight is the night when the two big networks, BBC and ITV, engage in the long-awaited battle to see who can woo viewers by being the biggest, the best and the fastest with their election

coverage, and who can keep their audiences until the wee small hours of

tomorrow. As you'd expect, they are

both boasting their unassailability. ITV

is shouting about having a "specially built set on two floors at ITV's

headquarters". Their election-night

programme, hosted by Jonathan

Dimbleby, will be "the most ambitious

ever undertaken by ITV and ITN".

Over on BBC Jonathan's brother

David will be steering Vote 2001 - the

Verdict through the night and into the

early morning. The BBC's coverage of

national and local election results, they tell us, "will be the most

comprehensive, providing results as

they happen with 80 outside broadcast

units covering 120 key constituencies".

It's worth noting that both networks'

results coverage relies on a huge and

largely unsung army of local "stringers" who wait patiently at vote counts, their

fingers hovering over their mobile

phones, ready to telephone the results.

Of course, all of this effort might be an

irrelevance, because we have been told

time and again during the course of

this campaign how sick to death we are

of electioneering. Well, maybe, but this

is still one of those wonderful nights when television truly comes into its

own by showing us a democracy at work.

Andrew Marr's questionnaire: pl6;

Andrew Duncan interviews John

Sergeant: p28; Who gets your vote: p32. Alison Graham

The West Wing 11.05pm C4

It's now common practice to end a drama series with a cliffhanger but if any scriptwriters need pointers as to how to make it really effective, watch the series finale of The West Wing tonight.

Written by creator Aaron Sorkin, it's both tantalising and exciting. There's a hint of what's to come in the pre-title sequence, which sees President Bartlet

(Martin Sheen) enjoying a Q�A session with students in Virginia.

He's relaxed about it, even if his White House entourage are their usual

edgy selves, and it goes well, with the crowd warming to his apparent honesty and humour. As the entourage leave the

building, Gina - who is guarding the

president's daughter Zoey (delightfully code-named "Bookbag" for this

occasion) - senses something is wrong. When it comes, the final scene is

over so quickly it leaves you breathless as well as wondering which characters will survive. E4 viewers are lucky. It looks as if they only have to wait until next

Tuesday to see the start of series two. Jane Rackham

and the best of the rest

A British Legend - the Search for Bluebird 9.00pm BBC1 On 4 January 1967, Donald Campbell was killed while attempting to break the world water speed record in his Bluebird jet hydroplane. His remains were never discovered and the wreck of the Bluebird lay undisturbed in the

depths of Coniston Water. In March this year an attempt was made to raise the wreckage by a team of divers and

salvage experts led by Bill Smith. This

documentary gives the inside story of the meticulously planned project. Friends 9.00pm E4 You can't help wondering how the producers of this show approached Kathleen Turner about appearing in this episode. You see, they wanted Turner, who has played some fairly sexy roles in the past, to play

Chandler's estranged father! Whatever

they said, it worked because here she is

as the cross-dressing Bing Sr found by a soon-to-be-married Chandler in a

Las Vegas nightclub. It's a far cry from

playing Mrs Robinson in The Graduate.

Politicians Behaving Badly

11.05pm C5 John Prescott's recent

punch-throwing incident pales into

insignificance when compared to the

political fisticuffs in this thoroughly

enjoyable documentary being shown as

an antidote to the more serious election

programming. Watch open-mouthed as

brawls break out in the Italian, Korean,

Turkish and Indian parliaments. It's not

all fights, though - there's the attention-

grabbing antics of an over-refreshed Boris

Yeltsin and an uninhibited La Cicciolina,

and a smattering of sex and scandal. But

then politics is a funny business. What can you say about the wife of the Tory MP accused of racism in 1992? Her

doorstep rant to journalists delivered while wearing a shopping basket on her head is extraordinary. Jane Rackham

I Pick of the films

Mutiny on the Bounty **** 1.05pm BBC2 Clark Gable's Christian squares up to Charles Laughton's Bligh. Clueless **** 9.00pm BBC2 Amy Heckerling's satire-cum-parody of teen America. Tootsle **** 1.05am C4 Cross-dressing comedy drama starring Dustin Hoffman. SATELLITE/CABLE/DIGITAL Ed Wood ***** 8.00pm Film Four Tim Burton's loving and funny homage to the fifties director. Fight Club "Tin 10.00pm Sky Premier Provocative satirical drama with Brad Pitt. Kes ***** 11.00pm Carlton Cinema Early Ken Loach drama of a teenager who finds solace from cruel reality in a baby kestrel.

Page 13: I stopped calling - BBCdownloads.bbc.co.uk/historyofthebbc/2001-pages.pdfI stopped being a charming, funny young man and become middle- aged. It's like being in a pop group. If Tony

THURSDAY BBCI OTHER REGIONS

I ANGLIA 6.00am as Cartton 12.30pm News; Regional News; Weather

Followed by Angila Air Watch 1.00 Shortland Street

New Zealand medical drama serial. Followed by Regional Weather

1.30 as Carlton 2.30 Coronation Street

Kevin gets a nasty shock when he pays Molly a visit. Alma invites all of her closest friends to a dinner party.

