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2
y
9
e 1137
P TThe S t u d e n t s ' N e w s p a p e r at Impe r i a l C o l l e g e
Promises, Policies and Pints Hust ings w e r e he ld last w e e k at South
Kens ing ton , Cha r ing Cross, and St Mary 's
for the������ ���
l cand idates . ���t M o n d a y , a r o u n d a h u n d r e d a n d
fifty peop le , e n c o u r a g e d�
y the " p o u n d a
pint" offer, tu rned up in dB's. If they w e r e
expec t ing a tense night o f pol it ical thrills
and d e e p issues, they w o u l d � e� ��
n
d isappointed, � �����. There s e e m e d lit-
tle to d ist inguish mos t o f the cand ida tes
on what are felt to�
e the major issues fac-
ing the U n i o n : ��� ���� � �, BUSA, c lu
�f und ing , C C U identity a n d so o n .
There was a simi lar fee l to the St.
Mary 's Hus t i ngs , t rad i t iona l l y a m u c h
harsher sess ion . There w e r e m o r e �� �-
ing quest ions f rom the sixty or so students
there - particularly ��r BUSA, Glaxo's pro-
posed���� ��
r o f part o f the M e d i c a l
Schoo l ( reported�� � � ) a n d �� � � �� s
related to the M e d i c i n e cou rse -��
t the �����l a t m o s p h e r e w a s m o r e
� � � � � �d
than had���
n e x p e c t e d .
The Charr ing Cross Hust ings o n Tues-
y
:
day w e r e poor ly a t t ended - �� ��� �y d u e
to a party at the s a m e t ime . O n e cand i-
date r emarked that it was ����y dul l and ���
y point less" .
U p first w e r e ���e � ����
s a n d ����n
Butcher, the only cand ida tes s tand ing for
e
Felix Editor a n d DP (E&W)������������
. �����g set out their promises, they f ie lded
q u e s t i o n s f r o m t h e f loor . ���e w a s
strongly in �� �r o f editor ia l f r e e d o m ,
and d e f e n d e d Felix's role as a� ���
. ����n
identi f ied s o m e specif ic issues,��
t admit-
ted that deep-seated att itudes w o u l d take
s o m e l i m e to c h a n g e . H e w a s��������
e
to n e w ideas, such as a counse l lo r for the
med i ca l c a m p u s e s .
Both w e n t d o w n fairly wel l w i th the
c rowds , a l t h o u g h ��� �n
���� � ��d a n ini-
t ial ly ha rsh r e c e p t i o n at Mary ' s . Best
quote? �����!s "IQ are a tight
����h of
peop le " at Mary 's w a s an unfortunate slip.
The c and ida t e s for DP (C&S) w e r e
next. M o s t o f the d i f f e rences�� ����
n
Tim Traitor a n d D u n c a n Field s e e m e d to �e on their d i f ferent (sport ing and non-
sport ing)��� �" � ��� �
. O n e a rgument
runs that the major issues such as BUSA
n e e d s o m e o n e famil iar w i th the sports
teams. O n the o ther h a n d , on ly�� �
t a
quarter o f the� ���
s are sports teams, and
the DP (C&S) n eeds to look after the inter-
ests o f all o f the� ����
.
Both p rom i sed to fight for dual rather
than s ing le entry o f M e d i c teams into
BUSA, wi th Tim preferr ing to keep the cur-
C o n tinued on Page 2
oR u m o u r s o f a ��� � � �
e p r o p o s e d d e a l � � �� � �n C o l l e g e a n d G l a x o W e l c o m e � e f ina l ly
� � �n c o n f i r m e d th is w e e k ,
w i th s e n i o r IC S c h o o l o f M e d i c i n e s ta f f
a d m i t t i n g that G l a x o � e o f f e r e d £2#
m i l l i o n for f o u r f l o o r s at t h e St M a r y ' s
s i te .
Whi l s t t h e p r e c i s e de t a i l s o f t h e
o f f e r still r e m a i n u n k n o w n , it s e e m s
cer ta in that t h e cur rent p r o p o s a l w o u l d
i n c l u d e t h e� � � � � � �
t o f t h e St M a r y ' s $ % & ' ( & ) g - w h i c h p r e s e n t l y h o u s e s
U n i o n O f f i c e s , a s w i m m i n g p o o l a n d
G ladys , t h e St M a r y ' s���
. A d d i t i o n a l l y ,
the m a i n� �����
y (a ��� � � �e c o l l e c t i o n
o f m e d i c a l texts ) w o u l d *e a l m o s t ce r-
ta in to g o , as it l ies in t h e c e n t r e o f t h e + , - . / - 0 1.
The� �""��
t c o n c e r n�� �
t t h e p ro-
posa ls , � ��� � �, is w i t h the p r o c e s s o f
n o t i f i c a t i o n . S e n i o r U n i o n f i g u r e s first
heard r u m o u r s o f t h e sa le� �
a o the r s tu-
den ts a n d leaks last m o n t h , a n d of f i c ia l
a d m i s s i o n o f t h e * 2d o n l y c a m e in
r e s p o n s e t o d i rec t q u e s t i o n i n g . T h u s ,
I C SM U n i o n P r e s i d e n t W a d e G a y e d
has, unsurpr i s ing l y , e x p r e s s e d h is fea rs
y
that t h e U n i o n ( and thus t h e s tuden t s )
w o u l d o n l y � e� � �
n i n f o r m e d "a f ter
a d e c i s i o n h a d� � �
n m a d e " . C o l l e g e
f i g u r e s , � � � � � �, ins is t that s u c h a
d e c i s i o n c o u l d not *e t aken o n a wide-
sca l e w i t h o u t fu l l d i s c u s s i o n a m o n g s t � �h s ta f f a n d s t u d e n t s .
T h e exac t r e a s o n i n g� � � � �
d t h e 3 4d is a l so u n c l e a r . 5 � � � � � � � �
y t h e
p r i c e u n d e r o f f e r is���
y h i g h - par t i c-
u l a r l y w h e n c o n s i d e r i n g tha t G l a x o
w o u l d t h e n � e t o g u t t h e e n t i r e $ % & ' ( & ) g a n d r e-mode l it. As a resu l t ,
t he i r � � � � � � � n is� � � �
g t r e a t e d w i t h
t h e u t m o s t s u s p i c i o n . S o m e s u g g e s t
that it is a � �e to r e g a i n a n a n i m a l
h o u s e f o r IC p h a r m a c e u t i c a l a n d
g e n e t i c r e s e a r c h ( the p r e s e n t s t o c k o f
a n i m a l s m u s t *e � � �d o u t o f t h e
Beit B a s e m e n t s ,��
t B M S is r u m o u r e d
to � e� � �
n res t r i c t ed *y a l i c e n c e
w h i c h o n l y a l l o w s s m a l l r o d e n t s up to
t h e s i z e o f a n 6 7 8 96 : e h a m s t e r to *e
kep t . In t u r n t h e ���� � �e f u n d i n g g e n -
e r a t e d *y t h e sa le c o u l d *e u s e d t o
f u n d the cos ts i n c u r r e d *y t h e m e r g e r
( i n c l ud ing the £9.6m � � � � � ��d o n the
B M S� � � � � � �
g i tsel f ) .
As a resul t o f p r e s s u r e f r o m t h e
U n i o n , sen io r M e d S c h o o l f i gu res � e
p r o m i s e d to p r o t e c t G l a d y s a n d t h e
s w i m m i n g p o o l ( w h i c h t h e C o l l e g e
r e g a r d as� � �" � � �
e assets ) . Th is is l ike ly
to m e a n t r y ing to alter the p l an so that
G l a x o a re o f f e r e d t h e t o p t h r e e f l o o r s .
Wh i l s t th is w o u l d stil l resul t in t h e loss
o f t h e � � �� � �, it w o u l d p r o t e c t t h e
i n t e g r i t y o f G l a d y s .� � � � � �
, m a n y
m e d i c a l s t u d e n t s � e e x p r e s s e d � � �t ��
r t he l i k e l i h o o d o f s u c h a
p l an s u c c e e d i n g - r e t a i n i n g a s t u d e n t ��r u n d e r a state-of-the-art r e s e a r c h
f ac i l i t y w o u l d h a r d l y s e e m to m a k e
g o o d s e n s e , f r o m G l a x o ' s p o i n t o f � � �� . ; Th is is a���
y� � � � �
e i s sue - par-
t i cu lar ly for o l d e r St M a r y ' s s t u d e n t s -
a n d it w i l l� � � � � � � � �
y run a n d r u n .
I ndeed it w a s a s o u r c e o f q u e s t i o n s for
the c a n d i d a t e s for U n i o n P r e s i d e n t
( see p a g e 2).
Inside.. <=>>=?@ - Apathy &
���e theft 6
Editorial & C o m p e t i t i o n ! 7
//J/77r?S-Malaysian news 8
FeatUF6- international Night 10 ABCDEFEDGGHIHJKK candidates 12
c o m i c s o c 18
Film -tickets to 'fife is Beautiful' 20
Clubscene-Nymph 22
MUSiC - S e b a d o h LMGames - Baldur's Gate 28
Sport - lots a n d lots o f it 29 NOPQRSOTUS Abe next 7 days V WXYZZ[Y\]
by Gnat C h u m VL
s 2
sContinued from Page 1
rent hybrid system for as l o n g as possib le .
The issue o f the sale o f Tedd ing ton sports
g round (the tradit ional h o m e o f Mary 's
rugby) was a hot topic at Mary's. Both can-
didates p rom i sed to fight to keep it o p e n .
T im h i g h l i g h t e d m o n e y , s p a c e a n d
min ibuses as the ma in issues a f fec t ing all
clubs. Duncan agreed , but also a d d e d fair
treatment f rom the U n i o n , referr ing to Art-
soc's recent budge t cuts.
The issue o f m i n i bu s es w a s surpris-
ingly painless, cons i de r i ng the d i scuss ion
that has been g o i n g o n recently. Both T im
and D u n c a n (and later, t h e D P (F&S) can-
didates) thought the U n i o n buses w e r e in
a bad way, but p r o m i s e d to l o o k into the
opt ions ^_^` a^bac .
There s e e m e d to b e de fy little to s ep-
arate the th ree cand ida tes for t h e post o f
DP (F&S) o ther than dress sense . Whilst
Paul H i c k m a n ^ _ g ` h c d c r i t i c i sm, B o b
Walker's dang l ing belt raised c o m m e n t o n
all three n ights , a n d Ian Cl i f ford u p h e l d
half of his i jkle Auct ion p romise to at tend
the South Ken Hust ings in d rag . m^n `go s
m e t h o d s o f inc reas ing the Un ion ' s , a n d
part icular ly c lubs ' , b u d g e t s w e r e s u g -
ges ted : sponso r sh ip , greater e f f i c i ency
and "screwing C o l l e g e out o f c_c np qr ` sg
w e can get" - Bob 's phrase , but e n d o r s e d
by Ian a n d Paul.
All cand ida tes ag r eed that loss-mak-
ing tcn_`ucs shou ld be subs id i sed , as l o n g
as they w e r e vng_ `h `sg a g e n u i n e tcn_ `ue
to students - cater ing be ing a pr ime e x a m -
ple. They a lso re-iterated the regu la t ions
conce rn ing add i t iona l i n c o m e gene ra t ed
by c lubs : that ICU t echn i ca l l y cou ldn ' t
touch it, a n d it s h o u l d not b e c o m p e n -
sated for by a r e d u c e d budget .
Finally, the cand ida tes for President
t o o k to the s tage. All except Stuart Cook ,
that is, w h o has t aken n o part in the e lec-
t ions so far. This left Shan Katuwawala ,
Tasha N e w t o n , Denn i s Patr ickson, Robin
Pitt, Ben wg agosg_tx y and A n d y Swift.
Q u e s t i o n s o n a b road range o f t op-
ics w e r e a sked . A c o m m o n t h e m e w a s
the e lect ions qrcytca_ct , wi th issues such
as South Ken apathy, the M e d i c s ' a l l eged
b lock _g q `sz , a n d publ ic i ty recurr ing at
d i f ferent Hust ings.
O n topics such as fees , polit ics, a n d
the NUS , Robin w a s the on ly g_cnay polit-
ical cand ida te ; he w a s a lso the only o n e
to { ^ _go r g rea te r i n teg ra t ion w i t h t h e
NUS , a l t hough h e w o u l d put this to a ref-
e r e n d u m . |}~ ��� �e else d is tanced t h e m -tc a_cs f r o m party polit ics. A n d y a n d Shan
a g r e e d that the N U S w a s a n ice idea , but `sc{ {cuq `_e in pract ice. Tasha cons ide r ed
it t o o po l i t i ca l , a n d Ben a n d D e n n i s {^ _goncd other op t ions .
Al l t h e c a n d i d a t e s s e e m to b e in {^_go r o f increased C C U ^uq`_`qy and iden-
tity. In fact, w h e n a s k e d w h a t they
though t w a s ���e Hellard's biggest error,
Tasha, Shan a n d Denn i s sa id that it w a s
the inc reas ing h`_ `he b e t w e e n ICU a n d
the CCUs . Robin sa id that it w a s fa i l ing to
publ ic i se the f ight against fees ; A n d y crit-
ic ised his hand l i ng o f c lub f u n d i n g ; Ben
d e c i d e d that the 'Presidential Talkback'
p h o t o w a s the abso lu te low point .
O n e a r ea w h e r e all the cand ida tes
w a n t to b r ing a b o u t c h a n g e s is c o m m u -
nicat ions t h r o u g h o u t the Co l l ege . Shan
w a n t e d to use the CCUs , c lubs a n d soc i -
et ies m o r e c{{cuq`_cap . Tasha, Ben and
Denn i s { ^ _go ncd m o r e reports in Felix, as
we l l as ema i l a n d p h o n e s . Denn i s a lso ^h_gu^qcd a U n i o n newsletter, a n d better
Counc i l publ ic i ty . A n d y w a n t e d m u c h
greater use o f ema i l , wh i l e Robin pre-
ferred the direct app roac h o f ta lk ing to
peop l e .
N o o n e cand ida te s e e m e d to ga in
consistent ly m o r e ^vvng_^ l than the o t h -
ers, especia l ly at South Ken . At Mary 's ,
Tasha fared we l l , a l t hough Shan h e l p e d
his cause by crit icising ���e Hel lard, a n d
te l l ing Chris Ince to "shut the fuck up."
Denn i s and A n d y c a m e out we l l ; Robin 's
en thus i a sm for polit ics w o n g_c r tc_cn^ l
p e o p l e ; a n d Ben's o f fbeat app roac h dis-
t i ngu i shed h i m f r om the others.
O n e g o o d th ing abou t Hust ings Is
w a t c h i n g the cand ida tes d o silly th ings in
an attempt to w in {^_gon . So at South Ken
w e had ���e Hel lard k iss ing Bob Walker ;
Ian Cl i f ford in a short skirt; the P res iden-
tial candidates d o w n i n g a truly unpleasant-
l o o k i n g pint of Car l sberg , Bailey's a n d
Coke,- and a brief �`_cnh^suc . M e d i c s take
their d r ink ing ser iously - each cand ida te
at St. Mary 's w a s requ i red to d o w n a pint
o f lager be fore they answe red their ques-
t ions. O n a similar l ine, there w e r e tc_-
eral q u e s t i o n s that w e r e s o m e w h a t `nnc_cncsq : candidates ' {^_gon` qe jokes and
masturbat ion habits c a m e up .
The c h e a p bee r e n c o u r a g e d t h e
occas iona l unw i se c o m m e n t . The Felix
reporter 's last ing m e m o r y o f the South
Ken Hust ings wil l be a certain p r o m i n e n t
U n i o n off icial dec la r ing that he w a n t e d
another wel l k n o w n personal i ty "up my
arse". A truly ag_cay image . ���� �� ���s w i th the cand ida tes are
o n Pages 12 to 16.
2 �h i � i o n
Ass is tan i . . . Roberts ����� �� � � � � � � � � � � � � . i
Garni / S m i t h
'" ' C lubs i ��� �_`���__^ra
£� l e w i s
AA.M. ' , ��e e . . , . i.,
In
New ID card
Ci t i zenCard , a new , off icial proof-of-age
card , w a s l a u n c h e d last M o n d a y wi th zg_ c nsycs t a n d industry back ing . The
card is d e s i g n e d to vng_ `he a foo lp roo f
f o rm o f ID, and is ^_^` a^bae at a range of
a g e s f r o m 12 to 21 . A l t h o u g h it costs ¡¢,
the card c o m e s w i th p h o n e t ime and
m o n e y o f f _gourc nt . A n y o n e w h o has
t roub le get t ing tcn_cd in pubs , c lubs and
off-l icenses s h o u l d d o w n l o a d a n appl i-
ca t ion f o rm f r o m www.c i t i zencard .ne t .
STOP PRESS - Siege
update
The s i ege o f the G r e e k Embassy in Hol-
land Park c a m e to an e n d as fiefec went
to press o n Thursday, with¢
0 Kurdish pro-
testers a g r e e i n g to £¤¥¦e the bu i ld ing in
w h a t a p p e a r e d to be a peace fu l e n d to
the standoff .
The demons t r a to r s nego t i a t ed with
po l i ce by t e l e p h o n e all m o r n i n g after
set t ing qrcytc a _c s a 1 p m dead l i ne for
e n d i n g the i r p ro tes t . They c_csqo^ a a y
b e g a n to e m e r g e sl ightly after 2 p m , one
at a t ime , w i th h a n d s he ld aloft, and
w e r e escor ted by po l i ce off icers to a line
to be s ea r ched a n d h a n d c u f f e d . They
w e r e t h e n led away to po l i ce buses , and
w e r e later c h a r g e d unde r the wnc_cs-
t ion o f Terror ism Act.
The first pe r son out o f the embassy
is bc a ` c _cd to §¨©e b e e n the protesters'
hos tage , G r eek jun io r off icial Babis Pat-
sour is , w h o a p p e a r e d to b e we l l . N o
detai ls o f the dea l w h i c h led to the sur-
render §¨©e b e e n c o n f i r m e d .
U
oe
.
g
,
s
l
t
k
sl
Felix, Beit Quad , Prince Consort Road,�gshgn SW7 2BB Internal tel:
¢ª«¬2 Internal fax: 48072 External tel & fax: 0171
¢4 8072 ®��
; www.su.ic.ac.uk/Felix E-mail: [email protected]
Printed at M C P�`qro
�`y`qch , Units B2 & B3, Hatton Square, 16- 16a Baldwins Gardens,�gshgn EC1N 7RJ Felix is a registered newspaper : ISSN 1040- 0711
Felix Is p roduced for and on behalf of Imperial Col lege Un ion Publication Board. Copyright ¯ Felix 1999. Photographic copyrights remain with photographers .
2 s
Embass Siege Se o e T u e s d a y 16 Februa ry w i t n e s s e d t h e
shock ing spectac le o f a schoo lg i r l set t ing
hersel f al ight outs ide the G r e e k Embassy
in ° ± ²³±² . Desc r i bed as " fear less a n d
pass iona te " , Ne j l a Kan tepe r w a s o n e o f
a g roup of angry Kurds protest ing outs ide
the Embassy in fury at the arrest o f rebe l
leader Abdu l lah Oca lan in Na i rob i , Kenya.
The wel l-orchestrated protes ts t o o k
p lace in m a n y major E u r o p e a n capi ta ls ,
i n c l ud ing The H a g u e , B o n n a n d ´ µ ¶ ²²· ,
as we l l as in ´·² ¸±¹º¶ r a n d Sydney . Kur-
dish protesters s t o r m e d e m b a s s i e s a n d
consu la tes early in t h e m o r n i n g a n d bar-
r i caded » ¼¶½¾¶ ¿ º ¶ s ins ide . They s e i z e d
hos tages ins ide t hese bu i l d i ngs - i n c l u d -
ing the w i fe and eight-year-old s o n o f the
G r e e k A m b a s s a d o r in H o l l a n d . In °±² -
d o n , À0 Kurds c o n t i n u e d t o h o l d t h e
G r e e k Embassy in H o l l a n d Park as Felix
w e n t to press.
O c a l a n , leader o f the PKK Kurd is tan
Workers Party, w a s arrested in Na i rob i o n
his w a y to the airport to ca tch a f l ight to
the Ne the r l ands f r o m the r e s i d e n c e o f
the G r e e k A m b a s s a d o r the re . The cap-
ture was a n n o u n c e d by Bulent Á¸¶ºµ», the
Turkish Pr ime Min i s te r , s ay ing h e w o u l d
" a ccoun t for his a c t i ons " in f ront o f the
Turkish judiciary. Oca l an is expec ted to be
cha rged w i th a t t e m p t i n g to set up a s e p -
aratist state for Kurds; t h e c h a r g e carr ies
the dea t h pena l ty . N o b o d y has b e e n
y
: R o u n d t h e c l o c k protest br ings traff ic to a standst i l l
e x e c u t e d in Turkey for f i f teen years, but
the author i t i es face b e i n g labe l led w e a k
if they d o not h a n g h i m a n d the risk o f
m a k i n g O c a l a n a martyr if they d o .
In a s t a t e m e n t , t h e PKK a c c u s e d
Turkey, Israel a n d the Un i t ed States o f  ÃÄ Ä Å Æ Å Äg to capture O c a l a n t h r o u g h a
"secret ¾¶Çºµ¸e ac t ion" . The Foreign Of f ice
r e fused to c o m m e n t , w h i l e the Wh i t e
H o u s e admi t ted that it was ÈÉÊ Ëy p leased"
at the arrest, w h i l e d e n y i n g any direct
µ ²º± ¿º¶½¶² » . (The US sees the PKK as a
des tab i l i s ing in f luence o n the Kurd ish
c o m m u n i t y it protects in N o r t h e r n Iraq,
and has labe l led it a terrorist o rgan i s a-
tion.) M a n y Kurdish pr i soners in pr i son
are o n h u n g e r strikes, a n d at least o n e
has burnt h imse l f to dea th in protest .
Ne j l a Kanteper is Ç ¶ ¸±º¶ Ç µ ² g in hosp i ta l .
G r e e c e has c o m e unde r fire after
secretly she l ter ing O c a l a n for two w e e k s
in Na i rob i . The Turkish n e w s p a p e r s Hur-
riyet a n d Mi l l iyet report that a Turkish
c o m m a n d o t e a m , d i s p a t c h e d to Na i rob i
f o l l o w i n g in te l l i gence reports , s t o p p e d
O c a l a n ' s car o n the n ight o f M o n d a y
the ÌÍÎh a n d h a n d c u f f e d h i m to a seat
in the p l ane o f a Turk ish b u s i n e s s m a n
they h a d f o r c e d h i m into . G r e e k o f f i -
cials, m e a n w h i l e , c l a im that O c a l a n had
left the e m b a s s y aga ins t their ·³º µ¸e in
the f ace o f a l l e g a t i o n s that they had Ï·º¶ d the w a y for O c a l a n ' s arrest in the
interest o f m a i n t a i n i n g s m o o t h relat ions
w i th Turkey. The t rea tment Turkey hands
out l o its pr i soner wi l l n o w c o m e unde r
in tense scrut iny as the n e e d to retain sta-
bility in the r e g i o n a n dÏǶº¶² t full-scale
w a r f r o m b r e a k i n g ou t r e m a i n s para-
m o u n t - the cred ib i l i t y o f the бº¶ Dz -
ment ab road wil l d e p e n d ¼¶·ºµ ¿y o n their
e n s u r i n g that the trial is fair.
The Fore ign O f f i c e has w a r n e d hol-
i d a y m a k e r s b o u n d for Turkey , u r g i n g
t h e m to r e m a i n º µÐµ ¿·²» . The m a n y Kur-
d i sh suppo r t e r s o f t h e PKK in Britain are
o f f i c i a l l y r e g a r d e d as l eg i t ima te d iss i-
den t s a n d a r c a l l o w e d to stay so l o n g as
they d o not p o s e a threat to Britain's
secur i ty a n d are not µ ² º± ¿º¶d in p lot t ing
acts o f ter ror ism a b r o a d . The refusal o f
the Fore ign Of f i ce to c o m m e n t on the sit-
ua t ion is w i d e l y s e e n as the tak ing of a
del iberately ¹²ÏDZº±¸·» µ ºe l ine toÏǶº¶² t
the s i tua t ion f r o m w o r s e n i n g , (see p2)
U
Advertising Manager 1
To market advertising space in the ICU Handbook to potential customers.
• To organise and administer the bookings.
> To attend and work with the Hand book committee.
1
To ensure all artwork is received and is ready for publication.
I I Features Editor i
i
To write entertaining, quality features of , relevance to future students. To encourage other ICU students to con j tribute to the Handbook. To attend and work with the Handbook ' committee. I To ensure that all features are ready to I publish before deadline. I
e
D
I
t
I
y e
s 2
y
B y S a n j a y S i k d a r
Pho to : A l ik l Dr Paul Ew ing demons t r a t e s his natty l ine In b o w t ies .
The City & G u i l d s C o l l e g e U n i o n c e n -
t e n a r y l e c t u r e s e r i e s c o n t i n u e d last
w e e k w i t h Dr Pau l E w i n g ' s h i g h l y p o p -
ular t a lk o n t h e h i s t o r y o f t h e car .
D r . E w i n g w h o h a s Ñ Ò Ó Ô Õ Ö × Ø Ù y b e e n
d e s c r i b e d as " p r o b a b l y t h e m o s t s ty l-
ish m a n in c o l l e g e " (a t i t le Ú Õ Ô Ó n by h is
s t u d e n t s ) , h a d h i s s t a t u s f u r t h e r
e n h a n c e d as h e p a r k e d h i s Ô Õ Û Ü Ý Ú e
M o r g a n a n d ÞÖ Ü× s Esprit in f r on t o f t h e
M e c h a n i c a l E n g i n e e r i n g e n t r a n c e . Pr i-
mar i l y f o c u s s i n g o n cars , h is l e c tu r e
i n c l u d e d o t h e r f o r m s o f t r anspo r t , par-
t i cu l a r l y t h e s t e a m t r a i n s w h o m h e
reca l l ed w h i c h a g rea t d e a l m o r e e l e -
gan t a n d re l i ab l e t h a n t o d a y ' s r e i n ca r-
na t i ons .
Dr E w i n g ' s t a lk ß Ö Ô Ó Ò Ó d Ø Ó Ô Ó Ò Ý l
t h e m e s s u c h as t h e m a n y Br i t ish f irsts
that t o o k p l a c e in t h e w o r l d o f m o t o r -
ing . The first m o t o r c a r r ace o n ea r th
o c c u r r e d in Bexhi l l-on-Sea. B r o o k l a n d s
w a s t h e w o r l d ' s first àáà r s p e c i a l i s e d
r a c i n g c i r cu i t . T h e o p u l e n c e o f t h e âãâ äås the re w e r e c o m p a r a b l e to Asco t
whi lst the a lmos t ÔÓÒ Ü ÕßÝ l b a n k e d ß×ÒÔÓ s
p r o m i s e d a hear t s t o p p i n g r i de . In ref-
e r e n c e t o t h e r e cen t l y e s t a b l i s h e d l a n d
s p e e d r e c o r d by t h e T h r u s t S CC jet car
in N o r t h A m e r i c a , Dr E w i n g t o l d the
a u d i e n c e o f the m a n y past l and s p e e d
m i l e s t o n e r e c o r d s that h ad fa l len to
Br i tons .
The IC lecturer a l so en t e r t a i ned the
g a t h e r e d t h r o n g w i t h a n e c d o t e s a b o u t
t h e d i f f e r e n c e s in æ Ò Õ Ô Õ Ûg sty les o f Stir-
l i ng M o s s a n d G r a e m e Hi l l , as w e l l as
t h e s ad ta le o f E l eano r T h o r n t o n , t h e
m o d e l for t h e f l y i ng lady o n t h e Rol ls
Royce , w h o t rag i ca l l y d r o w n e d d u r i n g
a t o r p e d o a t tack d u r i n g W o r l d War I.
I n c o n s i d e r a t e e l e m e n t s o f S h e r f i e l d
b u r e a u c r a c y w h o d e e m e d t h e i n n o c u -
o u s cars o u t s i d e a f i re h a z a r d rude l y
i n t e r r u p t e d t h e m u l t i - m e d i a p r e s e n t a -
t i o n . U n r u f f l e d , Dr E w i n g c o n t i n u e d
t h e t e m p o by m e n t i o n i n g t h e w i n d
t u n n e l t e s t i ng that o c c u r r e d in t h e IC's
A e r o n a u t i c s d e p a r t m e n t d u r i n g t h e æ Ó Ô Ó Ù Ö Ñ ç Ó Û t o f J agua r ' s XJ220.
