Healing the Wounds of a Fatherless Generation FREE chapter

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Healing the Wounds of a Fatherless Generation

Copyright 2011 by Varn Brown

Requests for information should be addressed to:

Inner Court Publishing

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Dallas, Texas 75218

http://innercourpublishing.com

ISBN 978-0-9830822-0-0

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval

system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,

recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher, except for

the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible:

New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International

Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights

reserved.

Scripture references marked NASB are from the New American Standard Bible,

The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, and are

used by permission.

Scripture references marked KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.

All New Testament definitions are taken from W.E. Vines Dictionary of New

Testament Words.

Published in the United States of America


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EpigraphI write not these things to shame you but as my beloved sons I warn you. For though

you have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers, for in

Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel. 1 Corinthians 4: 14-15


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Table of ContentsHealing the Wounds of a Fatherless Generation

Foreword

Preface

Chapters

1. Knowing the Importance of a Father2.

Becoming Sons through the Spirit of God

3. Turning the Hearts of the Fathers to the Children4. Turning the Hearts of the Children to the Fathers5. Pushing Past the Pain of Fatherlessness6. Healing the Wounds of the Fatherless7. Growing from Good Sons to Become Great Fathers8. Learning to Just Be In the Kingdom of God9. Walking In Gods Dunamis Power10.

Receiving the Double-Portion Mantle

11.Learning Lessons from the Great Elephants12.Final Word

Summary

Study Guide

Notes

About Author

Resources


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CHAPTER 6

Healing the Wounds of the Fatherless

As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD

has compassion on those who fear him; Psalm 103:13 NIV

ot long ago, I was at a popular gas station called Race Trac. This particular gas

station is always very busy. I went in and the line was long as usual. But this time

I was waiting behind a young African American man. He was in his early twenties.

He was wearing the Hip Hop attire most young people wear, which I somewhat like.But there was one major problem with the young man directly in front of me that day.

His short pants were so low; all I could see were his underwear. Since he was in front of

me there was no way I could ignore it. And this day, the old elephant (me) didnt want to

be quiet. I said to him and the store manager at the register, Do I have to put up with

this?

I have to admit I didnt start the conversation well. So the situation didnt start well.

We had a few words. I said to the young man, I bet your father would not be in

agreement with the way youre dressed. He sparked back at me, You dont know what

youre talking about. He went on to say his father didnt have anything to say about it.

As you probably can imagine, we had more words. In short, he told me to mind myown business. After a slight debate back and forth, I told him I just wanted to help. I

explained he was about the same age as my youngest son. As he was finishing up gassing

his vehicle, he shouted back at a distance that he didnt believe I was trying to help him.

He drove off with a string of curse words directed at me.

My point in telling this story is, this generation (that young man and a whole lot more

like him) are asking for our help. But we must be willing and have the courage to help

them. I believe that interchange may not have had immediate results but I know by the

Spirit of God the seed of Gods correction was planted.

For example, let me tell you one of the reasons I decided to say something. I believe in

reaching out for people. The Lord requires it of me and perhaps you. Once I was pickingup my sister from work. There were some ladies talking loud about their husband

problems. To make a long story short, one of the young ladies was telling the others

about how she would tell her husband off when she got home that evening and it would

not be good.

My first prompting was to tell her the correct way to handle it, the biblical way.

Normally, I would have said something but this day I didnt say anything. A week later, I

N


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saw the other girls talking to someone else saying that the young lady was killed by her

husband. Right then, I knew I had missed a chance to instruct her and perhaps influence

her to handle it differently. So, I always carry that with me to keep me on point with

being a witness for Christ.

With all of that said, we must be willing to be the mean parent for a while and say no

when no needs to be said. We must take our courage and say in love to the children in

our circle of influence, Pull up your pants, son. Or young lady, be modest; cover

yourself. We should use wisdom in speaking and ministering to them but we must do

something. Why? Because if we dont, who will?

THE REVIVAL OF THE FAMILY

This chapter is the dearest to my heart because I believe one of the ways the Lord will

heal the fatherless generations is by restoring the relationship between the fathers and

sons, mother and daughtersin essence families. All over the world relationships are

being brought to Gods intended order.

