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A Call to Men
Support for men to stop being abusiveand support for their families to stay safe
Jonathan [email protected]
Port Of Spain, Trinidad, December 2014
SPLITZ Support Service
HV
Aims
To have an understanding of: What Domestic Violence between partners is –
and isn't Why we should work with men who are being
abusive What a good practice model of this work looks like Some of the methods and tools of this work
To start thinking about how this could look in Trinidad & Tobago
Definition of Domestic Violence
'Domestic Violence includes physical, sexual, emotional or psychological or financial abuse
committed by a person against a spouse, child, any other person who is a member of the
household or dependant'
Domestic Violence Act of Trinidad & Tobago (1999)
Domestic Violence is...
systematic patterned behaviour designed consciously or sub-consciously to control and dominate a partner or a former
partner
Domestic Violence is not...
a minor tiff or an occasional heated argument loss of temper or self-control caused by alcohol and/or drugs
Types of Violence Between Intimate Partners (based on Johnson, 2008)
Violence as part of a pattern of coercive control in a relationship, where one partner tries to control their partner in different ways, that can include physical violence or the threat of violence (Intimate Terrorism)
Violence that both partners use towards each other when arguing (Situational Couple Violence)
Violence used by a partner as defence when he or she has previously been the victim of ongoing violence and coercive control in the relationship (Victim Retaliation)
Which of the following characteristics is most commonly found in perpetrators of domestic violence?
a) fear of abandonmentb) a belief in entitlementc) poor impulse controld) low self-esteem
Characteristics of Perpetrators
Superiority Ownership/PossessionEntitlement ManipulativeSometimes ability to perform under observationContradictory statements and behavioursExternalisation of responsibilityMinimisation, denial and victim-blamingSerial abuseConfusion of love and control
Biderman's Chart of CoercionSpiralling
Isolation
Exhaustion Threats Humiliation Control or Distort Perceptions Demonstrating Superiority or Power Enforcing Trivial Demands Occasional indulgences
Why work with perpetrators? 1 in 3 women experience physical violence within an
intimate relationship, at some stage in their lives 2 women per week are murdered by a current or
former partner (in UK – how many in T & T?) Domestic Violence is a child protection issue Domestic Violence is closely linked to mental health
issues Where there is violence there is almost always sexual
abuse of women There are strong links between the sexual abuse of
women and the sexual abuse of children
Why should we work with perpetrators?
Your response and your example to the community matters
Your influence could contribute as much as any other to a safer community
If we can change the behaviour of these men we can have a wider impact than approaches that focus entirely on establishing safety
Model of Best Practice Holding the perpetrator responsible for his actions
- visible, accountable and responsible Monitor behaviour - ongoing risk assessments Put women and children in touch with women's
safety worker so no longer isolated Joint working with Police, child protection, alcohol
and drug agencies and other agencies – a coordinated community approach
Agencies get trained Programme of behaviour change Evaluation
Dutton's Nested Ecological Model
Ontogenetic Level(Individual characteristics or perpetrators personal circumstances)
Microsystem(Family unit or immediate environment)
Exosystem(Immediate surrounding social structures supporting domestic abuse, e.g. workplace, pub)
Macrosystem(Broad attitudes and beliefs of wider culture)
Aims of the Programme
To promote and ensure safety of victims and their children
To prevent/mitigate the risk of re-offending Promote change in abusive/harmful behaviour Work collaboratively with other agencies to
manage risk constructively
Influences
DuluthPro-feminist theory
CBTSocial Learning TheoryGood Lives Model
Motivational Interviewing
Duluth
Developed in Duluth, Minnesota in 1980 – and still going strong!
The Duluth Model was the first to outline multi-disciplinary procedures to protect and advocate for victims
Development of a Coordinated Community Response Discovered “Anger Management” with domestic
abuse perpetrators can increases risk for victims Developed Curriculum based on the experiences of
victims
Pro-feminist Theory“Domestic violence is a consequence of patriarchy, and part of a
systematic attempt to maintain male dominance in the home and in society. Typically, violence against women is explained in terms of a power struggle, for feminists argue that in a patriarchal society, those with all the power -males—must resort to violence when their position of dominance is threatened.”- Steven R. Tracy
“Patriarchy is not responsible for an individual husband’s violent action toward his wife. It does, however, create an environment ripe for abuse. A weakened immune system does not create the virus that leads to deadly infection, but it provides the environment in which the virus can thrive and do its killing. Patriarchal beliefs weaken the marital system so that the deadly virus of violence can gain a stronghold.”- Cynthia Ezell
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
(Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy – see also Cognitive Therapy)
Emotional disturbances (and the behaviour they lead to) are the Consequences of
Beliefs (B) about
Adverse (or Activating) events (A)
Central to CBT approach is a focus on BELIEFS
(and linking them to behaviour)
We explain how this works We examine underlying beliefs during
dialogues with men We use specific tools to help explore beliefs
(we'll look at this more tomorrow) We use educational materials around men's
commonly held shared beliefs e.g. The Man Box
Tony Porter
Influences (continued)
DuluthPro-feminist theory
CBTSocial Learning TheoryGood Lives Model
Motivational Interviewing
Social Learning Theory
“Behaviour is learned from the environment through the process of observational learning. Humans are active information processors and think about the relationship between their behaviour and its consequences. The degree of which behaviour continually executed depends on whether this behaviour is either reinforced or punished by others. Observational learning could not occur unless cognitive processes were at work.”