The se l f s ty led d o c t o r ra ised ØÓÔÓÒÝ l
e m e r g i n g t r ends d u r i n g th is past c e n -
tury o f m o t o r i n g s u c h as t h e recen t
f e m i n i s a t i o n o f t h e c o n s u m e r car f r om
t h e t e s t o s t e r o n e c h a r g e d m a c h i n e . He
c i t ed t h e m e t a m o r p h o s i s o f t h e èÝ×é-
hal l 's ê Ö Ô a to the ß×ÒÔÕÓ r C o r s a in order
to attract t h e la rger n u m b e r o f w o m e n æÒÕÔÓÒs that exist today . H e a l so re ferred
to t h e b y g o n e days w h e n d r i n k i n g a n d ë ì í î í ïg w e r e ðñ òy m u c h i n t e r t w i n e d
a n d a c c e p t a b l e pas t imes . P e o p l e w o u l d
ge t t ru ly " s o z z l e d " a n d it w a s not till
r e cen t l y that a l c o h o l w a s s e e n as s u c h
a m e n a c e to r o a d safety . A l t h o u g h it
o c c u r r e d at t h e b e g i n n i n g o f t h e talk,
t h e o p e n i n g m o u n t a i n r o u t e
s e q u e n c e s t o t h e f i lm 'The Italian Job '
s u m m e d u p w h e r e Dr Ew in g ' s ph i l o s -
o p h y a n d Ù Ö Ôe o f cars s t e m m e d f r o m .
' D e l i c i o u s car , d e l i c i o u s w e a t h e r , de l i -
c i o u s s c e n e r y . '
FIELD FOR
DP(C&S) More than one issue -
Only one solution:
C&S administration
driven by ideology, tempered with realism.
mm '
B ó:ôõö÷ö.... •
Voting - all departments Mon 22nd/Tue 23rd Feb
A l l you need is a union card and an opinion
Y O U R UNION - Y O U R VOTE:
M A K E A DIFFERENCE
eIn r e cen t m o n t h s s i g n i f i -
cant m e d i a a t t en t ion has B y M a f C
b e e n ÚÕÔÓn to ÞÕÛ×é , a c o m -
puter o p e r a t i n g sys tem (OS), w h i c h is
surpr i s ing , c o n s i d e r i n g that the juxta-
p o s i t i o n o f t h e w o r d s ' c o m p u t e r ' ,
' o p e r a t i n g ' a n d ' s y s t e m ' p r o b a l l y
m e a n n o t h i n g to the majouri ty of p e o -
ple. If this i nc ludes y o u , t h e n an O S is
the p i e c e o f so f twa re w h i c h con t ro l s
access to a c o m p u t e r ' s ha rdwa re ; e g
it's m e m o r y , p rocesso r (eg a P e n t i u m
chip) , hard disk, k e y b o a r d , g r aph i c s
card etc.
A n OS is a ðñ òy c o m p l e x p i e c e o f
sof tware , but m a k e s the j o b o f p e o p l e
w r i t i ng so f tware for a c o m p u t e r , e g a
w o r d p rocesso r or g a m e , a lot eas ier .
The O S r u n n i n g o n most c o m p u t e r s is
M i c r o s o f t W i n d o w s , w h i c h has a 9 0 %
market share , ( the major i ty o f t h e rest
b e i n g M a c i n t o s h e s , w h i c h øùúe their
o w n OS) , whi ls t on l y 2 % run ÞÕÛ×é . û íïüx is a ÔÝÕÒ ÕÝÛ t o f UNIX, a n O S æÓ Ô Ó Ù Ö Ñ Ó d in the 70s, w h i c h b e c a m e
the industry s t andard for use o n t h e
m a i n f r a m e c o m p u t e r s o f the t ime a n d
is still in use t oday for se r i ous a p p l i c a -
t ions . The first PCs w e r e m u c h less
p o w e r f u l t h a n t h e m a i n f r a m e s , so
n e e d e d a smaller OS, and issues o f reli-
abi l iy a n d e f f i c i ency w e r e less i m p o r -
tant, s o M i c r o s o f t ' s D O S , a n d later
W i n d o w s was a su i table subst i tute. But
as PCs b e c a m e m o r e com-
B r O S t e r m o n p l a c e , no t ý þ ý ÿ� � �e
w a n t e d to u s e W i n d o w s ,
w h i c h led to the æÓÔÓ Ù ÖÑçÓÛ t o f ÞÕÛ×é ,
a ÔÓ Ò Ø Õ Ön o f UNIX d e s i g n e d to run o n
a PC.
If � � � � � e à áà r u s e d W i n d o w s ��� , t h e n c h a n c e s are y o u ' r e f am i l -
iar w i th the ' B lue s c r e e n of dea th ' , -
wi th ÞÕÛ×é , that s imply doesn ' t h a p p e n . � �n if a p r o g r a m fails, it doesn ' t b r ing
t h e e n t i r e c o m p u t e r d o w n w i t h it.
M o r e impor tant l y , ÞÕÛ×x is cons ide rb l y
m o r e e f f i c ient t han W i n d o w s , requir-
ing m u c h less m e m o r y a n d processo r
powe r , w h i c h m e a n s Ó ÔÓ Ò� Ü� Õ Û g runs
faster. W i n d o w s NT is m o r e re l iable
t han ��� , but isn't as fast as ÞÕÛ×é .
Second ly , ÞÕÛ×x is far m o r e f lexible
than W i n d o w s - mos t ÞÕÛ×x so f tware is
cus tomiseab le to near-ridiculous ÙÓÔÓÙØ .
You w a n t E9 to c o m m e n t o n the cur-
rent l ine w h e n you ' r e p r o g r a m m i n g
but a d d an a t t a c h e m e n t w h e n you ' re
s e n d i n g mai l? That 's f i ne . û íïüx w a s a n d is æ Ó Ô Ó Ù Ö Ñ Ó d by a
g r o u p o f hacke r s /geeks w h o d id the
w o r k out o f t h e f u n o f it, so a c o p y of ûíïüx wi l l cost y o u the pr ice o f distr ib-
u t i ng the C D a n d m a n u a l s , or can be
d o w n l o a d e d for n o t h i n g f r om the net.
See g n u . o r g for m o r e detai ls , or check
out w w w . m a l l n e t . c o . u k / ~ m a r c / l i n u x
e
e
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consider this: some of the most exciting and rewarding
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DEAN WITTER
6
Keep It Down!
Dear Felix
The local po l i c e 789 e recent l y p a s s e d
o n t o the U n i o n a n u m b e r o f c o n c e r n s
f r o m local res idents a b o u t the :;<; l o f
no i se o n Pr ince Conso r t Road after t h e
bars c lose a n d U n i o n =>= ?@ s f i n i sh .
The U n i o n w o r k e d ext remely hard to
obta in its l i cence , A B<C:< ABg a lot o f n e g o -
tiation with our ne ighbours , and the local
pol ice. If w e are to keep the l i cence (and
so our late n ight ;<;BDEF , it is up to the
p e o p l e : ; G< ABg our =>= ?@ s to 789 e s o m e
respect for the local res idents a n d k e e p
no ise :;<;:s d o w n in res ident ia l a reas -
w h i c h inc ludes the Q u a d , a n d o n the
street ou t s ide Beit Hal l .
Don' t be o n e o f the h a n d f u l that
cou ld spoi l it for ; <; HICB; , p l ease k e e p
the no ise d o w n w h e n : ; G < A Bg the U n i o n
- r e m e m b e r w e are on ly a sma l l part o f
the local c o m m u n i t y .
Thanks
M a r k H o m e JKL MNs & M a r k e t i n g M a n a g e r
How to Stop Bike Theft?
Dear Felix OGEt Friday ; < ;B A B g I d e c i d e d , qu i te out
of the b lue , to s ink a f e w jars in South-
side after work . A c o u p l e w a s s t re t ched
into a few, as they d o , a n d I e n d e d up
d o i n g the s ens ib l e t h i n g a n d w a l k i n g
h o m e . O n M o n d a y I c a m e to co l lec t m y
bike f rom the racks to the s ide o f the bar,
on ly to f ind a lmos t 100 p o u n d s w o r t h o f
parts miss ing f r om the f rame. N o n e w e r e
qu i ck re lease , so s o m e little shit h ad
b e e n there H ;PC < A B g t h e m w i th too ls .
The ma in f r a m e o f the b ike w a s s e c u r e d
wi th a g o o d qual i ty D-lock.
I w e n t straight to secur i ty to m a k e a
report and was to ld this sort o f theft hap-
p e n e d at least o n c e a week , o f t en m o r e ,
f rom those racks a lone ! I then asked if w e
cou ld < A ;w t h e f i lm f r o m the secur i t y
camera , on l y to b e to ld the re w a s n o
c a m e r a e r ec t ed there . N o c h a n c e o f
ca tch ing a n y o n e for this o n e t h e n .
I i n q u i r e d fu r ther a n d Q A E R C < ; H ; d
that there is on l y o n e c a m e r a o n the
w h o l e o f the c a m p u s , w h i c h RC<;H s the
bike racks ou t s ide RSM . ( Incidental ly , I 789 e a f r i end w h o s e b i ke w a s s to l en
f r om there not so l o n g a g o a n d h e w a s
gut ted to f ind out that secur i ty had not S TSn t u r n e d t h e c a m e r a o n ! ) Th is
s e e m e d a little bit silly, cons ide r ing all the
bikes that c o m e in and out o f the Co l l ege
daily. M a y b e the po l i c e wi l l be ab l e to
he lp I t h ou g h t .
So the re I f o u n d myse l f actual ly lis-
t en ing proper l y and t ak ing h e e d of the
w o r d s f r o m o n e of our boys in b lue .
H e sugges t ed I write a letter to those
in author i t y t o try a n d ge t t h i n g s PC < A B g
o n this front. H e to ld m e that UR :VHG< Aa
po l i c e s ta t ion are ge t t i ng t ired of the
t ime w a s t e d in f i l l ing out theft reports
f r o m our c a m p u s a n d 789 e got n o w h e r e
w i th their reques ts for full e lec t ron ic sur-<; A : : GB R; . I to ld h i m thatSTS
n our s e c u -
rity h a d n o t i c e d this c u n n i n g pattern o f
theft , but n o t h i n g had b e e n d o n e to
s top it. So w h y t h en , 789 e our p e o p l e
i g n o r e d these reques ts f r o m the local
p o l i c e w h o are s u p p o s e d to be ful ly
c o o p e r a t i n g w i th our security measures?
M a y b e , after finally m a n a g i n g to stop
the week l y c o m p u t e r chip thefts f rom the
last f e w years, w e may be ab le lo c o n -
cent ra te o n WH;E;H< ABg the p rope r l y o f
the s tudents , not just that of the Co l l ege
ent i ty itself.
M a y b e s o m e o f t h e m o n e y u s e d to
p u r c h a s e s u c h th ings as the d e a d trees
that are so del icate ly p lanted outs ide the
B M S b u i l d i n g or the intricately XY > = n
patterns o f c h e a p bushes ou t s ide the
library, in future c o u l d be spen t o n sys-
t e m s to protect t h e s tudents ' scanty p o s -
sess ions .
I d o not k n o w w h y th ings 789 e not
go t PC < A B g o n th is f ront ,S T S
n w i th
po l i c e pe r suas i on . M a y b e our o ld f r iend
C a l d w e l l is r e s p o n s i b l e , w h i c h w o u l d
exp la in ;<; HI DZ A BV . A n s w e r s p l ease .
Ne i l Forsyth PG2
We l l , N e l l , w e t o o k your letter to M r Ken
We i r , C h i e f Secur i ty O f f i ce r . W h a t f o l -
lows Is a s u m m a r y o f his reply. If y o u fee l
this doesn ' t answer all your points, p lease
ge t b a c k to us - after a l l , b ike thef t Is a n
Important Issue for m a n y IC s tudents .
Ed
There are actual ly t w o secur i ty c ameras
o n Wat ts W a y - o n e just o u t s i d e the
Hea l th Cent re a n d the other at the other
e n d ; it is actual ly im pos s i b l e to place a
c a m e r a C <; H : C C [ A B g t h e b ike racks in
s u c h a w a y that it d o e s not in f r inge the WHA<GRy o f o ther local residents, the n u m -
ber o f b i ke thef ts o u t s i d e Sou ths ide is
a b o u t the s a m e as the n u m b e r ou t s ide
the Shc r f i e ld Bu i l d i ng -18 for the w h o l e
of 1998. I he re are th ree cameras RC<;H-ing b ike racks directly, not c o u n t i n g the
Sou ths i de o n e s . I'm not say ing that the
s ys tem is per fec t - there a rc t oo m a n y
b ike parks a n d resources are l imi ted . W e
d o w o r k c lose ly w i th the local po l i ce in
this regard - last year, E;<;n separate
pla in-clothes ope ra t i ons w e r e m o u n t e d
w h e r e they m a d e use of co l l ege facilities
to ident i fy a n d a p p r e h e n d b ike DZ A;<;E ,
w h i l e securi ty staff m a d e eight bike-theft
re la ted arrests. B ike thef ts are WH;<G:;B t
in c o l l e g e s - par t i cu la r l y u r b a n o n e s
w h e r e a lot of s tuden ts a n d m e m b e r s of
staff use I hem, a n d a lot o f the b ike DZ A;<;Hy that takes p lace he re is o r g a n -
i sed in nature , no t oppor tun i s t i c .
Ken Weir (CSO)
Focus Group on Apathy?
Dear Felix,
I a m wr i t i ng abou t my c o n c e r n s r ega rd-
ing the IC apa thy that w e k n o w so we l l . \<; r the past f e w w e e k s , the U n i o n has Q;< A E ;d a w a y for all IC s tuden ts to play
a part in the ;<;HIQG y r u n n i n g o f the
U n i o n E;H< AR;E . I w a s ]^ _y d i s a p p o i n t e d
to f i nd that , a f ter spec i a l days w e r e
a r r anged for s tudents to turn up to the
so-called F O C U S G R O U P S , that on l y a
hand fu l o f p e o p l e t u rn ed up.\<; r the
four years I 789 e b e e n at IC, I 789 e b e e n Z;G< A :y A B <C :< ;d w i th the U n i o n , a n d
k n o w that it tries its ]^ _y hardest to pro-< A Qe the E;H<A R;s that the s tuden t s so
badly n e e d . After C<; r 400 direct e-mails
to s tudents , t w o w e e k s of GQ<;H D A E ABg in
Felix a n d n u m e r o u s posters a r o u n d t h e
co l lege, I f ind it ]^ _y surpr is ing that IC stu-
dents don ' t really care a b o u t h o w their
Un ion is run for t h e m .\<; r the years, the
U n i o n has H ; R ; A < ;d n u m e r o u s c o m -
plaints a n d cr i t ic isms a b o u t the <GH AC` s E;H<AR;s that it runs, a n d n o w , after they 789 e had the c h a n c e to c h a n g e a n d
mod i f y these E;H<AR;s to suit their needs ,
the IC apa thy strikes a g a i n . I n o w ask
myse l f that d o IC s tuden ts really ca re
abou t their Un ion?
A ]^ _y c o n c e r n e d a n d d i s a p p o i n t e d
K M a h m o o d (Aero 3)
Cynical Conscience
Dear fel ix,
I was in t r igued by last w e e k ' s c o m m e n t
e n t i t l e d "The A u d i b l e C o n s c i e n c e " .
A l t h o u g h the art icle w a s Q;<GE DG D ABV :y
pessimist ic and about as subt le as a GCSE
Engl ish essay, it w a s still g o o d to s e e
s o m e cr i t i c i sm o f our m o d e r n , u r b a n
l ifestyle.
Bes ides d a m n i n g near ly ;<; HI DZ ABg
c a u s e d by mass u rban i sa t i on , the art icle
f o c u s s e d o n ]^ _y impor tan t issues such
as WC<;HDI , h o m e l e s s n e s s , po l l u t i on a n d
traffic. This is all s u m m e d up w i th a c o m -
plaint a b o u t h o w apa the t i c ;< ; H IaCQ y is
and h o w th ings can not c h a n g e as a
result.
Wha t I f ind part icu lar ly f rus t ra t ing
about this article and other similar articles
is that they d o not m e n t i o n any WCEA D A<e
m e a n s o f a c t i on . O n c e the reader ' s c o n -
s c i e n c e is sa t i s fac tor i l y s h a k e n , t h e y
shou ld then be p resented wi th ways that
t h e y c a n d o s o m e t h i n g a b o u t t h e s e
issues. The art icle s h o u l d c o n t i n u e so it
c an m e n t i o n s t eps w e c a n t ake to
o p p o s e our "mean ing less existence". This
cou ld be d o n e s imp ly by m e n t i o n i n g rel-bcd et ac t ion g roups , o u t l i n i n g s teps that
c an b e t a k e n as w e l l as V A < A B g M P s
addresses s u c h that w e ca n <C A R e our
con ce rn s .
H o p e f u l l y , a m o r e b a l a n c e d
a p p r o a c h to th is t y p e o f art ic le wi l l
en cou rage peop l e to be m o r e W;HR;WDA<e
a n d less apa the t i c . fG<Ad H a w k i n s (ERE I)
OK , I ge t t h e m e s s a g e . Space Is short ,
so. . . O u r M P is t h e Rt H o n Peter B rooke ghCBE; H<G D A <; F . A d d r e s s let ters t o t h e
H o u s e o f C o m m o n s , Pa lace o f Wes t-
mins te r - bu t y o u m i g h t as w e l l try per-
s u a d i n g a n O x f o r d b lue b a r g e po l e . The
Felix webs i t e , currently awa i t ing updat ing
by ce r ta in p o w e r s that b e , has s o m e
use fu l l inks to pol i t ica l a n d m e d i a w e b -
s i t es ; w w w . s u . l c . a c . u k / F e l i x . A n o t h e r
g o o d p ro-democracy g r o u pOEhZGHD;Hii ;
www.cha r t e r88 .o rg .uk . - Ed
BigThankyou for Phone
Dear Felix,
I w o u l d l ike to say thanks to jZC; < ; r it
w a s that h a n d e d my p h o n e in to the
un ion bar staff on M o n d a y night after the
hus t ings . I lost it b e c a u s e i had had a bit
t o o m u c h < C Q [ a a n d h a d t h o u g h t it
unl ike ly that I w o u l d get it back, so I a m <. gra te fu l to y o u for h a n d i n g it in.
thanks .
Karen Yates (Physics, PG I)
The klmnokpqrnssltg Saint?
Dear Felix,
Just a q u i c k n o t e in r e s p o n s e to lain
M c N a u g h t ' s ]^ _y interest ing article about uG : ;B D A B; v s Day: The first StuG : ;BD A B e
mus t 789 e b e e n b l o o d y R:;<; r to be a
Chr is t ian priest in 270BC
Ta,
D Clarke
Dear M r Clarke,
Just g o e s to s h o w w h a t bo l l ocks they
pub l i sh o n the internet .
Yours a u l o s u m m a r i s i n g l y ,
la in M c N a u g h t
Deadline for letters is
12noon Wednesday. O;DD;Hs m a y be e d i t e d for l eng th , but
wi l l not be a l te red in any o ther way. O;DD;Hs n e e d not be s i g n e d , but a
s w i p e card mus t b e s h o w n w h e n sub-
mi t t i ng a n o n y m o u s letters.
y 1999
,n
A s w e b u m p e d a l o n g the grass,
t h e n lu rched into the air at thirty,
d e g r e e s , d o u b t crept into my
m i n d . Had it b e e n w o r t h the->
n i g h t m a r e wx yze { |}~ �� |�� ��|
south-west ���w� n a n d a l o n g "
the M 2 � to Redhi l l a e r o d r o m e ,
o n a Thursday m o r n i n g w h e n I
hadn ' t s lept for �z� r a day? As w e sta-
bi l ised at a r o u n d 1 feet up, ����z� x ,
the answer c a m e ; def initely. The sky w a s
clear, the sun w a s out, the Nor th D o w n s
w e r e a h e a d o f us, w h i l e the m o t o r w a y
c r aw l ed a l o n g the z�� ��y t owa rds the ����. The smal l a n d s o m e w h a t wor ry ing ly
insecure w i n d o w of the a i rsh ip I w a s in
c o u l d b e o p e n e d , a f f o r d i n g a g o o d
oppor tun i ty for aerial pho tog raphy (sorry
I c o u l d on l y fit o n e in this article).
" Keep a tight h o l d o f your c a m e r a -
y o u don ' t want to lose that!" m y Spanish-
G e r m a n pi lot w a r n e d as I leant
out . H e sa id it w i th an air of
s o m e o n e w h o has seen it all
before . . . b e w a r y w h e n next
s t a n d i n g b e n e a t h a n a i rship.
I h a n k s to Bea twax a n d
Wa lkers for o r g a n i s i n g the fl ight.
I he a i rsh ip is current ly tour ing the c o u n -
try, p r o m o t i n g Wa lkers ' n e w crisp b rand
-you m a y ��� e s e e n it m o u n t e d wi th aer-
ial c a m e r a s for t h e Eng land-France
m a t c h .
Wa lkers M a x cr isps ��� e �y z�n us
s o m e spare bags for y o u lucky readers .
For your c h a n c e to w i n the good i e s , s im-
ply wr i t e in to I e l ix te l l ing us h o w y o u
p lan to �yze life to t h e max in '99, In
u n d e r w o r d s .
D e a d l i n e fo r ent r ies Is W e d n e s d a y ��� .
l��z yd H a w k i n s ' le t ter r a i s e s � � z � x � l
i m p o r t a n t po in t s . The ' y o u t h ' o f t o d a y
are o f t e n s e e n , p r o b a b l y q u i t e r ight ly ,
as a cynical lot. W e are qu i ck to cr it ic ise,
nihi l ist ic, d i s i l l u s ioned w i th t h e w o r l d as
w e f i nd it, w y��y �� y ze o f W e s t e r n z� � �� s
yet at t h e s a m e t i m e t o o a p a t h e t i c t o
c h a n g e �� x � � � z � s or t h e w o r l d w e � yze
in . W e �yze ou r � yz�s u t t e r i n g s u c h great
p h r a s e s o f se l f-pra ise a s ' I 'm a su r-z yz�x� ' N i c e o n e . G rea t � � � y � z �� � � t -� � � � �e � z � y w � d d e a t h .
Not all o f us are like this. No t all o f
us th ink like this. There is p lenty that can
be d o n e , that w e can d o . C o n s i d e r the
traffic p r o b l e m in ���w�� . I d o n ' t k n o w
m u c h abou t local ��z� x���� � , the tax
sys tem or in fact pol it ics in gene ra l , but
it s e e m s to m e there ' s ��z�x� l ways for-
ward. . .
A toll for p e o p l e en t e r i n g � � � w � n at
the M 2 or s o m e other b o u n d a r y and/or
a tax o n bus iness carparks c o u l d raise
e n o u g h m o n e y to x�zy �� � y�e � ��w �� ¡ s
publ ic transport sys tem, as we l l as dis-
cou rag ing p e o p l e f r o m us ing their cars.
The counte r a r g u m e n t to this is that it'll
be bad for ���w�� ¡ s bus inesses (most ly
those in the City - oh dear, h o w upset a m
I). The cost to businesses, ����z�x , cou ld
be passed o n as w a g e cuts, or c o u l d
s imply e n c o u r a g e c o m p a n i e s to �� z e
out o f ���w�� .
I d i sag ree . S o m e b u s i n e s s e s m a y ¢£¤¥e ���w�� , yes. M o s t o f the b i g com-
U
x
y
e
Monday
s
m
s
Tuesday
s
e
Thursday
x
pan ies that o c c u p y the square mi le and
assoc ia ted areas are unl ikely to ��z� , ����z� r - they n eed to be near the pulse
of the City.
Finally, I w o u l d ��� e t h o u g h t that
m o s t c o m p a n i e s w o u l d a p p l a u d any
s c h e m e to d i s cou rage wxyz�xs in ���w�� .
Pu t t ing p o l l u t i o n i ssues as ide for the
m o m e n t , current ��xz�¦s s h o w that the
fastest m e a n s o f transport in �� �w �n is
t h e b i cyc l e . T h e n m o t o r b i k e s a n d
m o p e d s . Then the u n d e r g r o u n d , w h i c h
ties w i th taxis du r ing many per iods of the
day. Then w e ��� e buses and cars, and §¨§n these can s o m e t i m e s be beaten by
foot . All that 's w i thou t the y�z�� ���� t in
cycle lanes and paths, unde rg round trains
a n d stat ions, a n d bus lanes, that a toll or
tax f u n d e d s c h e m e cou ld ©x�z yw� .
M a y b e I'm a dreamer , an idealist, �����z� x . M a y b e the ca rbon m o n o x i d e
f u m e s a n d l ow f r equency h igh dec ibe l
no i se that l ines the C romwe l l Road ª�ª «y
m o r n i n g w h e n I wa lk into co l l ege f rom
Earls Cour t has got the better o f m e .
M a y b e I'm unreal ist ic to h o p e for a city
In w h i c h lorries don ' t hurtle past my bed-
r o o m w i n d o w ª�ª «y ten minutes all night
long , caus ing the doub l e g laz ing to x�z�x-berate . M a y b e I'm just too cynical .
W e can m a k e a d i f fe rence . For the
sake o f m y sanity, c a m p a i g n against red
rou t e s ( those red l ines o n roads l o
increase traffic f low) and for better pub-
lic transport . We ��� e a z�y�� , and w e ��� e a z��� . Ta lk ing o f w h i c h , m a k e sure
y o u use yours today.
Interested in spending
3 months in Nepal this
summer for subsidised
research?
W e w o u l d n e e d a ( female ) m e d i c to
jo in us for the m e a n s o f a research on
the in terac t ions b e t w e e n Wes te rn
m e d i c i n e a n d t rad i t iona l hea l i ng
m e t h o d s .
Contac t :
Isabelle Hoyaux :
s
Paintball
£20 including lunch
Saturday 6th March
Sign-up in you r depa r tm en t s .
Free Beer!
City & Gu i lds Co l l ege U n i o n Bar-night
ICU U n i o n Bar 7 p m Thursday ¬ �h Feb
X SYMPOSIUM
O r g a n i s e d by the IC �y��x User G r o u p
a n d the ICU D o c S o c
in fo : tel:
e m a i l : ®¯° ± ²³ ³´µ³ ±¶ ²· ® ° · ® ´ k
W e d n e s d a y February
0
Hux l ey b u i l d i n g , r o o m
WIN a c o p y o f S.u.S.E. �y��x Of f i ce
Suite 99 or a 2� p o u n d s b o o k z����� r
(courtesy o f The �y��x E m p o r i u m a n d
WATERSTONE'S )
e
A �� � � y z e b i g t h a n k s to S e n a n d Raj
a n d the i r r u n n e r s , M a n e s h , Sha l i n i ,
Y o g i , A i n g a , A n i l a n d S u r e n .
Y o u r t i m i n g w a s p e r f e c t as
e x p e c t e d . ¸¹ºe & respect
Najia and Dimitri
Exam Stress Workshop
'Emotional Preparation' led by Claudio »¼½¾¿, Psychotherapist
Imperial College Health Centre
Wednesday 10 & 17 March, 3.00 - 4.30pm
e
s
The w o r k s h o p wi l l ©x�z ywe oppor tun i t i e s to share c o n c e r n s a n d exp lo re better
ways o f h a n d l i n g stress a n d anx ie ty du r i ng x�z y � y�n a n d exams .
8 2
tBuses
Time and t ide wai ts for n o m a n . N e i -
ther, it s e e m s , d o e s a n u m b e r 14
Rou temas te r g o i n g d o w n Pu tney
High Street. If I w a s o f a m o r e susp i c ious
bent, I'd a lmos t say that the ÀÁÂÃÄr w a s
ignor ing m e o n purpose . As a rule, h o w -ÄÃÄÁ , I don ' t g o in for consp i racy theor ies
-1 th ink that they ' re just a b i g c o n c o n -
jured up by the establ ishment , pa id for by
big bus iness a n d c i rcu lated by the m e d i a
to distract our a t tent ion f r o m the real
issues. But in the case o f this bus, I'm
prepared to make an
except ion. The really
frustrating t h i n g w a s
that I had b e e n o h
so tantal is ingly c lose
to that oft-dreamt-of
(but se ldom realised)
s i tuat ion o f s t ro l l ing
se rene l y up to the
bus s top just as your
bus pulls up w i th a
de l i ca te fart o f t h e
a i rbrakes . It h a p -
p e n e d to m e o n c e in N o r w i c h in 1986
and was the on ly br ight spot o f a thor-
oughly d ismal hol iday w h e n , thanks to an
truly ga rgan tuan cock-up w h e n b o o k i n g
the trip, myse l f a n d three f r i ends spen t a
fo r tn igh t h i t ch-h ik ing a r o u n d w h a t
s e e m e d like ÅÆÅ Çy little na r row coun t r y
lane in East Ang l i a . W e w e r e È ÉÊÃ Â Ê È Ä d
that w e had b o o k e d a sa i l ing ho l i day
and it was on ly w h e n w e got back to ËÌÍÌÎ-isation and wen t to the ÏÁÐÃÄ l agen t to ask
for our m o n e y back that it t u rned out that
we ' d actually s i gned up for t w o w e e k s on
the Nor fo lk B-roads. But as I sa id , at
least I'd m a n a g e d to board a City H o p p e r
in what passes for N o r w i c h t o w n cent re ,
so that w a s s o m e t h i n g .
