HOW TO TURN YOUR IMPULSIVE YES’S INTO

CONFIDENT NO’S!

By Lynn Mendelsohn

SIGNS YOU’RE A PEOPLE PLEASER

You avoid conflict or disapproval by acquiescing to the wishes of others.

You frequently say “yes” when you mean “no” and vice versa.

You never want to hurt anyone’s feelings even at your own expense.

You would rather your life appear perfect and nice even if you are unhappy.

You only feel loved and accepted when you are pleasing others.

You feel like a “good” person when you please others and a “bad” person when you

don’t.

You haven’t defined your own goals and dreams.

You don’t have a “personal operating system” of your own beliefs, values, and

integrity.

You have a hard to being authentic or even knowing who the “real” you is.

WHY WE TEND TO SAY YES SO FREQUENTLY

For so many People Pleaser’s YES is a way out of

feeling guilt but it often leads to resentment and

unhappiness because we can’t stop the impulse!

For many of us YES is so wired into our brains

since we want to please everyone, we often forget

about the most important person…US!

PRE-STEPS

The first step is to set up your boundaries and

establish goals that work for YOU. Write them out so

you remember them and try to look at them daily or

at least once a week!

A LOOK INTO WAYS TO STOP THE YES SPIRAL

Next time someone asks you a question you’d

normally say yes to too quickly, try having a list of

your goals in mind and go through if this really helps

you reach them.

Also most people will understand if you say you

have to think about it and sometimes just delaying

yourself from the initial YES will be enough to help

you say a CONFIDENT NO.

BE INTUNE WITH YOU

The first step to really being able to say NO more

confidently is being INTUNE with your EMOTIONS!

Knowing what makes you feel good and what doesn’t

is HUGELY important!

If it doesn’t make you feel good and is going to make

you resent them (because we know this happens when

we say yes so often) then just don’t do it!

WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR MINDSET

Once you become more aware of your worthiness,

your ability to say NO will be a lot EASIER.

Make up a gratitude Journal that you enter 1-2

entries a day will help change your mindset and

make you more aware!

REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT

Repeat after me I am worthy of saying no when I

mean NO, and I am worthy of knowing when it

should be a YES!

When you truly know your worth it will come a lot

easier to say NO when you mean no! <3

HOW WILL THEY REACT?

More often than not, the other person will accept and

respect your request. They won’t be disappointed because

they respect you as a person.

If they get upset let it go because they probably aren’t

getting upset with you, it is with themselves and their

expectations!

Plus sometimes it just takes time for them to learn about

your and your new found CONFIDENCE!

ASSIGNMENT

Take out a piece of paper and write down a time

you said yes but wish you had said no. How did this

make you feel, why did you say YES instead of saying

no? Lets share!!

MY 8 WEEK PROGRAM

If you have found the information we went over tonight to be useful, check out

my 8 week program which will help you truly BREAK those People Pleasing

Habits for GOOD! We will work through a system I have developed to help you

make out a way to be more YOU and really SHINE Full-Circle! We will develop

a blueprint so you aren’t doing it alone! For full details check out: http://

www.lynnmendelsohn.com/shine-full-circle-exclusively-for-people-pleasers.html

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