I AM SICK OF BEING ME .

BY Toyin Mafe

I O F T E N F E E L A N X I O U S , S A D A N D A N G RY. M A N Y T H I N G S A R E H A P P E N I N G AT

H O M E . T H E Y A R E G E T T I N G M E D O W N.

I SOMETIMES CRY IN CLASS. I BOTTLE EVERYTHING IN AND THEN I CRY. MY TEACHER ASKED WHAT THE PROBLEM

WAS. I COULDN’T TELL HER .

I O F T E N F E E L D E TA C H E D F R O M

E V E RY O N E , I T M A K E S M E L O N E LY .

DEPRESSION, SADNESS, FEAR, LONELINESS AND FRUSTRATION.. MOST TIMES, I CAN’T TELL WHICH

ONE I AM FEELING EACH DAY .

I WAS IN THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL FOR 2 WEEKS

BECAUSE I WAS SUICIDAL. MY TEACHER WAS VERY

CONCERNED WHEN I TOLD HER WHY I WAS ABSENT FOR SO

LONG.

I AM IN THE HONORS PROGRAM. I DO WELL IN

SCHOOL (WHEN I AM THERE!) . MY GRADES SUFFER WHEN I AM

NOT IN SCHOOL.

N O B O D Y N O T I C E S W H E N I A M N O T I N C L A SS. W H E N I C O M E B A C K , I T I S T H E

S A M E F E E L I N G. T H E Y D O N ’ T E V E N K N O W M E . I A M L I K E T H E G H O S T O F C H R I S T M A S

PA S T, P H A N T O M O F T H E C L A SS .

I HAVE TO TAKE THESE MEDICATIONS THAT MAKE ME

DROWSY AND I SLEEP IN CLASS. I DON’T WANT TO BUT I DO. THE

MEDICATIONS ONLY NUMB ME NOT CURE ME.

I WISH I FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST BUT I D IDN’T. I AM IN THE

CUCKOO’S NEST .

I STILL NEED HELP.