O n this part icular day, ÑÉÒÄ Ã Ä Á , I
was not to be so lucky. I w a s w a l k i n g
briskly d o w n the U p p e r R i c h m o n d Road
towards the crossroads w i th Pu tney H i g h
Street and had nearly r e a c h e d the traff ic
light w h e n the a f o r e m e n t i o n e d d o u b l e
decker g l i ded smug l y across the inter-
sect ion a n d d r e w up, É Ã Ä Á ÓÑ ÉÉ Ï Â Êg by
only a c o u p l e of d o z e n feet . S u d d e n l y
my quiet little w o r l d w a s shat te red a n d I
was p rope l l ed h e a d l o n g into the ÔÂÕÃÂÖÁÂn
Bus Chase Cha l lenge . ×Øt m e expla in . Sil-ÙÚÛÜ ÚÝ, for the un in i t i a ted , is the n a m e o f
a brand of hairspray popu la r a m o n g s t
f ema le secretar ies a n d l ibrar ians in the
1970s, t h e Ï Ä Õ Ä Ã Â Ó Â Én ÐÀÃÄ Á Ï Â Ó ÂÊg c a m -
pa ign for w h i c h f ea tu red a ÃÉÂÈÄÞÉÃÄ r
w h i c h p o s e d the ques t i on "is she or isn't
she ?", the po in t b e i n g to e m p h a s i s e
that the a f o r e m e n t i o n e d hairspray was so
comfor t ab l e a n d natura l- looking that t h e
on l y p e r s o n w h o k n e w for ce r t a in
whe the r or not she w a s w e a r i n g it w a s
the wearer herself. Whilst the ad in ques-
t
'...suddenly my quiet
world was shattered
and I was propelled
headlong into the ßàáâ àãäàn Bus Chase
Challenge..."
t ion is d e a d and g o n e and ÔÂÕÃÂÖÁÂn is n o w n o longer
c o n s i d e r e d to be a front-
l ine hair care product , the i dea at the
heart o f the c a m p a i g n that sold it ÕÂÃÄs on
and n o w f inds em p loym en t in the nudge-
n u d g e , wink-wink wor ld of sanitary towe l åæçèéê ë ì ëíî, a n d the c lose ly related area
o f the ÔÂÕÃÂÖÁÂn Bus Chase Cha l l enge . This
latter p h e n o m e n o n rears its ugly h ead in
just the c i r cumstances in w h i c h I f o u n d
mysel f at the b e g i n n i n g of this paragraph
- b e i n g a lmost , but
no t qu i te , o n t i m e
for m y bus.
Whe reas in the ÐÀÃÄÁ t o f the s a m e
n a m e the cent ra l
d i l e m m a was o n e of
"is she or Isn't she " ,
in the ÔÂÕÃÂÖÁÂn Bus
C h a s e C h a l l e n g e ,
t h e q u e s t i o n is
" s h o u l d I or s h o u l d -
n't I?". Anybody w h o
has Õ ÂÃÄd in ï ÉÊÀÉ n forðñðn the shortest
l e n g t h o f t i m e is su re to òóô e b e e n
t h r o u g h this Hamlet-esque expe r i ence -
you got t h r o u g h to if y o u
dia l led 100 in south-west
Scot land) , but in the split-
s e c o n d a l l o w e d to m e I w e i g h e d up all
the ÁÄ ÕÄÃÐÊ t factors a n d d e c i d e d to take
up the Cha l l enge . T h r o w i n g cau t ion to
the w i n d I set off w i th the pace (a l though
not the polit ics) o f a y o u n g Seb C o e ,
wi th my heart in my m o u t h a n d õÐÊöÄ-
lis r i ng ing in my ears.
I m a d e it d o w n to the c rossroad in a
t ime w h i c h w o u l d òóô e got m e into the
meda l s for the 200m
in the 1924 Paris
O l y m p i c s a n d
r o u n d e d the corner
in to Pu tney H i g h
Street, narrowly miss-
ing an oc togena r i a n
p i l o t i n g a Z i m m e r -
f r a m e . A q u i c k
s w e e p of the h ead
right-left Á Ä ÃÄ Ð Õ Äd
that t h e nea res t
o n c o m i n g Ã Ä Ñ Â È Õ e
o n the road was a C i t roen Xant ia abou t
30 yards away and ÏÁÐÃÄÕ Õ ÂÊg at ooh . . . I
don ' t know. . . .qu ick ish . . . .might be ok if
...as I saw the Number
14 flash across the
intersection in front of
me, I felt something a ÷äàøùâúl urge well ing
up within me..."
to chase or not to chase? In such situa- I yeah , that 's do-able. W i thou t break-
"...I was exiled on my
traffic island, watchinc
my bus receding into
the distance..."
t ions p e o p l e w h o in their dai ly ÕÂÃÄs òóô e
a b o u t as m u c h use for c o m p l e x ÃÄÈÏÉ r
ma themat i c s as an England test ba t sman
has for s u n b l o c k , s u d d e n l y c l ick into
R o b o c o p m o d e . In an instant they òóô e
n o t e d the current pos i t ions o f the bus
a n d Ï ÑÄûÓÄ ÕÃ Ä s and òóô e started m a k i n g
rapid a n d h igh ly de ta i l ed assessments
o f ÁÄÕÐÏ ÂÃe d is tances , ÁÄÕÐÏÂÃe speeds , the
state o f traffic c o n -
g e s t i o n fu r ther up
the street, the n u m -
ber o f m u m s w i t h
pushcha i r s/OAPs in
b a t t e r y - p o w e r e d
wheelchairs/buskers
p l a y i n g " H e r e
C o m e s t h e S u n "
(except for the tricky guitar riff in the
m i d d l e w h i c h they h u m instead)/ "B ig
Issue" ÃÄÊÀÉ Á s or other obstac les on the üÐÃÄûÄÊ t as we l l as the l ike l ihood of the
next set o f traffic l ights but o n e tu rn ing
red at an ÐÀÃÐÊ Ï ÐöÄÉý s m o m e n t , in an
effort to d e c i d e d whe the r or not to m a k e
a run for the bus.
But now , as I s aw the N u m b e r 14
f lash across the intersect ion in front o f
m e , I felt aüÁ ÂûÄÃÐ l u rge w e l l i n g up
w i th in m e (either that or I'd ea ten my
G o l d e n G r a h a m s t o o quickly) and I k n e w
that m y t ime had c o m e . Ma ths has ÊÄÃÄ r
b e e n my s t rong suit (I f l unked the "Intro-
d u c t i o n to Q u a n t u m M e c h a n i c s " course
unit in m y first d e g r e e d u e to my labour-
ing unde r the m i s a p p r e h e n s i o n that a
H a m i l t o n i a n O p e r a t o r w a s the pe rson
ing str ide I ÑÐÕþÞÃÐýÕÏÄÀ , half-slid ÉÃÄ r the
bonne t of a parked f o r d Capri M k l in a
f ash ion that w o u l d òóô e had Bod i c a n d
Doy le n o d d i n g w i th Ðüü ÁÉÃÐ Õ , a n d m a d e
a dash for the central ÁÄÓÄÁÃÐ Ï ÂÉÊ . I w a s
half-way there and this real life ÃÄÁÓ ÂÉn of
Frogger was almost ÉÃÄÁ . I looked up and
n o t i c e d to my horror that the trolley-
w i e l d i n g pens i one r w h o was at that ÿ� �y
m o m e n t s t rugg l ing
painfu l ly on to the
p la t form at the back
o f t h e bus , t o t h e
d e t a c h e d a m u s e -
m en t of the Blakey-
lookal ike conduc to r ,
w a s the last pe r son
in the q u e u e . Panic-
str icken I s n a p p e d m y h ead r o u n d to my
left, up the hill to see if there w a s any-
t h i n g c o m i n g be fo re I m a d e the f inal
sprint for the tape. A r g h ! The þÂÃe red
lights had just g o n e out and the ent i re
M o n a c o G P start ing gr id was À  à ÂÊg into õÂÁÐöe St�ÄÃÉÏÄ . D a m n , d a m n , d a m n .
S w i n g i n g back to my right, I s a w that
Thora Hird had at last b o a r d e d the bus
and that the c o n du c t o r had his h a n d o n
the c o m m u n i c a t i o n ' c o r d . A r r r g g g h h !
Blakey ��� e a last g l ance a r o u n d to pick
up any stragglers, g o b b e d cop ious ly on to
theüÐÃÄûÄÊ t and then wi th a pract ised
fl ick of the wrist doub l e-d inged the bell
to s ignal to his co l l e ague that it w a s t im e
to put d o w n The Sun w i th ïÉÃÄÕy ïýÈy
f r o m ïÄÂÈÄÓÏÄ r a n d get the s h o w o n the
road. N o o o o o ! As the doub le-decker
be fo re m e slid s m o o t h l y of f d o w n the hill
like the QE2 at its inaugura l l aunch , the
front r o w o f the gr id bo re d o w n on m e
in a c loud of 4-star f u m e s wi th rows 2 and
3 hot o n their hee ls , a n d I was exi led on
my traffic is land, w a t c h i n g m y bus reced-
ing into the d is tance . All that I cou ld d o
n o w was h o p e and pray for a break in the
o n c o m i n g f l o o d o f ÃÄÑ Â È Õ Ä Ó � �ÐÊd
...yes...yessss...there it was . Be tween the
wh i t e Go l f a n d the b lue Hyunda i beh i n d
it. M a y b e a c o u p l e o f meters , maybe
m o r e . It w o u l d be
e n o u g h ! A s they
d r e w ÕÄÃÄ l w i th me , I
b roke into a trot and
then w h e n the t ime
w a s right cut sharply
a c r o s s t h e f l o w of
t raf f ic a n d ÉÃÄ r to
t h e o p p o s i t eüÐÃÄ-
m e n t ,ü Á É Ã É Ö Â Ê g a
fur ious bou t o f horn-
h o n k i n g and fist ��-
g f r o m the
Hyunda i ÀÁÂÃÄÁ . I swo re at h i m in Korean
a n d be l t ed o f f d o w n the road after my
bus , t h r o w i n g w o m e n a n d ch i l d ren
b e h i n d m e a n d s c r e a m i n g at the top of
m y lungs "wait for m e " as I ran. A n d oh
yes, o h yesss ! The next set o f lights but
o n e w e r e tu rn ing red ! M y bus w o u l d òóô e to s top! Thank You G o d ! It was
g o i n g to be all right, I w a s g o i n g to make
it. Eric ï ÂÀÀÕc eat your heart out. I r edou-
b led my efforts and spr in ted d o w n the
H i g h Street, ÒÄÐ Ã Â Ê g f r o m s ide to side,
s o m e t i m e s on theüÐÃÄûÄÊÏ , somet imes
in the gutter, like a Cruise missi le seek ing
out the mos t e f f i c ient route t o d o w n -
t o w n B a g h d a d . A n d all at o n c e , my
quarry w a s b e f o r e m e , m e r e feet away.
Automatical ly I thrust out a hand, grabbed
the wh i te po l e and h u n g on tight. As the
bus was ÏÁÐÃÄÕ Õ ÂÊg slightly faster than I, the
extra fo rward m o m e n t u m pu l l ed m e off
my feet a n d I l a n d e d o n the footp late ,
swea t ing profusely and pant ing like Darth õÐÀÄ r c o m i n g a sh o re at C a p Gris N e z
after a cross-channel s w i m . U s i n g what
little s t rength I h a d , I d r a g g e d mysel f
upr ight w i th the he lp o f a handra i l and
co l l apsed into the nearest ÐÃÐÂ ÕÐ Õe seat,
w h e r e u p o n m y f e l l o w passenge rs broke
s p o n t a n e o u s l y into a r o u n d of app lause .
A l t h o u g h w e a k w i t h e x h a u s t i o n I
a c k n o w l e d g e d their congratu la t ions with
a f e e b l e �� e o f t h e h a n d a n d then
returned to the impor tant task o f gu lp ing
d o w n sui tcase-sized l u m p s of air. M y
e x e r t i o n s s e e m e d to òóô e i m p r e s s e d ðñðn Blakey w h o ��� e m e a beatif ic smile
wh i ch c h a n g e d into a ÃÂÊÀÂÈÏÂÃe leer as he
tu rn ed to t h e rest o f the passenge rs and
cal led out "Pu tney Br idge next stop ! This
bus te rmina tes here ! All c h a n g e please!"
2 9
l�� � �e had t h e H u s t i n g s , t h e � � � � �� � �� s ��� e b e e n d o n e a n d t h e c a m p a i g n s
s e a l e d . N o w all that r e m a i n s is t h e ���-ing . ���e a lways � � � �d in s a b b e l e c t i ons ,
s o m e o f the t i m e t h o u g h I c h o s e t h e
c and ida t e I t h o u g h t w a s best by s e e i n g
a funny poster or s e e i n g t h e m d o w n the
bar. The a s s u m p t i o n is that � ! " # " t
runs the U n i o n , it d o e s n ' t e f f ec t y o u ,
a n d the s y s t em Is so g o o d that $% &y lit-
tle d a m a g e can be d o n e by a b a d s a b b . '( � � �g d o n e t h e j o b for n i n e m o n t h s
t h o u g h , a n d s e e n t h e r e spons ib i l i t i e s
the other s abbs )(�� , this � � �w cou ldn ' t
b e fur ther f r o m t h e t ru th . To th is e n d
I'm g o i n g to list exact ly w h a t a b a d s a b b
c o u l d d o in e a c h p o s i t i o n , It s h o u l d b e �*� � �+ s h o w this c o u l d �� � e a d i rec t
impact o n ,-, .y s tuden t , i n c l u d i n g y o u .
President
) If a P res ident is l azy or d i s o r g a n i s e d ,
u r g e n t l y n e e d e d c h e q u e s w o n ' t b e
s i g n e d . This c o u l d ��� e a n Impact o n
a n y "# " /0 s y o u m a y w a n t to r un or
e q u i p m e n t y o u m a y w a n t to o rde r . N o t
ge t t i ng t h e c h e q u e s ou t o n t i m e c o u l d
b r e a c h a cont rac t w i t h o n e o f t h e c o m -
pan ies , c a u s i n g t h e m to pu l l ou t c o m -
plete ly .
) If t h e y d o n ' t ��� e
t h e r ight i n t e r p e r -
s o n a l ski l ls or k n o w
t h e i s sues , ou r s tu-
den ts 1 234 s c o u l d be
s t eamro l l e r ed by Co l -
l e g e , o t h e r U n i o n s
ol III 56J In 7 " ii n r . r i, 7. ' h o u i Ii 8888 , i i
m o n e y t h e U n i o n � � 9� � � � : , t h e f u tu r e
o f ; 5; , w h e t h e r
t u i t i o n f e e s a re
i n c r e a s e d , t h e list
g o e s o n .
DP (Finance &<=>?@A=B
)
) Incorrect f i n a n c i n g or k n o w l e d g e o f CDT ru les for ins tance , c o u l d s ee your "#" /0 s m a k i n g great losses , b e i n g c a n -
c e l l e d , m o n e y b e i n g ' lost. '
) C l u b s a n d Soc ie t i es c o u l d ��� e the i r
b u d g e t s s l a s h e d or �E E�9 � �� � Fy c l o s e d
d o w n .
) Bar a n d c a t e r i n g pr ices c o u l d soar or
t h e :�� � �9� s m a k e n o profit t o subs id i se
c lubs a n d soc i e t i e s .
U See P res ident 1.
DP (Clubs & Societies)
! GH I I I J IK ,..jid :+K� �� � : e t h e m e r g -
i n g o f t h e s p o r t s
rnggt t e a m s . M i s t a k e s
c o u l d create f ines or L L e\ o i s q u a l i l i r a i i o n
Irerii l i t i SA a n d the
U5 5 � (M+� s
) Wi th the fu ture o l
spo r t s g r o u n d s In
t h e b a l a n c e a b a d
C&S c o u l d N O P e g o o d b y e to y o u r E (��+� � �� , or c reate a s i tua t ion w h e r e
the re aren' t su f f i c i en t p i t ches for the
n u m b e r o f t e a m s .
) C o l l e g e m igh t c lose d o w n you r c lub ,
b e c a u s e t h e C&S hasn ' t p r o p e r l y
e n s u r e d that you r Hea l t h a n d Sa fe ty
regu la t ions are proper l y up to s t anda rd .
DP (Education & Welfare)
) Your d e g r e e m i g h t be c h a n g e d so
that c e r t a i n c o u r s e s a ren ' t p r o p e r l y
w e i g h t e d .
) You r c o u r s e b o u n d a r i e s m i g h t be
sh i f ted up so that y o u slip d o w n a grade.
) Your e x a m s m a y t ake p l a ce In a tent
w i th ,-, .y e x a m p e r f o r m e d c o n s e c u -� ���FQ .
) Y o u m i g h t ��� e w e l f a r e p r o b l e m s
a n d f i n d that t h e s i tua t i on w i th a b a d
E&W is w o r s e n e d .
Felix Editor
) A n y c h a n g e s in po l i c y or rules that
t h e u n i o n or C o l l e g e m a k e s m i g h t not
b e c o m m u n i c a t e d to y o u , th is c o u l d
e f f ec t you r hal ls , e d u c a t i o n , soc ia l l i fe,
a n y t h i n g .
) Impo r t an t i s sues that n e e d to be
s t r essed to C o l l e g e w o n ' t be � � � 9 � d by
o n e o f ou r m o s t p o w e r f u l t oo l s o f c o m -
m u n i c a t i o n .
A s y o u c a n s ee t h e s a b b s ��� e a lot o f
p o w e r a n d , - , .y o n e o f t h e m c a n
s o m e h o w e f fec t y o u a n d y o u r l i fe. So
w h a t k n o w ? Re a d the i r � � �� �� ���: , talk
to you r f r i ends a n d f i nd ou t a b o u t the
c a n d i d a t e s ; o n l y t h e n wi l l y o u be ab l e
to - R S e for t h e p e r s o n w h o c o u l d b e n -
efit y o u m o s t .
ns
O n Sa tu rday , F e b r u a r y t h e 6 th , t h e
Ma l a y s i an c o m m u n i t y in 5 � � T � n w a s
in for a rare treat w h e n Its p r e m i e r . Dr.
Mah a t h i r he l d a d i a l o g u e s e s s i o n at t h e
M a l a y s i a Hal l in M a r b l e A r c h . The P M
w a s o n his w a y to t h e G r o u p o f 1U
Th i rd
Wor ld C o u n t r i e s s u m m i t in J a m a i c a a n d
d e c i d e d to take this oppo r tun i t y t o m e e t
Ma l a y s i ans he re . H u n d r e d s o f s t u d e n t s
a n d expat r ia tes w o r k i n g h e r e f i l l ed t h e
t w o hal ls a l l o c a t e d to l is ten to t h e P M ' s
s p e e c h c o n c e r n i n g t h e latest po l i t i ca l
a n d e c o n o m i c T � � � F � K V � � t b a c k
h o m e . In his a d d r e s s , t h e P M t o u c h e d
o n a n u m b e r o f mat ters . C lear ly in c a m -
p a i g n i n g m o d e . A s t h e g e n e r a l e l e c -
t i o n is d u e ea r l y n ex t y ea r , h e
s u m m a r i s e d s o m e o f m a n y( 9 ) � � � � -
m e n t s that t h e p resen t r u l i n g coa l i t i o n
party had a c c o m p l i s h e d in t h e 42 years
it had b e e n in powe r . He m e n t i o n e d the
s u c c e s s f u l r e b o u n d m a d e a f te r t h e
r ecess ion in t h e ear ly 980s r e su l t i ng in
r e m a r k a b l e e c o n o m i c g r o w t h at t h e
d i z z y he igh t s o f 8 % for 10 9 �� : � 9 + � � � e
years.'����� � , w e w e r e b r o u g h t d o w n
to ear th a g a i n w i t h t h e o u t b r e a k o f t h e
As ian e c o n o m i c cri-
sis in 1997. H e a l so
e m p h a s i s e d t h e
c o u n t r y ' s p u s h
t o w a r d s b e c o m i n g
a m o r e t e c h n o l o g -
ica l-based c o u n t r y
w i t h the construe-
l i o n o l i h e ,". i��VK � � : : � � e K u a l a 5 +VK+ r In ternat iona l A i rpor t W XYZ[\ , the
M u l t i m e d i a Super Co r r i do r (MSC) a n d
W a s h i n g t o n - l i k e(TV � � � : � � ( � � � e city,
Putrajaya. ]��� � �)� F � : : , a sk any o f the a u d i -
e n c e m e m b e r s w h a t t hey r e m e m b e r
m o s t a b o u t that day a n d a major i ty wi l l
de f i n i t e l y recal l the *�(�� , y o u n g g r a d -
ua te w h o de f i an t l y s t o o d in f ront o f t h e
m o s t p o w e r f u l p e r s o n in M a l a y s i a a n d
a s k e d h i m to r es ign ��� r the "#" /0 s � � �� F � � �g a r o u n d t h e A n w a r Ibrah im's
b l a ck eye e p i s o d e . The s t a t emen t by
that s t u d e n t d r e w large a p p l a u s e f r om
t h e a u d i e n c e w h i c h p r o m p t e d Dr.
M a h a t h i r to g o o n the � E E �� : � � e a n d
d e f e n d e d his a c t i ons . In reply h e m a d e
Nik B Haflz t h e a l l - impor t an t
a n n o u n c e m e n t
tha t h e w i l l no t
res ign as l o n g as he
has i n f l u e n c e o n
t h e c h o i c e o f t h e
l leei ii I :| i l l
illlllii 111111,111 ; c o u n t r y . G a s p s
w h e n he t h e n to ld
the s a m e s t u d e n t that h e h a d o p e n e d
h i m s e l f to a d e f a m a t i o n suit as the P M
d e n i e d _`_ r s ta t ing that A n w a r Ibrah im
had self-inf l icted the in jur ies to ga rne r
s ympa thy , as w a s a c c u s e d by t h e q u e s -
t ioner . At t h e e n d o f the day, not m a n y
o p i n i o n s , b e it pro , aga ins t or neut ra l ��� r o c c u r r e n c e s in M a l a y s i a , w e r e 9 ��� � � � � d af ter t h e s e s s i o n w i t h t h e
P M .
'No t a� F��(�� ' s e e m e d to be the
o rde r of the day in Kua la 5 +VK+ r H i g h
C o u r t as A n w a r I b r ah i m s t a r t ed h is
d e f e n c e , t e s t i f y i ng f r o m the w i t n e s s
box . J u d g e A u g u s t i n e Paul had ru l ed
that any m e n t i o n or i m p l y i n g the exis-
t e n c e o f a po l i t i ca l c onsp i r a c y to b r i n g
d o w n A n w a r w a s d i s a l l o w e d , s t a t i ng
that it w a s � � �� F��(� t to the p o w e r cor-
r u p t i o n c h a r g e s . Th i s d i d no t d e t e r
A n w a r f r o m t e l l i ng the cour t that h e
h a d m a d e m a n y e n e m i e s wh i l s t inM��-
e r n m e n t a n d m a n y t i m e s imp l i c a t ed Dr.
M a h a t h i r , c l a i m i n g that t h e P M w a n t e d
to ' f in ish h i m o f f . Anwar , c o n f i d e n t and
c h e e r f u l as a lways , b c b n m a n a g e d to
l i gh t en t h e s e r i o u s m o o d of the p ro-
c e e d i n g s by m a k i n g h u m o r o u s , sarcas-
tic r emarks aga ins t t h e P M , the po l i c e
a n d s o m e o t h e r � �T � � �T+( F s w h o m he
m a i n t a i n ed had p lo t ted to ruin h i m polit-
ical ly. The f o r m e r D P M d e m o n s t r a t e d
that h e w a s n o o rd ina ry w i t n e s s a n d
c o n s t a n t l y e n g a g e d in h e a t e d
e x c h a n g e s w i t h t h e pu b l i c p r o s e c u t o r s
w h e n h e w a s K����� ��d f r o m exp la in ing
his a n s w e r s . At o n e t i m e h e w a s bc b n
a c c u s e d o f b e i n g ��(: � � � . defn t h o u g h
it is still ear ly days, it is c lear that A n w a r
a n d his l awyers w i l l f i nd it i nc reas ing l y
diff icult to K���e his assert ion of the exis-
t e n c e o f a 'po l i t i ca l consp i r a cy ' w h e n
the m e r e m e n t i o n o f the ph ra se is not b c b n p e r m i t t e d by t h e j u d g e .
0 e 2
l d
-MM
l :ghijkm
s
e
Sher f i e ld ' s h a l l o w e d hal ls c a m e l m n oe
w i t h c o l o u r a n d o n p q l r s c as t h e
b o h e m l a n m e l t i n g pot that Is In terna-
t iona l N i g h t m a d e its a n n u a l a p p e a r -
ance , t h e OSC ' s f l agsh ip totr u , s t a g e d
on Friday 12 February, v qw o n x td t h o s e in
a t t e n d a n c e t h e o p p o r t u n i t y to qtot l in
the Co l l ege ' s w e a l t h o f cul tura l xnotqynuz .
" O n e o f t h e i m p o r t a n t a n d u n i q u e
character is t ics o f Imper ia l C o l l e g e is its
in te rnat iona l cu l ture " , s ta ted t h e a b s e n t
Rector as h e s w r o t z t d his best w i s h e s .
A co-opera t ion e q u a l in s t a n d i n g to th is olqntuy w a s t h e key to t h e {|{ }~ � s suc-
cess, w i th m a n y o f the c o l l e g e ' s wotq-
seas soc i e t i e s s h o w c a s i n g the i r ta lents .
The f o o d fair, w h i c h o p e n e d the totru , t r ea ted t h e m u c h pu t u p o n s t u -
dent taste b u d s to a m u l t i t u d e o f d e l i -
cac ies f r o m ac ross the g l o b e . � n� n utd
to only two se lec t ions e a c h an expectant
c r o w d m i l l e d a r o u n d t h e M D F I in a
qu an da r y as the f lor id cu l ina ry d e l i g h t s
b e c k o n e d to t h e m . The la rge quan t i t y
of f o o d left as the fair c l o s e d s u g g e s t e d
an inc rease in yt qo n r� s per t icket w o u l d
l ead to less w a s t e a n d m o r e wa i s t l i n e ,
a l t h o u g h the r ap tu rous gl int in t h e eyes
o f the m a n y ytqotqs s u g g e s t e d g o o d
h o m e s w o u l d be f o u n d for the exces s .
M a n y o f the soc i e t i e s o p t e d for the tra-
d i t iona l d i s h e s w h i c h i n c o r p o r a t e d t h e
major e l e m e n t s o f the na t ion ' s d iet . A
case in po in t w a s the G e r m a n Soc ie ty ,
o f f e r i n g W i e n e r S chn i t ze l w i t h saue r-
kraut: p u n g e n t p i c k l e d c a b b a g e m e r c i -
fully t a m e d by the b r e a d e d ��� l cut le ts .
The ae s the t i c a w a r d for t h e t o t r n r g
surely w e n t to the p r o d u c t o f t h e j a p a n -
ese Society w h o w e r e yt qo nrg beautiful ly
p r e s e n t e d s u s h i , t h e b o l d c o l o u r i n g
b e l i e d t h e m i l d � m l ow� q . The Sri �lr�lr � s c h i c k e n d i sh w a s strictly
for t h e ���|e or a c c u s t o m e d , the
sp i cy r ice w a s c o m p l e m e n t e d by t
t h e part icular ly sp icy c h i c k e n
A p p e t i t e s a p p e a s e d ,
t h o s e in a t t e n d a n c e w e r e
s u b j e c t e d t o a n insp i r i ng
j o u r n e y t h r o u g h s o m e
o f the rich tradit ion a n d
cul ture the Co l l ege had
to o f fe r . The� wonl l olq n-ety s h o w was ,
t o say t h e
least eso te r i c
in p l a c e s , �l o n rg ����ho p e n e d w i th
the c u s t o m a r y f l ag s h o w , m a n y
o f t h e soc i e t i e s p r e s e n t e d intr i-
cate p lo ts d e e p l y r o o t e d in the i r
count ry ' s he r i t age . H is tory w a s o n e o f
t h e major t h e m e s o f the t o t r n r � , w i t h
m a n y o f the acts d e m o n s t r a t i n g enter-
pr ise a n d wit in t r ac ing the i r soc ie ty ' s x t o t m w v�tr u : n o n e m o r e c o m p r e h e n -y notmy t han t h e J a p a n e s e p r e s e n t a t i o n
w h i c h d e e m e d it necessa ry to start w i th
t h e s l o t� t n as they d e s c r i b e d the i r
count ry ' s p r o g r e s s i o n t h r o u g h re l ig ious
h a r m o n i s a t i o n a n d agr icu l tura l subs i s-
t e n c e t h r o u g h to the current p rospe rous
wes t e rn industr ia l i sm. It w a s hea r t en ing
to s e e t h e Koreans , w h o s e act f o l l o w e d
a s imi la r fo rmat , take s u c h a s a n g u i n e o n tw o f the Fast's cur rent e c o n o m i c cri-
sis.