God is restoring the godly authority lines the prophet Malachi spoke of. That greatand dreadful day which I believe stands for the judgment day, the Lord would send that

same spirit of Elijah of power and restoration to turn the hearts of the father to their

children and the hearts of the children to the fathers. It has begun in this day and in this

time lest He smite the earth with a curse.1

We see the price (divorce, teen age pregnancies, crime, suicides, killings and more)

being paid with all of the fatherlessness which is very obvious in this generation. Yet,

there is a spirit of revival taking place in Gods church. All across America men are

becoming more active in the church. Songs are being written about these fathers like

never before.

Luther Vandross wrote a song about the love of his father. Football players areshouting out Love you, Pops! My youngest son who is 23 years old at the time of this

writing still kisses me on the cheek and says I love you Dad with his baritone voice.

We are in a new day. The reason I mention this is, it was not like this when I grew up

in the 70s and 80s. Men didnt cry and they didnt say I love you. They would knock you

out if you didnt respect them. It is a better day with many restorations between the

father and his children.

Again, we turn to the words of the Malachi writer who prophesied, Behold, I will

send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord

and he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to

their father, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.2

I believe this is the beginning of a revival of family that the Lord is sending in these

last days. In this revival of family, restoration begins a journey that will bring freedom,

liberty and power of authority that will change your life for ever. Remember, the family

lineage of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Even when the Father God spoke of them, he

spoke in generational language.


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There are five things I notice the Spirit of God is doing in this revival of families to

heal the fatherless wounds within many of us and our children.

Restoring family relationships (father and mothers to sons and daughters) I

believe as the family turns back to our heavenly Father, the Church, and the Word

of God this is when restoration begins. The father and mother must take theirplace in Christ and in the Church. This is where it begins a foundation to build on.

And you know you dont want to build on a faulty foundation but a sure one that

will stand.

As they abide by the word of God and allow the Holy Spirit to lead them to raise

their children in the Word; this is where success begins. I know it can sound a bit

presto, but it is sure that life is in the Word of God as is the truth. It takes courage

to live by the Word but there is a reward. The Corinthian writer says it well, For

no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus

Christ.3

Restoring godly author ity. All authority belongs to our heavenly Father the Wordof God says if you are given any authority it can only come from God. Our

heavenly Father created all authority, spiritual authority and earthly authority.

What we have to learn is we have authority and where it comes from. Are we

walking in it correct or are we using it appropriately.

There are heavenly authorities, governmental authority, all the way to the

judge, police, principal and teachers to Dad and mom in order for us to have

authority we must submit to authority. As the old saying goes you gotta serve

somebody. Remember, power is authority. The Apostle Matthew instructed us

with Jesus words, All power and authority is given unto me in heaven and in

earth.4

Sending the spirit of power. The Word of God says in Acts 1:8, And ye shall

receive power after the Holy Ghost has come upon you. And ye shall be

witnesses.5 The question is are you willing to believe it, I see so many of us stop

short of the power of God. The word of God says that some of us would even deny

the power there of. The spirit of power comes from our heavenly father by his son

Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit.

The writer of Acts describes it well, And when they had prayed, the place was

shaken where they were assembled together. And they were all filled with the Holy

Ghost, and they spake the word of God with boldness.6 This is the fullness of God

that we should seek him for. And the victories will be endless in Christ Jesus.

Stirring the spirit of revival. The Spirit of revival is described way back in

Malachi 4:6 where the Lord is turning the fathers heart toward his children and

in these last days the Lord is calling us to stir up the Holy Spirit to set the revival

ablaze.

I believe with the family returning back to the rightful place naturally and

supernaturally things will begin to come into order. Fathers will align with their


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sons. Fathers, mothers and families will link together every place they go Christ

will go with them.

And as we carry Christ with us, revival will be set ablaze anew. Prophet Micah

said it like this when Gods power was being sent in and to his generation, But

truly I am full of power by the spirit of the Lord and of judgment and of might to

declare unto Jacob his transgression and to Israel his sin.7

Passing the blessing to the next generation (passing the paton) All this, the

Bible, Christians, everything is to naught, nadanothing, if we dont pass this

revival of families to the next generation. Sins are passed to the fourth and fifth

generation, but the Lord of host wants to pass his blessing through us to the

thousandths generations. What do we do?

It starts with a generation following faithfully hard after the Lord. After weve

become a faithful generation, then we must raise our children in the Word and

teach them to be obedient to the Word of God. Then they learn how to follow hard

after the Lord and pass to their children.

The same wonderful thing begins to happen for generation to generation; we

must teach them. The Apostle Peter describes it like this, But ye are a chosen

generation a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people, that ye should

show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his

marvelous light.8

This is Gods purpose; he wants to see the authority and righteousness passed from

generation to generation. In 1 Corinthians the Apostle Paul says I write to you not to

shame you but to warn you. He wants to correct his spiritual sons thinking and says,

You have ten thousand instructors but what you need is many fathers.