3.00 as Cartton 5.35 Wheel of Fortune

Followed by Anglla Air Watch Regional Weather

6.00 as Cartton 7.30 Vintage and Veteran

This week, Juliet Morris visits Southampton to meet members of the British Military Powerboat Trust.

8.00 as Cartton

CARLTON CENTRAL 6.00am as Cartton

1.00pm Shortland Street New Zealand medical drama serial.

1.30 as Cartton 2.30 Heart of the Country

Susan George visits the county that was home to England's most celebrated rural poet, and was also the stage for William the Conqueror's most challenging confrontation.

3.00 News; Regional News; Weather Followed by Lifeline

3.20 as Cartton 7.30 Wild About Food

Chef Aaron Patterson takes to the high seas to produce three seafood dishes.

8.00 as Cartton

MERIDIAN 6.00am as Cartton

1.00pm Lunchtlme Uve on Meridian New daily magazine show. Followed by Regional Weather

1.30 as Cartton 2.30 Coronation Street

Kevin gets a nasty shock when he pays Molly a visit. Alma invites all of her closest friends to a dinner party.

3.00 News; Regional News; Weather Followed by Crimestoppera

7.30 RMgerlders First in new four-part series in which Nick Knowles explores the South's historic ridgeways by classic motorcycle, uncovering archaeological and historic treasures along the way. Today he is on the Isle of Wight.

8.00 as Cartton

Underwater team leader Bill Smith

emerges in triumph with a legendary boat A British Legend - the Search for Bluebird 9.00pm

6.00 BBC News PM With Huw Edwards. Including a weather summary. (S) (W) 216

6.30 Regional news magazine Details on Monday (5) (W) 668 Followed by Weather with Michael Fish. (S) (W)

7.00 Holiday Swaps Carol Smillie meets the Shord family from south Wales, who are partial to Romany-style caravanning, and the Coopers from Lancashire, who enjoy activity holidays, and swaps around their holiday plans. Series producer Pete Lawrence; Executive producer Mark Hill (S) (W) 5216

7.30EastEnders Natalie becomes convinced that Barry is having an affair. Sharon confronts Ross about his secret phone calls. Barry Evans Shaun Williamson Natalie Evans Lucy Speed Lisa Shaw Lucy Benjamin Mark Fowler Todd Carty Jamie Mitchell Jack Ryder Sonia Jackson Natalie Cassidy Zoe Slater Michelle Ryan Phil Mitchell Steve McFadden Sharon Watts Letitia Dean Ross Fletcher Che Walker Melanie Owen Tamzin Outhwaite Beppe di Marco Michael Greco

Lynne Slater Elaine Lordan Nick Cotton John Altman

Dot Cotton June Brown Ashley Cotton Frankie Fitzgerald Garry Hobbs Ricky Groves Mo Harris Laila Morse Kat Slater Jessie Wallace

Jim Branning John Bardon Robbie .fackson Dean Gaffney PatEvans Pam St Clement Peggy Butcher Barbara Windsor Charlie Slater Derek Martin Pauline Fowler Wendy Richard Dr Trueman Nicholas R Bailey Joanna Hazel Ellerby Claire Wendy Baxter

Written by Susan Boyd; Producer Emma Turner; Director Andy Hay Repeated on BBC Choice at 10pm (S) (W) 552 WEBSITE: www.bbc.co.uk/eastenders

8.00 Airport Continuing the new run of the Heathrow-based docusoap. Trouble-shooter Karen Jones is confronted by 400 stranded passengers needing a place to sleep in Terminal 3, and a mix-up over names leads to a jet full of holidaymakers seeking an elusive passenger. Producer Salim Salam; Series producer Michael Houldey (S) (W) 8736 WEBSITE: www.bbc.co.uk/airport

8.30 This Is Your Life As their family and friends wait in the wings, another celebrity gets the surprise red-book treatment from Michael Aspel. Producer Sue Green; Series producer Jack Crawshaw (S) (W) 5741

9.00 A British Legend - the Search for Bluebird Donald Campbell died when his boat crashed at 300mph on Lake Coniston, Cumbria. For 34 years the crash remained shrouded in mystery, as the wreck of Bluebird lay submerged in the depths of the lake. This documentary follows diver Bill Smith's four-year quest to find the remains. Producer Mike Rossiter; Executive producer Bill Grift (S) (W) 450378

9.55 Vote 2001 - the Verdict As BBC1 joins forces with BBC News 24 to bring through- the-night coverage of the general election news and results, David Dimbleby sets the scene for the night to come. At 10.00 there's the BBC News from Michael Buerk, followed by the Regional News, and the Weather with Michael Fish. Then at 10.35 it's back to David Dimbleby as he returns to anchor the programme, interviewing senior MPs and linking up with the BBC correspondents who are reporting from 120 key constituencies around the country.