O n o c c a s i o n s t h e s tage-p lay
a p p r o a c h e d o b s c u r i t y a n d the o f t e n t� styy n o e l i gh t i ng e f fec ts d i d not he lp
matters. But the sheer e n t h u s i a s m o f all
t h o s e n r ow motd w a s o n e o f the s h o w ' s
major assets, g a i n i n g the a u d i e n c e ' s
respect a n d a p p r e c i a t i o n .
Trad i t iona l d a n c e s f o r m e d a
ma jor part o f t h e t o tr n r � � s
e n t e r t a i n m e n t , w i th o lq z n rg
s tandards o f cho reog raphy .
The M a l a y s i a n G a d i s Sar-��� �' d a n c e w a s o n e o f
the show ' s m o r e s o p h i s -
t i c a t e d p e r f o r m a n c e s ,
t h e e l e g a n t �w o t -
m e n t s i n t e n d e d to
be � qt � m tsu n oe o f a
j o y o u s a n d h a p p y
. tmosphe re " .
M u c h o f t h e
d a n c i n g
w a s per-
o r m e d to mel-
t r a d i t i o n a l
m u s i c � n o tn a m o d -
ern a p p e a l w i th a beat- laden t e m p o ,
an i n f ec t i ous c o m b i n a t i o n w h i c h o f t en
had the a u d i e n c e c l a p p i n g a l o n g .
The re w e r e ol q nw� s c o m p e r e s for
the night, w h o s e shame l e s s space-fi l l ing
g r e w inc reas ing l y c o m i c a l as the n ight
w o r e o n . Their p l ight w a s not h e l p e d
w h e n acts s u c h as t h e g ros s l y e l o n -
g a t e d be l ly d a n c e f a i l ed to e n g a g e the lu utru noe c r o w d .
U n d o u b t e d c r o w d � l o w� q n u e w a s
' S i ngapo re T o w n ' , an act w h o s e s u b -
d u e d b e g i n n i n g s i l l-prepared t h e a u d i -
e n c e for the h i l a r i ous �tyu n ol l o f f u n
that e n s u e d . In w h a t c a n o n l y b e
desc r i bed as a Se same Strect-cum-Brady
B u n c h d r a m a t i s a t i o n , p o r t r a y i n g t h e
s y m b o l i s m o f the i r n a t i ona l f l ag , the
S i n g a p o r e Soc ie ty had t h e a u d i e n c e in
fits o f l augh te r as they b o u n d e d a b o u t
t h e s t age in w ot q y n � t d f ace masks . The
p s e u d o nurse ry r h y m e a c c o m p a n i m e n t
e x p l a i n e d t h e f lag's o r ig ins a n d w e n t on
to nar ra te a s k e t c h o f S i n g a p o r e ' s m o d -
ern-day l i fe.
T h e e u p h o r i c c o n c l u s i o n t o t h e
s h o w s a w al l t h o s e n r o w m otd take the
s tage , m a n y t r i u m p h a n t l y b r a n d i s h i n g
f l ags . The s c e n e e p i t o m i s e d the O S C olq nt u z� nr��lq�wry e th i c .
A f ire a l a r m t e m p o r a r i l y p o s t p o n e d
the t o t r n r � � s p r o c e e d i n g s but f a i l ed to
d a m p e n spir i ts at t h e a f te r-show d i s co .
The n ight 's ec l ec t i c a p p e a l f l o w e d on to
the d a n c e f loor as the JCR w a s f i l led with
a u n i q u e s e l e c t i o n o f R ' n ' B b h a n g r a
a n d � � � n G r e e k d a n c e m u s i c . The
p a c k e d d a n c e f l o o r w e r e wp o n w� y m y
c a m e to party a n d d i d not a p p e a r to
ob jec t to t h e b i z z a r e i r regular i ty o f the
t rans ien t m u s i c . O n e o f t h e to tr nr� � s
h i gh l i gh t s w e r e t h e sk i l l ed S ikhs w h o
t o o k to the d a n c e f loor a r m e d w i th their
d r u m s a n d s o u n d e d out t h e beat to the
m o d e r n d a n c e t racks - truly a s ight to
b e h o l d .
The SCR v qw o n x td a feast o f easy mno-
i n g f r o m la id-back fo lk t o t h e du l ce t
t o n e s o f j a z z , t h e b a n d v qw o n x t d a w e l -
c o m e q tv q n t oe f r o m t h e� t l o n r g JCR
d a n c e f loor .
A l t h o u g h s o m e w h a t f o r m u l a i c in
their a p p r o a c h , e m p l o y i n g t h e s tandard
fo rmat o f v qt o n w� s years , t h e O S C pro-o n x t d e n o u g h to k e e p t h e r e t u r n i n g
a u d i e n c e e n t e r t a i n e d a n d �� � e those � � � � �¡g the i r first In te rna t iona l N ight , a
u n i q u e a n d m e m o r a b l e spec t a c l e .
fs
I C U Finance Society and K P M G presents
An
Thurs. Feb 6:30 pm
Clare Theatre, Huxley Building
e
)
)
£
e
y G
Please sign up by Wed 24 Feb: Contact [email protected]
2 s 2
ICU President
9 Patrickson t
l
I thinkthe point of this question is h o w they
are go ing to ¢£¤¥¦¥e in light of the BUSA sit-
uation. I think hybrid entry has been
explained fully already. O n e of the key issues
I feel I need to raise is what happens w h e n
it does actually fully merge. Under BUSA this
has already been ruled, so there will be sin-
gle entry. O n e of the problems I see is with
the medics' rugby team - they are better than
the South Kensington campus. I want to see
their first team entering in the first §¦¥¦¢¦¨©.
If they turn into the IC first team they'll be
entering in the second ª«¬««®¯. I think °±²e
Hellard's maybe mak ing s o m e headway
there but it wou ld be stupid if ICs first team.
which wou ld be mostly medics, was enter-
ing in the second ª«¬««®¯. I think that's a key
point that needs to be dealt with.
t
o
Accommodat ion for a start. I don't know if
the first year undergraduates will be coming
here? or not. I guess with the postgraduates
it will end up in a Si lwood Park type of situ-
ation. If the first year undergraduates are
com ing here, there isn't enough accom-
modat ion as it Is, so that will be something
that'll need to be sorted, that would be the
most urgent th ing o n the Wye Col lege
merger. I really want to ensure that first years
get accommodat ion, because it'll frighten
people off w h e n they're applying il thcyre
not certain of accommodat ion.
e
y
I want to try and inform people, so they'll
know what's going on . Ihere isn't enough
of a cirde of communication going on within
IC, within ICU, within departments, within
CCUs. It all boils down to us communicat ing
more with each other and getting feed-
back I'll be asking for feedback as well.
What Mark Home's do ing with these focus
groups, that's exactly the way I want to go.
It'll Increase ¦©¥¨³¥´µ´©t and it will help ¨¥´¤¶¨µe this feeling of Isolation and exclu-
sion that s o m e people in the IC community
are feeling at the m o m e n t
w
d
?
The question is h o w do you do that ¨¥´r the
next two years, because after that there'll be
three years w h o ·¸¹e all applied to Imperial
Col lege, rather than apply ing to a M e d
School, and then it'll be integrated by itself.
The difficult thing is the next two years - try-
ing to get people to get rid of this secular
idea. The only way w e can d o that is inform-
ing people what you do and what they do.
It shouldn't b e us ¥´¤¢£s t hem - it should be
communicat ing in a circle.
Natasha Newton d
e
n
?
It would be jumping the gun to say h o w
Council is going to ¥¦´w BUSA entry and º»U
entry. It's the President's role to guide and help
phrase emotions, but it's not really personally
my decision. If w e were to merge the clubs,
if that's what Council went for, then I wou ld
use the Boat d u b as my model because that
Boat d u b has worked with medics and IC,
rowing alongside each other for ten years.
When you¼e got such a fine model of h o w
it can work and h o w student resources can
go in an excellent direction, that's where ½¨£¼e got to start.
w
'
e
It's ¥´¤y difficult to justify just the money
O n e of the problems is that the equipment
for rowing Is just so ´¾¿´©¢¦¥´. All that's hap-
pened with the allocation of finance is that
people get what they need, as much as is
possible. Unfortunately w e can't do anything
about the fact that the top eight cost so
much, and w h e n w e ·¸¹e such talent in the
club, would it be right to say 'sorry, guys, you ÀÁ¥´©Ât got the money.' Ihe system out-
wardly is not ¥´¤y fair - but if you want to play
your sport well, we'll back you up one hun-
dred percent. Ihat doesn't mean that just
because you aren't go ing to be a rower
you're not going to get your money it means
if you can show us you're really keen, we'll 楴n you a trial run. and if you d o it from
there, we're behind you all the way
t
n
I don't think that w e should be affiliated to the
NUS. I do think it's a ¥´¤y good idea but if w e
want to join the NUS w e ·¸¹e to ·¸¹e a ref-
erendum of college because it's a ÄÅÆÇl issue,
and it should be something that ´¥´¤y student
has a chance to answer Personally I think
what we're doing as ICU and in combination
with º»º, making 100,000 students com-
pared to our 10,000 - w e are fighting for 鬩-
don Underground to change I ares I air for all.
We are getting discounts, and that can go
towards next year, I ³Á¥¦©g been at UC» last
year for my BSc, I was really quite strongly
attacked by an NUS ¤´¿¤´¢´©ÉÁɦ¥´, I know it's
only one person, but he was really full-on and
political. I would be concerned that that
would happen to us at IC.
r
g
y
t
n
I think it is generic, it is, "students, students,
students..." But that is answering what I per-¶´¦¥e to be as one of the biggest problems
- ICU becomes its o w n club for politics, and
that's all. Specifically the communication side
that's practical, things like the e-mail system
in halls.
9 Pitt t
n
Quite frankly, I feel that it isolates students
of this college from campaigns that take
place in other colleges in the UK. I think w e
lose out in hearing about what they are up
to, h o w they are fighting back against the
attacks on them; for example, fees. The
fight against fees in this college has been led
by SWSS, whereas in NUS colleges demos ·¸¹e beenÁ§¥´¤É¦¢´d quite widely.
w
?
I think quite a lot of good work has been
going on with the links with ÊÈU already. Our
^campaign on the ɤÁ¥´³¶Á¤d issue, I think has
shown our links with º»U to be quite use-
ful. I Ë´³¦´¥e that Matt Hyde has managrxJ
to secure some concessions from Ȩ©§¨n
transport - I think I'd definitely want to keep
up those kind of links, in order to fight as ´ÌÌ´¶É¦¥´³y as °±²e Hellard has been on
issues such as that.
u
m
.
e
l
?
I'm not arguing for a lack of corporate spon-
sorship, but I think it definetely has to be
questioned. IC research, particularly for British
Aerospace, is being used to kill people-jets
manafactured by British Aerospace were
used ´¾É´©¢¦¥´³y in ÈÁ¢t Timor, where a quar-
ter ol the population was killed. I think that
w e should perhaps be looking to companies
with considerably better h u m a n rights
records to fund our college.
Would you d o this to the detriment o f the
students?
I'm not going to come down hard and ÍÎÏÐe
us unfunded, but thete definitely are com-
panies wh ich ·¸¹e considerably better
records that are go ing to want to fund
research at IC.
H o w d o you thinkyou'l l ease the burden of
iMng In Ȩ©§¨n for students?
Publicising the hardship fund is ¨Ë¥¦¨£¢Ì/ a
big thing - there's been talk from °±²e Hel-
lard about the lack of takeup on that, so I
think an occasional mention in Felix isn't
enough toÁ§¥´¤É¦¢e that fully. I thinkthe Ȩ©-
don Transport issue is quite important, I
myself ³¦¥e in z o n e 2 and it costs m e sixty
pounds extra just because the card took
three months to come through. I thinkthat's
unacceptable. I th inkthe campaign against
fees is particularly important; I'm definitely not
turning my back on it. ÑÒe got an excellent
record in fighting against that - I'm probably
the only candidate that has that kind of
experience in that fight.
2 s 3
ICU President
Andy Swift u
.
g
s
OK, basically, ÓÔÓ; I ÕÖ×ØÖÙe that Imperial
Col lege shou ld be a major player in ÓÔÓ .
I ÕÖ×ØÖÙe that as President I shou ld be ØÚÙÛ×ÙÖd in ÜÝÞØÙÖ×y ßÖÙÖ ×Ûà ØÚg and re-
organising ÓÔU in to the next century. Peo-
ple may say that ÓÔU is a waste o f money .
O n the sport ing side o f th ings - if w e
were to disaffiliate f rom ÓÔU (hen w e
wou ld lose all our sport ing fixtures against
major colleges, and these are s o m e of the
key games w e look forward to. It's the rep-
resentation of the students as wel l that's
important. With ÓÔU w e n e e d to áâãe a ÙÛØÝe for the students of äÛÚßÛÚ , basically
- if Imperial Col lege were to go it a lone w e
w o u l d lose out on so m u c h . Currently
there is an issue with äÛÚßÛn Transport
and this w o u l d ÚÖÙÖ r áâãe been raised
with the sole back ing of Imperial Col lege.
What d o y o u t h i n k o f the n e w expans ion
plans o f Imperial to Include other co l -
leges?
I feel lhat expand ing Imperial Co l lege to
encapsulate Wye Col lege, wh i ch is the
issue you're raising there, is g o o d because
it àåÛÙØßÖs anothet angle, it br ings more
students into Ihe college. As for the organ-
isational aspect, I ÕÖ× ØÖÙe that it shouldn't
be too m u c h o f a p rob l em to bring these?
students in. It's in a similar situation to Sil-
w o o d Park, and as president it will be for
m e to organise it in such a way that these
peop le don't feel isolated. I k n o w from
personal exper ience, as captain of the
football club, that peop l e f rom S i lwood
Park d o feel isolated. I áâãe tried to br ing
their football ing team together with IC this
year - it's kind o f this communica t ion that's ÙÖåy important.
You spoke o f be ing football c lub captain
- there we re æÖÙÖåÜ l tr ibunals last year
that you we re In s o m e way çÚÙÛ×ÙÖd In;
what áâãe y o u learnt f rom this exper ience
and h o w áâãe you c h a n g e d in order to
prepare yourself for be ing President?
last year I was captain of the fourths'
team, and I was ØÚÙÛ×ÙÖd with a disciplinaa
hearing, which w e were èØÙÖn commun iK
æÖåÙØÝe for. This year, as c lub captain, the
football club's disciplinary record has been
spotless so that ÖÙÖåy player has enjoy-
ment wi thout s tepp ing ÛÙÖr that line that
is d e e m e d irresponsible.
What w o u l d y o u p ropose to d o about
this b ig medic/non-medic split that's go ing
o n at Imperial, that's so ÛÕÙ ØÛés to first
years?
O K -1 understand medica l peop l e áâã e a
six year cou r se that takes up a lot o f
t ime a n d they are d i f fe rent in m a n y
ways to IC s tuden ts . I sa id ton ight that
I'm w o u l d c a m p a i g n for t h e m to áâã e
their o w n sabbat ical w h o w o u l d be able
to add ress their i ssues to U n i o n C o u n - .
cil w h i c h I th ink is ÙÖåy impor tan t .
iShanakaI
s
e
g
e
o
There are a lot of companies that êëìe has
gone for which in general d o student dis-
counts anyway. I'll be trying to g o for more
local companies that are around the South
Kensington campus, and also the Charing
Ooss and St Mary's campus, which êëìe has-
n't handled so far.
o
l
e
That's the thing. I'm not really go ing for Cí
points here. As far as I'm concerned, If I take
the year out it's a îÖÜÙy commitment to the
Union. If I want to g o and get a job I should
hope I could get a good job from my acad-
emic record, and earn a good salary. Ifs not
that I'm do ing this for Cí
points - because I
think that my Cí
is already quite good .
Referring back, to your manifesto, you want
to persist with hybrid entry. H o w do you
Intend to reopen the Issue and be success-
ful?
firstly I wou ld like to point out that a lot of
medics that are n o w a part of our college
applied to different colleges, they applkxj it)
St Marys school of medicine and Charing
Cross medical school. I think it is grossly
unfair that you should expect them, just
because there was a merger, to be consid-
ered IC students - a lot of them don t con-
sider themsokes to be IC stuck ;nts. I hey con-
sider themsek es to be of their respected col
leges. I really d o think that you should not
create bad feeling for those people I a m for
integration - in the long run, there is a merger
process that's taking place, and in the: long
run I do want single entry, so I think Imper-
ial College teams should be the best teams
w e can put out. At Ihis critical moment w e
are in the middle of a merger -1 want to
make it as painless as possible for the med-
ical students because: I do not want to cre-
ate bad feeling a m o n g I h c m
t h o w do you Intend to g o against
A w h e n the Issue's already dosed?
\oth ing Is set in stone. Nothing nothing ÖÙÖr
is - it's all politics. It's h o w you deal with the
Issue. If there arc enough medics that say
w e want dual entry, it'll push them in that
direction. ïÕÙØÛéæ×y BUSA has an agenda -
they want single entry at a certain date. I think
w e should try and resist that as much as pos-
sible lo make sure that the medical schools
take this merger as long as possible, so that
the people in higher years don't áâãe bad
feelings.
You said in your manifesto that you áâãe had àåÖÙØÛés experience in Un ion dubs and
positions. What are these and w hy do you
thinkthey áâãe prepared you for being Pres-
ident? ðñòe been a part of the Un ion f inance Com-
mittee, I was îÖÜÙØ×y çÚÙÛ×ÙÖd in STOIC last
year, and I was quite crucial in establishing
its æéØÙØÙÜ×. n Polounovsky,
We'd like to know two quantifiable policies
that you wou ld Introduce If you were ÙÛÞÖd
In next year.
Well, I'd like, for a start, to make the Un ion a
more quantifiable place. I wou ld like to
make a change in the Union on friday nights
because they s e e m to be ÙÖåy m u c h åÖæÖåÙÖd to be the same kinds of music, ori-
entated to the same type of people. So I was
hoping that shows like the b o m b could be
put on a Friday night or allocated a longer
time. I think the election campaign system
is too bureaucratic, with too many rules. It's
not surprising that so f ew students ÙÛÞe
w h e n there is only two weeks of c am -
paigning and the size of the posters are so
limited.
o
t
f
d
l
I think it's definitely not mixed enough .
Because half the population of Imperial col-
lege is from ÛÙÖåæÖÜs I think w e should inte-
grate their cultures to make a freindler place
for al! people. To make the college more cos-
mopolitan, think w e should celebrate other
cultural ÖÙÖÚÞs in the Union, for example Chi-
nese new year and Eeid, as well as the tra-
ditional christian ÖÙÖÚÞs such as Christmas and
Easter.
h
h o w wou ld you ease the burden of iMng In äÛÚßÛÚ?
I 'i ' Iops itn iducing cheaper phono calls tc >
loi i ion companies; arranging with ÞåÜÙÖl
n )inii ó (I i|itickets. ôÖßÛîÜ ÙÖ õé Ø × e
i heap tic ki \ ilh SIA ÞåÜÙÖ×, although they
ml always Ihe most student IreiondlÙbodies (hey tend to be a bit bitchy from time
to time. ðñòe had trouble with them myself.
People w h o don't ×ØÙe in äÛÚßÛn should def-
initely get cheaper train tickets, I îÜÙÖ: a friend
w h o can't go h o m e more than ÖÙÖåy Two
weeks because it is so ÖöàÖÚæØÙÖ .
What roles d o you see as the roles the C o n -
stituent College Unions (CCU) play while
you're in the Union office?
It's for communicat ion with the students ÞîÖ÷æÖ×ÙÖæ . I wou ld like the Unions to áâãe
more control ÝÛÙÖr the departments and be
able to influence the contents of the courses
and how they are ÝÛÚÙÖøÖd to the students.
The CCU would be the main channel of c o m
munication which wou ld gather ÖÙÖåøÞîØÚg
that is w rong eith the courses and pass the
information on the; the Union, so w e would
actually be able to act on the issues raised.
What do you think Is your key to success?
I'm ÙÖåy d i f fe rent f r o m the o ther can-
d idates . I ÕÖ × ØÖÙe m o r e in ac t ing , that
the m a n d o e s the j o b , not his k n o w l -
e d g e . .
4 s 2
DP
t Walker w
t
I just s p e n d it wi l ly-ni l ly a c tua l l y .
I d o ùúû e a ü ý þ ÿ e b u d g e t for m y o w n
m o n e y , bu t I jus t s p e n d it o n b e e r .
o
o
B e c a u s e I ùúû e go t a n e c o n o m i c s ������ �, I ùúû e d o n e b u s i n e s s s t u d i e s
GCSE ; I d o a c tua l l y k n o w w h a t I'm
d o i n g I'm just ü� � y f r e e w i t h m y o w n
m o n e y . W i t h o t h e r p e o p l e ' s m o n e y , �� � ü � � , I'm ü�� y c o n s c i e n t i o u s .
w
l
^ By þ ü � g all c l u b t r e a s u r e r s a n d
cha i r s t h e t r a i n i n g that m o s t o f t h e m � � � � ü � d th is yea r a n d a l so m a k i n g
t h e f i n a n c i a l r e g u l a t i o n s c l ea re r a n d
bet te r u n d e r s t a n d a b l e a n d not� ý ü �g
c o n t r a d i c t i o n s in t h e f i n a n c e m a n -
ua l .
Y o u I n t end t o ge t m o r e m o n e y f r o m
C o l l e g e - h o w d o y o u In tend to g o
a b o u t th is?
By� ý ü � g p r o p e r l y j u s t i f i e d b u d -
g e t s , a l s o by p o i n t i n g out l o t h e m
w h y t h e s t u d e n t s n e e d m o r e m o n e y
b e c a u s e w e a r c a n integra l part o f the
c o l l e g e a n d w e n e e d to � � ü � e t h e �� � ü � � s for o u r s t u d e n t s .
H o w d o y o u t h i n k t h a t s t u d e n t s
d
s
u
?
By l e t t i ng all t h e c l u b t r e a s u r e r s
a n d cha i r s k n o w a b o u t t h e f i n a n c i a l
r e g u l a t i o n s , a l so by m a k i n g C o u n c i l
m o r e a p p r o a c h a b l e by t h e s t u d e n t
b o d y t han it cur rent ly is, so they c a n
c o m e a n d l i s ten to the r epo r t s w e
Ian Clifford n
t
.
?
I'm principally talking about training
for treasurers because it's important that
treasurers k n o w the financial regulat ions.
There ùúûe b e e n a lot o f p rob lems this
year with the U n i o n c lubs and in particu-
lar the medical c lubs because they s imply �ýü���t k n o w n what the regulat ions are
and what the Union 's rules are regard ing
payments and gett ing m o n e y back. So a
lot of, for example , medica l c lubs ùúû e
found that they�ýü��� t got the m o n e y
because n o b o d y k n e w they'd pa id it in .
t
���� ?
I a m currently the treasurer of the City
a n d Gui lds Co l lege U n i o n . As treasurer I ùúû e to deal with a lot of matters con-
cern ing the clubs of C&GU, the depart-
menta l soc iet ies , the M o t o r C lub , the
Karting sect ion, the Rugby Club, and in
such respect I ùúû e to k n o w the ins and
outs of the Un ion . I ùúû e also wo rked in
the U n i o n so I ùúû e s o m e idea of the
m o n e y that goes through the U n i o n and
the���ü ��s it ��ü ��� .
A point of tecent content ion has been the
Art Society's subs id ised trips. What's your
s tance o n this a n d wha t are y o u g o i n g to
d o about it?
People ùúûe a lot of contention about
the Arts Society simply because; peop le
feel that it's unfair that they shou ld get a
large amount of money for their members
to g o on trips, whereas members of other
societies ùúû e g o n e o n trips and found
that they�ýü��� t got m o n e y for the �ü���� . I feel that as a sock tty that is specif-
ically a imed at fund ing appreciation of the
arts, they shou ld get s o m e iund ing , but I
also feel that they should a im for s o m e
kind o f external fund ing , either in spon-
sorship or in reduct ions f rom the thio-
s
dramatically
?
There arc a lot of things you cou ld
possibly do . At the m o m e n t I�ýü��� t got
any dramatic changes p lanned , possibly
look ing more at what the clubs a im to do.
They shou ld really try and bid and say �����e d o n e this this and this, and w e
intend to do this in the future." That way,
you can say w h e r e a club is go ing . A lot
of clubs arc on the ü��þe of c los ing or just
t inker ing�ü�r - it is important to see that
peop le ùúûe got ������ . If peop le ùúûe got !"!#n then clubs can g o far - it's not just
the fact that clubs are d o i n g th ings that is
important.
o
u
N o , I don' t ! ^
Paul Hickman u
y
h
,
e
I don't really want to þ üe specif ic
examples, but I was trying to m a k e the
point that the rules are there because
there 's on ly so m u c h m o n e y to g o
around, and I want to make sure that �ü��$��e gets a fair crack of the whip, and
gets the m o n e y that they �����ü� . %&ü -ously there may be except ional c i rcum-
stances, but that's w h a t the capita l
expenditure fund is for.
w
e
I'm not really sure what you're asking,
I'm there to be responsible to the presi-
dent for f inances and���ü ��� , but If the
other sabbaticals ùúûe got an'
quest ions
to do with f inances and���ü ��� , t hen I'll
be there to help them as n eeded .
o
s
r
u
Gaps... difficult to say, really. I'm hop-
ing that the results of the focus groups that
arc occurring at the momen t will tell m e
whether there are any gaps that need to be
addressed and, if so, I'll try and look at fill-
ing t hem if possible. It may be that the ser-ü��s people want just aren't affordable.
t
d
e
n
1 wouldn' t say stolen my idea - to ùúûe stolen it he w o u l d ùúûe had to ha\ e
known I had it It was an idea I had in mind
w h e n I was thinking about standing, it just
h a p p e n e d that I was beaten to it - wh i ch
is g o o d . The Un ion is trying to ��ü �e the; ���ü ��s peop le want and listen to what
peop le want.
t
d
I understand what the Un ion financial
regulations are. did get caught out at the
hustings on on e quest ion, but I think that
was more mental b lock on stage than
anything else: I knew then answer and was
quite upset that I caught out. I know how
the f inances work, but I�ýü���t actually
been a club treasurer, I'll be honest on that,
but I do k n o w what the rules and regula-
tions are a round the Un ion , and I &�(�üe
I can help peop le to understand them.
o
y
?
I &�(�üe most clubs get a fair subsidy
f rom the budge t ing round, but�&ü �ÿ�(y
as DPtF&S) I w o u l d be on the budget ý�ü���y group and UFC to help make sure
that if peop l e d o ùúûe a specific need we
can sort out that p rob lem.
2 s
DP & ) m Trailor
What are you r ) *+, s o n t h e current
medlc/non-medlc c lub hybrid split?
Hybrid's probably the best sys tem -./0e got at the m o m e n t , a n d I'd like to
see that go ing for at least the next two and
a half years, wh i ch is the ag reed per iod ,
and I'd like to look at possibly ex tend ing
that, especially for the b ig clubs and soci-
eties w h o 123 e fulfi led their full quo ta of
BUSA teams, for possibly a couple of years
after that. But once-./ 0
e had the full
quota of medics through the South Kens-
ington campus , I t h i n k w e ' d then n eed to
look at 45675879g the situation. But keep
it until-./0
e had the full quota of students
through the South Kens ington campus .
I understand :;< = > e had qui te a lot o f
exper ience In the sport ing s ide o f things,
but wha t about w h e n It c o m e s to ?654-
see ing societies - what experience d o you 123 e for this? @654A5Bs societies. I CDEF GHt actually
had m u c h contact with the ?654A5Bs soci-
eties at Imperial, but I think that it's impor-
tant to fund I>I Jy club and society, and KLMe got quite a g o o d background, in that
I N9?66BO?P l mul ik nili nal i .u -.and reli-
gious issues, i wi luld like lo apply that gen-
eral background to the dubs and societies
here at IC.