Meaning an instructor is usually paid and not usually obligated to make sure the

instructions are carried out. But a father will take personal and intimate interest in your

growth. The father is obligated to make sure it is carried to the end of the matter. This is

why we must have many fathers.

As for the fathers, the Ephesians writer instructed fathers with, And ye fathers

provoke not your children to wrath but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of

the Lord.9 Websters definition explains provoke: to excite to some action or feeling, to

anger or irritate, to stir up to evoke. So, when the Ephesians writer said provoke not your

children, he meant dont push them to anger. Im pretty sure he knew how tough we

fathers can get.

The Apostle Paul tells the fathers not to provoke their children to wrath. I wish some

body could have told my generation about this Scripture. Im saying this smiling but

being serious too. In my generation it was very different from these days among families.

In the 60s, 70s, mostly in the African American culture being a young teenager if you

did something wrong or bad you got whipped or told off. And you better not talk back or

you might get slapped. We could have used a bit more revelation on Ephesians 6, back

then. So dont push your children beyond whats needed. Now, I do believe in spanking

just to let you know but not to the extreme.


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The Word of God says to bring our children up in a nurturing way. All rolled into

nurturing is to train, educate and rear. The Lord wants the father to be a nurturer! Note,

this doesnt mean that you cant discipline them; you do them both in balance. When a

father loves his children, he will train them in a nurturing way.

When he rears them he should rear them in a nurturing way. You see I can tell this

story now that my mother is gone to glory. When my mother was raising me or

disciplining me, she did it one way. For example, as a kid I stole A DOLLAR from her

only two times. Yes, I can hear you saying, Ohhhh Varn, twice! Yes, I made a bad

choice twice and my mother reared me good. I can only describe it like this: She whipped

me so bad, she wrote the ABCs on my backside with a belt.

Now thats not the way I did with my boys; you can ask them. If they did wrong I gave

them two to three hard swipes on the hand with a belt. I guess my mother was so hard

because she raised 5 boys and 1 girl by herself. I might add and she did a very good job of

it.

So, we should be loving in our rearing and not excessive (Smile) and admonish our

children. Admonition means to notice, exhort and advise. The Word of God says toadmonish them in the Lord. So what we should do is take the Word as it is and notice

them, exhort them and advise them in the Lord. And when we do this, we are being great

Fathers raising great children.

SUMMARY

I started this chapter with the Pants on the Ground story. I wanted to title the chapter

Pants on the Ground but I guess I didnt push hard enough with my editor. We

examined how important it is for us to stay involved in the lives of this generation. We

must continue to offer our input and our influence when the opportunity presents itself.

We need more fathers that will stand up and say, Young man pull up your pants orson, you did that job excellent. I told you about my encounter with a young man at Race

Trac getting gas and about to pay for it. The young African American male in front of me

had his pants so low, only his underwear covered him. I wanted to do a Color Purple on

him. Slap him and pray for him later. But I did the correct thing; I did what a mature

elephant would do.

After telling him exactly what I thought of his Hip Hop attire-gone-bad I talked to him

gently and said you are the same age as my youngest son. I would say the same thing to

him. You can probably guess what he did next; yes he cursed me out. (Smile) There was

no problem; he couldnt whip me. And we went our separate ways but the seed of

correction had been planted.

We examined Prophet Malachis when he spoke of a great and dreadful day. He went

on to say the Lord would send the spirit of Elijah. With that spirit of Elijah, He the Lord

would turn the hearts of the fathers to the children. and hearts of the children to the

fathers. In short, he would heal the fatherless generation.

We examined five things the Spirit of God is doing to bring revival to the family. He is

restoring family relationships, godly authority lines, sending the Spirit of power, stirring


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the spirit of revival and calling and empowering his families and fathers to pass the

blessing to the next generation.

Our heavenly Father wants us to have a relationship with Him. He wants us to receive

Gods authority. It is His will for us to operate in His Spirit of power. But we must begin

with the spirit of revival in the family. After we start this revival, we need to pass it to the

next generation.Finally, I sought to encourage you with Ephesians 6:4 instructing the father not to

provoke the children but to nurture and admonish them. This is a good example of where

we should start in rebuilding and restoring our family structures.

e


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Healing the Wounds of a Fatherless Generation FREE chapter