Albert Bandura
Good Lives Model
Ward & Stewart (2003) argue:
“the most effective way to reduce risk is to give individuals the necessary conditions to lead better lives (‘good lives’) than to simply teach them how to minimise their chances of being incarcerated.”
A model for this work Holding the perpetrator responsible for his actions -
visible, accountable and responsible Monitor behaviour - ongoing risk assessments Put women and children in touch with women's
safety worker so no longer isolated Joint working with Police, child protection, alcohol
and drug agencies and other agencies – a coordinated community approach
Agencies get trained Programme of behaviour change Evaluation
Essential Roles in teamsworking with perpetrators
Women's Safety Work
Case Manager/Co-ordinator
Facilitator/Individual worker
Women's Safety Work Key Tasks Safety planning Providing information to women:
– regarding perpetrator work– about her partner's attendance
Facilitation of referrals to local services Risk management Evaluation of change – and providing this
information to other team members Contribution to co-ordinated community
response
Case Manager/Co-ordinator Key Tasks
Ongoing risk assessment Keeping contact with the man whilst on programme Motivating him and reinforcing learning Monitoring man's attendance at group or individual
sessions Evaluate and act on information which affects victim
or child safety Progress reviews with facilitators Completion of tasks and from missed sessions
Facilitator/Session WorkerKey Tasks
Keeping the man focused on the issues of violence, abuse, control, entitlement and change
Facilitate reflective and critical thinking Maintain compassionate and challenging culture – not
collusive Provide information and teach non-controlling
relationship skills Facilitate a healthy process Contribute to an inter-agency effort to hold
participants accountable for further acts of violence
Working with the abuser
Involves: Helping men understand why they use violent and
abusive behaviour and the effects of this behaviour on victims, children, others and self
To encourage men to take responsibility for their abusive and violent behaviour in relationships
To motivate men to take specific, positive steps to change their behaviour in their relationships
To encourage men how to use non-controlling behaviour strategies in their relationships in order to prevent future violence and abuse
Structure of a Group Work Programme
(Duluth and IDAP)
Nine Modules: Non Violence Non Threatening
Behaviour Respect Support and Trust Accountability and
Honesty
Sexual RespectPartnershipResponsible ParentingNegotiation and
Fairness
Structure of a Group Work Programme (Duluth & IDAP)
continued....
These themes are examined using a three session process
Week 1 – Defining a theme Week 2 – Examining the abuse Week 3 – Exploring, learning and practising
non-controlling behaviour strategies
Structure of a Group Work Programme (Splitz)
Five Modules:
Module A – Physical Abuse Module B – Sexual Respect Module C – Emotional Abuse Module D – The impact on Children Module E – Rebuilding Trust and Respect
SPLITZ Support Service
Structure of a Group Work Programme (Splitz)
Five Modules:
Module A – Physical Abuse Module B – Sexual Respect Module C – Emotional Abuse Module D – The impact on Children Module E – Rebuilding Trust and Respect
SPLITZ Support Service
Structure of a Group Work Programme continued...
First week – Defining the theme
Middle weeks – Exploring the theme, learning and practising relevant tools and strategies
Last week – Going back over and summarising what has been learnt
SPLITZ Support Service
Who is the group for? (Splitz & other non-court ordered
programmes)
The group is for men who are abusive in their relationships and who are motivated to change their abusive behaviour
Most men self refer The relevant (ex)partners are always offered
support from our Women's Safety Worker
Acceptance Criteria
The man must agree to provide contact details for his (ex)partner so that the Women's Safety Worker can offer a support service to her
The man must agree to attend the programme voluntarily and recognise that there is a problem with his relationship or previous relationship
The man must be 21 years or olderThe man must not be due to attend court or be
undergoing criminal proceedings
Pre-Group Assessment
One or more pre-group assessments are completed prior to commencing the group.Each assessment session can take around 3 hours
Occasionally men are seen one-to-one prior to attending the group
The men sign a contract prior to starting the group
Referral Process
The men refer themselves to the programme Voluntary participation is paramount and helps
us assess his motivation to change hisbehaviour
He may be signposted to the programme through another agency. If an agency wishes to signpost the service, we would ask them to suggest that the man contacts the project co-ordinator direct.
Risk Assessment
The assessment includes a very comprehensive risk assessment which has to be completed prior to the man starting the group
There are ongoing risk assessments involving the Coordinator, the Women's Safety Worker and the Group Facilitators. The safety of women and children is paramount
Format for the Group
Each session is 2 hours long – with a tea break about midway. The group is in two sections:
A check-in which is a brief update from each man – focusing on their behaviour within the relationship during the preceding week
This is followed by the module work for the session
1 to 1 support and feedback
At the end of each module a report is completed by the 2 group leaders, which is later shared with the men.