W o u l d y o u change the current procedure
for sett ing up a n e w club and help Q76e
m o t e support to n e w clubs?
I here is currently quite a g o o d p r o
cedurc for setting up n e w clubs and soci-
eties - there is a handbook out wh ich tells
you in quite a lot of detail what you n eed
to d o to set up a club. Anyone w h o comes
into the resource centre on the first floor
of the Un ion bui ld ing will f ind out f rom
either Nei l O 'Shaughnessy , w h o s e the
administrator there, or f rom the DP (C&S),
exactly what needs to be done . It's a fairly
pain free process.
What is your op i n i o n o f RSU and the cur-
rent stance o f Imperial w i th in that Union? RSU pretty much mirrors the; BUSA sit-
uation in terms of leagues and things like
that, and especia l ly Ihe entry require-
ments, a l though it didn't for part of last
year. It's the hybrid entry system - the
same teams can enter in both compet i -
tions.
In your hust ings s p e e c h y o u w e r e talking
about sports g round in Ealing Impe-
rial was th ink ing about sel l ing off. Why d o
y o u th ink that 'd be good?
It's a sport g r o u n d that's currently
be ing rented out for agricultural use, or it
was once a sports g round apparently. It
was m e n t i o n e d in a T ?UV 4 5W 59 A 7 6 e 45675w that t rank Murray d id last mon th
in wh i ch they're look ing at rationalising
Imperial Co l lege sports g rounds . As it's a
ground that's not actually used by anybody
at the m o m e n t it w o u l d be quite a g o o d
candidate for sel l ing off wi thout causing
anybody any prob lems .
DuncanCou ld y o u expand o n your ideas o n h o w
you expect c lubs t o m a k e Income ?65 r
the year?
I th ink there are o n e or t w o societ ies
that are already pretty adept at br ing ing
their o w n m o n e y into the U n i o n . Dram-
Soc, wh ich I 123e personal exper ience of,
is one of those, and clubs like the Pimllco
society, w h o are sponso red externally, I O5X7565 . I think w e n eed to 7965AY7QBYe the
possibility o f whe the r external sponsor-
ship can V4?6 7Ze extra money , as in the
current e con om i c cl imate 5654O?Z[\s WB6-
ing to t ighten their belts.
A n d h o w w o u l d y o u p r o p o s e to he lp
these c lubs get sponsorsh ip?
I w o u l d be l ook ing at commun i ca t -
ing wi th compan i e s in the S?9Z?n f inan-
cial markets, c o m p a n i e s that w e tradi-
tionally 123e a g o o d relationship with, like
Ande r sen Consul t ing, that kind of th ing.
We w o u l d be saying 'look, you're com in g
and head-hunt ing at Imperial I>I Jy year,
you can 123 e a lot o f g o o d publicity and
press f rom he lp ing our sports and soci-
eties.' I w o u l d then be operat ing as a
mediator be tween the compan i e s and
the clubs - trying to put peop le together,
arrange meet ings , that kind of th ing.
What is your stance o n the medic/non-
med i c sport ing situation, and h o w w o u l d
y o u m a k e hybrid entry easier?
There 's quite a few prob lems with
the: hybrid system at the moment , mainly
]^_`a`bcd]c`efg. It is d o i n g its job - it is pro-hij ik
g the medics the opportuni ty to play
for either ICSM or ICU. But there arc:
prob lems with trying to work out w h o s e
p lay ing lor w h i c h t eam a n d s t o p p i n g
them playing for more than o n e t eam in
a season, and also prob lems administra-Y765Xy with BUSA and the lmU leagues
send ing information to us w h e n it should
be go ing to St. Mary's. We need V4?BTY76e 5nn5TY76e c o m m u n i c a t i o n lo ?65 4 T?U e
Pthis p r o b l e m , m a k i n g sure that BUSA
knows what 's g o i n g o n .
What m a d e y o u wan t to d o this j ob , and
what clubs and societ ies 123 e y o u b e e n 796?X65d with? KLMe been a m e m b e r of DramSoc for
four years, director of act ing for o n e year;
I set up and a m cha i rman this year of the o9674?9U59YB l Society, KLMe been 796?X65d
with Pimlico society for a term as a tutor,
and KLMe been a m e m b e r of 6B47?Ps other
societ ies inc lud ing ArtSoc and St John's
A m b u l a n c e S79NA. The reason I wanted to
d o this was essential ly because I f ound it pq ry difficult ?65 r the last coup le of years
to be as 796?X65d wi th the U n i o n as I
w o u l d like, primarily because of financial
constraints and because I find the degree
at Imperialpq r
y d e m a n d i n g - w h o does-
n't? DP (C&S) will Q76e m e the opportunity
to really get stuck in and d o what KLMe
b e e n w a n t i n g to d o for the last four
years.
Standing
New Election,
6 s 2
DP (Mutations Butcher t
t
I think the role is fairly unde f ined at
the m o m e n t , and the biggest part o f the
job w o u l d tuvwxve taking a lot o f work off
the president, which is really good because
it means they'll be able to be more of a
f igurehead. I think the ma in points arc
be ing tuvwxvyd with the welfare commi t-
tee, a c c o m m o d a t i o n , a c a d e m i c affairs,
s tudent zy v y x w {|yu t - t hose k ind of
things that w o u l d be }wvy ~yd by the e d u -
cation and welfare remit. But as I say in my
manifesto it's g o i n g to take m e the s u m -
mer to pull a j ob descr ipt ion together .
e
|wv e In a n d to change . H o w d o y o u
Intend to m a k e a stand for the students
w h e n it c o m e s to a situation o f conflict?
I think be ing a postgraduate has really
he lped out - I'm tuvwxvyd with lots of
c o m m i t t e e s in the depar tment , most
notably the health and safety commi t tee
in the Biochemistry Department, as a post-
graduate ~y{~y�yu���tvy . Recently I was
s e c o n d e d to the International Studenls
Commit tee , and they d o listen to what stu-
dents ��� e to say. Ihey're always not try-
ing to be too forceful - thev may seem like
a s low |wv tug organisat ion with regards
to students, but they d o listen. It's be ing
force fu l a n d n ice a n d put t ing a point
across
t
t
n
I th ink the Health Centre and the way
they're running it at the m o m e n t is prob-
ably OK consider ing the staffing xyvyx�, but
11 think in terms of �y~vt}e and quality it's
not �� �y g o o d at all. It should be open dur-
ing office hours plus a f ew more either
side. I think be ing c losed on a luesday
a f ternoon is really poor .
e
m
y
I think certainly this year, a n d I don ' t
want to d o d o w n anyone w h o has b e e n
tuvwxvyd this year, is the fact that they are
non-sabbatical posit ions and are do ing it
in their spare t ime. I think someth ing that's
been lacking this year is awareness of ��� ��s and I think this is a b ig thing to
focus on next year.
w
,
n
I think the biggest way is gett ing out
there. Certainly today w h e n I was in the JCR
I got a lot of peop l e talking to m e about
the posit ion. I th inkthe educat ion and wel-
fare stuff o n the w e b is o ld, to a certain
degree - it's not bad, but it certainly needs
updat ing.
Felix Editor
Roberts w
s
e
I th ink it � tvy s m e s o m e all r o u n d
k n o w l e d g e o f w h a t Felix is a b o u t . The
f i lm edi tor m a k e s m e get t u vw x v yd w i th
all t he o the r s t u d e n t s w h o c o m e in
w h o w a n t to c o n t r i b u t e a n d m a k e s
m e get u s e d to the e d i t i n g p r o c e s s .
D o i n g a lot o f n e w s w r i t i n g , I ge t t o
k n o w all the p e o p l e a r o u n d t h e U n i o n
and a r o u n d C o l l e g e , so I ge t to k n o w
just w h o ' s i m p o r t a n t a n d w h e r e to g o
for i n f o r m a t i o n . A n d b e i n g �zvy ~ � t � t ug
M a n a g e r � tvy s m e a fair ly so l i d g r a sp
of the f i n a n c e s o f Felix a n d w h e r e all
t h e m o n e y c o m e s f r o m w h i c h ,
a l t h o u g h it 's not s o m e t h i n g that s t u -
d e n t s reallv care a b o u t �� �y m u c h , is a �� �y i m p o r t a n t part o f the j o b .
o
r
?
Ihe first t h i n g is just to m a k e it
s e e m f u n - I m e a n , o n e of the b i g
t h i n g s w e get is a n a w f u l lot of ~ y v t yw
wr i te rs , b e c a u s e it 's l u n , y o u get a lot
o f f r e e b i e s out o f it - y o u got a lot o f
f ree m u s i c a n d f r ee f i lms , a n d that
k i nd o f t h i ng . N e w s wr i ters , f r o m that
po in t o f v ty� , a n d Feature wr i ters - it's
just a case of s e e i n g you r n a m e in
pr int , it's f u n There 's qu i t e a rush in
s e e i n g you r n a m e in print o n M o n d a y
m o r n i n g . After a f e w w e e k s t h i n g s
c h a n g e , y o u reallv get the s e n s e that � �� � �e m a d e a d i f f e r e n c e , w h i c h is a
w o n d e r f u l t h i n g a b o u t the j o b . a n d
o n e of the th ings I reallv l ike - just the
c h a n c e to really f ee l y o u m a k e a dif-
f e r e n c e .
A
d
s
from
t
?
I t h i n k Felix is a lways �� �y i n d e -
p e n d e n t - I don ' t th ink w e take t o o
m u c h o l a l ine - certa in ly not a c o l l e g e
l i ne . I t h i nk mos t of the: t im e w e m a n -
a g e to �vw td a U n i o n l ine - o n e o f the
g
;
d
e
e
a
,
g
o
y
n
?
e
s
y
y
g
Stuart C o o k
t
EXERCISE YOUR DEMOCRATIC RIGHT
I
k
I single transferable ���� ���� ��g is a complicated busi-
ness, and unless you think care-
fully about exactly what you are
writing on that �� ¡¢g slip, the
entire election may collapse into
complete chaos.
ST£
works like this:
1. You ¤¥¦e by indicating with a
"1 " the candidate of your first
choice, a "2" for your second
choice and so on until there are
no more candidates to ¤¥¦e for
or you no longer wish to cast a ¤¥¦e on the remaining candi-
dates.
. The �� §s are counted.
. If no candidate has won ��§r ¨©% of the �� §ª , the person
who attained the least �� §s has
their �� §s re-allocated.
. The person with the least �� «§s
is e l iminated. On the ballot
papers where they were first
choice the 2nd choice become
a 1st choice, 3rd becomes 2nd
and so on. The �� §s are trans-
ferred as if those �� §s were
be ing counted again from
scratch, then we go back to point
3 and continue until someone
wins the elections.
.¬®¯°±¯²³´µ asked°±¯¶³·¸²¶¹
How do Iº»¼e In the ICU
sabbatical elections?
Take your union card to a ballot
box and fill out the �� ¡¢g slips.
What is a "union card"?
A tanastic card which gels you
discounts, allows you entry to
the Union, and lets you ¤¥¦e in
these elections. You need to
present your registration slip
and a photo to the Union Office
on the first Floor of Ihe Union
Building to get one.
Does my º»¼e really matter?
Yes - il is important lhal you
express your opinion as the peo-
ple elected will directly affect
your Un ion , your ents, your
clubs, and ½¾½n your Union
food!
Who do Iº»¼e for?
Read Ihe manifes loes in last
weeks Felix and speak to the
candidates. Try and decide who
you think will do a good job and
best represent your interests.
When can I ¿ÀÁÂ?
f rom 10am to ÃÄm Monday 22
and Tuesday 23 Feb.
When are the final results
announced? ÅÆÇe Tuesday night in ICU.
T BOX S
jc Un ion Bui lding
jc Huxley Building
jl Junior C o m m o n Room
j t B iomedical Sciences Bui lding
jl Royal School of M ines
x Chemistry/Biochemistry
jl Mechan ica l Engineer ing
x Char ing Cross Campus
I St Mary's Campus
jr. Electrical Engineer ing
j i Aeronautics/Chemical Engineer ing
I ÈÉʺº»»d Park
I RPMS (Monday 22nd Only)
x ËÌÍI (Tuesday 23rd Only)
O
8 c 2
Dark alleys, sinister "bad guys" and e n o u g h mindless ÎÏÐÑÒÓÔe to make a M e d i c cringe.
ICU ÕÖÐÎÏ×Òs a ØÙÚt array of med i a forms for its ÏÛÕÜÝÝÏÎe and ÞÓÜÕÕÖÒÔÏÜß ÏÎe students.
Yet, it does not s e e m to offer anyth ing that specifically quenches
the thirst o f the current generat ion of Playstation h ood l u m sà
and Star Wars: áÕ ÏÝÐ×e 1 nutcases. (Apparently these pcop f
called "students" for reasons of politics and economic : bank-
ruptcy). â
Dur ing the latter mon ths of 1998, a solut ion to this f am ine was f o u n d . F ãÜÎ ÏÓg b e e n mental ly mutated by ÐÎÒÖÒäÕÐÝÞÖe to the general med ia , a small
g roup of "students" embarked on a quest - a quest to create a publ i-
cat ion that w o u l d be worthy e n o u g h to satisfy the åæçæèe hunger of all "stu-
dents " in Imperial Co l lege .
t o l l o w i n g m on t h s o f practice to ÜÔéÏÒÎe excel lence In the
art f o rm k n o w n only as "Quake 2", wo rk began on p roduc ing the first pages of the
n e w publ icat ion. Practically ÔÐÓÔÒ ÏÎÒd in the backya rd of City & Gui lds Co l lege U n i o n
or their off ice at least), these min ions spat on anyone w h o so m u c h as êëên
muttered "Beano" , "Dandy" or that great institution of British art, ìíîïì. The result? This page ÔÐÓÎÒðs the first images of the ÒÎÏ l and w i cked ideas that ñòóe t ranscended through the brains of these "students". áÐÐk closely. áÐÐk hard. You
can almost see the hardcore caffeine addiction that possesses these people. The count-
less hours that ñòóe been spent on each stroke inc lude the t ime spent in front of a
poo l table, wa tch ing Ne ighbours and argu ing ÐÎÒr whether a plot has accidental ly
s l ipped into the "story".
first on the literal drawing board is a west-
ern, Clint Eastwoods style. Smok ing
guns, large hats and filthy
bars. If only watch-
ing
Written by:
Dinesh Ganesarajah
Artwork by: Pete Ho, James ôõö÷øöùù
, James Cooke
Ne ighbou r s
s this g o o d .
"Kn i fe Edge " is a semi-
futuristic strip or ientated a round the
artists' ÑÐÎe for robots, ÎÜÛÕÏÖÒs and /
anyth ing ÎÜúÞÒÑy manga . Yes - it's a male ;
th ing .
Is it True áÏÒÝ? Is it James Bond? N o - its "Raptor". Assas-
sins for hire d o not c o m e in any ûÑÜÎÐÞr like this. As cool oni
w o m a n as o n guns, feminist groups will ñòóe their shotguns < '
ready.
"Worlds Apart" features f lying space ships, a strange planet cal led D o C
and a fe l low f rom "Eye See Y o u " w h o goes by the n a m e of üýþe Hellard Hell
Bad. A descr ipt ion that might cause s o m e an imat ion with in ICU. Why is this
paragraph not on the front page? /jf
There are a great m an y other strips in the work ings f rom these products Ðûÿ�á�àÕÎ\
a twisted society. The Ü�ÐÎ e is just a taster of what is to c o m e . Those intr igued x� � � � �
)
and w i sh ing to jo in this cultist g roup to write, d raw or just make up the numbers
arc Ü×ÎÏÝÒd to point their c-mailing contrapt ions towards .uk Not g o o d
e n o u g h to write for Felix? Too intelligent for Gui ldsheet? there is always a w e l c o m e
mat for artists, but s ince this g roup is already popu la ted with this fo rm of species, any
other kind is also particularly apprec iated. Rest assured that, u p o n jo in ing this Borg-
like ÔÐÑÑÒÔßÏÎe consc ious, your ÏÓ×ÏÎÏ×ÞÜ l talents and abilities w o u l d be assimilated into,
the w h o l e .
So w h e n does this ÒäÕÑÐÝÏÎe graphical masterpiece finally detonate? Before you
\ are ÔÐÓÎ ÏÓ ÔÒd o f the idea that this a m u s i n g "feature", m u c h like your ç� �y o w n \ , is a work of pure f ict ion, the �� �� �s ñòóe dictated a s u m m e r 1999 launch /
for the highly spectacular first issue. Hold your awe and as ton ishment until then, ,-f
as e x a m relief is on its way. You can almost hear the editors
of Felix and Phoenix w e e p at the amount of material they ñòóe
lost.
In 1972, a crack c o m m a n d o unit was sent to pr ison by a
military court for a cr ime they didn't commi t . These m e n
prompt ly escaped a maximum-security s tockade to the ��s
Ange les u n de rg rou n d . Today, still wan t ed by the úÐÎÒÖÓ-
ment, they ÝÞÖÎÏÎe as soldiers of fortune. If you ñòóe a prob-
lem, if n o o n e else can help, and if you can f ind t hem, maybe
you can hire... the A-Team.
O n the other hand, you should always remember that the
ICU ComicSoc will always ���e any damse l in distress. What
d o you m e a n a slap is all it takes to make a M e d i c cringe?
NEW ELECTION
A NATION'S HOPE
: S. h Feb, , dB's), g X h Feb, , , . s h Feb, , )
: All s (22nd and d Feb)
0
Reviews
Film 2
hg
:
It has l o n g b e e n k n o w n that Rob in
Wi l l iams f i lms ��� ��e neat ly u p into
t w o c a m p s - w o r t h y a n d b e a r d y
(Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society
The Fisher King), a n d s h o w b o a t i n g
(Aladdin, Good Morning ��������Hook, Mrs Doubtfire) - a n d !�! r the
twa in shal l m e e t . Right? No t necessar i ly ,
b e c a u s e Patch Adams a t t empts to c o m -
b ine "#" $y k n o w n W i l l i ams e l e m e n t
under the s u n . Thus , he ' s g r a n d s t a n d -
ing o n e m i n u t e a n d d e w y e y e d t h e next
- p lus h e q u o t e s poetry , w e a r s silly cos-
tumes , %�! &'()s (h ideous ly , but hi lar i-
ously), a n d tries to c h a n g e the w o r l d .
O h , a n d he ' s got a bea rd . S o m e o f the
t ime .
The o ther key factor to his career is
the a m a z i n g w a y in w h i c h h e f l ies f r o m
critical acc la im to utter disaster - for e x a m -
ple, his bril l iant p e r f o r m a n c e in Good
Will Hunting c a m e o n the back o f painful-
to-watch ro les in bo th Flubber a n d Jack.
C o n s e q u e n t l y it s h o u l d c o m e as n o sur-
prise that, *' � � g s u f f e r ed t h e i g n o m i n y
that w a s What Dreams May Come just a
c o u p l e o f m o n t h s a g o , he ' s back o n t o p
f o r m . I n d e e d , t h e ro l e is so R o b i n
W i l l i ams that It's ba re l y p o s s i b l e t o
Beard+!, �!�e that it's really a true story...
. . .Which leads us nice ly to the plot,
w h e r e i n W i l l i ams plays the role o f the
e p o n y m o u s Patch A d a m s , w h o , *'� � g
left his se l f- imposed spel l in a psych i-
atr ic h o s p i t a l , d e c i d e s to en te r M e d
S c h o o l . But (surpr ise surpr ise) , he ' s not
at all h a p p y w i th the sys t em, a n d h e
rebels against the style o f doctor-pat ient
r e l a t i o n s h i p t a u g h t by G u n t o n . H e
prefers a m o r e e m o t i o n a l a t t achment ,
a n d the oppor tun i ty to m a k e the patients
fee l better, t h r o u g h a n a m a z i n g l ine in
slapstick and genera l Robin Wi l l iams style
bu f foone ry . As I sa id be fore , it's a role so
per fec t for h i m that it's hard to+!, �!�e
it's t rue .
OK, so occas iona l l y It's fairly %+� �%- s
that W i l l i ams has s l i p p e d f ree a n d is ./0 12 3 . 4 . 5g at w i l l , but so wha t - he is,
after all, o n e o f the mos t g i f t ed c o m i c s
o f his g e n e r a t i o n . N o , the b igger issue is
t h e g r a t i n g s e n t i m e n t a l i t y w h i c h is
d r a g g e d out o f "#" $y poss i b l e s cene ,
a n d the 6'77 � �e s u s p e n s i o n o f d i sbe l i e f
r equ i red to accep t that M o n i c a Potter
(Martha meet Frank, Daniel and 89:;rence) c o u l d poss ib l y e n d up fa l l ing for
a d e r a n g e d o l d m a n like Wi l l iams.
In t h e e n d , *%<!�! & , t hese p rob-
lems pa le into i ns ign i f i cance - the stan-
da rd d o w n s i d e o f a n y Rob in Wi l l i ams
f e a t u r e . C o n s e q u e n t l y , w h a t ' s left is
s o m e t h i n g w h i c h , whi ls t far f r om bri l-
l iant ( and , i n d e e d , far f r o m W i l l i ams '
best) is n o n e t h e l e s s a n e n g a g i n g , heart-
w a r m i n g story - m a d e all the m o r e spe-
cial t h a n k s t o its real-life basis . Patch
A d a m s h imse l f is the real star - and you ' re
left in w o n d e r that it's t aken thirty years
for t h e story o f s u c h a n a m a z i n g m a n to
c o m e to l ight. Q =>?@n
g
:
Asma l l t o w n w h e r e n o t h i n g s b i g
s e e m s to h a p p e n sets t h e s c e n e
for Affliction. W a d e W h i t e h o u s e ,
N i ck No l t e , is t h e so l e p o l i c e o f f i c e r in
this t o w n , a m e r e f i gu re h e a d in a A B C-lage that has little c r i m e . H is l ife is lit-
t e red w i th t r a g e d y a b r o k e n ma r r i age ,
m e m o r i e s o f a n '+- 7 � � e c h i l d h o o d a n d
a n a g g i n g t o o t h a c h e . N o t h i n g s e e m s
to be g o i n g his w a y unt i l h e s e e s a
c h a n c e for r e d e m p t i o n a n d r e c o g n i -
t ion . W h e n a w e e k e n d h u n t e r d i e s
unde r mys t e r i ous c i r c u m s t a n c e s W a d e
s e e s a c o n s p i r a c y a n d a (%�! &D-E . F! , � !� � g that o n c e h e - (% � ! & s all t h e
so rd id deta i l s his l i fe wi l l t ake a tu rn for
the better , h e in fact starts t o a l i e n a t e
h i m s e l f t h r o u g h his w i l d a c c u s a t i o n s . G%<!�! r w i t h o u t 7% , � � g t h e little n a g -
g i n g th ings in h is l i fe a n a l ter e g o starts
to take f o r m w h i c h u l t imate l y l e ads
h i m to p a r a n o i a .
Affliction is a (,!�! r f i l m , p u l l i n g o n "#" $y H IJKJ LMs cur ios i ty a n d des i r e for a
consp i r acy f r o m th is p o s s i b l e m u r d e r .
I'm
This %�!&D'()��e i m a g i n a t i o n is the cata-
lyst for W a d e ' s s l o w a n d pa in fu l fall into
his fa ther 's f o o t s t e p s : a father 's a l co-
h o l i s m a n d � � % , ! ( e w h i c h is u l t imate l y
passed to his s o n . The f i lm is not � �% ,! t
but the apparent men ta l d i s comfor t aris-
i n g f r o m the a c t i n g is e x t r e m e l y � �� �� .
W a d e ' s fa ther p l ayed by J a m e s C o b u r n
portrays a ( % � � ( � g sen i l e a l c o h o l i c ,
w h o still a b u s e s his son menta l ly desp i te
his o l d a g e . No l t e ' s , o n t h e o the r h a n d ,
s h o w s that h e is def in i te ly a n unde r a t e d
ac tor : as his charac te r drifts in to a l co-
h o l i s m a n d � � % , ! ( e N o l t e starts to
m i m i c his father 's traits, a n d this is w h e n
y o u start to rea l i se t h e pa th t h e f i lm is
t a k i n g .
This f i lm w o n ' t a p p e a l to ! � ! & N% ! :
its b l eak o u t l o o k o n o n e m a n ' s l ife a n d
the � !� � ) '+ ,e ' l ike fa ther , l ike s o n ' story O"P#" s y o u uneasy , *%<! � ! r th is f i lm is
c e n t r e d o n t h e c h a r a c t e r s ' a f f l i c t i o n
rather t h a n t h e s o l u t i o n . The sparse nar-
rat ion by W i l l e m D a f o e is a w e l c o m e
re l ie f as h e essent ia l l y exp l a ins to the
a u d i e n c e w h a t has h a p p e n e d a n d wha t
d o e s h a p p e n to ou r u n f o r t u n a t e char-
acter. Wha t m a k e s Affliction m e m o r a b l e
is t h e w a y t h e story QR S T R s t h r o u g h
this tale, w h i l e subt l y h i d i n g the real
plot, le t t ing it s low ly c o m e to the surface
t o w a r d s t h e f i na l e . Q
Magpie
2
Reviews & competition
m 1
k
e
The re lease o f a n e w c o m p i l a t i o n
a l b u m is UVWV r n o r m a l l y s o m e -
t h i n g to shou t a b o o u t - espec ia l l y
w h e n it's a c o m p i l a t i o n o f S c i e n c e
Fiction T h e m e s . Desp i t e it's s o m e w h a t
u n p r e p o s e s s i n g title, Science Fiction's
Greatest Hits is, XYZVWV [ , t h e e x c e p t i o n
that \[YWVs the rule.
O n M a r c h 29th , Edel r e c o r d s wi l l
re lease this 4 C D set, w h i c h a t t empts to
e n c o m p a s s t h e w h o l e s p e c t r u m o f c i n -
e m a a n d ] V ^ V W _ ` _ Yn S c i e n c e f i c t i o n ,
t h r o u g h a m a m o t h co l l e c t i on o f t h e m e
tunes . a Y ^ bc e 1 is t h e Final Front iers
CD, featur ing YWV r a n hou r o f Ta a n d f i lm
space classics i n c l u d i n g the Star Wars
trilogy, 2007, defg in Space, a n d Star Trek.
The a l b u m n a lso features classics such as
Buck Rogers, as we l l as m u s i c f r o m Total
Recall. aY ^ bc e 2 (The Dark Side) is a far
darker co l l ec t ion of m u s i c f r o m classic
horror f l icks. hij ky Wl[_V]y o f dark, s ick
and `bmWV[`_We taste is catered for, thanks
to a n ice cross-sect ion o f t h e hor ro r a n d
c reepy gen res , w i th m u s i c f r o m The X-
Files, The Twilight Zone, Halloween a n d
The Outer dnongfpa Y ^ bc e 3 (The qU_UW _ ] Vr ) f ea tures
m u s i c f r o m the s h o w s that ch ron ic l e the Wl [ _ Yb s th rea ts to our w a y o f l ife o n
earth . Thus, w e f ind mus i c f r om Inde-
pendance Day, War of the Worlds, Close
Encounters of the Third Kind a n d s ts n
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.
The f inal W Y ^ bc e (De fende r s o f Jus-
tice) features mus i c f r om classic Saturday
m o r n i n g ca r toons a n d f i lms o f super-
h e r o e s i n c l u d i n g Batman, Superman,
The Terminator, Robocop a n d m a n y
more . Wi th e a c h C D h o s t i n g m o r e than
2u tracks and last ing YWV r an hour , this
set is i h c rVv _Ul] ^ We co l l e c t i on for all Sci-
Fi enthus ias ts - an abso lu t e must . Q
Gurminder
Win tickets to e Is Beautiful with the
With al ^ VU ] _ UV s ou t o f t h e w a y for
a n o t h e r year , it 's t i m e t o fo rge t t h e
romant ic s chma l t z a n d get arty. That 's
right, I'm talking about f i lms wi th subtitles.
To be spec i f ic , I'm ta lk ing a b o u t Italian
smash dnwx Is Beautiful. Or iginal ly re leased
in Italy f i f teen m o n t h s a g o , it has w o n yYU][YWV[`y a n d critical a c c l a im al ike for
it's dep i c t i on o f o n e m a n ' s s t rugg le to
stop his ch i ld f r o m r _ ` yY WV [ _ Ug the truth
about the concen t ra t ion c a m p they z{| e
b e e n fo rced into.
As VWV[ , on ly a s imp le q u e s t i o n lies
be tween you and your prize, }\[YW _rVd as VWVr by those ^YWV^y p e o p l e at the O d e o n
Kens ington) , so he re g o e s :
h
t
If y o u k n o w , t h e n ema i l your answers to
f i lm . f e l l x@ l c . a c .uk b e f o r e W e d n e s d a y ~ � ~ � � � �. The first t en n a m e s out o f the W_[]bl l hat wi l l w i n a pair o f t ickets.
