HELP FOR CHILDREN FROM DYSFUNCTIONAL HOMES

It’s a family that doesn’t satisfy the necessities of its members,

nor promote the integral development of each one.

WHAT IS A “DYSFUNCTIONAL” HOME?

In a Dysfunctional Home…First, the parents don’t fulfill their own roles as

parents; they’re not healthy & happy.

Thus, the kids are aloof/stunted in their own growth, as parents haven’t encouraged & modeled typical development & behaviors.

WHAT IS THE PROFILE OF A “DYSFUNCTIONAL HOME?”

Before we look at the profile of a dysfunctional home, let’s look at

the profile of FUNCTIONAL home.

*Family relationships are clearly established and are positive for all the members.*The family dynamics permit for development of a personal identity and autonomy for all its members.

PROFILE OF A FUNCTIONAL HOME:

*Favoritism, partiality, and “unspoken alliances” don’t exist. * Family limits are clear, and everyone is secure within them. Roles are clearly defined. *There’s a process for communication and conflict resolution that is clear and permits quick restoration of members.

PROFILE OF A FUNCTIONAL HOME…

* There is empathy. * There is emotional support. * Family members are able to recognize & resolve personal issues through open, clear, and direct conversations.

PROFILE OF A FUNCTIONAL HOME…

SO WHAT’S THE PROFILE OF A DYSFUNCTIONAL HOME?

IN THE DYSFUNCTIONAL HOME…

* There is little regard given to the feelings and opinions of others.* Generally, these people are psychologically rigid, bossy, critical, and easily discouraged.

IN THE DYSFUNCTIONAL HOME… ?¿

• There is no “reconciliatory attitude”* There’s a climate of DENIAL.

IN THE DYSFUNCTIONAL HOME…

* No one knows how to openly discuss problems that come up in the family. If problems reoccur, the method is to deny or “stuff” the problems.*There is disorder and confusion in each person’s individual roles.

IN THE DYSFUNCTIONAL HOME…

* Limits are not respected.

PARENTAL CHARACTERISTICS OF DYSFUNCTIONAL HOMES

-Parents may be married, separated/divorced, but raised in dysfunctional homes themselves.-Parents don’t fulfill the role properly; many times

single parents become dictators.-Parents don’t permit proper development of their children to individuate, become their own person.

PARENTAL CHARACTERISTICS OF A DYSFUNCTIONAL HOME -Their homes are characterized by an infinite number of rules and inflexible norms.- These dysfunctional parents don’t communicate, they MANDATE.

- One or both parents explode on the child or treat him as if s/he were a possession.

HOW DO WE DESCRIBE A CHILD FROM A

DYSFUNCTIONAL HOME?

Children from these types of homes have difficulty developing emotionally and socially.

There are 3 rules that permeate and dominate dysfunctional homes. They infiltrate and mold the minds of these children. What are they?

THE 3 RULES IN A DYSFUNCTIONAL HOME ARE:

THE 3 RULES: DON’T SPEAKDON’T FEEL

DON’T TRUST

CHILDREN FROM DYSFUNCTIONAL HOMES…

TEND to adopt certain “roles” of how to function with others.

THE “ROLES” A DYSFUNCTIONAL CHILD

LEARNS ARE:

-The “good or perfect” child. -The “black sheep” or problem

child.

ANOTHER ROLE A CHILD LEARNS…

• BE A PEACE-MAKER-& DON’T “ROCK THE BOAT”

LASTLY…A CHILD FROM A DYSFUNCTIONAL HOME

LEARNS:

• TRY TO WIN LOVE & APPROVAL BY SUCCEEDING IN SCHOOL

?¿ SO HOW CAN WE HELP THESE STUDENTS?

AS TEACHERS, LET’S LOOK AT SOME GENERAL PRINCIPLES…

PRINCIPLE 1It is the parents’ responsibility to form their child’s personality, NOT YOURS.

GENERAL PRINCIPLES-CONTINUED

PRINCIPLE 2: OUR JOB IS TO PROVIDE ACADEMIC

EDUCATION.

GENERAL PRINCIPLES-CONT’D. ?PRINCIPLE 3:

AS EDUCATORS, WE STILL MUST REMEMBER WE HAVE AN

INFLUENCE ON OUR STUDENTS & WE SHOULD BE GOOD EXAMPLES

IN WORD, DEED, & LIFESTYLE.

GENERAL PRINCIPLES – CONT’D.

PRINCIPLE 4 “YOUR ACTIONS & ATTITUDES SPEAK

LOUDER THAN YOUR WORDS.”

GENERAL PRINCIPLES – CONT’D.

PRINCIPLE 5 SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN

WHAT YOU SAY.

GENERAL PRINCIPLES- CONT’D.

PRINCIPLE 6 The teacher’s personal and emotional

maturity is CRUCIAL the moment a dysfunctional student is provoked or

tempted to “meltdown” publicly.

A FEW LAST PRINCIPLES…cont’d: ?¿PRINCIPLE 7-9-The teacher is a facilitator of learning, not a “jack of all trades.”- Encourage the student to see a school counselor or psychologist.- Teacher’s goal should be to enlist parents as stakeholders for their child’s wellbeing AND academic success.

A TEACHER SHOULD KNOW…

…when to speak…when to not give advice…

…when to listen.

With all you do in teaching, remember the following…

KNOWING & APPLYING

* Encourage the art of active, involved listening. * Accept one another’s differences, viewpoints, and faults, without passing judgment. * CELEBRATE each person’s individuality!

YOU MUST STRIVE TO:

* Demonstrate and encourage interactive lessons one with another.

* Plan, encourage, & enjoy sharing and working together! * Encourage honesty and sincerity among students and teachers.

KNOW & APPLY…lastly,

References

• Lamar, S., & Gatfield, T. (2007). The early impact program: An early intervention and prevention program for children and families at-risk of conduct problems. Journal of Early and Intensive Behavior Intervention, 4(4), 703-713.

• Kayfitz, A.D., Gragg, M.N. & Orr, R. (2010). Positive experiences of mothers and fathers of children with autism. Journal of Applied Research in Intellectual Disabilities, 23(4), 337-343.

References-Cont’d

• Samms, G. (2012). Causes and effects of the dysfunctional family. Retrieved January 10, 2012 at: http://www.elium.com/items/849180-causes-and-effects-of-the-dysfunctional-family/print.

• Suarez, Gonzalo. (2011). Ayuda real a ninos que vienen de hogares disfuncionales. Presented at Conferencia Internacional para Educadores, 12 march 2011. Quito,Ecuador.

References – Cont’d.

• Sugbu, L. (2012). Causes and effects of the dysfunctional family. Retrieved from Helium, Inc. on January 15, 2012 at: http://www.elium.com/items/.../print.