At the end of each module each group member completes a questionnaire on how he thinks the group is going and how the group could be developed etc.
There is a 1 to 1 meeting every module to look at their individual action plan, to ascertain level of progress and to continue to develop non-controlling behaviours
Some of the tools we use in the group sessions
Power and Control vs. Equality wheels The Power Pyramid Fair arguing, assertiveness, aggression and
passivity The use of time-outs and self-talk Anger and poor emotional literacy and
communication Control logs
Some of the tools we use in the group sessions…continued
Taking women's perspectives Videos and scenarios (in conjunction with other
tools) Role play & Skills practice Handouts about non-controlling behaviour and
other educational handouts (e.g around children's needs)
Power & Control vs. Equality Wheels
Power & control and violence & the threat of violence as part of an overall pattern of abuse
Time outs and self-talk
Creating an agreed time out plan Knowing how to calm yourself Becoming aware of the self-talk that serves to
escalate disagreement and finding and using alternatives
Communication and emotional literacy
Becoming more aware of how communicating occurs and finding other ways to do this
Becoming more aware of the range of emotions that are experienced and finding adequate ways to deal with them – they don't need to lead to anger
Control Logs
A way to analyse situations in order to: Become more aware of what happens Look at the intentions, thoughts & emotions
involved See how behaviour is rooted in beliefs that can be
discussed and questioned Become aware of how responsibility is avoided
through minimisation, denial and blame Become aware of the impact of abuse now and in
the context of past abuse Examine alternative ways to behave
Control Log
Actions Intentions Beliefs Feelings Minimisation, Denial and Blame Effects The use of past violence Non-Controlling behaviour
Dealing with Denial“I didn't do it, but if I did I had a good reason”
Minimization, Denial, and Attributions of Blame Among Male and Female Domestic Violence Offenders
Kris Henning, Angela R Jones, Robert Holdford
One in five men denied that there was even an argument with their spouse/partner and most of the men indicated that the
victim and police reports on the incident were inaccurateA majority of the men minimised the severity of their offence by indicating that the situation was 'blown way out of proportion', that nobody was hurt during the incident and that the police intervention was unnecessary because it was a simple family argument
“I didn't do it, but if I did I had a good reason”:Minimization, Denial, and Attributions of Blame
Among Male and Female Domestic Violence Offenders
Kris Henning, Angela R Jones, Robert Holdford One in five men denied that there was even an
argument with their spouse/partner and most of the men indicated that the victim and police reports on the incident were inaccurate
A majority of the men minimised the severity of their offence by indicating that the situation was 'blown way out of proportion', that nobody was hurt during the incident and that the police intervention was unnecessary because it was a simple family argument
Half of the men reported that they were defending themselves against an attack initiated by their partner
Most of the men attributed greater blame for the recent conflict to characteristics of their partner rather than their own personal attributes
Cycle of ChangeProchaska & Diclemente
What is the cycle of change?
Different stages different interventions
Rolling with resistance – but avoiding colluding
What is Motivational Interviewing?
Style of working which helps create direction
It builds momentum towards change
It addresses conflict without arguing
It creates a belief that change is possible
Principles of Motivational Interviewing
Express empathy
Develop discrepancy
Avoid argument
Roll with resistance
Support self-responsibility
The Group Culture
A supportive environment is created where men are encouraged to speak openly
This provides a context in which they can be challenged by us
There are always men at different stages of the programme. They are encouraged to support and challenge each other
Group Diversity
Men come from a wide range of different backgrounds.
This can be beneficial because it allows them to recognise underlying and shared patterns and can be supportive in developing empathic skills
It also presents challenges. There can be misunderstandings and some men have far wider problems, for example, broader issues around violence and chaotic lifestyles
Expected Outcomes
Take responsibility for their use of violence and abusive behaviour in their relationships.
Are able to identify the beliefs and intents that underpin their abusive behaviour.
Acknowledge the effect of their behaviour in their (ex)partners, children and others.
Be taking positive steps to change their relationships using the tools provided
Developing Critical Thinking
The Problem-Solving Method is described as follows:
'This method starts from the life situation and reality of people. Their life situation is made in a problem-posing situation. The method concentrates on showing people that they have the right to ask questions on the hows and whys, that they have the right to find out about causes and influences in their lives.'
Carien Fritz – The Theory of Paolo Freire
Developing Critical Thinking
Critical Thinking
'Critical thinking is a form of judgement specifically purposeful and reflective judgement. Using critical thinking one makes a decision or solves the problem of judging what to believe or what to do, but does so in a reflective way.'
Wikipedia
Non-Controlling Behaviour
Time out Positive self-talk Coping with jealousy Letting go Acknowledging women's fear Accepting women's anger Communicating thoughts and feelings Accepting criticism
Non-Controlling Behaviour continued...
Recognising anger cues Using assertive behaviour Being aware of non-verbal cues Not needing to win and non-violent conflict-resolution Problem solving Learning to listen Challenging sexism and violence against women Understanding power
Five Steps To EmotionManagement
1) Recognise the physical signs
2) Calming
3) Recognise thoughts
4) Challenge thoughts
5) Replace thoughts