The w i n n e r s o f last w e e k ' s This Year's ���� c o m p e t i t i o n , w e r e :
A n d y H o d g s o n
Thanawat M e e s a k �byls C h a n
Chr is B runswick
N ick ie Da le
They all correctly ident i f ied Julia Roberts
as the A m e r i c a n actress w h o wi l l star
a longs ide H u g h Grant in Netting I Till, this
s u m m e r ' s fol low-up to lour Weddings..
P lease d r o p into the Felix o f f i c e (in t h e
Beit a r chway ) s o m e t i m e this w e e k , s o
that y o u c a n p ick up you r p r i zes .
E
eSomet imes y o u can see whe re producers
are c o m i n g f rom - w hy they think that cer-
tain cYW _ V s are wor thy of their _UWV`]-ment , whilst others fall by the wayside.
Sadly, XYZVWV[ , Double Team is n o such cYW_V . Pair ing up k ickbox ing star Jean-
Claude aln D a m m e ( long on name, short
o n talent) w i th N B A bad guy Denn is Rod-
m a n ( long o n silly hairstyles, short on
temper) cou ld only look like a g o o d idea
to the most inebr ia ted of Ho l l ywood ' s
finest, surely? Sadly, XYZVWV[ , as Holly-
w o o d producers are r e n o w n e d for any-
thing but sobriety, that's exactly what w c
get . R o d m a n is an arms dea ler ;��n
D a m m e works for a counter-terrorism
unit; they t e a m up to kill the m a n w h o
murde red aln D a m m e ' s son . You k n o w
the rest. Wor th rent ing for a lads night in
- definitely not wor th buy ing. OK?
e
Jackie Brown, o n the other hand , is a per-
fect example of the kind of cYW_e that any
Ho l l ywood exec w o u l d kill for. Tarantino's
return, after a three year hiatus, wa l tzed
its way into the box off ice b ig league,
despi te a m inuscu l e budget (all the stars
w o r k e d for peanu t s , just to z{| e the
chance of w o r k i n g wi th him). �Y[VYWV[ ,
by c h o o s i n g man-of-the-moment Elmore �VYUl[d (Get Shorty, Out of Sight) for his
source material , he m a d e a safe bet d o u -
bly sure. Samue l I. Jackson, Robert De
Ni ro , Br idget F on da , P am Grier and
Michae l Kca ton all step effortlessly into
carefully crafted roles, and rV^_WVr s o m e
classic Tarant ino d ia logue : "AK-47. W h e n
you absolutely, \Y`_]_WV^y got to kill VWV[y
mo the r fu cke r in the r o o m . Accept no
substitutes." N e e d I say more?
e S o m e h o w , Robert Carlyle isn't a megastar
yet. I don ' t unders tand w hy t h o u g h - he's
starred in two of the biggest British cYW_Vs
o f the n inet ies (Trainspotting, The Full
Monly), a longs ide an a m a z i n g range of
Ta pe r fo rmances . Thus, in Face he once
aga in pulls out a top notch per formance
in an under-written role, l ead ing a group
of�YUrYUV[ s in a bung led heist. The plot
may be formulaic , but the per formances
are far f rom predictable. Underrated and YWV [ ^ YY�Vd first t ime a round , it's t ime for
lace's s e c o n d chance . Q ����
2 e 2
Tiymp
Nymph @ Mass St. Mat thew 's Church , SW2. M o n t h l y (sec-
o n d Saturday), £10/£12/£14,10pm-6am,
capaci ty = 1,000. Dress c o d e - n o n e ,
but m a k e a n effort .
Ano the r m o n t h a n d a n o t h e r s t u n n i n g
night at N y m p h . I won ' t g o o n a b o u t this
a g a i n ' cos w e d i d a � � � � �w o f it in
D e c e m b e r , but I h ad to put it in 'cos I
really wan t to u rge y o u all t o g o a l o n g
(again a n d again! ) . It m i g h t not ��� e
b e e n as p a c k e d out as o n our last j aunt
to N y m p h , but this d idn ' t really mat ter -
it w a s still a t o p n igh t out . A n d that 's a
s ign o f h o w g o o d the n igh t is - it still
impresses � � � n w h e n it isn't r a m m e d .
Personal ly it w a s ���y ch i l l ed to g o lo a
night w h e r e y o u c o u l d actua l ly �� � e
a r o u n d w i t h o u t a n y hass l es a n d w h e r e
y o u got the c h a n c e a n d s p a c e to strut
your stuff o n the s tage w i t h o u t the risk
o f ge t t ing p u s h e d o f f by s o m e fat ass!
A n d that is prec ise ly w h e r e I d e c i d e d to
s p e n d m o s t o f t h e n igh t - o n t h e s t age
in the back r o o m . This w a s t h e p l a ce to
be . The t u n e s w e r e cons i s ten t l y g o o d .
Top bang in ' , bou n cy , nu-energy l aden
beats, w i th lots o f tracks f r o m the Seb
Fonta ine/Tony d e ��t " E l ements " a l b u m ,
and ���n s o m e o ld ������� ��s like DJ Mis-
jah's "Access." It's great w h e n the sort o f
mus i c you ' re into at the m o c o m e s up
aga in and aga in at a c lub - there ' s n o t h -
ing better t han d a n c i n g to s o n g s y o u
k n o w , n o w is there? Shit, t he r e w e r e ��� n s o m e a m u s i n g �����s a r o u n d w i th
f luorescent tops, g l o w i n g sticks, a n d bike
l ights in the pocke t s o f their c o m b a t
t rouse rs (!) W h y the fuck they w e r e try-
ing to i m p e r s o n a t e KIT f r om KnightR ider
is a n y b o d y ' s guess , but at least they
b rough t a smi l e to the faces of the m o r e
cyn ica l pun te r s in the c lub . Thankfu l l y
the re w e r e on l y two o f t h o s e c h e e s e -
m o n g e r s a r o u n d - the rest of the p e o p l e
in N y m p h dress pretty wel l and aren't fro-
mage-led in any way. In fact they are o n e
o f t h e n ices t c r o w d s a r o u n d .
T h e m a i n r o o m w a s a bit m o r e
p a c k e d out , but ¡�e got to say that this
t ime the m u s i c w a s a bit u n i n s p i r i n g
desp i t e o f (or pe rhaps b e c a u s e of, I sup-
p o s e ) t h e p r e s e n c e o f s o m e b i g g i s h
n a m e s in DJ Pierre a n d Marsha l l Jeffer-
s o n . O n e f r i end d e s c r i b e d it as "l ight
j a zz " by the e n d of the night, but his
brain had b e e n twisted by the hard beats
o f the back r o o m , a m o n g s t o ther th ings.
Still the c r o w d s e e m e d to en joy the ma in
a rena , so it must ��� e b e e n passab le .
Next m o n t h (Saturday 13th Ma r ch )
s e e s s o m e really b ig n a m e s d e s c e n d i n g
o n the N y m p h c a m p in the f o rm s o f
Justin Robe r t son (big C lub UK DJ a n d
f i o n Rock guy), a n d l a r l ey Jackmaster
Funk. Af ter a t iny lull in Feb I r e ckon that
th is o n e wi l l b e abso lu t e l y ¢��� �£¤ .
C o n f e s s Your S ins
Rooba rb
Space @ The Cross G o o d s Yard, o f f King's Way, King's Cross
( opp . Bag ley ' s W a r e h o u s e ) . Cu r r en t l y
m o n t h l y party o n Fridays. 1 0 p m - 6 a m ,
capacity - 360. Dress c o d e - to bo ld ly g o
w h e r e n o m a n has g o n e be fo re .
Space is the unoff ic ia l m e m b e r ' s party at
the Cross, but y o u can a lso w a n g l e your
w a y in if y o u are press (tee-hec!) a n d if
y o u a rc a really k e e n punte r . It's a co l -
l a b o r a t i o n b e t w e e n ¥�� � � � l n i g h t s -
En igma , Bamb i & Bo, and Gl itterat i , the
last t w o of w h i c h ��� e s t aged s o m e o f
the mos t l egenda ry n ights at Ihc Cross
(and that really is s ay ing s o m e t h i n g ) . Try
to get to these w h e n they run 'cos they
are just s o o o o funky, but a lso try to f ind
your w a y into Space , if ¦�� ¡ �e got a bit
o f c l u b b i n g t im e spare .
But, as y o u m igh t i m a g i n e w i th any
trip into Space, this requires lots o f p repa-
rat ion. A "space" dress c o d e really d o e s
m e a n y o u ��� e to m a k e the effort a n d
get s o m e futuristic togs a n d accessor ies .
O t h e r w i s e y o u p r o b a b l y w o n ' t get in
a n d if y o u d o m a n a g e to s o m e h o w ,
t h e n y o u really wi l l f ee l out o f p l ace .
That's 'cos ����¦�£e else wil l def initely be
l o o k i n g like Doc to r Spock 's fami ly a n d
their best mates the Jetsons. A n d as w i th ��� � ¦ �¢ � £g in life (c l iche alert) y o u wi l l
app rec i a t e the effort put in o n c e the
party starts.
The a t m o s p h e r e ins ide is as f r iendly
as you ' l l f ind a n d n e w f r i endsh ips are
f o r g e d m e re l y o n the basis o f wha t silly
toys ¦�� ¡ � e b r o u g h t a l o n g w i th y o u . M y
ta lk ing C 3 P O p e n certa in ly c a m e in use-
ful a l t h o u g h ge t t i ng it to say §¨�t the
W o o k i e W in " in t im e w i th the mus i c was
a bit tricky!
The m u s i c is d e s c r i b e d by the DJs
a n d p r o m o t e r s as " P u m p i n g Pneumat i c
Party" t unes a n d that is exactly wha t you
get, so I won ' t bo the r de s c r i b i n g it any
further. A n d as a lways The Cross itself
w a s great - still o n e o f the mos t beau t i -
ful � � £� � s in t h e capi ta l .
A l t h o u g h Space has on ly run for t w o
n ights so far it is u n d o u b t e d l y g o i n g to
m a k e a ���y b i g i m p r e s s i o n o n the ¨�£-
d o n c l u b s c e n e - it's a l ready b e e n �� � �d
(on the internet) as The Cross ' best party
( g o o d t h e n or what? ) . It m igh t easi ly
b e c o m e o n e o f t h e n ights to be at, just
l ike Se r ious@The Cross in 1998.
This n ight is just abou t as m u c h fun
as y o u can ��� e c l u b b i n g . Try your ha rd-
est to get t ickets - you ' l l ©��e it. "A g o o d
t im e y o u wi l l ¢��� " as g o o d o ld Y o d a
w o u l d say.
M a y t h e f o r c e b e w i t h y o u
Rooba rb
2 e 3
Albums Singles m
d
y
n
With a c o u p l e o f recent hits b e h i n d
h im , ª«¬ n Fisher is b i g n e w s o n t h e
dance s c e n e at the m o m e n t . So, f o l -
l ow ing o n f r o m the success o f hits s u c h
as 'The Freaks C o m e Out ' , F isher has
brought out a mix a l b u m . It features thir-
teen racks o f d e e p u n d e r g r o u n d h o u s e
mus i c i n c l u d i n g S tud io ®¯°s 'Freak It',
House o f 909's 'Beaut i fu l Day' a n d ª«¬ n
Fisher's 'The Freaks C o m e Out ' . Superb ly
m ixed , e a c h track f o l l ows the ±²« ¬ ³´ s
one really we l l instead of t h e m b e i n g just
chucked together in any o ld order. ª«¬n
Fisher has ³µ¬ ³´¶ · y t aken his t i m e ³¬« r
this a l b u m , se l ec t ing on ly the best m u s i c
and m a k i n g su re it all fits t oge the r . He' l l
be on e to wa tch out for this year, and the
a l b u m (out s o o n ) wi l l a l so b e o n e to
watch out for. A n a b s o l u t e must .
• •••*
S o u n d o f t h e N u Skoo l - ¸³ · .(Fresh Records )
This is a compi l a t i on a l b u m fea tur ing
the best o f the label 's past a n d future N u
Skoo l s o u n d s . Tracks i n c l u d e The
Freestylers 'B-Boy Stance ' , The Sol B ro th-
ers' c h e e k y 'That ¹ º» ¼s Track' , ½³¬«¶¾¿-
t ion ' s ¿ · ¾ « ² À¿ ¾ ¬e d e e p - f u n k y m ix o f
'Sensuality' a n d E l ec t ro theque ' s Á ÂÃÄ ÅÆ-
one's a Winner ' . They are all m ixed to per-
fec t ion , a n d if y o u l ike the b i g beat ,
funky s o u n d s that Fatboy S l im has m a d e
so popu la r , you ' l l ·³¬e this .
• • • • •
Roy Ç¿¬s J R
DJ M i x A l b u m È É ÊËÌÍ ÎÏe Records )
A t rue C h i c a g o h o u s e l e g e n d , DJ
a n d p roduce r , Roy Ç¿¬s Jr c o m m a n d s
the k ind o f respect usual ly ²«¶«²¬«d for
royalty. O n e l isten to this classy a l b u m
wil l s e n d y o u to h o u s e Ы¿¬«À , s h o w i n g
y o u just w h y h e is o n e of the b iggest
n a m e s o n the h o u s e s c e n e . This mix
a l b u m is a co l l ec t ion o f u n d e r g r o u n d ,
d e e p h o u s e Ñ ²³ ³ ¬« ¶ , i n c l u d i n g t h e
a n t h e m 'Gabr ie l ' . The k ind o f mus i c y o u
w o u l d f ind in a pre-club bar or in the chill
out r o o m of a c lub , this a l b u m is a jour-
ney t h r o u g h the history o f h o u s e mus ic .
If y o u like the j azzy , f unky h o u s e ¬ µ« ,
b u y this. Fabu lous .
O u t In M a r c h .
• • • •
M i s s M o n e y p e n n y ' s M u s i c presents No r-
m a n Jay
T h e r e a re so m a n y c o m p i l a t i o n
a l b u m s b e i n g re l eased by c lubs t hese
days, that m a n y p e o p l e don ' t Ѭe a toss
a n y m o r e . If y o u w a n t to d o we l l in this
marke t t h e n y o u ÒÓÔ e to re lease s o m e -
t h i n g a bit d i f ferent . So is this a l b u m ,
r e l e a sed by the g l a m s u p e r c l u b M i s s
M o n e y p e n n y ' s , that little bit d i f ferent?
We l l , N o . Alr ight , it's m i x e d by N o r m a n
Jay, but there is n o t h i n g on this a l b u m
w h i c h m a k e s it s tand out The tracks are
just t h e b o g s t a n d a r d s tu f f M o n -
eypenny ' s play. It c o m e s in two CDs - CD
1 features h o u s e a n d ga rage mus i c (cur-
rent as we l l as past tunes ) w i th C D 2 fea-
t u r i n g t h e " G o o d Õ ² ³ ³ ¬ « s M i x " - a
co l l e c t i on o f s o u n d s f r om all ³¬« r the
mus i c wo r l d . O u t o f the two, the s e c o n d
C D is a little better, but as an ³¬«²¿· l pack-
a g e it's n o t h i n g to shou t about .
• • •
S ing le o f t h e W e e k
i Tenor
'Year o f t h e A p o c a l y p s e '
A c o u p l e o f w e e k s a g o w e ² «¬ «Ö«d
J imi Tenor 's rather supe rb a l b u m O r g a n -
ism' . In M a r c h , h e re leases the b rea th-
tak ing 'Year of the Apoca l ypse ' , a»× Ø
y
upl i ft ing and me lod i c track. This is a track
w h i c h s o u n d s like a bit of a garage tune ,
but at the s ame t ime has chi l led, m e l o d i c
sounds . The beat is s imp le and the t une
is catchy a n d the s inger must b e pra ised
for m a n a g i n g to s i n g 'Year o f the A p o c -
alypse ' in the cho rus . The 12" c o m e s
w i th a coup l e of mixes , each d i f ferent to
the other ( one b e i n g a bit m o r e ¬³Ù¿· Ú , a n d a s e c o n d , separa te track. D o i n g
we l l in the Coo l cu t s Chart , this m a k e s
great l i s ten ing.
O u t M a r c h
• • • • •
The Four Usua l Suspec ts
'
In a w o r d , this s i ng l e is bo l l o cks .
Surely there is a regu la tory b o d y to s top
crap like this b e i n g p r o d u c e d . The f o u r
Usual Suspects, inc lud ing Roger S a n c h e z
a n d A n g i e J o h n s o n , ÒÓÔ e r e p r o d u c e d
1999 as a d a n c e ¬« ²¶ ³n o f Pr ince 's clas-
sic tune , a n d c o m p l e t e l y m u r d e r e d it.
A n g i e J o h n s o n exce ls in s i n g i n g c o m -
pletely out o f sync w i th the t une , whi ls t
the rest of the four Ѭe the s ingle "a n e w
h o u s e ¬ µ«Û . What the hel l is g o i n g o n
here? It's not m e a n t to b e a Ü Û Ý Ý Ý g
d a n c e t u n e . C o m e s w i t h l o a d s o f
remixes , e a c h as b a d as the o thers a n d
comp le t e l y i nd i s t i ngu i shab le . This is a
supe rb e x a m p l e of s o m e o n e t ak ing a
great classic, a n d t u r n i n g it into a f e e b l e
d a n c e track for c o m m e r c i a l ga in . Þßà á â .
e
e
This is the k i n d a t u n c you ' l l e i ther
really · ³¬e or really hate . Fo l l ow ing o n
f rom their na t iona l chart success w i th
' Sundance ' (the e p o n y m o u s l y t it led s in-
gle), S u n d a n c e ÒÓÔ e re l eased their n e w
s ing le 'The ½¬ Àg D r e a m ' . Full o f cheesy
beats , ¬³Ù¿ ·¶ , p i anos a n d b r e a k d o w n s ,
this is typical Euro h o u s e mus i c , but it's
so b l o o d y catchy y o u can't he lp h u m -
m i n g a l o n g . It c o m e s w i th half a d o z e n
mixes ³¬« r a c o u p l e o f CD 's . S o m e o f
the m ixes s o u n d the s a m e (odd that!)
whi ls t the Transa remix is a c o m p l e t e l y
d i f fe rent t u n e in itself.
t
• • • •
G u r m
D o n n a D e e
' H o o k e d '
( M e c c a Record ings )
This is a s t r ange r eco rd . The A-sides
are g o o d funky g a r a g e w i th p lenty of
chunky beats. No t t o o m e m o r a b l e really,
but still w o r t h a l isten if y o u are a garage
f i en d . ã³Ö«¬« ² , it's t h e B-side remix o f
" H o o k e d " w h i c h really d o e s it for me . It's
up-beat h o u s e , a n d w o u l d n ' t be out o f
p lace in o n e o f J udge Jules' sets. N i ce
break-downs a n d bui ld-ups a d d e d to an À Ü«Ù¾ ¬e tune m a k e this o n e to l ook out
for.
• • • •
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m e a n , h o w c h e a p c a n y o u get?
What a m I s u p p o s e d to do? N o case
a n d n o B C DDE e equa l n o i n f o rm a t i o n
in my b o o k . Alr ight , they FGHe g e n e r -
ous ly pr in ted the n a m e o f the a l b u m o n
the C D a l o n g w i th the tracks but c ' m o n ,
t h r o w m e a f reak in ' b o n e he re !
S ebadoh IJEDKL t really dec ided what
style o f m u s i c they fit into. Is it a l te rna-M NOP? AOR? G r u n g e (is that d e a d yet)?
We l l , u rn , it 's al l o f t h e J Q R E D . A n d S TU V W Xe got lots to pract ice o n wha t w i th
a w h o l e f i f teen tracks o n the a l b u m . I
o f t en f ind that this is a d o u b l e - e d g e d
s w o r d t h o u g h . You FG He the conf l i c t o f
quant i ty a n d qual i ty (do y o u r e m e m b e r
Engl ish essays, 'But miss, h o w m u c h d o
w e FG He to write?' ) , but S e b a d o h FGH
e
m a n a g e d bo th aspec ts rather we l l .
Call m e j a d e d but IJEDK L t w e hea rd
th is all b e f o r e ? I c a n hea r a n ear ly
n ine t i es s o u n d in this a l b u m : the d is-
cordant guitars, that hi-hat/ snare d r u m -
m i n g a n d the s o n g s w i th l o u d , punchy ,
h igh-energy cho ruses a n d m o o d y , intro-BYDZ [ \ E e ED]BDB . You can hear so m a n y
o ther bands in this mus i c . O n ^_ a Is
Stronger y o u FGHe an early R.E.M. Nick
Of Time Is r em in i s cen t o f a m o r e m u s i -
cally g i f t ed Jesus b cdefg . A n d free w o u l d
s o u n d like Blur 's n e w s ing le Tender, if
Blur h ad b o t h e r e d to wr i te their o w n
stuff a n d not rip it o f f t h e l ikes o f U2 a n d
Bush .
Bird In The Hand is a n ou t s t an d i n g
track s imp ly b e c a u s e they FG He the balls
t o blatant ly take o f f h \ ]EJK a a n d the Pix-
ies in o n e fel l s w o o p . Fantastic. So ijklalso strikes a c h o r d w i th m e pure ly d u e
to the fact that it s h o w s t h e s e guys can
rock out , m a n . I ndeed .
I g u e s s I'm a bit s t u n n e d . I g e n -
u ine l y e n j o y e d l i s t en ing to this. Sure, m n o pe heard most o f it be fore and it's not
n e w , but I l ike it. Hey, y o u can' play air-
guitar to it for G o d ' s sake . So is this wha t h\ ]E J K a w o u l d FG He DE R C E D d into if Kurt
hadn ' t d i ed (myster ious c i rcumstances or
otherwise ) ? W o u l d w e FGHe s e e n Nir-E J K a a l o n g w i th S e b a d o h o n the next
f r i e n d s s o u n d t r a c k ? A d u l t O r i e n t a t e d
Rock anybody ? El
Christian
FREDDY FRESH t
s
g
Whi le Fatboy S l im m a y b e B ig
Beat 's N u m e r o U n o , Freddy
Fresh retains the title for mos t
p ro l i f i c m i x m a s t e r . This n e w a l b u m
w e i g h s in at a YRB\[ \EDCy ano rex i c 22
tunes (his earl ier Essential Mix total led 2
hours a n d 10q tracks!).
Mr . Fresh fo l l ows t h e Big Beat for-
m u l a ( w h i c h he admi t t ed l y h a d a h a n d
in \ KEDK[ \Kr ) to the letter - t h r o w i n g in
scratchy l o o p e d ERZJCB , f unky h o o k l ines
and h u m u n g o u s beats. Yes it's def in i te ly
speake r m e l t i n g t ime !
In order to a d d a bit o f EJ]\D[y Freddy
sens ib ly let his pals con t r ibu te a c o u p l e
o f tracks. Ironically, t hese t u rned out to
b e the best o n the a l b u m . Cont r ibu tors
i nc lude The FreeStylers and natural ly M r .
Sl im h imse l f . Freddy s e e m s to p r o d u c e
his funkiest c o m p o s i t i o n s w h e n w o r k i n g
w i th other p e o p l e s mater ia l as a base or
s o m e o n e e lse to b o u n c e Ideas off .
It is clear that this m a n k n o w s h o w
to w i e l d a sample r , h e s t s n appea r s to FG He u v w u s d r o p p e d o n a c o u p l e o f
p h o n e ZRKED ]B J[ \RKB . If it m a k e s s o u n d ,
Freddy wi l l n ick it a n d l o o p it. A n o t h e r
highl ight is what s eems to be his r a n d o m
t u n i n g o f a Sou th A m e r i c a n rad io - mix-
ing static a n d r a n d o m JxED][B .
T a l k i ng o f S o u t h A m e r i c a , F reddy
pays his respec ts to his Puer to Rican
roots w i th s o m e Bossa h R E a beats and
s a m b a rythms. H e certa in ly k n o w s h o w
to get a c o n g a g o i n g ! Admi t t ed l y , my
Puerto Rican isn't up to m u c h but mos t
o f the s a m p l e s appea r to ]DERCEe a r o u n d
t h e fact that h e is Puer to R ican. This is
p r o c l a i m e d by EJ ] \Ry s ER \ ZDB , i n c l ud ing
the deepes t s o u n d i n g ER\Z e I FGHe heard
this s ide of Issac Hayes. This bassy s o u n d -
i n g d u d e is f e a tu red aga i n in ano the r o f
the top tracks o f the a l b u m -Its About The z{jj|}~ N i c e s h .
Ail in all this a l b u m sticks to the rules
a n d p r o d u c e s a funky , latin s o u n d i n g
twist o n t h e b i g beat s o u n d . If you are a
Fresh aco ly te this wi l l b e right up your
street as its m o r e o f the s a m e . H o w -DED] , if y o u are n e w to b i g beat I w o u l d
r e c o m m e n d d i p p i n g your t oe in the poo l
w i th a Fatboy S l im a l b u m ins tead .
Fresh a n d funky but there is better
out there , d Joel
2 c
Albums
S n
*•
,
r
Umaje ts a re Je l ly f ish f o u n d e r
m e m b e r T im Smi th and Sheryl
C r o w ' s bassist Billy R a n d o m ,
w h o s e d e e p � ��e o f lush , in fec t ious
t u n e s has s e e n t h e m co l l abora te in a
u n i q u e e x p e r i m e n t o f b l andness . Skip
merr i ly t h r o u g h f ie lds o f j oy as they � � � � � � � � r to out c h e e s e Ben Folds ����. ' O n e o f this years m e l o d i c master-
p i e c e s ' . That ' s t h e reco rd c o m p a n y
b lurb . Possibly . It's sixty w o r d s l o n g a n d
I n e e d to wr i te a 200 to 300 h u n d r e d
w o r d ��� ���. I a m s t rugg l ing ; en thus i -
a s m is not the w o r d but I'll ���e it a g o .
T w o i n f l uences are blatantly appar-
ent o n first l isten - and I can ' t b e g i n to
tell y o u h o w pa in fu l that was? - S i m o n
a n d Ga r funke l a n d The Beat les. The lat-
ter is a c cep t ab l e , the f o r m e r isn't. The P
- me is te r a n d Arty, as I call t h e m d o w n
t h e M e t Bar, are for all t hose fat-arsed,
I o rd G r a n a d a �� �� ��� , go l f p lay ing, bus i-
n e s s m e n that buy their CDs at mo to rway ������e stat ions. Those p e o p l e w h o think
possess ion o f an��������e range of Dire
Straits r e c o r d s is w o r t h y o f b r a g g i n g
a b o u t d o w n t h e local Yates W in e ���� �.
The Beat les on the other h a n d are about
as g o o d as it get , but still Uma je ts c o n -
����e to a b u s e such a n i m p e c c a b l e in f lu-
ence . Ihe wit, cyn ic ism and �������l e m o -
t ion of I e n n o n is d i s ca rded in ����� r o f
the twee m e l o d i e s to w h i c h M c C a r t n e y
was suscept ib le ���� s l ike the t ides are
b e g i n n i n g to rise / The ear th a n d the
stars all talk a n d co l l ide ' they s i n g ���r
h a c k n e y e d a r r a n g e m e n t s N i c e ! ' I h e
C r o y d o n girl really h o p e s to f ind a h o m e
/ But w i th a 1000 mi les o f real estate to
c h o o s e f r om � �u b e g i n to see the �� �� e
of your f r e e d o m ' they � � � �e w i t h o u l a
hint of heartfelt e m o t i o n . Great ! � � � �g
Way I l o m e ' sees t h e m s igh 'B lah. B lah.
B lah ' . Probably.
Yet still I subject myse l f to a s e c o n d
l isten M y G o d the � � � � �s Can y o u
not hear them? . . . .Up the re in t h e r e ¡¢ s T ee l the I o rcc Chris, c o m e ���
r
to the M O R Side'. . . And in a b laze of fire
I a m reborn I lo ld m e back, ���e m e m�car ����
i I l o n g lor a���� ��
e stat ion lore-
court; I n e e d to s a m p l e the illicit t rade of
Phil Co l l ins ' back c a l o l o g u e . I must c o m -
plete my C a b b a g e G a i d e n r e ro rd col
l e c t i o n . B r i ng b a c k M e l o d y F M all is �� �� ���n
Chris
S S t c
e Protection-,
d
This d o u b l e C D c o m p i l a t i o n w a s
p r o d u c e d by Earth £¤¥ e Fund
Records as a char i ty a l b u m to
raise f unds for h e l p i n g the � �� � �¦s o f
t h e § ¨ © ¨ ªe h u r r i c a n e s that s t r u ck
Centra l A m e r i c a a b o u t t w o m o n t h s a g o . «�F Records a rc c o n c e r n e d a b o u t��� �
-
r o n m e n t a l i s sues w i t h pa r t i cu la r
e m p h a s i s o n the d i s a p p e a r i n g ra in-
forests a r o u n d the g l o b e .