Jeremy Paxman will be gauging reaction from politicians and pundits in the studio, while Fiona Bruce will be meeting a cross-section of the electorate, and discussing their voting with both winners and losers. Meanwhile Peter Snow will be on hand with his swingometer and an array of new graphics to explain what the results mean. There are also reports from Anna Ford, Huw Edwards, Michael Buerk and George Alagiah, and analysis from polling experts Tony King and Alison Park. Ends 6.00am. Director Rob Hopkin; Editor Alexandra Henderson (S) (W) 71498804 CONTACT DETAILS: viewers can comment by e-mailing [email protected] WEBSITE: www.bbc.co.uk/vote2001 Andrew Marr's questionnaire: page 17; Who gets your vote? How the channels are covering the election: page 32

BBC2

Vicki Butler-Henderson

presents more vehicle critiques and news in another edition of the vital

motoring magazine Top Gear 8.30pm

6.00 The New Adventures of Superman PM The Rival. Lois and Clarke confront a newspaper publisher

who uses dangerous means to get scoops. (R) (S) 279674

6.45 Buffy the Vampire Slayer The Pack. During a trip to the zoo, some of the Sunnydale High pupils undergo radical personality changes. Rptd tomorrow 12.40am (R)(S)(W) WEBSITE: www.bbc.co.uk/cult 577533

7.30 Homeground Wraggs to Riches. Ray and Barbara Wragg won more than seven million pounds on the lottery. So far they've given away five million of their fortune. This programme meets the couple who believe that giving is better than receiving. Producer Paul Greenan (S) WEBSITE: ww.bbc.co.uk/homeground 194

8.00 Back to the Floor Working Girl. Naughty knickers, frilly bras and sex toys await Ann Summers'chief executive Jacqueline Gold as she spends a week working at the factory in Portsmouth. Producer Kelly Webb-Lamb; Series producer Hugh Dehn (R) (S) (W) 6378

8.30 Top Gear Another edition of the motoring magazine, featuring car news and road-tests of the latest models. With Jason Barlow, Vicki Butler-Henderson and Tiff Needell. Producer John Wilcox; Series producer Richard Pearson (S) (W) 8113

9.00 Clueless **** Comedy updating Jane Austen's Emma to the present-day. Cher and her best friend Dionne are 16 and are always in vogue. But everything changes when Tai, a new student, arrives. She is, in a word, "clueless", and Cher decides to give her a makeover. Widescreen. Review page 48. Cher Alicia Silverstone Dionne Stacey Dash Josh Paul Rudd Tai Brittany Murphy

Murray Donald Adeosun Faison Amber Elisa Donovan Travis Breckin Meyer Elton Jeremy Sisto

Director Amy Heckerling (1995.12) (S) (W) 8194

10.30 Room 101 Comedian Phill Jupitus offers up his worst nightmares, which include cat lovers and fast food, to Paul Merton forjudgement. Director Geraldine Dowd; Producer Richard Wilson (R) (S) (W) 78668

11.00 World Amateur Boxing Championships Action from the first semi-finals, with Mark Bright in Belfast. Coverage continues tomorrow at 12 midnight. 740484

11.5010x10: New Directors The Worst Jewish Football Team in the World. The under- 13s Broughton B football team consistently lose 23-0. Yet they analyse their games like seasoned TV pundits. Series producer Jeremy Howe; Director Gary Ogin (R) (S) (W) 559484

12.00 1 Was the Cigarette Girl An award-winning short drama about a love-struck teenager and the arrogant, self-obsessed object of her affections. Aine Nuala O'Neill Tim Andrew Scott Niamh Mary Ellen McCartan

Sean/Egghead Michael Condron Angeline Caroline Kerr

Written by Lana Citron Producer Emma Richardson; Director Peter Kavanagh (S) 4762953

12.15 The Forgotten Army A short drama about an old AM soldier who now faces a new enemy in the urban jungle.

Mr Peters Bill Dean Claire Wilkes Joy Blakeman

Dr Doyle Joe Standerline Young girl Erica Smith

Writer/Director Eric Christiansen; Producer Sol Papadopoulos (S) (W)4752576

Followed by Holiday Weather (W) 12.30 BBC Learning Zone Repeats are not indicated.

Open Science 12.30 Hollywood Science (W) 7148866 12.45 Background Brief 1.00 Final Frontier 9403156 1.35 What Have the Sixties Ever Done for Us? 6373750 1.45 Background Brief 6393514 2.00 The Cretaceous Greenhouse World (S) 9091866 2.50 Ever Wondered? 7866972 3.00 A Clean Getaway! 34311 Curriculum Development 3.30 Literacy: The Write Way (ptl) 92408

Languages 4.00 How to Learn a Language 83595 Working In Sport and Leisure 5.00 TV 5 Communication and Study Skills 41717

Open University 6.00 Designing a Lift (S) 74866 6.30 The Rainbow Ends 7.00am. (S) (W) 29243