In total there are n i n e t e e n tracks sp read ���r t h e t w o C D s a n d c o n t r i b u t i o n s
c o m e f r o m the l ikes o f ¬ � � � � � e Attack,
Fatboy S l im, U n d e r w o r l d a n d Banco De
Ga ia . Kicking off w i th the first CD, you are
p r e s e n t e d w i th a ������y o f s o u n d s rang-
ing f r o m a m b i e n t t rance w i th Banco De
Ga ia ' s 'D runk As A M o n k ' to b i g beat
m a d n e s s in BRA ' S 'Why Is A Frog l o o ' . It
w o u l d be easy but t e d i o u s to list all the
artists o n here a n d that w o u l d p robab l y
b e e n o u g h to� � � � � � �
e y o u to buy the
a l b u m . Instead I'll just m e n t i o n s o m e of
the best a n d wors t tracks ¬ � � � � � e At tack 's ' P ro tec t ion ' is an apt
start to the a l b u m � �� � � � �g a n d a tmos-
phe r i c a n d m o o d y fee l that ������s
t h r o u g h o u t the ent i re record . Trancey
s o u n d s are popu la r , the mus i c cho i c e of
' eco warriors ' , w i th artists such as Astrala-
sia a n d Electric Skychurch . There are a
c o u p l e o f w e a k tracks i n c l u d i n g 'The
B u g ' by Face O n M a r s a n d U2 's ' M o f o ' ,
but d e s p i t e s o m e r a n d o m f i l lers t h e
a l b u m ho lds it o w n ������ � . C o n s i d e r i n g
the fact that this is a d o u b l e CD a n d also
that your m o n e y is g o i n g towards a g o o d
cause , this a l b u m is def in i te ly we l l wo r th
c h e c k i n g out .
Jason
For reasons not wor th g o i n g into,
med iocr i t y a n d��� � �� � � ��
s are
not th ings I particularly l ike at the
m o m e n t . Ihus the mus i c o n this c o m -
pi la t ion, Music U/7/7 No Name, w h i c h is
m o r e ® ¯° ±®² e than a red Astra, is not
apprec i a t ed .
Ihe style o f the a l b u m is sort o f
w o r l d mus ic , o f t en w i th lyrics in unrec-
o g n i z a b l e fo re ign l anguages , a n d beats
that lead it d o w n an easy l i s ten ing d r u m
and bass pa th . This f o r m u l a s o u n d s like
a recipe for disaster, but it's by no m e a n s
that in terest ing. N o tracks s tand out as
particularly g o o d , a n d none: as part icu-
larly bad As I said be fo re it's�������
,
and as it's a d a n c e mus i c c o m p i l a t i o n ,
of w h i c h there: are a l ready far too many ,
there ' s really n o point to it
Ihe th ing I c o u l d get poss ib ly
e m o t i o n a l abou t o n this a l b u m is the
title. Music with No Njmc a ph rase
that s o u n d s like a title the c o m p i l e r s
d e c i d e d u p o n u h e n they cou ldn ' t th ink
of any th ing better. The a f o r e m e n t i o n e d
Red Astra w o u l d ³´ µ e b e e n a great
c h o i c e , or ¶ · ¶ n C a r l i n g B lack l a b e l
Aston .Martin or Stella w o u l d ha\e
b e e n totally inapt. ������ �c Me l t , � �u must Ir
¸ harder .
I James
Singles
e Pay
Fiere is a n archetypa l i nd ie b a n d p lay ing
g lamtast ic f u n k e d ou t rock that is o n the ¹º »¼e of s o u n d i n g l ike a cross b e t w e e n
Superg rass a n d D o d g y , O n record they
p r o d u c e a n e n e r g y rush o f s o u n d hint-
ing at � ��e p e r f o r m a n c e s o f s o m e : q u a l -
Ity but t h e c a t ch l n e s s t o m a k e this Into
a n i nd i e hit is s l ight ly l ack ing .
There 's n o d e n y i n g It, Robert M l ies' Chil-
drcn w a s a n d still is a classic the irt d a n c e
a n t h e m that doesn ' t ¶·¶ n soun< i cheesy.
nit's �� �� �� n has a m o r e a m b i e r t/ t rance
fee l t o it w i th a ha rde r t e m p o i n d bea t
i n t r o d u c e d a s w e l l . Children w< is-a mas-� � � e h i t t h e first t i m e rounc 1 b u t to �� ½ � �� e this twice wi l l b e m u c h tougher .
This is th rash� d i s to r ted Indie c o m p i e t e
w i th a g r e a t ' m e l o d y that Hits the track ¾ ¿À Áe the p l e t h o r a o f m e d i o : re i nd i e
b a n d s ou t there . If y o u like the s o u n d o l
Idlewl id a n d y o u en joy a mo< Âh at the
front o f a g i g rather than rais i n g your
l ighter in the air, t h e n � �� e Di irk Star a
look in .
e
So the n e w s ign ings to Creatlor i a n d the
so-cal ied n e w ' w o n d c r k i d s ' o f the ind ie
s c e n e ³´ µ e r e l e a s e d a ne¸
<t s i ng l e .
A p p a r e n t l y t he r e is a n '80s rc ����l just
a r o u n d the c o r n e r ( B l o n d l e ' s a à n u m b e r
o n e , isn't that p roo f e n o u g h ? ) a n d this
track w o u l d fit in ex t r eme l y w all. it c a n
o n l y b e d e s c r i b e d a s b o r i n g ar i d b l an d .
'To lerance a c c e p t a n c e In a s jpe r har-
m o n y ' is a b o u t the on l y l ine th o u g h o u t
the ent i re r e co rd a n d If y o u dc m't en joy
l i s ten ing to m i n d n u m b i n g l y � � � � � � � e
trash that Instantly c rea tes a F e a d a c h e
(hen steer c lear o f this a b o m i nat ion.
r
W h e n 1 first h e a r d this o n t h e radio , 1
i r Spiritu-
a l l s e d t a k i n g a c h a n g e o f < i l r e c t i o n .
A l t h o u g h the c o m p a r i s o n s are there this
n d m u s h
oally. The g o s p e l cho i r ��� ��e Ä��¦�Å ��
-
tic s o u n d a n d � ���s Blur a m o e ma tu re
s o u n d , a h u g e c h a n g e f r o m tr e f o r the
k Pi
i n sorne-
th ing? i f no t It Is a r id i cu lous n a m e for a
s o n g . It's g o o d to s e e that Sk i ink Anan-
sie ³´ µ e not lost t h e r a w n e s s o f their
ats , a n d
a l t h o u g h this t rack has a strln j b a c k i n g
sec t i on , the an g e r a n d thrash mess still
c o m e t h r o u g h , Jason
6
Tha Bomb!
c 2
IT'S A D K LIFE - Tha Bomb back a k off - TIC,
Tomm Bo and ! IT AWT ALL BAD!! It's a ha rd k n o c k l ife at th i s p l a c e a n d af ter a n i c e
rest f r o m t h e r i g o u r s o f th i s c o l u m n t h a b o m b has
r e t u r n e d to Æ Ç È É Ê Ë e t h e m i s s i n g Ì Í Î ÉÎ , a n d
w e g o t l o a d s for ya . First u p t h e r e ' s
t h e r e tu rn o f t h e b e a u t i f u l t r io ÏÐÑ, w i t h the i r t h i rd a l b u m Fan-
mail, w h i c h is Ç Ò É Ê Ò Ó Ò d b y
C l u b s c e n c e ' s G u r m . T h e n
c o m e s t h e Tommy Boy
Greatest Beats a l b u m , w h i c h
is a l o o k b a c k at s o m e h i p
h o p c l ass i cs o f o u r t i m e , a s
we l l as that I g o t t h e p h a t Wh i t -
n e y s i n g l e .
At last t h e W h i t n e y H o u s t o n
t u n e is g e t t i n g a r e l e a s e , it's n o t r ight it
h a d to b e s o l o n g bu t its O K . T h e Ô Î Õ Õ Ê É e c l u b hit
Its Not Right But Its OK is t a k e n f r o m h e r w i c k e d
a l b u m My Ö×ØÙ Is Your ÚÛÜÝÞ It ge t s a t w o C D re l ease ,
t h e first d i sc has t h r e e m i x e s o n it, t h e s t o m p i n g o r i g -
ina l a n d t h e n t w o ÉÒ Ç y sh i t ty h o u s e & g a r a g e m i x e s
that just f u c k it u p for m e , but t h e n I h a t e h o u s e . T h e
s e c o n d d i s c h a s t h e s a m e C l u b 69 m i x a n d t h e n
t w o o l d W h i t n e y t u n e s , t h e A n n i eÐ Ò ß ß È x
p e n n e d Step By Step a n d t h e e xce l l e n t
I'm à áâãä Woman. W h y o n ea r th d i d
t h e y pu t t h e C l u b 69 m i x a n d no t
t h e o r i g i n a l m i x o n t h e s e c o n d
C D , t h e s e c o n d d isc is be t te r w i t h
t h e t w o o l d t u n e s , bu t t h e C l u b
69 m i x is shi t a n d s o y o u åæ ç e t o
b u y t h e first d i s c i n s t e a d . It's all
a b o u t t h e m o n e y .
T h a B o m b ' s g o n n a b e b i g in the
w e e k s u p c o m i n g , w i t h s p e c i a l f e a t u r e s
c o m i n ' r ight at y a ! I'm o n t h a c a s e w i t h b i g Ê ß èÒÇ É Ê ÒÓ s f r o m m y s o u l s ista éÒÉÒ Ç ÍÒ y Kn igh t a n d m y
c u r r e n t Ì Î É Èê Ç Ê è e c r e w D e s e r t Eag le D iscs . It's g o n n a
b e Ô Î Õ Õ Ê É Ò . ë ì í e U A l l .
Milen
S
Ad o u b l e a l b u m o f c l ass i c h i p h o p t u n e s .
T o m m y Boy åæ ç e s o m e o f the greatest h ip
h o p artists o f all t im e s i g n e d to t h e m a n d after
a f e w years o f re-releas ing s o m e o f t h e d e l e t e d c las-
sics they åæ ç e c o m e out w i th a c o m p i l a t i o n a l b u m o f
their greatest beats ! The first d isc o p e n s up w i th A f r ika
Bambaataa ' s Planet Rock f r o m w a y back in the day,
wi th a f u n k ËÇ ÊÉÒn bass l ine a n d the classic call &
r e s po n s e style rap, the
a l b u m o p e n s up o n a
h igh . The a l b u m Ô È É Ò s
a l o n g s m o o t h l y w i t h îïðñòóôõö÷ øù Gonna Be
Alright by N a u g h t y By
N a t u r e o n to
Doowutyalike f r o m
Digi t ia l U n d e r g r o u n d ,
be fo re s ta l l ing o n D e úa
Soul 's r i d i c u l o u s l y l o n g
Buddy (remix). T h e n t h e
killer t u n e pul ls up a n d
hits y a - Can't You See.
This R&B a n t h e m w a s t h e
first t h i n g w e hea rd f r o m
the bad girls, Total a n d it
s i m p l y b l e w m e a w a y
then , a n d still d o e s to this
day. To k e e p the ûÇ È È É e
g o i n g the or ig ina l ladies
s o n g üýþõðù First is d r o p p e d in next, Q u e e n
ÐÎèÊÌÎh
rocks the m i c ÈÉÒ r a sty led out s a x o p h o n e riff, b e f o r e
M o n i e ëìí e ( r e m e m b e r her ) k icks ou t a f e w rhymes .
Then c o m e s the ÔÎÕÕ Ê Ée ÿ ÇÈÕÕÈÉÒ r hit f r o m H o u s e o f
Pain, y o u k n o w wha t it is, right?...Yeah...that's right
Jump Around. F rom that H o u s e o f pa in party t u n e w e Ô È É e across to the laid back s o u n d s o f D e úa Soul
w i th Plug Tunln'and the j a z z y A f r i ka B a m b a a t a a t une
Jazzy Sensation b e f o r e h i t t i ng t h e f u n k y h u m p y
Eiumpty Dance f r o m Digit ia l U n d e r g r o u n d . A n d to
c lose out the first d i sc t hey b r i n g back t h o s e ÔÎÕ Õ ÊÉ e
Y
GREATEST
BEATS
party t unes w i th the classic O.P.P. a n d A p a c h e s
Gangsta Bitch.
Sw i t ch ing ÈÉÒ r the s e c o n d disc I w a s hit w i th the
all t ime great De úa Soul tune Me, Myself and I, all those
o ld skoo l m e m o r i e s c o m e f l o o d i n g back, but they dis-
a p p e a r just as qu ick ly w i th the next t une the aw fu l
H o u s e O f Pain track Shamrocks And Shenanigans. W h y
is this shit track next to De úa Soul? A ser ious disap-
p o i n t m e n t af ter s u c h a
g o o d start. But they
r e d e e m è�Ò Ô Õ Ò Í ÉÒ s w i th
C o o l i o ' s g-funk Ë Ç Ê É Ò n
Fantastic ������� the on ly
d r a w b a c k is the T i m b e r
Remix w h e n the or ig ina l
mix is so m u c h be t te r .
Pairs' Grip of Shame is
i n c l uded here , but why?
There are super io r Paris
tunes to pick so w h y this
one? Next up is Q u e e n ÐÎèÊÌÎ�s ch i l l ed out � ��fahs Had it Up There, a
p r i m e e x a m p l e o f t h e
girls skills b e f o r e Ô È É Ê ß g
o n to a c o u p l e o f mas-ÕÊÉe chart hits. N a u g h t y
By N a t u r e s Hip Hop
Hooray a n d the spot hit-
ter Come Baby Come f r om K7. The final run d o w n c o n -
sists of a scr ies of o ld skoo l classics, the s tandout of the
b u n c h b e i n g D e úa Souls w i c k e d Ring, Ring, Ring,
before the f in ishing track, Cool io 's Dangerous M i n d s s in-
g le Gangsta's Paradise.
The w h o l e p a c k a g e is w o n d e r f u l ÉÎ Íê e for m o n e y ,
but I w o u l d åæç e pre fe r red just o n e disc full o f the
abso lu t e classics, w i t hou t the fillers.
Disc 1 - 8 / 1 0 Disc 2 = 7/10
Milen
C
Th o u g h a certa in press of f i cer f r o m a major UK
label wi l l d i sag ree ,Ï Ð Ñ
s o n e a n d on ly hit in
the UK w a s Waterfalls-a s w i n g i n ' bal lad m a n y
years a g o . N o w , the trio are back w i th a c o m p l e t e Ç Ò ÉÎÔÆ , not on ly o f their mus i ca l ta lents but of their
a t t i tudes too . S imply put, úC arc g o o d ; no, actual ly
they are bri l l iant - a fact re f lec ted in their c o m e b a c k
a l b u m Eanmail. Fanmail has t aken úC into a n e w
d i m e n s i o n as they i n c l u d e p r o d u c t i o n w o r k f r o m Jam
a n dÐÒÓÊs (Janet Jackson) , J e rma ine Dupr i (Mar iah
Carey) a n d n e w b o y Shekspe r e . The a l b u m features
17 tracks a n d ÿÈÉÒ Çs the full s p e c t r u m o f great R&B Ì ÍÎÉÎÕ . There a rc t u n e s w i th hard bass l ines a n d husky ÉÈÿÎ Í s such as Fanmail a n d Silly Ho, the Ò Ô È è Ê É e ba l-
lads such as No Scrubs, a s l o w a n d ûÇÈ ÈÉ y track. The
funky a n d ÉÈÿ Î l tracks s u c h as Shout, I'm No Good at
Being Bad m a k e great l i s ten ing , whi ls t / Miss You so
Much, Come Down a n d ��������� ate the ÍÈÉe s o n g s
o f the a l b u m w i th w o n d e r f u l ÉÈÿÎ Ís a n d s im p l e tunes .
In b e t w e e n s o m e o f the tracks are in te r ludes - 30-sec-
o p d cl ips o f the girls t a lk ing a b o u t Ó�Î èÒÉÒ Ç . This
a l b u m is b rea th t ak ing a n d the C D ÿÈÉÒ r features a
great h o l o g r a p h i c i m a g e o fÏÐÑ
. N o d o u b tÏÐ
C arc on
their w a y back, a n d w i th Eanmail, 1999 s h o u l d see
t h e m b e c o m e a h u g e fo rce to be r e c k o n e d w i th o n
t h e R&B s c e n e .
Gurm
t
fanmail by ��C
These three stunning ladies return
after a long absence with a phat
alburn
Enjoy Yourself by A�Hip-hop ���r ���������, the sixteen
year old A comes with the skillz
GorQy Porgy by Benet
One listen and you'll be hooked on
this wicked tunew;
Do You feel Me by M e n O f! "#"$n
This killer single has me asking ����%�&s the album?
Rush by Klehshay
British R&B, 1 '��e this and you should
too!
EVERY
TUESDAY
8PM ( ) * + , (WIN ESS % j
OR A
CRATE OF -./0R
FREE TO ENTER
iCV
S c r e w y o u 12y g o i n g t o .
. common
A R
i i
m
2
y best indie,
plus cocktail ive dance
m 345 678iCU r
2 8 ^T^v^ Games 2
sy
" C o m e weary 9:;<=>>= r - sit by the fire and
rest a n d I w i l l tel l y o u s to r i e s o f t h e
d r e a d e d g a m e s d r o u g h t o f 99 a n d h o w
our ?= >@<=d G a m e s Editor A;<=d his p e o -
ple wi th the g a m e ca l led Baldur 's Gate . "
B l imey, a n e w g a m e . S o m e t h i n g o f a
radical c h a n g e in po l icy for the g a m e s
page w e k n o w , but he re at Felix w e BCD e E=<= r b e e n afra id to take s u c h leaps o f
faith. Baldur's Ga te w a s re leased back in
January, a c c o m p a n i e d by a lack o f p u b -
licity that m a d e H o w a r d H u g h e s s e e m
like a m e d i a h o g .
Usual ly the a c r o n y m RPG is e n o u g h
to send a g o o d fifty percent o f PC gamers
scurry ing for F@<= r (well e spec i a l l y the
ones w h e r e RPG m e a n s Rocket P rope l led
Grenade , or is that just m y pa r ano i a kick-
ing in - G a m e s Ed). After all RPG is all
abou t p e o p l e s tay ing u p for t h r ee days
and nights so l id a n d ea t i n g pot n o o d l e s
with GH<e or six s imi lar-minded HEIH<HIJ;>A . W h e n they d o f inal ly e m e r g e in the light
they look pasty, b e m u s e d a n d t e n d to
stand in front o f d o o r s for a KL My l o n g
t ime b e c a u s e they NOPQ RS t f o u n d t h e
magica l A m u l e t o f G o r i d i d i u m or don ' t BCD e the necessa ryIT; : <=n rune . They
are the trainspotters o f the g a m i n g wo r l d ,
o b s e s s e d w i t h hit p o i n t s , c h a r a c t e r s
c lasses a n d n o t e b o o k s fu l l o f h i e r o -
g l yph i c s that c o u l d BCD e c o m e f r o m
Bletchley Park d u r i n g the war . They are
also par tak ing in o n e of the o ldest f o rm s
of m o d e r n g a m i n g , o n e that w a s es tab-
lished l ong be fore a n y o n e thought about
us ing the PC as a g a m e s m a c h i n e , a n d
as suchI=A=:<e far more UV | r e spec t t h a n they are
o f t e n s h o w n , i n c l u d i n g
by m c just n o w .
Ba ldur ' s Ga te has
b e e nI= <= > @ W= d in c o n -
j u n c t i o n w i th TSR, o w n -
ers o f t h e X I < ; E F = d
D r a g o n s & D u n g e o n s
m a r q u e e , a n d c la ims to
b e a fa i thfu l r ep rodu c -
t i o n o f t h o s e g a m i n g
rules. That 's s o m e t h i n g
I can't c o m m e n t on - YZ[e E=<= r p l ayed a D & D board g a m e - but if
that ' s t h e case , t h e n theI =< = > @ W= : s
(B ioware ) BCD e d o n e a KL My g o o d j o b o f
m a k i n g s o m e e x t r e m e l y c o m p l i c a t e d
ru les e m i n e n t l y i gno rab l e . Basically, if
y o u don ' t wan t to read t h r o u g h the rules
sec t i on at the back o f the m a n u a l , you
don ' t n e e d to - the g a m e wil l w o r k \]\ ^_-t h i n g out for y o u a n d won ' t get in the
w a y w h i l e d o i n g it.
Baldur 's Ga te o p e n s in a land that is
b e g i n n i n g to c o m e apart at the s e a m s -
t h e major cit ies in the reg ion are tu rn ing
aga in s t e a c h o the r , a n d t h e r e are
rumours of nasty th ings lurking in the sur-
r o u n d i n g count rys ide . You play a little
p i p s q u e a k o f a n o r p h a n , b e f r i e n d e d by
a w i z a r d (or m a g e to use the correct ter-
m i n o l o g y ) . O n e day, as y o u p lay
a m o n g s t the ch i ckens , h e calls for y o u
and takes you on a journey. En route you
are way la id by a c o u p l e of ogres , a w i tch ,
a n d a myster i-
ous character
e n c a s e d in
a rmour . After
a swi f t but
b l o o d y f igh t ,
you r m e n t o r
l ies b l e e d i n g
o n t h e
g r o u n d a n d
y o u are in `a ` by s e n s e
o f t h e w o r d ,
a l o n e .
F rom that
point o n you are m o r e or B
less left to you r o w n s p I=< H F = A . D u r i n g you r9:;<=>s you wil l pick up | | | | | <;: H@J s ques ts - in fact
m this is the b a c k b o n e o f
the g a m e , as y o u 9:;<= l a r o u n d d o i n g th ings for fPt||
p e o p l e a n d p i c k i n g up
r e w a r d s in e x c h a n g e . cde fy n o w a n d t h e n y o u
wi l l m e e t a cha rac te r
w h o wi l l c o m e w i th y o u
for a whi le , >=;< HEg either
b e c a u s e they are d e a d , or b e c a u s e y o u
are d e a d , or b e c a u s e they w a n t to g o
a n d d o s o m e t h i n g d i f fe rent f r o m w h a t
y o u w a n t to . There a rc all the usua l
races y o u expec t to f ind in this k ind o f
g a m e s , h u m a n s ,IT;:<=A , = ><=A , half-
ings , ores,T@ > < = A , og r e s , a n d so o n .
S o m e o f t hese wi l l try a n d h e l p y o u ,
s o m e o f t hese wi l l try a n d kill y o u , a n d
s o m e wi l l just s tand a r o u n d all day talk-
ing abou t the wea the r . There is a plot-
l ine ( s o m e t h i n g a b o u t the o r p h a n b e i n g
t h e o n l y t h i n g s t a n d i n g b e t w e e n the
forces o f ch ao s a n d order ) but y o u can
c o m p l e t e l y i gno re this a n d g o of f d o i n g
your o w n t h i n g if y o u l ike.
It's e m i n e n t l y p layable , a n d B ioware BCD e c h o s e n m o r e t rad i t iona l t o p d o w n
i sometr i c m a p s for the g raph i cs rather
than the currently fash ionable first person
a p p r o a c h . II wo rks KL My we l l , a l t h o u g h
persona l l y I w o u l d BCD e l iked the abil ity
t o sh r ink t h e
s c r een a bit;
it s e e m s a bit
da f t for t h e
characters to
b e a b l e t o
s e e fu r the r
than y o u can
-`a` b
y n o w
a n d a g a i n
y o u g o o f f t o
d o s o m e -
t h i n g a n d
c o m e back to
f i nd you r se l f
in the m i d d l e o f a battle w i th half o f your
g r o u p dead . The contro l m e t h o d is beau-
tifully s i m p l e , c o m p l e t e l yI: H<=n by the
m o u s e , a n d is ex t reme ly easy to pick
up . M y on l y o the r g r ipe is the s o u n d ,
a n d in par t i cu la r t h e s a m p l e d <@ H F = A . Ihey BCD e got a lorry-load o f third-rate
A m e r i c a n ac to rs in a n d to ld t h e m to
a t tempt reg iona l British accents . D o y o u
r e m e m b e r Sean Connery ' s Brooklyn Irish
a c cen t in the U n t o u c h a b l e s ? This is far
m o r e irr itat ing.
The g a m e p l a y is compe l l i ng , but a lso KL My hard - g h g n o n t h e eas iest se t t ing .
Get into the habit o f A;< HEg regularly - it's
i n c r e d i b l y f ru s t r a t i ng to BCD e half-an-
hou r s w o r t h o f play w i p e d out b e c a u s e
y o u s p o k e to the w r o n g p e r s o n in a bar.
It's an ind i ca t ion o f just h o w c o m p e l l i n g
this g a m e is that I kept g o i n g back w h e r e
usual ly w h e n f aced w i th s o m e t h i n g like
this I'd e i ther iH<e up a n d g o a n d wa t ch
te l ly or h u n t a r o u n d for s o m e chea t
c o d e s .
I'm not sure that this g a m e is g o i n g
to e n d up a c lass ic . It is j@T=<= r a KL My
p layab le p roduc t , a n d (due to the c lose
l inks w i th TSR) s h o u l d BCD e as m u c h in it
for W:=< H @J s A D & D players as for b e g i n -
ners. It c o u l d g h g n t e m p t m e into j o i n-
i n g the se r r i ed ranks o f RPG add i c t s ,
a l t h o u g h I W@A H9 H<= >y abso lu te l y u n q u e s -
t ionab ly re fuse to start ea t i ng pot n o o -
dles . They are the j u n k f o o d o f theI=<H l
a n d that w a y m a d n e s s lies.
D a n n y
e
H i d d e n by the b r i l l i ance o f half-l i fe,
a n o t h e r first p e r s o n s h o o t e r , ' S h o g o :
M o b i l e A r m o r k l m l n l op q , m a n a g e d to
m a k e G a m e o f the M o n t h in the : =< H =w
p a g e s o f PC G a m e r .
S h o g o ; M A D is b a s e d o n the Japan-
ese m a n g a ideals , j@T= <= r ins tead o f
f i gh t i ng d r e s s e d in you r p o w e r e d lab
su i t , they prefer to c l imb a b o a r d a thirty
foo t m e c h a n i s e d wa r m a c h i n e . r? < H -ously t hese w a r m a c h i n e s a re pretty use-
less in c l a u s t r a p h o b i c t u n n e l s a n d so
y o u get to fight naked as s o o n as you get
o f f the streets - we l l p e r h a p s not in the
bu f f but y o u ge t the p ic ture .
M o n o l i t h are c rea t ing a spec ia l net-
w o r k >=<= > . This t h o u g h is n o b a c k r o o m
c rea t ion a n d c o u l d w i n y o u 100,000 Yen .
W i r e p l a y w i l l b e h o s t i n g four w e e k l y
d e a t h m a t c h s e s s i o n s (at w w w . w l r e -
p lay . co .uk a n d l i nked w i t h w w w . s h o g o -
m a d . c o m ) . The bes t p layers w i l l w i n
g a m e s f r o m M i c ro i d s , w h i l e t hose less
g o o d wi l l get the c h a n c e to get T-shirts
and the sound t rack CD .
The KL My best wi l l get H E< H 9=d
to the b i g play of fs in s @ E I @ n o n
the 8th of Apri l , w h e r e the w i n n e r
wil l w i n the b i g m o n e y pr ize a n d
a subsc r ip t ion to Edge . Runners
up wi l l w i n b u n d l e s o f f o r t h c o m -
ing M i c ro id g a m e s and also get to
drink I lolsten Pils till they fall @<=: . So register o n the w i r ep l ay s i te
be fore the 8th M a r c h and w i n for
the glory (and the cash) .
2 Sport tuvvwxyzvvIC e into the last eight
IC3-2 Cardiff
ICU {| } } ~ ��� } l C l u b h a s m a d e h i s to r y !
For t h e first t i m e ~�~� , t h e m e n ' s t e a m
m a n a g e d to c l i n c h a p l a c e in t h e f i n a l
s t age o f t h e n a t i o n a l B U S A t o u r n a -
m e n t ! T h e bes t 8 t e a m s in t h e c o u n t r y
wi l l b e t h e r e f i g h t i n g it o u t fo r t h e tit-
t le , a n d IC wi l l be o n e o f t h e m . A n d � �� �e al l , the t e a m d id it in great style,
s i n c e it h a s n ' t lost a s i n g l e m a t c h
t h r o u g h o u t t h e w h o l e yea r .
This is h o w it all h a p p e n e d . A f t e r
c o m f o r t a b l y g e t t i n g rid o f al l t h e �| � -
d o n o p p o s i t i o n , it w a s t i m e for t h e
na t i ona l p l a y o f f s . First a trip to Cran-
f ie ld w a s r e q u i r e d . Init ial ly t h e t e a m
w a s left s t r a n d e d at t h e t ra in s t a t i o n
w a i t i n g fo r a p r o m i s e d r i d e t o t h e
spor ts c e n t r e . �|� ~ � ~ � , a f t e r w a i t i n g
for a w h i l e , o u r 'a lways-on-the-alert '
c h a i r m a n ( Panos ) d e c i d e d it w a s t i m e
to take t h e � � � � � � � � �e t o � � | � d u n p l e a s -
ant su rp r i s es (we learnt t h e l e s s o n last
year w h e r e w e w e r e k i c k e d o u t o f t h e
c o m p e t i t i o n w i t h o u t � � � r l o s i n g a
game ! ) .
W e f i n a l l y g o t t o t h e p l a c e ,
w a r m e d - u p a n d d i s p a t c h e d t h e o p p o -
s i t ion n i c e a n d eas i l y . T h e f ina l s c o r e
was 3-1, but Ca r lo (our Ital ian star) w a s
so �� � � ~ � � � � e that at c e r t a i n p o i n t s
d u r i n g t h e m a t c h t h i n g s g o t r ea l l y
d e p r e s s i n g fo r t h e o p p o s i t i o n . W e
a l m o s t b e g a n t o f e e l sor ry for t h e m .
A l m o s t .
T h e n a l o n g b u s j o u r n e y t o p lay
U W C a r d i f f in t h e s e c o n d knock-ou t
m a t c h . H e r e t h i n g s g o t t o u g h e r . ����-e l l i ng t i r edness w a s ~� ��~� t in s o m e o f
o u r p l aye r s a n d w e o n l y m a n a g e d � ��-to r y by a 3-2 s c o r e l i n e . O n t o p o f that ,
o u r c a p t a i n Pe r r i ck g o t i n j u r e d a n d
s o m e � � � � | � � � � � � | n w a s n e e d e d to
r e o r g a n i s e the t e a m to m a k e up for his
a b s e n c e . But d o n ' t b e f o o l e d , it w a s -
n't that h a r d rea l l y - w e w e r e just t o o
g o o d for t h e m .
W i t h th is latest s c o r e , ICU {| } } ~ y
C l u b g o t a d ream-t i cke t to the f ina l s
a n d w i l l n o w b e p l a y i n g for t h e t i t le o f
bes t in t h e UK. O u r t o p G r e e k in ter-
n a t i o n a l p l a y e r ( S i m o s ) h a s a l r e a d y
m a d e h i m s e l f � � � � } � � } e for t h e th r ee
d a y t o u r n a m e n t ; s u p e r m a n Ca r l o w i l l
b e t h e r e a s w e l l ; c r a z y G e r m a n
M i c h a e l is r e a d y to t e a s e o p p o n e n t s
a n d s t r a n g e - s c r e a m i n g M i n g w i l l d o
t h e s e t t i n g . A n d t h e n t he r e ' s still a b i g
b u n c h o f t o p qua l i t y p l aye r s to m a k e
f u r t h e r d a m a g e s u c h as S t e p h a n , Per-
rick, P a n o s , M a r k o , Ru i , S t e p h a n e . . .
So, in a nu t she l l , w e ' r e g o i n g t he r e
to w i n a n d that 's a b o u t it! A r e w e ar ro-
gant ? N o way , just real ly , really c o n f i -
den t . . .
Y
Rebels take on the l Empire
IC II 3-2 UC II
A s t h e e i g h t h s u n rose |�~ r t h e m o o n
o f H a r l i n g t o n , t h e r e b e l s l o o k e d to
the i r l e ade r ��� e Skywa lke r ( aka J ean
C l a u d e ) f o r i n s p i r a t i o n . S k y w a l k e r
s t o o d f i rm w i th l i g h t s a b r c / h o c k c y st ick
b r a n d i s h e d h i g h . P r i n c e s s ���a h a d
b e e n s h a g g i n g Dar f {��~ � , a n d it w a s
t i m e fo r � ~ � ~ �� ~ .
T h e w a r s t a r t e d t r i u m p h a n t l y .
B e r m u d a t r i a n g l e d i s a p p e a r e d a n d
r e a p p e a r e d o n the i r g o a l l ine to m a k e
the in i t ia l i m p a c t . The D e a t h Star d i d
not l ike th is m u c h ; Darf {��~ r let l o o s e
his c a n n o n s . C h u b a k a (Phil) h ad w a x e d
h is l e g s t h e n i g h t b e f o r e - but th i s
s u p e r s m o o t h n e s s w a s not m a t c h e d
by a n y o f t h e X-wings a n d Tie l i g h t e r .
H e � � | � ~ d o n e r igh t in the i r c o r e .
tha t ' s w h e n t h e D e a t h Star e x p l o d e d .
t h e shi t hit t h e f a n ; t h e y c a m e at
us left r ight a n d c e n t r e - Skywa lke r ,
Y o d a , O b i W a n K c n o b i , J a b a t h e Hut -
but C 3 P 0 c o u l d n ' t c o n t r o l t h e
o n s l a u g h t as�� � e af ter ��� e o f S to rm
T r o o p e r s a t t a c k e d a n d s c o r e d t w o .
It w a s t w o a l l , bu t t h e f u n h a d
o n l y just b e g u n ; w i t h a swi f t tac t i ca l �� � | � � ~ � , � � � � | � e 1 w a s r e l e a s e d ,
s t u n n i n g t h e �� �l E m p i r e . T h e Rebe l s
c a m e b a c k h a r d e r , w i t h R2D2 a d d i n g
t h e f ina l t o u c h o f c lass - h is a n t e n n a e
p i c k e d u p the � � � � � � � |� s f r o m {��~ � s
s l e e p i n g c h a m b e r s a n d � � | � ~ d o n e in
the r e .
t h e R e b e l s w o n .
Sports reports wanted i
Want to see your team in this space?
Drop your reports into Felix by
8:30 on Wednesday ,
or emai l them to [email protected]
i i
RUNNING
Hyde Park Relays put Imperial back on the map
O n S a t u r d a y 13 F e b r u a r y , t h e c r o s s
c o u n t r y a n d a th l e t i c s t e a m h o s t e d t h e ¡ ¢£t H y d e Park Re lays . A s t h e l a rges t
s t u d e n t re lay in E u r o p e , t e a m s � � � � � ~d
f r o m as far a f i e l d as S w e d e n a n d
P o l a n d , a n d as c l o s e t o h o m e as K ings
(grrrr). H o u r s o f m e t i c u l o u s p l a n n i n g
a n d pe r f e c t p r e p a r a t i o n , c o u p l e d w i t h
t h e l e g e n d a r y g l o r i o u s w e a t h e r (at n o
extra cost ) e n s u r e d a h i g h l y s u c c e s s f u l
day .
The o l d e n e m i e s C a m b r i d g e a n d
O x f o r d w o n t h e m e n ' s a n d w o m e n ' s ¤¥¤ ¦§s � ~ ��~� � � � ~ } � . ¨� � � ~ � � � � y o f f o n -
d o n f i n i s h e d f ou r th w i t h © � �e ou t o f six
o f the i r r u n n e r s c o m i n g f r o m Imper i a l ,
wh i l s t the r e m a i n i n g Imper i a l t e a m s -� � � � � g b e e n � � � �� ~d by ª «U s e l e c -
t ion , f lu a n d l a t e c o m e r s - w e r e p l a c e d
s t ra teg i ca l l y t h r o u g h o u t t h e f i e l d , in
16th, 34th a n d 4 2 n d .
T rue t o f o r m , w e w e r e o n c e a g a i n
u n a b l e t o f i e ld a w o m e n ' s t e a m - w e
c a n o n l y g u e s s at t h e r e a s o n w h y . � |� ~ � ~ � , t h e w o m e n ' s ª « U t e a m .
Inc lud ing IC's B e t h a n , f i n i s h e d a n a w e -
s o m e f o u r t h , " the h i g h l i g h t o f the
w o m e n s race w a s the S w e d i s h t e a m s
d e s i r e to ge t c h a n g e d in f ront o f ¬0
m a l e r u n n e r s . . .
T h e p r e s e n t a t i o n a n d f o o d w e n t
o f f s m o o t h l y , b e f o r e ® � ® ¯° � ±e w e n t to
t h e U n i o n to e m b a r r a s s t h e n i g h t
away . T h e �| } � � � } e c o m b i n a t i o n o f ha l f
cut r u n n e r s a n d a s c h o o l {� } ~ � � � � ~ s
Ball l ed to p r e d i c t a b l e (if not a m u s i n g )
resu l t s .
Imper i a l has yet a g a i n e s t a b l i s h e d
i tse l f as the f o c u s o f s t u d e n t r u n n i n g
in E u r o p e , t h anks t o a br i l l i ant ly o r g a n -
i s ed a n d a t t e n d e d race . A b i g t h a n k
y o u m u s t g o ou t to all t h o s e � � � | } � ~ � .
S ee y o u next year .
0 t 2
RUGBY
Imperial Medics 2nd X through to
BUSA cup quarter finals
Saturday 13th February s a w the m e d i c s
2nd b r e a k i n g n e w barr iers for t h e
c lub by b e a t i n g N e w c a s t l e 1 8 - 1 2 a w a y
to earn a p lace in t h e last 8 o f t h e BUSA
2 n d c u p c o m p e t i t i o n . ²³´ µ¶g c o m e 2nd in t h e S o u t h e r n
Premiersh ip , a n d the re fo re g a i n e d a bye
into t h e last 16 o f t h e c u p , t h e 2 n d
had not p layed any s tuden t r u g b y s i nce
before Christmas, w i th the on ly g a m e s o f
9 b e i n g p u n c h i n g ma tches wi th fat, o l d
m e n !²·¸¹´¹ º
, t rue to m e d i c s t rad i t ion ,
the g a m e was p layed w i th guts f o u n d e d
o n the pr ide that is he ld in the c l ub a n d
in the m e d i c a l s c h o o l .
In the first hal f t h e m e d i c s h a d the ³»´³¶ ¼³½e o f a s l ight s l ope , a n d after
d o m i n a t i n g N e w c a s t l e ' s m u c h la rger
pack for t h e first 1¾ m i n u t e s , a br ie f lack
o f concen t r a t i on in the m e d i c s d e f e n c e
a l l owed N e w c a s t l e to b reak f ree , a m is-
take w h i c h¹´¹¶¼¿³ À À
y cos t t h e m e d i c s a Á·¶´¹ º ¼¹d pena l t y try. No t to be ou t-
d o n e , t h e m e d i c s r e s p o n d e d q u i c k l y
with a fantastic try f r o m 1 st year Rob Jeffs,
and w h e n t h e ha l f t i m e wh i s t l e b l e w
the m e d i c s w e r e ¾ - 7 d o w n .
The m e d i c s pack started t h e s e c o n d
ha l f w i t h o u t t h e s a m e f e ro c i t y a n d
b l o o d y m i n d e d n e s s In the ruck a n d the
mau l that they had s h o w n in the first ha l f
and it w a s not l o n g b e f o r e the N e w c a s -
tle pack p u s h e d the m e d i c s back·´¹
r
their l ine to inc rease their l ead to ¾ -12 .
The f o l l o w i n g 1¾ m i n u t e s s aw 3 penal ty
kicks at g o a l . T w o w e r e by the med i c s
n u m b e r 10, ·¿ µ s G r a n d j e a n , w h i c h
sa i l ed c lean ly t h r o u g h the posts, for tu-
nately the Newcas t l e kicker d id not ÃÄÅ e
the s a m e fo r tune .
W i t h 10 m i n u t e s r e m a i n i n g N e w -
castle had a 1 point³»´³¶¼³½¹
, but in the
c l o s i n g m i n u t e s the med i c s d u g d e e p .
They w e r e justly r ewa rde d w h e n N ick
Enze l cut back on a d u m m y , be fo re pass-
ing to Si Jones w h o broke away d o w n the
l ine, a n d Ƴ´ µ¶g c o m m i t t e d the N e w -
cast le full back, ÇÈÉ e a try s co r ing pass
to J im Fielding. ·µs GrandjeanÁ·¶´¹º¼¹»
.
The t e a m was : S. Chu r ch , J. F ie ld ing, S.
Jones , N . t n z e l , J . Kinross, Ê. G r a n d j e a n ,
A. Mor r i s , P. J o h n s o n , J .  ³¶½»·¶ , W,
G e l s o n , B. Tuff (c), Demet r i , R.Jeffs, Zu ,
G. M o r t o n . Subs : Ë¿ÁÌÍË , O. S c d d o n , N.
Taff, J . Apsey . ι ´ ¹r b e f o r e has a m e d i c s s i de
r eached the last 8 in the BUSA cup c o m -
pet i t ion , but it has f inal ly h a p p e n e d , not
th rough Ƴ´ µ¶g the betterµ¶»µ´µ»¿³ÀÏ
, but
b e c a u s e the m e d i c s t e a m spirit s h o n e
t h r o u g h . " The l obs te r w i l l¶¹´¹
r b e
b o i l e d . "
G
First r championship sees Imperial
Riding placed fourth
The R id ing team is a n e w team for Impe-
rial. For the first t i m e ÐÑÐ r w e w e n t o u t
as a t eam in four reg iona l compe t i t i ons .
The compet i t ions entail bo th s h o w j u m p -
ing (at three foot) a n d dressage d isc i-
pl ines. Unfor tunate ly w e w e r e p i cked to
be in BUSA g roups that had s o m e o f the
best t eams in the country . N o n e t h e l e s s
w e ÃÄÅ e not b e e n d i s h e a r t e n e d as it
was a g o o d effort f rom all a n d brilliant
fun .
The first s h o w w a s o n Royal Ò¹¼ s
g r o u n d near Wat ford . The dressage d id-
n't g o too we l l d u e to our ÓÔ ÕÖÔ s - h o w -ÐÑÐ r w e trashed the other t e a m s in the
j u m p i n g , w i th t h r ee c lears a n d o n e
refusal. ¿Áy (the horse int imidator) took
o n the h o r s e that h a d d u m p e d t h e
d e m o n s t r a t o r . Ca thy w e n t r o u n d at
9 0 m p h , got a clear r o u n d , but at the e n d
the steering went a bit w r o n g and e n d e d
upÀ ¹ ³ ´ µ¶
g w i th s o m e f e n c e w o r k still
a t t ached . Rachel w a s bril l iant, but w e
w e r e wor r i ed w h e n she had a d isagree-
m e n t w i th the horse in m i d air.
W e e k two saw us hos t i ng our o w n
s h o w at the Be lmont r id ing centre . This
t ime the dressage was fantastic, s e e i n g
D i a n a in s e c o n d p lace . The j u m p i n g , Æ·¸¹´¹ º , was a disaster. Kathy as usual
had a clear r o u n d - n o p r o b l e m s there .
D i ana then c locked up anµ×غ¹ÏÏ µ´
e 30
pena l ty po in ts . Rachel h ad a n un lucky
k n o c k d o w n , w h i l e the other Rachel had
to be car ted o f f after b e i n g m a u l e d by a
w i ld p o n y mons te r .
The posi t ions for the third s h o w were
start ing to get a bit t ight. It w a s t ime to
pu t o n a g o o d s h o w at ÙÚÊ. Un fo r tu-
nately Kathy w a s put o n a n express train
for the d ressage . Rachel in jured her leg
and fo rgot the test half w a y t h r o u g h . As
it a lways g o e s , y o u c a n¶¹´¹
r ÃÄÅ e it
b o t h ways . W e go t th ree s m a s h i n g clear
rounds in the j u m p i n g . Z o e a lmost got us
a fourth but the h o s e dec ided to sit d o w n
o n the last f ence .
It w a s the f inal s h o w for us o n Royal
Ho l loway territory w o u l d not get in to the
South of Eng land s h o w s but w e w o u l d
de f in i te l y g o out w i th a b a n g . Rachel
w a s so d r u g g e d up o n pa in killers f r o m
her in jured l e g that s h e fell a s l eep du r i ng
the d ressage . D i a n a f o l l o w e d suit a n d
also d id the w r o n g test, but Kath and Zoe
c o m p e n s a t e d w i th beau t i fu l d r e s sage
tests. Rachel cou ldn ' t c o m p e t e in j u m p -
i n g b e c a u s e o f her leg . Z o e a n d Kath
rode clear rounds . Then , f r ightcn ing ly ,
D i an a fell o f f a beast ca l led W o m b l e .
O u r final pos i t i on w a s fourth place.
Wel l d o n e girls, a n d better luck next year
w h e n w e wi l l ÃÄÅ e t w o teams .
Rachel Green
T
The/re new, they"re fast, and they're on the e of success
M e e t i n g ÛÜ Ýy early o n a Sunday m o r n i n g ,
the ICU Street H o c k e y T e a m (we Þßàá âã t thought o f a n i c k n a m e yet) a s s e m b l e d a
f ew m e m b e r s short. W e w e r e lack ing the
dazz l i ng skills o f ÒµÁ¹¶ t a n d Baz as w e
thought that they must ÃÄÅ e still b e e n in
bed . It d idn ' t m a k e our chances s e e m t o o
g o o d as w e h e a d e d for our first t ou rna-
ment with onlyϹ´ ¹
n players. W e³ººµ´¹
d
at Warwick k n o w i n g that our chances d id
not s e e m so g o o d w i th so f e w players -
a norma l t e a m has four players a n d a
keeper w i th rol l ing subs .
W e p layed our first m a t c h aga ins t
Edinburgh Un i , o n the t ou rnamen t pitch
which was a third of the size and more slip-
pery surface than the o n e w e ' r e used to.
The first g a m e w a s scrappy and ÛÜ Ýy dis-
organ ised for our t e a m as w e adjusted to
the surface. O u r inexper ience in "ser ious"
matches s h o w e d as our keepe r T e e n a
p layed we l l but w a s not u s e d to h i g h ´¹À·Áµ¼y balls b e i n g f i red at her face. As a
result o f this w e lost the first match quite
drastically. ¿Á̵Ày at the e n d o f the match ,
Warwick o f fe red us their third keeper as
w e d idn ' t ÃÄÅ e our o w n goa l i e e q u i p -
ment and he d id . Ou r thanks to Ben for
playing with us for the rest of the matches.
There w a s anothe t surprise for us as Baz
s h o w e d , Ƴ´ µ¶g got the train up despite
m iss ing his lift to the tournament .
Things were look ing up as w e headed
into our next g a m e against the Newcas-
tle Wildcats, w h o looked as t hough they 'd
be³½½º¹Ïϵ´¹
, but tu rned out to be f ine.
We played a lot better with g o o d runs f rom
O n g and A n d y l ead ing to an excel lent
goa l . The de fence started playing a lot bet-
ter w i th Ket, T e e n a and Matt rarely fai l ing
in keep in g their attackers at bay. µÏe used
her¹ä¼¹¶Ïµ´
e k n o w l e d g e of the g a m e to
organise the t eam th roughout , despi te
not fee l ing too wel l , l ead ing to our better
results. Unfortunately our players still t ired
a little at the end and the Wildcats got an
equaliser in the final minute . A wel l played
g a m e none the l ess .
The next games ' that f o l l owed w e r e
against the B i rm ingham åæçèæ éê , ¹¹»s
Uni and Warwick Un i . The ëìíîì ïs played
a ÛÜ Ýy rough g a m e wi th tactics like body
barg ing (such as M o into our goal ð ña his
face), and despi te los ing w e played we l l . ¹¹»s played extremely wel l and t h o u g h
our man-to-man mark ing really s e e m e d to
c lose up their g a m e they still had the
exper i ence to w i n , and¹´¹¶¼¿³À À
y d id so .
Warwick Uni also p layed ÛÜ Ýy wel l , and
beat us to c o m e s e c o n d .
O u r f inal g a m e w a s aga ins t C a m -
br idge, and w e n e e d e d to w i n it to c o m e
sixth, and it had to be by a ÛÜ Ýy large goa l
marg in ofϹ´¹
n to c o m e fifth. W e started
off wel l , but quickly b e c a m e quite crap as
fat igue set into our t e a m . It was a scrappy
g a m e that w e shou ld ÃÄÅ e w o n easily, but
only w o n 3 - 2. W e came sixth out of eight,
wh i ch isn't bad for a t e a m that the DP
(C&S) d idn ' t k n o w ex i s ted unt i l last
Wednesday .
All in all w e d id ÛÜ Ýy we l l for our first
compe t i t i on wi th our l imited amoun t of
players a n d the fact that w e we re a mixed
t eam. This is hopefu l l y the first o f many
compet i t ions that are be ing set up, and w e
want to g o to as m an y as possible. We 'd
like to thank Nc r i s sa for»º µ´µ¶
g s o m e of
us d o w n , get t ing f o o d at luncht ime and
b e i n g our only non-playing supporter . If
there are any ex or current street/ice
hockey players w h o w o u l d like to join and
play, or any skaters w h o ' d like to try it out,
then ema i l :
2 t 1
G Sport in Brief
The day the ep£e came good
IC 19 - 8 Cambridge
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2t 2ó
Unstoppable week for football rewarded with two wins, a draw and a shield ôõö÷øS
Indoor Championships
O n another epic ou t i ng the ùúûüe ýþüe set
out to face a n e w battle - of the indoor üûúþ-ety! We got off to a g o o d start, beat ing Royal
Free 2-0, w i th goals f r om H igh lander a n d
Marisa; w e battled in the second g a m e and
c a m e away wi th a draw against Royal Ho l-
iday!
SCOREBOARD ÿC
I
C
C
C
C
C
C
C
| l C c l a im a �û � �� ü� r
Y
M N e w c a s t l e
Y
d 2 �
S
U l t imate Fr isbee P o r t s m o u t h
Fenc ing (Men ' s ) C a m b r i d g e
Street Hockey : in t o u r n a m e n t
R id ing (Women ' s ) : in r eg iona l s
The next two games saw us through to
the semi-finals. Despite the�ü� ú��� �� þ�g
support f rom the crowd w e were beaten by
Royal Holiday. Can s o m e o n e please get rid
of their trumpet!!! We üû�þû��y c a m e back
to w in the play-off against tSE and f inished
wi th 3rd spot (out of �) and a shield for
Highlander as joint top goal scorer In the
tournament !
Congra tu la t ions to Catr ion f r om an
excellent debut performance, f lo for taking
a battering in goa l and O ly for gett ing indi-
gest ion in the play-off (you pig!!!).
MENS
IC III 2-0 KC� II
This has b e e n a lean season for IC thirds so
far, so 2 w ins in a day was pretty we l come .
W e w e r e s u p p o s s e d to by p lay ing St
Georges III in the BUSA plate, but �ûüþ�g
b e e n thrashed 8-1 by the sixths last week,
they dec ided a � 0 �û ���ü� r was the last
result they wou ld get. So the thirds ease into
the Quar te r f ina ls . ���� þ�� , w e ' d also
arranged to play KC� II (always a g o o d idea
to ���e a spare oppos i t ion lying around) -
w h o were a tougher proposi t ion.
But the thirds are starting to play s o m e
decent football . Tony and Paul took control
in midf ie ld , and ���n the de f ence was
sol id, earn ing the long-suffering Ricky his
first clean sheet of the season. Upfront, O le
then ��� e ���ü� ú �d 2 quality 2 quality
crosses f rom felix - if it hadn't been for
s o m e excellent �ûü�s by their keeper (and
s o m e feeble finishing), it w o u l d ��� e been
6. Playing with passions a n d purpose , the
Thirds are a match for anyone - on this form,
relegation won't be an issue. Winning BUSA
might. �����- 2 Wye College
After a recent run of bad form, w e we re
expect ing to turn it a round in this game ,
unfortunately, this a s sumpt i on was not üû � þd under these c i rcumstances, as w e
once again underest imated our oppos i-
t ion. The g a m e started wi th an ons laught
by them, but w h e n w e �ü���û��y managed
to put our foot on the ball, w e broke with
the speed of Daley Thompson . The ball was
crossed by Aidan "I'm in a band " Banks and
as Gu rm " O w e n without the strength" Mar-
w a h a ú��� þ ü�d the ball he w a s cruel ly
brought d o w n by a sluggish Wye defender.
Ricki " A d a m " Butcher calmly f inished
f rom the spot, but then Wye retaliated with
a goal almost immediately after the kick-off.
Blame must lie with the captain w h o was
too s low to close h im d o w n . Too many
beers this year perhaps? Just before half-
t ime they scored again f rom a corner - on e
of our weaknesses.
After a stern teamtalk f rom captain
Elliot "Didn't get any �û ��� þ���" N e w s o m e ,
w e c a m e out in the second half p romis ing
to just enjoy on e o f our final g ames o f the
season. This s e e m e d to work, as w e we re
quickly on top of the game , and w h e n
Ricki equal ised w e thought w e could go on
to w in it. ���ü� ú , Wye matched our extra
effort d e s p i t e s t r o n g play f r o m !"#�#n
"Does he �ü�r g o out" Dewar, Chris $�ûú%e
Donner " Tzinieris and Peyrouz "Well hard"
Modar rnes . &'(n wi th the introduct ion of
S i m o n "Scanda le " N e w t o n , Fred "Garl ic
Bread" Ge l l oz and Rola "Bo la " Bola into
the game, the final score was a fair 2-2 draw.
W i n n i n g the l eague is n o w surely out
o f our grasp - but p romot ion is still a pos-
sibility.
INTER-DEPARTMENTA)Elec Eng A 4 - 3 Mech Eng B
After just about m a n a g i n g to form a t eam
and turning-up o n e w e e k and 4� minutes
late, the Sparky's m a n a g e d to spark a w in
against the Mech ies or in the dying seconds
o f the g a m e . There w a s s o m e skillful tack-
ling and graceful passing, not to ment ion
a little bit o f shirt pul l ing.
Cyril and jua l the f renchman scored for
M c c h Eng w i th ���� , S tephen a n d M r
scor ing for the Sparky's. The g a m e looked
to be in a tight dead-lock at 3-3, certain to
g o into the deadly g o l d e n goal phase - but
a slip f rom Arun a n d qu ick reactions f rom
Mr put EE into the next round .
Well d o n e to EE and M e c h Eng, w h o
still p layed despi te b e i n g fat igued f rom
their o w n g a m e . If you are interested in
play ing in this fun tournament , contact
Sanela o n s .uk.
Cby
Across
I Boff in has n o record o f re l ig ious nut.
(13)
9 *+,- n ca l l ed in C a l i f o r n i a o n a
W e d n e s d a y . ./)
10 O for a ��ùû��n girl. (7)
II O w n goa l a b o u t e n d e d it for m o n -
ster. (4)
12 Co l lege tore back at my f r iend seduc- þü��� . (10)
14 Part of the Atlantic is ûù� ü e s e a��ü�� ,
not o f f sho re . (8)
1� Furniture m a d e of nut. ./)
18 Dwar f� þü�d ren t ing - not half. ./)
19 Take part o f darts b o a r d to start
match? 0 � 1)
21 7, 8, 9, 10, 11? (4-6)
23 H o o k ' s right hand? (4)
2� C h o o s e t ime a n d po int to work . (7)
26 W h e n p r o d d e d , qu ie t l y û22 ú� ü � 3 . 0 �) 27 W in te r spor t for f oo tba l l t e a m o f 456789 :
l nutters? (13)
n
2 T imid i ty of o rgan i sa t i on at war w i th
d i c e . ( 9 )
3 �þ�e Edward g o e s a r o u n d . (4)
4 W e r ing to be� ü� úù�û ú þ�% . (8) � ; � ü e
�ü� r to a s h e d . (4,2)
6 � þù�<s a girl 's n a m e . ./)
7 M a k i n g a l l owance for w h e r e w e�þü�.
(13)
8 ûü þ�g a m a t c h w i th W. C. ? (7, 6)
13 I�þüe in a n air less rubbe r tube . (4)
1� T o u c h e d fabr ic . (4)
16 H e m a k e s th ings w h i c h m a k e things. 0= �) 17 >�ü�ú t so ld ie r ' s under-water breath-
ing 3�ü þ�e takes in was te product. (8)
20 Stick û3ü� ú t in this p lace . (6)
22 I % þ üe out cards f i ne . ./)
24 M a p s route back to f o o d . (4)
Answers to 1136 Across : 1 R e s p o n s e 6 India 9 scar 10 Get
ser ious 11 Sp l in tered 12 ��üy 13 U d d e r
Stuttgart 16 Cart r idge 19 Z a p p a 21 Pest
23 Farm an ima l 2/ P a r sonage 26 Ug ly
27 M e r s e y 28 Ten p e n c e
: 2 Escape 3 Pert inent 4 Night � Enter s tage r ight 6 I read it 7 ?úþüe
8 @A� þ ü � r 1/ G r a t i t u d e 17 A c e t a t e
18 Infancy 20 Phall ic 22 Tests 24 Arson
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